beneath the surface

Who: Caleb and Nic
Where: the orphanage
When: very late

She dreaded these nights, she always did. There was a pattern to them, though Nic could never quite figure out the root of it. Every Tuesday she'd sleep, every Wednesday she'd wake up feeling like she'd been tortured and forced to run a marathon simultaneously. And lately? Well, Nic had been pushing herself hard on Tuesdays, trying to prolong the time before she slept in the hopes of avoiding the nightmares that plagued her. It never worked, it really only stretched her thinner and made her even more useless the next day. But she had to keep trying, to avoid the anxiety that was now preceding the dreams themselves.

Nic had already packed her backpack full, working in her room to yank the zipper shut. Her house was dark, save for the light of her bedroom, and the space was still. Emily was already in bed, which made Nic step light as she crept out for the cordless phone, then snuck back into her room and dialed Caleb's number from memory. He's probably asleep too, she chided herself as the line connected and rang. Maybe he wasn't, though, if the time of his last visit was anything to go by. Answer or no, creatures in the dark or not, Nic had to get out, to breathe easier.

Caleb glanced over as his cell buzzed to life, soundgarden playing and he grinned. Grabbing it up, he flipped it open. "Isn't it past your bedtime, young lady?" he asked with a grin, teasing tone carrying across the line. He hadn't been asleep. He'd been up drawing, and that was just keeping his attention at current. When he got into a bit of a zone sometimes, he lost track of time, and as he glanced at the clock he saw that he really really had lost track. Oh well.

She breathed a little sigh of relief away from the receiver as he answered, smiling to herself and reaching up to scratch at her cheek. It was healing nicely, and by now? Smiling came easy enough that it didn't hurt. "Why? Were you finally going to read me a good, bloody story?" she asked as she moved towards the window, half-expecting Caleb to be right outside. "Or are you pissed that I actually kept your number?" Even if he was busy, just talking was wearing down the edge of her nerves, making sleep a less daunting prospect.

"Well, I was thinking about it, but I wouldn't want you to be up all night." Caleb told her. "And no, not pissed. See, I was kind of hoping you'd use it one of these days...you have that good ringtone and all. So it's a good thing for me. So what's up? Beyond obviously not sleeping? You sound about as awake as I do. Want to do something?" he asked easily. He liked spending time with her, he was not at all above suggesting more.

"Actually, yeah," Nic told him, fighting the urge to crack wise for the moment. It was always so much more fun in person, not to mention the bonus of him not caring when she hit him. "I'm fucking restless, think I'm gonna flake out of classes tomorrow. Wanna tool around town for a bit? Maybe do some B&E? I kinda feel like playing in the pitch dark of a condemned building full of tetanus-swarmed loose nails," Nic rambled, grinning a little wider with every word. She was getting a feel for Caleb, a little bit more every time they hung out. And by this point, she'd decided that that sounded right up his alley.

Caleb grinned. "You know, I do feel like that." he told her. "Sounds great. I'll meet you there? I can be there inside fifteen, if you want. I usually head in the back door, second one up from the concrete steps?" he said. "You got shit we'll need? Or will I need to bring anything?" he asked. He'd bring a few things anyhow, plus he had something for her. He didn't say as much, though.

Running through a quick mental tally, Nic shook her head before realizing that, hey, phonecall. "I think I'm loaded," she told him, smirking at herself and easing the window open preemptively, "Shit, there's a back door? I just pried a few boards off a window before." Of course, it was probably boarded back up now, and she wasn't going to lug around a hammer. That would just look bad if she got stopped by the cops. "I think I can find the door, yeah. I'll try and make it around fifteen or so. Don't be late or I'll just drag a stranger off in your place," she threatened, hanging up without giving him a chance to retort. Fun, Nic thought with a grin, sneaking the phone back into the kitchen, then slipping out her window and starting off through the dark.

He'd opened his mouth to do so, then laughed to himself as he heard the dial tone. He hung up, then got up, changed, grabbed a few things and headed out. It wasn't like his brothers really asked him where he was going or anything. They had...a looser definition of rules than a lot of people did. He headed towards the orphanage, making it ahead of Nic as far as he could tell. He went and sat on the landing in front of the huge, heavy metal double doors, waiting for her. In his mind, he was thinking that this was the kind of thing he needed more often. He felt better already right now. He felt less like a total screaming fuckup, which he had been feeling lately. At least he wasn't fucking up (so far) with Nic.

Eventually, she started plodding into his field of vision. Unsurprisingly, Nic's headphones were up, a slight hunch in her stance to compensate for the weight and tension her backpack added. A cigarette dangled from her lips as she tilted her head to watch a lone car roll down the street and past them. She looked back as the orphanage loomed large overhead, staring up at the roofline above her and then back down to the double doors and Caleb seated in front of them. "What, did you jog here?" she asked with a smirk, one hand tugging the headphones down as the other plucked her smoke away, leaving Nic to eye Caleb with a light smirk as she exhaled.

"No, you're just a slow bitch." Caleb told her with a grin. He also dug something out of his pocket. "Catch." he told her, tossing something down the steps towards her. It was the knife he'd got her. Folding blade, five inch, sharp little thing. It was simple, stainless steel with a black handle, not a shiny finish. He'd gotten it specifically so that if the blade wasn't out, it wasn't going to catch light, or attention. Then he stood, and just watched her, waiting to see how she reacted. Wanting to see if it was positive or not. He was betting on positive, but...one never knew.

"Well you're a--" Nic started to retort, losing the witty rejoinder as he tossed whatever it was towards her. Nic hopped back a few steps, springing up to grab the knife and teetering precariously as her backpack threatened to drop her once she'd landed. "--a skinny bitch," she finished, staring daggers at Caleb, "And you throw like an old lady, too." She smirked his way, finally looking down at what he'd thrown, then immediately back up to Caleb with a questioning look. Boy doesn't waste any time, she thought as she folded the blade open for the first time, tilting it slightly to reflect a bit of streetlight. "Aw, you even remembered my favorite color," Nic added in a low murmur as she let it rest in an open palm, wondering if he'd find it weird of her if she tested the blade. No, no. This is Caleb, she decided, curling a finger in to ghost the tip lightly against the blade.

He leaned his shoulder against the building and just watched her, letting the barbs go unanswered as he did so. He figured she'd test the edge. It was sharp, he'd made sure. Sharpened it up a little better himself, even, just because. He didn't say anything, just studied her as she looked the gift over. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and waited.

Nic was careful, figuring that Caleb wouldn't have messed around with the knife. And even that thought made her feel a little guilty; this was pretty new-looking, had he bought it himself? She'd have to find a way to pay him back, once she started working at Ash's shop. If, Nic reminded herself, her gaze fixed on the blade and her own fingertip as the two came together. It was sharp, sharp enough to cut slightly deeper than Nic had planned. She gasped near-inaudibly as the skin parted against the knife's edge, dropping it into her other hand and folding it closed, then starting Caleb's way. "So what do I owe you for it?" she asked distractedly as she got closer, her eyes fixed on the little cut and the way she was squeezing a dot of blood to the tip.

He watched her cut her finger, watched her squeeze the wound, and had the entirely inappropriate urge to take her hand and bring her fingertip to his lips. Yeah that wouldn't go over really well, now would it. Not to mention that probably was a little on the creepy side. OR a lot on the creepy side. He never quite knew, he only knew he had tendencies that were. Like his stalker ones. Those were creepy. He just didn't really care enough to curb them. This, however, was a little less outskirts-creepy and a little more intimately creepy. So, he kept his hands in his pockets, and tried not to think about how she'd been fascinated with his blood on her hands the other night. How that had effected him in ways he couldn't clearly quantify. He needed a new obsession. "You don't." he told her.

Maybe they were sharing a mind, or at least a thought. As Nic closed the gap she raised her finger to her own lips, dotting the blood away against her tongue and keeping it obscured for a moment. She wasn't some blood-fetishist, it was just a natural instinct with little cuts like that. After a moment she popped her finger free, smirking to see only a faint color change as new blood spotted the edge of the cut. "Like hell I don't," she insisted, pocketing the knife in her sweatshirt. "You don't get to buy me stuff, Lockwood. That's good money you're throwing away just so I can probably lose a finger." Besides which, presents were another thing on the endless list of 'What Makes Nic Uncomfortable'.

She wasn't helping. And while he'd never quite thought about kissing her til right then, it was there when she put her finger to her lips, possibly a little more so when she took it back, and there was just that hint of red left behind. Yeah that was whole worlds of Not Helpful. It was actually a pretty strong urge, too, which surprised him a little. Fuck. That wasn't a good thing. At the rate he was going, he really really needed to not fuck things up with her, and harboring an attraction to her wasn't the way to go on that score. "It's not like I bought you anything expensive, or overwhelmingly awesome. I bought you a decent knife. It wasn't expensive. Take it and shut the fuck up about it." he told her in return.

"Fuck, who says it's not awesome?" Nic demanded, fixing a challenging look on Caleb. "Maybe it's not yet? But soon... once you show me some 'Cut A Bitch 101', it'll be more awesome than you know what to do with." The challenge didn't die entirely, but it subsided as she gave him a smile with a hint of tooth in it, daring him to argue that at least. If she thought about it, Nic would've been weirded out by that moment alone. Smiling came easier lately, though she still opted for a good smirk most of the time. Maybe Caleb was a factor in there, but Nic wasn't thinking on all of that at the moment. No, she was just focused on a reprieve from sleep and a few laughs. "I'll drop it? But only because I made you a sandwich, and you're gonna eat it. So we're square." For now.

"Technically, it'll not be the knife that's awesome, that'll be you." Caleb pointed out with a smirk as he firmly shoved any urges away for the moment, and didn't dwell on them. "So, still, I stand by my own assessment. It's metal that folds. Nothing special. But hey, I'll take something to eat." He sort of forgot to sometimes. He wasn't that excessively good at taking care of himself at the best of times, and when he was preoccupied? he was even worse at it. So, it was possible that he hadn't eaten in...longer than he could recall off the top of his head, so yeah, food was good. He pushed off the building, and reached out to tug the door open, though he didn't necessarily hold it open for her. Just out of pure, paranoid habit, he went in first. Just in case.

Nic was almost disappointed. She lost a perfect opportunity to call him a homo when he didn't hold the door, and after scowling for just a second she moved to follow. Nic braced the door on a hip, slipping her backpack down and unzipping it enough to dig a hand in. "Hell, Caleb. Did you bring anything that wasn't a present for me?" Nic asked as she dug out a flashlight and clicked it on, offering it to him. She had another stuffed away with a blanket to go with the sandwiches, sodas, and other goodies. She just had to find it first. "Shit, I thought ahead at least. Said 'hey Nic, the orphanage is going to be as dark as it gets. Bring a flashlight. Wait, bring two, Caleb's a special boy sometimes'."

"And by 'special' I'm assuming you mean 'short bus'." Caleb said, smirking faintly as he looked back at her. "And I brought a ligher, and my own knife, do those count?" he asked. "Also--I asked if I should bring anything and you told me you had shit covered. I just trusted you on that." he pointed out, flashing a grin at her, as he took the flashlight from her and shone it up the decrepit hallway. It was freezing in there, too, though that was to be expected.

"Well, fear not," Nic was quick to assure him as she found the second light, clicked it on, and reslung her backpack over her shoulders, "I thought ahead for both of us. Hell, I was packed before I even called you." She angled her light to one side as they walked, smirking with a familiar cynicism in the darkness. "Didn't think you'd be up, or you'd be off doing something more interesting. I was just gonna bum around town alone for a few hours. Good thing you have nothing worthwhile to do tonight," she teased, aiming her light at his back and splashing his elongated shadow across the floor.

"Hey--does that mean you would have come here without me?" Caleb asked, glancing back in her direction. "And if I didn't answer, would you have stopped by?" he asked. He hoped so. He walked up the corridor, footsteps scraping along from the light layer of concrete dust covering the floor. The empty maws that were once doorways loomed on either side of them, light from the flashlights only catching slight, distorted glimpses inside. They all looked trashed. Gutted, though it wasn't clear by what. Vandalism or just the building eating itself. In Caleb's mind, it was a toss up.

The details had changed since the last time Nic had been in here, but the general motif was the same. This was a place the town itself didn't care about, had tried to forget about, but couldn't quite excise entirely. She flicked her light from side to side, briefly filling doorways with looming shadows cast by garbage that had been strewn around and knocked down. "No and yes," Nic answered with a smile, liking the violent bloom and fade of the shadows under her light. "No, I wouldn't have come here without you. We made a plan, right?" She'd almost said 'date', but that wasn't even close to accurate. "And yeah, I would've come by. I have window privileges and nothing better to do than wear out my welcome. Plus I want to take pictures of you asleep and drooling."

He had to look back at her at that, and he arched a brow. "I'm trying to decide just how creepy that is on a scale of one to ten. I mean, just the motivation behind it..." he said, teasing. "Are you a drool fetishist? Does that even exist? Nevermind, if it does, i don't want to know. But now great lengths are you willing to go for to get what you want? Pictures of me sleeping, and drooling. Yeah. You know, there might be something a little strange about you, Nic..." he commented as if he'd just pieced this together.

She took a few quick steps forward to shove at one of Caleb's shoulders as they walked, smirking at him as she did. "Cock," she spat out with a rough laugh, her brows knotting together as she felt a little twinge in her fingertip. "I just figured it out," Nic went on, pocketing her hand again, "You. You're a secret identity. You must really be Captain Fucking Obvious." Nic sighed, stopping after the shove to flash her light around behind her. "And the drool? It's just in case I ever want to expose you for having a side that doesn't just unnerve people. Your secret weakness and all... where are we heading? The roof or the basement?" she asked, neatly tacking a new subject on in the hopes of getting the last snide remark in.

She had no such luck there, though he did let her shove him, he laughed, then waited for her to catch up more, so she was beside him as they walked. "You're right. That's exactly it." he agreed. "Captain Obvious, that's me. Don't tell anyone." He paused, then eyed her for a few heartbeats out of the corner of his eye. "I don't unnerve you all the time." he said. Which wasn't to say that he didn't unnerve her sometimes, because he was positive he did. Just not all the time. "And I thought we were braving the basement."

"Only twice now," Nic told him easily, nodding to assert her claim. Was it weird to just know like that? "You're just... you're you. There's stuff I can relate to, plenty I can laugh at you for, and a few things that are weird. Big surprise, you're a mixed bag. Everyone is. Except most people are like... popcorn covered in shit mixed with unpopped popcorn? You're a little better." There was a backwards compliment if any existed, and Nic chuckled as she looked his way. She could sort of see him in here; the residual light from their flashlights detailing his profile, hinting at the curves and planes of his features. "Yeah, I'm game for the basement. Hell, I dressed warm and everything. My mom'd be so proud..."

"You're such a good, thoughtful little girl, aren't you, princess?" Caleb said, sort of waiting to get hit for that. "You packed up everything we'd need, even brought me food, dressed all warm...." he continued, grinning even if he wasn't looking over at her at the time. Like he wasn't just waiting for her to swat him, or punch him...or she could go for something else this time, just for originality's sake, and the fact that he'd called her 'princess'.

Caleb needed to be careful of what he wished for, that much was certain. Nic's hand snapped out between them, darting up to seize his hair as she tilted his head over and leaned in close, fingers knotting tight, but not so tight that she'd pull some scalp free. "I will glue a wig to your head and dump you outside a frat house at three in the morning in a dress," she growled into Caleb's ear, sounding as serious as she ever had, but for the smile permeating her tone slightly and the fact that she obviously wasn't pulling as hard as she could.. "Just try me, Lockwood. Just try."

Caleb bit back the words that rose up in the back of his mind that would turn the tables right back around on her. He did grit his teeth, and figured that everything about what he thought to say, and the fact that he kinda liked having his hair pulled like that and her speaking in his ear... would really creep her the fuck out, and it would end the play back and forth they had going--sooooo he just didn't go there. On any level. "I just have one question." Caleb said, voice the tiniest bit rougher than it had been a second ago. He paused before continuing. "Should I have addressed you as 'mistress' instead?" he asked. And yes, he knew damn well he was pushing it but he just couldn't help it, not when she'd reacted like she had.

She had options for retaliating? But she didn't, at the same time. Spitting in his ear was just gross, biting him would play right into his submissive/dominant game, and saying something? Well, Nic was realizing that Caleb was crafty, and prone to turning her words around on her. So she did what so many kids knew how to do, despite not having had a playground life she could remember. Nic kept his hair taut in one hand, sucking her cut finger and popping the tip of it in his ear. "You should just be more careful," she warned with a laugh, withdrawing both hands with one last little tug at his hair. "I may not know weird-ass magic? But I fight dirty."

He laughed, and reached up to rub at his ear. "You also fight like a five year old...." he teased, starting to walk again, though he half expected her to do something else. He just wasn't sure if he hoped it would be worse, or he really needed to stop teasing her for a good ten minutes at least, because she was effecting him, at least a bit. And he'd already gone and shoved stupid inane urges away tonight, did he really need to be adding more on there? No, he didn't. Because the very last thing in the entire world that he wanted just now was to get involved with anyone. Especially a girl that he really liked spending time with. It was asking for trouble, so he wasn't going there. At all. Period.

"No argument here," Nic agreed with a laugh, shoving him lightly as they kept walking. "Hair pulling, nut shots, wet willies... hell, I'll titty twist you if I get a chance." Well, wasn't she grabby tonight? Nic was aware of it but not concerned; after all, he kept asking for it. She pointed her light ahead to a dead end hallway with a door to one side, frowning Caleb's way in the darkness. "You've been down before, right? We heading the right way?" She hoped so, this'd be fun. Plunging into total darkness for a while was right up Nic's alley, even though she'd brought a small bag of tea lights along with her for if they opted to linger down there.

