Beach glass

Two of these in one year. I guess I have a lot on my mind lately. Oh well. I'll just put this one into the old boots with the other, maybe find it later down the road. Maybe the kids'll find it if and when I'm gone from this world, I think I like that idea more. I'm open with them, as open as I can be, but I think that a chance to just see how my mind works without me playing cryptic would be something they'd like.

Anyway, Frank Alden. A name I haven't said for five long years, until last night. A name I hadn't even thought about in at least three or four. Sometimes I'd wonder how he was, or wish I had him watching my back when things got bad. From what he said last night, he found the same strange situation I did sooner than me. Fatherhood, that is. And I like to think I'm doing good with it, but Frank?

Frank makes me think of beach glass; smooth and worn down overall, but still rough at the edges sometimes. The hunt takes its toll on anyone who chooses it for longer than their vengeance or closure lasts, if that's why they chose it in the first place. And Frank? Well, I think he's been at this a long time now, I think he's paid plenty even if he won't say as much. It makes me wonder how close to parallel he is with how I used to feel; chasing the next evil because it was all I felt like I could do any more.

And then I think of how it changed for me, how being with the kids reminded me of what it was like to really have something to fight for. And just how terrifying it was that they might be fed to the darkness out there, how time might turn them into nothing but a justification for the blood and the pain and the nights with a bottle, no glass required. I've come too close to that reality, almost lost Seph, and Syn wouldn't be far behind him. Could I even pick up the gun if that happened?

All of that kept me still last night, standing in the workshop with a hammer in hand but not swinging it, motionless on the outside. And I started to wonder, could I help? Could I give him the same peace of purpose that Star gave me, and that I think I've given Kurt in turn? I mean, I'm War. Peace doesn't logically fall within my scope. But maybe, just maybe, I can help him find some direction.

Maybe it's time I started building an army.