Decisions of Return

Who: Dean and Thia
Where: his parent's house, England
When: Morning

Dean had hardly slept all night. He never slept well here, but even taking that into account, he'd hardly slept all night. Not that Thia had really been sleeping any better - she'd been tossing and turning all night and he'd finally woken her just after dawn to tell her that he was going, that he'd be back.

He'd walked for a long while, trying to get his head straight about things. About everything that had happened last night - so much had happened last night. About Andy, about his entire life to this point, about people, about everything. And about the fact that he'd sat with his back against an oak tree just down from the railway bridge and watched a ghost under the bridge. Not that the ghost was doing anything, she was just.... there, dressed in clothing that looked half a century old, a school bag over her shoulder - she couldn't have been much older than him when she'd died.

He'd thought he had a couple of things slightly straighter when he'd called at Stu's house, wanting to catch the guy before he went to school. Stu's mum had been shocked to see the state of him. Stu had been anything but. After all, the guy had seen Andy last night.

Andy who had, apparently, spun a very different tale from the truth. Dean had asked Stu for Andy's side of things, had sat there quietly and listened to Stu talking. Had said nothing until the point that Stu had finished and then added on a request to know what really happened. Turned out, Stu hadn't actually entirely believed Andy's tale. It hadn't sat well, not with what Stu knew of Dean, with what Jen had heard from a distraught Katie, what they both thought about Thia. Something hadn't seemed right. And then, once Dean quietly told Stu what he'd found - leaving out the part about how Thia had gotten away from Andy - Stu had firmly expressed the opinion that he wished he'd been there, for no other reason than to hold the guy, make him a better target. Andy had crossed the line, there was no doubt about that.

Dean had talked to Stu for a long time - until the guy had to get off for school, catching a later bus than he normally would have. And then, Dean headed home, his parents already left for work, the house almost empty. He headed upstairs, hoping Thia would still be there as he walked into the room.

She was. She had gotten up for a little while. Took a bath. So she smelled nice, anyhow, her hair still just a little damp. But she'd just...kind of felt the neurotic need to. She'd also flipped through the stations on television, hearing different, varying stories and explanations about the whole spirit thing the night before, but...it also looked like it hadn't actually stopped. She had texted Billy, who hadn't got back to her, unsurprisingly. Then she'd texted Oz, who had been up. They'd texted back and forth a little, he hadn't known anything was going on, but looking on tv there, it was clear it had definitely happened there too. They'd both noted an influx of religious programming, talking a whole lot about the holy spirit and all. She'd shut it all off, and gone back upstairs to curl up, promising Oz they were okay, and to pass on the word. She'd closed her eyes, though that hadn't helped out a lot. Currently, she was alternately playing with the charm bracelet around her wrist, and taking a ring she'd bought for Dean when he hadn't been looking when they'd been out getting her collar and costume and such. She'd been going to wait to give it to him, but thought maybe she would today instead. She didn't hear him as he entered the room, her back to the door.

Dean headed over to her, toeing off his boots and climbing onto the bed behind her, his arms going around her waist. "Hey," he said, softly, resting his chin on her shoulder so that she could definitely hear him. He wasn't feeling particularly loud today, so he'd counter that with closeness. It was a good excuse anyhow. "I'm back."

Thia closed her eyes, and felt a rush of relief. Tension she'd been carrying tight in her frame eased a little. Not fully, but a little. She shifted back against him some, Not saying anything for a few moments as she allowed herself to just be overwhelmingly relieved he was back. God, she didn't want to be being this clingy. She didn't. But...it was there. She slid one arm over his, to squeeze his arm around her tighter. "How did everything go?" she asked, her own voice soft. Not very loud, though not so quiet she had to speak more slowly.

"It... went okay," Dean told her. He fell silent for a few long moments, before continuing. "Andy tried to sell things another way to Stu last night, but the guy's got a brain. He knew something was up. This - this isn't going to go any further." By which he'd meant that he and Stu had decided that. Apparently Andy had been in a pretty bad way last night. No breaks, or concussion - as far as they knew - or anything, but he'd been hurt pretty bad. Enough that Dean could have got into trouble for it. But they'd agreed that Stu would make sure that if Andy decided he wanted to make anything from it, Stu'd be there to point out how much more trouble Andy could be in for what he'd tried to do.

She half turned her face towards his, but not fully around to face him or anything. She kind of wanted to, because she wanted to check him over, see if he was okay, if he needed ice, if he'd taken anything. She'd left out a glass of water and aspirin on the bedside table, but didn't know if he'd seen it. And she'd tell him in a minute. She had to decide for a second how she felt about what he'd said. In the end she nodded. "Good." she said, voice soft. "Dean are you okay?" she asked. "Can I do anything, can I...do you need anything? I got you aspirin..."

He shook his head. "I took something earlier." He hadn't seen what she'd left out for him, but he'd found some more pills downstairs, taken them instead. "I'm - I'm fine, Thi." He paused, before continuing. "I'm more concerned about you," he told her, hugging her to him a little more.

She wasn't sure about how fine he might be. This had to be messing with him, and in rather large proportions. It had been his best friend. And he'd...completely gotten fucked over. Long term, even. So she was concerned. Very concerned. But then she knew she wasn't okay either. She actually was pretty far from okay. "Are you sure? I know...this...with Andy, and he..." she started, not even sure how to word it. She was generally better at wording, but right now it failed her a little. How did you really go about talking about how his best friend had entirely fucked him over? How so many of the issues she'd been working very hard to ease, had probably been put in place by Andy, and nurtured for their formative years? Just that thought made her want to find him and hit him again. But Dean had already beaten the guy bloody. There wasn't anything she could do to really hand down retribution more.

"I'm more concerned about you," he told her, again, not denying this time that maybe he wasn't fine. It was just down to priorities, at the end of the day and he'd known she had been putting aside issues lately so that they could deal with his, but not today. Not for this. He'd been worrying about her, about everything all night, he'd dealt with his shit in a cursory manner already today - the rest could wait.