He stopped himself from another comment as he let it go, opting for that stopping teasing her thing he'd been thinking about. "No, I haven't been down before." Caleb told her. "But there's a red doorway up here at random. Kind of looks like a doorway directly to hell. I say we see what's behind that one." he suggested, watching her out of the corner of his eye as they walked, and he did drift ever so slightly ahead. Just in case. He didn't think anything would be in here, but if there was trouble, he wanted to be able to do something about it before it got to her. And sometimes? That meant just being half a second closer to whatever trouble happened by.

"If it starts playing 'Welcome To Hell' when you open it, I'm game," Nic joked, watching Caleb in kind as he got half a step ahead of her. Was he playing at something? Maybe he was masochistic, in which case hanging around Nic meant he had to be constantly fired up. "And don't think about trying to ditch me and get me spooked, buddy. I've done this place already, I'll bust through a wall if I have to to get at you," she added with a smirk, refraining from hitting him. Technically, she would do best keeping it to instances where he provoked her first.

"Though you said you hadn't been down in the basement either." Caleb said, glancing back at her. "I won't ditch you." he promised. "I mean, sure, there are some people who's idea of a funny joke would be to just try to scare the shit out of you in a place like this? ...I'm not really one of them." Mostly because trying to scare people wasn't his thing. He knew what was actually scary in this world, and didn't especially like inspiring fear in those around him unless he had to. It was a twitch of his.

"Good, I don't feel like doing a Kool-Aid Man tonight," Nic said with a softer smile aimed his way. Outside of the standard 'boo!' at her mom once, Nic didn't go in for spooking people either. There was just no point, and she liked to assume people would react the same way she would. Get scared and take a swing. "And no, I haven't done the basement. But if I can find my way out of there, I'm fine with the rest of this place. Except the roof," she admitted. It was hard to do the dangerous stuff when you were alone, and Nic had known back then that if she got hurt, she'd be hurt and alone here.

"We'll head up there sometime." he said. "I know a pretty quick route. Which isn't to say it's actually quick? It's just quicker than some others." he assured her, coming up on the red door he'd been talking about. It was down a short flight of concrete steps that needed a good sweeping, as they were caked with bits of debris, but that was normal for the building. He reached out and opened the door up without hesitation, and shone his light inside. And hey. Stairs. Stairs down, and into a blackness that was darker than he'd experienced to date. The flashlight beam even seemed to get a little swallowed by it. "Well, if it isn't the basement, it's horror flick black and fucking cold." he observed.

Arcing her own beam into the darkness of the stairway, Nic angled it to join Caleb's and smiled as the beams solidified a bit. She almost thought she could see the bottom of the stairs. "Maybe it's a meat locker. We're gonna catch Leatherface during his coffee break, some sorority girl already on the hook..." She trailed off, grinning his way as she snapped the flashlight up under her chin to illuminate her own features. "We can swaddle you in the blanket I brought if it gets too chilly. God knows I'll get bored bringing you soup if you get the sniffles." She took the first step down, shivering at the palpable drop in temperature and frowning. Nic knew she was being a little harsher tonight, but why? Probably because he keeps egging me on, she mused, deciding that Caleb would've complained if she'd been pushing it too far.

"You'd bring me soup in the first place?" Caleb asked, twitching as she went first. "Okay I'm going to ask this once? And I really hope you don't give me a lot of shit over it, but let me go first." he said. And he waited to get a lot of shit for it. Because really, she probably would on principal, and he was okay with that so long as she actually complied. He just wasn't in the mood for surprises of the variety that meant he wound up with a dead friend. Really, that would suck. He'd rather just not.

Since he'd told her about the truth out there, Nic had tried not to dwell on it too deeply. Doing so alone would drive her mad, and when she was with Caleb? She didn't want to mire him down with what felt like endless questions, at least not until they actually started her lessons. But moments like that? Well, they reminded her of how fucked up the darkness could be, they made her wonder what might've happened if she hadn't called Caleb and had gone off alone instead. "Uhm," Nic murmured, stopping in her tracks to let him by, "Yeah, I get it. That's cool. And yeah, I'd leave cans on your windowsill," she added, trying to rally a little humor back into things.

He didn't say anything as he stepped by her, not wanting to rub it in, or make more of a big deal out of it than he had to. She'd conceded, so he was just going to head down the steps two ahead of her and that was going to be it. "Cans on my windowsill." he repeated, also going with that. "Well, I suppose that's some thought involved and all. So, I should appreciate it on some level. Can't promise I'd do anything about them though. I mean, opening cans...heating shit up...it's a lot of work. I'd probably just sleep." he told her.

She had to wonder, as she started down after Caleb, if this was why he wanted to hang out so often. Did he feel responsible for her? Was he compelled to try and protect her? Maybe you do drive him crazy, she thought with a frown that was lost in the darkness, some part of her happy with the idea. Here was the old Nic, the cynic, the one who couldn't take a compliment. "Well, I don't do any cooking that goes farther than a microwave," she spoke up eventually, doing her best to push the self-doubts aside. "So you can just sleep and starve in tandem."

He noticed that she took a second to answer. He got to the bottom of the steps, and panned the flashlight around, not seeing anything that attracted his attention. So, he was good with her coming the rest of the way down wit him. "..Well so long as I know where I stand." he told her, looking back up at her. He paused for a few long moments. Just looking, and in the end he wound up not asking the question on the tip of his tongue. "Think we're clear."

"Right on," Nic answered, her light cutting a swath through the dark as she headed the rest of the way down. She tucked the flashlight in the crook of her arm, glancing at what it uncovered as Nic dug out her cigarettes and popped one in her lips. The floor was thick with dust, debris littering spots here and there, and Nic had to wonder how many people were brave enough to even get this far. She certainly hadn't been when she'd come here on her own. Lighting up, Nic squinted against the tiny flame as it washed over her cheeks, then inhaled deep off her cigarette. "Lead on, Cortez," she joked after a moment, raising her light back up to try and flesh out what was directly ahead of them.

"Pick a direction." Caleb said, making an expansive sweeping gesture with his arm. "It's not like I know where to head. So...ladies choice." he said, quirking a half smirk at her. "Who knows what we'll find down here. How lost we can get. I feel like we should have a clip board and red pen, all Silent Hill 2 style, where James had to draw the map himself."

Nic frowned in consternation, swinging her light from side to side. A few doors to one side, a single door to the other, and darkness stretching off ahead? Hrm. "Let's start with that one," she suggested, pointing her light at the solitary door, "Maybe there's an ammo drop or something. Is that how they do things in Silent Hill? I never really had a chance to play any of those." Or video games, period. They were a luxury that had never really grabbed Nic, though she figured that a nice, gory one would make some good viewing while someone else played.

"You haven't?" Caleb asked, surprised. Then thought about it, and wondered if she'd played before, but just didn't remember. "Maybe some weekend when we're bored, we'll play. Rent a system or something and pull an all nighter. Sound like a plan?" he asked. "It's...entertaining." he decided. "But yeah normally you have a map, and it gets marked off as you go. But at one point, there was no map for the area, so there's a really simple one drawn out as you go, like the guy you're playing's making it up as he goes." He headed over towards the door, walking over and first pushing at it with his foot to see if it would just swing open on it's own.

"Are the games better than the movie?" Nic asked, shining her light on Caleb as the door he prodded groaned in protest and eased a bit. "Because it was some kickass eye candy, but I hate when a movie has to hold your hand and explain everything. Implications are way better, I don't like to turn my brain off entirely. Just, like... ninety-eight percent." She chuckled softly, pulling on her smoke and listening to the crackle of burning paper in the near-silence of the space around them. Really, it sounded like a good plan for a day. No injuries, no monsters. Just some videogames and a pizza or something. "And yeah, I think I'd be down for that. But you have to do all the actual playing. I suck ass when it comes to videogames."

"It was mainstream, what do you want?" Caleb asked. "But to answer your question...the games are a million times better than the movie. In fact, if you want games that don't really explain a whole lot, those are for you. And you're going to make me do all the playing? You sure? I might have to make you fight a few monsters...but don't worry. If we're playing two, I won't make you fight Pyramid Head." he promised her, before he stepped into the room proper, shining his light around. The whole building was like this. Extreme degradation right next to rooms where things looked damn near brand new. Like it had just been left for a month or so, not years. This room had both going on. There was paint on the walls that was cracked and peeling, more wall showing than paint, and there was a desk shoved towards the back wall that looked a lot better than the rest of the room.

Moving to the doorway, Nic leaned around the wall to peer in as she slipped her knife back out of her pocket. "Pyramid Head? He the guy or thing or whatever who peeled that chick in the movie?" she asked around her smoke, clicking her knife open and running her thumb along the blunt edge, teasing her skin with the point of it. "And what the hell? That looks new. Did someone start moving in here and just decide to say 'fuck it'?" That aspect definitely amped up the creepy-factor of the place, but it wasn't enough to unnerve Nic yet; not with a knife in her hand and a competent friend nearby. Don't be that girl, she told herself stubbornly, squinting as smoke crept from her lips to sting her eyes.

"Yes, that's the guy who peeled the chick. Which was awesome." Caleb said, walking over towards the desk, and he moved behind it, starting to open up drawers. He glanced up, and smirked. "Are you trying to cut yourself again?" he asked, though internally he was actually kind of happy to see her messing around with the blade again. Maybe she liked it, which he was pretty sure she did, but that kind of sold him on the idea more. "And yeah, as far as I can tell, this place has a lot of shit like that. I've seen rooms upstairs too that look like you could move right in. Right next to ones of course where the wiring's ripped out of the wall and the drywall's rotted completely out by the door."

"Heh, the wiring's gone?" Nic asked, obviously amused by that. "Back home, some of the crustier punks would strip wires from abandoned houses. You can resell them to a lot of places for some spare cash. And what if I am trying to cut myself?" she asked haughtily, focusing on the tiny pressure of the knifepoint. "Maybe I'm a blood fetishist. Or I'm breaking in the knife. Why? You worried about bandaging me up again, Florence Nightengale?" It felt better to be back to her mixture of self-deprecation and open mockery, and Nic grinned Caleb's way as she leaned in the doorframe, holding up the knife in her hand to let him see her prod the skin. "Don't tell me you can't stand the sight of someone else's blood..."

That wasn't really a good statement. He turned his concentration back down on the desk as he dropped down, more or less disappearing from sight. It gave him a minute to try and erase the mental imagery such a simple little blowoff statement bombarded him with. Like the blood on the floor of the demon bar, where all he would have had to do was drop down. Hell in some places it was splashed along the walls, all he'd had to do was streak his fingers through. In order to try and block that from his mind, he shut his eyes for a long moment and brought up the sight of her, as they were walking home and she was just...practically playing with his blood on her palm. He'd drawn a version of that. He brought that to mind too. He drew in a deep breath, and let it out slowly, before he attempted speech. "If you're going to break in your knife, generally speaking you let it taste someone else's blood...."

Smirking wider at that, Nic turned her hand out to point the knife at Caleb as if she was holding a rapier. "Well," she teased, bringing the blade back after a moment, "If you weren't numb to pain and way too fond of stitching yourself up, I'd ask you to give me the chance. But I'll just have to wait for that special someone, I guess." Nic feigned a pout for half a second, folding the blade shut and tossing the knife up and down in her hand. "Are you looking for something specific in there?" Nic went on, watching Caleb at the desk, "Some free pens? Stationary? Pictures of someone else's kids?"

"Files." Caleb answered her. "and I'm not numb to pain." he added, opening up another drawer, glad to have the different subject to concentrate on. It helped. He stood up and leaned both palms on the desk, eyes on her. "I still feel it. I just ignore it." he said. "So, if you happened to want to..." he said, holding his hand out towards her. "You don't have to cut deep enough to stitch, you know." He gave her a smirk, a very challenging edge to it.

Nic stared at him for a long moment, trying to find the joke within the challenging look he had and coming up empty. He was serious? He's serious. "Just remember when I'm dragging you to the hospital; you offered," she warned, walking over in even strides and snapping the blade open again. Already she was getting a feel for the fold, for the tension of the blade-catch, and she liked it. "I guess that sex-ed week in health class was true," Nic said as she set her flashlight on the desk, aiming up at the ceiling. The halo of light it cast over them and across the ceiling was strange; washed out, lacking the real vibrance of any colors, but enough to see by for sure. "Your first time really is bloody," she finished with a grim smile. Closing her free hand around Caleb's wrist, Nic turned his hand palm up and brought the tip of her knife in, piercing lightly into the heel of his palm. She watched him stridently with the light cut, trying to read his eyes, to watch for any change there, then angled her knife down so the slight drops of blood ran down the blade. "All done, unless you want me to kiss it better," she joked with a wink, running a finger along the flat of the blade to collect his blood.

He didn't say anything as she spoke, and just watched her eyes the entire time. There wasn't any change as the blade bit in, and yes, he could feel it, the bright spark of pain there, he just didn't react to it. He was far more fascinated with her in those moments. In her grip on his wrist, where she chose to put the blade, the look in her eyes as she did it. He watched as she ran her finger along the blade to get his blood off of it as well. He quirked the very faintest of smirks, and there was possibly a dark undercurrent to it. "Would you if I said I wanted you to?" he asked. Which wasn't him asking her to. He just had to ask.

The urge to flail in panic didn't quite reach Nic's limbs, but it did twist up her expression with surprise and uncertainty for a moment. There was a look in his eyes, possibly a teasing edge, but somehow more intent, more fixed on her than on simply making her uncomfortable. Running her thumb against the blood on her finger, Nic had to glance over a shoulder awkwardly before she looked back, smirking though her heart wasn't quite in it. She hadn't been ready for that, that was for sure. "I just might," she told him, reaching up to press her thumb against his cheek and leave a red print there. "Are you saying you want me to?" Why are my guts all... knotted?

He didn't stop her when she reached up to press a bloodprint to his cheek. He didn't move, even stayed still for her. "Just wanted to know." he told her, eyes never leaving hers. And he knew he'd thrown her off, that much was purely obvious, but he didn't know quite how far off. Either way, it was interesting. "Are you war painting me?" he asked, finally breaking the heavy eye contact, study of her to look down at his wrist. It was only there for a second before he looked back up at her, though. Leveling and remaining as he focused in entirely.

"Just giving some back," Nic told him with a more confident smile, wiggling her red thumb and finger at him for a moment, then tapping her own nose with the finger. She wasn't sure if any had stuck, blood dried fast in such small amounts, but the idea was enough to make her laugh quietly. "I think you lose enough blood that I shouldn't borrow some just to paint you up." She seemed to be bouncing back and forth tonight, launching between comfortable ground and moments of exposure that Nic just didn't know how to handle. There were all sorts of impulses; flight urges, fascination, a compulsion to take a step closer when they were already fairly close... "You need to start charging interest, Lockwood. Otherwise someone's gonna bleed you dry," she said, winking and wrinkling up her nose with her smile.

"But it's okay to borrow some to christen your blade." Caleb pointed out, smirking at her again. "And actually, since getting back to town, I've bled surprisingly little. I have enough to spare." he continued, leaning slightly over the table, before he reached out, and rubbed his thumb over the end of her nose, where she'd left a few flecks behind. He didn't think he should say what came to mind about her interest comment. Most things that want to spill my blood wouldn't take a payoff, they just want me dead.

Nic went cross-eyed as she looked down at Caleb's thumb, waiting until the moment he'd finished before she snapped her head back and bit at the air just below it. She smirked, feeling that awkward tension again as she took a step back from him and sighed. "Hey, you offered, remember? Like, thirty seconds ago?" she shot back with a grin, resisting the urge to go clean his cheek. Honestly? Caleb didn't look half bad with a little blood on him. Nic wouldn't dare to say as much, though; he gave her enough grief for even teasing that he was cute. "But I'll remember that you have plenty if I decide to war paint you. Or if I want to ruin Chrissy Chapman's prom dress or something," she teased, deciding that'd be an awesome idea.

"Yeah but we weren't talking about my motivations, we were discussing yours." Caleb pointed out with a flash of a grin. "Though, I do remember you offering me yours at one point." he added, walking back around the desk. There wasn't anything left in the drawers, definitely nothing interesting. "The night we met...something about making my costume more authentic..." Which technically it was, all the blood on there was mine, just...old. he thought, and wasn't sure if he should say or not.

"Hey, the offer still stands," Nic reminded him, hooking her thumbs in her backpack straps. "Halloween's running up on us, after all. And I still think I owe you some after I ran you over on my board." He'd bled a lot more than she had that night, as she remembered. "I need a costume though. That Slipknot mask tearing at my earrings was the only reason I offered you some blood in the first place," she said, grinning and reclaiming her flashlight, then nodding towards the door. "And c'mon, bodyguard-pincushion-guy," Nic teased, "Let's skip down memory lane while we check out those other doors and find somewhere for a morbid picnic."

"Yes mistress." Caleb said, grinning impishly as he said it, that before he quickly slipped out the door, just to make her work for it if she happened to want to hit him again. Which he figured she would. That was the most entertaining part of pushing her buttons after all. He had opinions on what might be a good halloween costume for her, but didn't say, like he was keeping the whole blood on the clothes reality issue to himself too.

Yeah, that hit some buttons. "Oh you..." Nic seethed at his back as Caleb ran off, "Cockneck!" She bolted after him, fighting her own smile as Nic rounded the door, swinging her flashlight towards the other doors she'd seen warily. Caleb was owed a punch or two, and maybe some creative curses on top of them as well. "You are a masochist, I knew it! Why else would you be looking for me to kick your ass?" Nic laughed as she started after him again.

He'd ducked into another room without looking what was inside, and his own flashlight was off now. The space felt smaller than the one that they'd just left, and he was leaning back against the wall just inside the door. "If you're going to behave like a dominatrix, you're going to be addressed like one." He said in a playfully reasonable manner. He didn't look back out the door, he just waited to see how long it would take her to orient herself to his voice, especially with the place being as echoey, with fucked acoustics as it was.

