Deciding on a Change

Who: Olivia and Judiel
When: evening
Where: Judi's Apartment

Judiel waited until twilight before he emerged from the abandoned house he'd taken shelter in the night before. He was on the outskirts of Marquette, and the snow had been daunting. He'd barely found a place to hole up before the storm had really hit, and was just thankful he had some matches on him. The small fire he carefully built and the furs on his back kept him alive and unfrost-bitten. And then it cleared and he heard them plowing the roads. Still, he waited for nightfall to come again, huddled in his little shelter. He looked a sight, skinny and unshaven, and wearing only animal pelts. Even in Marquette, that would draw attention. So he waited, humming songs quietly to himself to pass the time. Humming and dreaming of Olivia.

There was a part of him that didn't quite trust that he was back at all, that perhaps this was just another illusion, another dream. But the nauseating -- but short, thankfully -- trip through the gate a few miles away had felt real enough, and the cold against his skin, and the weariness in his limbs ... they were loudly present. He'd trekked, walking through the woods and snow, many layers of skins wrapped around his feet and legs. And now that dark had come, it was time to trek again. He thanked the gods it wasn't as far this time. He was ready to collapse.

He kept to the shadows as he went, breath wheezing lightly in his lungs, using familiar landmarks to bring him home. He waited for a while outside of the Tourville building, alternately looking at the white fog of his breathing and the light and movement in his apartment window. Only one person, as far as he could tell. He had no idea how long he'd been gone, and there was the chance that it was another tenant. That they'd rented his apartment out. Or there was the chance it was Olivia.

Eventually Judiel, exhausted, starving, and at his breaking point, decided to take that chance. He slipped into the building and hurried up the stairs to his floor, praying that no one would pick the wrong moment to come out their front doors. Once he'd reached his, he knocked, not wanting to scare her by just trying to barge in. If it was her. If this was even the right place and time.

Olivia was indeed the person occupying Judiel's apartment. After being stuck all day with Jules and Aiden - Jules she hadn't minded in the slightest - she had wanted to get out of the house as soon as the roads were plowed and she was able to. The only place she had wanted to go was Judiel's. To see if maybe he was home... though she knew those odds were slim. It had felt almost far too long now since he'd gone into the Dreaming, and she wasn't sure now if he was coming back. Either by choice, or not.

Still, she dusted down his apartment, made the bed she had slept in for most of the past two weeks and sat down, finally deciding that maybe it was time she called his parents and told them what happened. They were Muses, right? Maybe they could find Judiel and bring him home.

The knock at the door startled her and she couldn't keep the strangled gasp from escaping her lips. Staring at the door from her place on the sofa, she wondered if maybe the landlord had finally decided to check on his tenant... demand rent or something. Olivia licked her lips and took a breath before standing and walking over to the door. Unlocking it, she pulled it open and then froze. Her lips parted to speak, but no words came out. All she could do was stare.

Likewise, all he could do for a moment was stare back to her. Judiel didn't think he'd ever seen anything so beautiful ever in his long life. Because it was her, it was Olivia, and she was in his apartment and she just looked so good. Like home. Gods, he was home. A spasmy sort of smile crossed his face and disappeared again. He knew what he must look like -- harrowed, dirty, and like some sort of caveman. "'Livia ..." he started, and gave a dry cough. That was as far as he got, his body taking over and moving before he could think about it, stepping forward and pulling her roughly into his arms to cling to. Judiel squeezed his eyes shut and gave a shaky half-laugh into her hair. She smelled like heaven.

Caveman was probably the first word that raced through Olivia's mind. But it wasn't a caveman, it was Judiel. She gasped when he grabbed her, but it was okay because it was Judiel and he was hugging her and he was alive and home. Olivia wrapped her arms around him and squeezed, still trying to get past her initial shock. She needed to say something! Even if she had to force the words out. "You're home. I feel like I've been waiting forever..." He was home! And dressed in skins and... "Are you okay?" she asked, coming to her senses now and pulling back to look at him. "Oh my god... come inside and sit..." She wanted to get a good look at him. Get him some clean clothes and make sure he didn't need a hospital.

