Explain to me WHY

who: chance and kaysen
where: outside graevaret
when: mid-dayish

It felt abnormal to be out, skateboarding again. It had been awhile since he last took his board out of the garage, but given school was starting again in a few weeks, and certainly had no plans to walk to Marquette Senior High, he knew he'd have to get a feel for his board again at some point. Plus, it gave him an excuse to check out Graevaret. Not that he was looking for company exactly, but his curiosity was getting the better of him and he had seen other skateboarders there before. He pushed his foot off of the pavement of the street and up into the parking lot of the middle school, his gaze sweeping along the area. He saw her almost instantly, swerving her board back and forth, oblivious to his being there. He stepped off his board and stepped on the edge with his shoe to catch it, deciding to wait until she saw him before he said anything. The last thing he needed at the moment was to scare Kaysen St. James.

Kaysen was in her own little world, which was the one she usually occupied. It was nicer there than y'know. Reality. Reality was full of lame people that made her feel bad, like Thom and more recently Taylor. So her world? Was much much better. And less confusing. It had things like skateboards and tricks she could pull off with ease(most of the time). And she hopped her board up and did a grind down the metal railing on the steps, board landing with a loud clap as she hit the sidewalk again, landing it. There. she thought as she smiled in a satisfied sort of way.

She'd ditched when she saw Thom last time she'd done it, and now she'd made up for it. Perfect landing and everything. Take that, reality! She swerved her board before she would hit the street, and that's when she blinked as she noticed someone standing sorta nearbyish. Which was weird. Had he been watching her? She eyed him warily as she kept moving, head turning as she did so.

She'd spotted him. Which was for the best, despite the wary look she was throwing him. More like a "What the hell are you looking at, you freak." kind of look. He set his skateboard down and pushed off, rolling toward her at a slow enough pace that she wouldn't think he was some skateboarding lunatic out to get her. "That was pretty sweet," he told her, wanting to reveal early and quickly that he wasn't some creep. "Last time I tried that I landed...well, let's just say it fucking hurt," he said with a lopsided grin. "I've seen you board before, you're pretty good."

Kaysen was blinking at him. Kind of...wondering if he was a) insane, b) trying to trick her or there was always c) an alien pod person there to suck her brains. She was currently opting for C. She also stopped her forward progression, tipping back and switching her board back around so she was now going backwards. Backwards was good when someone was coming towards her. Particularly someone who was handing out compliments. "...last time I did it did too." she said, that wary tone still in place. In fact, she was still decorated with the results of that last time, her chin just under her jaw scraped up, a long, nasty looking de-skinned forearm on her right side...and of course both knees hadn't seen skin in a long, long time. But skateboarders got scraped up. Came with the territory.

"Yeah." He could see the scars. He could also tell she wasn't sure what to think of him. He couldn't blame her, considering they were two grades apart and had never even said hello before. But he knew of her, and he had seen her plenty of times, both inside of the school and out. He'd never really gotten the chance to introduce himself to her, and now that they were actually speaking? Yeah, the last thing he wanted was for her to think he was like the other kids. Chance pushed up his shirt to his forearm where a thin, ragged scar ran down past his elbow. "I got this near Trowbridge, Stitches," he said proudly. Then he pointed behind his ear to a scar she couldn't see unless she were behind him. "Right outside of the high school, going down the steps." He stopped rolling, setting his foot on the pavement as he watched her. "Kaysen, right?"

She felt slightly less threatened when he stopped moving, and she slowed her backwards progression. She eyed the scar that he showed her, and took his word for the other one. "Last time I tried it I ditched." she said. "I think there's still some skin embedded on the sidewalk." But then she was pretty sure forensic people like on CSI or some shit would find her skin everywhere on the steps of the school. Years and years worth of not quite landing every trick she tried.

"Eh, it comes with the territory. Of course even after you've fallen on your ass a thousand times, it still fucking hurts." He winced, wishing he would stop cursing so much. He never cursed around his mother, unless...yeah, he needed to reign in the swearing, especially around girls. "Sorry, I think I was a sailor in another life. I'm Chance, by the way. I live off of Lake Harbor," he continued, trying to hide a grin as he studied her expression. "I'm not going to, like, bite you or anything. I just saw you boarding and wanted to say hi. I go to school with your brother."

