burned

who: kaysen and tad
where: mshs
when: lunch time

She hadn't meant to start the fire. She really, really hadn't. It had been an accident. She hadn't meant to char the walls, or warp the doorframe, she hadn't meant to set off the sprinklers in the room. It was under control. It hadn't gone anywhere. But still. She hadn't meant it.

It had just happened. She'd been talking to Chance, they'd had a huge fight...and it was over. For really over, too, not just her kinda sorta maybe not for really over idea she'd been clinging to. Not the vague idea in the back of her mind that things would clear up eventually. That one day it'd be okay. Because he loved her, right? He'd said so. She remembered that shit. But...it just wasn't working. And he'd said a whole lot, and it was all probably her fault. She'd just...exploded. Maybe kinda literally, with the whole fire damage of it all. She hadn't meant to, but...everything went red, and then things were on fire and she was choking on smoke, and she was soaked because of the sprinklers in the room. And now she was sitting on the steps, still soaked, only much colder now, staring down at nothing.

This was her fault. She was positive it was her fault. She'd only ever really been adept at pissing people off, and driving them away, so it had to be her, right? Had to be. Fuck. She was alone now. Really alone.

Lunch seemed like target practice some days and Tad had always found it better to keep moving. Plus he'd been avoiding hanging with Porter due to a massive bout of overstimulation on the social scale from the past few days and didn't think he was up for meeting the guys girlfriend or other friends or whatever. So lunch was spent wandering the halls, half eating his lunch out of his backpack, half wondering about the events of the past few days and a tiny portion trying not to think about Kaysen and if he was crushing on her or not.

When he came bounding down the stairs though he almost stepped on her where she was sitting. He stopped just short and stared at his friend completely unsure of what to do. He knew the rules, no talking in public, but she was drenched for some reason and even from behind looked all sorts of not good. A quick glance around confirmed that they were alone and he figured to hell with it and moved slowly around her to sit next to her. "Kayce?" Tad leaned in trying to see around to her face a little.

She hadn't even heard him coming, which was a testament to just how out of it she really was. So, when Tad spoke, she jolted a touch, and then looked round quickly. Then she ducked her head, because her eyes were red and puffy and her cheeks probably were too, and whatever it was probably really fucking obvious she'd been crying her eyes out really recently. "Jesus fucking--what part of 'don't fucking talk to me in school' did you not get?" she snapped, sniffling a little. Really she wasn't so mad about that, but she was all upset and everything and she was feeling a whole lot more like a social disease than usual, and she didn't think it was that fair for Tad to get hit up with it. Fuck, she might even be dangerous right now. She'd not meant to set a room on fire and had. She didn't want to do the same to Tad.

Ok that maybe pissed him off a little and he didn't get mad often. Tad had an ovewhelming urge to hit something (not her of course) kind of hard and scare some sense into her like guys always do in movies. Here he is, trying to be a good guy because she's fucking crying and she's yelling at him like he's an idiot. "I assumed it didn't apply when you're sitting on the stairs, dripping wet and crying," he snapped back. Once the words were out though his mood changed. As usual he ran his hands through is hair so he wouldn't be tempted to touch her. "Jesus Kayce, what happened?"

Kaysen actually felt a little better for him snapping back at her. Why, she couldn't pinpoint. But really, it helped a smidge. Maybe because if he cared enough to snap back at her and he was sitting there still, asking what the fuck was up with her, it meant he gave a damn. And right now? She could do with someone giving a damn. But it wasn't in her nature to be all fluffy or sobby or anything else. Kaysen's default mode was 'moderately bitchy'. She didn't let people in easily, even if she was in a position to want to. "Nothing." she muttered under her breath, looking down at the steps again, and she reached up to wipe at her eyes with her sleeve. "I just like hanging out being wet and fucking crying. It's a hobby."

"That is a really, really shitty hobby." Tad was relieved she didn't lash out at him again because he was pretty sure he didn't have another snap left in him with her looking so pathetic-like. Something in him was aching just seeing her like this, and it was taking everything in him not to just grab her and hold her close. Which was something worth concentrating on because he was certain doing such a thing could lead to an early death. "Seriously, Kaysen. What's going on?"

She didn't answer for a few long moments. She shrugged one shoulder, and fidgeted with the cuff of her hoodie, picking at frayed loose threads. "Chance and I broke up. For really. I don't know. I fucked up. I don't really want to talk about it." she said. Which she didn't, because so much of it had to do with shit she couldn't tell Tad in the first place so she'd spend the whole time talking around shit and she hated that. "I'm fine." she added, even if it was fantastically fucking clear that was a blatant lie.

Tad actually couldn't answer her right away. His mind hit some sort of mental road block the same way a crash test car hits the wall and he froze. Maybe part of it was the conversation with Lauren about Kaysen, and maybe part of it was that his ground for not liking Kaysen just completely fell out from beneath him. In a very selfish moment, all he could think about was how his life was going to be more difficult by wild proportions. "Did he actually tell you it was your fault or are you just deciding that on your own accord?" He ignored her comment about being fine because she wasn't, that much anyone could notice. "And this might be too much to ask, but why are you wet? You've got to be freezing." Being Tad, he started pulling off his own hoodie with the intent of giving it to her.

Kaysen didn't say anything about the blame factor. Really, she didn't know. Maybe he'd said something, but maybe not. He didn't have to, in the long run, she definitely knew where the blame lay. It was squarely on her shoulders. "...there might have been a fire." she mumbled in answer to the why she was wet question. Then she noticed him moving and she blinked at him, very confused. "The fuck're you doing?" she asked.

He was already stopped mid-movement, arms out of his hoodie, head still in it, but it wasn't cause she'd looked at him funny and wanted to know what he was up to. "There might have been a FIRE?" he asked, louder than she'd mumbled it because he really wanted to be sure she'd said what he thought she said. Pulling the hoodie up to completely obscure his face momentarily and when it emerged his curls were even more wildly out of control and in his face than before. "What I'm doing is giving you this so you don't get hypothermic," Tad told her offering over the sweatshirt, with a look that told her to take or he might consider forcibly putting it on her himself.