Acoustics would've been tricky to work from alone, so as Nic swung her flashlight to reveal the hall of the basement again she opted for good old observation again. The two doors to the other side had been mostly closed, and one was definitely opened farther now. "If you want me to behave like one, I'll play ball," she warned him, clicking off her flashlight as she neared the door and holding her breath as darkness enveloped her. Nic hefted the flashlight like a club, carrying it low so she wouldn't accidentally smack him in the head as she crept into the room. She was trying to be quiet, but aside from sneaking out of her house, Nic hadn't had much practice at it yet. Still, she was giving it her all, breath held as she listened for any kind of sound that might give him away.

Caleb listened for her as well, going so far as to shut his eyes when she turned her flashlight off. It was easier, shutting out other senses and focusing in if he shut his eyes to do so. He heard the light scratch of her shoe against the floor next to him, and his own breathing had slowed and stopped as he waited. He wasn't even sure what he was going to do, he was just waiting...possibly to see what her next move was.

She wasn't even aware of how close she was, standing stock-still in the room and listening intently. Nic had no clue about how large the room was, and she slowly brought her free hand out to the side where Caleb wasn't, waving her fingers through empty air with a scowl that was lost in the dark. Opting to test her luck and trust the hairs that had raised on the back of her neck, Nic swung the flashlight out to the other side, smacking it off of Caleb's hip with a triumphant laugh that she held as she followed the swing, barreling into him with a shoulder. "Tag, asshole!"

Caleb grabbed her, using her momentum to swing them both around, which really, wasn't the best idea he'd ever had in his life, considering the building they were in, and the fact that he had no idea what the hell was even in this room. Such as metal support frames twisted out into death spikes...but he wasn't thinking about that currently. He just used the push to push her back up against the wall, and he sort of trapped her there, one palm flat to the wall right next to her head above her left shoulder, the other above the right. "We're playing tag now?" he asked, considering he recognized the need to stop there. Even if it did kick up serious urges he really needed to not be entertaining.

It all happened so fast that Nic's thoughts piled up like cars on an icy road; suddenly he was there, pinning her against the wall and so close that Nic swore she could feel his heart beating. The darkness was a good thing in that moment, hiding the burn in her cheeks as she sucked in a shaky breath. "I was," she murmured, reaching up between them to weave her fingers into a grip on the fabric of his sweatshirt, tugging him a little closer without even realizing it. "Just... one-person tag, where you're constantly It and I get to keep tagging you. With a flashlight. You don't feel like playing?" Nic asked in a soft voice, wondering what his expression looked like in that moment of closeness.

He really didn't mind being pulled in closer, even if it was possibly a really bad plan. Because seriously, was he ever not looking to get involved with anyone. Hadn't he had enough problems with women in his life? Did he really want to go and fuck up the one bright point in that equation? And yet that didn't in any fashion curb that urge to drift in closer and kiss her. That was really really high on his list of desires at the moment. In fact, it might have been topping it out. Her voice right then didn't help either, nor her grip on his shirt. Occasionally, he knew he would do a whole lot better in life if he spent slightly more time thinking before acting. And yet he didn't move. "If you're the one tagging, doesn't that make you it?" he asked, his voice lowered in response to hers.

Later, Nic would probably thank her nerves and wretched self-confidence. Later, she'd reflect on how many times Caleb had already told her of his problems with women, and decide it was the right choice to keep him from lumping her in with them. Right now? She wanted to kiss him as much as she wanted to keep breathing. She could smell him, could feel the light current of his breath against her cheek... "Well, if you want to play by rules," she murmured, leaning in so close that her nose brushed his, "Tag, sucker." Nic poked him in the ribs, letting go of Caleb's sweatshirt as she dropped lower than his outstretched arms and scrambled for where she thought the door was. The moment that closeness was broken? It was officially Later, and she was sucking in nervous breaths between rough laughter as she tumbled back out of the room.

Okay, she wasn't allowed to do that. Where she got closer, enough that all he would have had to do was turn his head enough? Yeah, that was just unfair. Whole worlds of unfair, and he growled a little as she dashed off, and he took a second to thunk his forehead against the wall where she'd just been, attempting to get his shit together before he went after her. That was really a key thing here. So, it took him a few long heartbeats before he pushed off the wall, and started after her. Of course, by the time he got into the wider space of the main hall again, she could have been anywhere. He stopped after he was a few paces out into the open, and listened.

She hadn't gotten very far in those few heartbeats, ducking out the door and veering back towards the stairs they'd headed down initially. Nic was, well, shocked. I almost... he was going to... Neither thought needed completing, she knew what had nearly happened but for her own anxiety. And while she could process it, Nic was stunned by the very idea. She was stock-still in the darkness, crouched low enough to avoid a seeking hand with her own hands clamped over her mouth, which couldn't seem to shut entirely. She was gaping at the darkness, striving to hear and to control the rushed, shocked breaths she was drawing through her nose as she wondered just where in the darkness Caleb was, and what might happen if he found her.

He shut his eyes, and listened. The only sounds he could hear were faint, and he moved, experience keeping him about as silent as he could be in the space he occupied. Which meant it was slow. He didn't drag his feet at all, so there wasn't the scratch of that on the floor, and he tracked those light, nearly not there sounds that he figured came from her. If it was something else, they were probably in trouble.

Nic wasn't sure she could trust her ears. If there was sound, it was so fleeting that it might have been her imagination, or the blood rushing in her ears. She could feel that, though it was fading, thankfully. Caleb was out there, and her mind created the idea of a silhouette, looking for her in a lean stance. Somehow, Nic didn't think it was just a game of tag. The problem was that she liked the idea. Reaching a hand out slowly in front of her, her eyes squeezed shut as the movement was just enough to shake one of the zippers on her backpack with a soft jingle.

When he heard that, he moved fast. That was more than enough to orient him to her location, and he'd been going in the right direction anyhow. So, he moved, and his foot knocked into hers, as he brushed a hand over the back of her shoulder, pulling tight on the strap of her backpack. She was down low, apparently, and he crouched down in the dark,yanking her over, off balance towards him--not something he even thought about. Much like she'd done to him, he spoke low in her ear. "Tag."

Stumbling into him, Nic gave a soft cry of surprise as her arms went into an instinctive flail. One closed on Caleb's sweatshirt as she heaved her weight back, using her backpack to keep from bowling him over entirely. When it was over and her feet felt stable beneath her? Yeah, they were close and he was murmuring that one word that actually made her shiver a little. She craned her neck in the moment after, drawing the nape of it under his nose as Nic moved to whisper in kind. "If... if there's a next time?" she murmured, her hand leaving his sweatshirt to ghost against his cheek, drawing him in lightly. "I want to see your eyes."

Caleb didn't protest anything, not when she moved, or drew him in. Even if he was thinking that was probably the better plan, he didn't put up any fight. Flat out, he didn't want to. He was still having a good time here, and while he didn't know where it might be headed, or, alternately, where it should be headed, he wasn't of a mind to stop just because he wasn't sure. "If there's a next time for what?" he asked, voice quiet, just a light little murmur.

"Whatever that was a second ago," she let slip, still close against his ear. Nic's cheeks burned in the darkness in that moment, feeling as exposed as she could ever remember. She laughed in soft embarrassment, a rush of warmth against him as Nic moved her head to face him, forehead gently curving along Caleb's to guide her in the dark. She stopped carefully, lining herself up with her nose brushing his in the side room, then leaned back to leave only that scant contact and all of its' implied closeness. "This," she reminded him in a slightly louder voice, her nose wrinkling as Nic grinned helplessly.

There was a faint little growl from him, and he nearly pulled her directly back, to just kiss her and be done with it. But he didn't. After all, he kept having to remind himself that he wasn't looking to get involved, and every time he'd done something as stupid as kiss a girl she wound up going completely crazy on him. Or he drove them there...it was a toss up. Equally possible, after all. But good goddamn he wanted to. He also almost invited her to just turn her flashlight on, and she could see his eyes all she wanted. Instead he asked the second question that rose up in the midst of the chaos in his head. "What would you be looking for?" he asked. What would she want to see in his eyes, that was probably the more accurate question, but he didn't want to put that fine a point on it. With the way he'd phrased it, she'd have at least some leeway.

Nic's smile pulled in a little; but it wasn't troubled, it was sincere. "You really want to know?" she asked rhetorically, reaching up carefully to smooth a few fingers across his hair. "I want to see you alive. I... you smile sometimes, and it's like a relief hitting you. You're all walled up a lot of the time, though. And I just wonder about it." Nic's fingers flitted over the crown of Caleb's head, toying with one corner of hair thoughtfully. "I think... when you fight? You're different, in my imagination. But I won't get to see that, if you have any say in things. And when you want something? Your eyes probably shine. So I want to see that, one way or another." She slid her hand away as Nic finished talking, ready to lean back whenever he was. Way to kill the moment, Nic, she chided silently.

He listened, and as she spoke, he was glad for the darkness. Because she hit a little close to home there, and he wasn't exactly sure what his expression would have read. Or his eyes for that matter, which she had far more interest in than he would have pegged her for. He did pull back--but not a lot. Just a little bit, to give himself that sliver more of breathing room. He didn't even necessarily consciously realize he'd done it. "I...probably wouldn't want you to see me fight." he said, confirming that for her. Because he wouldn't want her to. He would rather not let her see that part of himself, how he could get. Really, if anything would scare her, it would probably be that. Well. That and finding out that she was spending an awful lot of time with someone who had demonic blood in his veins. That would really not be a positive thing. He didn't say that she was wrong on anything, and as far as he was concerned, if things continued on the track they were now, she'd in all likelihood get what she wanted. He just didn't know if he could say that.

Even the slight break in posture confirmed Nic's doubts, but she was still grinning faintly as she reached out to tap him in the chest lightly. "Never know, I might not get the other option either," she admitted, "I did say 'if there's a next time', remember?" And unless it just happened like it nearly had? Nic wasn't sure she could handle feeling like she was adding to his problems or potential complications. "We're cool, either way," she added, reminding both him and herself. Frustration was, well... frustrating. But it might just be worth it. She still hadn't moved aside from folding her arms across bent knees, listening for what he was doing across from her.

Yeah, but you don't know how much of a tendency I have to trap girls up against walls. Caleb thought to himself. Because that was one thing he'd learned. He liked walls. In fact, he kinda just liked that whole thing, and...he wasn't really thinking about it right now, was he? NO. He wasn't. So, he finally flicked the flashlight on again, though the beam wasn't anywhere near them, it was off into the darkness, because he didn't want to kill their eyes. "We were meant to be finding a room for some reason, right?" he asked. For the food she'd brought...or something.

She chuckled softly, rising with a slight pop in both knees and reaching down to grab Caleb's arm, urging him to follow. "I thought we were just exploring, but yeah, we can find somewhere to strike camp," she said, digging out her smokes for something to fidget with. "You get whichever sandwich got smushed worse though," Nic warned as she flicked her lighter up, squinting against the first real light to focus on her in a while now.

"I do something to deserve that?" he asked, starting to walk forward, half curious what was in the room he'd happened to have done that whole trapping her up against a wall thing, but thinking maybe that wasn't the best idea ever. So he chose to start them down a hall instead, where there were more open doorways without doors, and a few with. There was that same inconsistent pattern of degradation, some things looked pretty destroyed, others looked fairly intact.

"Hm, maybe crushing them to begin with?" Nic pointed out, nodding sideways at the door where things had gotten very interesting. She followed after, not so curious about the doors on either side any more, more intent on Caleb himself. "They're both pretty crushed, so all I'm saying is that if I went to effort of making them? You're damned well going to eat one," she asserted with a smirk, staggering her steps to bump into him deliberately, then righting her path. "And it's your pick for where we end up. I chose last time..." Which, in hindsight, had been one hell of a choice.

He smirked and glanced at her as she knocked into him. "I'll eat one, squished or no." he promised, looking into a room or two as they passed, but they were a little too filled with wreckage to decide to eat in there. Then they came across one that had fairly intact cabinets set into one wall, and a counter. That and a whole lot of what used to be mattresses stacked on top of one another in one corner, but all they were by now was rusty springs. "Here's good." he decided, since the floor looked alright, plus there was the counter that was okay.

Passing her own flashlight around the room, Nic had to agree. No real random debris blocking them off, and what furnishings there were seemed like they might actually be useful. "Works for me," she agreed, shirking her backpack and setting her flashlight aside, then tugging open the zipper. Nic tugged out the folded blanket she'd brought, followed by a couple of bagged sandwiches that she tossed Caleb's way with no warning and a personal smirk. As Nic pulled out each bit she'd packed away, she began to feel more and more embarrassed by her preparations. Like the tea candles, a small bag of them that she set her lighter next to. Or the sodas that had gotten back to their refrigerated temperatures as she'd played in the orphanage. "Feel like waving flashlights at each other some more? Or should I light these mothers?" she asked over at Caleb, smirking and shaking her head at herself. Yeah, candlelight... nice mixed message, Nic.

Caleb caught what was tossed his way, though only barely--he first knocked it then had to grab it with his other hand. "Light the candles." Caleb said, because from a purely practical standpoint--they'd provide light, a smidgen of heat, and they didn't have batteries to wear down. And carrying around lit tea lights wouldn't work out, end of story. He sat down after she had the blanket set out, and he was looking around the room, vaguely trying to determine what it might have once been used for.

"Yes sir," Nic complied, snapping a flame to life and lighting several of the candles, lining the edge of the counter with them for a faint, warm illumination in the room. "Helluva lot better than these," she went on, clicking off her flashlight and moving to sit down across from Caleb. And there was a net positive; she was awake, she was having fun in spite of everything, or maybe because of it. Nic set the soda she'd brought for Caleb between them, sitting back on an outstretched palm and cracking her own open. She didn't usually drink them, but late nights demanded a source of even small bits of sugar and caffeine. "Glad you came out, y'know. Here's to trespassing in the freezing dark," she said, raising her soda in a mock-toast and tilting it back for a drink.

He took his own and held it up, smirking at her. "Salud." he said, drinking his own. Then he went about unwrapping the sandwich she'd brought for him. "I'm glad I came out too. I wasn't doing much. I never am, really. Well, unless there's things like shadows or vampires attacking the town, then I'm usually out killing things but that's not the point." he decided.

And although Nic knew that seeing him in that sort of moment wouldn't be anywhere as cool and detached as she imagined it, some part of her still wanted to see him in action. He'd have a machete in hand, she decided, maybe a thin sheen of blood from surface wounds, but nothing life-threatening. Nic just couldn't visualize someone like him, the only person she knew who fought the horrors she'd yet to actually see, dying in a fight. "Good thing, that. I'm going to have even less to do once the snows really hit and I can't even skate a little. I don't ski or anything, that shit's just gay," she told him, smirking before another drink of soda, then setting her drink down to unwrap her own sandwich.

"So does that mean that you're automatically signing me up for the 'Keep Nic Entertained' campaign?" he asked, not really adverse to that kind of idea. Really, that seemed all good to him. Though he was pretty well aware of the fact that he probably needed to decide what the fuck he was playing at with her. Wouldn't really do to not have that figured out when there were things like the urge to shove her against walls and kiss her going on.

"Unless you want to complain, yeah," Nic told him, "In which case there's an 800 number you can call to complain. Not that I ever check it." She winked in the lowlight, legs crossing as Nic settled in and took the first bite of her sandwich. They were simple things, but she wasn't a girl with complicated tastes. Loud music, gory movies, cheap beers... Rough flirting. That last bit made her pause mid-chew and have to concentrate on swallowing before Nic looked back to Caleb. "It's not a bad campaign, though. I think you mentioned fucked up videogames? And my mom keeps plenty of frozen pizza in stock, so I can feed you in exchange, skinny boy."

"There are many fucked up video games to catch you up on.That's a whole world that you'd appreciate greatly that it's a damn shame you haven't at all been exposed to. So, I'll just have to remedy it, to right the universe again. It's important work. A shitty job, but I try." he said, flashing a grin at her. "I'll join the campaign. Seems a valid expenditure of my time and all, and hey. The feeding me thing is good. I sort of forget about that a lot."

"I can tell," she teased, swapping sandwich for soda. "You're stronger than you look, at least. Last time someone tried to haul me around like you did, they ended up on the damn floor." Of course, those had been very different circumstances, and this time Nic had actually liked the treatment instead of resisting it. "And who knew you were so noble? All concerned with the universe, or at least my weird little slice of it." Nic winked his way again, reclaiming her sandwich and finishing the last few bites without much fuss. She was an efficient eater; there were always more important or enjoyable things to do, after all.

Caleb finished off his own in short order too. Most of the time he didn't realize he was hungry until he started eating, then it was just done and gone in no time. "That's me. Noble." he said, sarcasm heavy in his tone. "Though that description would be a lot better if I say, cared about the rest of the world, and not just the part of yours I can help correct. I'm definitely not the hero type." Which he really hoped Nic didn't mistake him for at any point. That would lead to trouble. He wasn't that guy, end of story. Even if people seemed to continually want to cast him as such in their heads.

She chuckled at the observation, fishing out her cigarettes to light one up with another small splash of firelight joining the meager candles briefly. "I think we've been over that, yeah," she agreed with a nod and drag. "If you were? I'd be surprised. You're the guy who does what needs doing. Got a touch as delicate as a sledgehammer, yeah?" She was pleased on some level at how he wolfed down the sandwich. If Nic could get him to eat regularly, it'd be a small bit of aid to tack onto acting as a sounding board when Caleb needed advice. And for all her solitary instincts, that idea seemed okay.

He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Sorry. I think lately...people just keep wanting to see me like that and all it's doing is making everything worse. On a fairly huge scale, even. I don't like even the sort of outside association. If there's anything out there with a shit ton of pressure attached, it's that." he said. Which was true. And there was that false assumption part. Just because he did what he had to, that didn't mean he carried all the other qualities the heroic had. He wasn't a stand up guy, he wasn't some emotionally fluffy individual just looking for some damsel to sweep off her feet. Hell, he wasn't even very nice.