"What, you're worried about swearing?" Kaysen asked, looking at him like he was totally insane. "I swear worse than that." she added. Which she did. She actually had kind of a bad habit of swearing. The only time she got called on it was in school, or if her parents happened to over hear her and it was disrupting their television watching. Beyond that, she was a swearer. "And hi." she said. She was kind of giving him a look like '...and?' considering she didn't quite know what he wanted. He couldn't really have just wanted to say hi. Cuz...please. Senior, and wait, she'd seen him before, now that she was thinking about it. "You're um...I've seen you. You get into fights." she said. Because that she knew. Even as a sophomore. But then again, small town equalled small school, so everyone knew a lot about everyone. Wasn't that difficult.

Chance couldn't help but grimace. Okay, so she'd noticed him before, probably during one of his bloody brawls with the resident jock. Fantastic. "Yeah, I've gotten into a few...tiffs...in my time. None of which were my fault, by the way." He gave her a small smile. "That's not really all I'm known for, is it?" Because that would suck. Actually no, for anyone else he'd be fine with it, but when he was trying to talk to a girl? Yeah, much with the sucking. Of course, he had heard his own fair amount of stories regarding Kaysen St. James, but given the sources, he was less inclined to believe them. In fact, half of the stuff that passed through the halls about her seemed so outrageous, he had been tempted on more than one occasion before to ask people if they were that fucking stupid to think half the rumors were true.

Kaysen regarded him sort of shifting her board back and forth beneath her feet after she'd twisted it beneath her so she was fully facing him. But then again, Kaysen maintained that she was better on her board than off, and for now she was keeping up with that. "Kinda..." she said, shrugging one shoulder. She didn't say that really the stuff she'd heard was all from other people's conversations. It wasn't like anyone was talking to her about it. "People say you're kinda...dark." she added. That was a good word, right? A safe word that wasn't 'creepy'? That was her story and she was sticking to it.

Chance reached up to scratch the nape of his neck as he considered. Stupid fucking high school. He wasn't naive enough to believe he went unnoticed. Given his outbursts the last few days of school last year, he would be incredibly stupid to think it didn't get around. But was he really dark? He didn't listen to death music, or dabble in drugs, or write angry rants about his classmates, or the tragedy of life. Dropping his arm to his side, he picked up his skateboard. "People say you're mentally unbalanced," he replied simply before adding, "Does that mean I should believe them then?"

Kaysen shrugged, eyeing him. "Depends on your definition of unbalanced." she said. "Maybe I am. I'm not diagnosed with anything. But then I'd prolly have to go see a shrink to get diagnosed. Soooo..." she trailed off. "People say lots of shit. Most of them are fucking morons, though."

"Agreed." He smiled again. Hopefully she would consider what she was saying in regards to him as well. She probably already knew, so he wasn't going to make it a point to tell her about his own shrink, especially since she looked like she was about to take off if he sneezed the wrong way. "Hey," he continued, "if I'm making you uncomfortable, I can leave."

She seemed to consider that, frowning at him a little bit like she wasn't sure what to say. And that would be because she had absolutely no bloody clue. "Why are you talking to me?" she asked finally instead of agreeing that he should take off, or doing so herself. That was really the most prominent question.

"Maybe I want to," Chance said. Was high school that horrible for her that she had to look at him so suspiciously? She didn't even know him. Probably best not to mention he had been working up the courage to talk to her for nearly a year. "Do I need a better reason than that?"

"People don't talk to me unless they want to say something mean. Or trick me." Kaysen said, still eyeing him a little warily. Like she was waiting for him to come out with the trick already. As a matter of fact, high school was that horrible for her. In fact, all school had been. The best she could hope for on a daily basis was that she might be ignored.

Wow. He felt bad for her, considering she was only going to be a sophomore this year. At least he was nearly done with the hellhole himself. "All people?" he asked, setting his skateboard back down and pushing off into a series of small circles. "I don't really have anything mean to say to you. I don't know you well enough to do that. And I don't really have any tricks up my sleeve, and," he spread his arms out wide when he rolled about to face her, "I'm the only one here so no accomplices to do the dirty work."

