Don't feel bad, okay?

Who: Isaac and Jamie
When: night
Where: on the phone

After getting off the phone with Thom, Isaac had stalled. He'd eaten dinner, he'd played some video games. He'd dicked around on the bass for a little while. All the while, he was pretending to ignore the phone, and the fact that he'd called himself out on this already. He'd known he was probably going to pussy out. After all, calling a girl two nights in a row that you hardly knew and who had stated a few times now that she didn't date -- pointedly -- was a bit ... off, wasn't it? It wasn't good, he knew that much. It reeked of desperation and lame-itude, so ... he'd wait. Tomorrow, he'd call her tomorrow. Humming to himself and not at all satisfied with this decision, Isaac played along to the Chevelle song that came on his playlist.

Little did Isaac know, he didn't have to worry at all. Jamie was calling him.

She was still in a horribly good mood from Caleb's visit earlier, despite the fact they'd done nothing but flirt back and forth and yell at each other. Yeah, she was weird. So while one of his CDs played (Earshot this time), she curled up on her bed, snuggled under her blanket, and called Isaac's number. She still needed to know the party details, after all, and where Thom lived so she could drop in on a practice session one day.

The phone startled him a little, though it shouldn't have. His phone was constantly ringing. "Closure has come to me, myself ... you will never belong to me ..." his computer crooned above the hard rock. Which was horribly ironic as he picked up his cell and looked at the caller ID. His stomach dropped down into the basement. That was starting to be a disturbing feeling, in all honesty. But. Casual. Isaac flipped the phone open and put a grin on his face so she'd hear it. "Heeyyyy, Lone Ranger. What's shakin'?"

"Hey, Tonto," Jamie greeted cheerfully. "Not much on my end. How're you doing?" she asked, reaching over and grabbing the rock Caleb had left her. She ran her thumb over the surface of it thoughtfully while she waited for his response.

"Just dicking around," he said, smiling at her tone. She sounded happy. She sounded happy and she'd called him. That was a good sign, right? He played a little bit more so she could hear what exactly his version of 'dicking around' entailed. Then, as if he hadn't been dying to tell her for hours: "Oh, I got the party details all worked out."

"Oh, yeah?" she asked casually, as if that wasn't why she'd called in the first place. Well, she also enjoyed talking to Isaac. He gave her warm fuzzies. "Do spill. I'm actually looking forward to it." I love dancing. And music. Especially your music.

"Oh yeah," he confirmed in a false-cocky tone. Which he was actually pretty good at. "It'll be Sunday night. Party starts at seven, but we might be a bit late going on. Eight at the latest. But he'll have shit all set up, you won't be bored. At David's house, I've got the address if you need it, too. ... think you can make it?" He really tried not to sound incredibly hopeful. And managed somewhat.

"I can definitely go," Jamie affirmed, grinning. "I'm not the biggest social butterfly, so I'm all free for Sunday. I'll be there all girled up and everything. Just give me the address and I'm all set!"

If Isaac wasn't in the band, he would've been utterly offering to take her himself, but alas ... he'd have to be there early. He rattled off the address for her, even throwing in a couple of easy landmarks. It wasn't like Marquette was huge or anything. "You could even ... y'know, come early if you wanted, hang out with us for a while. I can introduce you to the guys. Oh, speaking of ... think you might be coming to a practice before then? We'll be doin' 'em ... all of the three days we've got between now and then."

Hm, practice. That was earlier than she'd anticipated... "Well, I know I can't tomorrow," she began, her tone apologetic. "But maybe Saturday? And coming early to the party sounds cool, it's not like I have big plans for Sunday. I'll swing by early if I can." Of course, if she'd be able to hinged entirely on how her grandpa was that day and who she was in his eyes.

"You don't have to, of course, I was just suggesting. Since you don't know where me and Thom live and all," he said. Really, she might be bored there, as they were going to have to solidly practice their stuff and not dick around. "But if you want, sure, Saturday would be fine." He was unspeakably happy she was coming. He grinned around at his room.

"I can bring food," she offered immediately. "Since I'm getting a free show and all, it only seems fair to feed you. Better than you guys eating pizza or take out. Better for you, at least," she amended with a smile. "And totally free, because I'm just awesome like that."