She winced. "Jesus, tell the whole school why don't you?" she asked when he asked about the fire. "Yes, there was just a little one, kind of, and it looks way worse than it was okay and there were sprinklers and I got wet." she added in a rush. Then she eyed his sweatshirt skeptically. If she traded his for hers, it would mean that she wasn't protected by the spell Thom had put on hers anymore. But she was in fact, wet and freezing and massively uncomfortable. Shit. Decisions decisions. In the end, the look he was giving her made her decision for her. "Whatever, I'm not going to melt..." she muttered, starting to tug her own hoodie off, which was harder to do while it was soaked than when it was dry. The tank top she had on underneath it was kind of wetish too, but not nearly as bad as her hoodie was. Dropping her hoodie down on the step between she and Tad, she took his and pulled it on. "Thanks." she said, looking down again. She wasn't used to anyone doing anything like that for her, so she wasn't exactly sure how to react.

"Little fires don't set off sprinklers. Why in the hell did you decide to start playing with matches?" Tad was using one hand to try and smooth his mop of curls and push them off of his face at the same time. "I think I need a haircut." The statement was completely unrelated to the situation at hand but that was how Tad worked, and to him it seemed right on topic. He was attempting to tame his hair wasn't he?

"Do I look like a girl who plays with matches?" Kaysen snapped. "And who the fuck said I started it anyways?! Why would you assume that? What kind of girl do you think I am, anyways?!" she said, as that sank in. And okay, she did start it, but not like that! It was an accident! It was her being a fucking freak, not like she randomly decided to find out what paint smelled like when it was cynging off the walls. "Ass." she accused, a bit bent out of shape over that. "And whatever, your hair is fine. It's just foofy."

Tad stopped with his hand still on his head staring at her, which just seemed to be what he did around Kaysen. Stopping mid-motion and staring at her for something she said. This time though it was the bit about his hair. He was a little pissed again she was snapping at him, but her comment put a serious crack in his armor. And he wasn't even sure what "foofy" meant, or if it was a bad thing. "No you don't look like a girl that plays with matches," he shot back, although with significantly less force. "I'm just trying to figure out how a fire..." Tad trailed off when he thought about the situation. "Was it him? He wasn't trying to do something to hurt you or something was he? That fuck-face, I'll kick his ass." Which was a completely empty threat, even if it was heartfelt, because Tad had never kicked anyone's ass.

"Dude, no offense, but Chance would like kill you." Kaysen said. Chance got into fights a lot. Probably as often as Tad did, he was just much better at defending himself. Well. When he felt like it. "And no, he wasn't trying to hurt me." she added. Not physically, at least. Then she stopped, and blinked, and stared at Tad for a minute. Yep, totally her turn to stare. "...did you just like...get all protective or some shit?" she asked him. "What are you on?" She skipped the part where she still hadn't explained how a fire got started.

Tad stared back at her with an obvious look of panic. His blue gray eyes were as wide as they'd get because he was certain in this moment he was caught. There was probably some smooth way to get out of this while looking cool but he didn't know what it was. "Uhh," he stammered. "Yes?" He flushed a little but managed to get words out with out his voice shaking. "I'm not on anything. Why do I have to be on something to be protective. I mean seriously. Sheesh." Looking away from her because at this point he really couldn't look at her, he pointed out the part she'd skipped. "You still haven't told me how the fire got started." She might not want to talk about it but that last thing Tad wanted was to be in the hot seat with his runaway emotions.

She caught the blush and the whole flail-look he'd given her. It just puzzled the living shit out of her, really. "You have to be on something to be protective because if you're going to start that shit, you're going to have to take on the entire fucking school, and then I'd have to be cleaning bits of you out of the carpet with a sponge." she pointed out. "I'm not really digging on that as an outcome. So...give it up or something." she said, thinking again that Tad and Porter would be like perfect for each other. Y'know, if they were gay. which she didn't really get the gay vibe off of either of them. "And no, I haven't." she agreed, though she didn't fill in that blank. "Can we not talk about it?"

"Hah! You do like having me around, you'd clean up the leftover bits of me." Humor would forever be his saving grace. Tad leaned towards her so their shoulders bumped playfully and he chuckled a little. "I don't think I can avoid being protective, but I'll try not to pick any fights. Maybe I'll just be the guy with a dry sweatshirt." It probably wasn't what she wanted to hear, but he certainly wasn't going to just back down from feeling that way about her. Turning so he was looking at her again his voice changed from his teasing tone. "We don't have to, but if you want to, you can talk to me. I'm willing to listen, and I won't judge."

It's not really you judging that worries me. Kaysen thought, but didn't say. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye when he bumped her shoulder. Drawing in a deep breath, she let it out slowly, at least feeling like she wasn't going to burst into tears at any given moment. That was probably a plus. She still probably looked like hell, all cry-face and whatever, but she couldn't help that. "Thanks, but...not right now." she said. If she was ever going to fess up to the fire elemental thing to Tad, it sure as hell wasn't going to be in the middle of school where just anyone could hear. Like the faculty who were still trying to find where the fire started. Which would be pretty lucky for them if they did, since it just kind of spontaneously happened.

Tad nodded and let the topic drop. If she wanted to talk to him she would. "You feeling any better? You seem a little better." He reached out with one hand to give her arm a slight squeeze, before looking away again. "He's an idiot, for dumping you," Tad mumbled at his feet.

Kaysen felt a little like she was missing something. She didn't say anything about the arm-squeeze, even if she thought it was strange. Not necessarily bad or anything, but just weird for someone like her. Then there was that last bit. "I dunno. Not really, but I'm not crying right now, so I'm calling it good." she told him honestly. "And no he's not. I'm like, the world's worst girlfriend." she added miserably. Yeah, reporting your boyfriend's mom to the authorities and shit really doesn't go over well. And that was only one of her faults.