"Well..." Nic trailed thoughtfully, exhaling smoke and tugging at the blanket with her free hand, "I'm not saying I see you like that, okay? But maybe some people, your ex or that girl Rose, maybe they just see something you don't. I see someone I like, someone I can relate to, who doesn't care that I'm a bitch who feeds on the sound of children crying. I see enough that I want to see more, and I don't think I'll be disappointed with whatever there is." She smirked again, tracing a circle with her cigarette in the air, watching the embers glow. "But back when I used to actually read? Y'know, the myths and all, Arachne and that shit? The main thing in all those stories, with all those heroes, was that they inspired people. Jason got a woman to murder her children and then dumped her, because he inspired her so much. His men followed him to ridiculous deaths for the same reason. So maybe that's your problem, you inspire them on some level."

He listened to her, trying to narrow his focus in on that take, and not get distracted by what she said about her own personal point of view, and how she wanted to get to know him better. And apparently she didn't figure that beneath the surface there would be something she didn't like. He wasn't so sure about that, but he wasn't dwelling right now. Instead he listened to what she said about the inspiration front. "Mostly, what I get under the impression of is just...they see me as capable. Strong, or whatever, and they want me to take care of them. Maybe not necessarily Leija so much anymore...I'm kind of slowly getting a different idea of what she is about, but it used to be that. She just...latched on after a certain point, and that was it. Til everything crashed and burned. And Rose...I don't know. After talking to both of them, I just...ever hit the end of the line, and just know it is?" he asked, kind of abruptly cutting into his own line of thought.

She could understand that, how people would see him in that light. They'd take the cynicism and the emotional walls as necessary things to be some kind of hero, but believe there was a pureness underneath. At least, Rose sounded like she might, based on what Nic had heard about her. "Depends on what sort of line you're talking about, but yeah. I think I have," she told him, her voice growing softer at the end there as Nic sat forward a little, drawing herself in with her arms crossing in her lap. "It's not a fun place to be..."

He shook his head. "No, it's not." Caleb said. He sighed, and dragged his fingers through his hair. "I hit it, and I'm not sure what to do about it." he said. "I think maybe I would have been alright if I wasn't getting hit from both sides with Rose and Leija all at once, but with them both...I just sort of..." he made a vague gesture. "And neither one of them want it. hell, when I was talking to Rose, she disturbed the living fucking shit out of me. Like she was saying things along the lines of she'd do anything so that I didn't go away, shit like that. Which...I don't even know how to begin to deal with. She's a kind of fragile girl who's insanely high maintenance, at least for someone like me. Probably not to other people. But for me? Yeah. And she still wants to cling. I even told her that I'd still be around if she ever needed anything, but she didn't like that plan. Same for Leija. She mentioned when I was talking to her something about...like it having been days since I'd contacted her. And I didn't know I was on some imaginary time limit. I think for her, she still wants to see me every day and maybe twitches if we don't, and the longer it goes the more edgy she gets, where for me--I've got her to deal with, yes, but I've got everything else too. I have Rose and her issues, and I have school, and sometimes I like being able to just do something on my own, or something I know isn't going to cause me stress. Like...hanging out with you." he said. "I don't know. She seems to have given me the space I'm going to need, but it also to me seems like...I don't know. I'll still be being timed. So now I've got that pressure on my head. And bottom line? I make them both miserable for one reason or another, I don't see why I should keep doing that. I hate doing that. It's not like I get off on making them cry, y'know? I don't. But it seems to happen every time." He paused. "And that was my ramble for this evening."

Nic gave a soft series of claps as he finished, sticking her tongue out. It was filler, but she needed it because damn but that was a lot to mull over before replying. "So... the bottom line is that you, your presence, keeps them from falling apart?" Nic asked thoughtfully, shaking her head. "That's pressure, for sure. And like you said, you're not the hero type. But if they decided you are, it sounds like you have to make a decision." She paused to lean back, stretching out languidly and stubbing her cigarette past the edge of the blanket. "You could push yourself too far, decide you can't hold them up any more? And from what you've said, it'd get bad for them, but you might reach a point where you can't take it any more, no matter what happens to them. Or you could just keep going like you are; feeling like you're messing up but making them feel okay just because you're there. And neither of those options helps them deal with their problems, because I don't know them. I just know you. So... I'd pick option two, but tack on an addendum. When you feel like you're holding them up or carrying them? Pick up your phone, fool. Let me help you, even if it's just venting. I like your little rants, y'know." And going unspoken in all of that? Yeah, hanging out with her was his non-stress, and that was a point of pride.

he laughed a short bit. "I just did vent." he pointed out. "And I don't know. Right now it's all just..." he paused trying to find a word. "Depressing." Yeah that fit. He sighed and laid out on the blanket, propping his head on his arm. "I'm having a lot of trouble trying to figure out the motivation of deciding to keep latched onto someone who makes you miserable all the time." he said. "I keep trying to? but can't quite get it. You got any theories there?"

She laughed with him, surprised by how the evening had softened her usual vitriol down to just the occasional barb thrown Caleb's way. "Familiarity?" Nic suggested, shrugging a shoulder. "For Rose, you said you're like the only person she knows here, yeah? So maybe she's too fucked up from what happened to try meeting new people, and she's clinging to the one person she knows." The other shoulder followed the first in a shrug as Nic eyed him, laid out on the blanket across from her. As comfy as he looked, now was nowhere near the time to be thinking about following suit. "With Leija? I don't know what you two went through, I won't pretend to know. But maybe? Maybe the good parts were good enough to outweigh the bad, and she's willing to tough it out for a chance at the good again." Yeah, good Nic. Give relationship advice while you're staring at him.

"I kind of touched on that. Like, I asked her if she'd ever considered that this was it. How things were going to be for the duration. She said she didn't think so. I don't know. I know when things were good, they were great, but we haven't had any of that since we started talking again since the break up in the first place. So...I have no idea where things stand or where they'll even wind up. If there is anything left. I know if she ever needed me I'd be there in a heartbeat, but...I just don't know on the every day shit." Caleb said as he ghosted his gaze along the ceiling, then back to here where it settled.

"Well, I think the every day shit is going to be the crucial part," Nic admitted with a faint smile, now more curious about what Leija was like, what she'd think of actually meeting her. "If she needs you there to keep things stable, the ball's in your court. Maybe she'll eventually give you time? But she still sounds pretty hooked on you." It wasn't really advice, because Nic had never been there herself. She'd never been the center of someone's universe, and couldn't really imagine herself in that role. Which gave her some sympathy; somehow she didn't think Caleb had ever thought he'd be there either. "I think you're doing the best you can, Caleb. You're not cut out for this, but you're not a quitter either. So just... see it through to whatever end there is. Come get drunk with me on bad nights, and maybe one day I might even help figure something out."

he quirked a light half smile at her. "Thanks." he said. "I think that's all I can do. I just...sort of hope I have the patience for it. I feel like I need to just stop, but I don't think that's an actual option for me. And even if I could, it's not like I don't care. I'm just not built for what they want me for."

She sighed, shaking her head at that, though she didn't disagree with him. "Are any of us?" Nic asked, reaching up for a braid she'd shaken from behind her ear and toying with it. "I mean, have you ever met the clean cut hero? Or the outright damsel in distress? Or even the moustache-twirling villain? I haven't. Because those ideas, they're flat. They're not sustainable concepts for a real person. Anyone who seems like that is just a damn good liar, if you ask me. Everyone's got flaws, some kind of damage that they hide or show. If they didn't? Hell, I'd get bored fast."

"I don't expect anyone to be like that. I just...think that people expect it from me for some reason. Like I show a little bit of a tendency towards something and then I've suddenly got this...ideal I can't live up to." Caleb said, tone thoughtful. "And people keep telling me that I'm supposedly better than I give myself credit for, but at the same time, I think their opinion is like that just because they don't know where the shadows are in me. Either that or they just don't want to see them so they don't."

That made Nic smirk as she planted both hands, scooting a little closer so she wouldn't miss anything from the softer tones they were using. "I remember, back in Green Bay? My mom yelling at me the first time I got into a fight at school. I think I told you about it: me, football player, dictionary to his face? Well, she tore into me when the school called her. And I remember her saying 'Nicole, you're better than that'. And it's trivial next to this and what you've got, but it sorta lines up." She twisted the braid, chewing the end of it thoughtfully for a moment and glancing back down at him. "Because I knew I wasn't. I didn't know shit about myself, but I knew that. And I think she wanted to believe that even the days when she found me weren't there any more, that there weren't any shadows. Most people don't want to see them, because then they have to wonder about their own."

He looked at her, watching the way the candle light flickered, and sent little shadows across her features. "So what are your shadows like?" he asked, voice quieter than it had been, possibly in reaction to her being that little bit closer, possibly due to the subject matter. Either way, it happened, and his eyes were locked onto her face, watching her eyes.

Her gaze strayed down from Caleb's face, settling on the blanket running just in front of him as her fingers twisted the braid tight. "Mine?" she repeated in a low murmur, "Jealousy. Envy. Wrath. Not just... talking shit or starting a scrap. I hate them, out there... No one knows what it's like to not know, Caleb. To-- to go back to where someone found you, to just stand there and listen, stare at the sky, and it's as blank and empty as everything else. I think I dream about it sometimes, about whatever there was before." There, the confession was finally out there, but she still couldn't quite look up. "And I wake up, and it's gone and I just want to cry... it's like starting over again and again."

He of course noticed her lack of eye contact, and just kept watching her, listening to everything she had to say. "How often do you dream about it?" he asked. He knew about nightmares. Inf act, for the first week or so after having been brought to the demon bar, he tried to avoid sleep as much as possible. He slept a little more now, but still not back to normal, and he had a lot of nightmares. It was just sort of par for the course, really. Something that was a part of him that wasn't going to go away.

She looked up when he asked that, determined not to wallow in self-pity over the fucked up parts of her head. At least not right now; that was what Wednesdays were for. "At least once a week, the dreams get bad. I just... feel like shit the next day. Sometimes I have other weird shit? But I remember it, and it's stuff I actually get. This... whatever it is, it's gone when I open my eyes." She was leaving things out; the screaming that had woken her mother before, the spikes in brain activity that a sleep study had documented, and mainly the fact that the dreams? They were coming tonight, if the last three years were any kind of schedule to go by. "What about yours?" Nic redirected with a curious smile, wanting to reach out for him again. "I think I've seen some, so spill. Let's see if I'm right."

"My shadows?" he asked. He paused, trying to think about what he could tell her, and what he couldn't. "...there's a lot of damage." he told her first, because it was the first thing that drifted up from the depths of the back of his mind on the subject. "For me? I know I'm...pretty much fucked. Cracked in a lot of places. I'm not..." he paused, trying to think of the word. "...right in a lot of ways." he said, landing on that, because it was the closest to the truth. "And sometimes I can see it, really, really clearly, and other times I can't, I'm just aware it's there. I know I have a lot of darker tendencies. And a lot of times I feel like there are parts of me that are just...missing." Or he knew there were. Certain fundamental pieces of humanity that were absent in his mindframe.

Nic listened to what he was saying, wondering about everything he wasn't, and how he danced around a lot of it. They'd touched on some of this before; his willingness to fight whatever was out there, the cold he felt towards people like Chrissy, the way he felt like he could only damage people. So why can't he say it? she wondered, trying to imagine what else there could be. "You're not the only one with things missing," she reminded him with a small, heartfelt smile. "For all I know, I was a pre-teen serial killer in my last life. But you know what's there and what's not." Swallowing her own anxiety, Nic reached out to smooth a finger across Caleb's brow for an instant. "All I know is that when I see you swallowing your words, you look strained. So... let me do you a favor, and decide if you want to do one in kind. If not? No harm, no foul."

She withdrew her hand, legs unfolding as Nic stood and moved to the counter, gently claiming one of the candles and puffing out the others with short bursts of breath. She moved back to sit near him, hissing softly at the burn of wax on her hand as she settled in. "No shadows when it's pitch black, right?" she asked him, balancing the meager light in her palm. "So just... say them if you want. Or don't. I just think you've earned the chance." She reached out her free hand for one of his, giving it a light squeeze before she blew on the flame, dropping them back into the dark.

He didn't stop her when she reached out to touch him, and his gaze followed her as she moved, got the candle, and settled them back into the dark. He didn't mind that so much. In fact, it was kind of nice. He let his eyes slip shut at it, anyhow, and tried to think of what to say. "Even if you were a serial killer before you woke up in this life, it doesn't play into who you are now. You got the reset button hit. You can start over. Choose to be whoever you want to be. And really, I like who you are. With me, it's...different. There are things about me I can't escape no matter what, and I've got my own blank spots to deal with. They're there with the vague understanding of what probably happened, and...there are things about me I can't tell you." he said. "Not that I don't want to. But I just can't."

"And I won't push you to," Nic told him, focusing on the hazy afterimage of him that the light left in her eyes. It was a rainbow fuzz, stretched and elongated, shimmering in the darkness where she knew he was stretched out. "If you can, I'll listen. If you can't, you're still you. Which just happens to be my second-favorite person right now, in the top three," she added, her smile audible in her tone. "But if you ask me? Don't try to escape those things. I could be wrong, but you might miss them when they're gone." Of course, being a half-demon, she was probably wrong there. But to Nic, whatever those parts were? They added up into the person she was with, and that was a good thing. Without any indicator that she was doing so, Nic stretched to set the candle aside and slowly stretched out, lounging parallel with Caleb and tucking an elbow under her as the last afterimages faded from her eyes.

He didn't say anything as she laid out next to him, and he didn't mind that. He did roll his head to the side in her direction, listening to her breathing for a few long moments. "I couldn't escape them even if I wanted to. I suppose sometimes I've tried to go around, but...that doesn't work. I'm still kind of figuring it all out, regardless. Not everything's so cut and dried. Especially with me. I just...don't know sometimes. Where the lines are or where they should be. If the parts of me I know are damaged actually help me out now and then because it means when things go into severely fucked up land, I can deal with it really well. ...shit like that doesn't give me much pause. Like the vampires in town." He'd had fun when they were around, going out with Math, killing them off. He reveled in the fight. What he couldn't deal with was the shit he'd seen in the demon bar. But they were on different levels, too. And of, course, one was far too closely related to do anything but fuck with his head.

Of course she didn't get the full implications of what he was saying, but Nic had seen little bits of the darker side Caleb carried with him. Even her guesses didn't convey the full horror of what 'd seen, but she was trying to imagine it. "Maybe that's what the people around you do," she suggested, thinking of his problem with Rose and Leija, how they held him in a light that he couldn't see. Because of all his shadows. She liked that thought, but it was a private one. "They're a counterweight... an extreme to balance out the other end up the spectrum; the one that makes you flinch and leaves you with more scars than cigarettes I've smoked." She guessed that at least, based on the forearm she'd helped stitch up. "If you don't know where the lines should be? You can always ask someone else to point them out."

Caleb was quiet as he let that sink in, and wasn't sure whether he thought she was right or not. In the end it didn't matter, it was a perspective to take into account. "Where do you see the lines?" he asked, wondering what she would have to say there. He didn't correct her on the assessment of how many scars he had. She was right.

"Depends on which ones you mean," she answered in a vague, soft murmur, shifting near-soundlessly on the blanket. "In general? I think they need to be pushed further than most people go. Knowing even the bit you've told me,we need that. And even if things were sane, people suck. We both know that. So being willing to cross a line that's shorter for them? It keeps them from trying to fuck over the rest of us." She knew her own were a little more stretched than most of the mundane world, and thusfar Nic thought she was doing okay. "You haven't crossed any of mine yet, Lockwood," she told him with a teasing edge.

He gave a light half laugh. "Well, that's good to know." he said. "Though, I don't know how what you just said applies to me, even. And it seems like you said more how they add up with in society or to society and your average person, and not necessarily to me. So...try again. Where do you see the lines?" he asked.

She smirked in the darkness at the sound of his laughter, shaking her head a little and feeling the braid drape across one cheek. "So where do I see your lines?" she reiterated with a chuckle of her own. "Very different question there. I think... they're mixed up. They overlap and it confuses the hell out of you, based on what you've told me." She wanted to be closer? But at the same time, Nic wasn't sure what might happen if she was. "You've got a wide berth for things that would make most people flinch, but with little things? Talking to people, being honest about you, going after what you want and not regretting it? I think your toe is constantly on the line, and it spooks you."

"There's a lot of me that feels separate." Caleb explained. "Other. Like...talking to people is difficult for me because I have to try and pretend to care about...whatever the fuck it is they're finding direly important when it's just so much bullshit. And I have to talk around everything, which also sucks and doesn't lend to being close to anyone. Plus I'm paralyzed by not caring very much in general. And being honest about me, well. That's a whole other world of fucked up. Most people wouldn't want to know and those who do wouldn't like the answer. So, I'm stuck with this pattern, I suppose. I have people I like, and would like to trust, but there's always going to be something in the way."

"Sounds lonely," Nic murmured with a soft sigh, "And that's from a girl who likes having people scared to talk to her." She wanted to know, of course, but Nic believed him too. After everything they'd shared, it had to be something fucked up for him to keep it secret still. "But I get some of it? Not caring, at least. Maybe for different reasons, but I think we match there at least. Don't feel like you've gotta pretend for me, at least. I dig the misanthropic thing." She snickered with that, sighing again a moment later. "And it sounds like I was actually pretty close, huh?"

"Probably." Caleb conceded. "And I don't feel a lot like I've got to pretend for you. Generally speaking we just sort of feel..." he paused, trying to come up with a word that didn't sound too stupid. In his head, most things did, and he didn't want it to come off wrong. "On the same level." he landed on. Not like he and Leija were. Or had been at one point. That had had a lot to do with them both being something else, having to deal with that alienation of knowing it and not feeling like everyone else did. With Nic, it felt much more intellectual. They were on the same page mentally, at the very least. Possibly emotionally.