She smiled, the faintest little bit. She closed her eyes again, letting herself breathe for a few moments. "I'm not the one who bled." she said. "You know how I get. I just want to take care of you." she said, though it was more just her telling him that she wasn't going to forget she was worried, or that she'd quit fussing over him. But, she did start talking. Not necessarily about what she needed to, but she needed to work herself up to it a little. "I looked on tv. There's a lot of different explanations going on. I texted Oz. He said the same thing's going on there. Lots of religious programs on today. ...sort of a silly amount. I just...shut if off and came back to bed."

"I've bled before," Dean reminded her. Not that it made it better, or worse - he still hurt like hell today, plus he could only actually see properly out of the one eye. The swelling would go down though, given time. He wasn't going to mention his ribs - she'd seen the start of the bruising last night in the shower. And on his legs where Andy'd resorted to kicking him. The cuts on his face, the spilt lip - that was all self-evident. But nothing was broken, nothing needed stitches. He'd had worse. She'd been there for that. "I saw a ghost - a girl under the railway bridge - the one up by the field, along the footpath. She was just.... standing there. Not even confused or anything, just there, like the rest of the world didn't exist. I watched her for a while. She didn't move."

She frowned lightly, looking off at the window, picturing it. "It doesn't seem to have stopped." she observed, confirming what she'd figured from seeing things on tv. "That's...I don't know what that is." she decided. Possibly bad. Possibly just weird. She didn't know. "Guess we'll have to see." she murmured. And you're stalling. she told herself. She'd get to it. She would, she would. She just...still needed a second.

"We will," Dean said. He had more to say on the subject, he'd been thinking, but that would deflect the conversation, that would send it reeling away from her, and he didn't want to do that. He wanted to give her the chance to talk, so, for now, he left it at that. They'd come round to the rest eventually - they always did, after all.

She was quiet again. For a good three, four minutes before she spoke again, realizing that okay. she needed to get this started now. She didn't especially want to, but--yes, had to. One thing she was grateful for though was that he wasn't pushing her hard or anything. He was waiting. She appreciated that a lot. "I was dreaming about the vampires again." she started with. "But the dream changed, Andy was there too. I don't know. That's what it reminded me of. When he kind of just...wouldn't let go." She realized that they hadn't spoken that much about those moments before she'd died for the second time. Now it was kind of relevant, though.

"Yeah?" Dean asked her, shifting a little, making sure that although he was still holding her, it wasn't too tightly or anything. Hating that he felt the need to even have those thoughts. But he didn't know what to do here. He didn't even really know what had happened last night. Last night he hadn't needed to know any more to react the way he did, but this morning - it was very different this morning.

She nodded, a slight bit, and she shut her eyes again and left them closed. "Yeah, it was just--it felt the same. That idea that someone was holding me against my will, wouldn't let go. And with the things he said, like how that must be how I---" she didn't finish the statement. She'd said so last night, right? Hadn't she? Maybe she hadn't. She didn't remember, it was kind of jumbled, especially with how the night ended. "Like he was just enjoying it or something. Like they were. It just...heavily smacked of that and brought up those feelings."

Dean closed his eyes, feelings of guilt welling up from inside. This had been from his best friend, from the guy he'd known all his life - or thought he'd known. But then again, hadn't they been talking? Hadn't he and This been talking about how nobody here really knew Dean? Not really, not really knew him - they'd seen something else, they'd seen the guy that put forward an image just to fit in. So, if they hadn't known him, why could he imagine that he was the only one. He bit back the apology though - it didn't belong here.

She waited for a response from him, but he didn't give one. Which, really, could be expected. What was there to say, really? She hugged his arm tighter around her, though, curling up a little further. "I've never been in a situation like that before. Ever. I've never had to be afraid of anyone like that, or wary, or even consider--and I'd been trying to tell myself that I'd just been hard on the guy. Like I had just...gotten the wrong impression." So next time she'd be trusting her instincts. "I mean, I've always had guys as friends, I've never...that's just never happened to me."

"I... If I'd've even thought... I wouldn't. We wouldn't... But... I never even imagined that... I trusted him," Dean said in the end. "I shouldn't have." He wouldn't be doing again. Ever again, but it was too late - he hadn't learned in time.

"There wasn't any reason for you to think that." she said right away. "Why would you? I mean...the guy--" She didn't know what to say there. Was his best friend? Is? Was, probably. She still had some pinch of deep fear that he was going to find a way to forgive Andy, and blame himself. "He didn't exactly show anything but some nice guy side. If anyone should have thought twice about it, it should have been me, because I knew he had shady tendencies." And there was a note of recrimination in there. "I'm just...I feel really, really stupid. If I'd just done what I wanted to then, or if I'd thought about it more with him, and..."

"This isn't you fault, Thia," Dean told her firmly, immediately. "I've known the guy for thirteen years. And you knew that. He came with my recommendation. A few weeks of there being the occasional thing that didn't make sense against that... And if I didn't get that, in all that time... There's no way you could have done," he told her.

But I did. I didn't like the way he talked to you from the start. I had a bad kind of feeling about him since before we even got here. she thought. "Your recommendation, yeah, but I don't--I love you, but I can definitely think for myself. I wanted to get along with him, because things were far easier that way, and I didn't want there to be this stupid...thing where your best friend and your girlfriend were at odds. But that wouldn't change how I felt about him in general, or thought about him." she explained. And she still twitched over referencing Andy as his best friend. But then again, it was the same twitch she'd had before, that possessive little streak of 'no, my best friend'. "There were things I didn't like, things that didn't add up, but then he would seem okay for a while, too. I don't know. He's good, I wager. I think he's been fooling everyone for a really long time. I just--" this completely hopped issues, but she couldn't quite stop herself. She felt passionate about it, and that came through in her voice. "When I started putting it all together, I was just so--I haven't been that angry in a while. Because he just--the things he did to you. And I..." Tension was strung through her frame again. She was angry. She just didn't know what it said that she was more angry about the things that Andy had done to Dean, the long term damage--that that anger was so ready to boil up to the surface, to be right there. But the anger over what he'd done with her...maybe there were stages. But she still held a lot of blame for herself on that.

