I Can't Tell You

Who: Leija and Thom
When: late morning
Where: phone, then her house

Thom had been up for a while, his thoughts warring, fighting over which was more important, more worrying - Kaysen's fight, or Leija's disappearance. He'd told himself that Isaac was handling Kaysen - anyway, she was fine and as long as she stayed out of trouble, she'd stay fine. Still, he'd woken early that morning and started looking into more protection spells. Unfortunately, he didn't have one entitled 'spell to stop people getting into stupid fucking fights'. Damn white magic bullshit. He'd found one that might work for the future though and made a few notes on some ingredients he'd ahve to find, before deciding that that was enough for now and turning his mind to his other worry.

Leija, and what the hell had happened last night. He didn't think it was him - he'd gone over their conversation several times in his head and at no point could he see where he may had fucked up. She'd just... run off, like some kind of Cinderella about to turn into a damn pumpkin - not that it had even been anywhere near midnight anyway. No, Thom was totally baffled and so, having looked at it from every damn angle and still come up blank, he did the only thing that remained. He called the girl.

It had been another child. Children tore Leija up more than anything, and when the little girl in Chile had turned her wide brown eyes on the angel's shining form as the blood seeped out of her head, she had wanted nothing more than to take her place. Leija had flown home with her heart feeling like it was torn into a billion pieces and sat up crying nearly all night. Her pillow was stained red, and she was surrounded by tons of kleenex with stiff dried blood on them. When the phone rang, she was curled up, still in her jeans, sleeping the dead sleep of the utterly exhausted. It took a few shrill rings before she even opened her eyes, and she fumbled for the phone on her nightstand, knocking it off onto the floor. "Dammit," she muttered, picking up the receiver and clearing her throat. "'Lo?" she murmur-whispered, not even thinking who it could be.

Thom heard a bang, then a voice that he wasn't convinced sounded like Leija. "Hi - erm, is Leija there?" he asked, thinking he should check, even though she'd told him that she lived just with her dad. His own voice came out uncertain, nervous even - much more nervous than he'd intended it to. He was fairly certain he hadn't fucked up, but the moment the phone had started ringing, the doubts had begun to creep in.

Her eyes popped open and she sat up a little too abruptly. It made her a little dizzy. It was Thom. Of course it was Thom, she'd only had to bail out on him in the worst possible way the night before. Leija tried to ignore the panicky thing that told her to say 'no' and hang up. She couldn't, he ... he'd looked so worried for her. "It's me," she said, clearing her raw throat again. Maybe she could just say she was sick. "Hi."

"You okay?" he asked, nervousness replaced by concern - she really didn't sound like herself. At all. "Is something wrong, has something happened?" Because, in all honesty, she sounded like she'd been crying.

Leija put a hand to her forehead. Nooo, don't do this. Hate me, think I'm crazy, just ... don't, you don't want this, trust me. You don't. It took her a minute to answer, because just being asked if she was okay made her want to cry again. "I'm okay, everything's fine," she tried to assure him, knowing he probably wouldn't buy it. " ... I'm really sorry, Thom."

He didn't buy that for a minute. "You don't sound okay," he told her, gently. "Come on, what's up. You duck out on me last night, for, like, no apparent reason. And now... Is something wrong." Did I do something wrong? The question was unasked, but his tone said what his words didn't. It was there.

Yes. Everything's wrong. My very existance is wrong, and you're great and awesome and I want this so badly I can taste it, but I can't explain anything to you because I'll lose you anyway so maybe it's best if we don't do this at all and let it hurt now instead of later but I so don't want to because you're good and sweet and funny and awesome and god don't ask me to give it up already. Okay, so she was crying again. At least it was quiet. "I wish I could tell you," she said, voice hitching only once. It was a very bad answer, she knew that.

Okay. Now? he was officially concerned. Really, really fucking concerned. "Leija? What's the matter? Come on, what's happened?" He was pacing now - there was no way he could sit still. No way at all.

She shook her head even though he couldn't see her. "I can't. It's ... it's okay," she tried, utterly contradicting herself. She'd never had to have this conversation before. Nobody'd ever cared but her dad, and he knew.

He raised an unseen eyebrow at that - not even pretending to buy it for a moment. "No. It's not okay. You? Are not okay - you sound like you're crying and at no point in time does that ever equal okay."

Oh god, now he was being all sweet and protective and making her wish he was there to cry on. That was a terrible sign. She took a moment to try and compose herself, with minimal success. "I'm a girl, I cry all the time --" which wasn't true at all, "-- I'm just ... it'll be okay, Thom, you don't ... have to ..." Care. So stop. It's better for you.

He raised a hand and kneeded his forehead. "Let me ask you one question," he told her. "It this me? Is this something I've done? Did. Last night or something?" he asked. "Should I just... Do you just... Want me to leave you alone?" Oh god, he really didn't want to know the answer to that. What if it was? What if she did? He didn't want to leave her alone. He pulled himself up on the flailing line of thought - he was confident about the answer. He knew it wasn't him - it made no sense for it to be him, if she was being like this. It had to be something else. He still asked though.

Leija'd been so wrapped up with her internal monologue that she hadn't even considered that he might think that. She looked genuinely surprised on her end of the phone, then horrified. "No!" she said, sitting up straighter. "No of course it's not you. It's got nothing to do with you, I just ... I just can't explain it right now, okay? But it's not you at all, and I don't want you to leave me alone." Her voice softened up considerably at the end of that sentence and she swallowed hard again. She was doing a fantastic job of screwing this up.