"You are awesome like that," he agreed with his own bright grin on the other end of the line. "It's more like a free half-show with us stopping every five minutes to curse at each other, but if you enjoy that kind of thing ..." he trailed off and chuckled, plucking a few more strings.

Jamie laughed, grinning at the image. "Actually, I think I'll be very amused by all that. Don't mind if I sit in the corner and laugh at you, okay?" Because guys cursing at each other tended to make her laugh. Hard. "And don't mind if I sing along quietly, either. I do that sometimes."

"I'd love it if you did," he answered honestly. "Both the laughing and the singing are fine by me. Just bear with us, 'cause we're much better at performing than practicing. Which sounds fucked up, I know, but it's just ... the vibe's completely different, and we all play much better when we're into it and not worried about fucking up. 'Cause that goes away on stage after a while. For me at least." And yeah, he was rambling. He might need to stop that.

She settled Caleb's rock back on her nightstand. "No, it's not fucked up. My voice cracks and does strange things when I'm just goofing off alone, but randomly whenever I'm singing around people, I apparently have an angel's voice," Jamie said, her tone dry. "It's sort of like the world falls away for me, when I'm singing around other people," she admitted. "Is it like that on stage?"

Isaac had to grin. He couldn't really tell if she'd liked that compliment or not, but he'd thought it had been a good one, personally. "For me, yeah," he confirmed, voice sort of soft and dreamy. "I just get into the groove and the beat and my fingers do the rest while I just kind of ... drift on it all. Which y'know ... drifting could include bouncing around on the stage like an idiot if the beat is right, but that's part of the whole thing." Did that even make any sense? He hoped so.

She laughed, nodding her head in agreement. "Of course. What you do when you drift is entirely dependent on the song. Sometimes I just sway with the music, sometimes I practically bounce off the walls. You bouncing around fits in perfectly with the theory." And sometimes? She cried like a baby, but he didn't need to know that. It made her look more than a little crazy.

Oh good. She knew what he was talking about. Sometimes it was hard to tell with people. He decided he'd like to see Jamie do both of those things. Often. ... but he probably shouldn't say so. Because ... oh wait, he was doing it anyway. "I'd like to see that," he said with a smile in his voice. Goddammit. "But you're right, I know how that is." Lame.

"I'm sure you will, as much as you like to hear me sing. Of course, you've only heard me sing pretty, mellow songs so far, and they're not very bouncy," Jamie noted with a smile in her voice and on her lips. "Vienna Teng and Lifehouse aren't exactly energetic, you know?"

Isaac? Was fairly sure that he'd love to see her bounce. But that did not need to be said. It was also a good thing she was on the other end of the phone, because it brought a little color out on his cheeks. It was pretty easy for her to make him blush, wasn't it? It was kinda fucked up. "I'm sure you're awesome at those too," he assured her with a faint chuckle. "You seem to pretty much rule at everything."

"I'm actually quite horrible at reaching things on high shelves, 'cause I'm so short. And going up flights of stairs panics me a little. And anything bug related has me going into girly screaming fits," Jamie commented. Okay, screaming fit was slightly exaggerated, but she did make strange squeaky noises while the bugs were alive and in her near vicinity.

He laughed. "See? All that only makes you more adorable," he told her. He realized a second later that he'd just called her adorable. Oh well, too late now. According to Thom, it wasn't like he wasn't terribly obvious about liking her anyways. "So I'd count those on the plus side. Except for the panicking at stairs thing, that sounds kinda ... bad for you."

"Nice to know I'm all cute and girly," Jamie said, making a face. She hated her girly habits, and tried on a daily basis to figure out ways to get past them. High shelves were easy as long as she climbed carefully or wore high heels, but the squeaking around bugs thing she'd struggled with for years. "The stairs thing completely sucks, but that's the easy part. I faint or have screaming panic attacks if people pick me up," she admitted. "If my feet aren't on solid ground, I start hyperventilating." And why was she telling him about her phobias, anyways? Completely weird. "Sorry, I'm rambling," she said with a nervous laugh.

