Just the Way We Are

Who: Dean and Lullaby (and a scattering of NPCs in places)
When: Mid-morning, then evening, then night
Where: Manchester, England
NSFW

Dean looked out of the kitchen window, craning his head up towards the sky a little and smiled. He pulled back and went in search of Thia. "So - the rain looks like it's tailing off - hopefully it'll stop in a while," he told her, looking relieved. It had been raining heavily all morning, since before dawn, and that had effectively ruined their plans for the day. But maybe, if it stopped this afternoon, they could rescue the rest of the day and go do something. In the meantime, they at least had the house to themselves - his parents were at work, Scott at school.

She looked over from where she'd been messing with the choker she'd been tying round her neck, and she smiled a bit. "You mean it may actually be habitable outside? How novel!" she said, giving a brighter, playful type smile at the end of her statement. She had been up for a while, though it had taken her a little bit to get out of bed. She was feeling a little tired, though less in the manner of lack of sleep, and more in the way of energy. Dean sustained her, but didn't really give her more than she needed, and there was a bit of a distinct lack of negative energy around. If they happened to go out, however, she could always stumble upon someplace that had it. That would be good. She didn't mention it to him, however. Wouldn't, unless she started getting really bad, and she wasn't near that yet.

"You starting to get cabin fever yet?" he asked, walking over and absently straightening the choker for her. "But, yeah - looks like it might stop this afternoon, so we can get out, maybe, if you wanted to," he suggested to her.

She smiled when he fixed the choker for her, and she stopped fiddling around with it then, knowing he would have fixed it so it covered correctly. "Maybe a little." she said, making a cute face at him. She was, really. But it was partially just the area. After spending so much time in houses that were essentially out in the middle of nowhere? Being in a house that wasn't was strange. She was both freer here, as well as more confined, just in different ways. "So out would be good." she assessed. "Where will you want to take me?" she asked.

"Well, all of my original plans are out, because they involved all day stuffs, but maybe we could just see what everyone else is doing this evening," Dean suggested. It'd be a good way of at least getting out of the house, even if it was just to someone else's house. It'd be a start. "But - I was thinking maybe we could think about going away somewhere tomorrow or something," Dean said, backing away from what he'd had in mind at the last minute. The idea was there, he knew - an overnight stay somewhere, get some real alone time, but - but there was the but. Loads of them, actually. But he didn't know if his parents would let them. But he didn't know if it would be the right thing to do. But wouldn't there still be the same issues as they had with using a bedroom-space for privacy.

"I am good for non full day consuming plans." Lullaby told him, sitting back on the couch and she grabbed one of the throw pillows to kind of hug to her stomach as she leaned on the arm. "Going away somewhere like where?" she asked, perking up slightly at the suggestion. Away somewhere sounded like a them-thing to her. Unless he meant going away and taking everyone else along with them, which he really might, and she didn't know why she was thinking alone-time in the first place. Besides maybe she really wanted alone time with him. It still felt like they didn't have any in this place, and one thing she was beginning to attribute that to was the fact that Dean's room wasn't Dean's room anymore. Not even his normal version, because his parents had turned it into a guest bedroom. So, it didn't have that personal touch to it, it didn't feel like his space. That was one thing she was very aware of, because she'd been starting to do that at the house closer to Marquette, Oz and Sophie's actual one. She'd been putting touches into it, making it her room. And with the mural on the wall, whenever that was finished, it would be very much her room. This place lacked anything like that. This was Dean's home, but he was a guest here, so there was just a weirdness level to it that she couldn't quite get past yet.

Dean sat down on the other end of the couch, facing her. "Hmm, dunno - depends what you wanted, really. Castles or sheep or cities or old stuff or new stuff." He was still toying that overnight thing in his mind. Maybe if they could just go somewhere quiet for the day, that would do. "But, get out of here for a bit." He paused, then continued, his eyes holding hers. "Maybe - maybe find somewhere we can talk," he suggested, carefully, though he wasn't entirely sure why.

She thought about that, fidgeting absently with the charms on her bracelet as she thought about it. "I'm definitely up for getting out of here for a while." she said first, because that bit she was all about. She kept her gaze on his, and nodded as well. "And I'd like that." she told him. "...Are you sure we could if we were...say, going someplace that we were meant to pay attention to, like a castle or something?" she asked, pretty much thinking it wouldn't happen if that was the case. She had an idea, but she didn't know if she should bring it up or not. So she hesitated, turning the bracelet around her wrist a few times. "Maybe we could go do something...and sort of...y'know. Go overnight." Because she was old enough to rent a room someplace. She was just wondering if she should reassure him by telling him she'd get them separate beds if he wanted. Which of course he would want. He doesn't want to be sleeping with you, even if he does snuggle up in the middle of the night. That's just...cuz you're there. In the way or something. she told herself.

And there it was, the suggestion out there, the one he'd been uncertain of making himself. Why was it that sometimes they could so much think along the same lines and other times it was completely opposite. "I, yeah - thought about that. I, er - I dunno if mum and dad would let us, but, er - I... Maybe we could see?" he suggested, trying hard not to trip over his tongue too much. He took a moment, before steeling himself and pressing on. "And, well - you don't really have to pay attention. I mean, yeah, sometimes, but, maybe... There's loads of ruined castles and old monasteries and stuff. Ruins and stuff - there's never that many people at them, so, you know, there's always little corners and things. But, I just... here, it's..." He trailed off, not wanting to voice his explanation to that. That here didn't feel like home that much any more. And even though he knew there was nobody home, he always felt like he should be looking over his shoulder in case someone came home early. And at least in a quiet, albeit public, place nobody would know them. And this wasn't Marquette, this was a place where the weird didn't happen, they'd just be written off as two teenagers.

She nodded, not needing him to finish the statement. She didn't like acknowledging it, because she didn't want him to think that she didn't like it there and everything, but it did simply lack the element of things that they'd had back home. Even just now, as they were sitting in a perfectly empty house, it didn't really feel like they were alone. Maybe it was just she didn't feel as secure in things, she didn't know. Either way, that wasn't the issue they were discussing. "Could you blame it on me?" she asked. "Say I want to go...someplace where we'd have to travel to get there, and I'm weirdly insistent on it? Someplace with an interesting history maybe or...I have no idea what, i'm sure you'd be able to come up with a better story than I could. But would that work?" she asked. "Then we could kind of have both. Time to talk wandering around...wherever you pick out, and if we still need the time, we could have a room or something just in case?"

"Yeah, possibly - though there aren't really that many places you can't get there and back in a day - maybe if I sell it that they don't want us travelling really late at night. That might work. And the idea that it'd be terrible if we missed the last train home and how we'd have to sleep on the station platform and - yeah, I think I could get something out of that," Dean decided.

She poked her leg out from where it had been curled beneath herself so she could nudge his knee with her foot. "Delinquent." she accused good naturedly. "My bad influence pays off. You're adept at coming up with reasons why we should be allowed to stay out overnight someplace." she said. "I think it'd be a good idea, anyways though. I really...it'd be nice to get to talk." And properly talk. It was weird spending so much time with Dean and still not feel like she'd been with him. She figured it was just her own stupidity there, her own twitches and all. Her inability to get over him even if she knew she had to...little things.

"Yeah, it's completely your bad influence," Dean agreed, aware that until she'd made the suggestion, he'd been backing off from it. But it was okay if it was her idea. That was sufficient justification for him to do what he really wanted to anyway.

Or was it? Wasn't that part of the problem he was having? Justifying things to himself, finding justifications for things that previously had been coming down on the side of no? Wasn't that why everything was so weird right now? Wasn't that very thing one of the things he had to figure out. "You want this?" he asked her, checking that.

She looked mildly confused for a moment, before she nodded. "...yeah, if I didn't, why would I have suggested it?" she asked. "Do you not want to? We don't have to." she said quickly. "If you just...we can do whatever you want. If you don't think we'll need it or if you just...don't want to or whatever, we can figure something else out, it's fine, I don't--whatever you want." she said, rambling and she made herself stop before she mentioned the bit where she'd be sure to get two beds because the sleeping arrangements thing was just a sore topic no matter how it was approached.

"I..." he started, then stopped, looking uncertain and dropping his gaze down and to the side a little for a moment. He didn't say anything for a moment and when he looked back he had a thoughtfully determined look on his face. "How do you make decisions?" he asked her, going with the question now he'd decided to ask it. "I mean - how do you know what's the right thing to do?"

That got her really confused looking for a moment, and she had to blink at him for a moment. "How do I--you mean in general?" she asked. "The right thing to do...it's just..." She drew in a breath, letting it out slowly. Biting at her lower lip, she tried to think of how to explain that sort of thing. The questions surprised her so much that she wasn't even considering how it might fit in with what they'd been talking about. "It's something that I feel." she said eventually. "The right thing to do, it's...I know there's logic involved somewhere, and if I have to think out a situation...like...like okay tactics. That's logic. That's all head. Other decisions, I go with whatever feels right. So I guess it depends on the situation." she said, not sure that explained things properly. "Sometimes you don't have to think at all, and you just know. Or I do. I guess if we're really talking right and wrong and such...most of the time I don't have to waffle on things? I just sort of act, do what feels right or whatever, I don't have to think it through and sit and really ponder out a decision. Which isn't to say that I've never had a rough time making a decision in my life or whatever, but..." she shrugged one shoulder. "Why?" she asked. "How do you make decisions or know what's right?"

"Well, I've always... It's like there's right. And wrong. Things you do and things you don't. And I've always kinda - based my decisions on that. Because - I mean, what feels right might not be right - it might be, like, just what I want, or something. And what if what I want isn't the right thing to do? And mostly that's kinda worked, but - what if what I want might not be the strictly right thing to do, but I can justify it? And I kinda thought that maybe that made it okay, except then I started justifying more and more in loads of things and that kinda morphed into looking for excuses and then everything started falling apart and it doesn't - I don't know where the lines are any more. You trust yourself to go with what feels right though, right? I - I don't. I don't trust myself to just be able to make the right decision always," he admitted to her.

She listened, frowning lightly as she did so, and she shifted, half wanting to crawl over there to him, but she didn't figure that was an entirely wise move. So she stayed where she was, though she did sit indian style, leaned forward so her attention was on him fully. She stopped fidgeting as she focused on him as well, really wanting to understand what he was going on about. "Okay, first let's talk about Right and Wrong." she said. "Because that's the first thing you said. Right and wrong by who's definition?" she asked. "Society? Just...in general? Your own personal ideas?" she asked. "And...why would you think that what feels right to you might not be?" she asked. "What gave you the idea that your gauges are cracked in that regard?" Then she studied him for another minute. "You kinda sound suspiciously like you've got this idea that desire doesn't count in anything. And...that's not necessarily true. Honestly you shouldn't have to work to justify everything, it's just part of living your life. What you want, and...that's part of what makes life worth living. Why would you discount or not do anything that feels right just because it's based on desire? That makes no sense to me."

Dean didn't say anything for a moment, dropping his gaze again slightly. "It always made sense to me," he said, quietly. "I never - I'm not always... When I was younger, when I really found out what I could do, well, you know how I feel about that. And I always felt like that. And gran always told me that I'd never be anything I didn't want to be and that I didn't need to worry about being anything I wouldn't let myself be and that she knew I'd never let myself be that. But I, kinda... It was like, fine, I have that choice, but who decides what's right and wrong? I mean, if I know where I don't want to be, how do I stop myself from going there? And then gran died and it was just me and so I ended up defining things, I guess. It made everything easier. More certain. So I could be the kind of person I wanted to be. Just - structure. And whenever I throw that out, or ignore it, everything seems to go to hell. Like - last time I was here. I was ignoring it then and I made mine and everyone around me's life a misery. Because I just did what I wanted."

"Yeah, but when you were doing that, you were in a really bad place." Lullaby said. "Which will automatically make everything worse regardless. You aren't anymore. And frankly, if you started the kind of shit up again that you told me about, you'd get pulled up on it really fast, if not by me--which you know I would--then by Oz, and Sophie, and...it's just different now. You were in a bad place mentally and emotionally, and you didn't have anyone you could relate to or who could relate to you in return. So...yeah, alright, you made some bad calls for a while, but I'm sure there was a purpose behind it somewhere. Probably something at least mildly self destructive if not outright. And you aren't there anymore. Haven't been for a long time, even. It's really hard for me to even imagine, honestly, because I know you now. And I know you well. You wouldn't get there again. You wouldn't let yourself, and no one around you would let you either." she continued, conviction in her tone. She kept her eyes on his, hoping he was really listening, though she thought he was. "Also? You're talking about your abilities there. That's different than decisions you make or things you want that aren't connected to it. You aren't your ability. It's just a part of you. So...the same rules don't necessarily apply. I mean...you can get that concept with me just fine. You know I'm a fade, you know I died...you've even been there for it. Been there when I've come back, but you don't think about me as a fade, you think about me as Thia. They're separate things, they don't work on the same levels. Not everything does." She paused for a moment. "You asked how you stop yourself from going where you know you don't want to be. You don't take the paths you know would lead you there. That's how. And even if you take some turns along the way there's always a way back. At least in some fashion. It isn't as if one day you're going to wake up and everything's going to be fucked just because you...say, wanted to take a night away from your family, and went for it. There's a whole sliding scale thing here that it's kinda sounding like you don't apply to yourself at all."

Dean listened to everything she had to say and when he replied, it was calmly, trying to address it all, because he did want her to understand where he was coming from and he didn't think she currently did. "First of all, I know I'm not my abilities. But - I also know me and you could say that it fitted. Look, I know that the first thing I did with what I could do was break one of Scott's toys because he was pissing me off. I just - yes, you know me. And yes you know that I wouldn't let myself go there. And the reason for that is that for years I've worked at not letting myself go there. That's what I've been trying to explain. I don't - I know what I can be like, so I don't let myself be that. So I set up rules, I put lines in place that I can't cross and I did it everywhere, because I don't know where I can trust myself. That was how it started, anyway. But now - now I..." He stopped and ran a hand through his hair. "I dunno - now it's like I've suddenly realised that I've put in place this rigid structure, things I can and can't do. All these bloody checks and balances and stuff and it's like it doesn't fit anymore and there's all these new things that I haven't accounted for and it's not just taking a night away, it's everything, but yeah, it goes down to the little stuff, but I still don't trust myself because every time I've ignored it in the past, things have fucked up and I can look back and see that if I'd just stuck to the plan, I would have avoided the problem - but sticking to the rules, not going near those lines, that wouldn't have been what I wanted, and I'd gone with what I wanted."

"That still doesn't necessarily mean if you started letting yourself do the things you wanted that everything would crash and burn every time. From what you're telling me--those things you did that things messed up? You knew they were wrong in the first place. You just didn't care at the time that they were. So--there's your balance. It's not that you have a faulty system on the ability to tell right from wrong. So there's no reason not to trust yourself. You're behaving as if you didn't know at the time, like you were oblivious and didn't know any better, and I really don't buy that. Just if you do get that strong urge to to something just cuz, and you know it isn't the right thing, then don't. If that's absent? Then there isn't any real reason you should deny yourself. I think that's the most important thing to keep in mind. Just that. You know. Just don't do the things you know aren't on the level. Everyone has those urges, Dean. You just happened to have been given the ability to go with a petty urge a lot easier than anyone else. Doesn't make you a bad person, or mean that you can't ever go with your desires, because I'm positive they aren't all like that. I'd wager that most of them aren't, and you're just seeing the negative stuff." she said, also sounding calm and reasonable. "I think you're right. I think you do kind of have this really strict way of viewing yourself in particular, and the rest of the world, and I think it does need to change. I think if you keep things up as you are currently, or have been, you're going to drive yourself crazy, and you're never going to let yourself have any fun in life. I mean..." she sighed, and tugged her fingers through her hair, absently checking her choker as she gave him a little lopsided smile. "Do you have any idea how hard it is sometimes to get you to let go?" she asked. "I try. And I can get you to smile, and laugh sometimes, but that's kinda something that takes effort too. I think you're way too busy sometimes checking yourself to really just...go with things. You have to be pulled into it."

"What about if I have a strong urge to do something and I don't know whether it's the right thing to do or not?" Dean asked. "Because it's not about the things I know - I'm not stupid. There's lots that's like 'right', 'wrong'," he said, gesturing from one side to the other, defining the different states. "That's simple. It's the stuff in the middle where I have trouble. But, I smile!" he protested, giving her a tiny, lopsided upturning.

"Dean, you're one of the most upstanding, steadfast people I have ever met in my entire life." Lullaby told him, giving him a little smile and just a touch of a look with it. "I would trust you with any decision. You should try trusting yourself. You sound like you're making this all very hard when it doesn't necessarily have to be. Like...we were talking about things being wrapped up in desire and everything, what you want, well, if it doesn't have any clear right or wrong attached to it, maybe there isn't a right or wrong answer for it. Or maybe you won't know til you try something and figure it out from there. But either way, I'm pretty sure no matter what it was it wouldn't be the end of the world, and if it wasn't something that worked out so well, it could probably get worked out somehow." she said with confidence. Then, she smiled at him more playfully. "And yeah, you smile, but I have to work to get them out of you." she told him. "You don't all that often, you know. I'm usually pretty damn proud of myself when I earn one." she told him, and she stuck her tongue out at him for a moment.

"You don't smile that much either, you know - not proper smiles, anyway," Dean pointed out, if they were going to be on that subject. He wished she'd smile more, he loved those smiles. She used to smile more and now he generally just missed them. "And anyway - if I'm upstanding and steadfast, that's because I have those rules in place that you're telling me aren't letting me have any fun. Maybe if I dumped them, then I'd stop being upstanding and steadfast - ever thought about that? Cause and effect and stuff like that. Or... whatever the right phrase there is..."

She laughed a little and shook her head. "I can't see it." she said. "And okay, even if those rules got you to where you are at the moment?" she asked, watching him. "Your judgements on the world around you and reactions are set up now. So even if you needed the guidelines before, I don't think if you relaxed some that you'd suddenly go flying off the grid. Wouldn't happen." she said, with that firm note of conviction in her tone again. "And I smile...do I really not properly smile?" Because that surprised her. She thought she did...maybe she didn't, and she just didn't know. Well...til now, anyhow. Then she frowned. "Don't answer that, I don't want to change the subject."

"Not like you used to - not like the sun coming out," he told her, before moving swiftly on back to the subject to cover that. "And maybe, I just... I've never not had those rules in place. The idea of just letting it all go... I wouldn't know what to do."

You think my proper smiles were like the sun coming out? went through her mind first, but she didn't say it. It was a near thing, she wanted to, but she stuck to her guns on the whole not changing the subject thing. She didn't want to, he was talking, and she was going to follow it out as long as he was willing to be talking. She didn't know how it connected in with other things--and maybe it didn't, but if there was even a remote connection, she wanted to be able to discuss it. Beyond that, she thought the subject matter was very important. "...who says you would have to let it all go?" she asked. "What I'm talking about is trusting yourself more, and giving yourself a little more credit." Which she'd been trying to get him to do for ages now. "That doesn't mean you have to completely drop everything. I'm...not even sure something like that is possible, in a practical sense. I think your rules, the things you have in place to keep yourself in check with your abilities are good ones, so keep those. But you should let yourself just...go with things sometimes. It'll be okay. And again, you know if you're doing something fucked up, I'd tell you. Hell, I know I project a lot of the times, I might not even have to tell you. Not everything has to be fully all or nothing. So...give yourself a compromise."

Dean pulled a slight face. "I'm not very good at doing things by halves - I've always been kind of an all or nothing guy," he admitted, as she talked about letting some of it go. Maybe that was the issue, he realised, when he was thinking that something had to give, he was considering it as a landslide. He always considered things as a landslide. She talked about a sliding scale - he regarded it as a slippery slope.

She quirked a half smile at that. "Yeah, I've noticed." she said. "But I think something's got to give here, and you really need to look into trying something different this time. Forget all or nothing, that works for a lot of things, but in this case it isn't going to. So, give yourself time to work it out, but ease up. Think of it as relaxing the leash a little, not necessarily entirely letting it go." She leaned forward to poke his knee. "It'll be okay, I promise." she added on the end.

"And you promise that you'll slap me down if I step out of line?" Dean checked, really wanting that. He might not trust himself, but he trusted her. He'd trust her to be his safety net, though he wondered if he was expecting too much of her. He wasn't her responsibility.

"Cross my heart." Lullaby promised, making the x over her chest as she said it. "And I'll even pinky swear and everything." she added with a grin, holding her hand out towards him, pinky hooked out for him. Her definition of 'slap' might be slightly different than the physical event, but she'd definitely have something to say if he did suddenly start taking a nosedive into weirdness, or badness. She didn't for a second think he would, but that wasn't the point. She could make the promise, probably never have to say anything, and hopefully it gave him the confidence he needed to try.

Dean leaned forward and, hooking her little finger with his, pulled her sharply towards him. "So, should I figure out something for us to do this afternoon?" he asked her.

She laughed when he pulled her closer, and she wound up half trying to catch herself so she didn't fall right into him by putting her hand down on his leg, just above the knee. "Yes, you should figure out something for us to do this afternoon." she told him, watching his eyes. She was having another one of those moments that confused her so much. Because she wanted to get closer, possibly push him back, tickle him, mess around...play fight. But that was probably not really allowed, right? Sure, she'd done it when she was in the cab with him and everything, but that was before he'd sort of downshifted on the closeness and all front. Though now that she was thinking about it she was remembering him tracing little circles on her skin, hand beneath her shirt... Okay stop now.

Dean was a little disappointed that she caught herself, but didn't that prove the point they were going for? He went with what he wanted - and she'd be there to make sure it didn't go too far. So, he didn't push it, letting her go and leaning back against the arm of the sofa, looking up at her. "I.... Should really call Andy," he said, betraying aloud his awareness that there'd been nothing with the guy since that first day when Andy'd been playing pissy bitch. Dean really wasn't sure how things would go, but it'd been a few days now, that was usually all it took for Andy to have found his next butterfly.

When Dean leaned back, she didn't move away. What she did wind up doing was she took his leg that was closest to the back of the couch, propped it up, and she hugged it loosely, propping her chin on his knee as she looked down at him. Why she did that, she didn't know, she just...did. "Yeah, I know you should. Maybe he's done with his pissyness?" she suggested hopefully. Or at the very least he's stopped pretending he's pissy. Ohhh hey that thought was a little bitter, wasn't it.