"I doubt that. I'm sure you'd be a sweet girlfriend. He must not have been the right guy." The words were out before he could stop them and mentally he hit himself in the head. He was half telling her how he felt about her and he wasn't even sure if he felt that way. "Not crying is definitely an improvement. You gonna stay through the rest of the day or just bail?"

"...probably bail." she admitted. She just hadn't wanted to walk home in the cold. That would make her freeze--literally, and that wouldn't be cool. "And whatever. Sweet my ass. You've met me, right? I'm a bitch. I'm combative, I've got a temper that's really really fucking easy to trip over, I'm--look just trust me. I'm as far from being anything resembling a good girlfriend as you can get. I mean, the first time we kissed? Was right after I slapped the shit out of him." she informed Tad. Which was true. She'd cracked him one right across the face, and then he'd kissed her. "...he was the only guy." she dropped onto the end of her statement. Because she was most certainly of the impression that there wasn't ever going to be another one. Not for someone like her.

"At least you hit him before he kissed you and not after? You didn't hit him after did you?" Tad really was a masochist wasn't he? Granted he'd seen Kaysen wield a skateboard and was determined to not get on her bad side. "Don't ask me why, but trust me on one thing ok? He's not the only guy." He tapped his feet a few times on the stairs before moving on. "Want me to walk home with you? I don't have much of worth for the rest of the day."

"No, I didn't slap him after that. I was...y'know. Busy with the kissing thing." she said, blushing a bit. She didn't generally talk about this shit. She'd been absolutely mortified when her brother had brought it up. Holes in the earth never opened up and swallowed you when you wanted them to. "He really was. I've accepted that." she said, then drew in a breath and sighed. "If you want to, you can." she answered to his offer to walk her home. Really, she kind of wanted him to. She hadn't wanted company right now but since he'd imposed it on her, now she didn't want to be alone again so soon.

"What did I say about trusting me?" Tad's voice was teasing, even if it hurt him a little to hear she didn't think there was anyone else who could feel that way about her. That was a sad outlook on life. He stood up and moved down a step offering her his hand. "If we're getting the hell out of here we'd better go now." His grin was there and his eyes teased at the idea of their simple walk home being a complete adventure.

She eyed him a moment. "Crack. That's what you're on." she decided. But she took his offered hand after a hesitation, getting to her feet. She picked up her wet hoodie, and glanced towards the doors. "Well, let's grab our coats and shove off then." she said. She was thinking that her parents weren't going to be home. they'd still be at work, and probably wouldn't be the wiser. Probably. She was willing to risk it.

"Shove off! That's the spirit!" Tad's grin was still in place and he held on to her hand even though she was already up and started pulling her towards the doors. "And I'm not on crack. I am high on life." He eyed her in mock seriousness and gave her hand a squeeze. Grams would so kill him if she found out he'd ditched class the day before and now this afternoon, but it was worth it. He never lived on the edge of anything and suddenly he felt like he was.

"High on life?" Kaysen asked skeptically, though there was the faint hint of a half smile there for a second, the first since he'd arrived. She noticed he wasn't letting go of her hand and shit and wasn't sure what to do about it. "You're a weird, weird guy." she told him. But she didn't make it sound like that was necessarily an awful thing. She headed towards her locker and stopped there, opening it up to grab her jacket. She was still going to freeze. Her jeans were wet and her shoes and yeah. By the time she got home she was going to be a frozen kaysen-sicle. It wasn't going to be pretty. She was a fire elemental, she didn't do so well with the cold.

He caught the instant where she almost smiled and the ache in his stomach started to ease a little. "I have been called far worse things than weird," Tad reminded her. Once they were at her locker he begrudgingly released his hold on her hand. His locker wasn't far from hers, but it was farther away from any way out of school. "Stay here, I'll go get my stuff." Before she could protest he'd dashed off for his own locker, where he retrieved his coat and switched out a book or two then dashed back towards Kaysen, pulling his coat on the way. "Ready?" he asked once he was back at her side. With flushed cheeks and excited eyes he offered her his hand again. "Let's blow this popsicle stand."

Kaysen had shoved her wet hoodie in her backpack, and was not looking forward to freezing solid on the way home. He had her coat on and zipped up fully, hood of his hoodie up over her head, which was a bit big on her, so it dropped down almost obscuring her eyes. She noticed that he offered his hand, and she arched a brow at him. "Ghostal, if I hold your hand, and anyone sees it, it's going to a--give creedence to the fact that apparently I'm a total whore and less than ten minutes after I was broken up with Chance I was already with a new dude. B--that you've got some sort of stake in me and that's bad on a million levels, not the smallest of which will put you up for even more public mockery than you already deal with. And finally, c--no matter what people think, it'll get you your ass handed to you again by one or several people." she said, pushing past him. "So...don't go there."

Tad made a very dramatic eye roll at her break down of the rules even though she probably didn't see it as she was pushing past him. "And here I was hoping you'd help me out with the 'everyone's decided Tad must be gay' thing," he said sarcastically as he turned to catch up with her, hands safely hooked on his backpack straps. "You look kind of like an eskimo." He'd passed her and was walking backwards so he could watch her as they made their way out of the school. "Can you even see where you're going?"

"It's not my fault that your perfect soul mate is another dude." Kaysen said, having an easier time rolling with that than dealing with what her problems were at the moment. "And I watch where I'm going by staring at the ground in front of me. Generally that means I don't trip over anything." she said. "'Course, I could use you for a navigator. But something tells me that won't work out so well for you if you're totally not at all watching where the fuck you're going either." she pointed out since he was walking backwards. She reached out to snag the front of his coat and pulled as they got towards the steps. "now would be a good time for you to turn the hell around, Ghostal."