Dean lowered his head, placing a kiss on her shoulder where it met her neck, holding that there for a moment before he moved back to where she'd be able to hear him better. "I know you can think for yourself, Thia. I meant that because of me you'd do what you did - you'd give him the benefit of the doubt. That that was only natural." He didn't say anything about Andy and him. Not yet, not now. That was switching subjects and Dean wasn't willing to do that.

She appreciated the kiss. It actually served to ground her a little better, and she shifted, just a little more in against him. She was clinging again. And alright, it was kind of backwards clinging, but it was still clinging of some description. She was also quiet again for a few minutes, trying to get herself back on track. "I don't know. I was scared. I didn't quite know what to do, and I just...and I'd had a bit to drink, and I just...this kind of thing happens. All the time, even, and I was dumb enough to get myself into a situation where it was possible. I should have just done what I wanted and went and found you. Interrupted whatever was going on with Katie." And she hadn't because of her own insecurities, really.

"I wanted you to," Dean told her. "But then, I didn't want to leave you in the first place. I - I still don't know how that happened. I - I spent most of the night looking for you. I kept checking my phone, in case..." He swallowed, before continuing. "In case my little lost kitten had found someone to find her for me," he admitted, feeling that, in light of events, those thoughts from last night sounded really fucking stupid and trite.

That actually made her smile a bit. "I wish someone had. Andy just...kept me cornered the whole night." she admitted. "And I kept looking for you too. Kept not seeing you, which was why I wound up spending time with him at all. I'm figuring he did it on purpose, of course. And probably had Katie nab you and drag you off. I hadn't wanted to leave you either. Really I'd been looking forward to dragging you off someplace a little quieter. ...it's kind of occurring to me though that I didn't see anyone else, either. Like Jen, or Stu. Which makes me think even more he took me places specifically where I wasn't going to have an out." Which, saying it like that, that kind of made her shudder and she curled in on herself more. How much of it was planned? How far would he have been willing to go if she hadn't faded out?

"I'm sure he set Katie up," Dean told her. "I thought so last night - that's why I came looking for him in the first place. To find out what the hell he was playing at. But, talking to Stu this morning - Jen calmed Katie down last night. Yeah, Andy set her up." He rested his temple against her cheek for a moment, just for a moment. "I'd been looking forward to getting you somewhere quieter as well," he admitted. Then laughed a little, quietly - though there was little humour in that. "In fact, I almost suggested we didn't go last night. Which makes it two out of two."

That sent a little thread of ice through her. Thinking Katie had been set up to do things was one thing, having it confirmed was something else. That really did say to her that Andy had had very clear plans, and he obviously hadn't been planning on going back on them, regardless of what she said. Like 'no'. Or 'let go of me'. She took Dean's arm and hugged it tight around her, fully curled up now, shifting back against him more, almost like he was her blanket now. It took her a few moments to speak. "...I would have skipped it in a heartbeat." she told him, voice soft. "I...had the idea of skipping cross my mind as well. I would have rather'd stay home with you." Which yeah. She guessed it was two for two. "Next time, let's just...go with our urges." Might save them trouble. Or they could just not go out anymore. It didn't seem to work out that well for them. Except the once. And really, they'd left as soon as possible to get to the all important 'hey, by the way I'm in love with you and have been for a long time now' talk.

"We'll do that," Dean confirmed, settling in against her more as she shuffled back. Closer was not a problem right now. He'd just wanted to... God, he'd wanted her to have a good time at a costume party. Like she hadn't been able to have the last time, because she'd been seen by someone she knew, and he'd ended up killing her fucking father. And now? "No more costume parties though - no matter what," he told her. If someone was trying to tell them something, he was listening.

"Okay. If I dress up it'll be just for you." she told him. Because she still liked how that seemed to work out. She still wanted to see what she could do with it. Thia was quiet for a moment, the other thing on her mind drifting closer to the surface, and maybe she just...needed to voice it. She didn't especially want to--she knew it wasn't a good thought, there was nothing for it, and there wasn't anything Dean could do about it. And it probably wasn't going to be good for his head either. But...Still. It was there. And she found herself sharing it. "What's bothering me the most right now is the idea that he set you up, set me up, kept me separated, and...how far was he planning on going? He had to know I wasn't interested--never have been. Did he plan for that? What would he have done? How far..." she left it there.

Dean had thought about that. He'd thought about that a lot. Overnight, this morning, and he just had one fact to cling to, one which he shared with her now. "He was walking away, Thia," he reminded her. "He was leaving. No matter what he'd planned, he clearly had his limits, because he was walking away." Dean's mind supplied several reasons for that, reasons why things might not have gone as planned, but it felt safer to think that things would never have gone... He felt sick if he even considered the rest of that.

"He got interrupted, because I faded out, and he literally dropped down onto the floor, with the sudden lack of me to be pawing at." Lullaby said, automatically, without thinking about it, and wished a second later that she hadn't thought about it at all, or said it. "I'm sorry." she said on the heels of that. "I shouldn't have said that. I don't...you're right. He walked away." And she was just going to keep telling herself that. She was.

"Don't you apologise," Dean told her. "Don't be sorry for saying what you were thinking, Thia." She was much more honest than he was, she always had been - she always would be. Hopefully. He didn't want her to change that because of him.

"It doesn't help though, does it? It's not like--I'm sure you've thought it. I'm sure it crossed your mind." she said. Because she knew him. "But it doesn't do any good to think like that. All it does is make me feel..." She didn't know an appropriate word. A few played in but didn't cover completely, and they were all words neither one of them were going to be good with hearing out loud. So...she just didn't say them. It was that dumb little kid reaction. If you didn't give something voice, maybe it wasn't real.