Thom considered this. And what he wanted to do. And what she'd said. "Right. Good. Then I'm coming over," he told her, hanging up and dialling the number for a cab before she had a chance to argue - if she called him back, the line would be engaged as he hassled the cab company about how quickly they could get there.

She blinked. And her heart fell down into the basement. "Thom?" she asked the dead line, once. Oh god no! No he couldn't! She tried calling him back, got the busy signal, and slammed the phone down. She was a mess! It looked like someone'd been stabbing her in the eyes, she had to clean up! Leija flew into the bathroom and turned the shower on.

Ten minutes it took for the cab to arrive. Which was fine, because Thom was putitng a bag together. She'd got his worry on now, with what may or may not be wrong and he was just adding a few bits, including a pretty piece of crystal his mom had taught him how to enchant with a calming spell. Apparently when you placed it on a windowsill, it was meant to give off a calming aura. It wasn't very powerful, not even enough really to be actively noticed. All in all, Thom had thought it was pretty damn useless, but it went in the bag, along with a couple of other bits and bobs.

The cab let him off at the bottom of her driveway and he hefted the small bag before walking up and ringing her doorbell, some twnety minutes or so after he'd hung up on her.

After the fastest shower of her life, Leija'd thrown on some clothes and ran downstairs. He didn't seem to be there yet, which was a relief. Music was coming from her dad's study, which was also good. It meant she could get Thom upstairs if he insisted on coming over -- something that made her feel slightly tingly, she had to admit -- without parental interference. The instant the doorbell rang she was opening it, red hair still wet and curling slightly around her shoulders. Her face was clean, though her eyes were bloodshot and red-rimmed. She could really just stare at him for a beat or two.

Going over there had been an instinctive thing. He wasn't good with people he cared about being upset and him not being there to help in any way he could. It had seemed the natural thing to do at the time. And now he was here - he actually wasn't sure what to do next. He looked at her, taking in the wet hair - but mostly the blood-shot eyes. He heard the music playing in the background. So, her father was home. "Hi," he said, not wanting to immediately launch straight into 'so, tell me what's wrong now'.

There was a chin-trembling instant where she almost lost it again, from a mixture of emotions. Worry, relief that he was there, that gut-twisting sadness that she couldn't tell him the truth, exhaustion ... but she clamped down on all of it hard, and the feeling passed. Mostly. "Hey," she said softly. After a beat, she reached out to take his hand, turning to start leading him for the stairs. Wherever this conversation was going to go, she wanted privacy for it.

He followed her up the stairs in silence, figuring from her past behaviour that there was at least a disinct possibility that her father would not be cool with her having a boy in her room. Hell, Thom could appreciate that if he was ever a father of a teenage girl? Damn straight she wouldn't be having boys in her room! Not that he tried to talk her out of it or anything - he just took her hand and quietly followed her up the stairs.

As soon as she opened her door again, Leija realized her mistake. Her bed. Still covered in kleenex, pillow still splotched with red. Oh. God. She froze for a couple of beats, then whirled and tried herding him out again.

Thom as taller than she was - and he'd spotted the bed at the same time as she had. No, well, yes, but more importantly, he'd spotted the blood. And he was going exactly nowhere. He wasn't exactly a small guy and she could push all she liked, but he wasn't budging. In fact, he pushed back and herded her into the room, shutting the door behind them. "Okay - so I asked you before what happened," he said, looking from her, to the blood, and back again. "Aaaaand, I'm gonna ask that again." He looked pointedly at her, this time his eyes doing a sweep of her from top to toe, looking for obvious injuries.

Leija had no choice but to move backwards. "Nothing!" came out of her mouth before she could stop it. She looked fine, for all intents and purposes, barefoot in some flannel pants and a t-shirt. Nothing was bleeding, she certainly couldn't claim female issues on him ('cause ew) and ... yeah, she was stuck. Goddammit. "It's my eyes," she said, quieter, watching his expression. "Something's ... wrong. Wires crossed, I dunno, but ... I cry blood. It's ... medical." She crossed her arms over her chest. No, she wasn't going to tell him anything else. He'd surely run screaming for the hills.

"You cry blo... Wait, what - why were you crying at all?" he asked her, distracted, but only for a moment. He totally bought into the 'it's medical' angle - but that only freed him up to get back to the point. Which was why she was so upset.

PLEASE stop asking me that! I don't want to lie to you, I suck at it! Why hadn't she known beforehand that this would happen someday? Oh wait, she had. She just didn't think it would've happened so soon. Leija squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. "I can't tell you, Thom," she said again. "Look, I'm fine, see? Whole and not hurt and okay, I promise. You can't let it go at that?" She looked at him again, expression pleading.

He looked down at her, really not looking happy. He was torn and he knew it. He couldn't just leave it at that, couldn't just accept that she wasn't going to tell him, give him an opportunity to do something. But at the same time... Her words 'I can't tell you'. he could hear himself saying those words one day. It was inevitable. And he knew what was at stake for him. How could he pressurise her when if the tables were turned he'd be unable to say anything, even if he wanted to? Looking distinctly unhappy, he backed off with a nod. "'Kay," he murmured, swallowing, but not turning away.