"My soul mate is not another dude..." he countered when she grabbed his jacket. He'd known the stairs were coming but he hadn't been expecting to be pulled forward and he sort of toppled a few steps in before he regained his balance. Of course that left him standing almost on top of Kaysen in some complete invasion of personal space. The slick thing to do would be do duck out of the her way but since Tad was inept in that department he just sort of froze. "Uh, hi." Yup just like he'd thought, he could very easily just rest his chin on her head.

She looked up at him. "Hi." she said. "You were going to fall, dumbass." she told him, then let him go and walked around him. "I'm so not up for cleaning your brains up off of the fucking steps." The steps she bounded down, and hey! She was already fucking freezing. Awesome. Just like she'd figured, her jeans froze damn near instantly. She was going to be numb by the time she got home. Fuck. Not cool.

"I was not going to fall," he said, bouncing down the stairs after her, relieved she'd let go of him before he'd blushed again. The need for sorting out all of his feelings was becoming dire, or he'd just have to live through being on the verge of flailing in panic whenever she looked at him the wrong (right?) way. He glanced over at her, worried about her drenched clothes given that he was pretty cold himself because she had his hoodie and all he had under the coat was a t-shirt. "You going to make it there? It's fucking cold out here."

"I'm not going to drop dead this very instant or anything." Kaysen said, even if she shoved her hands into her pockets and hunched against the wind. "And I'll have to. No other way to get where I'm going. It's just across town." Even if 'across town' sounded like one fuck-ton of a long way. "I'll be fine." she insisted, even if she was already thinking she was going to get sick pulling this shit. she just wasn't a damsel in distress type that wanted to own up to anything of the sort.

Tad fell into step next to her, closer than he normally would as if he could spread warmth that way. "Sure you will," he told her with the lightest hint of sarcasm that implied he didn't really believe her. "Give me a heads up if you're going fall over or something. It'd be my luck you caught me off balance and we'd end up sprawled on the pavement in some awkward position." A warm smile spread across his lips as he tried to catch her eye beneath his hoodie.

Kaysen shot him a Look, but it had less bite to it than usual. "Until you sprout boobs and I start calling you 'mom' you can just go right on ahead and curb the shit out of that overprotective motherly riff you've got going on." she told him. "And I promise if I fall over I'll do it snowbank-wise, I won't hit you up for breaking my fall." Shit. Her teeth were already starting to chatter. She was going to be fucking blue by the time she got home. This was just going to be a mark on her 'bad decisions' sheet, that was for damn sure.

If Tad wasn't careful he was going to start mistaking that Look she kept giving him as affectionate rather than seriously annoyed, but at least she was getting good use out of it. "There was no motherly or overprotective there, you're imagining that part. There was normalish protective, because your teeth are kind of chattering a little." He glanced around deciding they'd made significant progress from the school to be out of the line of sight of anyone who might give a damn. "C'mere," he told her as he reached out for her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders pulling her close to him.

Kaysen was a little too stunned for a moment to react. Her eyes went wide and she was still walking for a few steps as her brain tried to catch up with current events. "Ghostal? What the fuck do you think you're doing?" she asked, when she did recover enough. She found her voice anyways. Was she seriously walking down the sidewalk with some boy with his arm around her?! Was that actually happening? No, seriously, was that actually going down? Cuz...for serious now...she felt like the world had taken an abrupt left turn into the twilight zone.

"I am attempting to keep you from freezing to death," Tad told her, rubbing his hand up and down her arm trying to create some extra heat. "No funny business promise." He raised his free arm and part of the arm around her as he looked down at her with a look of both surrender and innocence. Sure it was kind awesome in its own way but Kaysen was obviously freezing, her jeans were icicles and this was far from the ideal cuddling situation, which kept him from really enjoying it.

"I'm pretty sure that shit only works if you're like, sharing body heat." Kaysen said. though he was blocking the wind, which meant it was slightly better than nothing. So she didn't shove him off or anything. Still, it was weird for her, she wasn't used to it, nor was she sure what to do about it. If anything.

It took Tad a moment or two to answer because her comment had sent his thoughts spiraling into bad thoughts territory. Given his train of thought though it was probably better than he wasn't answering right away. "You're probably right," he managed to half mutter without his voice cracking or shaking or some other such embarrassing nonsense. "I've gotta work with what I've got though. I don't think my coat is big enough for both of us." Alright so that last bit was a little suggestive, but she couldn't really blame him could she? He was a guy and occasionally he had very guy moments.

Kaysen, as oblivious as she could be, totally missed any suggestive sort of note to things. Really, it flew right the hell over her head. Whoosh! Yeah, the girl never expected anyone to be suggestive of anything towards her so it didn't occur in the slightest. "Yeah, really not on that. So...I dunno. Just block the wind." she said. Though it was shakey since her teeth were chattering.

"I can do that," he told her as he huddle in closer, doing his best to create a barrier between her and the wind. It was lucky she wasn't a very big person because he was kind of a smaller guy. "At least we aren't too far right?" They had made significant progress considering they were just walking. Plus Tad was trying to keep a good pace up, mostly out of concern for Kaysen and her chattering teeth.

Kaysen's prediction about being blue was turning out to be truer than she would like. Her lips were definitely turning that color, and she was absolutely miserably cold. It was not cool. Tad helped a little with what he was doing, but the fact of the matter was she was walking around in freezing weather with now frozen jeans. This was worlds of Not Good. She was going to be sick. She just knew it. "R-right." she managed after a bit. They had made it pretty far, but there were still a few blocks to go. "This blows." she added.

Tad was starting to get really nervous about Kaysen. She was turning blue for Pete's sake and it had him considering if he could make it the few blocks in just his tshirt so he could pile his coat on top of everything else she had on. "I know, but we're close, promise." He snuggled her deeper under his arm, not that it made a huge difference but at least he was in a better position if she tripped or her legs gave out from underneath her. "Do you want my coat to? Will that help?"

