An End

I think she was trying to change - I always wanted to think that. But it was hard for her and, well, she wasn't doing a very good job of it on some days. I don't know how I felt about her at the end. I've hated her for years, but over the last few weeks, I got to know her better. But yet I still stand by the fact she was a bitch and if it hadn't been for Kaysen, I wouldn't have been there. I'd say more but you don't speak ill of the dead. What does it achieve?

But last night. Yesterday. I couldn't have gone out with her. Kaysen is and always will be my top priority. And there was shit in town last night. I'd thought there might be, mom had suggested that there might be. The animal attacks, she'd seen some of the reports and whilst it's known that bitten weres don't usually change on any night other than the full moon, we were both on edge. I wanted to make sure Kaysen was okay. I wasn't going to leave her last night. So I watched - I watched her house until mom came and got me and I heard the news. And then, when I got back, I watched her house some more, until the moon went down.

She shouldn't even have been out. What the fuck was Chrissy doing out? I think she only did it to piss me off anyway. Which, if she did, it worked. I can't believe she got herself killed. I never wanted her to die. I wouldn't even wish her harm. There's a reason I was willing to date her to get her off Kaysen's back, rather than taking more direct methods.

But yet, I can't deny that I'm relieved to be out of that lie. I didn't want it to end like this, god never, but I have some of my life back. It's an end. Not the one I ever imagined, but it's an end.