Dean had thought about it, in fact. In far, far too much detail. He had a good imagination, and whilst he didn't like to think these things happened, he could play out scenarios. He just didn't know if it would help anything at all to let her in on what he was thinking, why he'd landed on that conclusion and decided to go with it. Or whether that as well was something that wouldn't help any thing at all. In the end, he kept a lid on it, pushing it back with all the other things that had come up over night. "Go on," he said, instead, encouraging her to talk without pushing too much.

She read the pause as more waiting for her to fill in her blank, and then realizing she hadn't been going to. "Vulnerable?" she suggested. "Kinda violated, even if he didn't do that much?" She shook her head a little bit. "I don't know. I just...think, and then I think about what would have happened if I hadn't done what I did. And how he sat there, and had this all planned out, and how he at the very least, had to know he was going to be trying something with a girl who was not interested in him. Because I'm sorry, no matter what, even if what was happening with you and Katie had been what it looked like--no. Just no, not ever, and definitely not before I talked to you, or heard it from you that things were over, or....or anything like that. And I didn't believe that it was what it looked like." And she opened her mouth to add on a few other things, but she realized they drew her inevitably towards yet another raw spot in her psyche, and she didn't necessarily want to go there right now.

Dean stomped down hard on the protestations that rose up as she talked about him and Katie, really really fucking hard. Because she'd already clarified that, she'd already said she didn't believe it and even if she hadn't, now wasn't the time. This wasn't about him, not now. "But you did do what you did," Dean told her, instead. "It stopped because you made it stop, you took control of that. No matter what - you did that. You made him leave."

"He left after I gave him a piece of my mind." she mumbled. Because she'd needed to do that. Right then, in the moment, it had all clicked into place. All the things about him, everything he'd done to Dean, and that had kicked her in a place she couldn't ignore, not even for what had been going on with her. It had burned up, bright and immediate, blotting out other things.

"Yeah?" Dean asked, smiling a little at that. How....terribly like her. Even with all that had gone on, she'd still felt that need to say things that needed to be said.

She nodded. "Yeah." she said, starting the absent trace on the back of his hand thing she liked to do. It was actually kind of a sign that she was starting to untense some. Getting some of this out of her system was actually helping in some ways. And this was easier ground. "I just--everything clicked in. I just finally got it, all the little things I'd been seeing but couldn't reconcile?" she said. "It all came together for me, and I got it. And what he was doing. And what he'd been doing, and I just...couldn't not say anything. Fucking manipulative son of a bitching bastard. She leaned her head back some, to brush her cheek against his, even if she did it really lightly. "If I'd have thought I could take him? I probably would have thrown a punch." But he'd done that nicely.

"Yeah, well, that's what you've got me for," Dean told her, leaning in to kiss her cheek a little. "One or two of those punches were throw specifically for you," he downplayed, since it was more the case of 'every single one'. Caleb had always accused him of acting defensive of her and that was in no way limited just to verbal things.

"Yeah?" she asked. "One or two?" she continued, giving his hand a squeeze. "Thank you." she added, voice soft. "I mean I don't--I don't want you getting into fights. Because you get hurt, and you know that while I love patching you up? I don't actually like that you're hurt at all. And I know you got into a fight over me before, but I didn't see that one." And in this case, she'd had to pull him off--which she actually still had to process. And she knew she still had to process it. Knew that she still had to figure it out. Find out how she felt about it. Find out what it meant to her, one way or another. "But...he deserved it. So...thank you. I like knowing you'll defend my honor." Or just her in general. She took the ring she'd gotten for him, had been playing with, and started doing what she always did with hers--trying it on different fingers of his.

"Too bloody right he deserved it," Dean muttered, dropping the downplay for that. "And I wouldn't have had to get into a fight if he'd been..." He broke off and swallowed, not finishing that. "I'd do it again, in a moment. Though, if there was a repeat, Stu said he'd want to be there, so..." That was meant to be slightly more jokey. He wasn't quite sure how well it came off.

She quirked a half smile. "I know you would. And thank Stu for me." she said. She got the ring to his pinky, and took a moment to slide her ring off of his finger, to slide the new one on. She turned it slightly, to make sure it fit well enough, then held his hand out to admire it. See if it looked good where it was. It occurred to her if he got into a fight wearing this ring, he'd leave oddly shaped bruises on people. Which...she couldn't tell if that was a messed up thought or not.

He looked down as she held his hand out. He'd not really been paying attention to what she'd been doing, until she took the ring off his finger. She played the ring game so often, after all. But she didn't usually take her ring off him, not the silver one he'd taken to wearing since they got together. "Where..." he trailed off, frowning, knowing he didn't recognise the ring. He'd assumed it was going to be her other one, the one they'd found at Billy and Maddie's place, the one that was the ring he'd given her - they'd both openly accepted that fact now.

"I got it when we were out, getting costume things." she told him. "I liked it, I thought it was you. And it's steel. So...you can wear it around Oz." She didn't say when they went back home, or anything, just...around Oz. "I was going to wait to give it to you, I just...I don't know. I wanted to today instead." she told him, running her thumb over the cut in tribal design in the steel. It'd be durable, at the very least. Right? She glanced back over her shoulder finally, to seek out his eyes. Or...the one. "Do you like it?" she asked.

"I like it," he confirmed, back on the understatement again. "Thank you." He paused, falling silent for a little while before he pushed on. "I... had been thinking about that," he admitted to her. "About the ring. Not - I mean... About the silver one. I had... kind of got used to wearing it."

She smiled at that, and reached up, putting her hand lightly to his cheek, and she kissed him. It was a light brush of a kiss, but there. She didn't want to make his lip hurt. "Me too." she told him. "I like seeing you wearing it. I didn't want to have to give that up, so....when you're around Oz, the silver ring can go back with the cross." Because she wasn't taking it back at all. She wanted him to have it. It was his now. His but hers...something like that.

