Slipping

it felt this way when Devon was in the hospital and they said he'd probably never wake up. shit was bad. I felt lost. And I locked myself in the bathroom and woke up like this. I can't do that now. it's not like she hates me, or she doesn't want to be with me. but how is it going to work? even if nothing happens, what then? and if something does happen, what then? it feels like it can't work and when I think of it like that, I want to die. but that's not a fucking possibility, is it?

No, it's stupid to feel that hopeless. thing's will work out. they'll get better. it has to. I don't think I could live without her. I wonder if she knows that?