Leija stared at him with pained horror. She felt like she just kicked his puppy in the nuts. Before she could overthink it, she crossed the small distance between them and wrapped her arms around his ribs in a tight hug. She couldn't bear to think that she'd hurt him somehow or he was going to be sad about this. Aggravated worry she could handle. But not that tone in his voice. "I'm sorry," she was saying into his chest, her voice rambling on without her permission, a lump in her throat again. "It's not you, I promise, I swear, I wish I could but ... but I'd lose you and you'd think I was crazy and I don't wanna do that, not yet it's too soon and this is really good and I'm sorry please don't be mad --"

He closed his eyes as she rambled at him, his arms going around her. "It's okay," he told her. "I'm not mad. And... You don't have to tell me."He paused for a moment, gathering himself, sorting his own thoughts, centering them. When he spoke again, he sounded stronger, much more with it - much more like he normally did, though his voice was still soft. "If you ever decide though, that you want to tell me? I'm always there - and I'm not going to think you're crazy," he promised, wondering what the hell it could be that would make her think that.

She knew that there were ways she could prove it to him. She could show him her wings, for one, even let him see that she could use them, let him look through the journal from her mother, fill him in on the little details, all of that, but ... She couldn't. He might think that he'd gone crazy, and tearing down someone she cared about's reality wasn't something she had the strength for today. She'd started to cry again, and hated herself for it. She was going to ruin his shirt. "I have to d-do that somet-times, though," she insisted, needing him to understand that. "Like luh-last night. I h-have to sometimes."

The thought occurred to him then. Maybe she was like him. Or if not totally like him (because that would be weird and eww, didn't want to even go there, since his curse was passed down through the family line and... No, not going there!) sort of like him. In that sometimes there were just things in life that came first. No matter how much you might not want them to. "Okay," he told her, telling himself that he'd just have to accept that. He knew he couldn't though - not really. He wouldn't push her for information she wasn't willing to give, but he wasn't exactly happy about not knowing either. He'd go along with it, he'd agree, but he couldn't totally accept it.

Her mind began a lovely fantasty in which she did tell him. She just spilled it all out there on the table, popped her wings out, and revealed herself to him. And he accepted it without blinking an eye. Even said her strangeness was beautiful, like Ten had. Then professed that he thought he loved her and they kissed while the violins swelled and the credits started to roll. But that's why fantasies were fantasies, and needed to stay in her head. "Okay," she whispered back, not sure what else to say. Leija pulled away just enough to wipe at her eyes and frown at his shirt.

There was blood on her face, he saw as she wiped at her eyes. God - there was blood on her face. He reminded himself about the tears thing, but again, it was different to see it. He reached out, wetting the tip of his thumb with his tongue and wiping a streak away without really thinking what he was doing.

She glanced up at him sheepishly. Yeah, she knew how awful it looked. She leaned her cheek into his touch while it was there and sighed softly. "Sorry," she murmured for what felt like the billionth time. Subject change. "What's in the bag?" she asked.

The bag. Hmm, did he actually want to answer that question? When it could be summed up as 'first aid kit and magic supplies'? Not really. "Oh, not much - I guess I'm just used to having things with me. I grabbed it on the way out, hardly gave it a thought," he lied, feeling really bad about that.

That sounded kind of odd to Leija. Especially for a guy, but ... who knew, right? She sure as hell didn't have any room to call anybody on any weirdness. She let him go a bit reluctantly, moving to her dresser to get an astringent pad and wipe her cheeks off with it. They removed blood as well as makeup, and she went through a lot of them. That done, she started to strip the sheets off of her bed, not really sure what to say.

He watched her as she turned away and started busying herself round the room, feeling really bad about lying to her. He cross to her window and leaned against the sill, thinking to himself that he could just simply wait until she wasn't looking and then just place the crystal on the windowsill. She'd probably never even notice it was there, it'd still do it's job, he wouldn't have to answer any questions and... Or, you could just give it to her. Idiot! he thought to himself. Except that would lead to odd questions and possibly not ones he wanted to answer - and, really, it would be so much easier just to sidestep the whole thing and just leave it. Except, then she might find it and throw it out, not knowing what it was for - if he gave it to her, she might keep it. But - he didn't really look like a new age-y type and it was bound to lead to odd questions and...

Thom rolled his eyes at himself in disgust. Reaching into his bag, he took out the lump of crystal which was about the size of a golf ball, but with a flattened base and in no way at all smooth, it's surface rugged and generally uncut. It was pretty only in the way it caught the light, when it seemed to have some kind of inner fire roiled rather than flickered. He fingered it for a moment, then placed it down on the windowsill - though he kept his hand on it. "Leija?" he asked, to get her attention.

Oblivious to his dilemma, Leija piled up the sheets and pillowcase in the dirty clothes, looking up as he said her name. She found that even under the circumstances, she was glad that he was there. She just kind of wished she'd been able to clean her room up some. "Yes?" she asked, arching an eyebrow at him.

And that was, of course, when the other angle occured to him. And, shit - I've known you, like, less than a week and I'm giving you gifts and... this is going to seem weird, isn't it? There'll be messages and signals and I have no idea what you'll read them as being and ohshitohshitohshit.... But she was looking at him now. And that damn crystal was too big to hide and... He hid his discomfort well as he held it out in his hand. "I had this lying around - apparently it's meant to be caling, or some such bull. I don't really believe in all that, but I thought maybe - you might like it?" he asked her, brushing it off as much as he could. And then regretting his delivery even as he said it.