Dean nodded and pulled back a little, disentangling himself from her. Reaching up, he pulled the chain out from underneath his shirt and, undoing it, took the ring from her before slipping it back on next to the cross. He kept his eyes - eye - on her as he did it, letting the chain drop back to his chest again, though this time above his shirt. He didn't speak for a moment, before taking a breath and driving onwards. "Thia - I've been thinking..." he started.

She watched him putting the ring on the chain, and was a bit pleased to see that he didn't shove it back beneath his shirt. She liked seeing it, and most of the time she just knew it was there. Of course, the flipside was when he constantly wore it inside his shirt, if she did happen to be seeing it, it was because he wasn't wearing a shirt. Which really, she was a fan of in general. She reached up to slide her fingers down the chain, down to the cross, not letting her eyes drift from his. Statements that started like that usually didn't have good connotations, but she kind of thought the thing he'd just done with the ring, and everything, might be playing in so she told herself not to panic yet. She nodded, instead. "Go on." she encouraged.

Dean took his time, trying to marshal his words, trying to figure out what he wanted to say and how he wanted to say it. He didn't want to dictate to her, she'd followed him enough already, and look where it got them. And anyway, he wasn't 100% convinced of what he wanted, just... He'd been thinking. "I - I think we should talk about things. What we're going to do. Where we're going to be," he said, eventually.

She nodded, thinking that that talk had been coming for a while, but she hadn't wanted to rush him. And really, she was in a position where she didn't have to. She didn't have anything to really get back to back home. She didn't have a life that had been interrupted--at least, not by him. She was, in fact, at his disposal, really. "Have ideas about that?" she asked, voice soft. She relaxed back against the pillows, curling on her side as she faced him, possibly a little closer than she could have been, but...there was still that urge to cling going on.

Dean nodded. "I... I wanted to talk with you about maybe going back. To Marquette," he clarified, needlessly. He didn't add anything else, leaving it to her, giving her time to say something, anything, whatever she felt the need to.

Again, she nodded, eyes ticking over the bruise over his eye, how it was about swollen shut. And how they knew of a certain cave where she could fix that for him. Or, alright, he could go and do that himself, but she wanted to be able to do it for him. Her eyes ticked to his good one and stayed there. "You've thought it all over, I'm assuming?" she asked. "All the pros and cons..." since she knew they existed. Whole bunches of them, on both sides.

"I've thought about it," Dean confirmed. He didn't know if he'd considered all the pros and cons, but he'd done a whole lot of thinking about it.

She didn't say anything for a long moment, then asked what mattered most to her. "Dean, do you want to go back?" she asked, voice soft. Light. Not in any way inflected to imply she thought one way or another. She just really wanted to know the motivation there, what the driving force happened to be. And if it wasn't just a case of there not being anyplace to go, and not wanting to stay here.

Dean thought about that for a moment before answering. "When I came here, it was because it was meant to be safe. It was meant to be away from everything - a place where I could just... get my head straight, deal with things without anything else... Happening, really. I guess I had this... image. You know, the idea that 'home' is always this safe and secure place, because your parents are there and they'll make sure that nothing'll ever get to you? Some bollocks like that? Except, it's not like that, is it? It's not safe here, there's no security here - no more than there is there. Except, here, you don't expect it. You're not looking for it and... And there was a reason my parents sent me away in the first place. I never was happy here." He knew that he'd hopped about a little there - just because he'd thought about something didn't mean it was entirely straight in his head.

She didn't mind him jumping around in his explanation. It still made sense to her. "So, at least back in Marquette, you know what's coming, and you were happier there?" she suggested, needing to phrase it as a question, so he could correct her if that wasn't the case. She also knew about the idea that home was this magical safe place. She'd just had that illusion shattered for her around the time a bullet ripped through her.

"I dunno - I might not know what's coming, but at least we know better to look out for it, y'know?" he paused, looking down, twisting his new ring around his finger. "...At least I know who to trust."

That gave her a pang. She watched him for a few moments, again, his injuries standing out to her. "Dean...we've talked about my end of things with him. But what about you?" she asked. "I want to know how you are, how you're feeling...I know how much this has had to have hit you." Because he did trust people. He expected them to be better than they were, and with Andy being his best friend, before...that had to be a really hard knock to take.

He shrugged a little, not looking up. "I... don't know," he told her, before closing his eyes against that phrase. They'd talked about that bloody phrase before. "Sorry," he muttered. "I... I don't understand. I've thought about it, but no matter which way I look at it, it doesn't make sense. He - he was my friend. Or - I thought he was, but, I mean - have I... I just... I don't know. Then again, I mean, it's not just 'you don't do this kind of thing to your friends'. No - you just don't do this kind of thing. At all. Taking me out of this altogether here, he just... I don't know him. Which makes me wonder if I ever have. But then again, I mean - you said they don't know me either, so - should that even surprise me?"

"I don't have much of an answer for that." Lullaby admitted. She reached out, and drifted her fingers through his hair, giving a light tug to his shoulder, though not enough to truly push anything if he didn't want to move. "I know they didn't know you because you're different. Special. And I'm not really just talking about the psychic thing. I'm talking about you as a person, what makes you you. I think you're exceptional. For him? ...I don't know. I know some people are just...not good people. Some people are merely like that, and there might not be any real rhyme or reason to it. No defining factor. People...everyone looks at the same situation differently. And there are so many people out there who'll do something just because they can. And I think that was it with him. He could mess with your head. So he did. And he put himself on top of everything else while he did it. And then you went away, and when you came back, the game changed. And you weren't playing along and I wasn't playing along, and...everything crashed." She was quiet for a second. "I don't know if you should be surprised or not...our friends are supposed to be our friends. They're definitely not meant to go the way he did."