Dean hooked a hand up round the back of his head, propping himself up a little more as he let his free leg fall to the side, then curled it round so that his heel rested at the back of her, thinking again about how sometimes they just seemed to fit. It was nice, comfortable. "It never takes Andy long to get over anything - I'll give him a call, maybe we can get together, round his house or something."

"You sure you don't want to spend some time with the guy on your own?" she asked, not especially wanting to hang out at Dean's house without him there, but she could. She could hang out with his mom for a while or something. That she wanted to do anyways, truthfully. She was still nervous about it, but that didn't generally stop her from doing anything. She was absently scratching her short nails back and forth against the grain of the threads of his jeans, making faint ticking sounds as she did that she couldn't in any way hear.

"I'm not going to make you come if you don't want to," Dean told her, though he did want her there. Anyway, Andy would probably just try and grill him about his sex life if she wasn't - and given that he unfortunately didn't have one, it'd be a whole lot of not knowing how to answer which he'd rather avoid.

"That's not what I said." Lullaby said, stopping the little scratching thing she was doing. "I didn't say I didn't want to go. I just asked if you were sure you didn't want to see him on your own. If you'd rather I was there, or don't want to deal with him without me...then I'll be going with. Just thought I'd offer. I mean, even if he has decided to be over it and everything, he could get grouchy just by my being present. I mean...you're his best friend. I'm the girl who rejected him." she pointed out, making a little bit of a face at him.

Dean opened his mouth to reply, but closed it again as he found he had to remind himself that this was only pretend. He had been about to say that if Andy had a problem with Dean getting her and not him, then he'd just have to get over it, because yes, they were friends - and that's what you did. Except, this wasn't real, was it? And he wasn't risking a friendship for something better. But then again, he wanted this to be something more, and if it became that then Andy would just have to deal with it then and... And he was overthinking things again. "Whatever Andy would like, I would like you with me," he told her.

That made her smile. "Then I'll be with you." she told him. And she wanted to lean forward and drop a kiss on his forehead. And maybe continue on from there. Because as she was looking down at him, he was doing that effortlessly hot thing again. Where he was just lounging back, all nicely relaxed and everything, and...that looked good on him. And really, with where she was sitting, the position and all, it wouldn't be hard to shift things around to much more interesting--she should probably remove herself entirely from the couch at this point. "What were you going to say?" she asked, since she noticed that he had been about to say something there and stopped, and it was better to concentrate on than her own stupid urges.

Dean wondered if he should just tell her. He could phrase it as a joke, absent-minded, oops, guess what I thought. Didn't have to mean anything, or if it did, could it just plant some seeds that maybe weren't there before, of possibility. Or, it could be a safe way of testing the waters - if she backed right the hell off, then he'd know, wouldn't he. If he could phrase it in a way that didn't turn him into a babbling idiot. He kept his eyes on her as he shrugged. "Nothing much, just... That instinct thing. Had me kinda... Just, what I would have said if... We... Were really going out." Wow, almost a complete sentence. He was proud of himself for that.

Lullaby arched an eyebrow, and a little touch of an impish smile touching her lips, that she half hid by pressing it to the top of his knee for a moment. "That instinct thing?" she asked. "And what would you have said if we were really going out?" she asked. Since I'll never find out otherwise...indulge me here for a second, Dean. she thought. And again wondered if she shouldn't find an excuse to get off the couch now. Gain a little distance and all that...might be the best idea. And yet she didn't.

Okay, so - no immediately batting him down for even daring to think of it as a reality. Good, that had to be positive, right? Dean absently dampened his lips with a swipe of his tongue before speaking. "That, erm - if Andy has a problem with... Us. Because you... wanted me not him. Then, he needs to just get over it. Because that's what friends do." He found it easier to speak after he'd gotten over that first bit, but he didn't try and add in the rest - which was that it'd happened enough times the other way round. That Andy had ended up with a girl Dean liked, and Dean'd never held it against the guy.

And now she was thinking about kissing him again. Awesome. He either needed to not do little things like that, or, alternately, she should quit paying so much fucking attention to said little things. And she needed to not be thinking about crawling over him. That was high up on her list of things she wanted to do to him right then. ...shit there was a list of things she wanted to do specifically to him, that was probably a bad thing. She nodded to his words though, eyes on his and not wavering. "You skipped out explaining the instinct thing." she said.

Dean wasn't looking away, not for a moment. "I, er..." He'd thought she would have got that, but clearly not. Or she wouldn't have asked. "I mean, that's just..." He laughed a little, nervously. "Guess I'm getting a little too... Used to this. Thing. That's, just... I... Yeah." Nope, that made no sense. He didn't think. Please don't let her try to call it off, please don't let her try to call it off...

She kept watching his eyes. And she was a little surprised to hear that he was getting used to it. Because things had dialled back, as far as she could tell, so she was a little confused over it. Though his answer was a lot better than any she expected. "You're getting used to the idea of...us together? Or that we're in this...and ...you're reacting ...accordingly?" So now she was graduating into incomplete speech too. Awesome. But she couldn't actually phrase it like it went through her mind. That it almost sounded like he was used to the idea of them being together, and was reacting as if they were. How he would if they really were. Which...she really wouldn't mind that at all. Though...she just really wanted them to drop the pretense that it was all pretend, and everything. She just happened to be fully aware of the fact that that wasn't ever going to be the case. Dean didn't feel that way about her...right?

Was she giving him an out? She almost always gave him an out when she thought that he was talking about something that made him uncomfortable, or just when she thought he needed one. So - was this an out. A 'choose option B and we'll be fine'? Maybe this was an out to stop him making a fool out of himself. Anyway, it wasn't exactly either option now, was it? Because he'd been at option A in his head for a long time. And option B was the out. So... At least she wasn't trying to say they should stop, if he was thinking like that! "I... Hear that overthinking things is a bad thing to do," he said, not choosing either option. "That is, I... Just..." Have no idea what to add here, Dean thought as he internally flailed.

"Just what?" she asked, voice possibly a touch softer than it had been a moment before, and she was thinking she should look away now. And not do what she wanted to, which was a whole host of things. Some of which were very clear, non verbal things, that couldn't be misinterpreted in any way, and others were just as trouble inducing but probably less humiliating. Like she wanted to ask if that's what he'd do if they really were together. Or if that would make a difference, if he'd do more, or less, or...what. She was reminded of their conversation before, where they talked about jealousy versus possessiveness. Would he be of her? If they were together, would that play into how he reacted to things?

He could make an excuse here, he could go call Andy, or something or anything and he could not continue down this road, that would be the less risky strategy, but - she wasn't backing away here. In fact, she was doing anything but backing away. And that little softening of her voice - nobody with Dean's hearing could miss that. And she was looking at him and he was looking at her and he could feel his heart thundering in his chest and that made him want to flip the pendant over onto his wrist to feel if her heart was racing the same way, except that he had his arm tucked behind his head and it was trapped and he still didn't know what to do, or say, or how far to take this. "Just... instinct. You don't really think about it, do you?" he said, his voice level matching hers enough that he wondered if she'd actually completely heard that or not.

Having the issues she'd had with hearing her whole life, her eyes immediately ticked down to his lips when his voice dropped to quiet enough that she might not get all of the articulation. She heard tone, but not the rest of it as clearly as she would have liked. Which didn't mean she missed what he said--it just meant she had to break eye contact to do it. Her eyes were immediately back up on his when he was finished, and she shook her head the faintest bit. "No. You don't." she agreed, voice still with that bit of a soft tone. She wanted to ask him to put it all together for her there without the breaks in it, without the pauses, spell it out for her but figured that was a bit weird, and a bit much to ask. That and she was inclined to like what she'd heard, and she didn't know if putting it all together for her at once would make it sound different. Destroy the little illusion it created. It probably would. It probably wasn't what he was saying or getting at, and anyways it was all hypothetical anyways, wasn't it? Something like that. Though, in that moment when she was looking down into his eyes--it sure didn't feel hypothetical. Or pretend. It is, though. God, get it through your head. Pretend. He's just...getting used to the idea of the pretending. Or something. Just shut up, and don't do anything stupid.

"Is it... Bad, that, I mean, that is, I... Never mind," Dean said, shaking his head and sitting up a little. He dropped his eyes from hers. "I should phone Andy," he said, all whilst his brain was very firmly going, No! No, you shouldn't phone Andy - you should stay right here and ask her whether her instincts are telling her the same thing. Or whether she minds, or maybe just skip the whole thing and just kiss the girl who's looking at you like that! No moving away right now!

She didn't really want him to get up. She didn't want him to move. Or, she supposed, closer wasn't necessarily bad. But her brain wasn't necessarily in gear. Or not the right one anyways. There was definitely a gear it was stuck in, it just happened to be fantastically inappropriate. She shook her head though. "No." she answered. Even if he said nevermind. And she realized that her statement was probably sounding like it was to the bit about him calling Andy... "I mean...no, I don't think...it's not...I mean, bad." she said, stumbling over her words there. Sitting back should happen now. Ready set now. Apparently her reverse gear was stuck too.

He looked back round as she spoke, in fact taking her first statement as being stopping him calling Andy and for that moment, until she qualified it, he'd been about to actually go with that. Then he realised that she wasn't actually stopping him. Of course she wasn't, but - he'd hoped there for a moment and her explanation was still not bad. "You're starting to sound like me now," he observed.

She blushed, cheeks flushing in red immediately, and she didn't quite know what to say to that. Crap. "You don't have a monopoly on unfinished thoughts?" she suggested, finally sitting up, since he was going to move here, to go call Andy, and then there'd be group activities and everything. And she could take that time to sit back, kind of just watch him (in a non creepy stalker way, really!) and give herself a good talking to. Then maybe she'd be better again. She'd stop with the confused feelings, get herself back on track. It was a plan.

"I don't have unfinished thoughts - I, I just sometimes have trouble saying them," Dean admitted to her. They always sounded alright in his head. Like the thought that a blush was really attractive on her. That sounded fine in his head, but if he tried to get it out, well - he knew he'd be stumbling over his words

What was hard about saying that? she wanted to ask, but didn't. Because she had trouble. Though...she was willing to bet they weren't for the same reasons. His she couldn't quite fathom, at least not right this second, but she was sure there was something. "Okay, then you don't have the monopoly on difficulty expressing oneself." she said, sticking her tongue out at him as she reached out to poke his chest.

Dean gave her a little smile as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He hit Andy's number and looked over at her as he listened to it ring. "Yes Thia - whatever you say," he told her, avoiding the chest poke before standing as Andy answered the phone and heading off across the room to talk to his friend.

*****

The arrangement had been made for Dean and Thia to go round to Andy's. Actually, Dean had been relieved, because his best friend had seemed much more himself when they'd talked earlier, all smiles and no cares, inviting them round, saying that he'd get a couple of other people over, they'd get pizza and he'd pick up some films on the way home, nothing too drastic. He'd even suggested keeping it small so that Thia didn't have trouble keeping up. It seemed to Dean that he'd been right - Andy had found a new butterfly.

And so they'd headed over, in the evening, in the end. Andy'd been as good as his word and there was a stack of horror movies - because he knew Thia liked them - and a couple of pizzas there when they arrived. Andy's house was bigger than Dean's and they were all set up in the large and comfortable living room, which, Dean realised, was much more like the den at Sophie and Oz's place - set out for comfort and relaxation rather than appearance. He'd spent so much time here in the past, it had just never occurred to him before. He'd near enough grown up in this room.

'A few other people' turned out to be Stu and Jen, so Andy had been as good as his word in keeping things to a minimum. They'd settled down quickly enough to watch the first film, which was just coming to an end as Andy stood and asked people if they wanted drinks.

Lullaby looked up with a smile. "Yes please!" she said. "Want any help?" Because that was kinda just what she did. And, with the way things had gone today, she was starting to think she'd misjudged Andy. He'd been perfectly nice, and she hadn't seen the huge discrepancies she had like before between what he was presenting and his actual mood, so she was calling it good. She'd been tense for a bit at first, but he'd managed to behave in such a fashion that she'd relaxed fairly early on, and definitely was now. Maybe he'd just had a bout of stupidity, and it was done now, and Dean's plan about Andy backing off because they were together had actually worked. Things seemed a lot cooler now than before, so...she was pleased.

"Sure - you can help carry, if you want," Andy told her, giving her a warm smile as though there'd never been any problems at all, before he headed off to the kitchen, which was the room next door.

Lullaby got up, mussing Dean's hair as she did so, before she went to follow Andy into the kitchen. she just felt better with the way today was going, and she was eager to make things better still. it could be okay, right? She'd been paranoid, he'd been pissy...and they could meet in the middle and it would be fine. That was her running theory anyways, and this was part of it. "So, what did you think." she asked as they got there.

"What did I think?" Andy asked as he got a bottle of coke out of the fridge and set it on the counter before going for glasses. He passed four out to Thia with the bottle, before grabbing another and just filling it with cold water.

"Yeah, about the movie." Lullaby said, being sure to pay attention to Andy so she didn't miss anything he said. She took the bottle and started filling the glasses up. "Unless you've seen it before, and it was a repeat for you. Though I imagine if it was you must have liked it somewhat to sit through it again." she added.

"Nah - not seen it before. Actually I've not seen any of the ones I got before. And it was good - I enjoyed it," he told her, easily, selling up his opinion of the film a little more than was strictly honest, but not being too committal one way or the other until she'd given her opinion. He didn't want to over-sell things, after all.

"I liked the first one better." Lullaby said thoughtfully. "I kinda have trouble getting over the whole dad showing up all over when really that shouldn't have happened, and I'm a bit pissed that they killed off the sniper when they didnt' have to. He was awesome. However, his death is made up for by the whole helicopter-use as a weapon. That was just beautiful." she said as she paused and waited for the fizz to die down again before she topped off the glasses. "I like Robert Carlyle though. He's awesome, did you see Ravenous?" she asked.

"Ravenous, no - what's that one?" Andy asked, leaning back against the worktop and giving her his full attention. It was better than admitting that he'd never seen the first film that she was referring to. He'd got this one because it was just out, so a good bet - or that was his theory, anyhow.

She laughed a little bit and looked over. "Oh y'know, your standard fort in the middle of nowhere cannibalism scenario." she said. "Has to do with the legend of the Wendigo, and how eating the flesh of humans gains one immortality." she explained. "It was interesting. And had wildly inappropriate music during a lot of it, which is always amusing." she told him. "I liked it, though. It was good...y'know, in that massively messed up sort of way."

"Wildly inappropriate music? Please, tell me they were playing Britney Spears or some shit whilst someone was chewing on a leg bone," Andy laughed, trying to picture that one.

She laughed. "No. Just like...a weird score track. Though weirdly? The trailer had appropriate music. They had a chase that was set to White Zombie music. That was cool. In the film though it was kind of just really upbeat crazy happy stuff. Now, mind you, maybe it was more appropriate if you can hear all the notes involved, but somehow I don't think what I missed of the song made it any less weird."

Andy considered that, thoughtfully. "What's it like?" he asked, getting the conversation off of horror movies before he betrayed how little he did actually know about them. "Listening to music when you can't actually hear it all? Do you get some part more than others?"

"Lower registers. Like...bass. I hear bass all the time. That's got a sort of harder punch to it? Higher frequencies I don't get. So say, if someone's hitting a high C, I'm not going to hear it so well. So, when music starts getting into those upper ranges, I can't hear it well, and some frequencies I can't hear at all, period, even if it was right in my ear." she explained. "But honestly I couldn't tell you what it's like beyond the technicals of it. It's what things have always sounded like for me. So what I hear is normal for me, I just happen to be aware that I'm missing bits."

"So, you're okay in clubs then?" Andy suggested to her, getting a tray for the drinks from a cupboard. "Like, with heavy bass - that's basically all anyone can really get anyway, some of them." Which, again, not strictly true, but it was a comment aimed to make her feel more included, if she needed that. If not, it was aimed just to be friendly.

"I wouldn't know, actually, we don't have clubs at home." Lullaby said, making a little bit of a face. "But in theory? Yes. I'd be able to feel the bass too, since I'm assuming it's all very loud. I'd have to see, though." She didn't mention that the idea of being at a club was both something that was exciting for her, and daunting, because she would be lost. She would have a terrible time trying to follow everyone's conversations. The masquerade was alright, because generally she was just there with Dean, and he knew how to talk to her. But even for little bits when they were talking to other people, she'd felt a little trouble keeping up. That wasn't going to stop her, though, and that was her issue, not anyone else's.

"Well then - we'll have to get you to a club while you're here," Andy told her with a grin. "We have loads, so I'm sure we can find one to fit, depending on what kind of music you like. We'll have to plan something," he added, leading the way back into the living room and to the others.

She took glasses as well to follow. "Anything kind of heavier. I hear it better." Lullaby told him as they made it back to the living room. She'd kind of often gotten looks when she was younger for listening to such heavy music, but light girly stuff she couldn't hear very well. A lot of it was higher range, including the vocals, so it didn't do her much good to listen to it when she only got about a quarter of the song. Hell, some music was so high that it didn't even make sense anymore by the time you only added in the lower frequencies.

Andy nodded to this as he passed out the drinks he had, giving the glass of water to Dean without making a point of doing so. He knew his best friend's drinks preferences and knew the guy only even drank water, and that he'd only sip at that. Sitting down, he took in the rest of the room. "So, we need to take Thia clubbing while she's here - who's up for that?" he asked, looking around.

Jen perked up at that and smiled. "Oh that's a great idea, I'd definitely be up for that." she decided, looking like she was already trying to think of where they would go. And possibly who to bring.

Lullaby sat back down next to Dean, partially leaning in against his arm as she did so. "Apparently there's clubbing to be had." she told him, giving him a cute little smile.

Dean slipped his arm around her, pulling her back against him a little more. He'd been careful about the whole pda thing when they'd first got here, just for Andy's sake, but he'd been right, the guy'd settled down and so slowly Dean'd been becoming more touchy throughout the evening, going very much with how he would have behaved if this wasn't all a pretence. And that meant having her close, though there was the rational part of him that also knew that if he were behind her with her facing everyone else and she was close into him, then he could talk into her ear and she'd be able to hear him whilst keeping an eye on everyone else in the room - it made communication easier. "Yeah?" he asked, settling her back in his chosen position with her leaning her back against his chest, moving her, as always, without a by your leave, or batting an eyelid at doing so. "You wanna?" he asked her, not giving an opinion. He wasn't a huge fan of clubbing - it was noisy and he found communication difficult, plus there was the chance of a migraine for him. But, then again, he'd gone in the past and he wasn't going to not go now if that's what was happening. He just didn't particularly miss it.

Stu laughed a little at that. "Aww, come on, mate - she's got to. Can't come to Manchester and not go clubbing, now, can she," he joked. "It'd be a crying shame - I'm definitely in and I say we don't wait til the weekend. They're all shit and expensive at the weekend anyway. Dance crap - I heard what you were saying as you came in. You want heavier stuff - which, you're only gonna get during the week."

Lullaby as usual didn't mind being moved around by Dean and she settled easily back against him. She'd noticed as the day had gone on that he'd sort of started going back to how he'd been behaving when they'd first arrived. Which added to her confusion, but when she wasn't concentrating on the confusing bits, she just let herself enjoy it. Like nowish. Tilting her head back to look up at him, she watched his eyes for a moment, knowing that that situation was not a favorite for either of them. They'd discussed it. A club wouldn't be any better than being at a party. But...she was in England visiting and she would in fact, like to go, just to go. So, she smiled at him. "Yeah. I'd like to." she told him. "You good with it?" she asked. And then she ticked her gaze back towards Stu. "And yeah, heavier stuff...not really a dance crap kinda girl. Give me hard stuff." she told him, before she glanced back to Dean again for his answer.

"Yeah, I'm good with it," Dean confirmed, figuring that if they were going in the week they wouldn't be hideously late back anyhow, since everyone else would have school the next day. He looked at the others. "We can figure something out - Thia and I are gonna be kinda here and there anyhow - I promised to show her around while we were here, but I'm sure we can fit a night out in there," he told them.

"Yeah, yeah, lots to see and do whilst we're at school - how'd you get the time off anyhow? Fucking jammy git that you are," Andy joked, looking at Dean, enquiringly.

"Ahh, they're not as harsh on attendance over there as they are over here, so, y'know, my cousin managed to wangle me a few weeks off - cheaper to travel now than in the holidays," Dean lied through his teeth. How were they to know the difference anyhow?

Lullaby laughed. "Okay! I don't know the meaning of the word 'jammy'!" she said. "So...someone define for me, please." she asked, looking around at everyone, including Dean, as she looked back at him. Absently, she messed around with the cord on his wrist, drawing her fingertips back and forth along the ridges of it, where it overlapped here and there.

Jen laughed as well. "Does there need to be a lot of word definition going on between the two of you?" she asked, sounding amused.

"I bet there is," Stu agreed. "Okay, 'jammy' basically means 'lucky' - simple really," he told her, answering before Dean did, therefore she got a simpler answer, since Dean had a tendency to tell her what he knew about where the word came from as well, if he knew.

And there was a reason why he went into word origin...she wanted to know. "...how does one get from 'lucky' to 'jammy'?" she asked, laughing at that. She liked the little vocabulary lessons she got. They were entertaining for her, and she liked finding the weird word associations back and forth. Both with things in the states that were commonly used, and the things Dean came out with now and then.

"Probably because whenever the word came into use you were lucky to get jam, or something. You know, that extra bit with your tea, something like that anyway," Dean suggested, though he didn't know. Made sense to him though.

Andy laughed a little. "There we go - Dean always knows. Or makes it up, right? But you're always a good one for a definition," he teased, lightly.

"Well, he's very good at sounding like he knows what he's talking about if he's making it up." Lullaby said, sliding her hand back to poke Dean in the stomach while she could. "But yes! I dunno, I think it's interesting. Language...all that stuff. I'm easily amused, what can I say." she half apologized for herself, but not fully.

Dean kept quiet for the moment, letting Thia lead the conversation for them, though he felt a little sting at Andy's comment, though he knew the guy had only meant it as a joke, so he was trying to take it that way, not make a big thing out of it. He never did, after all. Instead, he just hugged her slightly more firmly against him and listened to the conversation going on around him.