She looked fairly blank as she looked from his face to what was in his hand and then back. It was a crystal, she could see that much. She took a couple of steps closer, reaching out to take it and examine it closer. It was pretty. She held it up, angled to catch the sunlight coming in through the window. It was very pretty. Leija looked up at Thom again and gave him a little half-smile. He was running through a lot of firsts with her. "Are we going out?" she asked him after a couple of beats. Really, it was something she'd been wondering all the previous day. "I mean, not to rush or anything. I just ... don't want to have a boyfriend and not know that I do." She smiled a little broader.

He laughed a little at that - though it was fuelled by relief for the fac that she wasn't looking at him like he was some complete freak for giving her a crystal. He knew he'd been avoiding the 'G' classification in regards to her, but for no real reason. After all, they'd talked every day since they'd met, and he definitely didn't have an interest in dating anyone else. "I guess we are - if that's okay by you, of course," he told her, returning her smile.

"I think I can handle that," she said, looking immensely pleased by that. She looked at the crystal again, not at all thinking it was a weird gift. It was different, and from Thom, and therefore she liked it. And omg she had a boyfriend. Wait, when did this happen? Even thought it had been just then. She wasn't sure if she should be horrified at herself or elated. Since the night had been such shit, she decided on elated, bounced a little on her toes, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

She was smiling - there was definite longer-term smiling there. Which really helped Thom's stateof mind. He still wasn't over being twitchy about the fact there was something really serious he didn't know about, but her smiling helped. A lot. He went with that, putting his arms around her waist and pulling her in, leaning down to brush a kiss against her lips before drawing back. "So - I bleive you still owe me a fact. I never did get one yesterday," he reminded her.

"So my freakish eye-blood doesn't count as a fact?" she inquired, lifting an eyebrow at him. "I think that could at least count for two facts, seeing as how one of the ones I got was that you hate peas." There was something unaccountably theraputic about being held like this. Her thumb ran over the roughness of the crystal that was still cradled in her palm behind his shoulder.

"Ahh," he told her, stroking the pad of his thumb against her back. "That's today's fact. I still msised out on yesterday's fact - since I never got the alone-time you promised me..." Actually, he was fairly sure that had been alone time he'd promised her, but who was keeping score?

Leija was, apparently. "I think that was the other way around," she said, smiling and ignoring the little guilty papercut-feeling that was. Yeah, they'd missed out on it, and it was her fault. She gave a dramatic glance to each side. "We're alone now, though, so ... I don't think you can cry too hard about it." Yes, she was still avoiding giving him a fact, so what?

"Okay, so I'll give you that - I promised you alone time. And I would have given it to you too," he added with a small smile. Where did you go - I want to know... It took a great deal of self control not to ask again and to move on. "But, you're right, we have it now. And I promise not to cry that it's only a little late." As if he cried over anything - nobody would believe that he could be the sort.

"Good," she said, smiling at him and la di da, continuing to ignore the fact that she'd screwed up their evening. But ... at least she'd been there for the girl. Whoever rest her soul. "Because it's a new rule that only one of us can be a blubbering idiot a day, and I think I covered that. ... what shall we do with our alone time?"

"Hmmmm," he considered, as though that was a really difficult question. "I'm not sure." He cocked his head, his dark, shaggy hair falling to the side a little, for once out of his deep brown eyes. "What would you like to do?" he asked her, innocently.

They were, indeed, very lovely eyes. She liked them. He had nice eyebrows. Her boyfriend had excellent eyebrows. Surely, the apocolypse must be coming. She had a boyfriend. Leija realized she was staring and thought maybe that was okay. "I dunno, I'm new to all this. You're the one who knows what they're doing, here."

Thom looked amused. "I do, do I?" he asked her. He wondered, absently, if he should break it to her that she was his second girlfriend and maybe the fifth girl he'd dated at all - not including Isaac's painful attempts at blind dates, which were just much better forgotten - and the third girl he'd ever kissed. Possibly not. It might drop him in her estimation, since she seemed to think that he had some kind of air of great experience about him. He pushed all that to the back of his mind and leaned down to kiss her instead.

Leija was fine with kissing. Not that she didn't like talking to him too -- as they'd proven over and over -- but seeing as how they were alone in her bedroom ... kissing felt like a very natural thing to do. It was incredibly reassuring. He was there, and he wanted to be there, even if she was weird and avoidy about stuff she'd want to know herself if their positions were reversed. She rose on her toes and kissed him back with warm enthusiasm.

Eventually, though, he had to break away, pulling back and reaching up to push a lock of hair out of her eyes. It was drying now, he noted and it was straight than it had been when wet. He reached behind her and took the crystal out of her hands, setting it on the windowsill. "It should stay there," he told her, softly. "Works best on a windowsill."

"Okay," she said softly, looking at it for a moment with a smile. "It's really pretty, Thom, thank you." She realized that she hadn't said that yet, and punctuated it with a soft kiss to his jaw. She felt a lot better. Tons. And even if it didn't last terribly long, it was really nice to have for a while. "I guess you'll have to meet my dad sometime now," she murmured with a soft chuckle.

"As long as it's not as he comes bursting through that door demanding to know why you ahve some guy in your room, I can cope with that," Thom told her, his gaze twitching towards the door as she mentioned her father - the father, he had to note, that she'd felt the need to lie to about going round to his house. And suddenly, being just upstairs from such a father made him kinda nervous.

Leija noted the nervous door-glance, and couldn't help but feel faintly amused. She put her fingers on his cheek to get his attention back on her and smiled. "He doesn't own a shotgun, he's very mild-mannered," she assured him, bemused. "That and he's playing, he'll be down there for hours. No worries, okay?"