Dean didn't particularly think he was special - she was just biased, was all. "I don't think I understand people," he said, eventually, allowing her to tug him back down to her level again. First her father, now Andy. At least the Gabe thing he could almost understand - people did stupid things when they were scared. He could grasp that. But this, he couldn't grasp this. "Even if it was some kind of jealousy, I mean - this..."

She kind of absently started to play with his hair, not regularly enough to send him to sleep or anything because she didn't want to do that, or even try to. She just knew it tended to help in times like this as well. So, she did that. "I like your version of the world better than the actual world." she said, voice quiet. "And really, I don't think you'd be you if you started understanding people like that. I just really wish it wasn't someone so close to home there with this. That you could have your trip home, and not have to deal with something like this. If he even knew a quarter of what you've dealt with since leaving here...I don't think he would have tried anything. He seems like a coward to me."

"A coward?" Dean questioned, not sure he agreed with that - Andy had always seemed so there, a leader, always at the front. But then, he'd thought a lot of things about the guy, hadn't he?

Thia nodded, still drifting her fingers through his hair, then she rubbed a little at the back of his neck. "Yes." she said. "He did most of his damage through manipulation. Got people to either help him with things, or do things on their own levels. He didn't do much in the way of a fight. I mean yes, he got a few lucky punches in, but I've heard you talk. And I know you. I'm willing to bet you did most of Andy's actual fighting for him. He sent a girl in to take you out of the picture for a while so he wouldn't have to deal with you. And the second there was resistance in things...he didn't want his little pretendy empire to crash down, so he had to try and scramble to keep it intact. ...not that he did a very good job, I think he's probably used to everyone just falling in line. But yeah, I just...I don't know if I made sense there at all, but I just think at the end of the day, he's kind of a dumb asshole who's a coward at heart with delusions of grandeur."

"I was usually there when he got into fights, yeah," Dean agreed. "or Stu, or Mark - group of us, that's kinda what you get. I just..." He paused and frowned, just a little. "Do you think I'm dangerous?" he asked her, cottoning on to what she'd said about Andy not trying stuff if he knew.

She didn't answer him immediately. She was thinking of course, of how she hadn't been sure he'd stop. When he was pounding on Andy there...she'd felt like she had to call a halt. She'd been doing a whole lot of not really examining that just yet. How she'd kind of...glimpsed that darker part of Dean. And how she'd always told him without hesitation that she wouldn't ever let him fall so far--but she'd never actually believed she'd have to do anything with that. And she'd wound up having to. She wasn't shying away from the task. That wasn't it. She meant what she said. It had merely been the first look she'd had at the fact that she might actually be necessary in that capacity. At least to some degree. "I do, but I also think it's purely circumstantial." she told him, wanting to be honest. "I think if the right conditions are put in place, you can be very dangerous. And in others, not at all. It's got to...it's got to mean something to you. It's got to be personal." She bit at her lower lip for a moment. "And I'm not sure about this at all, but...it might have to be for someone else." she said. "I don't think you would have had the same reaction if it had been all crimes against you." She didn't really want to say that it was over her. Because she didn't believe herself to be purely special on that score. He'd have done the same for any other friend of his or loved one.

He nodded. That all sounded about right, actually. He wasn't important enough for it to matter if it were just him. God, he wasn't going to say that outloud - she'd hate that. He'd get another lecture and he didn't need one of those. "Thank you - for stopping me," he told her. He'd like to think he would have stopped anyway, but - well, he didn't actually know if he would have. That was a frightening, frightening thought. His question from before floated up into his mind: Would it be earlier, the second time round?, and the world swam slightly. It could have been so much different. This had been so much different. This wasn't like on the beach, when he'd known he had to do what he had to do. This had been rage, pure and simple. This had been him losing control. She was right: he could never go so far just for him.

"I made you a promise." she said, voice soft, and she pressed a kiss to his temple, leaving her lips there for a long moment. She didn't say more than that, leaving it at that simple statement. It wasn't any huge thing, or...maybe it was. She wasn't sure yet. It was strange, thinking about it. Because it put in her mind something that she didn't quite think of before. Which was maybe...maybe there was part of Dean that needed her. And it might be that dark part, that shadow beneath the surface. And she didn't know exactly what that said. It didn't make her feel bad about things, or negative in any fashion. It was just an alternative point of view, one she hadn't considered before.

Dean didn't say anything. He shuffled in towards her a little more, holding her slightly more tightly, feeling her lips pressed against his skin, taking comfort from her as the silence drifted. He didn't want to say anything more just now.

She slid her arm around him, and pulled him in close, kind of partially curling around him as much as she was able. She kept stroking her fingers through his hair, then drifting them down the back of his neck and back, making a few little patterns there before she started over again. She didn't try to make him talk again, not right then. He was allowed to be quiet. There had to be a lot on his mind, like there was a lot on hers. What had gone on lately was simply a lot to process in general. There were a lot of layers of issues to start dealing with, even if it didn't even seem like there was a coherent place to start.

It wasn't until a good few minutes later that Dean finally began speaking again. "I didn't really sleep last night. Then I went for a bit of a walk, waiting for Stu to be up and everything. I... I've been starting to think for a while now that we shouldn't be here. And I've been starting to think that if I shouldn't be here, then I had to face the fact that Marquette was the place to be. That's... That's been hard. I - I wasn't really ready to talk to you about it. I - I wanted to try and get it straight in my head and everything first. Kinda, admit it to myself before I talked about it? I dunno - saying things outloud makes them... final? Maybe. Something like that. And I... I have this whole list of reasons why we should leave here. And not very many for why I shouldn't go back."

She knew about the putting things out there making them more substancial thing. Knew all about that. So she could understand. Plus, with the way she'd left things when they'd talked about what had happened back in Marquette--she'd put the decision in his hands, because that's where it needed to be. He needed to make the decision there on his own, figure it out for himself. So...it sounded like he'd done that, which she was happy about. Even if it wasn't an easy decision. She continued what she was doing. Playing with his hair, tracing on his back. "Do you want to talk about the reasons either way?" she asked him, after nodding to his bit about wording things making things final, and why he hadn't said anything til now. She didn't say that she hadn't slept well the night before. He knew that. She knew he did.