She turned her face to look up at him, giving him a kind of pale faximlie of her usual 'what the fuck' look. "Dude, it's freezing." she pointed out, trying to will herself to stop her teeth chattering--not that that worked out for her. "I'm f-fine! Stop worrying." she told him. Not that she thought he would. She guessed it was kinda sweet and such that he was being all mom-ish and weirdly gentlemanly.

"I'll stop worrying out loud." That was the best he could offer, because well he seemed to be a worrier. It was a recent trait he was noticing because he hadn't had much of a chance to use it until now. Which was all fine and dandy that his new best friend gave him something to worry about just short of every waking second. He really hoped this wouldn't take years off his life.

"You do that." Kaysen said. At least she could accept that. If he was going to fret and shit, fine, but she could do without hearing about it. Like two blocks now. She could even see her house up ahead. God, she was so fucking freezing. She was going to need a hot bath or something. And hot chocolate. And warm pajamas and about fifty blankets. Then she half wondered if Tad was sticking around after he walked her home. Her parents would be at work. Technically, he could. So long as he didn't mind waiting for her to get out of the bath, that was.

Tad's mind was actually in the same place as he spotted her house up ahead. If she'd let him stick around he'd feel more comfortable, knowing her body temperature was back up to normal and she'd get to keep all 10 fingers and toes. He stepped up the pace a tiny bit more, not wanting to drag her along but considering they could make it there faster if he just lifted her off the ground and carried her the rest of the way. Not that he was entirely sure he could that because he'd never done it before.

She walked a little faster, but that chaffed pretty bad with the frozen jeans thing and she wasn't so good at it. She half tripped and grabbed onto Tad to keep herself upright, which might have worked some other day, but she wasn't at her most coordinated. So down she went, falling flat on her ass with a squeak. Then a string of colorful swearing that lost some of its edge due to the teeth-chattering in it.

Not expecting Kaysen to go down or for her to grab onto him so, Tad essentially toppled with her, landing more on his knees than his backside. "You ok?" he asked with a wounded sound in his voice. His arm was still tangled around her so he was half leaning over her in this position. "I'm guessing that was my fault. Sorry."

Kaysen looked up at him and wondered how her falling head over tincups could possibly be his fault. Granted, any other day of the week she probably would have been more than able to blame him for that and like, everything else ever. But today she was being pretty down on herself in general. Today? Everything was her fault. End of story. "I'm fine, and don't be sorry--let's just get inside." she said, already scrambling back to her feet, thinking hey, at least since her ass was numb, she couldn't feel the ache of having landed on her tailbone. If she'd landed on it. Whatever, it would probably hurt way worse later.

He did his best to help her up from where he was with aching knees that were probably rubbed a little raw wherever they'd actually hit pavement. Standing to join her he winced a little at her odd reaction to his apology and the searing in his knees. He hadn't known her long but since they met she rarely missed an opportunity to point out where Tad had gone astray or to snap at him in some way. It left him wondering how messed up she was, both from the cold and that bastard Chance. It looked like he was still harboring some hatred for the guy, even though they'd never actually met. "Inside it is," he said half heartedly as they finally started into the last block to her house. He focused on them getting there and inside and not on the part of him that wondered how absolutely insane it was that he was concerned that she wasn't snapping at him.

Kaysen didn't say anything more until they were inside her house, and she had the door shut. she immediately kicked off her boots, and hung up her jacket, tugging Tad's hoodie off, it half pulling her shirt up some when she did it, and she tossed it over towards him. "I am so going to be taking a bath." she said, teeth still chattery so it came out slightly brokenly. "You wanna stick around, fine, just don't break anything. I'll not be that long. I don't think."

Tad's sweatshirt hit him in the face when she flung it at him because he was too distracted watching the bare patch of skin that she'd exposed pulling it off. "Huh?" It was the best answer he could muster as he scrambled to get loose of his sweatshirt and regain a normal thought process. "Right yea, I'll just be here. Or whatever," he babbled once what she'd said registered. "Your room?" It was a question without context, but his brain wasn't working right so he just figured he let her give it one.

"Sure, fine, just--don't go through things. Go play with Edison or something." she told him, heading for the downstairs bathroom. Sure, it wasn't her bathroom, but she could nab clothes from the laundry room and not have to deal with awkward situations like her heading into her bedroom only in a towel with a boy in there. That...really probably wouldn't be good. For either of them. He'd probably be scarred for life, not to mention her. Still, though. Part of her was appreciating not being alone. At least Tad's presence kept her mind fully occupied and engaged in something other than spinning her wheels on Chance.

"Right yea," he said again at her retreating frame. Once she was gone he had an overwhelming urge to band his head against the wall a few times. Instead he double checked to make sure the door was closed and shed his chucks, bag and coat, but holding on to the hoodie and making his way upstairs to her room to see if he could find the cat. Kaysen's room was just how it had been a few days before with the missing mirror on the dresser and a small cat head peeking out from under the bed at him. "Hey Edison," Tad called the animal as he half flopped on the bed like he lived there. After a moment he sat up and moved to the floor, leaning against the bed and coaxing the cat out. Edison must have recognized him because he came willingly and then crawled into Tad's lap. Petting the cat, Tad did his best to try and not replay scenes from earlier over and over.

Kaysen took her bath. It was the kind that kind of hurt at first, her body not really pleased with temperature differences, and she got teary eyed. Which she told herself was just the pain, and not at all Chance. But she was lying and she knew it, and she just...really needed to not be alone. Christ she was alone for like two minutes and she was already in tears. So, she sat there just long enough to feel like she'd thawed a little, and she washed up, using her mom's expensive bath stuff because it was the only stuff in there. Then she got out, headed to the laundry room and she got herself out pajamas. Right now felt like pajama time. So she got flannel ones out, that had slightly less embarrasing things on them than others--the pjs were black and they had pink skulls-n-crossbones all over them. Then she went to a closet on the first floor and got out a thick blanket, hugging it around herself before she went upstairs again. She'd not blowdried her hair or anything, not wanting to take that time which would just have her being alone longer. So it laid damp down her back, brushed out, but otherwise un-styled. Trudging into her room, she walked over and flopped onto her bed, mostly under the covers. God she hoped her face didn't show the evidence that she'd been crying again.