"Oh, I think it's fascinating - I mean, the same language and everything, but it's so different at times and to have to ask what words mean in your own language," Jen agreed, enthusiastically. "Which, really, Dean - you have to take her to Liverpool, or Newcastle or something! Thia, seriously - you'd not be able to tell one word in ten. Between the accent, but the slang and it's totally different - it'd be so funny," she grinned. "I have an aunt from Newcastle and, honestly, I have no idea what she's talking about half the time!"

Lullaby clasped her hand over Dean's around her, and gave it a squeeze in response to his giving her one. "I think it is. And I'd love to experience that, it'd be great." she said genuinely to Jen's suggestion. Then she paused. "What was the one word?" she asked Dean, tilting her head back again, resting it against his collarbone to look up at him a touch. "The one that you guys don't have here at all but is incredibly weird for me to think that you just don't have it? It's making me think of bathroom fixtures..." she said, trying to remember what it had been.

"Faucet," Dean told her, looking down at her, very aware as he did so of how close she was as he ran his eyes over her face. He really was very comfortable at the moment. The film had been nice, though the actual film itself had got very little of his attention, since she was all cuddled up against him. He wasn't sure how many films they'd watched together, but he knew that he didn't have the first fucking clue what half of them were about, not when she curled up with him. And even less so now that he had the permission to actually be properly snuggly back. He looked up at the others. "Yeah, I had not the first clue what that one was - which is tap," he explained, since they were looking blank about the word.

Lullaby grinned at him as he latched onto the word and looked up at him for a long moment before turning her attention on everyone else when he did. That actually made her laugh, because they did all look totally puzzled. "See? That's just so amazingly weird to me! It's an everyday thing! Like...chairs and spoons, and...how did the word faucet not at all appear in your guys' vocabulary?" she asked, finding it terribly amusing.

"Well, how did you end up using something so incredibly weird as 'faucet', when you could have something as simple as 'tap'?" Jen asked her, looking confused. "I mean, that seems bizarre to me. I thought that American words were generally more, well, sensible - descriptive. Like sidewalk instead of pavement and stuff, but faucet sounds like it should be our word, because it's all French and stuff, whereas you should have the simpler version. Or something - I have no idea," she laughed, taking a sip of her coke.

"Well, we have tap too, but yeah, I have no idea. That's just in there in common language and all." Lullaby said. "I just stop mid-conversation and make Dean define things when he says things I don't understand, and he does the same thing. Like I said, I'm easily amused, apparently. Not hard to keep entertained at all. Y'know, zombie movies...explanations of random slang...though I'm still waiting to go look for sheep." she added, looking back at Dean. She'd almost said 'dead sheep' but at the last second opted not to, just because that was likely massively weird.

"You want to go looking for sheep?" Stu asked, sounding confused. "Do you not have sheep or something? Because, there's a field of them about a half hour's walk that way," he told her, indicating a vague direction. "They're all over the bloody place. Can't move for the stupid things," he said with a wide grin.

"Wasn't it dead sheep?" Andy asked, correcting that, sure that they'd talked about it in the past. he turned to Stu and Jen. "She doesn't have sheep just wandering about on roads and stuff like we do," he explained, looking towards Thia as if to check he was right in that.

Lullaby blushed, cheeks flushing red when Andy said that. She'd been attempting to go for normal. Right. "No, we don't have sheep wandering around. At least, not in Michigan. I'm sure there are in like...Montana, or Wyoming or something, but not up by us. No, with us you get deer. And like...everything else. Bunnies and squirrels and raccoons and...just everything." she said. "And I was told there were dead sheep just hanging out all over the place too. I wanted proof for this strange phenomena." she said, shifting a little farther back against Dean unconsciously.

Dean was fine with further back and, in fact, just lifted her up and into his lap, settling her properly back against his chest. "There's bears and wolves and things like that over there, so letting prey wander free is generally considered to be a bad idea, Dean explained to them. "And we were talking about what was most dangerous for sheep around here and I explained that up in the Pennines, where they get out onto the roads and everything, it was a toss up between getting run over by a car, or falling down a cliff," he explained to them.

She didn't mind being moved to his lap. That was good for her. She took a drink of her soda, then set the glass down next to his water, settling back against him comfortably. Yes, it was generally her favorite place to sit. "I'm pretty sure if anything randomly died like the sheep here and stuff, it'd just get eaten up pretty fast by the predators around. Well that and the big ass crows. There are tons of those. Huge, plentiful murders of crows."

"Do you really have bears and wolves?" Jen asked, a little wide-eyed at that - though, possibly, that was also to do with the fact that she'd just watched Dean of all people casually lift a girl into his lap like it was something he did every day. Tonight was being a real eye-opener in that regard. She hadn't been going out with Stu when Dean had left, so she didn't get to hang out with the guys the way she tended to now and, yeah - this was... Completely and totally different.

"Yeah." Lullaby said. "Coyotes too, and foxes, and...we're like a really big disney movie. All those furry forest creatures we've got around somewhere. Only they're less inclined to sing with people and snuggle than disney would have you believe." Unless they were Oz. But he didn't count. "But yeah...that's what we've got. More woods than you would know what to do with, and it's full of animals. We've had bears and moose wander around town before. Deer all the time." she added. "There's the albino deer too. Which is just this pure white deer that hangs out. Really pretty." How had they gotten on the subject of the wildlife in Marquette?

"Disney has a lot to answer for," Stu agreed, seriously, though obviously joking. "No dancing forest creatures, no genies in lamps and damn them for making us believe in fairies," he said, thumping his fist down on the arm of the chair he was sat in.

Dean just smiled a little and said nothing, happy just staying back and listening to the conversation, his concentration mostly directed toward the girl in his lap and the fact she was nicely warm against him, and that there was still that really kissable patch just there on the back of her neck that he'd always liked.

She laughed. "Yes. Disney does have a lot to answer for. Stupid disney. I'm not really a fan." she said. Even if she'd been Snow White for Dean for the masquerade. It was an older story than that! That was her justification and she was sticking to it. "How'd we get here?" she asked after a moment, quirking a confused little face.

Jen laughed. "I believe we got here from sheep." she said. "And you wanting to look for some. Plus dead ones." she added, tracing back through the conversation. "Which initially was brought up because we want to take you clubbing, which I think is a fabulous idea, and we should plan to tomorrow or the next day?" she suggested, looking around at everyone else for approval of it.

"Next day," Andy said, authoritatively. "We can take her to the Ritz - they have a great night on on Wednesdays." Plus it was big enough to be able to find a half-quiet corner if they needed it, which was a bonus. He looked at Dean, noticing that the guy really wasn't following the conversation very closely. "Hey, earth to Conway - you can make Wednesday night, right?" he checked, though it was phrased more of an assumption as his friend looked up.

"What - oh, right, yeah, Wednesday - Ritz, right?" Dean agreed, since the one flowed from the other and whilst he hadn't really been listening per se, there wasn't any noise distraction and they were speaking one at a time, so he'd heard.

Lullaby glanced back at him, having to smile at him for the sort of catch up with the rest of them. She wondered what had been on his mind, or if she was in his way and he had been having trouble following the conversation. Though...he shouldn't have. They hadn't put a new movie in or anything yet so there wasn't a lot of outside distraction noise. "In theory we can go--but I leave all this planning to you. You are the master of my destiny. Choose wisely." she told him gravely, giving him an impish little grin.

Dean gave her a little smile, then thought about what she'd said earlier and gave her a slightly bigger smile, though not too much because he didn't want to fake it, or be grinning like an idiot for no reason. "Wednesday's good," he told her, and everyone else as well.

She liked seeing that, and she rested her head back against his collarbone again for a moment, resisting the urge to nuzzle just under his jaw. Then, since she had the urge there, she didn't tempt fate, and she sat normally again. "Now turn to page fifty four to continue to choose your own adventure." she said, unable to resist the little joke. She was a geek, she was okay with this. Of course, they might not have had those books here, now that she thought about it.

Dean wrinkled his nose at her a little, getting the reference, though, as he looked up, he realised that everyone else in the room was looking at them a little blankly. "Nevermind - it's probably a long story," he decided. He'd tried to warn Thia that they really weren't geeks, afterall.

Looking at everyone else, Lullaby blushed a bit again. "I'm...let's just call me a huge geek and be done with it. Now that we've all accepted this fact, we can move on! Like...what time on Wednesday? And what kind of a place is it?" she asked. Since she wasn't sure what to wear or the like. If she'd have to dress up--which she probably would at least a little, just because.

Jen chuckled and smiled. "You'll have to let me in on the explanation sometime, but, okay - moving on. Probably around eightish and, if your boyfriend can bear to let you go for a while-" She eyed their position again. They really were very snuggly - no other word for it. Again, just bizarre. Sweet, but, very surprising. "-then you could come round mine to get ready. All the girls generally do, it'll be a laugh."

Lullaby tensed up. She couldn't help it, just the suggestion made her completely twitch. She'd love to--really she would, but the problem would be avoiding mirrors. And girls getting ready generally had a lot to do with checking things in mirrors, and...she couldn't do anything about her reflection. And trying to explain to a bunch of completely normal girls why it was she looked like a corpse in the mirror....bad. "Um...we'll see!" she said, realizing she needed to answer here, and couldn't just let things ride. "I might have to be spending some time with Dean's mom and everything, but I'd really love to. Text me when people are getting ready?" she suggested, hoping that her little internal flail hadn't been that noticeable.

It wasn't outwardly noticeable, but Dean felt it when she tensed up against him and he hugged her a little tighter for a moment. "...And I'll see if I can let her go," he added, onto the end of Thia's sentence, since Jen had technically been joking about him not doing that anyway. He leaned his head forward a little to rest his chin on her shoulder and looked at the rest of them. "Anyway, last time I left her alone with your guys, you ended up talking about me, so... Maybe that's a bad idea," he added.

She was really, intensely grateful for him in those moments, and she hugged her arms around his a little bit, and tried to snuggle back against him more. Even if really, that wasn't a physical possibility. She tilted her head a little to the side to rest against his though for a few moments. "You'll see?" she asked, smiling a bit just for him. "And of course we wound up talking about you. You're interesting to talk about. I'm well versed in the topic of you and everything. Besides, all the cool kids are doing it."

He pushed his head gently into hers a little more, and almost-nuzzle. "No, I'm really not, see - though, I can't argue with the fact you're well versed. But I'm sure there are much more interesting things out there to talk about. Liiiiiike, paint drying," he joked.

Andy laughed at that, shaking his head. "Just resign yourself to the fact, Dean mate - you're like the latest sideshow attraction, all different and something might have changed and you know - they have to know everything. Right, Jen?" he said, looking over for her support in this.

Jen looked back over at Andy and smiled. "Of course we have to know everything." she said. "It's a topic we don't already know everything about and we already know everything about all of you." she told Andy sweetly, then looked back at the couple. "We just want to hear all about everything." she said. "It's just all interesting!" she explained. "And I'll definitely text you." she told Thia. "Hopefully you can come." Then she smiled at Dean. "Promise we'll give her back."

"It's what you do with her what you've got her I'm worried about - I know I'll get her back," Dean replied, though he wasn't pushing one way or another. Normally, he wouldn't have a problem with it, but Thia was obviously concerned about something, so that was enough for him to step up and play possessive. As for Andy's comment, he ignored it - he figured that was was a little like a freakshow exhibit right now. He'd felt like one that first day, after all, with everyone's attention him, all asking questions. He wasn't used to being the centre of attention and Andy knew as well as anyone that he didn't enjoy it, that was all.

Lullaby internally twitched a touch at Andy's comment. Because she definitely caught the undercurrent there, likening Dean to a freakshow. Which she didn't appreciate. But...maybe that was just Andy, and he didn't mean anything by it. So, she told herself she was being a little overprotective, which she knew she could be. Therefore...she ignored it, even if she also kind of wanted to make him feel better over it. This probably totally imagined slight. In the end she turned her face in towards his a touch and did a little of what he had a few moments before. Not quite a nuzzle? But almost. "Yeah, you'll get me back." she told him, mostly because she recognized that she probably needed to say something.

Jen eyed them both for a second. "Okay, you two? You want us to give you guys some privacy here, because..." She trailed off, highly, incredibly amused by the little scene before her and the two who really did seem to be entirely joined at the hip. How typical that the guy who'd been completely oblivious to all of them would fall hard when someone finally got his attention.

Dean pulled back, colouring a little as he realised that for all he'd been talking to Jen a moment ago, his mind hadn't really been there at all, especially not when he and Thia had started exchanging little touches that way. "Right, er - sorry," he mumbled.

Lullaby's attention snapped back to Jen as well, and oh hey, there was that dark, dark blush again. "Sorry..." she said, clearing her throat a little. "Right. Yeah. Um. We're good. Really." she said, suddenly finding her charm bracelet fascinating. Because crap. She had been distracted there, and she wasn't even meant to be! But he was distracting, and whatever, maybe they'd get forgiven because technically, they weren't supposed to have been together very long...right? That was normal and stuff...or something... erm. Right. Moving on!

Stu was looking way too amused as well, sharing his girlfriend's mirth at the situation and he just grinned at the both of them. "Yeah, you look it." he said. "So Wednesday night...heading out...possibly borrowing of people for a while--sounds good."

"Yeah, yeah - sounds good," Dean agreed, feeling really self-conscious now, especially with Stu and Jen grinning at him like that. He looked at Andy, who just gave him a knowing look and stood.

"Right," Andy said. "This is all great, but anyone up for the next film then? I have.... More zombies, general blood and gore, or ghosts," he said, looking at the back of the other DVDs he'd picked up.

Lullaby willed her cheeks to return to their normal color, and busied herself with grabbing a drink of her soda and sneaking a cute little sheepish look back at Dean for a moment before looking back at Andy. "General blood and gore!" she voted. She'd say ghosts, but they knew Maddie, who wasn't anymore and such, but still. It was slightly weird. Like watching werewolf movies was weird knowing Oz. But zombies...the closest thing they knew to one was her, and they had firmly decided against the idea that she was one, and general blood and gore could be anything.

"General blood and gore it is," Andy said, slipping the disk in and setting it running before moving to turn the lights down again, having declared earlier on that you couldn't watch horror movies in a brightly lit room. He sat back down again in his seat, which he'd chosen purposefully so that he was in a position where he looked like he didn't have a care in the world about seeing Dean and Thia together - neither facing then, nor avoiding them, and then he settled down to watch the film.

Dean felt a lot better once eyes were off them and was grateful to Andy for deflecting that all. Yeah, his friend seemed definitely over it now, the worst was past, which was great, really great. He shifted slightly under Thia, repositioning both of them for the film, though, again, his concentration was definitely more on her as his eyes dropped to her form, ostensibly checking to make sure she was all there in the dim light, but somewhat distracted by the way her growing hair curled at the nape of her neck.

She shifted a little too, getting comfortable, and she absently started to play around with his hand like she did sometimes, sort of toying with his fingers here and there, sliding her ring off of her finger to try it on his fingers one by one even if it didn't fit any of them, and she knew this by having done it before. But it was just something she liked to do, and she was relaxed a lot more today than she had been. Possibly it was the slide back into affection that Dean had done. It was easy to fall into. It was easy to keep up with, even. It all felt so natural. It was easier to go with it than fight against it, really.

The opening credits started up, some heavy bass music that Dean figured was probably meant to portend doom or something, but his attention was still mostly on her, skipping out as Andy made some kind of jokey comment about something that was happening on the screen. Dean tilted his head to one side a little, glancing up just as some kid was being chased through the darkness and he dropped his eyes again to the back of her neck. He hesitated for a moment, then leaned forward a little more until he could feel his breath tickling the hair against the back of her neck.

She smiled and laughed a touch at Andy's comment, but her focus wasn't on the movie. Not when there was that slight little change from Dean behind her. And his breath along the back of her neck there, and it sent a shiver up her spine. Not a bad one in any way, and she felt butterflies in her stomach. Then told herself that she really was being lame. He probably had just moved or...something, and that was totally a side effect of him shifting so he could see the screen better. Yep. That was it. Or that was her story and she was sticking to it, because that was nice. And she was watching a movie. ...had she missed the plot already?

Dean maintained his position, so damn close to her, wondering what the hell he thought he was doing. Yes, they were in public, yes he had the green light of that and everything, yes he was even kind of aware that Jen was watching them occasionally in the semi-darkness, but he knew none of that was the reason. He knew that it was because he really, really wanted to brush his lips over the back of her neck, over that little area on the right hand side, just above the nape, just below her hairline. He'd had a real thing about kissing her there for a while now and, well, it wasn't a real-real kiss, was it? And, she'd said that he needed to go with what he wanted more. And he wanted this. And she'd been looking at him - today, before... There was at least a good chance and okay he'd said that he wasn't going to make a move, because he needed her, but he had the safety net here, didn't he - of public, of if she didn't like it he could just apologise and... And, god he wanted to do that so much. He moistened his lips a little, waiting, his heart thundering until he realised he was going to do this and leaned forward, just a little, brushing his lips over that place, just as the first person got brutally slaughtered on screen.

There were things going on on screen. Really, there was. Brutal death, and blood, and gore, and silly, silly amounts of splatter on walls. And yet she couldn't for the life of her pay the slightest bit of attention to it. She'd been focused in on Dean since she'd felt his breath there. And it felt like her heart stopped when she felt a kiss there. God. That was a kiss. That was a kiss. Those butterflies that had kicked up were really at it now, and she shifted, head tilting just a little, like if maybe he wanted to do that again, he just...could. God could he ever, because that had felt so very nice. So, she decided right then and there that he either needed to never do that again, because it made little goosebumps rise up on her flesh and she wanted to shiver again, or alternately, do it all the goddamn time, and really, if he just wanted to keep going with that? He could. She'd be all kinds of fine with that. She was so wrapped up in the moment that she didn't realize she shifted slightly more back against him, that she'd kind of stopped breathing, and she wasn't even thinking about the implications of anything, about how this might all be pretend and everything. It didn't even cross her mind in those moments.

Dean decided that the little press back there was all sorts of nice as he nuzzled the end of his nose against her skin a little, along the column of her neck and up just into her hair, the film completely forgotten about now. He couldn't have told anyone what the hell was going on on screen, though he was aware of the soundtrack, and the fact that Andy was still giving commentary, accompanied by the odd little wincing noise from Jen.

Her heart was probably going to pound right out of her chest. That was something she was very, very aware of right then. That her heart was pounding, threadding along at a really good clip. Could he feel that? Where the hell was the heart monitor? Hell could he feel it through her back? Was that possible, even? It was kind of waaaay belatedly that she realized she'd half shut her eyes. They'd just kind of slid to half shut, which was fine since even though there was yet more screams and such from the television, she wasn't following any of it. What he was doing right there, that was nice. Almost as nice as that little tiny hint of a kiss was. It was probably a good thing they were in a room full of people. Because...erm...yeah. A tiny voice in the back of her mind wanted to remind her that if they weren't in a room full of people, then he probably wouldn't have done it in the first place, what with not having a reason, but that really didn't actually filter through much. Instead she just tilted her head a little more into his touch. Even if it was just a tiny, tiny bit.

Dean's imagination was running head of him, playing this out as he inhaled the scent of her hair, her shampoo, just her. He could keep moving, kiss her ear, soft little kisses down to the lobe. She'd tilt her head until it became a turn and he could kiss around her jawline to her cheek to her lips and then... He stopped, stilling, reminding himself that just because she was reacting accordingly, that wasn't a sign that he could get carried away. There was always the possibility that she was just playing along - though, if she was, he really wished they could have a conversation about detail, cos the way she pushed back into him... That was Nice and not the kind of thing that would have been noticed by anyone else. But he knew he couldn't just stay here, stilled, his nose buried in her hair, and so he pulled back, but only far enough to rest his cheek on her shoulder.

She was not allowed to turn around right where she sat, grab him and kiss him. She also wasn't allowed to get up, grab him by the shirt and pull him into the nearest unoccupied room. Or like, the hallway. That was closer. Nope. Totally not in any way allowed to do that. She also wasn't allowed to be disappointed he'd stopped. Or kind of be wondering just what he would do if she went with her little urges, and say...kissed that place just beneath his jaw, along his throat there... Hello! She had no access to that. And anyways, just because he'd done that didn't mean--pretend. It was all pretendy....stuff. And stuff. Right. Goddamnit, she really wanted to turn around and just grab him, and do interesting things to him. She did turn to try and look at him out of the corner of her eye, heart still thudding in her chest. It was going to take her a second to calm down. And for gods sake, he hadn't even done that much.

Dean had his face turned in towards her and he wasn't even pretending to be watching the film anymore. He'd pretended to watch the last one, but this one? God, that wasn't happening. See, this was the problem with following urges - they got joined by other urges. Like the urge to tell everyone else they were going home right now. Which wasn't going to be happening. And the urge to just watch her - which was already going on, though he was managing to limit it to the lower part of her face, rather than her eyes, though the downside of that was the great and tempting view of her lips. Stupid urges.

She realized that she'd stopped playing with his fingers again. In fact she'd probably stopped that a bit ago. She was still holding onto his hand though, and her ring was just over the first knuckle of his middle finger. It was a slow process, but when she finally did look back at him, she noticed that he happened to be looking back at her as well. Aww shit. Was that bad? He didn't look like it was bad. There weren't any lines, or more, there weren't any more than the usual aura of negative energy around him. God she still had all of those urges to shove back. Nope. Not allowed to do Stupid Things. They were here. Watching...something. That she couldn't even remember the name of, now that she was thinking about it.

Dean met her eyes for a moment and the thought passed through his head that, if he wanted as excuse to get her alone, then he could just.... Cut the electrics, make the TV die, maybe the entire house - not point staying then, right? And that, Conway, would be one of those 'bad, petty urges' that you were talking about before. The ones you both agreed that you shouldn't go with, he told himself and he looked away. And then he pulled back, because, no, he wasn't going with that. Even if he was giving this whole loosening up thing a go, there were still limits and he was disappointed with himself just for thinking it.

Annnd her heart just sank. And she quickly turned her eyes forward again, to land on the television screen, even if she wasn't at all seeing it. Sure, moving pictures, whee. She'd seen the lines kick up a bit, and he'd sat back, and his hold on her loosened. It made her want to move herself, shift so she wasn't sitting on him anymore. That would likely be helpful. Belatedly, she tugged her ring off of his finger, and put it back on, done with that for now. And she decided that she had to go pee. Which she didn't, actually, but she could pretend. So she shifted, then slid off of his lap to stand up, trying not to disturb anyone else watching the television. 'Course, now she needed to know where the bathroom was...couldn't be too hard to find, right? It was a house, houses had them. They were pretty necessary and all.

