Completely Surreal

I have no clue what happened today. But I am not complaining. At all. I'm also not getting my hopes up because when I tend to get optimistic about things, they sort of blow up in my face. It's just incredibly strange to have some kind of crush on someone for so long and when they actually notice you, it's sort of surreal. Not that I know for sure that Isaac "noticed" me, because I'm really not that special. I'm just me. But something seemed to have happened today, in a weird way. A non-weird, weird way. Which in my head makes total sense right now.

And I stuck to my self-promises and told him he could call me. There's initiative, right? Because didn't I say that I was going to make a move this year, or get over it and move ON? I did say that. I remember saying it. And maybe he will call. Or maybe I'll call him. Okay, I totally won't, even if I want too. Because that would seem desperate, wouldn't it? Because what if he was just being nice to me because I'm Tyler's sister? What if I was imagining things and the weirdness was not at all what I thought it was? Why do I have to be a total wuss and just lay there like a dumbass when the opportunity had presented itself for me to make a move?

It's incredibly irritating! Because I had no problem asking Justin out last year. Or really, any guy before then. I usually don't have this problem with people! Just Isaac. Mr. Popular. Mr. Unattainable, Funny, Sweet, Hot, Brother's Friend and Bandmate. See? Totally surreal to me.

And there I am getting my hopes up again. And checking my phone like a moron because hello, we just spoke today. And what if he's waiting for ME to call?

HELLO! Just spoke today. Why am I so pathetic?