Though he didn't want to let go of her, Judiel didn't fight the whole 'come in and sit' idea. He wanted nothing more than to sit down on something soft, and the couch was right there. As he came in he pushed the door closed behind him and locked it. He wouldn't have been able to articulate the relief he felt just to do that simple thing if someone had had a gun to his head. He shrugged the pelts off of his shoulders and let their wet weight slump down to the floor, and then started unwrapping the ones he'd fashioned around his torso. It was warm in the apartment, but he was shivering. Still, he had to get them off. That done, he flopped down onto the couch, crossing his arms over his chest. He'd lost weight, and it was obvious. "I'm okay," he told her, voice sounding a bit rusty. "How long was I gone?"

She could tell he'd lost weight, but she resisted running into the kitchen to make him a sandwich. That would come in a second. There were other things he needed. Like clean clothes... warm ones. Then food. Then explanations. "Hold on," she managed, running a hand over his hair before she turned and hurried down the hall to his room. She found a t-shirt and a hooded sweatshirt, a pair of boxers, jeans and thick socks. She carried everything in her arms and came back into the living room where he was sitting. "You were gone... two weeks exactly, today." It felt longer. Like an eternity. She set things down on the couch beside him, wanting to help if he needed it. "Put these on... you're freezing and you need some warmth. I'll make you some food... you're probably starving."

He was starving. He'd eaten some, but not nearly enough for all the walking he did. Obediently, Judiel sat up straighter and started pulling on the clothes she'd brought for him. The shirt and hoodie came first, then he leaned down to start untying and unwrapping the skins he'd fashioned into boots. They were wet and felt far colder now that he was in a warm apartment. Once they were left in a stinking pile, he got into the pants and socks and then flopped backwards again, just a little out of breath. "Two weeks," he murmured, almost to himself. "Only two weeks." It had felt like months to him. Literal months. Time in the Dreaming didn't run the same. Before Olivia could get too far away, he snagged her wrist and pulled on it, wanting her on the couch with him for a moment. "C'mere first," he said. Food could wait for a second.

Only two weeks. It had feel like a lot longer. A lot longer. She went to him willingly, joining him on the couch and shifting so that she could wrap her arms around him. "I was beginning to think you weren't coming back," she murmured. "I waited for you and you didn't come back... and I didn't know what else to do." She wondered where he had come out of... Mt. Shasta's Dreaming gate? Or here in Marquette? "How long have you been back?" Olivia asked. "I mean, where was the gate when you came back through to this side?"

Judiel wrapped his arms around her and let out a slow breath. It was good -- so good -- just to hold her, and he didn't want to move from that spot for hours. Her smell soothed him, made him sleepy instead of exhausted, and he wanted nothing more than to just eat something, and go curl around her in bed, and sleep for a few days. "A couple of days," he murmured the answer to her question, shaking his head ever so slightly where it was nestled against her. "It was ... west, somewhere. Really isolated. I had help getting to it, but ... not close enough." But gods, he didn't want to talk about Over There. "Have you been all right?" he asked, pulling back enough to look at her.

West. He must have had quite a journey back. But that didn't matter now. What did matter was that he was home and alive. She had never felt so much relief before in her life. Olivia looked at him and lifted a hand to the side of his face, brushing her fingertips over his cheek. "I've been okay... worried sick, but otherwise okay. I was trying to find the closest gate, but I knew I couldn't go in myself to look for you. It was driving me insane. I felt completely... useless. Helpless." Olivia sighed. "I didn't know if I would ever see you again. But you're here and I can't even describe how relieved I am."

He gave her a faint smile and just looked at her for a moment. Even through all the trippy, strangely beautiful sceneries in the Dreaming, he couldn't imagine anything better than her face. It was exactly what had kept him walking, and working to get home. "I'm here," he repeated, as if to reassure her that that was, in fact, true. He sat up just enough to kiss her softly, and then relaxed again. "And there's something I need to speak with you about. But first ... that food you mentioned does sound ... better than good, absolutely necessary." He smiled a bit, almost apologetically.