Thom's gaze returned to her."That's easy for you to say - you're not the guy he'd assume was busy attemtping to corrupt his little girl," he pointed out. "So - when do I get my fact?" he asked her, drawing her a little closer - and shifting slightly on the windowledge. It wasn't the world's most comfortable seating position.

"That's not what you're doing?" she asked, feigning innocence for a second before she laughed. He was comfortable to lean on, but she was sure the windowledge wasn't doing wonders for his ass. She gave him another little squeeze and pulled back. Only she didn't let go so he'd come with her. Bed, the bed was much better to sit on. ... right. "Okay, I absolutely loathe the color pink. It makes me vaguely ill and homocidal in large doses." She nodded sagely. "Where's mine? You owe me for today."

"Me? No. Well - maybe a little bit," he admitted, taking a seat on the edge of her bed. "As for a fact...." This is the first time I've sat on a girl's bed since I hit puberty.... Not a good fact. "When I was eight, I broke my arm falling out of a tree that Isaac dared me I couldn't climb. Turns out, he was right." Better fact.

It was less of a bed without any sheets, right? That wasn't ... encouraging or anything, was it? Wait, what? Leija dismissed the confusion with the glaring fact that nothing was going to happen, and sat down next to him. She pushed back a little and drew her legs up to cross. "Which arm?" she asked him.

"Left," he told her, holding up the arm. "It was a pretty nasty break too - I was in plaster for a couple of months. Which sucked. I guess it would at any time, but daamnit, at eight, it really hit hard on my tree climbing and general havoc-making time. I couldn't even ride my boke!" he exclaimed in mock-horror.

She laughed a bit. She really couldn't see him being a hyper havoc-making kid, but who knew. Leija snagged his left arm as he lifted it and planted a kiss on it near the elbow. Since she didn't know where the break had been or anything. "I've never broken anything. That must suck."

He laughed a little as she kissed his elbow. "Actually, it was nearer there," he said, pointing to a spot just up from his wrist. "And yeah, it was a piss in the ass, but it was nearly ten years ago now, so I'm starting to deal," he teased.

"Well I'm glad you'll probably be recovered by your mid-thirties," she teased back. She kissed that spot too, just for good measure. 'Nearly ten years' made her wonder again exactly how old he was. "When's your birthday?" she asked. Since they were going out now and all, she should know that.

"Maybe - if I really work at it," he agreed, turning his hand as he kissed his arm to stroke the side of her face. Her skin was so soft. "November 11th - I'll be eighteen," he added with a crooked smile. He was looking forward to that - and Isaac could stop his annual few months crow about being older. "How about you?" he asked her, letting his hand drop and falling into a more relaxed position, leaning on one elbow.

She liked that. His fingers had very nice callouses on them. In fact, she caught his wrist and pulled his hand down into her lap to toy with it, tracing the lines. "Mm, it just happened," she told him. "Right before we moved. July 23rd." Yeah, that was a crap-ass birthday present, but hey. It had brought her here.

His eyes flickered down for a moment to watch her playing with his hand, he made no move to pull it back. In fact he adjusted his position slightly so that he could lounge more comfortably and still have her hold it. It was calming, nice. There was a moment when he wondered how much of that was the crystal in her window, then dismissed it. He'd prefer to think it was her playing with his hand. "July 23rd - okay. So, I don't have to worry about what to buy you for a while then," he joked.

Leija also was feeling very zen now. But as far as she knew, it was all him. She turned her wrist to compare the size of her hand to his, and smiled some. She just naturally had small hands, and his looked huge in comparison. It was funny, the little things she kept discovering that she liked about him. "Until Christmas, at least, you're all good," she said, glancing up at him with a smirk. "And I get a couple months to figure out what you'd want."

"Tiny small hands," he said, hold his palm against hers and raising both their hands slightly before closing his fingers around hers. He tugged her towards him gently. "Three months - ages away yet," he told her. He knew that because he was sure that was how long he was going to have to wait for his new guitar, unless there was some miracle between now and then. It was faintly depressing.

"I'm a midget in disguise," she informed him sagely, allowing herself to be tugged. She shifted around and partially draped herself on his chest. Instead of the usual riot of insane butterflies, it just gave her a nice warm tingle to be there. "So what do you want?" she questioned in a murmur, still carrying that little smile.

Wrapping an arm around her, he moved slightly as she did, deciding that he was almost criminally comfortable here. "Want? YOu thinking about a present already?" he asked, amused. "Or do you just mean generally?"

"Both," she decided after a beat. Because these sorts of conversations were always revealing. "Present first, then generally." She toyed idly with the collar of his shirt.

"You're always gonna want that, aren't you?" he asked her, looking down at her. "Both - all options, everything you can get. Do you always just want to know?" he asked, not sounding put out over it, just interested and intrigued.

Leija arched an eyebrow at him. It was an astute observation, but that wasn't really surprising. "Yes," she answered honestly. To both questions. "I do always want to know. Not about everything, but about what I'm interested in. Like you. And really, the way you interpret what I say and give me options for clarification? Just makes me more curious."

"The way I interpret what you say?" Thom asked, more intrigued now. "What do you mean?" he asked her, looking gently fascinated.