He'd stopped strumming so he could listen better, filing that particular bit of information away. Okay, so no playful picking-her-up, ever. Screaming fits were something he really wanted to avoid with this girl. "No no, it's cool," he said quickly. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm utterly terrified of the water. Anything over my head, I can't even put a foot in. No pools, no lake, I can't swim to save my life. I don't scream so much as curl up into a little ball of total fear. Which would mean drowning if I got pushed into anything." He paused. "I really don't tell people that, though, so. You are now sworn to secrecy."

Jamie giggled. "Same for you. 'cause... yeah, it'd be bad, if anyone ever picked me up," she admitted. No one had yet, but she'd had a few close calls with macho jocks trying to prove how manly they were to impress her. "I won't ever push you into water if you don't pick me up, okay?"

"It's a deal," he said with a bit of a smile. She giggled. He liked to hear that. "'Cause I'm not fond of death. Especially not death by water." Isaac made a face and shuddered bodily. He played a couple more random notes. "So did you have a good day?" he asked. Which was quite possibly lame, but he really honestly wanted to know.

"Definitely!" Jamie agreed, bouncing somewhat with the music. Yes, she definitely loved this band. She might just kiss Caleb (again) for loaning her his CDs. "I got all sorts of new music, so I'm twelve kinds of happy girl right now. How about you? Meet any girls after I left?" she asked, her tone teasing.

He neglected to ask where she got all sorts of new music. Did it matter? ... okay, should it matter? He'd known the girl two days, how could he possibly be any sort of paranoid about her? He scoffed internally at himself, just as he was chuckling at her question. "Actually, yeah, now that you mention it," he said. "There's a new girl moving in across the street. And then I caught up with another girl I already know. But still."

Hurray! New girls in his life! She would be overwritten for sure, right? "That's great," Jamie enthused. "Need to practice any pick up lines?" she teased. "I'm still open for that, you know."

Isaac blinked at that response. Or really the tone behind it. He was quiet for a couple of beats as hello, moodswing. She's not interested in you, douchebag, that voice kicked up again. It seemed really vocal around her. You're stupid. Get off the phone. "Nah, I think I can manage," he said quietly, stomach suddenly in like, five knots.

...damnit. That had backfired so completely it was nowhere near funny. Jamie hugged her knees to her chest, cradling her cell between her shoulder and her ear. "Hey," she murmured. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you, Isaac." I have reasons for not dating, you know. And none of them are personal.

Funny how, like ... 72 hours ago, this is how it had started out. She was a cool girl to bounce other-girl ideas off of. She'd offered. It was ... their long phone conversation that really did him in, he guessed. And her coolness. "It's okay," he told her. Even though it wasn't. But that wasn't her fault. Not her fault at all. She'd just been straight with him. "I'm just an idiot is all."

"You're not," Jamie scolded. "Don't ever say that, okay? It's not you at all, Isaac. It's me, okay?" she assured him. "I have that rule, you know?" she reminded him, voice very gentle. "So it's not you at all."

He'd never been told that before, but he hated that phrase by reputation. Because it wasn't ever true, from everything he'd ever heard. Ever. And she'd told Thom that she'd break it for a nice guy with his head on straight ... "It's okay," he repeated, not really sure what he was talking about. Two days, you dumbass! Two. Days. Shut up now.

"Isaac, I have the rule for a reason. I have a lot of crazy stuff in my life, and I don't want to burden anybody else with it," Jamie explained, her voice still a gentle murmur. "You're a completely awesome guy, and you just deserve better than what I can offer right now."

Isaac winced a little as she said he was awesome, looking just as confused as he felt. At least she couldn't see him. "Well that's a bunch of crap," he said softly. Then decided he should probably elaborate on that a teensy bit. "Crazy stuff isn't a burden. It's just something to help with, if at all possible. And I just ..." He sighed quietly, utterly disbelieving he was actually saying this. "I just really like you. Not that, y'know, we've been friends forever or anything, but as it stands now ... yeah, lots of liking going on. I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, and if ... y'know, you don't want me to call you anymore or anything ... I can do that." He'd gotten off track. "But really, I don't deserve a whole lot, dunno what gave you that idea." He chuckled a little, nervously.