If she could read his mind, she would've liked that comparison. As it was, she still liked what she heard. "I'm glad," Nic told him, nodding even if he couldn't see it. "I might notice if you were faking. There'd be consequences." As hollow as all her other threats, but Nic was starting to think that even that aspect of things was a small comfort to both of them. It was a little piece of familiarity, and the stripped-down approach to casual violence was definitely common ground.

"I don't know you were the one who told me I was a good liar, remember?" Caleb asked, light undercurrent of a playful note in his tone. He almost reached out to prod her for good measure, but at the last second decided that that might not be the best idea he'd ever had. So he curbed it, but he was aware of her there. Very aware of her.

"But I noticed that you were a good liar," Nic countered, grinning wider than she usually would with lights on and stretching to give Caleb a light kick in what she thought was his shin. "Maybe, just maybe you're good enough to fool me. But you run the risk of eating through a tube, shitting in a bag, and cruising in a wheelchair if I catch you," she went on, deciding there was more humor than harm to be had in defining 'consequences' for him.

He laughed a bit. "Hey. No abusing me." he said. "I already let you cut me, for your knife, now you're going to kick me too?" he asked. "Hardly seems fair. I didn't even deserve it that time." he assessed, sounding amused. "And all that, just for being untruthful? Good to know, I'll keep that in mind." he said. Then he was quiet for a few long heartbeats. "I may edit the things I can't tell you out of what I say to you, Nic, but I'll try not to outright lie."

"Poor baby," Nic cooed at him as Caleb laughed. "If I could see, I'd make the 'kiss it better' offer again." That got weird before. Good weird, but weird. "Maybe I'm overthreatening? But I like to edge out the competition, y'know? It's all about results." She grinned again at his concession he saved for last, nodding for her own sake again. "I appreciate that, though. If it's not on the list of unspeakable things, just... lay it on me. And maybe run, if it's bad enough to piss me off."

"I don't accept any kisses to make things better unless there's blood involved." Caleb said without thinking, and the second after it was out there he was really thinking he shouldn't have said that. Yeah that was just not something normal people said to one another, now was it. Fuck. Well, hopefully Nic was just abnormal enough not to be freaked out by that statement, or possibly think he was kidding. "It's not really pissing you off that concerns me." he said. It's scaring you off. There's a difference.

She laughed richly at the last part, her gaze fixed on the soft source of his voice. "And here I put so much work into my menace, only to have it ruined," she told him, deciding that part needed a response first. "As for blood? That could be arranged," Nic went on, slipping her free hand back into her hoodie to feel the knife there. Her tone was playful enough, but his words had sent her back over their time here, to him asking what she'd do if he did want her to kiss a wound and make it better.

He was thoughtfully quiet for a moment. "So." he said. "Let me get this straight. That could be arranged. So, are you saying that you'd make me bleed, so you could kiss it better?" he asked, just waiting to get hit for that. Because he was fairly positive she would. Well. After the hardcore flailing she did, because he figured she'd be doing that first and formost.

Surprisingly, in the dark Nic didn't need to flail quite as much. Sure, there was a definite twitch; the feeling of the blanket tugging under Caleb as Nic's feet scrambled against it. But by and large? She kept her shit together. But she hit him too. Nic took a shot in the dark, punching out lightly at what she hoped would be Caleb's arm or side. "Dick," she murmured with an irrepressible smile, "I'm saying that you have no problem shedding a few drops. I have no problem beating on you. If the two coincide and you hit my guilt buttons? Sure, I'll make it better." Do NOT call my bluff.

He laughed when she hit him, and he very nearly reached out to catch her wrist, and yank her in closer, but in the end didn't. "I know you have no problem beating on me, it seems to be a favorite passtime of yours, Mistress." he teased, waiting for the retaliation on that score too. Because now that they'd had their minor delve into serious topics, he wanted to ease the tension, send them back into more positive frames of mind. Plus it was just fun for him.

Yeah, that got another punch, this one delivered a little stronger as Nic propped herself up to lean into it. "God, if I give you some proper dominatrix behavior will you knock off the mistress shit?" she asked plaintively as she smacked him. Maybe he liked it; he'd confessed to minor submissive tendencies, after all. But it was more likely that he just liked riling her up. Which was good, since Nic didn't go in for dominant behavior. Aggressive, sure, but she wasn't the sort to want all the power. "Seriously? I'll buy you a damn zipperface mask if that's what you're into."

"So, you've looked into the subject and know proper dominatrix behavior then." Caleb said as he grinned, sounding far too amused with the entire situation. "And no. I'm not actually that much of a submissive in general." he told her. "That's for the truly fucked in the head. I'm just a little fucked in the head. So...nope. Sorry that won't do it for me. You'll have to find something else." he teased.

"So I shouldn't pin you down right now, got it," Nic countered, fighting the furious blush she felt and just going with it. If Caleb wanted to mess with her? She could mess back, just as long as she was hidden from sight. And she knew it wasn't just her who'd been flustered by the close moment earlier. Just the memory of his little, frustrated growl brought that back. "And no, I don't know most of it, but I could fake it. Unless you're big on that stuff. I couldn't focus with you giving me pointers," she teased with a laugh, envisioning that scenario.

He heard the echo of her laugh, reminding him of the huge space the occupied. The room, mostly empty, and beyond that the basement that was god knew how huge. On top of that the building that loomed over all the buildings near it. They were really far away from everyone and everything, currently. "There's a difference between being pinned down and going in for a mask..." Caleb said, deliberately trailing that off in a thoughtful tone, just to keep on teasing her with it all. Well, that and he didn't necessarily mind that idea. There were far worse ideas he'd heard in his time, really.

The removed feeling was what Nic had been going for; it was why her headphones were nearly a constant as well. She liked to be separated from the town she never quite meshed with, and the echoing silence of this place was a pure form of that. "Oh, there's a difference?" she echoed playfully, "See, I don't know all this stuff like some people do." Of course, his not-quite objection to the idea made her squirm, her hands knotting up in their pockets to keep from hitting him again. "You're lucky, y'know. Too dark for me to keep swinging, I might hit the face or the crotch. Who knows? That could actually make me feel bad."

"You'd have to swing pretty damn wildly to get a crotch-shot in." Caleb pointed out. "Now managing to give me a black eye? That I could see a whole lot more, but the other you'd have to be actively trying for." he said. That, to combat the urge to pin her down. That was a bad idea. Yep. Bad plan. Even if it sounded really good in his head. "Mostly I'd start worrying about you hurting your hand, as you keep hitting me. It does seem to be your favorite thing to do and everything. But yes...there's a difference."

"Well, I have two of them," Nic reminded him, shifting her weight to her other palm just to reach out and prod Caleb with her unused hand. "I could just switch it up, take some boxing lessons, and we'd all win," she teased as she felt the questing finger poke what felt like a shoulder. "But it really is turning into a favorite pasttime for me," Nic agreed, chuckling at the topic itself. "What can I say? You're an enjoyable punching bag."

He reached up, snagging her wrist. He didn't do anything with it, even if he knew exactly what he wanted to do. He just held onto it, thumb against her pulsepoint, just to see what her heart was doing around now. "Well, i don't complain about it, anyways." he said. "And I keep provoking you, so I suppose it's only natural that you like to do it." he mused. He was still thinking about the differences between pinning someone and the mask thing, but was trying to get the mental imagery of pinning Nic down out of his head.

There were plenty of things in the situation that were only natural, like the way her heart rate definitely sped up when he grabbed her wrist. "Hell, you provoke me enough that I just figured you liked it too," she murmured after a moment, resisting the instinct to tug her hand away from him. That was a panic impulse, and while Nic was definitely panicked? She didn't think she wanted to come to the edge twice, just to turn away both times. "S'why I'm no mistress... you want a little physicality when we hang out." She thought she did too, but right now thoughts like that tended to induce flailing arms. And with his hand on her wrist? Well, Nic didn't want to flail.

"I've decided I like a girl who isn't afraid to throw a punch." Caleb said. Which was true. It was just entertaining, playful. He enjoyed it. "And technically...whoever a dominatrix is beating on wants it too. Not to get too technical on you or anything, but it's the submissive who's got all the power." he said, still monitoring her pulse, which he thought was just a bit kicked up. He couldn't be positive it wasn't his imagination, but he thought it was threading along a little faster at least.

She could feel a steady increase build the longer he held on, and if he was doing what she figured he was? He was trying for that effect. Dick. "So if you're a little submissive, does that mean you have a little power?" she asked in a faux-curious, all too innocent voice that sounded like Nic would've been batting her eyelashes if the lights were on. "And just a girl who isn't afraid to? Or a girl who likes throwing punches?" she added with the same gentility in her voice, relaxing her hand to let it hang easy and somewhat-delicate in his grip.

Caleb went against his better judgment, and lightly traced his fingers back and forth along her wrist with his other hand. "Maybe both." he said. "And in this specific case? No, not really. The reason the submissive has all the power is because they're the ones who can say 'stop' at any time, and it all stops. That's just the way it works. Things only go on so long as they let it. So...they've got all the power. You just hit me whenever you feel like it." he pointed out, though he sounded far too amused by all of this, which he was. Plus, he liked that tone in her voice.

"Sure, take all the fun out of it for me," Nic protested in the poutiest voice she could muster, giving it up quickly. It didn't suit her. She wasn't that kind of girl, but she was the kind who could turn the tables. Twisting her posture around, Nic reached her free hand up to grab at Caleb's as it teased her wrist. That sort of touch was giving her shivers faster than the cold, and she had to stop him before she could speak without being all breathy at Caleb. She was quick to slide her fingers through his, thumb sliding down across his palm to feel for the tiny scab that would've been left behind after she'd cut him earlier. "If I do, you'll just drag it up later like you did with this," she taunted, hooking her thumb to dig the nail in just below the cut.

He smirked at that, then drew in a light little breath when she dug her nail in. He didn't stop her at all, and wondered if she would open it back up, just on principal, and because he was letting her. "Yeah but I wasn't complaining when I brought it back up." Caleb pointed out, almost starting to lose the thread of the conversation because his concentration was so much more focused on her as opposed to what they were talking about. Where she was, what he could hear...the little things.

"No, no you weren't," Nic agreed, not really interested in reopening the tiny cut. Instead she scraped her nail over the edge of his palm and down his wrist a bit, just under the cuff of his sweatshirt. "I think... I think you were just trying to get a rise out of me," she mused out loud in a soft, distracted voice, fascinated by the little gasp she'd gotten from Caleb. "It's like your version of me hitting you. You're just more subtle than I am, which is easy." Except now she thought she might be getting a rise out of him, and she could see the appeal in flustering someone like this. Smiling wickedly in the dark for a moment, Nic started a slow return of her nail back up his wrist.

Caleb was feeling far too aware of her nails at this point. And yet, that's where the focus was. He'd half been wondering if she was going to mess with the stitched wound on his arm. The stitches themselves...anything else. But then she didn't, and he felt the line she traced up keenly. "It's easy to get a rise out of you. And you're so entertaining when I manage." he pointed out. "I can't not take the opportunity." he told her, sounding perfectly reasonable. But again, his focus? Not really on their conversation.

She knew the stitches were down there, but that was a little farther than Nic was ready to go in such a short time since the injury. "I think..." she murred as she twisted her thumb up and across his palm, finally looping it through the curve of Caleb's and starting to withdraw her hand with a teasing slowness, "...that you have more self control than you admit to." Yeah, it was a loaded statement, almost challenging even. There was practically a raised eyebrow in the words, visible in the darkness with a wry grin that framed their current predicament.

He had to debate if he was going to snatch her hand back again. He wanted to, but didn't, just because they were already over the line of acceptable conversation and everything, so...he didn't want to push it. Not just yet anyways. Or more, he did want to push it, he just wasn't going to. There was that whole not wanting to get involved thing in the back of his mind he had to remember. "Alright, I'll concede that point. I have a lot of self control." he agreed. Then, as an afterthought, the statement's tone light, like a throwaway statement that wouldn't get her thinking, he added something. "Maybe I just like to be pushed far enough to find where the edges are."

She took her hand back, a little surprised by how both of them were maintaining the tenuous control they'd shown just down the hall from here. Maybe it was just her fighting for it, and he wasn't batting an eye. But even if he could maintain? Hell, because he could maintain, Nic would try a little of the provocation he liked to use so often. She knelt closer, gathering her legs and supporting herself with her free hand as if readying herself to stand, then leaned in close. The darkness made it really close, she thought she could even feel a little hair tickle her cheek. "I think you like to go right past the edge, and see where it was while you're dropping clear," she whispered, slowly pulling her held wrist back towards her as she curled her legs and started to stand.

There was an exhale of a laugh, and he remained where he was. Mostly because he really, really wanted to pull her back. Hell, when she'd leaned in close like that, he'd turned his face in towards her more. He had to smile though, a smirk on his features in the dark as she started to stand up. Which made him want to snatch her wrist again and pull her back down. However if he did that? He'd have to have some purpose behind it. some move that followed. And all the ones that came to mind were unacceptable at this point. Grr. "Can't argue with you there..." he murmured.

"Then don't," Nic told him simply, bumping her forehead against his and finally standing up. She could've stayed right there, just egging him on until Caleb took the strain of making a move off of her shoulders. But... she shouldn't. They were friends, he trusted her with his problems, he had an ex he was still figuring out, the list just went on and on with reasons why she'd done the right thing. But they didn't make it less frustrating, no sir. And the alternative definitely didn't get less appealing. Shutting her eyes and taking a deep breath to compose herself, Nic flicked her lighter to life, seeking out a candle and lighting the others from the first, gradually bleeding light back into the room. "We should probably start getting out, though," she advised with obvious loathing for the idea, "I need to be there when my mom wakes up so I can con her into calling me out of classes."

He watched her as she lit the candles, staying where he was for the moment. He did have to admit that the cold had started to sink into his bones. He was feeling that level of cold that was reserved for when you'd really overdone it, when you weren't going to be warm again for a while. Not that he really cared right now. He was too distracted to care. "Yeah...we should." he agreed, yet made no move to get up or anything.

Looking down at him, Nic smirked warmly with her eyes shadowed by the light burning behind her. He looked far more vulnerable than she knew he was down there, stretched out and looking her way with an intensity in his eyes that was flat-out captivating. "Aww, poor boy," she cooed down at him, walking back to the blanket and crouching, then offering Caleb her hand again. "You look so comfy down there. Do I need to swaddle you up in the blanket and carry you home? Stuff you through your window?" she teased, giving him a playful wink and offering her hand to help him up.

"I've crashed out in less comfortable places." Caleb told her, taking her hand and getting himself back to his feet. "But I'm pretty sure I've never been swaddled up in a blanket and carried anywhere." he told her. "So, y'know, I might as well not break such a long standing record. Think I'll just opt for walking home and everything. Well. After I walk you home." Since that would be going on.

"Surprise, surprise," Nic grumbled as she hefted him up, then dropped down to gather the blanket in her arms. "One of these days I'll convince you to try things the other way. I see you safely to your window and wander off all cool and stoic," she teased with a wink over her shoulder, turning her back on Caleb as Nic matched corners of the blanket, sloppily folding it enough to pack it away again. "But knowing you, I'd end up sitting around talking with you until it was dawn and you weren't worried any more."

"Probably." he agreed, watching her. He started to look around for things he could help with but there wasn't much, so his attention went back to settle on her. "So is that what I do?" he asked, amused sounding and there was the ghost of a smirk on his lips. "I wander off all cool and stoic?" It was always interesting to see how other people viewed you. Even if it was overstated.

"Something like that, yeah," Nic answered as she shoved the blanket away, zipping her backpack shut and shouldering it. The candles could stay for any other explorers to use, or in case she and Caleb ever came back. She turned to face him, wandering over to stand somewhat close with a smirk lingering on her lips. "You're sorta... dryly amused. Normally a little relaxed, which I like to see. But you fall right back in step with how you were when I saw you at the start of the night. So c'mon," she told him, slipping around Caleb to move for the door as she clicked her flashlight back on, "I wanna see if tradition holds true tonight."

He shook his head, and followed, grabbing his own flashlight off the counter as he passed, though he let her light the way. Seemed the way to go, in a lot of different respects, and he was one who liked a little symbolism in his life.

Ducking right out with her flashlight raised high, Nic started an easy shot back to the stairs leading out. "I'd be cool with coming back here sometime if you feel like it," she told him as they walked, slowing to flick her light into the room Caleb had hidden in. Nic stopped, moving up to the doorway to peer inside with a quick glance aimed back at him. "Never really got a good look in here," she said as she lingered briefly, planning on catching up if he headed past.

He stopped as well, looking round over her shoulder into the room as well. "Yeah, well, there was the whole pitch black of it all." he said, also curious what was in there. If there happened to be any crazy spikes of death sticking out of the walls, or she had been perfectly safe the whole time. Or, say, if there were any dried out corpses.

From what Nic could see, it had probably been some kind of supply area. There were cabinets lining two of the walls; one missing the glass of it's doors, the other lacking doors entirely. "Looks like storage or bed sheets or something," she murmured, turning and blinking in surprise at the perch he'd taken just behind her. I'm gonna remember that room, that's for sure, she mused, sidestepping Caleb and heading to the stairs.

He let her go past, not actually moving out of her way to let her though. Then he turned to follow, glad that the room hadn't wound up being full of things that would have hurt her because of his stupid, completely un thought through move there. "Something." he agreed. "I think this is the only place in this building I've seen a lot of cabinets and all." he said a shudder going through him as they headed for the stairs. It was in reaction to the cold--his frame was letting him know that he'd pushed it a bit much.