"Maybe. Some of them are kinda stupid, small little things, y'know? Like.... I haven't had a full night's sleep since we got here? I'm tired. I - I miss the house. I miss the quiet. I can sleep there. In either house. I - I can't here. There's noise. Everywhere. It never stops. And then, like - there's no privacy. I'd forgotten what it was like to have to leave the house to be alone. Or - Sophie and Oz - they trust. So much. In me. That I'm not going to do anything stupid, or irresponsible. I don't have to account for every single minute of my day the way I feel like I have to here. I don't like having to do that. But then there's the bigger things. Like I was so scared the other day when I thought that maybe we'd brought shit back with us. I don't want trouble to ever have a reason to look at my family. And, right now? I'm the only connection they really have with trouble. So, I don't think I should be here. Even with what's happened - the ghosts and everything. That's all over, apparently. Stu'd been watching the news. He... I didn't know what to say about it. But - they don't really seem dangerous, y'know? And - we know they were there anyway, just for some reason we can see them now, right? But - there's other stuff and, I'm involved already - they don't have to be. I couldn't live with myself if I caused anything to come for them. It's not like I can protect them here." I couldn't even protect you. No, he shouldn't think that - she'd protected herself well enough, hadn't she? "And then there's the fact that... After everything last night - for a start, I don't think you should be here any more. But - I've been trying to be good in all of this. I - I love you, Thia, but I can't.... I have to decide what I want for me. Not for you. I'm sorry. But, even that, I mean, I... I don't want to be here anymore."

"You needed to make whatever decision you were going to make for you, not anyone else." she said first. "That's why when we were first talking about everything, I kind of...worded things specifically. If you were going back I wanted it to be because that's what you wanted to do, or felt like was the right decision. If you were staying, then, same thing. So don't be sorry. You've needed to focus on yourself for this entire thing, for the decisions that go along with it. Not me, not anyone else." She pressed another kiss to his temple, and gave him a little bit of a hug. "If you don't want to be here anymore, then you don't have to be. We can go h--back to Marquette anytime you want."

He felt some relief at that, that she'd not been offended by it. Putting himself first didn't really come naturally to Dean, anything but. It had taken effort for him to decide to do it in this circumstance. It was rational to do so, but to cut her entirely out of his way of looking at the situation had been something he'd had to work at. The same as the fact that he knew he'd had to fight to not make his decision based upon what had hapened with the werewolves, though he didn't know how successful he'd been with that. He was sure that somewhere, factored in, had been the fact that he was needed in Marquette, just like one of the factors for leaving here was that his presence was quite possibly exactly what wasn't needed. There as more than one way of keeping people safe, after all. The difference was that here, they were his family - his parents, his brother. He couldn't completely ignore that. "I'd like to look into it. Into flights. I don't know when I'd be able to leave. I... With all that's happened, what are you going to do?" he asked her, carefully.

"Whatever you want me to." she said. "I'm...I'm with you. If you want me here with you while all the arrangements are made, and wait with you at the airport I will. If you want me to go back first, and give you a few days here by yourself, I can do that too. Or some variation thereof. Whatever you want, really. You...you're my top priority. And I don't mean to say that with a ton of pressure, or anything, or...I just...you are. So...whatever you want with the me-situation."

"I want you to do whatever you want to do. I just.... I won't try and pretend that I'm not kind of twitchy about you being here.... With everything and... It's fucked, isn't it?" he said, suddenly. "I mean, a few days ago and I didn't want you going back because I... And now? I don't know what to do. I want you here with me, but at the same time, I... But, it's your choice - whatever you want to do, I'll be with you on that."

She opened her mouth, then shut it again. And for a second, she felt a stab of hurt, too. But she shoved that aside, and went for clarification instead. "...you're twitchy about me being here?" she asked, and she tried to sound normal, but it didn't quite manage to come out that way. It wasn't very far off, just a little. Just a touch.

Dean caught it and pulled her a little closer. "...because of Andy," he explained. "Because I don't want him anywhere near you and here - that's too near for my liking." For a number of reasons, in fact, but the primary one was that she shouldn't need to ever see that guy ever, ever again. Not even in passing.

That made her feel a little better, though she couldn't help but wonder if it had anything to do with the other night, too. With the slices on her arm. And she'd been more than willing to go, so if whatever might have been after her wouldn't be anywhere near him or his family, but just hearing it out loud like that felt different. "Is that the only reason?" she asked, needing to get past this really fucking fast, because she wasn't really meant to be letting things get to her. Or being the one who needed looking after. And she'd needed some, when she was talking about everything, but...they weren't talking about that anymore, so it was past again, right? Then she started to wonder when things were going to feel even again. She was thinking not until they got back to Marquette. And then who knew.

Dean looked down, dropping his eyes from hers for a moment, before he looked back. "You should... You shouldn't ever have to see him again. Or even - here, he's - he's just down the road. I don't want that for you. I'm not going to ask you to do that, even if nothing... But, I mean, I know that - on top of that. If he... If he ever... Even looked at you again... I don't know if you could pull me back," he admitted to her.

That definitely quelled the hurt feeling she'd had. It soothed it right back down. It dredged up other concerns, but that was done. She drew in a deep breath, and let it out slowly, leaning closer to rest her forehead against the side of his. "What if I didn't let you go in the first place?" she asked, though it was a little rhetorical. The idea that if Andy so much as looked at her sideways triggering that kind of response from Dean...she was going to have to take time to think about it. Figure out how she felt, what it meant. right now she was still getting used to the idea that he actually might need her to pull him back in the first place. "And I think I could." she added. That she actually had confidence in. "You listen, you hear me." And if he heard the word 'stop', she was positive that it would impact on things. And even if she had to grab his arm or something, she didn't think he'd shake her off to keep up what he was doing.