Dean caught hold of her hand as she stood, raising his eyes to her face with a questioning look that he tried hard to keep the worry out of. There wasn't meant to be anything to worry about, was there? Just a boyfriend and girlfriend lightly fooling around watching a movie. Except, she was trying to make her escape the first moment that she could, probably, as he realised he'd been holding her kind of firmly and there was that eminent possibility that she hadn't been able to get away before. Maybe he'd read the push back wrong, maybe that was actually her trying to tell him subtly to knock it the hell off.

She looked back down at him, and there was a light little smile she gave him. With her free hand, she reached out to ghost her fingers through his hair, because she saw more lines pop up and she wanted to ease those. When she went to let her hand fall back to her side, she lightly let her fingertips graze across his cheek when she did it. She lingered there for another moment, just kind of looking down at him, watching his eyes. That, before she could feel other people's eyes on her, and she forced herself to look away, to step back.

He made himself return her smile and let go of her hand reluctantly, though he was aware that the 'reluctantly' was part of the act - if he'd been going with what he wanted, he wouldn't have let go at all, either making her stay, or - more likely - going with her to talk about what had just happened. But, there was an act and for the first time, he actually had to act for it. So, he let her go, but kept his eyes on her.

She didn't move away right away, still looking down into his eyes. She half reached out again, then stopped herself, before she headed out of the room for a minute, more or less stopping once she was in the hallway. Okay. Let's downshift here. Ease back, stop things...just quit it. In general. Stop this stupid bullshit. He's...that was so nice. But no! Acting. Pretendy times. That's what happened, and you looked back, and then he pulled back so you were really probably just taking that a little too damn far and shouldn't be. So, you can quit it right now. Kay? Stop. Breathe. He was playing his little role in this, and just doing it well. That's all. So...suck it up. Or something. Quit feeling like you wanna drag him off to the first even semi private space.

Dean was trying very hard to get back into the film once she left, but it became stunningly clear he was doing a terrible job of that when Jen spoke up after a minute or two. "God, you know - I was joking before when I said that you'd get her back, but..." she trailed off.

"Yeah, mate - she'd just gone to the loo, you're looking like she's going to be got by the shadows on her way back," Andy joined in, jumping on Jen's comment to add in some of his own with a laugh, which had Dean ducking his head and trying again to concentrate on the film, ignoring the teasing.

Lullaby wasn't gone long. She went into the bathroom which she found easily, and she basically drew a lot of deep breaths, letting them out slowly, then she splashed some cold water on her face. Well at least she didn't wear make up, so she didn't have to worry about ruining it. Then she ran her fingers back through her hair again, hoping she didn't make it stick up in places, she fixed her choker, and headed back. She'd managed to talk herself back down, but she knew that wasn't especially easy. And if he did even the slightest thing more, she'd probably fall right back into it like a big idiot.

Dean was firmly watching the film when he heard her re-enter the room. He hadn't got a clue what the plot was, but then again, with that much blood and gore, there was an even chance there wasn't one in the first place. But following the film was better than listening to the others going on about him having troubles letting her go. Which - it wasn't like that at all, he was just wanting to make sure he hadn't pushed things, but couldn't do that. But them going on at him wasn't helpful at all, because, yes actually, shadows had been known to get her. And him. And everyone else and he didn't want to think about that and so he was determinedly watching the film, a little more closed off than he'd been when she left.

She walked up to the end of the couch where he was at, and she noticed the lines were kicked up. So, she reached out, and drifted her fingers through his hair, leaning down to rest her arm on the arm and back of the couch, just sort of doing that for a moment, before she leaned a little further over, free arm sliding around his shoulder and neck.

Dean carried on watching the film for a minute, until she put her arm around him and he'd finished the internal battle between being teased about being overly clingy and her touching him. He looked round, tilting his head to rest against her arm. "You coming to sit back down?" he asked her, quietly.

She nodded, turning her face in towards him, where she nuzzled the tiniest bit at his temple. She stroked her fingers through his hair one more time, before she shifted to move round the side of the couch. Not that she was sure where she'd be sitting. She didn't know where was appropriate now. So she sort of hesitated, hoping he'd take the decision out of her hands and simply move her wherever he wanted her to be.

He did, in fact, take the decision out of her hands, figuring that if he was being named the clingy boyfriend, then damnit, he was going to play the clingy boyfriend. He pulled her towards him, lifting her back up into his lap and pulling her back into him, wrapping his arms around her. He shot a glance at Jen and was unsurprised to see her quirk a smile in his direction.

Lullaby was glad when he did that, and she settled back against him comfortably, arms hugging his against her and she rested her head back against his collarbone. That, to sit there and pretend she was paying attention to the movie which she didn't know a single character. She was just aware when Jen looked back at them, when Stu shot them little glances, and of course, mainly, Dean behind her. She started tracing little patterns on the back of his hand, a light little touch she wasn't thinking about til she thought about him in the cab. Which didn't stop her so much as just gave her mental imagery she didn't need right now.

He was trying to concentrate on the film, really he was, but then she started doing that, which was incredibly distracting and he found himself reciprocating because it felt natural. His hand was across her waist anyhow, and it didn't take much to bend his middle finger and slip it down between the bottom of her shirt and the top of her jeans and just mirror those little patterns on her skin. Really, it didn't.

If she'd been going for non distracted, this wasn't it. Because her brain about melted when he did that. It just felt really, really nice and she was still well aware of the fact that she was pretty positive he had never in his life really touched her there before, definitely not deliberately, definitely not deliberately against bare skin.

Concentrating on the film was hard, especially when his brain started filling in the little details, like how the other night he'd had his hand more on her belly and tonight it was kinda on the edge of her stomach, towards her side and there was a little curve there and how she might say that she had a fairly boyish figure, but there was definitely a little curve, just there, under his finger and he found himself less mirroring her movements on his hand and more brushing up and down that little area of skin on his own mini-exploration - not that it went more than about a square inch or anything. So much for pretending, he knew he was back on the real thing again, and, hopefully, since she actually agreed to come sit back here, her earlier escape wasn't as worrisome as he'd thought.

Lullaby was far too aware of what he was doing. Far, far too aware. Her entire concentration was on it, in fact. Sure, there was a movie playing, but that wasn't what she was thinking about. She wasn't even following what was on screen. She could just feel his fingertips against her skin, and that was nice. Nice, and she was half wishing that there was more to it. That he'd spread it out farther. It was a light, ticklish sort of touch, but not in the way that was going to make her curl up. It was just shy of that, instead it was making her skin tingle in the wake of it. What she was having trouble deciding was if it was all for show, because she knew that people occasionally glanced back at them, or what. Since really...they probably couldn't see that or anything. And of course there was the other part of her mind that just could not care if it was for show because it felt so nice.

Dean relaxed back against the back of the couch, taking her with him, though there really wasn't that far to go. He'd given up on the film completely, lying there with his eyes half closed. There was still that earlier urge to make excuses and leave, take her somewhere more private, just... go with it. But then again, here, in the semi-darkness, here he could carry on with this, pretending to pretend, and reality didn't have to be considered at all. So, staying was winning out right now.

Lullaby didn't mind the little bit of a move. It was comfortable, anyways. Though, she was always comfortable on his lap. She realized in a sort of distant fashion that the tracing she'd been doing on his hand had slowed down some, what with him being as distracting as he was. Which really said something, considering tracing little circles on the back of someone's hand? Not really brain surgery. Nope, it was not at all something that required even a tiny bit of intelligence, and yet he was managing to make focusing on it and keeping it up a little bit of a chore. It was likely a little unfair that he could do that with so little effort, with such a small gesture. Annnd yet he could, and witness her total lack of complaint. She shifted against him slightly, not really moving so much as making herself even more comfortable, and she was possibly moving just enough that if she wanted to do that nuzzle beneath his jaw thing, she could maybe pull that off. Maybe. If she could decide if that was okay, which was a process that was going to take far longer than usual with the distraction of it all.

Dean was aware that his little back and forth movements were getting slightly longer, taking in a slightly wider area as he silently explored her skin, aware that her own movements on his hand had changed and deciding that if she stopped, he'd take that as a sign that he should stop as well, but as long as she was keeping that up, that would mean to him that this was okay for him to carry on. Those were now the rules.

Internally, she wondered just how far he would get. Because she noticed of course that he was getting braver...or at the very least, he was spreading out on the area he was tracing along. So she wondered just how far he'd take it. And, in response, she actually started tracing a little higher up on his wrist. And she did want to nuzzle at his neck but she didn't want him to stop what he was doing, and would that make him stop? Stopping was bad. So for now she didn't. She just saw someone else bite it on screen, and had absolutely no idea who they were or anything.

Dean heard the scream, but the TV was now just providing a little light for the room for all he was concerned, his entire focus on a few small patches - her skin under his finger and her fingers moving from his hand to his wrist, waiting for her to stop, hardly daring to breathe until she did, but at the same time unable to shift the lazy, comfortable relaxed feeling that provided the counterpoint to the nerves that were dancing about in his stomach - it was the strangest feeling.

She was feeling that heartbeat racing thing again. She kept up what she was doing, tracing back out towards his fingertips, then back down again to his wrist, slightly around, towards the inside of it, slightly higher than that. It was kind of a gradual, slow back and forth that she wasn't paying much attention to, but didn't abandon. She shivered a little bit as he found the edge of the exit wound in one sweep. Not a bad thing at all, which...was probably strange, but she didn't feel the same shyness with Dean that she did with everyone else. He was allowed to see her scars. He knew where they were, it wasn't a big mystery or anything. It was just...sensitive.

She was getting wider with her playing just as he was, and Dean decided that that meant that he was allowed to keep up what he was doing. His eyes opened a little as he realised he'd felt the edge of one of her scars, but he continued the downward sweep again, slowing very slightly as he went up and reached that scar again, this time hesitating a little, exploring just a tiny bit, before leaving again, his breath stilling as he focused on her reaction. He knew she was sensitive about her scars, he didn't know if she'd want him exploring them at all.

There was a soft little intake of breath as he got to that edge again, not quite a hesitation, but the tiniest of pauses before she exhaled. She didn't mind it, which was something she kind of thought she would. If asked before, she would have said as such. That she wouldn't have wanted someone doing that. Maybe it was just different because it was Dean. Who really, had his own set of rules that he didn't count with. That everyone else in the world did, but they didn't apply to him. And she'd think all about that at another time, say, when her mind was a little more engaged in things, and she wasn't seeming to be running on much baser levels. Her own tracing went a little higher up on his arm, and she made it slightly more complicated a circuit at this point, From his knuckles, down the back of his hand, along his wrist, up his arm, then sliding along the inside of it and back down. All with little swirling patterns along the way. She was just dying to know if he was going to continue along the edge of the scar or not.

He stopped as she paused, very aware of that, though he didn't move his fingertip, waiting to see what she'd do. And as she continued to trace along his arm, he slowly and tentatively started to explore the very edge of the scar, all the time primed to stop the moment she gave any indication that he should.

She didn't, though she did wind up biting the inside of her lip. Another little shiver went through her, and she was thinking he had to feel those. She was practically laying on him. They just happened to be good ones. She kept up what she was doing, though her focus again drifted from that, pulled back from everything else. She tuned out the commentary on the film being made by Andy and all, she tuned out the sounds from the film itself. For all she was concerned, they could have been alone. Which really probably wasn't the wisest of things, but that's how it went for her. She just...wasn't paying attention to anything that wasn't Dean, and the tracing he was doing.

He stilled again with the shiver, wondering if he should quit it now - if he was beginning to push things, though he knew that he hadn't actually got anywhere near far enough to be worried about what he was doing in a roomful of people. It was just that there was that scar there, the exit wound, the remains of what had killed her. No, this wasn't about anyone else in the room and what they might think - this was purely about her. And him. Them. And so he stopped the sweep, though he left his hand resting against her skin, the pad of his middle finger now just moving back and forth a tiny little bit, stroking that single spot as he waited, purposefully holding her loosely, as he had been doing since she sat back down, so that this time she could get away if she wanted to.

Don't stop... was the first thing that went through her mind. Her own tracing hesitated, but only for a moment before it continued, because he hadn't stopped entirely. He was still tracing, just only that slight bit. Maybe he was tired of it now or something, she didn't know. What she did know was that he had entirely derailed her. Hell, she hadn't even really been thinking about the pretend aspect of things in the past few minutes, entirely wrapped up in everything else. She turned her face in more towards him, towards his neck slightly. It was a little awkward of a position, but she didn't mind. Plus, it wasn't like she was watching the movie anyways, now was it? And she was kind of done pretending she was.

Dean felt her move and glanced down towards her, wondering if this was where he'd look at her and see her looking mad at him. Or something. God, he really hoped that wouldn't be the case. But yet he still didn't move his hand.

Lullaby was pretty far from looking mad. She definitely didn't, mad was in another hemisphere or something, it wasn't anywhere near her. She watched his eyes for a few moments, swirling pattern on the inside of his wrist not straying for a few moments before it started up again. Then she moved, a clearly intentional move, to nuzzle just beneath his jaw, along his throat the tiniest bit.

Dean closed his eyes and exhaled as she did that, his mind going back to that whole 'getting her alone' thing, because, really, right now? He was definitely of the opinion that they needed to talk - though, he doubted that he'd really be much able to talk right now if it came down to it, but, seriously... He was fairly sure now that he wasn't in trouble. Or that she was going to be moving any time soon, though he did shift her a little off to one side, which had the dual benefit of making him a little bit more comfortable, and also giving her slightly better access to be able to do whatever the hell she wanted to his neck that way.

That was good. She could deal with that. Because she did have a little more access now, or possibly a lot more, and she didn't figure that meant he was against her doing that. In fact, she was deciding to take it as an invitation. So, without overthinking things, she continued what she was doing. It was really slow, and very light, but there. She nuzzled along his neck, working down a little before she headed back up, more towards his ear. What she was planning on doing when she got there, she had no idea, but she'd rather stopped thinking through anything she was doing at current. Thinking would probably just make her flail a whole lot, and anyways, that would require far more brain power than she had available to her. So...she was doing that instead, while she sort of half waited for him to do something that would indicate she should knock it the fuck off.

Dean had absolutely no intention of telling her any such thing, if fact he was wondering if there was any way that he could possibly encourage her in the midst of feeling incredibly dazed. They'd been talking the other day about how being here felt unreal, well, right here and now - this definitely felt like a dream. And, if it was, he really, really didn't want to wake up. Everyone else to fuck the hell off, sure, but not to wake up. He'd stopped moving, no longer exploring her skin - the part of his brain that told his hand to move had shut down somewhere along the line, though that one finger managed to keep up those tiny little soft strokes, just about - stopping the repetitive motion would probably be harder than keeping it going.

She was aware that he had stopped sort of exploring so much as he was just tracing back and forth. Which to her was okay, so long as that didn't stop. If that did, she'd start to wonder, and she did realize she'd stopped tracing along his hand, and had just rested her fingertips over his wrist. She was doing something else now and keeping both up would break her brain. So, she just did what she wanted to be doing more. That was a sound theory, right? She kept nuzzling, keeping it as light as she could, til she got up towards his ear. There, she exhaled softly, entirely unsure what she was going to do next. But hey, she'd stopped thinking through her actions a good...how long had it been? Time kinda seemed to have lost meaning there after a bit.

Dean had lifted his head, turning a little as she moved up, stretching the column of his neck to give her better access, his breathing not quite steady as he wondered if she was going to return the favour of earlier and kiss him. Anywhere, really - she... She could do whatever she wanted right now. He was totally and completely hers right now, to do with as she would - as long as she didn't stop.

She nuzzled at his earlobe for a moment, aware he was giving her access there. Then she worked back down a little, just beneath his jawline, at his throat. The place she generally picked out that she liked, and she did return the favor. At first, it was just a bare brush of her lips. Hell it possibly could have been an accident, but after it was done... Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she did it a second time, this a bit more definite in it's intention. Any time now this was all going to end. Really. Something was going to happen, or he was going to pull away, or...something. But until then she was okay with pushing her luck.

There was a grumble in the room as the picture on the screen went fuzzy for a moment, flickering slightly, but just as Andy was getting up to fix it, it cleared again. But it was enough that Dean blinked, because he knew exactly what had caused that - which was him, though, really - had he let himself drift that much? He sat up a little, brought out of his daze, though he really, really wished he could go back into it again.

It was less the actual event that she noticed, and more Dean's reaction to it that got her attention. She ticked her gaze back over to him just in time to see the picture on the set right itself, and she shifted when he did, sitting up a little better as well. She looked at Dean, kind of wondering...well. It was him, she knew that, but...that was generally bad, wasn't it? Shit. She'd fucked up, hadn't she. Shit. Shit. And cue the internal flailing! She really wanted to flee at the moment, go....sit on the porch for a while or go for a walk or anything that was putting her not where she was causing things like that. She'd had to have misinterpreted everything. Maybe he hadn't been giving her more access to his neck, he'd just been trying to turn away, and she hadn't gotten it, or...a million things went through her head right then that she was figuring were her doing everything wrong. Fuck.

He was tense for a moment, all too aware of things, including, suddenly, everyone else in the room. He tried to settle back down again as he heard a little laugh come from the other side of the room. "Oh, look - they surfaced," Jen giggled, ignoring the slight bat on the arm from Stu. "Welcome back to the land of the living, you two."

Again, she looked over more from the cue of Dean's reaction than getting it herself, and she looked over. She'd heard the laugh, but missed a little of what Jen had said. Like whatever she'd said to warrant Stu hitting her. She blushed darkly again and looked supremely embarrassed, and she shifted, not sure what to do now or anything. Shit. "Um..." she said, but she didn't have anything after that. So, like a little girl, she clapped her hands over her face, hoping people would stop staring now. Really, any time. And she'd messed something up because Dean had made the television flicker, and...could she just maybe...disappear now? Fuck, was she visible? She actually had to look down at herself to be sure, suddenly not. Because she was someone who actually could disappear if she really wanted to...

Dean was also embarrassed - embarrassed, but more annoyed with himself for ruining this, whatever 'this' was - maybe this moment of madness where something had happened, the planets had aligned or some shit and he was actually getting a real-life peek at his fantasies playing out and, right - he had to go and ruin it and why did that happen anyway? It was like last time - but, last time had been... This wasn't last time, this was just a kiss for fuck's sake. And he'd been kissed before and shit like that never happened and, god, could they just rewind to a few minutes ago and for that not to happen? Please? But in the meantime, he had no answer for Jen, not really. No snarky comeback or witty phrase - not that he really got those that much anyway, well maybe sometimes, but... The film - he could - yeah, there was the film... In which he had no idea what was going on. But look! Someone just died! Great, there, plot. Right. God.

Okay she was still technically there. But gah. Could they go now? But then she'd have to figure out what she was going to say to him. Well. Beyond the profuse apologies, because that was definitely necessary. What the hell else could she do? She needed to tell him she was sorry, and....fuck. She had nothing. Goddamnit. Now she was nervous for entirely different reasons, and for a few minutes, she just kind of stayed right where she was, eyes technically on the screen, but she wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention. Then she slowly shifted her gaze, trying to look at Dean without drawing attention to herself. Just to see if he looked really mad or something. She could have missed lines, right? It was darkish.

It was no use - Dean just had entirely no interest in the film, though he was trying his best to fake it. He was all sorts of hot and bothered from before and that wasn't going away just because he'd fucked up - he just didn't know how to get them back to where they'd been before. If that was at all possible and not just some fluke. It'd feel forced to just go back to it, though Dean considered the option. He glanced over at her a little as he tried to come up with some sort of plan.

When he looked at her, she glanced away immediately, like he might not have noticed she was looking at him or something, then of course instantly told herself she was being stupid, and her gaze was back on him. She was sort of half looking at him through her eyelashes, teeth biting down lightly on her lower lip. Lullaby was trying really hard to see if there were lines she hadn't noticed before, if he was angry with her. Or just...she had no idea.

When she looked away, he didn't - so he was still looking at her when she looked back, though that was the extent of his plan here as he hoped for some wild bout of inspiration to hit. Anytime now, that would be great. At least everyone else seemed to have settled back down to watching the film again.

She kept her eyes on his, seeing...well. There were lines, but...they were ones she'd never seen before. Yeah those were a mystery to her, and she wondered what the hell they were. They didn't look overwhelmingly bad, or anything, and for a moment her eyes tracked one of them, before they clicked back to his. She was still biting at her lower lip, and she was trying to read his eyes. But...well. It wasn't like she'd been in this position with him before. That was a big old no. So she was left lost, trying to interpret what she was seeing even when she had the feeling she would need it spelled out for her. But he didn't look angry. So...that was good, right?

Dean watched her eyes lift and wondered what she was seeing - he had an idea. He figured he had lines. Hell, he knew he was annoyed with himself. And frustrated - did frustration turn up as lines? Was that negative enough? He didn't know. And it wasn't like it was bad frustration, but, yeah - it was definitely there. He gave her a little smile which he hoped was reassuring and reached up, brushing a thumb along her cheek bone, just lightly, something he'd never done before, but the rules seemed to be changing here. Or, at least, he hoped they were.

So of things she expected to happen, that wasn't listed. She didn't know what it had been, beyond a pissy sort of response, but not a little smile, and definitely not the touch to her cheek. The touch which she very lightly turned into. He'd never done that before. The closest to that had been on the very rare occasion that he'd tucked her hair behind her ear or something. But no, not anything like this. This was entirely different. She kept her eyes on his, too, now totally unable to look away, even if she was still unsure what the hell was happening here.

He let his hand drop back down again as she didn't do anything other than look at him and he wasn't sure what to do now. Not that he'd had any ideas about what to expect from that, but - he really didn't know what he was doing here. He ran his gaze along her features once more, before looking back at the screen, in case what should be happening was actual film-watching, though he glanced back at her almost straight away, darting his gaze between Thia and the screen.

She was still watching him, sort of disappointed that he'd stopped touching her like that. But really, there had been...whatever that had been, and they should knock it off now, right? She should pretend to watch the movie. Even if she was totally lost on it and couldn't be bothered to care about any of it. Pretend! Which their whole dating thing was! And they'd obviously gotten noticed for couple-like behavior, maybe they should quit now. Maybe he'd proved his point, and...she had no idea. She'd probably come up with a lot of arguments later but for now she had nothing. She realized sort of belatedly that she was playing with the folds of his shirt. Just sort of running her thumb back and forth along one, and she should quit that too.