"Sure... let me get you something to eat." She arched an eyebrow inquisitively, but didn't pretty him. He was hungry and she wanted to get him food. Although while she got up from the couch and went into the kitchen to fix him a sandwich or two, she wondered what he needed to speak to her about. She had a lot of things weighing on her mind, most of which was the book Dorian had let her borrow. About Muses. And their traditions. God, wouldn't that suck? To get him back and have him break up with her all in one day. She wouldn't blame him for it, but... it still made her stomach queasy to think about. Olivia got to making him some food, using the food she had bought from the store the day before since most of his in the fridge had gone bad. She made two club sandwiches with fresh deli meat, and cut up some apple slices. It wasn't gourmet, but it was food. Carrying it back out to him, along with a glass of water, she handed him the plate and sat back down, not wanting to seem impatient or push him into talking when he ought to be eating.

He realized that it was kind of unfair to say something like that and not launch directly into it, but he'd spent so much time in his own head that Judiel knew exactly what he wanted to say, and it had to be the right progression. He waited for the food, halfway dozing on the couch, only sitting up straight when she came back with it. It could've been dirt with sugar on it and he would've reacted the same way. Which was to dig immediately and voraciously in, hardly chewing what was in his mouth before adding to it. He luckily remembered to breathe in the middle of all that, but soon enough every crumb was gone and he was draining down the rest of the water. He was warming up now, but still felt like he had a year's worth of dirt caked on him. But there were other things to attend to first. Setting the glass and plate aside, he took Olivia's hand and looked at her. "Thank you, first of all," he told her.

"You're welcome," Olivia said, lacing her fingers through his and squeezing gently. "I can make more if you want? Uhm, I bought ice cream yesterday too. And some vegetables and those frozen pizzas you like..." She had been hoping still, against odds, that he would be coming back. "Or do you want me to start a hot shower for you? You're probably exhausted... you need some proper sleep." He looked exhausted. And thin. She felt small slivers of guilt creep in, for what he had to go through, even though logically she knew it wasn't her fault.

Her intent need to take care of him made him smile a bit, and Judiel shook his head. Yes he wanted a bath -- and possibly a shower on top of it -- and proper sleep. But he had to get her to agree to something first, before he'd ever be able to really sleep. His fingers squeezed her's back lightly and he shook his head just a bit for the time being. "We need to talk first," he said gently. Then wet his lips. "I've ... I had a lot of time to think, and ... things aren't getting better. They're getting worse and more weird and wrong, and that gate was just ... one example, and out here is so ... isolated-feeling ... I dunno how to really say this, so I'm just going to ... Olivia ... would you ever consider moving back out to California with me? I just ... I need to be near my family, I think, things that I know, and I want to get you out of here. Get both of us out." He looked at her imploringly, really hoping this wasn't an impossible idea.

Since she had been expecting bad news, Olivia found she couldn't really do much but sit there and stare at him. He wanted to move to California. With her. California, where he had disappeared. But his family was there and he was right, things weren't getting better in Marquette. And Olivia knew, deep down, they were only going to get worse. But moving to California with Judiel was a huge deal, at least to her. It meant living together. Olivia realized she hadn't responded yet and she forced herself to speak. "Move to California? I... " She released a shaky breath and ran a hand through her hair. "You really want me to go with you?" She was probably crazy for even considering it, but it certainly wasn't sending waves of panic through her like it might have months ago.

He didn't take that as a great sign. In all of his walking-imaginings, he'd more thought she would cry 'yes, yes!' and throw herself into his skinny arms. Of course, he had a tendency to over-dramatize, and he'd been missing her like oxygen, so that could've been where that came from. "More than anything," he told her, his expression completely serious. And a little worried. What if she didn't want to go? Could he really go without her? Could he really not go? The way he felt currently, he wanted nothing more than to leave Marquette completely behind, go home, and gather his strength there. Muse traditions be damned, he wanted Olivia to come with him. It would be hard, but it was better than the alternative. He couldn't stay there.