"That doesn't usually stop people." Kaysen said, crossing her arms over her chest. "They think bad stuff anyways, and spread it around, and try to trick me. Like, say they're going to be my friend, just so they can laugh at me the next day, or like, next class or whatever. I've just stopped falling for it by now." she said. "So...why are you talking to me? Seriously, it's weird. Don't you know that I'm like, a social leper? Just being caught seen like, within ten feet of me might make you a target too y'know." Though then again, he might just beat them up if they were mean to him. Hm.

Chance said nothing, but began to skate circles around her as he considered. "I'm not exactly prom king, Kaysen. Granted, I'm not a social leper either, but I really don't give a fuck what people think about me. I talk to who I want to talk to, and to be honest with you, there's not very many people on that list. I saw you over here, and I recognize you from school, so I thought I would say hi. I don't have any ulterior motives, believe it or not." He stopped in front of her. "I mean, besides what other people might think, is there a reason why I shouldn't talk to you? Do you want me to go?"

"You asked that already." Kaysen said. "I still don't get why you're bothering." she said. "It's not like I'm interesting or anything. And you don't like, hang out with my brother. I don't think." She and her brother didn't see much of each other at school anyways. She was still kind of trying to figure out why a senior would be talking to her. And...were they having a conversation? How did that happen?

"I asked you, yeah, and you keep avoiding the question." That was a good sign. She hadn't told him to fuck off yet. "I know your brother, but no, we don't hang out." Isaac St. James was way too All American for Chance. In fact, he was pretty sure Isaac wouldn't appreciate his younger sister talking to him right now. "And I don't know if you're interesting or not, I've never had a conversation with you before." Chance grinned again. "If you hadn't noticed, I'm trying to remedy that but you're making it kind of hard."

"I'm not used to people randomly coming up to talk to me. Like I said. They usually have ulterior motives. She paused, then pushed off on her board, going to snake her backpack from beneath a bush where she'd hidden it before, she didn't stop the board but rounded it again. Taking out her camera, she paused and trained it on him. "You actually know how to do anything on your board, or are you one of the wannabes?"

He cocked an eyebrow at the camera, but deemed it a good sign that she hadn't boarded away from him. "I can do some stuff," he told her. "What do you wanna see me do?" Chance wasn't about to admit he hadn't been on a board since school ended. He had a feeling skateboarding was the only way he was going to keep her interest. If that meant risking his bones, so be it. They'd mend.

"So. Show me." she said, bit of a challenge in her tone. Like she might have said 'prove it' instead. She snapped a picture of him when he was looking at her, something she knew would come out motioned blurred just a little bit, but that's what she'd wanted. Otherwise she would have stopped her board.

Fuck. He glanced around, noting the stairs and headed toward them. Once he was set, he noted she was still staring at him with that fucking camera. Chance shot her a look and pushed off, gaining speed. He'd been doing this for years, yet for some reason he felt like he was eleven again, wobbling along and trying to keep his balance. Sending a prayer up to a God he wasn't sure even existed, Chance focused, pulling off the tre flip before he hopped his board up and managed a frontside noseslide down the railing. Someone was watching out for him, because he didn't fall. He allowed himself to breathe, swerving his board around to face her lazily. "That ok?"

For the first time, Kaysen actually smiled. She'd taken a couple of shots while he'd done it too, and while she didn't get to take a picture of him falling on his ass, the trick had been landed nicely. She looked over the top of it at him, and took one more shot. "Not bad." she said. Which really, it was better than not bad. That sort of thing kinda killified people pretty fast, but she wasn't about to give him too much credit. Kaysen was nothing if not an incredibly difficult sell.

"Not bad," he repeated with a laugh. "I guess that's as good as a compliment from you." It had actually felt really good. He hadn't realized how much he missed his skateboard. Chance also decided it would be a really bad idea to tell Kaysen she had a really great smile. Best not to ruin things just yet. At least she lowered the camera. Chance boarded toward her, hoping she'd not move away this time. "Maybe next time I'll fuck myself up and you can get a better shot," he said lightly.