There was no way in hell that he was going to be able to get even a wink of sleep tonight, Dean was certain of that. He could just see it now, they'd get home, she'd want to go to bed and he'd be lying there, all bloody night, with her right there and now with that added knowledge of what it felt like to have her touch him like that and, god, god this was going to be hell, he was going to die, he was sure of it. And she was still playing - okay, sure, just his shirt, but it was all too easy to think about her going from that to maybe slipping her hand under said shirt, to... He needed to stop this now, really, the thinking thing.

He was staying where he was, and she was staying where she was, and they were just...kind of staring at one another. And she didn't know what that meant. But after a moment or two, she smiled. Because all at once this struck her as a bit amusing, despite the earlier embarrassment. And he didn't look like he was pissed about anything, so...he'd said before that his control on his ability wasn't necessarily spot on. She just hadn't seen a lot of that, it was usually when things were bad, but maybe she just hadn't been around when he'd done something. Or...something. Whatever. Either way, a little curve to her lips appeared, very slightly impish in nature.

He relaxed a bit when he saw the smile appear, because, well, she was smiling and - and he had no idea, but, there were smiles and she got a little one in return. This wasn't a bad thing, he just didn't know if she had any clue what she did to him. But, that was his problem, wasn't it? And, hey, if she decided to help him with that, then great, no complaints. If not then, well - yeah, it was going to be a long long night.

She knew that really, they should probably stop staring at one another now. They should go back to watching the movie, and stop just looking at each other. She liked the smile there, she liked that she got one, and...maybe that meant things were better, or okay, or something, but... Yep. Any time now, they should look away. And she shouldn't reach up and trace her fingertips down the side of his neck along the edge of the chain only she knew was there. But hey--she did. She wasn't actually brave enough to go back to what she'd been doing, but...she was brave enough to do that.

The movement made the cross and ring shift against his chest and he tilted his head to the side a little, the thought occurring to him that he could actually give her her ring back whilst they were here. No werewolves with silver allergies in the immediate vicinity, after all. But he had to admit that he liked having her ring - there was a reason he always wore it, he didn't want to give it back to her. Anyway, she had a replacement, didn't she? He gaze ticked down a little, just about able to see her fingers, see the ring there, the one he'd sort-of-kind-of given her. Even if she didn't know it.

She saw his gaze tick down, and wondered what exactly he was looking at. And then wondered if he was just looking in a 'hey, the hell do you think you're doing?' manner. Didn't seem to be, though. Lines probably would have kicked up, and he would have had a much more pinched 'what the fuck' look on his features. So, she didn't get that impression from it. She traced along the chain down to his collarbone, then along that towards his throat where she stopped, but just because she ran out of room there. And it wasn't like she could tug his shirt off so she could keep going. Then she did sort of keep going anyways, she just did it over his shirt.

He continued to watch her, wondering what she'd do when she reached the edge of his shirt, wondering for a moment whether she really actually intended to keep following it down by his skin - and all too easily able to imagine what that would entail. He was almost disappointed as she just traced it down over his shirt.

She got down to the cross and stopped, tapping her nail against it for a moment before, she traced back up the other side, admittedly rushing just a little til she was back to skin. There she slowed back down again, because she was going to have nowhere to go there in just a second. And then she'd probably have to stop, and...pretend to watch the movie? Maybe? Was she even capable of that right now?

Dean wondered what the time was - and how long this damn film had left to run anyway. He both wanted and feared the end of the film. Wanted it, because he wanted to be able to get out of here now, to not be in a roomful of people with her anymore. And feared it for the same reason. Feared to find out that this was all just part of the pretence, that this wasn't actually anything, or that he wasn't going to have the guts to say anything, if there was anything to say.

She kept her eyes on him and shifted, just a little, a touch closer to him. Not a whole lot, not like she had been before they moved, but closer than she had been a second ago. She ran out of space to trace, though, and she just let her fingers lightly drift across his neck before she rested her hand on his chest, not sure what happened next. But she really did need to stop that, so...she did. There. She was behaving. Or...something. It was a theory.

Dean still had an arm around her and when she moved slightly closer, he encouraged that, pulling her in a little. It wasn't as much as before, but if she wanted to be closer - he wanted her closer, even if she disppointedly stopping playing. He reached up with his free hand and laid it over hers, the pads of his fingers laying over her knuckles, stroking lightly, running little circles round and round.

She liked that. She was okay with that. And as he pulled her closer, she took the opportunity to shift slightly, and she brought her free hand up and around over his shoulder, so she could play with the hair at the back of his neck a little. That, and her fingertips scratched lightly along his skin while she was at it as well. Just a tiny little bit. Bitty, really. Barely noticeable.

It'd be easy - they were so close now, all he had to do was pull her in that little bit further - his head was already tilted slightly, perfect kissing position really. So, so easy. But - would that be crossing a boundary that really shouldn't be crossed? He couldn't shift that final bit of insecurity, though strangely, all his arguments for Caleb, all the reasons about not being able to lose her, about wanting to be entirely sure - they seemed to have disappeared right now.

Lullaby was thinking along the same lines. Like...kissing was looking like a good idea. And while she'd gone through little patches of insanity where she wanted to kiss him before, it had never seemed quite so possible before. And yet if she did...what happened then? She was more aware than when she'd kissed his neck that there were other people in the room. And really, if she kissed him, she'd really want to kiss him. Make it count, since well...it could be the first and last, should she be reading things wrong entirely. But yet she still wanted to do little things. Grr. Stupid being in a room with lots of people and not knowing what the hell was acceptable and what wasn't right now.

She was so close now that Dean was aware that he was flicking his gaze noticeably between her eyes and lips and whilst he could argue that he always looked at people lips anyway, so he caught what they were saying, that didn't really apply here and he knew it. No, he was looking because they were right there and - and they were in a room full of people and didn't they have this pretence thing and could he blame it on that? Just to find out what it would be like to kiss her, really, properly kiss her? Except - that would be taking advantage, wouldn't it? Though - if this was taking advantage, was that really so much worse than what he'd been doing all evening? And, well - she'd hardly been complaining, had she?

She did notice where his gaze was going. And she had to wonder...was he thinking about the same thing she was? And if so...what did he think about it? Why couldn't she have come back from the dead with useful powers like mind reading? Seriously now. That would be really really helpful right now. Unconsciously, she dragged her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment, wetting it just that little bit. She should pretend to watch the movie now. But she couldn't actually look away. And really nothing short of a zombie invasion that crashed through the living room window would have been able to tear her gaze away at that point.

He unconsciously mirrored her action, dragging his teeth over his bottom lip just as she did, a second behind her only. He swayed forward a little, then back again, not quite having the nerve to follow through with the motion, but really, really wanting to. He wondered how long the movie had to run - couldn't be that long now, but... If the credits rolled right this minute, he... He couldn't decide whether that would be a good, or a bad, thing. It would definitely take the decision out of his hands.

Her heart about stopped when he leaned forward a little. And she let out a frustrated little growl when he pulled back again. Because she'd just been going to meet him half way, her stomach full of butterflies, her heart threading along fast. Could she just grab him, and kiss him? Was she even allowed to do that? God she wanted to. And at the same time, there was a part of her that really really wanted him to do it. She'd made that first move on Joshua, she wanted Dean to make the first move on her. Which was pretty much the only thing that stopped her.

He caught the little growl and for a moment, it surprised him, because he recognised it - he felt it right now and he held her gaze, frozen for a moment longer before he closed his eyes, took a breath, then opened them again and, his heart beating so hard he thought that it was going to thump right out of his chest, he leaned forward and kissed her.

Lullaby had convinced herself that it wasn't going to happen. Really, she had. That it was all in her head, and it wasn't going to happen, and anyways, what was she thinking? And she almost pulled away again, going to rest her head on his chest to pretend to watch whatever the hell was left of the movie. And then...it happened. He kissed her. And she reacted, not actually even needing more than a heartbeat to go with it, being it was something she wanted so intensely badly. The hand that had been on his chest slide up to the back of his neck, like he might try to pull away too soon, before she got the chance to kiss him back properly.

He'd only been going to go for the tiniest of kisses. Just a brush over her lips, nothing more - not pushing anything at all, knowing that he shouldn't even probably really do that much. But when she responded, that all flew out of the window, going from 'brush' to 'never going to let you go' in a fraction of a second and he pulled her closer to him and deepened the kiss, nevermind that they were with friends or anything.

Well, right. She might have a heart attack here in a minute, because her heart was beating that hard and fast, but she'd die happy. Which would be a first for her, really. She kissed him back, and when he deepened it, she went with it, really chucking caution to the winds now too with the sudden flip of the 'on' switch that seemed to happen there. She pressed closer to him...which was probably going to be problematic in just a bit, because it made her want to do other things, but this whole kiss thing was already making her want to do other things. She'd had very, highly vivid and plentiful fantasies about him and this, after all.

It was all he could do not to take her by the hips and hoist her fully on top of him right now. That, or roll them over so he was on her - either of those positions would be better for kissing her right now and both of those positions had featured fairly high up in his fantasies since he'd met the girl. But, there was no way that he could do that right now and not make it stunningly obvious to everyone else in the room. Just because he'd gone bounding over the lines he'd set with Thia didn't mean that there weren't rules of public conduct still in place and whilst he knew he could get away with kissing his 'girlfriend' in public, any much more of that and, yeah, that wasn't on.

Lullaby's mind was running along similar lines. How really, if everyone else could just...oh, disappear right around now? That'd be awesome. Magically being alone with Dean would really be nice. She'd be a fan. And possibly shove him down onto his back and...yep. Right. She couldn't do that. Even if that was exactly what she wanted to be doing, and there were variations in her head that would also be fully acceptable--if they were alone. Shit. And it occurred to her that she was going to have to stop kissing him at some point, and that just seemed like such a bad idea. So, she didn't just yet. She didn't want to. She was good with finally finding out what he tasted like, and depriving herself of overrated things like oxygen. Her fingers did tighten at the back of his neck, and she scraped her teeth over his bottom lip.

Dean let out a little moan at that, which was followed closely by a little giggle from Jen, before a cushion came flying over and hit Dean on the top of the head. "Oi! Get a room," Stu called out from the other side of the living room, though he didn't sound pissed, just highly, intensely amused whilst his girlfriend couldn't stop giggling.

See? Now that sounded like a fantastic idea. Really it did. And she was positive she should have been a lot more embarrassed by all of this--and she was! a little...--but it didn't drop her back down like the previous time had. She did pull back, of course, and her face was flushed, though her cheeks would have been flushed already. She quickly looked back up at Dean, to see how he was doing with the interruption. Like, say, deciding the whole thing was a terrible idea and he regretted all of it and really she should move now, or...whatever.

Dean was back to feeling dazed again, dazed and dizzy and - had that really just happened? He looked at Thia and decided that yes, yes it really had and now what? Because, well, for all that Stu'd been teasing, they couldn't actually just leave. Especially not when they were apparently already dating. It would be rude. And so he gave her a slightly questioning look, trying to silently convey the 'What was that? Was that what I thought it was? Can that be what I thought it was? You liked that as much as I did, right?' line of questions, together with the 'I'd like to continue this, but my friends are idiots and if you wanted to the fact that I'm not has nothing to do with you or that I don't want to or anything it's just because there are other people here, okay?' reassurance. Though, really, all of that was hard to get into a single look and he wasn't sure how well he pulled it off.

She looked back at him, and she wasn't entirely sure what was going on behind his eyes. But there was a bit of a questioning look going on. They really needed to get out of here. Seriously, how long could this movie be, anyways? It was horror, surely everyone was dead by now. There'd already been flagrant dismemberment and the like, so really. What she wound up doing was leaning closer, and brushing a soft, light little kiss across his lips, just because. Well there were a lot of reasons, really, one of which being the prominent 'I wasn't really ready to stop' excuse. And she wasn't starting it back up again, but...that was okay, right? And plus, he might tell her after they left that it was particularly good acting or something, and break her little heart into a million pieces, so for the time being, she was going with that for an answer.

Dean smiled a little as she did that and returned the brush, but didn't try and do anything more with it - though that took a huge amount of willpower. But, willpower was somethimg he very definitely had and he was good at controlling himself when he had to, or, at least, making it look like that's what he was doing and so he didn't push it and settled her down by his side, turning to pray for the end of the film he didn't give a fuck about so they could make their excuses and get the hell out of here.

Lullaby curled up into his side and rested her head on his chest to do pretty much the same. Because yep. Look! Chases, and some more blood, and could this be done now? She even glanced at the running time on the dvd player, and okay, it should be done soon. Really should be. So at least at most they'd have to suffer through fifteen minutes of this thing, then she was positive they could come up with some reason to go home. she was already thinking of some. They had to get up in the morning for something...Dean's mom wanted them back early...um...stuff....she didn't care so long as it sounded vaguely reasonable and people just merrily let them go.

Dean had about as much knowledge of the end of that film as the middle, or even the beginning, since he was distracted by trying to work out if that last person was dead already - rocks fall, everyone dies - that could happen, right? Who gives a fuck whether the bad guy gets away with it or not - it was only a damn film! And look, just - fuck it hero person thing - just get a gun and shoot the bastard, seriously, it's not that hard! Dean thought to himself - very nearly said as well. And, in fact, a moment later, actually engaging with the film for a moment, he couldn't stop himself. "Oh, come on - just shoot him, he's right there, you have a bloody gun - what's the issue here?" he exclaimed.

Lullaby looked at him and had to grin, giggling at that. She felt much the same way. See, he could shoot, they could do the fake out--oh! There was the shot. An the walk over... "I'm just waiting for the day when people in horror movies learn to just empty the full clip into the stupid monster killer guy then walk away and not go look. ...cuz oohhhh look he's gettin dead too." she said after the person on screen went to check and got their throat grabbed with an abrupt cut to the credits. Like it was meant to be scary and shocking. But whee! It was done! How fast could they actually get out of here without seeming rude?

"And this is why you go for the head," Dean said, agreeing - his mind so much in no way actually humming along any line that was actually really connected to his life that he could come out with that right now and not have to think about it, or angst about it at all. Really, right now, he just wanted to demonstrate that, yes, look, he could make conversation and then they could just go.

"Yeah, but if someone worked that out, it'd be a really short film - like if Stormtroppers ever learned to shoot," Andy pointed out, sitting forward and finishing off the rest of his drink, eyeing Dean and Thia. "So, we good to go straight onto the next one?" he asked with an air of innocence.

"So then they just need more hoards of things to shoot at. See this is why I'm a fan of the zombie movie..." Lullaby started. Then Andy said something about the next movie and she looked at Dean for a moment, then back to the room at large. "Actually, I think we might have to get back..." she started, wondering if that was okay. Well, if it wasn't, Dean could contradict her. That was her plan and she was sticking to it. Jen gave her a grin, but didn't say anything, and, thankfully, didn't look offended. She just looked amused as hell, really.

"Yeah - we really have to get back. I mean, I'm knackered and - we were gonna go somewhere tomorrow and , yeah - really should... Had a great time though - and we'll see you Wednesday, right?" Dean checked, standing and pulling Thia to her feet with him.

"Right - and you were going to text me, Thia," Jen checked, not wanting the girl to forget that, and equally letting Dean have any excuse he wanted, even though she was fairly sure that the 'tired' excuse was a load of bollocks.

"Yes! And I will, promise." Lullaby said with a smile. It was genuine, even! Because they were leaving! Well, that and she very much liked Jen. She of course didn't mind it that Dean just kinda pulled her up with him, that was all fine and good, and she waved at everyone. "Wednesday! It was great to see you all, I had a great time!" she said, already sort of backing up towards the door.

Dean ignored the fact that Andy looked kind of disappointed at them leaving because right now, didn't care. And he could feel guilty over that later, he decided as he turned and they made their way through the house and out into the street, the darkness broken only by the regular streetlights which cast an orangish glow. As the front door closed behind them, Dean suddenly realised two things. Firstly that they were alone. And secondly, that he wasn't sure what to do now.

She wasn't sure either! She kind of fidgeted just a little bit, and looked up at him, wondering if now was the bit where he took her for a walk, and told her all about how they were just friends, and that was okay and all for the pretendy show and such, but this wasn't real, remember? How he hadn't meant to lead her on or anything, but... So, her stomach knotted up and she started down the walk, not sure if she should drop his hand or not, because all of the confidence she'd had up til five minutes ago had evaporated in the face of what was really probably reality...

He needed to do something, that was clear, even to him and, as much as it might just be easier to pull her round and kiss her like the world was ending, they probably should, at some point, talk. They did that, as a rule. And if he was going to find out that despite what his brain was telling him, that this was all part of the act, then he'd prefer to find that out before he made a complete fool of himself. "Erm, Thia - I... did you.. Want to go for a walk?" he asked her, knowing that he didn't want to have this conversation at home.

Her stomach did icky things, thinking this was it. The Talk. And that wonderful, gloriously awesome little kissing session they had that had really been cut off too short, that was just going to be the first and last time. "Yeah, um...lead the way?" she suggested, after looking around and knowing not in the slightest which direction to go. She didn't even really remember which direction they'd come from to get here. Hopefully it would be like ripping off a bandaid. He'd just...not trip over his words and get it all out there at once so she could be mortified, promise never to do it again, and...yeah. She didn't know.

He really, really wished they had somewhere to go. But, they didn't - and everywhere was still wet from the earlier rainstorm. In the end he turned them right up the road, heading for the field at the end. At least they'd have shelter by the building there and it'd be dry. Dark, but dry. They had to climb over the railings to get in as well, but that wasn't hard to do - they weren't there so much to keep people out as to stop people breaking into the ground with cars and ruining the grass. He led her through the shadows cast by the wooden hut and under the overhang at the front where, in fact, there was some dry, concreted ground to sit on. "Erm," Dean began as he sat them down. He knew he needed more than that, but for the life of him, the words just weren't there.

Lullaby sat down, sitting indian style with her side to the building, facing him. She didn't know what to say either but all she did know was in the time it had taken them to get here, her mind was on full on, five alarm flail. And so after he started but said nothing, she got to rambling. "Dean, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything and I really just...and I'm not..but...and I really sort of...and it's hard not to...and I'm sorry, did I mention I was sorry? And I promise I'll never do that again if you...and sorry, and I just, I've had these feelings...and they've been there for a long time now and I just...and this...and I'm just...going to shut up now." she said. "...sorry. And---sorry."

Dean tried hard to follow her ramble, but it really was all over the place. But, he thought he got the important bits. "You didn't make me uncomfortable," he told her, quickly, getting that out of the way. "And - I like you too," he added, figuring that he should probably start small, not go straight for the overkill. Anyway, he could get that out.

"And I know that all of this is probably going to make everything weird and I'm really sorry about that and you know you're my best friend and I'd never want to make...any...thing..." she started then trailed off, blinking at him. "Huh?" she asked intelligently. "You--wait, what?" she asked. "Run that by me again." she requested, looking at him wide eyed, her surprise pretty apparent. "Like...as in..."

"Like as in like," Dean told her. "Have done for a long time. Like, long long time. Like, since we met long time, I just... I didn't think that you... Would ever, really... And, like, well - see, there was Joshua and I wouldn't - well, you know I wouldn't and then there was everything else and it was just the wrong time and then, well you've never really - or anything but I mean possibly and I... am making no sense so I'm going to shut up now okay, but I like you."

She was listening, and she was understanding the words on a simple vocabulary level. It was just the order they lined up in that she was having real problems processing. Like that 'since we met' bit, how he'd liked her for a long time. That was kinda...blowing her mind. So, she was left staring at him. Blinking, a lot. "Dean--you have never given me any..." she started, just all stuck on things. "I've--half the time you can't be far enough away from me! I thought--" she started a second time, totally having trouble with full thoughts or complete sentences. "How--"

"I didn't want to make things weird between us," Dean told her, simply. And it would have done. She'd had a boyfriend. And then she'd been recovering from a slight case of horrific death and had a boyfriend. And then she'd been having a slight case of horrific death and was dealing with splitting up with said boyfriend. Plus, another couple of cases of horrific death. Really, there'd not actually been a good time to add 'and my best friend is chasing me' to the mix.

She still stared for a long while, letting that sink in. Slowly, it was. "I...I really thought that you just...didn't see me like that and never would." she admitted, starting to come out of her flail. And for the first time, she smiled at him, a shy little expression as she looked down at where she was playing with the bells on her ankle, to look back up at him through her eyelashes. "You really liked me since we met?" she asked, smile widening a little. That amazed her. Really the one thing she'd always been sure of was that Dean didn't see her like that. That...meant he was a much better pretender than she'd ever realized. And...now that she was thinking about things...did his behavior possibly make more sense?

"Does that really surprise you that much?" Dean asked, though it was clearly a rhetorical question, because he wasn't blind, he could see the answer there. He shrugged a little. "Yeah, I did, I mean - s'why Joshua had a problem with me. Not that I - I mean, I wouldn't and - you wouldn't either and I never would have... Well, clearly, but I mean that is, I..." Dean took a breath and started again, trying to marshall his words before speaking. "The talk we had this morning. About rules. About what I will and won't let myself do." He shrugged. "You don't go after another guy's girl. And you don't go after a girl who's not interested."

"I've been interested in you for a while now." Lullaby told him. And she was blushing, really, really badly, and fidgeting a lot, even if internally she was still going 'woah' and blinking a lot. She was starting to come into things. "But that makes sense. Very...very you." she decided. "I...you wouldn't ever do anything. I've never not trusted you." she told him. "Never once. ...I've done a whole lot of not trusting me lately, but that's totally different and not at all...and stuff. Right. But anyways, yeah, I understand. But um...I never knew. Not even a little bit. I always thought...I figured I was just going to have to get over you, which by the way I've been trying to do? And it's so not working for me. Like at all. It just keeps getting worse and worse and I just like you more, and then there are these moments where I've really really just wanted to kiss you and there's... um. There's been flailing." she admitted, still blushing, and fidgeting, and she was going to break one of her bells off if she didn't stop messing with the damn thing. The back of her mind was now starting to wonder about the implications here. Did this mean they were going to start being together? Was that the dumbest question ever in the history of everything?