From where he was sitting on the floor next to the bed his head wasn't far from hers. She smelled like fancy girly bath stuff and her cheeks looked a little pink but he couldn't tell if that was from the warm bath or if she'd been crying again. Tad had an urge to crawl up on the bed next to her and hold on to her, but really wasn't sure how he'd even start to go about that let alone if that was allowed so he stayed where he was turning to face her and resting his chin on the edge of the bed. "Hey you," he said in a soft voice, just above a whisper. "Feeling better?"

Kaysen didn't answer right away, but ticked her gaze to his. She reached up and pulled the covers over her head properly, curled up into a little ball beneath the heavy blanket. It was dark under there. Dark and warmer than out in her room proper. Or, maybe it just felt that way because she wanted it to. "I feel less like hypothermia is setting in." she told him, voice slightly muffled from being under the blanket. And Chance was in here before. We made out on this bed and everything. And it's all over now and it's never going to happen again and I don't even want to think about being alone forever. she added mentally but couldn't say out loud.

"Less hypothermic is a good thing." Tad lifted the cat out of his lap and shifted so he was more on his knees at the side of the bed and tugged on the blanket so he uncovered her head. "Does you hiding under there mean you want me to go away now? 'Cause I can. Technically you're home safe, and you aren't freezing to death, so there's not much point of me staying longer." He give her a good out to get rid of him, but he really hoped she let him stay. "Unless you want me to stay."

She looked up at him at that, and her face showed that she was just miserable at the moment. She also wrestled with her answer, part of her wanting to snap at him because she wanted to lash out in general, another part of herself knowing full damn well that he didn't in any way deserve it. He was being really nice. He was being sweet. And there was the bit where she still didn't really want to be left alone to just bawl her eyes out for hours on end. "You could stay." she said quietly, going for middle ground on her wording. She couldn't quite bring herself to flat out tell him she wanted him to stay. It would leave her too vulnerable and she had all the open-wound-vulnerability she could stand just now.

He nodded, bitting on the inside of his lip to keep from completely losing it in that moment. Everything about her told him she was in pain and it took everything in him not to jump up and pull her close, swearing he'd always be there and he'd never hurt her like she was hurting now, or to leave and see if he could track down that scumbag Chance and try and tear him to shreds. After a deep breath or two he was able to pull most of his emotions under his control and he gave Kaysen a sort of half grin. "I can definitely stay." He did reach out and pressed his hand gently against her forehead, smoothing her hair back a little. "You're gonna be ok."

It was the strangest thing to have happen to her. The kind of gentle demeanor of Tad, and him pushing her hair back like that...yeah that just didn't happen to her, really. She wasn't used to it. It threw her enough that she kind of flailed there, not sure how to react. That little bit of confusion flickered over her features, even as she watched his eyes. "How do you know?" she asked, voice barely audible.

"Cause you are the strongest person I know," he told her in a matter of fact tone as he stood up from the floor. Doing his best not to really disturb her, he found a space on the bed to sit, tucking his feet under him. "Plus you're Skater Girl. Skater Girl can survive a broken heart and live to skate another day." Just for good measure he tossed in a small wink.

Kaysen watched him as he moved, and listened. "If I'm the strongest person you know, you definitely need to know better people." she said, drawing in a breath and letting it out slowly. She could feel a lump in the back of her throat. Not overwhelming, but there. "And I don't know. He's the only person who ever...ever liked me. Who ever really tried, and he tried. Like, tons. I probably gave him more shit than anyone ever and he was still around, and I just..." she bit at her lower lip and curled up a little more on herself. "And I lost him." she said quietly. Then she went on. "And who the fuck else is going to do that?" she asked rhetorically, voice gaining more strength, tough it was fueled by anger towards herself. "I mean seriously now, I am a bitch. I'm intolerant, completely fucking irrational, probably certifiably crazy, I blow hot and cold all the time and half the time I don't even recognize I'm doing it--" she broke off, sighing and deflating, momentary burst of anger spent.

"Well to be honest, I don't actually know a lot of people. It's sort of a neck and neck thing between you and Grams for strongest and but you seem a helluva lot tougher than she is. Granted she's like old, so that might be affecting my judgment." Tad listened to her talk about Chance, his selfish heart hurting in it's own way knowing she wouldn't see what he saw in her, and knowing full well that it didn't matter how he felt about her whenever he figured it out. She wouldn't see him in that light. He swallowed what little pride he'd had to begin with and told her the truth. "You are kind of impossible, but look? Porter's still around. He even gave you your own ringtone." There was a small pause before he went on, this time though his eyes left her face and focused on his lap. "Fuck, I'm still here. Technically you've been nothing but weird around me but I'm still here. I'll end up being around as long as you let me. Actually you could kick me out now and tell me you never want to see me again, and I'd go, but if you came back in a week or whatever and wanted to be my friend again I wouldn't even think twice about it. I'm no Chance, cause I'm weird and awkward and about as far from romantically interesting as it gets, but I'll gladly be your favorite punching bag." His words were heartfelt, although a little rambling. Tad was speaking from the part of him that considered Kaysen his best friend, the part of him that no matter what happened, how he felt, how she felt, was determined to stick around.

When Tad said the bit about his grandma being old and such, that got the weakest flicker of a smile, even if it died near immediately. The rest of what he said though had her frowning. She looked up at him from where she stayed curled on her side, though she shifted a touch more to her back, so she could quit cricking her neck. "...I don't want a punching bag." she said. "And I know, that like...being around me kind of signs people up for that in a way in the first place but that's not what I want." she said, hoping he understood that. God, maybe he didn't, and she would totally deserve anything he did think about what kind of person she was. "I don't...I don't mean to be mean." she said, and that lump was back, as she was overwhelmed by a huge wave of self-ick. It was in her tone, as it wavered at the end, and she abruptly stopped whatever else she might have said, by clamping her teeth down hard on her lower lip.