"Sweetheart, it doesn't make me uncomfortable. I just feel horrible because I feel like I'm hurting you, and that... it isn't fair," Jamie admitted. "That's not what I wanted to do at all when I called tonight." Yeah, she hadn't imagined this conversation so soon. And she'd hoped to never have it. Ever. "You're twelve kinds of awesome, remember? You deserve at least as much as that, if not more."

This was the part where he shut up and left her alone. Where he got off the phone and just hoped she came to the party and to rehearsals and they stayed friends and she got to sing and get carried away onstage and maybe even dated Thom. Who knew, right? But all this was a Big Fat No to his ears, irregardless of her reasons. "That's you, though," he said softly. Then frowned at himself. "I don't want you to feel horrible. I'm okay, I'm a big boy. So stop that."

Jamie bit her lip harshly, squeezing her eyes shut. It wasn't long before the metallic taste of blood filled her mouth. Shit. "Isaac, if I knew you better, and if things in my life weren't such utter shit right now, I'd break the rule for you." Which was the truth. If she did get to know him better, and he stayed just as awesome as he seemed right now? She'd date him.

...of course, she'd met Caleb, and she knew she'd definitely break the rule for him, too. Damnit.

"This doesn't change anything for me," she said quietly. "I'm still coming to practice Saturday, and the party Sunday. Okay?"

Oh god, don't say that, he mentally pleaded with her. He had just been getting around to starting to begin the process of resigning himself to the fact that he didn't want her to feel horrible, so he should probably just neatly back himself off a bit. But then she had his stomach all fluttery again. Isaac put his bass down and closed his eyes, rubbing the lids with two fingers. "Okay," he said, working backwards. "... you know that sounds like a total brush-off don't you? Not that I disbelieve you, just ... yeah. What's shit in your life? Maybe I can help." Wait ... no, we're not pushing for this!

"Aside from the Chrissy shit?" Jamie asked dryly. Hey, it still counted, even if it was third on the list of her issues at the moment. She eyed the rock still sitting on her nightstand and bit her lip again, wincing as more blood seeped into her mouth. How had she ended up in some strange love triangle? Isaac liked her, she liked Caleb, Caleb was happily oblivious and probably had other, better, not-insane girls after him?

"Yes, aside from that. Because we've already established that I don't give a rat's ass about her opinion, and if she wasn't a girl, I'd totally relieve her of some teeth," he said in a bland tone. Was he really having this conversation? Normally, if a girl made it clear she wasn't interested, he shrugged it off and moved on. Why couldn't he let this one go? It would be the simplest thing in the world now to shut up, tell her goodnight, and hang up the phone. But witness him not doing it.

She sighed quietly, fidgeting uncomfortably and feeling tension seep into her shoulders. "My grandpa's senile," Jamie explained, her voice quiet. "And we're the only family each other has left. I'm taking care of him. It keeps me busy, and on top of school, and a job, and keeping the house in order, I don't have time to date or... anything, really."

Damnit, how had this happened!?

Isaac blinked a bit, letting that sink in. Yeah, he'd had no clue about that one. He gnawed on his lower lip briefly, considering it. He could definitely see how that would be a gigantic ... pressure on a 17 year old girl. "Wow," he said softly, musing. "That's hardcore." And it only made her even more amazing. He paused for another beat. "Do you need any help?" he asked, voice still quiet and hopefully non-invasive. "Dad pretty much lets me have the car whenever I want ... I wouldn't mind ... helping. If there's anything simple I can do, I have pretty much no experience taking care of people ... but I can clean and carry stuff."

"I'm okay," Jamie murmured, despite how very tempting his offer of the car was. That would make grocery shopping so horribly awesome, and much faster, and it would greatly reduce a lot of the hassle of trying to carry home a weeks worth of groceries on her own. "I'm used to handling it, and it's not like I have to watch him all the time. He goes to a senior center during the day, so I only watch him at night and on holidays... um, please don't tell anyone, Isaac. I can't stress how important that is, because... it's not really legal. I'd have social services tossing me into foster care so fast it'd make my head spin," she explained, her voice quiet.