"I've not trusted me," Dean admitted to her, wondering why he was still talking and not, say, pulling her to him and kissing her. But, this seemed important to get out - they might not really get a chance to discuss it again and he wanted her to understand him, and he wanted to understand her. "Lots of times. When, like - you're there and I've just wanted to... It's like - you said a few minutes ago that, sometimes I seemed - like I couldn't get far enough away. I never meant, I mean, that is - that's.. Me not trusting me. To be that close to you. Because there were lines and I'd cross them." He gave her a shyish little smile. "Really, really wanted to cross them at times. But - I was... I thought it would lose me my best friend and... We were more important than that. So I, kinda, well - tried to get over you as well, I guess, but - didn't work so well for me either. And then I thought that, maybe... But then everything got in the way and, yeah." He paused. "I... I'm glad you didn't, y'know - get over me," he offered.

She bit her lower lip and smiled at that. A cute, purely genuine smile. "I'm glad you didn't get over me either." she said. And apparently he'd been practicing that much longer than she had. EE! That was starting to sink in a little. "You wouldn't have lost me." she told him, because her mind latched onto that. "If anything--you wouldn't have. But...I have to admit that a lot of times when I wanted to um...y'know. Do...things, I thought the same thing. That you'd just...kinda turn away and not want to be around anymore and stuff, because you didn't like me like that, and...and yeah." She needed to quit blushing anew during this conversation. So much was going through her mind right then that she was having trouble keeping up, and knowing what she needed to say. Because she wanted them to understand each other as well. And alright, she wanted to get back to that making out thing, or properly start it but they didn't work like that. They talked about things. It was just...them. She didn't want that to stop now, it would feel ten kinds of wrong. Hell, a huge reason she loved him as much as she did was because they communicated. "So...yeah, I guess I've just..." there was that smile again, a touch of shy to it as she looked down and fidgeted, before she looked back up again. "I just have! And...yeah. Sorry." she laughed at herself, shaking her head. "This is..." She couldn't come up with an appropriate word. A few crossed her mind, though. Exciting, amazing, awesome...

"Things?" Dean asked, unable to stop himself and with an accompanying smirk as he reached out for her hand. He liked the sound of 'things' - 'things' were definitely good, though he had to remind himself that they were, actually, talking here and he probably shouldn't just derail that.

She let him take her hand, and she started to fidget with his, because she still had that nervous energy running through her. "Yes, things...." she said, feeling like she was going to blush herself completely to death, and she just really needed to quit it. But that look he had on his face right there? God. Unfair, if he wanted her to keep talking and such. With coherency, anyways. Like with real words and not just indistinct articulations. "Liiiiike....there was that morning where it was all foggy? And it was cold and we went back inside, and we were heading upstairs and arguing about who should get the shower first?" she said, latching onto one of said many things... "Well, do you have any idea how difficult it can be not to just pull someone's shirt off? See you'd think it'd be really simple and everything, just...not randomly undressing people. But it was hard." she assured him.

Dean wished there was more light so he could properly see her right now, because he could see enough to see she was blushing, but not enough to really properly be able to appreciate that. "See, now - I... Really wouldn't have minded," he told her, pulling gently on her hand to get her to come over. "I... kind of like it... When you do that." Now it was his turn to blush a little and duck his head slightly. "Like, I mean, it's - with, I... When you..." Okay, so this had sounded so nice and simple in his head, but now he was saying it he was worried that it'd come out lame and stupid and so he was messing it up. "Like, when you - with the holster and... stuff..."

She had to smirk at that. Because that? She always liked. "Hey--it's my job." she told him, going closer as he tugged her, but she was waiting to see just how close he wanted her. "I started that a long time ago, now it's just...it's my job. So, you can just keep right on leaving that to me." she assured him with a nod. "My trouble runs in when I get really close and slide it off your shoulders, and start thinking about where else things could go and then I'd have to remind myself that I wasn't actually allowed to do any of that. Which...apparently I could have, and I wish I would have known that before." she said. Not that she was really complaining, because she wasn't.

"Yeah, well, I erm - yeah. Me too," Dean agreed before he decided that he really was going to have to learn to talk again, because this couldn't carry on and she liked him and she was Thia, for fuck's sake and he was being all fall-over-himself nervous when the nervous bit had been and gone, surely and he needed to be able to do this. He took a moment or two before he started again. "When?" he asked her. "I mean, I got the feeling that there was a 'maybe' there, just before - yeah, well, before we left Marquette, but I - I know it wasn't always like that so..."

Lullaby didn't actually have to think about that. She knew it really really well, after all. "Well I've always thought you were amazing and awesome and everything and you know that, I've told you. But when I had to just...blink and try and give myself a good talking to about how I was and was not allowed to look at my best friend? It was when the shadows were attacking us. Kinda...out in the woods, when you were just...being--" she broke off because she didn't have words for that. Her tone, however supplied some more backing to her feelings, in a manner that suggested she'd been pretty blindsided by 'hot'. "And the kicker was when we went upstairs. We were in your room, and you'd got out of the shower and I'd been reloading all the clips..." she told him, really vividly recalling this of course. It was going to stand out in her memory pretty much forever. "And I was meant to patch you up, and you had these little cuts, and..." she bit her lower lip, looking away and then she reached up to clap her free hand over her face. "I'm weird! I know it! Let's just get that out of the way right now! But that's when I just about died because I couldn't kiss you, I wanted to so bad."

That was new. And unexpected. And Dean really didn't know how he felt about that. A little confused, maybe, because he wasn't entirely sure what she was saying because what he'd been being out in those woods was very definitely 'on guard'. And killing things when they came at them and... And if that's what she found attractive about him, then - then he really didn't know how to feel about that, or what to say about it. And whilst he knew he had to answer that, there weren't words coming that would let him do that.

Silence was bad. So she peeked around her hand at him for a moment, and just looked at him, and stayed quiet herself. That, before she sat back a bit. "...I'm sorry..." she said, squinting one eye shut as she tried to determine if she could see lines or not. But it was too dark to really pick them out. Which would mean she'd have to try and sense a kickup in energy around him, and that was harder to do unless she was curled up with him. Silence was definitely not good, especially to someone who tended to flail and then begin filling it up when it stretched out too long. "It was just...it's hard to explain, and everything but you were just...you were protecting everyone and you were really really focused and you sort of have this air about you when you get focused like that and it's just really really attractive, and it was like you never wavered. You just...everything was lined up the way you knew how to best and you were taking care of everything, and granted, that didn't mean I wasn't insanely worried about you the whole time but you know I was anyways and everything but there was just something there, just this level of you that only comes out during times like that, and because I was pretty much useless and having to sit back and just watch, I got to really, really look at it all for the first time, and you in that context, and...you were just being my---our hero. And it looks good on you." Which she'd sort of told him that day, if she recalled. Not that he'd really listened or anything, but that wasn't quite the point.

Dean considered this for a moment or two. "It... it was the protection?" he asked, his voice just loud enough for her to hear. He knew he got like that, of course, he just hadn't ever actually imagined that it would be anything that someone would or could find attractive. But then again, he rarely actively thought of himself in those terms anyhow. But he couldn't deny that he knew that he got like that, very focused, very in the moment when his habit of overthinking everything just took a break for a while and raw determination took over. "But - you... You hate it when I get like that. You tell me off and everything," he added in as it occurred to him.

Lullaby bit her lip and had to give herself a second to push back the insanely worried feeling that had settled into her stomach, which really wasn't going away right now. "It's not--" she started. Then she sighed and dragged her fingers through her hair, finding all sorts of things interesting that weren't him. Like the wall behind him, fascinating, that was. "It's not just that. It plays in--that's part of it, but it's just you. It's how you get when things are like that. You just..." she tried to think of a way to describe it to him, but she was starting to come up at a loss, mostly because she was thinking she was just digging herself deeper, and really probably ruining things before they even got started. That was sheer fucking talent, wasn't it. "Most of the time, you're so careful with everything. We...we even talked about it the other day. You don't do anything without thinking about it, thinking it through, making sure whatever it is you're doing is right or...whatever it is you do. Justification. But when things are like that you just...let go." she landed on. "You don't have to do any of that, you just act. And it's always...I don't know, I'm probably making no sense. I'm sorry." She paused for a moment, before she got to his last bit. "I never said that I like being treated like a princess in a tower. That doesn't mean that I don't like your intentions. Or that I don't appreciate everything, or that it would make you un-attractive. You just get told off when you want to hide me away or keep me someplace that isn't with you. Because that's where I want to be, when anything's happening. With you." she was back to looking down, tugging at the bells on her ankle again. "Besides, you're not the only one who's capable, and the downside to you dropping into crisis mode is that you forget to look after yourself. So...I do."

Dean listened, and felt some of the confused, uncomfortable feelings subside. Because he'd been worried that she meant something else. He'd been worried that what she found attractive in him was his ability to destroy and that would have just been horrific and ruined everything for him, just when he had what he wanted within reach, but the more she talked, the more it became apparent that that wasn't the case. "C'mere," he said, pulling her towards him and wrapping his arms loosely around her. "I like that you look after me, you always do it so well," he told her. "Fact, you're kind of, well, basically, the only person who can. I'm not really good at listening to people, but you just... ignore me." And, strangely, that worked for them - he needed that. "And I know I'm not the only one who's capable and... I learned, with the shadows. I shouldn't ever be. I just... I want you there, here, wherever - with me. Too." He quirked a little smile. "You might have noticed I kind of like having you around..."

She got pulled over, and didn't fight him on it--but it was actually kind of a nearish thing. She almost resisted, because she still was feeling like she'd done something wrong, or said something wrong, and now everything was messed up. And she heard him--really she did. There were words, and he was making full sentences out of them and everything, but it was a little harder to derail her from her spiked up fear that things had gotten fucked up. She even actually tried to concentrate to monitor the lines that might or might not be kicked up around him, tried to feel the energy if it was there. Even if it was cheating, at the moment she would take it if it told her anything. Such as the level of damage done. She could have also just answered his trailed off statement, and she sort of half nodded, keeping quiet for about half a minute before she came out with it. "Did I say the wrong thing?" she asked. "Did I mess everything up?" Her eyes were out ahead of them on the grass, in the shadows, even if she wasn't really paying attention to what she was looking at.

"I..." Should have just gone with kissing the girl and not gone into any of this, Dean filled in for himself, but he knew that that had never really been an option. Well, okay, it had heavily crossed his mind what with the ZOMG!physical of it all, but it would have taken something away from it and it wouldn't have been them. "No, I just - got the wrong end of the stick, except not really because I wouldn't have thought, but I didn't quite understand what you meant and then you explained it and what I was confused about I didn't need to and... So, let's just - doesn't matter, okay? You didn't mess anything up, it's just... me being me. We've already established I'm stupid, right?" he said, trying to turn it round into joking, because he knew what came next and what came next was her telling him that, no, he wasn't getting away with not fully explaining and he didn't know how to say this without her getting offended that he'd think like that about her and then it would all go horribly wrong and it was just destined that he was never meant to have her, wasn't it? Only destiny had a fucking sick sense of humour and continually dangled her in front of him and then snatched her away again. Bastard.

She listened, and predictably, wasn't especially happy with him giving the blowoff answer. So, she made a face, and looked at him. "You're not stupid." she said first, and wondered vaguely in the back of her mind just how many times she'd said that to him. He insisted he was, she maintained the position that he wasn't. And really, she hadn't seen reason to give up her stance on that, and wasn't going to start now just because it would make things easier. It wasn't really how this worked. Not with them. "It matters to me." was what she wound up saying, and she left it at that.

He couldn't leave it at that, he knew, because then it would always be there, but at least he had a chance to try and not fuck this up. He was done taking the outs now, he could be properly honest with her and he should start doing that. "Bear with me on this, okay?" he checked, first. "I... You know me. You know I... Have this terrible habit of taking things in relation to me the worst way possible and - and I'm working on that, but... Right now certain... parts of that are kicked right up because - because of what happened. And, when you said, I mean - and that's not to think that honestly and rationally I think this about you at all, but I'm... my head's kind of, well, not kind of, definitely and totally screwed up right now and I was, confused and afraid and there was that whole - the way you put it and... That you meant that what you liked was..." He looked down, suddenly intent on the ground and it took him a few moments just to get the words out to finish that. "...Me, killing things." He swallowed, feeling that pit open up again, not in relation to her, per se, just in relation to the idea of the possibility and the fact it brought to the forefront of his mind everything he'd done and he didn't want that right now. He looked back up at her. "And, like I said - I don't really think that, but... I'm sorry, I... That was all. It was just... A thing."

She listened, watching him, and she didn't have to see the lines anymore to figure they were there. She waited for a few moments to after he'd finished, just to be sure he was done before she tried to formulate an answer. What she did do was shift and hug him. Because it seemed like he needed one at the moment, so...he got one. "I'm sorry my wording wasn't very good." she said first, voice quiet. "I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I wouldn't--that's not ever--" she started, then abandoned attempts. What bothered her, lingering in the wake of everything else was he said that he didn't think that, and all, but obviously, he had. He'd needed it explained to him, so...it had been there. Or it was there, she didn't know. Maybe not anymore, now that she had told him what she meant, but...she didn't know. So she just hugged him and didn't say anything further on it, not even sure what she would say.

Dean hugged her close for a moment, then drew back enough that he could see her face, brushing a strand of hair away, just because he could. "You didn't make me feel like that, Thia - I did. Me and my fucked up brain, not you. Me and my... Self-destructive tendency to... I've wanted this for so long and there's part of me that's just waiting for this to just... I..." He broke off, not sure whether he could say what he wanted to. That he needed her, that he'd been so worried about this because he didn't know what he'd do if it fucked up. Even though she'd already said that she wasn't going anywhere, that he wouldn't lose her, what if he did? And could he say that or would that just be an unbelievable amount of pressure to put on someone. And he didn't want to be another boyfriend that she had to look after. "I don't want to screw this up, Thia and I'm so afraid it's going to screw up and..." And he needed to be stronger than this, he knew that, he just didn't know how to be right now. He looked down and took a breath, steadying himself before he looked back at her, not sure what else to say there, if there was anything. Waiting to see what her reaction would be.

She watched his eyes as well as she could in the dark they currently occupied. This was one of those moments. She'd had them before, where she'd wished she could just kiss him. Calm him down a little, ease things down for him before they continued to talk. And...well. She could, now, couldn't she? So, she did. She reached up, she put her palm to his cheek, and turned his face towards hers. Then she brushed a soft, light kiss over his lips, not wanting to do too much just in case. "You're not going to screw anything up." she told him, tone confident in that. "And we always have little issues but we always figure them out, too. We...you and I..." she tried to think of a good way to word it that was both truthful but didn't sound stupid at the same time. "We fit. We even each other out, and neither one of us is afraid to communicate, even when it isn't all nice and shiny and everything. We talk through all the hard stuff too. And that's a good thing. But it's also a failsafe. It's just...we already work. Us together, we make sense. Our relationship is really, really strong and I don't see anything changing that." Funny, how she was just worried a few minutes ago that she'd fucked everything up and was now perfectly confident that he wouldn't, that it would be okay. So, she actually incorporated that with a little ghost of a smile. "And I figure we'll both be a little flaily over things for a bit and stuff, but...again we work, we'll get there. I don't let things slide and you don't either. So...let's just not change that, and we'll be fine." She smiled a slightly better smile at him. "...and just keep in mind that you'll have to remind me of the exact same thing occasionally."

Dean's heart skipped a little as she kissed him, not actually used to the fact that that was a possibility now and he leaned into it, disappointed when she broke off, leaving him hanging in the darkness until the word 'relationship' filtered through and jumpstarted him again. "I love you," he told her, feeling that it was time that was finally actually said. Now that he didn't have to worry about the repercussions of that, of the fact that the emotion behind that sounded in his voice, of the fact that he didn't mean it in any base friendship kind of a way.

Hearing that...well. Shocked was a good word. Totally and utterly blindsided was an accurate phrase. It felt like her heart might have quit on her for a moment too, the moment surreal to her in a way, almost like she was watching it happen to someone else. She was left watching his eyes, ticking her gaze back and forth between his eyes. He did? He loved her? Really? And she could tell that he didn't mean it in the friends-manner. No, that much was pretty damn clear. She shifted closer to him, hand back up to his cheek, even if it had initially gone to rest on his shoulder. A few different things went through her mind. It was hard to know what to say, though. or, it was until she latched onto her end of it. "I love you too." she told him. "Have been...I...I've been in love with you for a while." she admitted, a smile spreading over her lips. It was a little shy, but genuine. And she'd loved him before then, it had just changed. which was why she'd felt the need to put it to him like that. in love. Those specific words.

He needed the clarification, because he'd known about the love part before, but this - this was something which he hadn't known, hadn't even suspected. Sure, he'd thought that maybe he was in with a chance, but the depth of her feelings for him he wouldn't have even hazarded at that. And he had no answer to it, the words he had been going to say - that he didn't expect to hear it back - dying on his lips. He looked at her for a moment and then kissed her, not the brush she'd given him before, but properly, deeply, pulling her up into his lap as he did so.

Lullaby was good for that being the end of the conversation for the moment. She was still internally dealing with the whole declaration of love thing, and kissing him back like the world might be ending? That seemed like a really effective way to work through it. She was a fan. Shifting on his lap, her arms were around his neck, fingers threadding into his hair. The back of her mind was helpfully reminding her of all the times she'd been yelling at herself, telling herself that she was behaving very strangely, considering she was not by nature a hormone-driven girl. But right now that logic was taking a back seat, because she was just going with it. Forgetting everything else, and kissing him like she was never going to get to again. It was Dean, and Dean just apparently did that to her. And right now? She didn't have to fight down urges anymore.

He held her close to him, running his fingers up into her hair, his other hand at the small of her back as he slipped it to rest just under her shirt as his eyes drifted closed. For once in his life, he didn't have to overthink things, everything became really very simple and all about the girl in his lap. Nothing else mattered right now.

Her world was pretty damn focused down as well. She wasn't thinking about anything else. Not where they were, not what brought them there in the first place, not anything. Lullaby just threw all of her concentration into kissing him. Feeling him, letting herself go with it. And, because it had elicited a reaction before, when she had to pull back from it slightly to breathe, she grazed her teeth over his bottom lip again.

Dean looked at her, eyes heavy and dark as she pulled back and he let her do that for the moment it took for them both to take a breath before he was kissing her again, not ready to stop that yet. Talking was all well and good, but right here and now, this was where he wanted to be, she didn't get to pull away yet.

Seeing that look in his eyes did things to her. She was already keyed up, but that look? Just that, that in and of itself seemed to spread heat through her system. God, could he do that all the time? She'd be good with that, really she would. That was the kind of look that got people into massive trouble, and she could tell already it would with her. It made her want to drag him off someplace private--or possibly let him drag her off, that was a fully acceptable scenario as well. It cut through a few issues in her own head for the time being, doubts she had about herself in relation to any kind of desirable connotations. And while sure, they'd come back at some point, for the moment, she felt like none of it mattered to him. Like she was wanted. The effect that had on her was she pushed herself closer, and her fingers tightened a little in his hair. All like she couldn't quite get close enough, which could possibly have been a direct reflection of how she felt in that moment in time.

He pulled her closer as she did that, if that were at all possible, dropping his hand from her hair to rest between her shoulderblades and sliding his other hand up under her shirt following into the curve of her spine, wanting nothing else but her right now, feeling her, tasting her, getting lost in her. The night had a touch of chill to it, but he didn't feel it, nor the hardness of the concrete beneath him. His world was just her right now, here in the darkness, that was all there was.

When he did that, a violent shiver ripped up her spine in the wake of his touch, not a bad thing at all. He got a sound from her as well, a soft one, breathed into the kiss. So, her fantasy life had really not prepared her for any reality involving making out with Dean. Because even the little things, that light touch up her spine, that did all sorts of things to her, and...yeah. Lullaby was very fond of the idea of exploring this out for a long, long time. Letting him explore, doing her own. He just happened to be at a better vantage for that at current. Which really she was all kinds of good with. She'd get her turn sometime here. In fact if they took ages and ages to do that, she was fine with that too.

Okay, sounds were good and Dean smiled a little into the kiss in response as he curled his fingers round slightly, tracing a little more as he continued to explore her spine, feeling round the odd little bump here and there. He trailed about half way up her spine, before going back down again, tracing his fingers back and forth over the patch of skin where he imagined his tattoo would be. Just there. He wanted to see that before she got it done, to lay her out and kiss it and... Yeah, he had all of these plans right now, ones he'd thought of before, but now - now they didn't just have to be in his head anymore.

She shivered again, the cool air against her skin along with his touch helping all that out. He also got another soft little sound. That, right before she pushed against him. Just a light little push, but there, not something she fully really thought out before she did it. But if he was going to have her on his lap, and was going to be doing things that made her want to push closer--well, that was just going to happen, now wasn't it?

He needed to breathe at some point, he was aware of this, but he didn't particularly want to stop any time soon. Especially not with her moving like that which was really drawing his attention to the growing tightness in his jeans and he pushed up, flexing his hips a little, a natural, instinctive reaction - though, in all honesty, he didn't exactly try and curb that at all as he finally had to break off, drawing back just enough to take a ragged breath before tilting his head and kissing his way along her jawline.

Breathing--yeah, that was necessary. And she still voted that it was overrated, and should be able to be suspended for important things like kissing. But she drew in a breath as he broke the kiss, breath hitching as she did so. Especially as he pushed back up against her. That she liked. She tilted her head to the side to give him the access he wanted to her neck, as she pushed against him again, thinking again that she needed useful abilities. Teleportation would be cool around now. Just...blip them someplace that was else. Like his room back in Marquette. The house would be empty. It'd be just the two of them...that sounded like such a good idea right now.

Dean slid a hand down her back and round to rest on her hip as he kissed down the coloumn of her neck, his other hand still in the small of her back, aware of the fact that he could just lower her backwards and down to the ground right now. That'd be interesting. Cold and kind of dirty, but defintiely interesting and was that allowed and should he stop this and take her home? But home seemed like such a damn long way away right now and his parents were there and they might actually still be up and how far was he going with this anyway and how far would she let him go with this and how'd he got here in the first place and... He tuned it all out - thinking was definitely overrated right now.