He didn't miss it, that pain in her voice, and it instantly had him back pedaling. "I know you don't mean it," he told her quickly, curls bouncing a little and hands reaching out for her without actually touching her. Truthfully he hadn't known that, he just took it as part of her. She wouldn't bullshit him, and she wasn't going to sweet talk him. But when you're the kid who everyone wants to beat up, it's refreshing to find someone who you know isn't trying to fuck you over in the end. "What I'm saying is I don't mind. Sure you can be mean, but I don't mind putting up with it." He chewed on his lip as he searched for something funny to say, something to make her smile, but he was coming up short.

"Well, that's bullshit, so don't. Don't just take shit from people, Tad." she said, opting for his actual name for once. "Just don't. Stand up for yourself. Even if it's to your friends. Maybe people'll stop one day, if they find out you're not going to take thier shit anymore." Which would probably get him even more beat up a couple times, but if he dished back well enough? She was willing to bet they'd leave him the fuck alone.

Tad raised an eyebrow at her when she shot back at him. "I said I'd tolerate your attitude and you roll that into me being everyone's favorite target? Plus it's not like I do what I can to stand up to those jerks. No one hits me and doesn't get mocked for it while their doing it. It just makes them hit me harder. Short of swinging back, which would be suicide given my size, do you have any other ideas?" He was a little put off by her tone, and his actual name being used. "Plus I figure I do a decent job at standing up to you."

"Swing back anyways." she said. "Mocking is bullshit, they won't hear it anyways, but throw a decent punch, maybe they'll puss out next time. I bet at least some of them would." Since boys were like that, a lot of the time. They liked to posture and shit, but they were the biggest goddamn babies ever with pain. "And you shouldn't have to with me, but yeah, you do. Not the point. The point is you don't get to sit there and tell me you'll willingly sign yourself up to be my punching bag, and not get talked to about that because that noise has got to stop." she insisted.

You're missing the part where I'd do anything for you, he thought, but for obvious reasons kept it to himself. "I'll make you a deal. If you actively try and believe me about Chance not being the only guy out there who's going to care about you like that, then I will try and stop being such a wuss in general." It sounded like a fair enough trade to him, considering his situation would probably end up getting his ass handed to him in more ways than one. He wondered if he could get away with keeping a chainsaw or spear hook in his backpack to ward off angry jocks.

Kaysen eyed Tad for a long moment then, eyes narrowing slightly in suspicion, but she couldn't find much fault in it. She couldn't see the trick, if there was one. "Fine." she said. "You need to quit being a wuss anyways so I guess if that does it..." she trailed off, curling up again on her side. "Why do you take it, anyways?" she asked, after a few long moments of silence. "I mean with me...I can't make anyone stop talking. They're going to anyways. Like as much as I'd like to go rip everyone's vocal chords out, I can't, so I can't stop people. But people beat on you. And you can drop a guy hard with a well placed shot to the nuts, which I'm sure you know, so...why take it? Just cuz you're scrawney doesn't mean shit. Take out the back of the knee and you can drop anyone down to below your level real fast too."

He didn't answer for a long while. Instead he propped his elbows on his knees and covered his face with his hands. In the past, Tad had only told one person about his feelings, the shrink he refused to see again. Not that the shrink had wanted anything to do with him after he'd told his story. There was something different here though, with Kaysen. He felt like maybe he could tell her why, the truth, and she might understand on some level. Maybe she wouldn't look at him with fear in her eyes. He slid his hands over this face and into his hair before finally looking back at her and answering her question. "Because I like it. The violence that it would take to bust those jocks up? I enjoy it. A lot."

That? Was so totally not at all in any universe the answer she expected. It had her sitting up again, staring at him as she rearranged the blankets around her shoulders. "...say what?" she asked, because she couldn't quite wrap her head around it. So yeppers, she needed to be dummy-sheeted on this one cuz dude.

Tad sighed a little and continued with his explanation. "I've always liked it. There's something about it that makes sense to me, and I have no moral issues with it. The cold, calculated violence, when you're hunting something is my favorite. It's why I'm so good live games like Halo I'm sure." He stopped for a second or two watching her to see if what he was saying was sinking in at all. "I've talked to like one other person about it and it scared the shit out of them. I don't like that aspect of my personality, it fucking scares me. I hate that I'd get more pleasure out of busting in jerks than they do out of busting me in. So I avoid it. I feed the urge with video games and I just take the beatings when they come. It's my own personal punishment for being so fucked royally in the head."

"...yeah that's fucked up." Kaysen agreed without thinking about it. Then she winced, at least recognizing she should have employed a little tact. "I mean...you like it? And hunting things like...hunting hunting? Like you go out every hunting season and kill shit?" Not that that would make him any different than say seventy percent of the male population of Marquette. They got school off for deer season. "I still can't back the punishment bullshit, I still think you should fight back, but...man. that's...Yeah. I don't fucking know." It was confusing, was what. It was difficult for her to kind of reconcile the idea of Tad in her head with that. He was really sweet to her, in his own weird way, and kinda a wuss. So that was a weird piece that seemed to come from a way different puzzle, and it just got mixed in by mistake.

"Welcome to my life," he mumbled under his breath. "No on the hunting, that's just cruel or whatever. I've never been around guns that I remember or whatever. Grams wouldn't even let me have toy guns as a kid. It's just...a feeling. I crave it sometimes. It's not seeped into the rest of my life outside of my taste in video games and literature, but some days I worry I've got a cold blooded killer living inside me." His breath came out a little ragged, but he was starting feel better with someone else knowing what he was thinking sometimes. "I'm not a violent person, or I try not to be. I don't want to be. It's just like there's this part of me that really could enjoy it, and feels like it could be really good at it." He reached forward catching a fold or two of her blanket in his hands and looking at her with wide eyes that seemed pained. "I swear I'm not a bad person Kayce, it's just I think I could be. And I don't want to be."