Olivia swallowed and glanced down at her hands before she lifted her gaze back up to his face. She was officially crazy now. But that was okay, since she was pretty sure she could handle this kind of insanity. She inhaled deeply before reaching out to touch his face again. She really had nothing holding her to Marquette now but for him. So where he went, she would go too. "I love you," she said, the words feeling foreign on her tongue, but right. It scared her. A lot. He was immortal, and she wasn't. And she would eventually devote her life to someone else, love or not, but she did love him and she had realized that while he had been gone. "And I don't want to be without you, so... yes, I'll go with you."

Relief flooded through Judiel. Relief and a joy that was just ... incredibly light. Despite the full beard he'd managed to grow, and the fact that he felt like he hadn't brushed his teeth in ages, he smiled a smile that lit him completely up. And then he was pulling her to him again, to hold tight in his arms. "I love you too," he said, the sentiment coming out quite a bit more fierce than he intended. He'd said it to her before he'd gone into the cave, but somehow it meant more this time. "You're the only thing that got me back," he added in a murmur, clinging to her. And now she was coming home with him, and whatever came out to California, they would weather the darkness together.

He had said it once before, but it felt different now. Since he was there, and she could see him, and he wasn't disappearing into another dimension. Olivia shifted and kissed him, her hands sliding back into his hair. He came back for her. She wasn't prepared for how that made her feel, only that it made her feel good. Pulling back, Olivia released a small breath and smiled. "When do we leave?" She didn't really care about putting notice in at Babylon. She was sure Eris would understand. And she had left the diner awhile ago. Jules would be okay with it too... she was sure of that.

"As soon as you can and we can get packed," Judiel said, meeting her eyes, with a mixture of love and relief in his gaze. They were leaving, she was actually going to go with him. Back home, to at least the terrain he knew, and people who could support them. His mother wouldn't be happy about it, but at the moment, he couldn't care less. "When can you leave?" he asked, reaching one hand up to stroke his fingertips along the side of her face.

"As soon as we're packed," Olivia replied, leaning into his touch. "I'll talk to Jules, and then maybe when we're leaving we can stop by Babylon and I'll inform Eris." She eyed him with concern. "Are we driving? Are you going to be able to do that? You need some sleep... more food... you're probably exhausted. I would volunteer to drive, but I tried it when I left Mt. Shasta, and I have to say, I'm not that good at it." It was easier to worry about that stuff than to really sit there and think about moving across the country with him. Her heart was still pounding, but in an anticipatory, excited way.

"Tomorrow, we should go tomorrow," he said, having to smile a little bit at her enthusiasm. Maybe this would be good, maybe it'd be the best thing for them. "Let's fly. Fuck the car, I can leave it here." And he could pack everything he really needed in carry-able luggage. The rest he could have shipped later, or just leave, whatever. Judiel honestly couldn't care less about most of his stuff at the moment. He grinned at her tiredly, letting his head fall back against the couch. "I need a shower more than anything right now," he said. Tomorrow? Was going to see him feeling worlds better, he had a feeling.

"Yeah, you're stinky," Olivia teased, leaning in to kiss his cheek again before she stood. "Come on... let's get you in the shower. Then you're going to bed... we can pack and everything tomorrow." She just wanted to lay down with him and cling for awhile. The fear that he would never come back had exhausted her, and having him back now had thrown her for a loop. A good one. Tomorrow was going to bring about a lot of change, and she figured they both needed their rest for it.

"Yes ma'am," Judiel said with a soft chuckle, working on standing up with her. It took him a second, but he made it, and steadily enough. He took her hand and started the arduous journey back toward his bedroom -- his bedroom! -- and the bathroom beyond. He could almost feel the hot water beating down on his shoulders already, and gods, he couldn't wait for it. Couldn't wait for everything. Change was upon them, and he couldn't help but think it was going to be absolutely the best thing he'd ever done.