She gave him the barest hint of a smirk. "What, you expect applause or something?" she rolled her eyes. "I do that shit all the time." she added. Really she did, she was a compulsive trick sort of girl. If she could be doing one, she was. Which was why it usually took her a while to say, get home. Straight shots weren't her forte. And lucky him, she didn't immediately back up again, she stayed put. "Why, are you planning on stalking me and doing tricks for me to get shots of?" she shot back, arching one brow at him.

"No plans to stalk," Chance assured her with a small grin. "I'll do tricks, if that means you'll be around, but I'm not very photogenic, obviously." He motioned toward the skateboard beneath her feet. "I showed you what I can do, don't you think I should get to see what you can do?"

"You just did, mister watching-me-from-over-there." Kaysen pointed out, motioning with a vague gesture to where he'd been when he'd first spoke to her. "And what the hell, man? You'll do tricks if I'll be around?" she asked, eyeing him warily once again. This was starting to creep her out now. He was being too nice. This had to be a massive mindfuck. Had to be. There wasn't any other possibility.

"What, that grind?" he asked with a wide grin. "Come on, I could do that when I was eleven." Chance tried to ease the conversation back to when she wasn't looking at him that way. Was she really that paranoid? "And hey, I'm just saying, we have something in common. It's just more fun to show off when you have someone there to actually watch you." Or something. Christ, why hadn't he ever taken the time to actually have conversations with girls rather than ignore that aspect of relationships completely?

"Yeah, and people don't watch me. They wait to see what they can throw in my path to see if I'll fall and break my face." Kaysen said. She took a picture of him. Since this would probably be the last time she'd be speaking to him, after all. After so many years of being treated like the school punching bag, Kaysen was in fact that paranoid. No one had ever given her reason not to be and when you didn't want to be a victim anymore--you didn't give anyone the opportunity to do it to you again.

Chance shrugged. Those people had nothing to do with him. He wasn't someone who was going to be outwardly cruel to someone he didn't know, unless he had good reason to. Kaysen didn't know him, so he could understand her hesitation, but it still slightly irritated him that she would lump in into the group of moronic fuckers who made her life hell. He gave her a sincere grin. "I know how much it hurts to fall and break your face, so I really have no intentions of throwing anything in your path. And people don't watch me either, so it sucks when I can pull of a backside nosegrind and have no one there to tell me how awesome I am."

"Look, Chance?" Kaysen said, eyeing him and finally putting her camera back down and into her bag. "Whatever you're trying to do here? Stop it. This whole 'hey, we both skateboard' thing is really not gonna work, I'm not gonna magically decide that you're cool when everyone else in the entire town has sucked up until now. So just...give it up. I'm not going to fall for whatever dumb little twisted sadistic game you've got plotted out in your head. Just...fuck off or something. Leave me alone."

Okay, so yeah, being told to fuck off by a girl you've been watching for nearly a year? Sucks. Especially when Chance had finally gathered enough courage to talk to her. But he had the stigma of being "dark and creepy" at school, and yeah, he'd gotten into fights, and yeah, he was on meds. So of course that had to mean he was a world class bastard. And world class bastards didn't get their feelings hurt by sophomores. Hell, world class bastards didn't have feelings. Instead he began to roll backward. If she wanted him to leave her alone, he would. For now. "See this?" he asked, pointing to his right ear as he got farther away. "A bunch of jocks smashed my head in on the sidewalk a few years back. You're not the only one who's been pushed around. Maybe you should get to know me before lumping me into a group with those fuckers."

She looked, even though she had told herself she wasn't going to. That she just wanted him to go away and anything he was going to say to her was just part of the trick. But...well. She did see that his ear was a little mangled. "Nobody wants to get to know me." she said. "No one ever has." she said, voice a little quiet. Now she was being hit with a wave of feeling bad. God, wasn't it bad enough that Thom did this to her all the time? What the hell?! Did everyone start dosing heavily on crazyflakes lately?! Her world was spinning.