He's Chance's shadow-twin. was what went through Kaysen's mind. Because it wasn't like Chance hadn't been a violent type. He got into fights a lot. Started them, even. And yep. He had been fucked in the head too. She remembered feeling the scar on his head where the bullet had gone in. The bullet he'd put there deliberately. Maybe it was just a thing. Fucked up guys wanted to give her the time of day. Was that a trend? Two? Then there was Porter, but he was fucked in the head in a much less volatile way. It weighed heavy in the back of her mind as she listened, and she watched Tad's eyes when he told her that last part. "You think you might be a cold blooded killer way deep down." she said, tone a bit too light. "And you're not a bad person, and don't want to be...and..." she sighed, and reached up to drag her fingers through her hair, looking away. Edison was over on her windowseat, curled up on it and mostly napping. She could go for some nice sleep right now.

Tad watched her turn away from him and then dropped his eyes to his own lap, letting go of the blanket and silently packing everything inside himself. Already he was kicking himself for telling her, for not just avoiding the truth like he had every other time. It wasn't really who he was right? He kept it at bay and otherwise he was nice, sweet and somewhat weird Tad. Instead he had to go and point out his darkest secret and then watch her recoil from it. Not that he could blame her if she was recoiling. It's what he would do if he didn't know better. "I'm not going to explode and hurt you someday. If you were worried."

That had her looking back at him and she blinked. "That...hadn't actually occurred to me." she said honestly because that was the first thing that rose up in her otherwise reeling kind of headspace. "...so...I don't...I mean...this is..." she drew in a deep breath and let it out. "son of a fucking bitch I suck at this shit okay?" she said, seeming to come out of herself a little after the screaming wtf of it all. "But whatever, it's not like I'm going to start thinking you're a serial killer or anything and if you ask me if you know it's fucked up in the first place and don't want to do that then it means you're not as fucked in the head as you could be because at least you've still got a moral compass that works." she added. "I think it's messed up, yeah, but lots of shit is messed up. Lots of people are messed up. I'm messed up. So I can hardly hold that against you when you're just being honest."

"Thanks," was all Tad could muster because he wasn't entirely sure what else to say. Through it all though, the urge to really hurt someone on purpose hadn't come up, and he felt relieved in that. When he started thinking about torturing people then he would really start to worry. Although the more he thought about the people (and things) who hurt people like Kaysen, the more he wanted to give into it and just wreak havoc. Just that overwhelming urge to keep the the bad things where they belonged in the dark.

Kaysen was quiet for a moment, then went with her gut. "Thanks for being honest." she said in return. "...I don't like bullshit." Just to give him the clear go ahead to be honest all the time. Just because something was messed up didn't mean she was going to abruptly disown anyone. She liked Tad, and this was just more about him, it didn't change who he was. Or, that was what she was telling herself. That was her story and she was sticking to it, goddamnit.

"I never would have pegged you for the liking bullshit type anyway," Tad pointed out. Finally brining his eyes up he spotted her pjs which he was surprised that he hadn't noticed before. "These are adorable," he told her a smile playing on his lips as he reached for her arm and grabbing hold of the sleeve.

Having him draw attention to her pjs kind of reminded her she was in them at all. Which had her flushing red, and she suddenly cared a lot less about being warm and comfortable and she was wondering if she probably shouldn't have put normal clothes back on. Shit. "Um...thanks." she said awkwardly, self conscious. She was also aware of him being on her bed in her room in a house that was empty except them and the cat. "Think I'm probably going to lie down." she said, not really wanting to be alone any more than she had five minutes ago, but she was thinking about all the shit people said about her. They'd eat this up if anyone ever found out. Chance'd kick Tad's ass bad if he found out. Probably. Maybe not, she didn't know, but she didn't want to risk it either. Tad was just being nice he didn't really deserve to get his ass kicked over it.

Tad was suddenly aware of all the same things, that it was just the two of them, what she was wearing and here they were on her bed, him holding on to her. Instead of letting go though, he just sort of held on, knowing he'd have to leave soon and wishing that wasn't the case. The walk back to his place wasn't exactly short and the gravitational pull that Kaysen had on him was intoxicating. "I guess I should head out then huh?" he asked but he made no motion to actually leave.

She noticed that he said it but didn't move. She'd pulled that a few times in her life, and it usually ment she didn't really want to do whatever it was she was suggesting. So, she assumed that could play into Tad's case at the moment. Which probably meant even more so that he should, because...her head was a mess right now. And while she wanted to talk to him about what he'd revealed to her, maybe now wasn't the time. Especially when if she gave herself even like, two minutes without thinking about something else, her brain went immediately back to Chance and everything there. The loss. Fuck. "Probly." she mumbled.

"Yea." His tone came across as sadder than he'd expected. Letting his hand slide down her arm to hold her hand, he got up from the bed. He stood there for a moment just watching her, wishing he could hug her goodbye, or kiss her forehead or something equally as romantic, but that wasn't him. He'd never be that guy. Instead he settled for squeezing her hand tightly. "You know where to find me if you need something."

Again she was struck with the feeling that this was just weird. Like she'd stumbled into someone else's life, and hadn't really caught onto the transition til now. It was just...she didn't even know. Weird. She didn't know how to deal with it, respond to it. She was sure there was a way, it was just she didn't know it. Because this wasn't how her life went, so....yeah. Whoever's life she'd started having, that girl would know how to deal with this shit but Kaysen St. James sure as hell didn't. "Yeah, I...I'll see you sometime soon." she said. Which she meant, even if she didn't know how she'd come across him next. Or when.

"Of course you will," he told her releasing her hand and pulling his hoodie over his head. His grin was back as he shoved his hands in his pockets and headed towards the door. Stopping just short, he turned back. "You are going to be ok Kayce. I know you will." Tad backed out of the door watching her until he reached the stairs where he turned and headed out.