Something Wrong

I called Chance last night. Or. Well. Texted him. Not for really called. Calling would be something that involved words that were said, and I totally couldn't talk last night. I couldn't sleep, so I just...I dunno. My phone was there, and I could've gone and woke up Isaac I think, but I wouldn't know what to say. So, after being awake for a while, I texted him. He said I could, right? So it wasn't bad of me? I don't think it was, but whatever.

I have to talk to Charlie, I know that, she seems to know what's going on, but I have to work up the guts to do it. As far as I know, she doesn't have a cell n stuff, so I can't wuss out and text her like I did with Chance. And anyways, what would I text? 'Hey Charlie, I can't be burned, what now?'

Yeah that's real subtle. But seriously, what'll I say? I feel like something might be wrong with me, and I don't know what. Chance keeps saying it's special or something, but...I dunno. I'm not special. I've never been special. Why would I suddenly be special now? Could I even deal with it if I was? That's part of why I'm not special, I mean, c'mon. I'm a spaz, and I know that. So for serious, what would I do?

Why does it feel like this changes everything, and that my life as I know it is about to like, totally implode? I don't know how to be different. I'm not ready for this.

Current Mood: scared
Current Music: Leave by R.E.M.