Chance stopped abruptly, watching her several feet away. "So maybe I want to get to know you," he told her. She probably wouldn't believe him, or she'd think he had some ulterior motive. But Chance was persistent when he wanted to be. "Look, I'm not going to bullshit you, Kaysen. Ask anyone in school and they'll probably have more than enough stories to tell you about me. Some of them are true, some of them aren't, but I'm not an asshole. All I'm asking if you at least get to know me a little better before you tell me to fuck off."

"You know? You act like I'm being a bitch here, but do you have any idea what would happen to me if I so much as spoke to 'anyone in school'?" she snapped, all out of sorts now and she knew she was upset, cheeks flushing and she felt the terrible urge to cry. What was wrong with everyone lately?! "Do you? Do you know what happens to me if I don't try to remain as invisible as fucking possible? Maybe in your world you could ask around to some people and not make yourself a target but I can't." God, why was she even explaining this?! She grabbed her backpack and started to push off, wanting to get as far away as possible before she did something dumb like cry.

Chance knew he probably should let her go, but he felt a sudden wave of guilt when he saw her cheeks flush and her voice waver. He pushed off after her, cutting her off and reaching out to take her arm before she could crash into him. "Yeah, some loser kids make fun of you, or push you around, or laugh at you. It happens. They don't know who you are, so why do you care? They're the assholes, not you. You don't have to ask anyone about me...fuck, ask me yourself, I don't care. I didn't mean to upset you."

Kaysen immediately tried to get herself out of his grasp. Anyone who grabbed her wanted to hurt her, or so her experience went. So she panicked. It was immediate, totally unchecked, and not even something she thought about. it was just there. She made a tiny little frightened squeak, and wrenched her arm back, enough that her board went out from beneath her and she wound up on her back on the sidewalk. She wasn't there long, as she scrambled back away from him. "Don't! I didn't do anything to you! Please don't!" she cried, honest to god afraid. Tears stung the backs of her eyes, and all she could think was that no one would help her. Isaac wasn't around and neither was Thom, and even if she cried for help, people wouldn't come.

"Shit, I'm sorry," Chance said hurriedly, stepping off his skateboard fast enough to send it rolling backward. This was not going well at all. He leaned down to help her up, his chest constricting painfully. Hadn't she been smiling at him like, five minutes ago? Now she was looking at him like he was going to be the one bashing her ear against the sidewalk. It made him feel like a complete bastard. "I'm not going to hurt you! Just let me help you up."

Kaysen pushed back more and she shook her head, shaking. She curled up, bringing her knees to her chest and she hugged them, looking up at him. "Just stay back." she said, voice tight and definitely wavering all over the place, tears welling. God, she hated when They made her cry. "I didn't do anything, please just...lemme go." she looked up at him and didn't know what to do. "It's not 'some losers'." she whispered, tears starting to escape now. "It's everyone. Please leave me alone. I promise I won't come here anymore and you can have it and I'll board somewhere else," she tried, rambling.

It had been a while since anyone had actually physically hurt her, and she wasn't looking forward to it happening again. She didn't know why he was saying he was sorry, maybe he was. She didn't know. All she knew was people didn't do this stuff with her. They just didn't.

Oh, God, he'd made her cry. He was fucking terrible at this. He kept his hands from her, not wanting to scare her further. He lifted them, palm up, to show her he wasn't going to touch her. "Kaysen, I'm not going to hurt you." Chance knelt down onto his knees in front of her, his voice calm now. "This isn't about skateboarding, okay? I'm sorry I upset you, but I'm not going to touch you." His heart was pounding in his chest and he swallowed. "Is it really everyone? Your brother? Your parents?" He didn't know many people who reacted so violently to a simple touch on the arm. "I mean, they don't...hurt you, do they?"

She shook her head, wiping at her eyes angrily. God she was stupid. Stupid crying, stupid boys, stupid everyone. "Just everyone at school. My parents ignore me." she said. About the only person who didn't was Isaac, really. Though at school they didn't really talk or anything. They just kept to themselves. "Look, don't worry about it it's not your problem." she added, sniffling and wishing a hole would open up in the earth and like, eat her.