You might not have a choice, Dean thought - but she was right. He listened to her, he always had. He listened to most people, it was simply that a lot of people he then ignored and went ahead and did whatever anyway. But he still listened to them. "I do," he agreed, after a moment or two.

"If..." she started, reaching up to drift her fingers through his hair again once. "If you are going to be twitchy, and you don't want to be in that position, even on an outside chance, a maybe, and you...if you would feel better with my being back in Marquette? I'll go. But I don't--" she broke off for a second, biting at her lower lip, then just went on. It wasn't like they didn't talk. They did. And she was probably going to have to start pulling back on her shutting herself down thing. Even if she was still kind of of a mind that she needed to, she knew it needed to not be a long term thing. It wasn't how they worked, how they did things. "I don't want to leave you."

"I don't want to leave you either, and if you wanted to stay then... Then we'll do that. Until I can arrange to leave here, but. Kitten - it's your decision. Really - I don't want you deciding with this you have to do something just because of me."

Hearing him call her kitten again helped a touch too. She liked when he did that. Sliding her cheek down against his, she put her arm around him, to give him a light hug. It was far lighter than she wanted it to be, but she was still far too aware of his being injured. "I want to stay here with you." she said, not really having to think about it. "If I went back all I'd be doing is worrying about you anyways, and what if he does show up and wants to have a talk with you? Or something like that? I just...I wouldn't want to leave you in that kind of a situation by yourself. There's way too much badness there to deal with in general, I would hate to think of you doing it without...I wouldn't want you stuck dealing with that on your own." Even if all she did was wait upstairs, and be there for when he was done. "Emotionally." she clarified.

"Then we'll both stay," he agreed. "I'll - I'm going to call dad. They don't know what happened last night yet, but I'm going to have to tell them." He shrugged. "I mean, it's not like it's not obvious that something did. And they'll need an explanation about why we're suddenly wanting to leave. I.... Can sell it to them, I think."

"Do you want me to take any of it?" she asked, pretty much knowing she was going to get a flat 'fuck no' from him, but still. "Just a little, so it's not quite so bad?" She paused, giving the slightly less injured side of his face a few light brushes of kisses. "And if you're not going to let me, can I spend the rest of the day babying you?" she asked, voice softer. "And is there anything that you're going to need me to say or do to help deal with your parents?" She punctuated her statements with a couple more light, light kisses where he wasn't bruised.

"No," he told her, giving the refusal he was sure she'd expected him to give and, as such, not pushing the point. "But, aside from that, you can do what you want. Just as long as, y'know, you don't expect me to do too much. I kinda ache today..."

She gave the lightest of smiles. "I noticed that, my dear hero." she told him. "Caught on. So, that's what I want to do. I want to baby you and get you ice, and draw you a bath, and get you warm blankets and pillows and possibly rub your back for you, and...just generally pamper the hell out of you." she told him. Because if he was going to let her? She'd be doing all of that. Hell yes she would. She didn't get chances to baby him very often so she was going to take the opportunity, what with the valid excuse.

"Well, if that's what you want," Dean stressed. He would never ask her to look after him - he was far too minful of the potential hideous downfall that could come with that - but if she wanted to do that, then he wouldn't stop her. And, he had to admit, he liked it. He liked being the centre of her attention, he liked being made to feel special.

"That's exactly what I want." she said. "So...humor me." she said, giving him another few tiny kisses, the last on his lips, though it was a barely-there kiss. It was split, she didn't want to cause him any pain. Especially not with a kiss. "Just lay back, and let me fuss over you. It'll make me happy." And it would occupy her mind, and it would help her feel less like she was useless. Or that she caused all of this. She knew on a fundamental level that she hadn't. It was Andy's bad, but still. "Of course, I don't have a cute little nurse's outfit to complete it all, but I'm sure you'll forgive me for that."

Dean smirked a little - and then stopped that, since it pulled at his split lip in a rather painful way. "Probably for the best," he told her. "I might get ideas, and I hurt a bit much to be able to follow through with them. So, I'll let you off - just this once," he teased.

She winced a little, and kissed his forehead again, putting her palms lightly against his cheeks, and she stroked her thumb back and forth. "Just this once, hmm?" she asked. "You're so sweet to me." she teased lightly. Of course, flitting across the back of her mind, she was still thinking about things that didn't require him to do anything. But for today, she was thinking he probably just wanted rest. So if she was going to do anything like get creative, she'd have to at least wait until tomorrow. "So, which do you want first?" she asked. "Ice for your eye, or do you want to go take a bath, relax for a few?" she asked.

"Ice. I can take a bath after I've called dad, seen if he can get home this lunch," Dean told her - she wasn't going to be deflecting him from the explanation and organisation part of things. Especially not if she was staying. He was determined to start finding out about flights back sooner rather than later.

She nodded. "I'm on it. Can I persuade you to eat something if I make it for you?" she asked. "You should probably have something in your stomach besides aspirin." she pointed out gently, starting to crawl around him so she could get off of the huge bed. Which she'd kind of got used to sleeping in, though that was mainly because she was curled up with Dean like other times they'd shared a bed. Otherwise she would have felt pretty lost and alone on the massive surface.

"Maybe - you can be pretty persuasive at times," Dean allowed. He didn't bother saying he wasn't hungry. He was never hungry, but at least food had started to vaguely taste of something now. And it didn't make him sick. He didn't enjoy it, really, but he could live with that.

She leaned over him once more to give him one more kiss before she slid off the end of the bed and headed towards the door. She was assuming he had his phone on him. And if he didn't, he could use hers. "I'll be back shortly." she promised. And she would take the time to make him something to eat. She figured he would want to talk to his dad on his own, both on the phone and probably when he got home, if he got home. So, she was going to give him time. Time, and it would even be productive. Having him to focus in on helped her own state of mind. It gave her something to narrow her thoughts down in on, instead of letting them drift over all of the what-ifs she didn't want to be considering.