He wasn't necessarily the only one wondering how far things were going to go here. In her mind, however, it was a really vague, distant sort of thought. Nothing of consequence, definitely nothing that was going to derail her. Not when he was doing what he was and she was so completely distracted from everything else. She tilted her head back for a few moments as he kissed along her neck, past the choker there, and she had the insane urge to just reach up and pull it off. Which became reality about two seconds after she had the urge, because there was no real reason not to. So, she reached up and tugged the tie at the back of her neck, letting it drop down...wherever it landed. She'd find it again...later. Some indeterminate amount of time from now that she couldn't be bothered to care about.

He pulled back as she fumbled at her neck, then realise what she was doing as he felt the material of her choker brush his chin as she removed it. And, after she'd done that, how could he not give her neck all due attention, though he did start with the side that wasn't scarred, tilting her back just a little so that she was balanced completely on his hands and hips and he was arced over her rather more.

The fingers of one hand drifted back into the hair at the back of his head, holding him to her while the other grasped his shoulder. She made another soft little pleased sound, that she really didn't have any idea she made. The attention he was giving her she was highly appreciative of. She was aware it was cool out, but she was feeling flushed, overheated by now. Which really, wasn't a surprise because her heart was beating at a hundred miles an hour. She was getting the urge to yank him back up to kiss him properly again, but didn't quite yet.

Oh yeah, he was a big, big fan of those little noises and he nuzzled the underside of her jaw as he kissed at her neck, moving over from the side to her throat and towards the scar that was there. He slowed then, hesitating a little before laying a single kiss on the edge of the scar, his eyes rising toward her face as he did so, almost questioning, wondering again if that was allowed, if there were going to be places on her he wasn't allowed to go. He didn't want that, she was her, he loved her, he wanted to be able to love all of her.

She looked back at him, eyes ticking between his for a moment, before there was the lightest of smiles that lit her lips. She gave him the barest of nods, the slightest little acknowledgement that yes, it was okay. In fact, she was kind of...curious about it. She was sensitive about her scars, but she'd never really felt the need to hide them from him. He was allowed to see them. And now? He was allowed to touch them. It wasn't as if it was the first time she'd ever desired that. When they'd been in his closet, when they'd been talking about the scars across her chest...she'd wanted him to. She'd really, really wanted him to. And she wondered if she could share that with him or not, if it would make her really strange, or if he'd want an explanation when she didn't have one for herself, even.

He caught the nod and lowered his head, kissing carefully, taking his time, wondering if this was somehow weird, that he wanted to do this, or whether she'd not even realise why he wanted to do this. He knew she'd always been sensitive about her scars, always tried to hide them from people, but he didn't want her to hide anything from him - that wasn't how they worked. Her scars, to him, were simply a part of her, most of them, anyway. He knew that there were some that he didn't quite view that way, that were something else, that there was something deeper he couldn't put his finger on and didn't quite understand, but for now, he was here and he'd slowed right down for this.

The change in pace of things was immediate there, and her eyes slid shut as she drew in a shuddery breath. Her grip on him got a little tighter, and she pushed herself closer, but she was really just taking a moment to feel that. It felt very sensitive to her. Sensitive, and he was paying very careful attention to things. It was appreciated, on all sorts of levels. Physical, of course, but mental and emotional as well. It meant something to her. Another soft, barely audible sound escaped her, mostly an exhale with the slightest bit of a hum to it.

One day he'd have to ask her if she could hear the sounds she was making, because, yeah... But today was definitely not that day as he lifted her a little higher on his hips and let her drop a little further towards horizontal on his hands and lowered his head, moving away from the vampire bite scar and trailing kisses down into the depression at the base of her throat, his cheek brushing against the zip of her hoodie.

The cool air against her skin as he left the trail along it gave her pleasant goosebumps, and she automatically reached up to tug her zipper down, to get it out of his way, and that was really when she started thinking about just how far things were going to go here. Because really, it couldn't go that far. Even if she wanted it to. God did she want it to. But they were outside, in...where were they? She had no idea. But it was outside. And outside not in the middle of the woods like back home. Outside like...yeah it was different. And yet her zipper got pulled down anyways. She'd just keep in mind that there would eventually need to be a stop point. Sure. That was her theory.

Dean made a pleased sort of humming noise as she did that, kissing further down until he actually met the neck of her t-shirt where he paused, torn between wanting to go on and knowing that his hands were currently very much engaged with holding her off the ground and not with, say, pulling off her hoodie and pushing her t-shirt up, which had an unbelievable charm to it right now, though probably less 'charm' and maybe overwhelming 'want'. He stopped and looked up at her, knowing they were at a point here, a decision was really going to have to be made and they both needed to make it.

She looked back at him, and could tell there was the decision to be made. She didn't especially want to, she wanted to not think about anything right now. She let out a little frustrated growl, that followed by a little laugh, and a smile at him as she grabbed him and kissed him again. "I'm pretty sure we need to sort of...not be right here right now." she said, adding another kiss after she said it. Because the word 'stop' really was a bad one, and she didn't especially want to. She wanted to continue, damnit. It just really couldn't happen right here. And back at his parent's place...gah. Grr grr grrrrrr.

Dean returned the kiss before pulling her back up to a sitting position and resting his forehead against hers. "It's not fair - why couldn't I have had a useful psychic ability? Like teleportation or... something," he said with a smile, before giving her a little kiss. "I - yeah, we should probably... Go." There was another kiss there. "Back to the house." Another kiss. "Or... something." And pray my parents are already in bed and we don't have to stay and make small talk, Dean thought to himself, which raised the question again of how far this was going to go, since they had that huge bed and everything...

Thia kept kissing him back, and when he stopped talking, she drew it out, let it linger. That, and she nibbled at his bottom lip just a little before she added to the whole speaking thing. Talking! Right. "I was thinking that exact same thing earlier..." she said, and decided to keep giving him little kisses while she was at it too. So, her speech was broken, punctuated with more little kisses. "Because I would really rather just...blip someplace else...and..." she drew the kiss she gave him then out longer too. She wasn't very good at not kissing him, apparently. "...think your parents'll be asleep?" God, could they be, please? She so wasn't of a mind to make nice with his parents when all she really wanted to do was drag their son someplace dark and comfortable and continue right where they left off here.

"I really, really hope so," Dean breathed against her, his voice just loud enough for her to hear. Because they really couldn't stay here - it was fine so far, but Dean knew if things got much further then, yeah - he wasn't an exhibitionist and for all that there was nobody around at the moment, they were really very exposed if someone decided to go for a late night walk. Hell, in years gone by he'd been the person going for a late night walk who'd happened across people around this park and, yeah - they should be leaving.

That got a smile from her, and a light little exhaled laugh. She gave him a few more kisses, letting the last one linger again before she reluctantly pulled back. "Okay. We'll head back, and hope your parents aren't awake, and...if they are we can say that I'm not feeling so well?" she suggested, smirking faintly. She didn't want this whole thing interrupted. She wanted to be spending time with him. Just him, to do whatever they wanted to be doing. Like making out like there's no tomorrow. And whatever else happened. She still didn't know, and she wasn't inclined to make a decision here.

Dean wasn't willing to commit to that excuse, because his mind was going in all sorts of interesting directions that would clearly put paid to that lie, though if she wanted to give that that possibly meant that none of that was at all a possibility, but still he didn't really want to rule that out or anything so he just pulled her to her feet, not answering as such as started her to the exit of the park, walking faster than they'd been coming here, trying to subtly adjust himself in his jeans as they went, hoping she didn't really notice that, because, well - okay, they'd been all close and there'd been pushing and... everything, but still, he wasn't sure how that'd be taken.

Lullaby was all kinds of good with walking faster, happy to rush back to his parent's place, so they could...figure whatever out. She did happen to catch what he was doing, and while she blushed, she also couldn't help the bright grin that lit her features, even if she didn't say anything about it. It was just there, and she had to admit that that made her feel pretty good. It wasn't like knowing she'd affected him really soundly was a bad thing.

Dean headed them in the front door and, typically, there was the quiet sound of the TV in the other room - someone was still up. He pulled Thia in and gave her a little kiss before pushing her towards the stairs. "Go on up, I'll just go and say goodnight and I'll be up in a moment," he told her, just loud enough for her to hear.

She didn't hear the television, but hey, if Dean had this covered, she was all kinds of good with that, and she did just what he told her to--she ran upstairs as quietly as she could, and got into the room they were sharing. She ditched her hoodie right away, and then froze--totally unable to recall if she had left her choker in the park, not that it mattered she had others, but hey, that was a close call. And then of course came the decision of what now. She wound up sitting on the bed, kicking her shoes off and tugging her socks off with them. God, what was going to happen? And could it happen soon? She hoped his niceties with the parents were short.

They were - Dean appeared a few minutes later, slipping in through the bedroom door and closing it firmly behind him. Hell, right now he would have locked it if that were actually possible, but it wasn't, so he just settled for leaning back against it for a moment as he looked at her, suddenly unaccountably nervous, but in that excited kind of a way.

She perked right up when he came in, and she looked back at him. She was nervous too, those butterflies in her stomach back in full force. Waiting for a few long moments, she gazed at him, and then she pushed herself up to her feet, crossed the distance to him, and looked up at him. She smiled, a sort of mixture between shyish and excited at the same time, which fit her mood perfectly. Pushing herself up on her tiptoes, she reached up to grab a handfull of his shirt, to tug him down to meet her, and she kissed him. It was a brush of a kiss, something that she just barely parted her lips for, something she didn't want to rush. Something he could take where he wanted.

Dean returned the kiss, slipping his arms around her as he'd done so many times in the past, but tonight it meant so much more. His positioning was different, as he wasn't so concerned with keeping his hands in purely friends-appropriate places and he took the opportunity to side his palms down her sides as he encircled her, pulling her to him, slipping one hand back under the hem of her t-shirt to once again rest in the small of her back.

She liked that. She definitely decided she was a fan, the whole...touching her bare skin thing. Even in little ways, it was still something she really liked, that she appreciated. She kissed him more firmly, but didn't push it too much, and then she recognized something. She was in a much better position here to do something. Reaching up with her free hand, she let her fingertips venture beneath the bottom of his shirt, to slide against his stomach.

Dean decided that that was a nice thing - but then he was a fan of those little touches of hers, she could do that all she wanted. He tilted his head a little more and kissed her rather more deeply, wondering if they could recapture what they'd had back out at the field, without making it seem like he was gunning for whatever had been back there, or whether that would just get her backing off. He didn't really know what was okay in this kind of a situation and he was still terrified of fucking up.

She liked the deeper kiss, and even if he already had her pulled against him and the like, she pushed closer in. She let her fingertips trail up, towards his chest, before she quickly slid them back down til they hit the top of his jeans. The one thing she wasn't doing at the moment was overthinking things. She wasn't thinking anymore about how far things were going to go, she didn't have any set plans on anything, she just...wanted to be taking her time with him. And as far as she knew, they had it. The only real concern she did have? Was if they continued things, if she made sounds? She might not know how loud they were. But was distant at the moment, not quite so important. Definitely not a concern she was going to be wasting time thinking about while she was kissing him.

Dean broke the kiss off to take a breath, drawing back enough to look at her, his normally green eyes dark and needy. His tongue flickered out to dampened his lips, or possibly to see if he could taste her on them - he didn't overthink the gesture, or consider it at all as he looked down at her, very aware in the back of his mind of the bed not so far away. And the annoying kid brother in the room next door who was very likely to get himself very dead if he decided to bug right now. Dean kept her eyes for a moment, then leaned in once more to brush a soft kiss against her lips, trailing a hand round to rest on her waist beneath her top, slightly higher up than it had been, but not as high as he'd got before.

She looked back at him and decided that little thing he did with his tongue--and she'd seen it before--was stupidly compelling. It was just the tiniest little thing, too. But then, Dean was best at that. Doing tiny, little things that were totally effortless and were stupidly hot. Like lounging, or leaning against things or looking generally mildly injured or focused, or--it was the little things. She definitely didn't mind when his hand drifted higher. Hers traced along the tops of his jeans and back, then drifted up, finding the edge of the scar she knew was there. The match to hers, the one she had touched before, and knew exactly where it started and ended.

Dean felt it when she touched the edge of his scar and he found himself trailing his hand around to match the movement, all the time holding her gaze, silently, his mouth slightly open as he breathed.

She looked back at him, and lightly started to trace along the scar, fascinated by his eyes right now. The looks he was giving her, what was behind them. The feelings they sparked up in her. All of that was compelling, all of it was something she was going to hold onto, remember. She made the tracing really slow, not wanting to rush that, since she wanted to see all the little nuances on his face, and he didn't seem to be giving her the impression she should stop.

Dean followed her lead, tracing up the scar as she did the same to him. It was the weirdest feeling, he decided. Not unpleasant - just... trippy to feel on yourself what you could feel under your fingertips on someone else. Strangely compelling in a way that he wasn't entirely examining right now. The scar curved round in an arch, starting just below the band of her jeans and up, moving in towards her spine, then back out again. He wondered for a moment if he'd brush against her bra, but didn't and then found himself stroking his fingers lightly against the end of the scar and slowly questing upwards, feeling out for that elusive piece of material, all the while with his eyes on her, waiting for her to tell him not to.

She followed the scar as he did, and she too was thinking it was the strangest thing--but not at all in any way shape or form a bad thing. God, no. And it was something that she'd never ever share with anyone else, either. It was unique to the two of them. When he started to slide his hand upwards, she smiled, the bare hint of it on her lips. She wasn't going to tell him to stop. Hell no. She did want to do something else, which she didn't know if it would interrupt him or not...then figured it only would for just a second. So she went with her urge. Which was to reach up, and start to tug his shirt off of him. She hadn't spent near enough time with him when he had his shirt off, or so she decided right this moment.

Dean jerked his hand back as thought he'd done something wrong as she started to pull at him. Until it filtered into his head that she was actually taking his shirt off, which.... God, she could so totally do! In fact, he had entire fantasies that just revolved around that very action and... okay, possibly more than just that very action, but they started there and she could just so go with that and he lifted his arms enough to help her out with the lack of clothes thing.

She pulled his shirt off, which she'd gotten to do the one time before, but now she didn't have to tell herself she couldn't do anything that went after that. Because now? Well. She probably could. She dropped his shirt off to the side then put her arms up around his neck, pulling him down towards her again, pressing herself against him as she decided now was the time to kiss him again. This one was a little more urgent, just a tiny bit harder than their last kiss. Nothing to completely change the tone of what they were up to, but basically? Enough to articulate the fact that she wanted him.

That he hadn't really expected. Not that it was a bad thing - having her press up against him and kiss him like that could never classify as a Bad Thing - but still, it just... He didn't know, he hadn't thought - but... Good thing. Good. And he was going with it and he was being kissed and there was definitely kisses and god. He almost lifted her bodily off the floor as he took a step forward, pressing into her as he returned the kiss, sliding his hand back up to where he'd just removed it from and following the lacy edge of her bra round to the front, skirting the underside of her breast and hesitating between them, his other hand still at the base of her spine, holding her to him.

Lullaby pressed into his touch, encouraging him. Really right now, he could kind of do anything he wanted. She was all for exploring things out here, and after so long thinking that he wanted absolutely nothing to do with her? Any kind of initiative he showed? She was going to make damn sure he got the message that it was more than acceptable. Yes, she was all about that. All about it indeed. She also liked when he took that step forward, and was aware that it was one bity step closer to the bed. It was possible she shouldn't be thinking like that, but she was, and she wasn't stopping to think about it either.

He felt like a blind man feeling his way step by step, but her encouragement helped and he was so very tuned into that at that moment. He leaned in, kissing her once again as he slipped his hand sideways, cupping one of her breasts above the lace of her bra, sliding his thumb down and around over the surface, drawing on his incredibly limited experience to hope that it would be good for her.

She made a soft little sound, and arched more into his touch, pushing up on her toes. Yes, she definitely wanted to encourage him. With her arms up around his neck, she leaned back a bit, wanting to take another step back towards the bed, but she wasn't actually going to pull apart from him to do it. There was that thrilled, nervous sort of energy going through her system at the moment, and she was just going with whatever it felt right to do at the time, and not considering consequences. At least, not just yet. She might later, but currently she was far too busy, and her thought processes were run over with the physical ones.

Okay, so - more little sounds. And Dean was definitely one to be drawn on by little sounds as he ran his thumb back up and over her breast once more, back and forth, taking his time over it whilst his other hand pushed up at her top, just enough to indicate that he'd like to reciprocate with the whole derobing thing, but enough to let her decide it wasn't what she wanted. Though, really, if she decided that right now, no - he definitely wasn't getting any sleep tonight...

Lullaby didn't mind the whole shirt thing. After all, it was only fair, right? Sure it was. So she shifted, helping him with it, and she dropped hers down...well, somewhere on the floor where she promptly forgot all about it. She was back to him right away, really kind of just wanting to feel his skin against hers, and hey, she could do that now. And when she did, pressing back against him, she found that it wasn't at all disappointing. It was kind of a soft, yet electric sort of feeling, something that made goosebumps rise up on her skin lightly, and made her want to shiver.

Dean's world was constructed of rules. Of what one should and shouldn't do, of behaviour, and conduct. And right now he was spacing on all of that as he stared down at her breasts encased in their covering of blue lace in some kind of trace as he watched his hand slip over them, saw his skin press up against hers, ran his eyes over the straps as they travelled up and over her shoulders, out of sight and he went with his instinct, which was to drop his head and kiss her collarbone, nuzzling her jawline with the top of his head.

She drew in a breath, and let it out slowly as he did that. He was allowed. She was good with this. Also, she took a step back, pulling him with her, since her lean back hadn't gotten them closer to the bed yet, and she wanted that one step closer. So she made it blatant, pulled him back with her. She didn't take more than the one step, but still. It was closer. To bedness. She liked that idea. She also liked him just kind of doing things. Yep. Initiative, there was a ton to be said about it.

He went with the step, then, because momentum was a cool and shiny excuse of a thing, he took them another couple of steps more, his head still nuzzling into her neck as he kissed along the skin there, his nose pushing against the strap of her bra, as though he could actually push it out of the way that way, even though he knew he couldn't.

Yay! More steps! How fucking far could the bed be, anyways? Not far now. She had a nervous thrill when he pushed at her bra strap. While she was perfectly happy for him to get rid of that, she did have a momentary stab of doubt, that maybe she just wasn't attractive, it wasn't like she had much of a chest to begin with...was it going to crash and burn? Was he suddenly going to realize that she wasn't actually attractive? And yet she didn't stop him at all. It was just a fear in the back of her mind, and weirdly, her response was to hold onto him tighter.

She didn't try to stop him and so, he just kept on going until the edge of the bed stopped them. And then he stopped, drawing back a little and looking at her, obscenely aware of the bed behind them now. And the fact that she wasn't wearing a huge amount and actually taking in the sight of her bra-clad form for the first time, running her eyes across her body - and then up to her face because he was him and even he occasionally retained that much of his sense of self not to do that. He lowered his hand, resting them on her hips, pushing back ever so slightly - not enough to truly off-balance her, but enough to encourage her down if that was where she wanted to be.

She looked back up at him, watching his eyes, and she felt really exposed. But she didn't see anything like...badness cross his features, so she was counting it as a good thing. What else was a good thing? Being encouraged back onto the bed. That she was absolutely enamored with. That she was all about, all for. So she went, sliding her hands down his shoulders down his arms, so when she was sat down properly, she tugged him along with her, wanting him to follow--however he happened to want to.

The way she pulled him, it was a natural follow on to lean over her, to climb up onto the bed over her, pulling her back just a little, repositioning her to a place that worked better, thinking no more of it than he ever had done before in changing her position, though the driving force right now was very different as he kissed her once more, pressing her down into the mattress, both trying to keep the fullness of his weight off her yet also pressing into her at the same time.

She as usual, didn't mind being moved around. And this time? It was all so very compelling. Really, if he wanted to make a habit of that? She'd be good with it. Very good. She'd be happy little Thia with that. She kissed him back, one of her knees drifting up alongside his hip. One arm was up along his shoulder, towards his hair, where she drifted her fingers into it. Her other hand, well, that ghosted down his side, and traced down along the crescent of his scar, only when she got to the bottom edge of it, she didn't stop, she let her fingertips slide down past the tops of his jeans.

Dean ran his hand firmly up her side as he pressed her down into the bed, running purely off of instinct and not at all off of thought as he reached her breast again and, this time, pushed up underneath her bra, lifting the material up and out of the way, vaguely aware that there was probably a clasp at the back somewhere that rumour had it he would find impossible to open, so! he was saving himself the job and just pushing it up instead.

When he pressed down, she made a sound. It was a little louder than the other's she'd made since they started this sort of thing, something low in her throat, and at least this time she was aware of it. She pushed back up against him, also an action that she didn't think through, or wonder about the implications of. When he pushed her bra out of the way, she reached up with the hand she'd had around his neck to tug it up and off to the side, not necessarily removing it entirely, but it wasn't on-on anymore. She could finish getting it off of her other arm in a while. A time that was distinctly not right now. She also took the time to kiss at the underside of his jaw, down his neck, sucking a little as his skin as she did so.

Dean lifted his head a little, stretching the column of his neck more, so she could do that to her heart's content, because, yeah - she could... Honestly, she could do anything she wanted right now with him and she wouldn't get a word of complaint. He gave her a moment before he kicked back in, lifting her properly onto the bed now, going with her so that they were no longer half dangling on the floor, but were properly laid out, attempting to totally remove her bra on the way, because, yeah, if she was good with that, it was completely unwanted, really it was.

She grabbed her bra and helped, tossing it somewhere off into the room. They'd find it later. Just so long as it wasn't right there with them. Then she pulled him back, pushing herself up towards him, because that whole feeling her skin against his? She really liked that, and now there wasn't even the interruption of the bra to worry about. Part of her was starting to flail, in an entirely good way. God. She was here, and she was with Dean. Dean, who she'd had vivid, plentiful fantasies about, and god, it was happening. She let her teeth scrape against his neck just a tiny bit, that before she reached up to yank his face back towards hers so she could kiss him, a much harder kiss than previously.

Dean was absently waiting for his brain to kick back in. Not that he wasn't entirely going with the flow and enjoying every moment of it, quite to the contrary, this was perfect, wonderful, fabulous, but part of him was still waiting to start flailing over the fact that he'd lost his shirt, she'd lost rather more, his brain knew where this could potentially end and there was certain ohmygods involved in that plus potential massive disappointment of epic proportions and other huge factors and what was he doing anyway and god her skin was so soft and she felt so good beneath him and what did he do now and could he just kiss her some more and maybe he could just about get away with running a hand down and scooting a finger beneath the wasitband of her jeans and around and he could consider the reaction to that and... See where to go from there.