"Yeah, most everything's been cleared out," Nic agreed, turning away from the room in question and back to the stairs. "I wonder how many dorm rooms got furnished with shit from here back in the day," she added, starting to trudge up the stairs at a slower pace so Caleb could follow the light. She was more aware of the cold that had crept in now that she was moving again; a deep chill that decried the warmth of movement all the way down to her bones. Bed sounded good for the warmth of blankets, but bad for plenty of other reasons.

"That sort of just makes me wonder how many dorm rooms were fucking haunted, or had an upsurge in horrible feelings and shit if it did happen." Caleb commented. Which after he said it, he wondered if he'd have to explain. And he didn't especially understand all that well, mostly he'd gotten the gist of shit of that nature from reading the fade book, and it wasn't like he was going to be telling Nic 'so yeah remember Lullaby Draven, killed a month or so ago? Yeah she's totally not completely dead and feeds off of bad vibes'.

She glanced his way at that, brow raising skeptically. "What, you think this place was haunted?" she asked, wanting to disregard the idea but knowing better in present company. If there were bird people? There could be ghosts. "Like, I know orphanages suck, I was in one for a little while? But that doesn't mean they're haunted." Of course, this place definitely fit the look for what a spirit-infested building would look like. As she left the stairs and ensuing red door behind, Nic paused to get a better look at Caleb. "Horrible feelings? Like the Amityville movies with the haunted mirror and shit? Drop a girl a clue here, Lockwood."

"This place just feels..." Caleb started, not sure how to end that sentence. "But yes. I figure it's haunted. I haven't seen a ghost here or anything, but that doesn't mean they aren't there, because I don't actually have the ability to just randomly see spirits." he explained. Didn't Dean know one? Wait, yes...and there was the ID...right. "And yeah, kinda like that. Just...okay, I'm new at this concept and shit? But I've been reading some things lately that talk about negative energy. Like...bad karma just hangs out in places, and in places where a lot of bullshit's gone down, theres a lot of it." he attempted to explain.

"More like Poltergeist," Nic summarized, nodding in understanding. If her own experience could combine with how she saw this place? Yeah, there'd be plenty of bad karma here. "Where'd you find all this out, anyway?" she asked as they moved, flashlight bouncing back and forth on the path in front of them. True to form, talking about this kind of thing definitely made the orphanage a touch creepier, but Nic refused to panic and speed up. "If there's a section in the library for this shit? I'm there."

"My brother's book store." Caleb told her. "Nevermore. Go there, it's got the actual information on shit." he told her. "Seriously, just hit that up. it'll have most anything you actually want to know and a whole lot you don't, if you go looking. But it's the real deal." He didn't say the book he'd been reading from had been about fades, or that he still had it. He didn't especially want to be responsible for outting Lullaby's secret, not the smallest consequence would be Dean killing his dumb ass. Or not, but still. It wouldn't be good, and he wasn't going there. Besides, Nic didn't really need to know about that so much as everything else. Fades she didn't have to worry about.

"Definitely," she said, deciding that what had been an idle curiosity was now a vital necessity. Before? Well, she'd been curious about Caleb's brother more than anything, but now she decided it'd be something good to check out for other reasons. If nothing else, maybe she could save Caleb some time when it came to bringing her up to speed. Of course, since it wasn't a library? She'd need some money too. "Think I'll get a discount if I name-drop you?" she asked with a sideways grin.

He quirked a smile at her. "Might." he said. "Do you need me to get you stuff?" he asked. Because he could possibly borrow things...just ask Dorian if it was alright, get him to give him the best titles, the shit that would cover the most important things without bogging Nic down with a shit ton of details she didn't necessarily need to know. For instance, mating habits of lycanthropes? Probably not anything that was pertinent information unless she was looking to bang one.

She had to laugh, shaking her head a little. How did anyone end up hating him, or having issues with him? Caleb was just too damn helpful to hate. Or maybe that was just with her. "Nah, I'll take care of it," she answered, waving a hand at the offer. "Thanks, but you already bought me a murder implement, remember? Throw some books on about vampires or ghosts or whatever? I end up owing you a bunch." Or he was going for some weird-ass version of buying a girl flowers, which she liked. Though the idea itself? Yeah, still weird. Don't flatter yourself, Nic. He only gets close when it's pitch-black. "I'll just scab some money off my mom. If I tell her it's for books and actually buy books, she won't know what to think."

"Well, that would be if I was the kind of asshole who decided I needed to be paid back for gifts...which I don't. So you can't count the knife." Caleb told her reasonably. "It was a present. You can't hold that against me or some imagined, running tally in the back of your head." He shrugged and quirked a smile at her. "Well, don't say I didn't offer." he said after she mentioned getting money from her mother. "And hey, actually reading them...that'd be cool too. I'd skip spirits for a while, I haven't had any real trouble with them. Kinda. Well, there was the drowned people in the lake that were trying to call me in like they were fucking sirens..." he said, pausing to dig his phone out of is pocket, and he flipped through the very few pictures he had on it, to the one of the ghost in Colorado that had been coming up to him. Then he showed her. It was indistinct, not really as clear as what he'd been able to see when it had been, say, right in front of him, leaning over him, but it was person-shaped.

That was the sort of photo that was all too easy to decry if one was a skeptic, which Nic had been until recently. Then she'd seen blood magic, and things had made a lot less sense. Now? Well, now she wanted proof that something didn't exist. "This thing tried to drown you or something?" she asked as she leaned in to squint at the picture, "How do you even fight a ghost? Exorcisms? Does the power of Christ actually compel them?" Nic tilted her head to smirk at him, looking back at the phone with a thoughtful expression. She was fine with letting go of the knife issue, her focus had been neatly diverted with the matter at hand. "And where should I start? Vampires?"

"My brothers and I were in Colorado." Caleb explained as they started to get towards the exit. "Holing up for a little while, and there was this cabin there, overlooking this man made lake, right? Like there was a town drowned under there. Creepy, if beautiful in this really fucked up way." Caleb told her, mind casting back to when he'd just been looking over it all. "You could see some of the taller buildings and stuff poking out of the water in some places. I was sitting down by the water, and she came up out of it." he said, pocketing his phone again. "When she was up and out, she still looked like she was underwater though. It was insane. Came right up to me, leaned over me. I wound up having to lay back. And I could hear her telling me to follow her, then other voices from the lake. Call me crazy but I don't think everyone was out of that town when it got flooded." he said, deciding to give her the whole picture instead of just a vague one. It was so clear in his mind that he really wanted to. "I drew her, if you wanted to see the drawing." he added. "Anyways...why would you want to fight a ghost?" he asked. "And vampires...you could start there. I guess, you could hit yourself up for vampires and were-creatures, if you wanted to go standard. Everything else...it's such a wide range, I can't even give you a good jump-point."

She could imagine the picture he was painting, lips pursed in quiet thought as Nic visualized the lake and the drowned town beneath its' surface. "Yeah, I want to see it," she told him, shivering slightly. Was it from the cold? Or the mental image of the ghost, her hair floating lightly on a phantom current? "Did you ever, like, look up stuff about the town? Find out the whole history?" She flicked her flashlight behind her as they grew closer to the double doors leading out, half-expecting to see something like that picture floating behind them. "And... if there's a wide range out there? If there were vampires here and werewolves? What else is here?" He probably didn't know entirely, but Caleb was her go-to source for the paranormal thusfar, and a few questions at a time couldn't hurt.

He quirked a little half smile at her as he held the door for her as they exited the building. "No. Never really...after a while you stop looking for the why on things. And there were a shit ton of spirits, there's no way they're all going to get put to rest just that easy. So..." he shrugged. "I could tell you the name of the town, look it up if you were interested." he added. "Psychics." he said. "Witches..." Angels. Demons. God, did he want to tell her those even existed? It wasn't like she wasn't going to find out. So...as he considered, he finally sighed. "Angels, demons...and no, I don't know if that means if there's a god or a devil." he answered before she could ask. As far as he was concerned, the answer was 'no'.

Nic was thoughtful again, breezing out the door and down the steps. Before learning about everything? She hadn't believed in god in any capacity. Now? Well, Nic would want proof that there wasn't one. how else could so much fucked-up stuff exist? "Yeah, I wanna look some stuff up," she confirmed, turning around to wait for Caleb and taking in the things he'd listed. Psychics weren't stunningly mind-blowing, but angels and demons? Yeah, Nic would be thinking about that for a while. And even the plausibility of psychics and witches had her shocked, now that they'd been confirmed. "So... is it just, like, you? People like you and your brothers? Is that why all this shit doesn't kill the rest of us?"

"...you might want to rephrase that for me." Caleb said, giving her an absolutely pained look. "You make me sound like a fucking hero or some shit. I'm not." he said, since he definitely had issues with even that sort of mentality in conjunction with himself. "And half the shit out there doesn't want to do anything stupid. I mean, just because something isn't vanilla human? Doesn't mean that they're anything bad. Psychics are just people with something else going on, doesn't mean that they have some secret, burning desire to kill everyone else. Or even, half the time, think they're better. Witches...depends on the witch, there's different kinds of magic out there, and technically, witches are just human too. Theoretically, anyone can pick up some kinds of witch magic, though the only thing I ever could pull off was blood magic, which you're not looking into." Because he said so.

"Hey, don't put words in my mouth," Nic chided with a scowl, slugging Caleb in the arm easily. "I know you're not a hero, Caleb. I didn't mean it like that. But, like, the vampires? The shadows? Whether you're the good guy or not, you did something about that, right? That's what I meant. People who know about this shit do something about it." Wasn't that part of why he was offering to teach her? So that if something else happened, she could at least defend herself? "It just seems like... like once you know it's out there, you can't ignore it. It doesn't mean you're Superman if you act. Probably more like you're just... decent. Like you don't want anyone to thank you, you just also don't want to lose someone." Which was irrefutable, he'd said how no matter how crazy Leija or Rose made him, he had to watch out for them.

He still didn't look necessarily happy with her assessment of things, thinking it made him sound far better than he was in actuality. Which really, made him want to dispel her from that. "I like the fight. Sometimes? It's the only time I actually feel alive." he told her. "There's a rush in it, just...everything focuses down, simplifies. It's them or me. Or someone I care about, it's...I don't know." he dragged his fingers through his hair, uncomfortable with things. Generally, it was him who made her squirm, but it was his turn, apparently. "Don't go deciding I'm...whatever it is you're saying, Nic. Please."

She took a quick step ahead, turning on her heel to step in front of Caleb and put a hand against his chest, stopping him with her. "Look," she said firmly with an intent stare aimed at him, "All I've decided is that you're determined. Whatever bad wiring you have, whatever scars I don't get to see, I know that much, okay? You act. You know it's fucked up for ninety nine percent of the world, me included, and you don't care because it's you. You're dark, but not because you want to be. You just are. You don't think I have a flitty girl inside who wants a hero to sweep her away or show her how pretty things are, and that means tons for me." She withdrew her hand, taking a deep breath and tucking her braid back behind her ear, smiling at him. "I don't want you to be anyone but the guy who's okay with me kicking his ass, the guy who buys me a knife and shows me the truth and doesn't tell me everything's going to be okay. That guy likes me for me, and sometimes? I like that guy too." That said, she turned around and started on again, arms crossing over her stomach as she glanced back at Caleb. "Sometimes I think I even like you, Lockwood."

He stopped when she stepped in front of him, and didn't try to remove her hand when she put it on his chest. He watched her eyes, listening, even if he was unsettled now, and probably would be for the rest of the night. When he got derailed, often times it was for longer a term than he would have necessarily liked. He didn't respond right away, and it was belatedly that he started to walk again, to catch up with her. Though hey, look. There was some more derailing. "...sometimes you think you like me." he repeated. "...don't suppose you'll fill that in a little better for me..." though he was pretty damn sure he knew what she meant. And in that kindergarten 'I like you back' sort of manner, he couldn't necessarily deny the fact that he was well on his way to developing a thing for her. It wasn't like he randomly pushed just any girls up against walls.

"Jesus, do I really need to?" Nic said over her shoulder, suddenly feeling like an idiot for letting that bit slip out. She wasn't quite waiting for him, but was trying to keep from stomping too far ahead in agitation. "You get me. I can tell you shit about me, and I smile, and no one outside of my mom's ever cleaned me up after a fall. And I know it's just me being stupid because I don't really hang out with guys, either because of them or because of my own bullshit. So of course I'm going to think maybe I like you. But I shouldn't." She did manage to stop for a second, firing another cigarette to life and sucking down a drag.

He listened, coming up to walk directly next to her. He couldn't tell if she was just talking herself out of everything, if he should listen, believe her or...what, really. "So...sometimes you like me, but you've decided that it's just because I'm the only one around." he concluded, taking that from her statement. "...you're going to have to give me a minute or so to figure that out." he told her. Not that he didn't get it, just that he didn't how how to feel about it. Sort of at all. It seemed...yeah. He had nothing. And he couldn't tell if he was disappointed or not either, or just kind of confused, or if he thought that she should stick with that and forget about absolutely anything resembling getting involved with him or having feelings for him because he was a fucking trainwreck.

She felt her cheeks burn at his summary; was that what she'd sounded like? It wasn't what she'd meant, but then, Nic wasn't exactly experienced at expressing her feelings. "No! It's not that you're the only one!" she protested, knuckling her cigarette to hide her face in her hands as she growled tersely. How had they gone from a tense heat in the dark to this? All your fault, girlie. "I just... no one notices me, and I usually like that? And then you went and did the opposite. You let me hug you... you made me want to hug you. You have no idea how weird that was for me. I don't... I don't have anything like this, I never have." She sighed, uncovering her face. "I do like you, but I don't want to blow this, and I just... don't think it's worth risking a friend for something I don't have a real shot at. So if I can keep helping you sort shit out and being your friend, I'll take it. I'm not demanding." She took a deep breath, mustering a smidgen of steadiness before going on. "And don't decide this is you making me crazy, asshole. This is me being a retard all on my own. I should've brought my damn helmet."

He didn't say anything as they walked for a few long, long minutes. He was trying to figure his own head out on things. Such as how he felt about it all, and that? Was a pretty convoluted mess. He knew he was going to have to answer here soon. Come up with something coherent. His main issue was that he had conflicting emotions about it all. Because he couldn't exactly deny that he kind of had a thing for her as well. That was just there, whether he wanted it to be or not. The flipside, was that he had a lot of problems with relationships. Experience told him that he? Was not any fucking good with them. Not by any stretch of the wild imagination. He wasn't really built for them, maybe, even if he was drawn towards them. He didn't want to fuck something else up so royally that it couldn't be salvaged. And really, he had the potential to, on a serious scale. Not to mention that he didn't really want to make her deal with his bullshit, even if she seemed to want to. "I don't--" he started, not at all sure what he was actually going to say. Which really, was part of his problem in the first place, and he really needed to stop speaking before he thought. "I don't really want to fuck this up either." he said, eyes ticking down to the sidewalk, before they were back on her, studying her every move. "And I am really really good at fucking things up. I'm...honestly, Nic, I'm a trainwreck. There's no other way to put it. I'm a disaster. I have issues that you haven't even seen hinted at in our time together, and they're serious ones. I...that bullshit where you wouldn't have a real shot, that's not the case. The issue is you really really don't want to get involved with me." then he paused. "...any more than you already are." he amended.

"Why cant I decide what I want?" she asked tersely, flicking away the majority of her cigarette and watching it bounce in the street. It was better than really hitting him, which she wanted to. "I get that you're fucked up, Caleb. Okay? After the psych ward, the vampires, the ex girlfriends? The brother who didn't pay attention when you were in the hospital? The fact that what you do is killing you and you don't care, because it's working right now? I get it. And if you get to not care, so do I, okay?" She wanted another cigarette already, something to fidget with so she didn't hit him or grab and kiss him or just shove him into someone's yard and run off while he was down. "And I won't say it doesn't freak me out. It does. But it's not going to stop me? And it's not like it's drawing me in either. It's just you; you're a trainwreck. I'm a smaller one. And whatever you haven't said, you can say it and try to scare me off? Or you can let me decide to risk whatever comes with knowing you. If we're friends? Give me the decision at least. If it's hanging out and laughing, or going to tag shit, or getting some guts and kissing you next time? I want that choice." Because she was confident that she'd be the one to fuck this up, and then wouldn't he feel stupid? Both of us will.

It's not like it's drawing me in either. God, was that statement important. That? actually meant a ton to him. Much more than she probably realized, since it came off as a throwaway statement, just a tiny bit of information that wasn't the point. But it was a huge point to him. It was kind of everything. So he heard everything else she had to say, but that one thing stood out in such stark clarity that it eclipsed it all. He had to refocus to really get everything else in his mind to line up, to listen properly. "Give me a minute." he told her as they walked, because he needed one. Really really needed one. Or several. Several was probably more the accurate description. So, they were walking down towards Washington before he said anything further. "I tried to kill myself. And that...wasn't exactly that long ago. I went out, I picked as many fights with things with claws and teeth as I could, and damn near succeeded in my mission. I guess I would have bled out if I hadn't been found...in something like a matter of minutes." he told her. "And I'm not trying to scare you off, i just...I'm--I don't want you even thinking about signing yourself up for shit that's that fucked up. I'm doing a little better now, I'm doing...I'm a little more even. But I have breakdowns." he was having a massively difficult time telling her this, and that was articulated most in the halting speech pattern he had going on, his tone, the fact that he was having problems looking at her, only allowing it a moment at a time before he looked away again...his body language screamed it. "The last one was even more recent, and while I didn't try again or anything, it...I don't know. Once you crack you're never right again. I said it before, it's part of why I'm as worried about Rose with shit as I am. Because you get to that place, and you fall over the edge and you're never where you were. There's just something fundamentally different about you, cracked on the foundation. ...that's me. And I don't even see it coming, half the time, I just...it happens. And I don't want to get you swept up in it, it's bad enough on it's own, without inflicting it upon you."