"I know it's not my problem," Chance said, setting his hands on his knees. "I'm sorry your parents ignore you...sometimes I wish my mom would ignore me." It was the truth. She was stifling at times, even though he was more or less immortal now. The thought still sounded strange and made him inwardly shudder. "And it's not everyone at school, Kaysen. I'm not making fun of you, or pushing you around, am I? And I'm not about to, or planning some sadistic joke." He caught her gaze square on. "I promise. If there was something I could do, or say, to prove that to you, I would."

"Leave me alone." she said quietly. She just...didn't believe it. What the hell was this? Some senior no less, just showing up out of the blue to what--play knight in shining bloody armor? Not likely. That was just crazy. And people had tried this kind of thing before. 'Oh, I'm not like the others, I'll be your friend!' then the second she fell for it, they hit her upside the head with the ridicule and laughter, pointing and talking about how stupid she was to think that anyone would want to give her the time of day. "I don't know what you're trying to prove, or pull, or what. Just...go away." She wiped at her eyes again, looking pointedly away.

Chance nodded and stood, realizing he'd just messed everything up. Maybe he needed a few lessons in female interaction. Instead of trying to get to know her, he ended up making her cry somehow. Turning he walked to his skateboard and picked it up. His temper was slightly frayed, and he certainly didn't want to make this any worse than it was, but damn, it wasn't fair. Turning back toward her, he frowned. "You keep saying everyone. But given that I think I would belong to that group, you got it wrong. I haven't done anything to you. You don't even know me, yet you've already judged me and labeled me as an asshole." He set his board down unceremoniously. "No offense, but that doesn't really make you any better than the rest of them, does it?"

Kaysen didn't answer him. If he wanted to think that, maybe he'd just fuck off and stay there. Either way, he obviously didn't get it. You didn't spend your entire life being the object of constant ridicule for other people's sick enjoyment and just trust anyone who came by saying they were different. She'd heard it all before, and it had so far never been the truth. Not once. There was absolutely no reason she should trust that he was for any reason going to be different. She'd had her feelings destroyed far too many times to trust anyone easily ever again. So...yeah. She kept her mouth shut, stood up and started off, putting her board down and skating for home--trying not to burst into hysterical tears at least until she was out of earshot.

Sighing, Chance got onto his board and caught up with her, knowing he shouldn't, knowing he should just turn and go home and let her think what she will of him. But one thing he absolutely hated was being judged. Sure, most of the time he didn't care what people thought of him, but sometimes he did, depending on the person. "Kaysen," he said, pushing off a bit harder when she ignored him. He was panting by the time he caught up with her, and he cut her off, holding a hand up quickly. He'd be lucky if he could get five words out before she beaned him with that bag of hers. "I'm sorry," he said, for what felt like the billionth time since he saw her. "I was just...I saw you last year, and I know how people were to you, and I guess...it doesn't matter. But I don't trust people that easily either," he continued quickly. "I don't talk to many people...hardly anyone, actually, which I'm sure you could tell by the constant inserting of my foot into my mouth. The only two friends I had in school, well, one's in the hospital, and the other hasn't spoken since, and..." Okay, so now he's spilling his guts out to this girl, who had, on more than one occasion, told him to fuck off. "I don't know you, and I wanted too, and I fucked that up, and I'm sorry. I can't promise I won't try to talk to you again, because I like you, and I don't like to make false promises." Stopping, Chance inhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair and skating out of her path. "I'll leave you alone now...I really am...I'm sorry." Flushed, Chance turned his board and started off in the opposite direction.

If you knew how people were to me, you wouldn't say that it was just some people. You'd know it's everyone. That like, the only person that doesn't actively hate me is my brother. And maybe Thom, but the most he drums up in public is indifference. Ask me how many times I had to have my locker repainted because of shit that was written all over it. Ask me how many times last year I was asked how many people I'd done this year and if I could count that high if I ran out of fingers and toes. Kaysen still didn't say anything, because at this point, she wanted to go home, pretend she hadn't left the house at all today, and like, go to sleep.

She didn't even know anymore if she was going to sneak to the party or not, because she didn't know if she was up to it. Anything was better than being more and more confused by Chance, though, because her brain was just broken with the encounter. It had exploded. The insides of her skull were decorated with dripping brains.