A Step Too Far
I'm not sure how I manage to be so confused and so comfortable all at the same time. Actually, that's not it - I go back and forth between the two.
There's guilt, too, and I especially hate that part. I told Kavin that there was nothing going on between myself and Ransom. At the time, I was telling the truth. I could have sworn on a Bible with a steady hand that it was the truth. So how do things change so fast? Is it me? Am I doing something wrong? Or is this just normal for a sixteen-year-old girl?
I keep replaying stuff, trying to figure out if I DID do something I shouldn't have. If I ever took a step too far. If I did it once and didn't realize, could it happen again? Will I get better at this as I go on? Holy crap I actually want to go on, I want to try again, I want
Ransom held my hand, and I liked it. Why does it always start THERE? I felt really comfortable at his house, in his company, talking over our secrets. I stayed out really late. I acted my age. We say we're pack. It's ridiculous how happy that makes me. Hanging out with Ransom is like hanging out with Kaysen, or like it was to hang out with Lullaby. I feel like I BELONG somewhere. It's so nice to finally feel like I'm in the right place after a lifetime of doing everything wrong. So regardless of worries or confusion, I'm sticking with what feels right NOW.
God, I make no sense.
* Charlotte.
- charlieangel's blog
- Login to post comments