"Oh no problem on that score," he said immediately. "Not a word to anybody, promise." Then he paused again, frowning. "I don't believe you," Isaac stated gently. "I asked what was shit in your life, and you brought this up, so ... I'm not totally buying that you're okay. I mean, people do what you do professionally, without going to school on top of it and everything. Honest, I'm not trying to win points with this one. If you need help, I'm here, okay? For serious. That's a lot of pressure, and I know you're capable and all, but if I can do anything ... I'd like to." Yeah, there was that ramble again.

She hesitated. "I don't take help well, Isaac," she finally explained. "I'm... just used to going at it alone. It's nothing personal," she added hastily. "It's just... strange." Jamie ran her tongue over her lip, swiping away the blood. "I... well, if you really want to help, a ride to the grocery store would be nice. Walking them back kind of sucks," she relented.

Understatement of the century right there.

Oh god, she shopped without a car? No wonder she was stressed as hell. Jesus. "I'd love to give you a ride to the grocery store. Anytime," he said, voice a touch warm. He'd pretty much do anything she asked him to do, at that point, so he was glad for just something. Isaac chuckled a bit. "God, you're like Superwoman," he murmured, half to himself.

Jamie laughed at that. "No, I'm just used to it. It's not that horrible once you get used to it, but it's definitely my least favorite chore," she explained. "Nothing super about me, honest. I have no powers or mutant abilities. Promise I'd tell you first," she added, her voice light. Hurray, crisis apparently averted! Go her.

"Good to know," he said, smiling some now. Since Thom wouldn't tell him that he was an andriod and all. But he wasn't completely sidetracked. "So ... in just a hypothetical situation which isn't me getting my hopes slightly up at all ... would you maybe ... be interested? In getting to know each other better?" He stood up to pace a little, picking something up off the dresser and putting it down again. God, he felt 12 again. Some more. Something.

"Isaac, sweetie, I think that's what we're doing right now," Jamie pointed out, amused. And a little panicky, though no trace of that was in her voice. This wasn't his way of asking her out, was it? Ohhh no. She'd just met him, and she wasn't entirely sure he was even her type yet, even though he was adorable and twelve kinds of awesome and one of the nicest guys she'd ever met in her entire life.

"Well yeah, but ... there's friend-getting-to-know and ... other," he said quietly, after a pause. "I'll just go ahead and assume that I need to ... not look like crap when I see you." He chuckled faintly, pacing around some more. His room had too much junk in it for this kind of thing. "Not that, y'know, you care much or anything, just ... yeah, you're not one of the guys. If that makes sense. And I should probably shut up now, huh?"

Jamie blinked up at her ceiling in surprise. How had this happened? No, really. How?! Full screaming panic mode initiated and everything with that sentence. What the hell was she gonna do!? "There's two kinds of getting to know people?" she asked, surprised, because it was the first thought that popped into her head. She'd never heard that before.

He winced. Bad wording, probably. There were two ways, in his mind. Getting to know with intentions, and getting to know with no intentions. Like him having ice cream with Lulu earlier that day. No intentions. Because Jamie had pretty much blown most every other female out of his brain for now. Not that that needed saying. At all. "Forget it, it's ... it's not important," he said, sounding a bit embarrassed. He was not very smart today at all. Why did she call him again? Oh yeah, party.

God, he needs to meet another girl to crush on. Fast. She continued to blink up at the ceiling, feeling more tension slip into her shoulders. What was she going to do? She didn't even know what to say to him, except to ramble off apologies, hang up the phone and hurl it at the wall. And then hide, because she was a frigid hobag bitch. This? Meeting a completely awesome in twelve ways guy? When she was crushing on a completely different (and awesome in twelve completely different ways) guy? It was not something she'd ever anticipated having to deal with. Ever. At all. Ever! "Well, let's just keep going with the friend thing for now," Jamie finally managed to say. "That's good, right?"

"... right," he said after a pause. Because he couldn't not. "Of course that's good." How in the bloody hell was she managing to do that? Just make him feel like he'd forgotten his stomach on a roller coaster somewhere? It was bizarre. And very uncomfortable. Isaac fidgeted a bit more with random stuff in his room. He felt like he needed to run. Or go over to Thom's. Or something normal so he'd stop feeling quite so lost. He'd never been here before, honestly. Two days. Jesus Christ. She said stuff like that to make him feel like she was trying to let him down easy, then she turned around and said that she'd break her rule for him, given enough time, maybe. It had his head five kinds of mess. "I'll let you go then, I guess," he said quietly, at last, for lack of anything else at all to say.