Everything he said, she had a question for. Why did you want to die? What did it feel like? What cracked you the first time? There was more, but she wasn't going to ask him any of them just yet. Nic just listened, read the awkward shifts of his posture and the way he stopped looking at her as he spoke. That? That bothered her. Sure, Caleb staring at her made her squirm, but she'd gotten used to it. It was part of who he was, and some part of her had even felt special to have his eyes on her so often. So when he stopped, she knew it was serious. "If it's so bad..." she tried swallowing nervously, "... then thank you. For wanting to keep me clear of it, thanks." She had an image of him, unbidden, casting the trick he'd shown her. It didn't matter what he was hitting with it, the important part was the aftermath; the blood from the furrow in his arm running free to his hand. In her mind? Caleb was drawing on the street with that red hand, and his eyes were the opposite of alive. They were cold, lonely, sad with an acceptance of all the horrible things he'd told her and the worse ones he refused to say. Nic breathed deep, reaching out to take Caleb by the arm and stop their progress. Even with all the awkwardness she'd just spouted? She would risk this contact. "But if the breakdown comes that strong? You shouldn't be alone for it. Of everything you've told me, nothing's as scary as telling me how harsh and ugly those are, then telling me I can't help you."

He stopped and looked at her again, at least. Made and held eye contact. "Last time, I stopped caring. Entirely. Like, I didn't even care enough to take myself out. And I said things to people I shouldn't have, and I just...it all quit. I could tell that I should be feeling things, I just was aware of the fact that I wasn't. I got kicked out of it, but--" he looked away at that point, internally flinching even starting to draw near the subject. "I don't want to talk about it." he said, honestly, though the word 'want' had more of a tone that suggested he needed not to. "But yes, it's that bad. And I just..." he shook his head again and glanced back towards her. "I really don't want you caught up in it. Everyone who has been..." he looked down. "It's not fair."

"You don't have to talk about it," Nic assured him with a more gentle tone than she ever used. She couldn't imagine that; him without even the snide humor, the bitter amusement of everything, but Caleb wouldn't make something like that up. And it spooked her, well and truly. "Just... let me ask you a kinda long, rambly question, okay?" she asked, darting her head to level off with the glance he'd given her. She wanted that eye contact this time. "I only remember little bits of my life, what there's been since... whatever was before. You know that. And some of it was good, some of it wasn't. Almost all of it didn't matter. My mom did... and now you do too. However bad this gets? And I trust you there, it'll be bad enough that I'll cry, I'll hide in my bedroom, I might hate you for it... but whatever it is, don't I get to decide if I want it as a memory? Or if I want you, and everything that's a part of you? Don't I at least get to choose to put myself out there? I mean, you can tell me right now that we're not hanging out any more because you want to keep me safe, and I'll listen. You can delete my phone number, ask me to get rid of your drawing, to not look at you at school, but would you trust me to try in spite of how it all makes you worried?"

Since she sought out the eye contact, he gave it to her, not looking away this time. It was a lot easier when she was talking, and he did want to see what was going on in hers. How it all seemed to be effecting her. He drew in a deep breath, and let it out in a rush, not sure what to tell her. He didn't want to back out of her life, he didn't want her not to be part of his. That wasn't how he wanted anything to go. He just worried. And since they'd sort of edged around the topic of something a little more between them, it was even heavier. Or, maybe it wasn't, and he just perceived it that way. "Yes, you get to decide." he said eventually. "I just don't want you walking into something blind, either, and I...just know me. And I know that the shadows blot out the world sometimes."

Nic smiled just at the fact that he was looking at her reliably. Whatever it was they weren't saying regarding each other? It made her want to touch his cheek as she smiled. "Well, I'll bring a flashlight," she told Caleb, "And you can warn me plenty, Lockwood. My decision's the one right here. I think you're gonna need me around to kick you out of your funks, and add to your stupid female problems every now and then." Yeah, she was trying for a lighter mood without being blatant or ignoring everything they'd been discussing; that would've been a feat to pull off. "And... thanks. Again, that is. I know it's hard to say when you're shook up like that. It goes a long way that you said all of that anyway."

He watched her eyes, watched her. Then he quirked the faintest ghost of a smile, that died nearly immediately, but it made a short appearance. "Don't say I didn't warn you." he told her, tone light. And she still didn't even know the half of it. But, hey. He'd told her that there was a ton of shit, and he had even told her that what she did know wasn't all of it--though really, he thought she knew that already, just on her own. Just being her, and observant, intelligent. Just by being able to understand him on some levels without having to try.

Whatever was unspoken, Nic knew there was still plenty of it. And later, in private? She'd stress over it. She'd finally dust off the journal her mother had gotten for her sixteenth birthday, in all likelihood. For now? She was okay with pretending things were less severe than they'd been only a minute ago. "Seriously? you've warned me like nine times now," Nic teased, moving back to his side and slinging an arm across Caleb's shoulders. It was less an intimate gesture, more a masculine one, but it felt okay between them. After all, she was still intent on what she'd said. Friends. He needs a friend, not a girlfriend.

"One of these days I might get you to listen to me." he told her, tone good natured, if light. He didn't protest her putting her arm around his shoulder either, though had the urge to sweep her up off of her feet, just because he could, and he knew it would provoke a probably explosive response. He didn't just yet, though. "A guy's got to keep trying." he pointed out, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. He noticed that they'd touched ont he subject of feelings for one another, then completely gone around it. Like it was out there, but they weren't addressing it for a while. Which...for right now was probably best. The less awkward they could be the better. The last thing he wanted was for things to get weird with Nic before anything had even happened. That would be fucked up. It had already happened with Rose. So...he was really hoping that his particular brand of fuck up wasn't going to extend her way. There was a tiny kernel of desperation buried deep down that wanted to hold onto her. Keep her around, and not crash and burn everything. Like just this once he could have something and not break it all down.

"Hey, I listened enough to count," Nic pointed out, slipping her hand from his shoulder to muss Caleb's hair, then dropping it back into place. Caleb's assessment was dead-on; Nic had said how she felt, and now she would just ignore that it existed. Whatever chemistry they had, however curious she was what it would feel like to kiss him? It was probably better for both of them for Nic to just keep on going as she had. Crack wise, feed him when she could, and keep on slugging him in the arms. Or the face, if he kept up his habit of making her twitch. "But you get an A for effort," she told him with a cynical grin, "And I'm sure someone told you when you were a kid; win or lose, all that matters is that you tried."

"No, if I was being spoken to, I got told 'Why can't you be more like your brothers?' right before I'd get sent to my room for no reason." Caleb said without thinking about it first. Then he winced faintly. "Nevermind, ignore that." he said. "Yes, effort, trying, all that bullshit. Let's call it an agreeance and call it good there." he told her.

Nic laughed faintly, trying to imagine little-kid Caleb and failing. "Not gonna ignore it, but I'll keep the commentary to myself," she promised. By now she had plenty of insight to the fact that Caleb's home life was skewed, and Nic'd be the wrong kind of bitch if she dragged that up or gave him hell about it. She'd already pressed plenty of points tonight, after all. "And why can't you concede all the other arguments this easily? I need to figure out the trick so I can win more often. I never get to use my victory dance."

"Because about all the fight's gone out of me at this point in the evening." Caleb told her. "It all got burned up earlier, so unless you give me a really good argument that I just can't possibly pass up or something, you'll probably get your way right now." he added, watching her out of the corner of his eye. "So, generally, it's just a matter of waiting it out long enough and picking bullshit arguments before you get to the good ones, and maybe by then I'll be argued out."

"Huh. Now I just need to start actually liking butting heads with you," Nic admitted, shaking her head as if to pass up his offer. "I don't, not when it's serious. So I'll just stick to the bullshit ones for now. I, uhm... I might not always get the shit you're trying to tell me? But I'm working on it." Like the full extent of his damage, which was still revealing itself to Nic. Or the paranoid concern over how she viewed the night, and she was finally getting that it really wasn't paranoid. "So you just better be patient. I know where you live, and I don't sleep much."

"Okay, bullshit arguments, and we'll just discuss the serious ones." Caleb said, still walking along while paying more attention to her than their surroundings, even if he wasn't being very blatant about it. "I don't sleep much either, so good luck trying to wait it out. It'll be a while, it's going to be winter soon. So, if you happen to need to do so, just warn me, and I'll pretend you're not hanging out just outside my door, waiting for me to drop off." he said. Which really, whenever he was woken up, it was a bad plan. He always got really tense, and while he didn't outright hit anyone, he was ready to.

She smiled a little over that, head hanging forward to aim her grin at her feet. "Maybe I'll bury myself in the snow and wait for you to come out for school," she threatened, "Just jump out and share the hypothermia... there aren't, like, snow monsters are there? I'd hate for you to shank me because you thought I was Jack Frost or something." As much as she wanted to see Caleb in a fight? That fantasy didn't involve her being the one he was coloring the snow with. "Yeah, I'll just warn you if I have something planned, but you'd better act surprised."

He laughed. "...not that I know of." he told her. Which didn't mean it wasn't possible? But unlikely, at the very least. "And right, shared hypothermia...I've never had that, it'll be new and exciting. I'd been sort of planning for it anyhow, considering I'm from Louisiana, and snow isn't anything I've ever even really seen...well. Til nowish." Considering it had snowed. "And I can act very surprised. I'll be great. So don't worry." he assured her, smirking faintly and he knocked his shoulder into hers accidentally on purpose.

"Good," Nic told him resolutely, slipping her arm free of his shoulders, "And you're gonna love the winters. I came from Wisconsin to here, it's a treat either way. Get fond of soup, skinny boy." She winked with the barb, tucking both hands in her pockets as they moved along Washington Street, chuckling at the thought of him shivering his way to her house, ankle-deep in snow. "If you do pull off the shock? I won't pelt you with snowballs at random for the next six months, or however long winter lasts this year."

He laughed at that. "Alright, I'm down with that deal." he told her. "...though I reserve the right to have at least one snowball fight. Never had one, I figure it's about time and all." he admitted. "...just so long as it's during the middle of the night, and someplace where we're not going to get seen and therefore shit for it..."

"Never?" she repeated with a faint smile, bending as they walked to flit fingers across the new snow. It was too light, too fresh for packing into projectiles, but Nic could wait for that. "I mean, I believe it. Louisiana and all. Just sucks for you, man. Back home? The jocks would pelt underclassmen at school, right? So I'd pack a snowball too, then shove a rock or a few pennies in." It was absurdly childish, but just bitchy enough to fit into Nic's persona. "I'll spare you that much, at least," Nic assured Caleb as she stood tall again. "But if you want me to whup your butt with snow instead of the guns?" she went on, holding up her fists and winking, "I can handle that." And it was nice, how the tension had been sidelined entirely again, at least for the moment.

"Non-rock-laden snowballs, just for me? aww, I'm touched." he teased back, only wondering after he'd said it if he was still allowed to borderline flirt with her. What with them having owned up to a few things then promptly proceeded to ignore the shit out of it. "But yeah, snowball fights, I'm fine with that. You'll also probably occasionally have to remind me that this isn't the apocalypse and spring will eventually come."

Her head hung to mask a smirk at the vaguely flirtatious comment, and Nic laughed softly, nodding at his request. "Yeah, you're touched alright. In the head," Nic teased back with a middle finger that was less flirty than hitting him. "But I can handle that too. Though seriously, spring is worse if you ask me. Everything's either frozen or buried in mud for a few months, looks like the whole town got rained on by a Golgothan shit demon. Are those real? Or was Kevin Smith making stuff up?"

"If they are real, I really don't want to know about it." Caleb told her. His mother hadn't been that kind of demon. She was just a horrible fucking bitch. Or, if you were Caleb Lockwood she was. "And hey, I've come very clean about the fact that I'm fucked in the head. This has been a topic of conversation between the two of us for a long time now. I have entirely owned up. Therefore, it doesn't quite count as a proper dis. So, try again." he told her, glancing around them as they walked, before turning his attention back on her.

She screwed up her expression, sneering with a brow raised incredulously at Caleb. "Try again? Is this a fucking talent show?" She almost called him on the bit about entirely owning up, but not tonight. Maybe Caleb would tell her about the things he found really horrible in the future, but not if she pressed the point. "Okay, how about... it's going to be harder hiding that fact now that you lost all that distractingly curly hair and could fit right in on the drama club roster," she tried, smoothing out her expression to grin at Caleb expectantly.

"Keep that up and I'm going to do something drastic. Like fine out how ticklish you are, and where." he warned. "I'm not a drama club guy. Should I find some way to give myself some really big, noticeable scar on my face, so that you'll quit insinuating that I'm a pretty boy or some shit? First the Abercrombie comment..." he said, teasing, and he grinned at her. "I'm a moody asshole. Get with the program."

"Well then avoid a big, dramatic scar," Nic advised, taking a wary step away and raising her hands like she was ready to fight him off. "If you're such a moody asshole, and now you're all cleaned up? A scar would make you straight-up emo. Seriously, next time I saw you it'd be on MTV singing about how you cry when your girlfriend won't loan you her jeans." Yeah, tickling was a dual-edged threat. For one? She was. And second? Well, close quarters between them got awkward in all the right ways.

"Scarring is emo now?" Caleb asked, arching a brow as he eyed her. He made a show of looking t her stance, then back up to her eyes. "And I don't do singing. Or emo, really. I thought emo was all...stupid haircuts and plastic eighties jewelry and more makeup than your average cheerleader. I'd definitely have to at least be in a band, and have like...shirts with unicorns on them and shit." he added. "I'm pretty sure a scar wouldn't actually cut it in today's emo scene. They'd call me a poser then write a weepy song about it."

Her eyes lit up, obviously delighted as Caleb ranted for a moment, and Nic almost lowered her hands. She kept them ready though, deciding Caleb was just crafty enough to lower her guard, then follow through with his threat. "No shit. Number one hit in the making, 'I Cry More Than He Does' or something," she agreed with a twinle lingering in her eye. "You know I'm going to get you a unicorn shirt now, don't you?"

"Just so long as you know that I'd rather be in a shallow grave in mexico, bones being urinated on by half dead winos with no teeth than wear it." Caleb said with a grin at her. He also took a quick step towards her, just to see if she'd twitch. He figured she would. He also had an idea she was going to hate him for, but didn't do anything yet.

Caleb wasn't disappointed, that was for sure. Nic took a reflexive step back, ready to grab at Caleb as her heel dropped over a curb and she staggered for balance. "Dickbreath!" Nic snapped at him as she found her footing, lurching back up onto the sidewalk and stalking closer to Caleb. "I think I can hit that part of your wishlist, you smirky little shit..." Yeah, fun. Nothing like fully fucking with each other to get right back to where they'd been at the start of the night.

"It was an either or, not a wish." Caleb said, and he automatically had reached out for her when she stumbled, but then she was back up. So he just did what he'd been intending to do, not giving her the opportunity to fully catch her balance or anything. He moved fast, ducking down just a little, enough that he got in close, and the next thing he did was pick her up over his shoulder. Not that he'd be able to carry her long or anything, but he did for a minute. "...since you obviously can't walk for shit..."

"Augh!" Nic yelled in surprise as she flailed against him, her feet leaving the ground, "Fucking cock! Put me down before I telescope your spine!" She kicked a little bit, heedless of how late it was or the chance of waking people as Nic grabbed at Caleb's sweatshirt, trying to yank the back up over his head with one hand. "Caleb! Stop! Or you won't be walking, you'll need a fucking wheelchair and ramp access," she threatened desperately, striving to reach the waist of his pants with her other hand. Because really, when all else failed? A wedgie normally worked.

He laughed and walked a few more paces as if he weren't planning on letting her down at all, before he abrupltly stopped and set her on her feet. He did make sure she had her feet properly under her before he let go, though. "Jesus, a guy tries to help..." he said, shaking his head. He was smirking though, and trying to ignore the twitch in the back of his head that wondered if she'd seen the scars on his back when she'd yanked his hoodie up.

She shoved at his chest as he set her down, both pushing him away and giving herself a step to distance him from the flush of her cheeks. Nic had missed the scars in the darkness and the fleeting chance, she had to hope he'd miss this detail all the same. "Well you and Jesus can go split a dick lunch," she spat with a wary smile and a huff of breath, standing there for a second like she expected a second assault. Finally, she lowered her hands and started an easy backstep along the sidewalk, waiting for him to join her before turning around. "One of these days, Caleb... pow."

He hopped back when she shoved him, taking a few quick steps to keep himself upright. He definitely didn't look repentant. "Yeah...I know." he told her, like he was in fact, fully aware of the fact that one day she was going to really hit him, probably give him a black eye. He just didn't mind so much. Didn't care. It was just her, and he wasn't going to stop playing around when he enjoyed it so much, and he was fairly sure she did too. "But I promise you can still tell me you told me so when it happens."

"Good," Nic told him, glad he wasn't surprised by the reality of it all. Yeah, they were friends. He was helping her. But she wasn't above slugging him like anybody else. "You've got at least one good shot coming, buddy. But I might at least let you get up between them." Or I might pin you down, she thought but didn't say, avoiding the playful edge that he seemed okay with. Nic liked it? But she was still pretty flush with the emotion of the whole night, and wasn't sure what might happen if she actually said that. Still, her own thoughts made her smile in private amusement as Nic turned the corner onto Fourth, starting to trudge up the easy slope of the hill there.

He fell into step beside her again. "How big of you." he said. "Letting me get back up between shots. Nice. Just make sure if you hit me, you make it count. I mean, you might as well, really." he told her conversationally, like this was just something people did all the time. "And make sure you spread it around, too. Let everyone know it was you. Just for your rep's sake."

"Aw, and you claim you're not a sweetie," she teased, shooting a playful grin at Caleb. "Only a real gentleman would volunteer something like that. But I'll pass. I think if people decide we're cool with each other, they'll be less prone to fuck with either of us. And hell, imagine the rumors. You and me? We'd be a sign of the apocalypse, fuck the snow." She returned his favor from earlier, bumping into Caleb again and laughing as they plodded along. "You can just let me know if you want me to hit you, too. If you're having a bad day or anything. Say the word, I'll wait to surprise you so you really feel it." Maybe he was right, maybe she was a sadist on some small level.