"Like just now, I asked you what you wanted. Most people would assume I meant birthday present and be all 'oh, a car' or some crap. Some guys would probably waggle their eyebrows at me -- seeing as how we're on my bed and all -- and start to put the moves on. A few might assume I meant the bigger picture." She lifted a shoulder, looking back at him. "But you ... you seem to want to know exactly what people mean before you answer. Which makes me think you're a very concise and contientious person." Was that weird? She was wondering suddenly.

Thom blinked a little and thought about that. "I do that a lot?" he asked her. Thinking about it, he guessed that he did - always had done, but he'd never really noticed it before.

"Yup, you do. Which is why you think I want to know everything -- it's true, by the way -- 'cause you give me options and I'm like 'hrm, didn't think of that one ... yes, want to know' and ask for both." Leija grinned a little before something else half-occurred to her and it faded some. " ... unless you've got something to hide." Because she knew about dancing around questions herself.

"Of course I have something to hide," he retorted. "I'm a rampaging psycho killer - remember," he teased. "No - I guess I just like to know what the goals are - what the question actually is. To answer the wrong question would be a complete waste of time - not to mention I'd be running the risk of making a fool out of myself," he told her. "Course, it backfires with you. You I clarify with and all I end up doing is telling you more. Not that i have a problem with that, but..." he smiled a little.

She rolled her eyes and laughed a little. "Well you don't act like one," she reminded him. About the psycho killer bit. "So I guess you're doing a good job hiding it." As for the rest of it? "You don't have to worry about making a fool out of yourself with me --" and time is all I have "-- so just go ahead and ramble on and tell me every detail about everything." Leija wrinkled her nose at him, tugging lightly on his collar.

He gave in at that, laughing slightly. "Okay - birthday. I'd like a new guitar. I've had my current one for years and it's okay, but... God, some of the ones in Fenton's in town are just so sweet! I was in there the other day and... I could have never left." He stopped himself there, well aware he was verging on 'ramble'. Which he could so easily do on his favourite subject. "Generally? What do I want? I dunno - things to be simple-" -er. Simpler. I'd take that. "To feel like I had some control over where my life would end up... Haven't we had this conversation before?"

A new guitar. Pricey. But maybe she could find a way around that. Her father was a music professor, after all, he got deals everywhere. And students who overextended their finances and had to hock things. But she made note as she listened to everything else he said. "We have," she confirmed in a soft murmur. "And I think I told you that you do have control and you didn't want to listen to me." That, over a lot of things, made her curious about him. He was a teenage male, usually -- from what she understood, at least -- they felt like they could do anything.

He closed his eyes then, lying back on the bed as he held her against him. "I know you did," he told her, his own quiet murmur the echo of hers. "But sometimes things are more complicated than that." He sighed slightly, then opened his eyes, reminding himself he wasn't to go down that road. "Anyway," he told her, his voice a little more normal. "I'm a realist - I always have been. Dreams are great, but life isn't dreams. And it's life that has to be lived, so..."

Leija was watching his face very closely, which was easy since she was so close to it. Something's been taken from him, she realized to herself. He's ... obligated. His words resonated with her deeply, because yes, sometimes things were more complicated than that. She immediately wanted to know what he meant, what he was really saying. Maybe his mom was not working but sick, or crazy, or he had an autistic brother in the attic or ... something. The tone in his voice before he adjusted it made her sad in a very familiar way. "Yeah," she breathed. Eyes moving away, she put her head on his chest and listened to his heart.

He was quiet for a long moment, before he shook his head slightly on the bed. "Sorry - I just turned into a depressing son of a bitch, didn't I? I didn't mean to. Ignore me if I'm ever like this - I promise it doesn't happen all that often."

His voice vibrated in her ear and she looked up. Her lips pursed a bit and a frown-line appeared between her light eyebrows. "Don't do that," she said quietly. Then realized that that didn't make a lot of sense out loud. "You're not here just to entertain me, I'm not going to ignore you. I'd be pissed if you ignored me."

"Yeah, but I came over because you were upset," he reminded her. "Not to depress the hell out of you... Maybe we should talk about something else," he suggested, since one way or another, they were getting back onto things neither of them wanted to talk about. "Like - when are you gonna let me take you to the movies? Since I owe you a date."

Leija was fairly certain that not much else could depress the hell out of her further, but she didn't tell him that. It occurred to her that some of her bad days might scare him off completely, if he was this perturbed about her being upset at all. But she could cross that bridge when they came to it, she supposed. "Whenever you want," she answered, trying a small smile. "Not like my calendar's really busy or anything."

"No?" he asked her. "I would have thought that you'd be beating them off by now. Since you've been in town, what? A week - two?" he teased. "I can't be the only person you've met... Or am I?"

"Not the only one. I met a guy named Caleb. The night before I ran into you, I think," she said musingly, squinting one eye in thought. "He invited me to this ... movie-night thing at one of his friends' houses. I met a bunch of people there, be damned if I remember most of their names, though." She shrugged a shoulder.

Thom looked at her out of the corner of his eye. He raised an eyebrow. "A guy, eh - so, do I have competition?" he asked, though he didn't sound exactly serious or at all worried. After all, he was currently lying on her bed with her cuddled up against him and they'd just had the 'we're going out, right?' conversation. Right now, he was feeling pretty damn secure about things.

Well he did take me out vandalizing, she was wickedly tempted to say. But that was something she was going to keep to herself for a looooong while. Leija smirked a bit and rolled her eyes skyward. "I dunno, he's not a rockstar like you, but he was kinda cute," she mused, then flashed him a grin. "Naw. He seemed all Angry White Male. Nice enough, just not warm. And he's sweet on some other girl anyway. Jamie, I think? She was at the thing."