Oh God, it was the worst possible scenario she could have imagined. And so freakin' soon, too. She didn't know what to do; every option at her disposal was horribly wrong and twisted her insides and made her sick. Let him down? Hurt him. Go out with him when she wasn't even sure she felt anywhere near the same as he apparently did? Hurt him! Hell, she was even hurting him by saying bye. She could feel it. "Saturday, right?" Jamie asked lightly, barely paying attention to what words were coming out of her mouth. "I can call to get directions then."

"Yeah, Saturday," he confirmed, his own mouth running pretty much on autopilot now. Maybe it was because it was late and the nature of the conversation, but he felt awful right then. Why couldn't she just have given him a straight up no? 'I don't like you' was much better to hear than 'Well see, I like you a lot, but ... no. For no reason that'll make sense to you.' Isaac closed his eyes and crouched in front of his dresser. He put his forehead to the cool wood and reminded himself that it would behoove him not to be a complete asshole here. "Jamie?" he said quietly, before she could go.

She clenched her fists then, feeling her nails bite into the skin. "Yeah?" she answered just as quietly, still feeling sick. Bitch. Uber bitch. Slut. Hobag. What is wrong with you? Awesome guy, cute as hell, caring and funny, and you... you hurt him!

Funny she should think that ... "Don't feel bad, okay?" he said. He opened his eyes to stare close-up at the grain of the wood in front of him. "You've been nothing but straight with me, and I appreciate it. You haven't done anything wrong, alright?" 'Cause he just had a feeling, from what she'd said earlier, that she felt guilty. "If anybody should feel bad, it's me, for not like ... respecting your rule. So I'm sorry. It won't be a problem, I promise."

That didn't help. At all. In fact, it just had her feeling worse. Isaac was just proving how great of a guy he was, and she was... hurting him. Jamie swallowed thickly, her eyes burning. God, she'd never wanted to cry more in her life, but that was not happening. Fuck that, not with Isaac still on the phone. "I'm sorry, too," she managed, her voice very quiet. "I'll talk to you Saturday, okay? And I'll bring food," she added lightly. "Lots and lots."

She didn't sound so good. He sat down and propped his head up with one hand. He just couldn't win with her, could he? He realized in a dim way that he'd had so much so easy for so long ... this felt so different. "You okay?" he murmured softly, bypassing her attempt to go even though he probably should've accepted the out.

Jamie paused for a long moment, that sickness still churning in her stomach. She managed a weak laugh, but there was nothing happy about it. "God, Isaac, even after I pretty much shoot you down you're still being an incredibly great guy. I'm just..." feeling like an uber bitch. "I'm fine. I'm going to go now." Yeah, not leaning on the guy who she'd just hurt. It wasn't fair to him, and she was not going to be that bitchy girl. "I'll talk to you Saturday. Take care, okay?" Jamie finished on a ramble.

And then she hung up, turned her phone on silent and dropped it in her nightstand drawer. She curled up tightly under the blanket after that, pulling a pillow over her head for good measure. Hiding was good. Hiding she could do.

Isaac blinked and took the phone away from his head to stare at it. He hadn't been aware that being an incredibly great guy was such a bad thing. He hadn't even really been aware that he was an incredibly great guy. Not really aware of it. Frowning a touch, he dialed her number again. It rang until it hit voicemail, which didn't really surprise him much. Once the beep had sounded, he at least got what he wanted to say in.

"Everything I said was true, just so you know. Even the part about being a big boy and being okay. You're not the first one to shoot me down, really, it's alright. I've only known you two days anyway, it's not like I've got any real room to do this to you. I'm sorry about that. Please don't take it hard. I'll feel bad about you feeling bad about me feeling bad and then it's just badness all around," he paused to chuckle faintly. "So I'll see you Saturday, hopefully. Um ... you might not get this until morning, but ... goodnight, Jamie." And he hung up as well. Isaac stared at the phone another beat or two, then tossed it behind him onto the bed. He reached over to turn his music up a little bit more, then flopped back on the carpet to stare at the ceiling and think.