"...only selectively." he told her. "Like to you. Not anyone else." Which was just how he worked. People in his life, they were exceptions, not the rule. She was a major exception. And really, the longer he knew her, the more of one she was. Whether or not that was a good thing, that was just how it was working out. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye for a few long moments. "I think I like it better when it's coming from you. If I'm having a bad day, I just want to be around you, period." he told her. "You take my mind off of things."

And cue blushing. Even if he'd been giving her praise like that on and off tonight, Nic was still stunned. It was, for what she knew of Caleb, a high compliment indeed, and she had to wonder how many of the odd feelings she had were mutual sometimes. "I like when you're around on bad days," she told him, watching her feet intently as they walked, "You make my bad days seem pretty trivial. Plus you get all frazzled? It's pretty adorable, in a pissed-off vigilante kind of way. And? I like blasting your shitty moods apart. Getting you to smile's a challenge, Caleb." But she thought she was getting okay at it, so Nic would mark it as a win.

He gave a short light half-laugh. "Yeah?" he asked. "...guess it would be, huh." Not that he'd ever thought about it. "And pissed-off vigilante...I'm letting that slide." he told her, able to accept that slightly better than anything that implied heroism. That was...more acceptable. It didn't grate as bad. "...and my being frazzled is what? Adorable? C'mon, don't tell me you really find anything about me something that most people use as a descriptor for kittens."

"No, I seriously do," Nic assured him with a laugh, happy to turn the tables even a little bit. "It's like, last time you came by? I just couldn't figure out how it was to live in your world. You go out and fight monsters and see werewolves, and you're cool. You're like 'oh hey, vampires'. But then a girl just... flips your shit inside out and you get all spazzy-confused. And I'm not saying you shouldn't? Chicks suck. I'd kill every girlfriend I had if I was a dude or into my own gender. But it's a sight to see." She sighed, nudging him as they walked. "Better let it slide, buddy. I need some way to try and describe you. And 'sociopath' doesn't quite fit."

"How do you know I'm not a sociopath?" he asked, watching her. It was that heavy focus again, really paying strict attention to her as they walked. Really, as much as he had been when she'd had his blood all over her hand. Which really he should start attempting to scrub that mental image from his brain any time now. That was probably an argument for being sociopathic, wasn't it? He didn't immediately bring up the bit about how girls fucked with his head. How he was fairly sure he didn't in any way understand them, and that he didn't have hope that would change.

She was honestly glad he'd asked, and Nic turned a challenging smile Caleb's way. "Well, I haven't seen the most recent DSM guide? But you only hit maybe half of the symptoms. So maybe you are, maybe you aren't. I've been wrong before? And I wouldn't really be surprised to be wrong again. Still, I want proof before I admit that I am," she explained with a shrug, knowing that he'd probably argue some of the things she didn't think applied. Shallow emotions? Yeah, Caleb could seem like that, but Nic knew it wasn't the case. Lack of impulse control? Well, if that one fit, he probably would've kissed her by now. "Do your best when you decide you want to argue it, Veronica Mars," she added with a mocking grin, figuring that little taunt might get a rise out of him.

"You've studied psychology?" he asked, that sparking up his interest, most definitely. And as much as he'd given the shrinks at the hospital fuck all in the way of a look inside his head, he was curious what Nic saw when she looked at him from that point of view. He considered himself a sociopath. At least, in comparison to normal humanity. "And veronica--the fuck you say, woman?" he asked. "And right, okay, half the symptoms, which ones do I hit on, and which ones do I miss?" Because yeah...really really curious, and that showed in his tone and the way he was watching her. Before, when he'd just been watching, it was something else but now he had a curious look in his eyes, a posture that was more like he was listening.

Okay, now she was under definite scrutiny, and Nic could feel it. It was an equal mix of discomfort and amusement, the feeling of having his full attention. "No, I don't study it," she told him with an embarrassed laugh, "Back home, with the library and shit? I thumbed through an old copy of the DSM the college had donated, looked up mental disorders for fun. Shit, I look like a bookworm?" she asked critically, shaking her head and going on before he could answer. "Okay, which do you hit? Let's see... you're pretty glib, I'd say you definitely have a need for stimulation, most sociopaths have early delinquency issues, and a lot of them have trouble with empathy. That last one's sort of hit-and-miss with you though. You get me and my moods? But not Rose's, which I get in turn, so I don't think it counts."

She was wracking her brain for the symptoms, not really keen on letting him down with how curious he seemed, and Nic started a tally on each hand as they walked to keep track. "But you definitely don't have an inflated self-image, you're more of a rational liar than a pathological one, I know you feel guilty for shit, and I don't want to know if you fit the sexual promiscuity target," she finished with a light laugh, holding both hands out as if presenting the full picture as she finished.

He listened, and thought about everything she said. "Need for stimulation...don't most people have that?" he asked, thinking he was missing something there. People needed something going on in their lives. Otherwise why do anything ever? "Early delinquency issues...guilty as charged. Trouble with empathy...that one I'd say I have. Not necessarily by choice, but I know there are some days where I just cannot listen to people drone on about bullshit that doesn't matter. I can't bring myself to care." And with his last breakdown tossed in there...yeah. "You know I feel guilty for some things. Do they have a lack of guilt for everything across the board? I thought they were the type where...rules were something that applied to other people, but not them." He smirked faintly at her at the last bit. "I haven't been properly laid since I got to town." he told her, even if she told him she didn't want to know. But he couldn't not rib her there.

She made a face there, nose wrinkling as Nic stuck her tongue out at Caleb. "Well, as soon as you admit that you're dying to start kissing dudes, you'll be fine," she mocked, winking at him. "And the stimulus thing is more like... extreme stimulus? Forcing yourself into exhilarating situations, just for the rush of being in them. I think it fits." Hunting monsters, climbing to the roof of the orphanage, and pinning her up against the wall? Yeah. Extreme stimulus. "But yeah, the guilt thing is supposed to be pretty all-encompassing. Shame and remorse don't really exist for the textbook sociopath, because everyone else is just an opportunity for what they want. You get attached, though. Whether you want to or not."

"So adrenaline." Caleb surmised. "Yeah, that fits." he agreed. Not constantly, twenty four seven or anything, but he knew himself well enough to know he liked it. That he reveled in the fight when there was one in front of him. "Why do you think I get attached?" he asked. "What if it was for selfish reasons, just giving me what I want on different levels?" Not that he thought that was the case, but he was curious just how well she knew him, what her take was. So, he could play devil's advocate.

"Because for all your griping about Rose? Or everything about things being fucked up with... Leija, right?" Nic asked haltingly, looking his way, "You're more worried that you can't help them than you are that it's fucking you up. You won't let me walk into a dark room first, remember? You constantly try to correct what I'm seeing because you think I'm going to be let down. Which you don't want." She was sharp, for all her self-deprecation and joking. She paid attention to what was between the lines of Caleb's words. "If any of that is 'giving you what you want'?" she echoed, adding finger quotes and a smirk, "Then you were lying about being a masochist, or just being a little bit of one. And there's nothing wrong with not being a sociopath. I just don't see you as one."

He was quiet for a few long moments as they walked, milling over everything she said thoughtfully. She had interesting points, that was for sure. Some of which he couldn't argue against. "I suppose I always thought that I was." he said honestly, voice just a little distant. Not in a bad sort of way, necessarily. More just a touch thoughtful, as he contemplated. "But then again, that's probably fucked up in and of itself, isn't it? No one wants to believe they're fucked in the head, or that something is seriously wrong with them. But I suppose I have from the start. As long as I remember, anyways. Sociopathology kind of...seemed to fit."

"Yeah, that's kinda fucked up," she agreed in a softer voice, empathizing with him in the moment. "I guess it feels easier, maybe? To just convince yourself you're hard-wired the way you are, that it's biological. But plenty of people out there hit a couple things on the list, it's why real sociopathology is a bitch to prove. Hell, I have problems empathizing," she told him with a dark smirk and a nudge of her elbow. "The short-bussers we're stuck with every day? I can't get in touch with whatever the hell's bouncing around in their skulls. But if you like thinking you're one? I think you have a lead on a lot of the rest of us."

"It's not that." Caleb said right away, looking at her. "It's not a matter of liking it or not. I've just always felt like I don't operate on the same level everyone else does, and the level I'm at isn't a good one." he explained. And technically, he was right about that, and it all played into his heritage. But he couldn't really tell her about that. He could, however, get into his own thoughts on the matter without giving her part of the why involved. That was something, at least to him.

She frowned there, not liking it but knowing Caleb was right. For any insight she had? It wasn't the full picture of who he was. "It may not be a good level... but it's not the worst one either, is it?" she asked thoughtfully, "I mean, you said there's people out there, witches and psychics and other stuff. And most of them are just people with an extra aspect, right? But some of them... maybe they're worse off. Maybe knowing the score out here means you're always going to be on another level. And as long as it's not the worst one possible? You're doing okay." It sounded oversimplified to her, trite even, but Nic was weighing in on a perspective she was still far too new to.

"You're right in part." Caleb said. "There will always be a separation with knowing what's out there, or having an extra ability. I mean if nothing else, on it's most basic level it means that you're lying to the world at large, on a daily basis." he continued. "Means that you've got this secret, one that doesn't lend itself to sharing, or if it does, you run a huge risk with it regardless. I mean, I was afraid you were going to be afraid of me when I showed you. And if my trust in you was misplaced, you could have told someone else. Keep rippling that out and pretty soon, it gets back to someone who isn't really keen with the idea of a highschooler with the ability to shred things with little to no problem. And then you get hunters." He drew in a deep breath. "...to be honest with you, that's part of why I'm trying to keep an eye on that asshole I told you about before. Gabe. He saw something he wasn't supposed to, and I need to make sure he keeps his big fucking mouth shut."

Nic sighed and nodded, looking his way with a sheepish honesty. "Truth? I was pretty freaked then, I still am sometimes. Not of you? just... all of it. It's big, if you weren't hanging around I'd be spazzing out about it. But you are, so I'm getting by. And I think that if I ever actually see something else? Yeah, I'll piss myself a little. But it won't be you making me do that, and I'm glad you get that. One less person to lie to daily must be a little relief." She smirked Caleb's way as they turned a corner onto Ridge, getting closer to her house. Nic was in no hurry to end the night, though, deadline for catching her mom or no, so she slowed to a snail's pace. "I don't expect an answer? I get the secretive side of everything? But... what did Gabe see?"

He was silent for a long moment. "...it's not my secret to tell." he told her honestly. "I trust you, but it's really not something I can tell you. I'd probably be killed for it." he said, then paused. "...I'm kidding there, not really. I'd just get a lot of hell, and this specific case, it's pretty fucking sensitive. I'd be pissed with me if I was on the other end of it. So...I'm sorry." and he sounded like he meant that.

"It's okay," Nic told him, and she meant it. She was fresh to this world, of course there'd be plenty she wasn't ready for. Caleb probably knew enough to make her not want to know any more, to forget what she already knew. "Just... I told you before? You can shoot me down any time I ask a question, I just won't quit asking. And if Gabe knows shit he shouldn't, I get why you're worried. Dude's mouth is all stretched out already, secrets probably float right past. I'll pay extra-close attention now that I know," she promised, smiling wistfully at Caleb. It had to be hard, and even if he couldn't always empathize? She could, at least for him.

"Thank you." Caleb said, quirking a little half smile at her. "Just pay attention to anything that sounds fucked up and unbelievable." He wondered how Lullaby would react to any of this. ...he was fairly positive he knew how Dean would. With an emphatic 'the less people who know, the safer she is' which he had to back him up on. He still was of a mind that Lullaby would be the perfect sick plaything of demons. Like the ones in the bar...god... Okay now he was feeling a little sick to his stomach, and he had to fight to get the mental imagery out of his mind. "Tell me something good." he said as they walked slowly--he'd matched pace with her when she slowed. His eyes were on the sidewalk, and he just listened.

She'd nodded wordlessly at his request, intent on listening even closer to the chatter in the locker rooms, in the bathrooms, by the lockers next to hers. If Gabe was running his mouth? Nic wanted to help Caleb shut it. But then he was asking her for something good, and she had to think on that. "I had a lot of fun tonight, my emotional baggage aside," she tried first, smirking his way, "And you've got pretty, uhm, gentle hands. Even when you're getting grabby in the dark." But that was just asking for trouble, so her mind raced for another option. "And I think I should be good to work on your car in the next few days, so you can look forward to getting your hands dirty in a completely different sense than you're used to. I'm kinda psyched for videogames? And if it's not too weird-sounding, we should try some lunch at school with this dude I know, Nate. I wanna see how people react, then laugh at them."

He didn't know that he'd heard the word 'gentle' used in the same sentence as him before. It was strange to hear. But, she succeeded in at least distracting his attention from untold horrors. That was a plus. "Thank you." he said. "And see how people react to what?" he asked. "You and I possibly eating together? Or...?" he asked, eyeing her again.

"No 'or' in there," Nic answered with a shrug, "Just you and I eating together. I get that rep, which I like? The girl who's fine on her own? I just think it'd be fun to turn it on it's head for a day. And as for you? Well, people would worry. They'd think we were like Japan and Italy, just waiting to find our Germany and start declaring war on people." She laughed, hopping up on a streetlight's base and hanging onto it, peering out from the other side at Caleb. "Tell me it wouldn't be awesome to have people wondering when we'd start the sneak attacks."

He smirked, looking up at her as he stopped. "Got any targets in mind, Japan?" he asked. Since she was the one with the long black hair. So he definitely declared her Japan. "And I could in fact be down with making people paranoid. I wouldn't mind giving them something new to talk about either way. They seem to love talking about me, so...whatever. And something new for them to talk about you with. But spreading dissention in the ranks and paranoia...yeah. I'm good for it." He absently thought she looked cute there, looking down at him.

Nic was fine to linger there for a moment, hooking both hands around the lightpole and leaning back, more carefree in that instant than she usually was. "The standard targets," she told him, twisting a little, then hopping down. "Chrissy Chapman always has it coming. Gabe sounds like he does too... some kid, Aaron? Wormy little fuck, I heard he wanted to fistfight with some chick. Which sounds bad but isn't?" She grinned wide at Caleb, starting the slow pace towards her house again. "Problem is that it wasn't me, and now I'm offended. So him, definitely."

"How dare he, picking fights with other girls." Caleb tsked with a far too heavy note to his tone. "So definitely him. I'm sure he'll learn from his mistake. So...right. Those targets sound good. And we add more as time goes on?" he asked. "...and if we're waiting for our Germany, does that mean we need a third party that's more fucked up that either of us?"

She laughed at that, trying to imagine who that candidate could be. "I think it's more that it means I have an imperfect metaphor here," she suggested, still snickering, "Do you think there's even anyone at school who'd fit that criteria? God, I'd almost be spooked to meet them." not to mention that Nic was, like plenty of girls her age, a little territorial. She was fine with Rose and Leija, they'd been here first, but what she and Caleb had? It was their own weird little dynamic, she didn't want to make room for someone else in it just yet.

Caleb thought to himself that he knew someone who was less on the more fucked up than either of them front, but definitely a candidate for being just as badass when he wanted to be. He remembered the corpse of Lullaby's dad. One. Fucking. Shot. And this was while he'd been bleeding out. So yeah, Dean could be frightening if one looked at things from that angle. The balancing factor was that Dean wasn't a psychotic, and he wasn't ever going to be. "No, and I'm not up for looking for one. It'd be a lot of work...I say we just keep things with just us." he told her.

"Tell me just what I want to hear," Nic teased as they edged closer to her yard, "You can be pretty placating when you want to be." She reached up to her backpack straps, thumbs hooking in them awkwardly as Nic realized that the night was really done with, and that was disappointing. "And if we're keeping it at us? You get to call next time, since I called tonight. I won't be around school tomorrow, but if you need to vent anything? Just come on by. Hell, even if you don't need to vent." Which might be weird if she was having her usual melancholy tomorrow, so hopefully he'd have better things to do for at least a day.

He smirked at her. "Careful. I might start think you like having me around a lot." he told her. He reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear, a purely un-planned gesture on his part. "You also know I'm going to stand here and wait til you're actually inside before I leave." he said.

She started a little as he reached up, nearly brushing her cheek with his hand, but Nic managed a smile as he did so. "Go ahead and start," she told him, reaching to grab his wrist lightly and bring his hand away and back to the space between them, "You keep me entertained... that's pretty valuable these days." She sighed as she released his wrist, taking her first steps back towards the yard. "And I kinda figured, yeah. But at least I know it's not for the view," she joked with a shrug, lingering at the edge of the grass.

"No, you know it's not entirely for the view." Caleb told her. "You never know. It might be just a little." He shoved his hands in his pockets, and backed up a pace or two, but only that far, fully intending to stand right the fuck where he was so he could make sure she got in okay.

Her face twisted up into an awkward smile as Nic's shoulder's hunched in, laughter following a minute later. "Okay, you're not a sociopath? But you're definitely messed up," she teased, winking at him. "Get on home, Caleb. Maybe I'll see you soon. Goodnight," she said plainly in parting, turning to trudge over to her window and huffing in a breath. Tonight had offered up so much to think about that Nic almost wanted to skip sleeping entirely, but it'd still be there to think about tomorrow. Slipping her window open, she shot one last glance his way, tossing up a middle finger and her usual sardonic grin before she clambered in, disappearing from sight.

Caleb watched her go, made sure she was in, and that her window was shut, and then he turned to head home, wondering if he was going to bother with school tomorrow either. Possibly not, depending. But he had a lot to think about as well, and he was fairly sure it was going to be keeping him awake for a while. He could deal with that.