Thom stilled as Jamie's name was mentioned. Okay, so there was more than one Jamie in town. Probably. "Jamie?" he asked, trying to keep his tone casual. "Dark haired girl, bubbly type, nice smile?" he asked her.

"Yeah ..." Leija said slowly, watching him curiously. "She didn't seem real bubbly, but she had the dark hair and a tan and stuff. Cute. Might've just been a bad night or something. ... why? Ex of your's?" She lifted an eyebrow.

Oh, that sounded like the same Jamie okay. "Of mine?" Thom asked, surprised. "No, no, not at all - just that... She's the girl. The 'doesn't date, sorry Isaac I got a boyfriend now go jump' girl?" Which would make Caleb probably the 'boyfriend' in question. CAleb who had been inviting his girlfriend places. Wow, didn't you just love small town life?

Leija made an Oh! face, then looked a little chagrined as she wrinkled her nose. "Oh wow," she said. "I didn't know." Huh. It put a bit of a different perspective on things, didn't it? And she could see how guys would sort of fall on themselves for a girl like Jamie. She just looked the part. "Well that sucks," she concluded, not sure what else to say about it. Damn small towns.

"Yeah," Thom agreed, not sounding impressed. He rolled his eyes slightly. "Well, I just hope she doens't screw over your friend as well," he told her. He could ahve taken it another way, he knew. The way she'd been talking, if he'd wanted to, he could have taken from her words that she'd have been interested in Caleb, had Caleb not been interested in Jamie. But he wasn't going to do that. She was here with him and nothing serious she'd said had suggested he was second best. And if he was? He didn't want to know.

Oblivious that he could even think such a thing, Leija didn't jump to be reassuring. She'd liked Caleb, he was a cool guy, but he didn't do the things to her that Thom did, by far. It didn't even occur to her that there was even room for potential jealousy. She shrugged again. "Who knows, she sounds like a bitch." Not that she had in person, but some people were deceptive. Leija settled in some more and rested her knee on top of his thigh. He was her boyfriend, she could do that, right? "A movie soon would be awesome."

Oh, that was nice. He could get used to that - possibly too used to it, but he had self control. "Well, how about tonight? I don't have anything planned, though I realise you might have... Let's see, you've already told me you don't have a hugely active social life up and running yet. I'll let you use the 'I'm washing my hair' excuse though." He leaned in and smelt her hair, taking in the scent of shampoo. It was still slightly damp. "Though I think maybe you've already been there today..."

Leija giggled, glad for the different conversation-direction. This one, at least; she didn't like talking about people she didn't know very much. "It's a little known fact that red hair attracts dirt way faster than normal hair," she informed him. "So in a few hours I'll have to wash it again. But that's the burden of being stunning, I suppose." She sighed heavily and looked very put-upon. Though him sniffing her hair gave her a nice tingle.

"Obviously," he agreed. "And it is - stunning. You are," he told her, still talking into her hair, his eyes drifting closed as he kissed the top of her head. He was way too comfortable here.

She'd just been joking, but he sounded sort of serious. Which made her heart flutter pleasantly. Moving slowly so she didn't dislodge him too badly, she tilted her head up to kiss him. Because that just deserved a kiss. "Maybe you don't get out enough," she murmured against his lips.

He returned the kiss softly, holding back with an awareness of where they were. Best to hold back now, than to push things and have to haul himself back later, after all. Or have her slap him - not that things would get that far. "Maybe I don't," he agreed, his mind more on what they weren't going to be doing than on either what he'd said, or what he was responding to.

She wasn't paying much attention to the conversation either, so she didn't give him any crap about it. Leija was aware of where her personal boundary was, so she wasn't concerned. She trusted him. Which maybe wasn't terribly smart, seeing as how she hadn't even known him a full week yet, but there it was. To her, her bed was the same as his couch, so she just enjoyed herself, hand resting lightly on his chest.

Despite all his promises to himself, when she didn't pull away, he kissed her again, more deeply this time, pushing himself up a little to change their positions for a slightly better one - so that he was kissing her and not the other way around.

She seemed perfectly okay with that plan, as her fingers slid up his shoulder to curl in the hair at the back of his neck. She decided in a fuzzy, distant way that she must be okay at this kissing thing. Leija broke it just long enough to take a breath and smile and nip very lightly at his lower lip. He really did have the best mouth ever.

He hmm-ed a little as she dipped her fingers into his hair and nipped at his lip. That was nice, so very nice. Turning his head to a slightly better angle, he kissed her again, rolling them now so that she was lying and he was leaning over her, his hand resting on her waist, the other moving up to the back of her head.

Well that was awesome. Part of her was still dimly aware that her dad was home and it was the middle of the day, but the rest couldn't have cared less. There was something really nice about him taking up the space above her like that. Probably too nice, but it didn't stop her from kissing him back deeply. Her knee ended up pressed lightly against his hip.

It was when her knee came into contact with his hip that he stopped, the sensible part of his mind kicking it and setting off alarm bells that he was beginning to enjoy this just a little too much. Especially since the rest of his mind was going to all sorts of interesting places. Nice, good, happy, pleasureable interesting places. And that part of him made sure that it made pulling back really very difficult, but he did it anyway, his tongue darting out as if he could still taste her on his lips as he did so, his eyes not leaving her for an instant.

Leija's eyes cracked open as he pulled back, a little hazy. She didn't get it for a beat, then quite a bit of color came into her cheeks. She gave him a sheepish sort of smile, though she wasn't sure what she should say. She wasn't sorry, so that was out, and the way he was looking at her ... was kind of leeching the logic out of her brain.

He swallowed and shifted slightly, trying to think of really boring, tedious things that weren't her at all. And talking - talking would be a damn good plan. It was hot in here? Was it hot in here? He was sure the temperature had gone up. "So, does that mean a movie tonight is out - with you washing your hair and all?" he asked, his voice a little thicker than normal. But lookit! He'd managed to string a sentence together! Result!

He was doing much better than she was, then, as Leija had to repeat his sentence in her head to make it make sense. "Um ... I think ... no. I'll manage somehow. Long as you don't mind me having manky hair," she said, picking up coherency as she went. She couldn't help the stupid big happy grin on her face, even if she was blushing something awful. She was glad he hadn't gone far. Even though it was warm in here.

"I'll live," Thom assured her. "After all, you've seen me at my sweaty, just-finished-performing worst, remember?" He sstarted to lean in again to kiss her, before stopping himself. Maybe in a minute. He shoudl give himself a minute.

For that second, she'd been ready to kiss him back, but it didn't come. Leija looked at him and tried not to think about what might or might not happen if she took the initiative. "Are you uncomfortable?" she asked softly, watching his eyes.

"No - no!" he reassured her hastily, reaching for her hand. "Just that - I was getting. We were getting... Possibly a little too comfortable." Which made him uncomfortable. But he had his reasons. It was amazing what being told that you were 'impossibly fertile' did to quash those teenage guy urges. And Thom had been a sensible type to start with anyhow.

From all she'd heard about ... this kind of relationship, that seemed a little backwards to her. But then again it made sense and was relieving in a whole different way. She smiled a little and squeezed his hand. "That's okay," she said. Just in case he needed to hear it. Leija moved in again, but only to quick-smooch his cheek. "So what're we gonna go see?" she asked, to provide an out if he wanted it.

He did, in fact, need to hear it - because right now he was feeling like a complete loser. Which had a lot to do with the fact that this subject had come up a few times with Em - only there it had been much more pointed, since they'd been dating for a while at the time. Not like here where it wouldn't have been a conversation anyone, given they'd only known each other a few days and it was easily sidestepped. There, with Em, well, it had just added to everything else that had been going wrong. But she'd made it very clear that she'd thought his principles were laughable. not that she knew the real reason behind them. The girl had just been a bitch all round, really. Thom leaned into her a little as she kissed his cheek, rubbing his face against hers momentarily. "I don't know," he admitted, reluctantly pulling back. "Do you even know what's playing at the moment? I don't have a clue..."

"I don't know either. We could go see, though? If nothing's playing, we could do something else," she offered hopefully. He didn't look terribly happy, and though she wasn't thoroughly sure why, she could kind of figure it out. She also had the thought that maybe they should talk about it, but pretty well dismissed that for later. She didn't want to make him feel worse or anything. Definitely not for being an actual decent guy. Leija propped herself up a little to give him a one-armed hug, then banked to the side and sat up, sliding off the bed. She'd need jeans, and maybe he needed space.

Space was good. It was also hideously awful and he wanted her back, here and warm and against him and all limbs and kisses and... Space was good. As was avoiding either of their bedrooms for quite some time. God. He turned to half lie on his front as he watched her, snagging one of her pillows - and yes, he'd noted there were many - to lean against. "We should go see. And you realise that you've just given me the green light to hound you for the rest of the day, whether anything's playing or not, right?" he asked, battling back to normal!Thom.

She threw a smile at him over her shoulder from the closet across from the bed as she pulled out some clothes. "Oh no, whatever shall I do?" she asked in a deadpan voice. Then wrinkled her nose at him. It wasn't that she was in a huge hurry to get out -- as she liked having him in her room on her bed, which might've been part of the issue -- but she did go ahead and tell him she'd be right back as she opened the door to go down the short hall to the bathroom to change.

He dropped his head into her pillow for a moemnt as she left, then decided that getting up would be a good idea at the moment - though he had to admit that there was a certain pull towards lying on her bed. Definitely getting up, he decided, standing and wandering around the room. Okay, so he was a mosey bastard - he wanted to see what she had. He spotted her computer and smiled to himself, well able to imagine their 'conversation' over email the other night.

Leija took a little bit of time in the bathroom, splashing some water on her face and getting some composure back. She was only a little melted, and he wasn't going to push her or vice versa, so it was okay. It was okay. She changed and brushed her hair, deciding to give him some extra time just in case as she put it into two braids behind her ears. Eventually she came back in and gave him a smile.

He turned to her as she walked back in, giving her a smile that was much more like himself, his composure well and truly back in place. "You look nice," he told her. What he meant was that she looked better - less the boarderline wreck she'd been when he'd gotten here. It was good to see. He crossed to her, twitching one of the little braids with an entertained grin, before bending to kiss her softly - and only in passing this time.

She thought much the same thing about him, that he looked a lot calmer. "Thanks," she said before their lips connected briefly. She smiled up at him for a moment, then took his hand and started to lead him back downstairs. This had already been a crazy day, but she felt good. Centered. And now plus boyfriend, who saw that coming? But Leija was very much ready for a day with him. Hopefully a normal one now that she didn't feel like bawling and they weren't going to be in her bedroom.