She didn't stop him. She liked the feel of him running his hands over her skin, and so she wasn't going to discourage that in any fashion. And when he got where he was going with that, there was another little thrill that went through her. She didn't stop that either, even if her mind was kicked up a little bit, as she started to think that maybe there should be a decision somewhere along the lines of how far things were going. What were the ramifications of it? What was alright, what would he be alright with? She knew one thing. She wanted to touch him. So, she wanted to at the very least get that far. That was alright, right? And...she still wasn't thinking about an actual stop-point, because she didn't want to stop. She wanted to keep going. Stopping seemed like such a bad plan in general. Stopping wasn't anything that wasn't going to end with frustrated groans. She'd think about it later. OR...something. Right. For now, she didn't discourage him at all, she pushed against him, kissed him like she needed it for continued survival, and scratched her fingernails lightly along the outside of the scar on his back.

That elicited a shudder from him as the combination sent a thrill through his body and he ran his finger inside the waistband of her jeans, hovering over the button for a moment, wondering. In the end, he lifted his hand back to the outside and ran it down the front of her leg, before turning and running it back up agan, more to the inside of her leg this time as he continued the kiss.

She liked the shudder. That was nice. She wanted to see how she could get all sorts of reactions from him. She also had wondered if he was actually going to pop the button on her jeans, and then he didn't. And really, she couldn't tell whether or not she was disappointed, or if she thought that it was sweet in some respects too. One thing he didn't seem to be doing was really rushing things. That was something that she knew a lot of other guys in his position would be doing. She kissed him back, and didn't stop him with anything he was doing, curious what exactly that was. Exploration was encouraged. The back of her mind was a riot of different emotions, all positive, and the occasional spark up time and again of 'god, this is really happening!' considering she'd spent so much time convincing herself it never would.

Dean hardly dared look at her as he ran his hand up her leg, curving it in more and more as he reach the apex, just brushing in between her legs at the right moment before continuing upwards, back to the button on her jeans, but at the last minute he had to, breaking the kiss and drawing back to take in her face, checking, nervous as hell, still waiting for her to tell him to stop, sure that she was going to, because this kind of thing didn't happen to him. Well, sure, it could have happened to him with Janice but he didn't want her and god did he not actually want to think of that girl at all right now and could he just maybe possible delete her entirely from his brain.

She looked up at him, catching her breath, and she watched his eyes. She knew he was kind of looking for permission. Or at the very least he was giving her the opportunity to tell him to stop. But really, she didn't want to. They were, in fact, doing things all out of order. Most people, they liked one another, dated for a while, possibly eventually fell in love, and then things happened. Or, that was how she had always decided to do things. How she'd wanted it to go. But with Dean? Well...that hadn't happened that way. Instead it had been meeting, becoming best friends, loving him that way, then after that it had turned into something more. It wasn't like they'd just met. They'd been intensely tied to one another for months now, and it just came to a head now. So, she watched his eyes, then reached up to grasp the cross and ring around his neck, to pull him closer. That, so she could speak quietly into his ear. "I love you." she told him. Because just maybe he needed the reminder. Plus...she liked getting to say it. So often since the first time she'd told him, she'd wanted to. And she'd bit it back every time. So having the idea of freedom to tell him? That she liked.

He gave a half laughing, half relieved, half happy little exhalation - aware that there were too many halves to go round there, but not giving a damn about semantics right now as he turned his head in to kiss her earlobe as he popped the button on her jeans and lowered the zip before slipping his hand inside, feeling the softness of her panties under his fingertips. There were things he could say, but he didn't trust himself to talk right now. He wasn't good at talking in this kind of situation and he didn't want to distract by stumbling over himself. So he kept quiet and concentrated on the physical, thinking that her pulling him down by the chain he wore kinda gave him a bit of a rush - usually he was the one doing the moving.

She felt exposed, even with just that undone there, but not in a bad way. In a very new way, because...well...she'd never actually got that far before. So, it was all new. She trusted him, though. And again, she was reminded of the fact that she very much wanted to touch him, so...there'd be that going on too. As he did that, she ghosted her fingertips down his stomach, to stop at his button, and she tapped it a few times with her fingertip. Because she wanted to be sure everything was okay with him too.

Dean lifted his head and gave her a little nod that didn't betray a fraction of the ohgodyes that thrilled through his mind as she did that and he slipped his hand a little further down, the angle a little awkward, but he was still being tenatative and cautious about things and didn't know if the permission he'd been given extended to actually taking her jeans down. But, she'd said she loved him, surely that meant something - well, clearly it did, but...

She didn't hesitate when she got that light, bare little nod. She popped the button on his jeans, then slid the zipper down, and sliding back up to where she could feel skin again. Very warm skin. Skin she lightly grazed her short nails across. She was reminded that he had a scar below the belt line she wanted to see. And that it was probably weird of her but oh well that was what she wanted. And now she'd get to. Or....well alright. Maybe not now-now. But soonish. She might get to in a bit. There were thrills through her stomach as his hand slid farther down as well, something she couldn't quite suppress, and she wondered if he was just as amped up with anticipation as she was.

Dean realised belatedly that he'd stopped breathing, but the breath he took was somewhat shaking and definitely unsteady as she teased her fingers against his skin and he bucked his hips slightly trying not to think thoughts about how he wished that right now she wouldn't decide that she wanted to take her time, honestly, really, time-taking was overrated right now, though he was doing exactly that with her. But that had a different reason! He just didn't want to do anything she didn't want him to and so he was going slow, but he really really wanted her to touch him right now so she didn't need to worry about that at all.

She was watching him. Really, really paying strict attention. And she was really really fascinated with how he reacted. She liked seeing that. So she did it again. She teased her fingertips along his skin, her nails just a little, and watched his expression, watching for it to change. That, right down to the tops of his boxers, where they stopped--not that she planned on actually stopping for any longer than it took for her to gauge his reaction.

Dean swallowed and his expression turned rather needy as he felt her stop again. He nodded again, just in case she needed that or something or - god, did she need him to spell this out for her because he really didn't think he'd be able to coherently speak right now, his own hand having stopped - he couldn't concentrate on two things at a time right now, his world had shrunk down to just the one thing.

She'd never done this before. So, she was nervous. But at the same time, she was terribly excited, too. Plus, there was something of a huge rush involved, seeing the kind of effect she had on him. So, hoping that she didn't happen to mess it up or anything, she drifted her fingertips up a little bit then back down, only this time they drifted beneath the waistband of his boxers. Heartbeats after that, she touched him, sliding her hand around him and she gave an experimental stroke.

Dean closed his eyes, tilting his head back and letting out a soft, shuddery breath as he pushed up into her hand a little. And as the overhead light in the room flickered a little, almsot died, then returned to full brightness.

Okay, she was paying attention to him. So she would have noticed lines. She of course noticed the streak of negative energy that went and messed with the lights, but there weren't any lines to go with. So, she was going to go out on a limb, and figure that it wasn't actually a bad reaction. And then there'd been the television at Andy's...which she was thinking now...right. While she knew she really shouldn't be, she was actually kind of proud of herself for that, having that strong an effect. She did it again, still watching him as closely as she could, to take in all the details.

He moaned, softly as she repeated the move, vaguely aware that she probably couldn't hear that, but also aware that if he raised the volume to a level she could hear, then probably everyone else in the house would be able to hear that as well. So, instead, he looked at her, eyes heavy as he pulled her in enough to be able to kiss her.

If he kept looking at her like that? God. It was a feeling she'd never quite had before. But she absolutely loved it. She kissed him back, and did it again, only this time she didn't really pause before she started a rhythm. She was good to multitask at the moment! She wanted to. She wanted to be kissing him, and doing things to him that gave him that look in his eye, and made his breathing a little choppy. About the only thing she wished she could have in those moments was better hearing, just in case he was making any sounds. She was just aware that if he got too loud? That would be bad. So, it was a trade off.

His head swam a little more as she started a rhythm, but it also spurred him out of his frozen moment and onwards as it actually kicked into his lust-dulled brain that she wasn't actually going to tell him he couldn't touch her and that he could stop being frightened he was going to fuck up right now. He deepened the kiss as he lifted his hand just enough to push her jeans down a little, just enough to get better access before he ran his hand between her legs, stroking softly, exploring above her panties, but running a finger along the edge, feeling the elastic there and testing how easily he could just shift that to one side.

Lullaby made a soft little sound as she kissed him back, faltering just a second as he did that, but then she got back to what she was doing. There was that thrill of nerves again, considering she'd never really been touched before, not like this anyways. And she was about dying of anticipation. God, she wanted him. And he could stop teasing her any time now too, she really, really wanted him to go through with it. He'd started everything in her system running back at Andy's house, and really he'd only managed to turn her on more. So it wasn't as if he wouldn't be able to tell. And really? She wanted him to know.

Dean broke the kiss and moved back a little, enough to watch her face as he slipped a finger under the material and stroked her experimentally, wanting to see her reactions, wanting to make sure that he was doing this right, all the time very aware that she? Was doing this right. Very, very right, enough that it took all his willpower not to simply give in and concentrate on just receiving the rightness right now.

She drew in a sharp breath, then clamped her teeth down on her lower lip, cutting off a sound she made. And it really was kind of a more substantial one. But she caught it. She didn't even realize she'd squeezed her eyes shut tight, and she definitely stopped her attentions on him for a few moments. That felt good. And she knew there was more to it, too, she just...it was derailing for the moment. Highly derailing. It took her a moment, but she managed to get herself to open her eyes again, to look back up at him. Sure, they weren't fully wide open, because she couldn't quite get the hooded eyes thing to stop, but she made eye contact. She could get points for that, right?

Dean gave her a slight smile, pleased with himself for getting that reaction, encouraged to do that again, more confidently this time, all the time watching her face, her eyes, entranced by what he saw there, part of him simply amazed that he could get her to look and react like that. And the rest of him just wanting to do that again, and again.

She kept her eyes on his, because she'd definitely liked the look he'd been giving her, and she dimly wondered what her own reflected. To really think about it would have required higher thought patterns than she was fully capable of just then. She was looking up at him like she wanted him. Like he was all she ever wanted. It helped that that was how she was feeling just then. She shifted, squirming the slightest bit, but not away or anything. No, away wasn't in the cards here. It was just a little hard to stay perfectly still.

Dean tried to think about everything he'd ever seen or heard or read about this in lieu of actual practical experience, though he was realising that he could actually get pretty far on sheer instinct and want as well as he curled a finger up and pushed forward, leaning in to kiss her once more. he was aware that she'd stopped on him, but as he started up his own rhythm, he was thinking that that was probably a good thing - both for his attention abilities and also because he wasn't ready for this to end now and if she'd kept that up for much longer, it would have done.

There was another sound, one she just barely registered. And then she was being kissed again, which was a good thing. It would keep her quiet, anyways. Or...quieter. Possibly not entirely so. She did know she felt a little shakey all over, and when she drew in breath between kisses, it wasn't in the least bit steady. She kept squirming a little bit, trying to remain still, but her body wanted to turn in against his, to get closer. She managed not to, but it was a near thing. It just felt amazing.

It was getting hotter in here, he thought - or possibly they just both seemed to be radiating heat. or maybe there were simply still too many clothes featured. or all of the above, Dean didn't know. But what he did know was that he liked her like this, there was a definite thrill in having her helpless beneath him and knowing that he'd done that to her. He curled a second finger up and gave her another little smile, before lowering his head and kissing ehr neck, just over the vampire scar, still running mostly off of instinct.

Instinct seemed to be serving him pretty damn well, really. He wasn't doing anything too fast, he wasn't rough about anything...it was all good. Levels of good she'd barely known existed, really. She turned her head to give him the access he wanted to her neck, and she remembered herself enough, even if it was belated, to start back on him again, sort of matching up timing with what he was doing to her. It was starting to filter through to her too that there seemed to be too many articles of clothing still on. Couldn't there be less clothes? Of course, right now, that might require stopping, and that seemed like such a bad idea.

He let out another moan as she started moving on him again, lifting his head so his mouth was near to her ear, knowing full well what hearing her make those little noises did to him and figuring she might like to share in that. When she started to match his pace, he hitched a breath and dropped his forehead to the bed by her side, his eyes closing, his brain substituting quite vividly for reality, which only spurred him on.

She did hear it, and god, that was something. That was...she didn't have the words for it, but it was something she wanted to be able to get from him a lot. That wouldn't be too much to ask, would it? Just...getting sounds from him. Ones she could hear, because she was sure there were ones she couldn't. Or, she hoped anyhow. She wanted there to be. Keeping things moving, keeping things paced, it all worked together for an experience she was savoring every heartbeat of.

He shifted his hips, bucking forward as she moved,getting carried away with the whole thing and not giving a damn about it, encouraging her, his breathing coming harsh and fast now as he turned his head back towards her, feeling his breath moving her hair, brushing against his nose.

That prompted her into doing the same, pushing up against his hand, seeking. With him doing that, and she could feel his breath, it all played into her own experience. It all drove her forward, sparked things along her nerve endings she'd never experienced previously. It built a tension up, one she couldn't ignore. All of it playing in together, it was an incredible rush. What she did to him, what he did to her... Her heartbeat was tripping along far too fast. She felt like she couldn't breathe, and yet that was all she was doing, drawing those unsteady, sharp breaths. And once she'd started moving, pushing up with her hips, she couldn't quite stop that either--and had no intention to.

He wanted her to hear him, he wanted her to know everything about what she was doing to him. He'd held it all back for so long now and he didn't have to do that anymore and he wanted her to know as he felt the tension building inside him. He tried to keep himself quiet, because his family were around, but he kept his face by her ear as he pushed up into her hand faster, urging her on, matching the pace with his fingers, seeking further and deeper, wanting to give to her what she was giving to him.

Lullaby was pretty sure she wasn't ever going to breathe correctly again. She couldn't catch her breath, she thought she was making little sounds, but didn't know quite how loud they were. Either way, the tension built up further, faster, sending her towards the inevitable conclusion. She wanted it, wanted him with her on it. So, she matched what he was doing, stroking a little harder, a little faster. It wasn't difficult at all to match him in things, it made it easier, even. "God, Dean..." she breathed, only dimly aware she'd said anything out loud. That, right before that tension build up so far it seemed to crash and blindside her, with it's intensity.

His own reply was incoherent as he followed her over, pushing up one last time before he stilled, tremors coursing through his body as he struggled to keep moving in her, not quite knowing when would be good to stop.

She felt it when he did, and it was one of the most indescribable feelings ever. Her own body was still going through aftershocks, something helped along a little by his continuation, though she reached down to put her hand over his, feeling amazingly sensitive at the moment. She could also feel the tremble of his form, the light little shaking he was doing, and she wondered if she wasn't too. It felt like it. She wound up shifting, so she could see him out to kiss him again. That seemed necessary, that reconnection after such intensity.

She shifted, he stayed very still, aware as his head cleared that he didn't want to be moving overly much right now. But still, he put his thoughts aside to kiss her deeply, adding a couple of smaller kisses onto the end of that before he pulled back and looked up at her, pleased and satisfied and just generally - the world was a great place right now. Couldn't possibly in any way ever be better, right now, in Dean's opinion and it showed in his expression.

Lullaby looked him in the eyes, and then just beamed at him. It was a bright, genuine smile, one that certainly had it's touches of satisfaction and all. It was all for him. She gave him another soft, little kiss, and couldn't seem to stop smiling. So, it didn't dim at all and she just kept watching his eyes, trying to come up with something to say--but she couldn't. She was just ecstatically happy, and that was just as obvious in her expression as Dean's emotional standpoint was in his.

His smile widened a little and he laughed, softly. "There we go," he told her, reaching up to brush her cheek. "Sun coming out." he held her gaze for a moment, then shifted, reaching for the drawer in the bedside table and being eternally grateful to his mother's habits as he pulled out a box of tissues and, blushing very slightly, began to clean himself up.

She was still smiling. That was going to be a while, she thought. She also thought that she probably could do the same thing, and she grabbed a tissue of her own, blushing that slight bit too. It didn't kill the happy look she had going on, though. That would seem impossible. When she was done, she leaned over to kiss the side of his neck, and she crawled towards the end of the bed. There, she pushed her clothes off, and grabbed up clean panties and she tugged a nightgown over her head. Then she crawled back over to the bed with him, and she flopped onto her stomach next to him, pretty close. Propping her head on her hand, she looked at him for a few long minutes--yep. Still smiling. She wanted to talk to him, but her mind had a million things going through it so it was terribly difficult to actually come up with just one thing.

He actually paused to watch her as she got changed, thrilling slightly and just a touch amazed at the small sight of naked Thia - even if she put clothes right back on again. That spurred him to realise he should probably be doing the same and he finished himself off, dropping the tissues into the bin and grabbing a pair of cotton pants, pushing his jeans and boxers off and pulling the pants on before hurrying back to the bed. Pulling the covers up over them, he lay down, so he was looking up at her, one hand resting behind his head. "So..." he started, not really sure where to take it from there. It had been, what? Less than a couple of hours since they'd left Andy's? Maybe three, four since they'd started the whole touching thing during the film? And everything had changed so much in that time - a good, good change, but still.

She watched too, because she could, and she wanted to, and it wasn't like she'd had experience with that either. Nope. Naked boys she had not seen often. Or kinda at all. No matter how close she and Journey were. She laughed a little bit, still grinning at him and she leaned over to give him a light little kiss on the lips. "Yeah, that's kinda where I'm at too." she told him. "I'm laying here, and I'm trying to think about where to even start,and I suck, I haven't come up with a spot. So, I'm going to start with asking you for a favor." she said. She looked at him for a long moment. "...can you be here in the morning when I wake up?" she asked. "You're always gone, and...I always wish you were with me."

Dean smiled a little wider at that. "I wasn't intending to be anywhere else," he assured her. "You any idea how hard it is to leave you in the mornings? When you're all warm and snuggly and you look so cute all asleep..."

She blinked at that, eyes widening a touch. "You think I look cute then?" she asked. Because he hadn't actually said she was cute. But that she looked cute then, apparently. "And it's hard to leave? Seriously, every time I wake up and you're not here, I always get a little sad. Because I know you were there, and you get closer at night. Snuggle and everything." Sometimes I'm weird and watch you sleep for a while before I get back to sleep myself... Could she admit that? Or was that weird? In the end she thought full disclosure was probably better. "You're cute when you sleep too. Sometimes I wind up waking up for a while and I just kinda...pay attention." That was a better phrase than 'watch'. much less stalkery connotation.

Dean dropped his eyes a little, until he reminded himself that, actually, he was now allowed to say all those things that he'd previously been carefully keeping to himself. "Well, actually, you... Really you - look cute all the time, but... especially so when you're sleeping," he told her, blushing slightly until he found his stride. "And yeah, it's hard to leave - I... OKay, so there was a reason I was trying to limit the amount of time we stelpt together and it had nothing to do with not wanting to and everything to do with the fact that I enjoyed it possibly just a little too much and you get all... You're dead cute when you're all alseep, but them you wake up and you're all mussy and your voice has this little husky edge to it and..." He liefted himself up slightly and kissed her, because he could, before dropping back down to the bed. "And it's very hard not to kiss you in the mornings. So, I kinda always forced myself out of bed before you wake up. And I... pay attention... as well," he added, with a little smirk because he was fairly sure she meant what he thought she meant.

She blushed a little bit. That, while she was in the midst of feeling a little silly and cute at the same time. He thought she was cute! Which she really, really hadn't known before right now. So, it made her happy. Also? Getting little kisses and beign able to give them in the middle of talking? She was a fan of that. That was nice. "You think I'm cute all the time?" she asked. "You never told me that before. I kinda sorta figured you just...like I didn't register as a girl." she explained. "Which, I really can't blame you for or anything. I'm not the most girl shaped girl in all the world. Did you just get up and leave? Or was that when you were paying attention? When you woke up?" she asked. Really, okay, they were compatible, she'd known this before, but apparently that extended to a lot of things.

Dean though of the little curve he'd been tracing before, then of the feel of her breasts under his hand. "You're plenty girl-shaped. And you always definitely registered as girl-shaped and girl for me. And yes, I think you're cute all the time - even when you're being mad at me." There were times when cute wasn't the word, but he didn't talk about them. "And generally, I'd wake up, just appreciate you for a bit, then drag my arse out of bed and go have a very, very long shower. Witha n accompanying monologue about how going back to bed again would be a bad idea and reminding myself why I was only torturing myself in the first place, sleeping with you," he told her, letting her in on that secret.

As she listened, she smiled again, liking that she'd always been a girl to him, and the comment about her being cute even when she was mad...well at least she didn't get all scary and ugly when she was, she supposed. Or, he was just looking at her through the eyes of someone who...he'd told her he loved her. So...someone who loved her. That kicked up a giddy feeling again. It was going to be a while before she was used to that. "So that's where you went." she said. "And you could have just stayed where you were, and done that kissing thing that you said was so hard to resist." she said, reaching out to pet her fingers through his hair once. "I just always missed you. Like, I really wanted to just be able to roll over, and snuggle up, and talk to you about...whatever. Crazy dreams, what the day was supposed to be offering...anything. Everything."

"Yeah, well, I thought you would freak," he told her, slipping his free arm round her and pulling her a little closer, because talking about snuggling made him want to do that. And he was all warm, and comfortable - and apparently loved. "And, I mean, of all the ways to ruin a friendship, kissing your best friend whilst in bed with her is probably really really high up on the list if it turns out she doesn't want you to..."

"I suppose, but...still. You could have. You were way better at hiding things than I was." she said, automatically making herself comfortable with him, and she belatedly realized that she had already dropped the internal question of how close was too close, what she was and wasn't allowed to do. She was just...comfortable with him. Comfortable enough to merely snuggle up and go with whatever. But then again, hadn't that always been her issue? That she naturally wanted to go for things that were more comfortable, closer, and it was the idea of curbing it that she had trouble with? It was like all she had to do was stop second guessing herself, and it worked out so much better. "I mean, honestly, I just...I never figured that you'd ever see me as anything but a friend. You were really good at hiding it. And me, I just kept messing little things up, though I guess you didn't notice so much. Like...like in the cave? When I was brushing water over you?" She blushed, because god had it been hard for her not to kiss him then. "I was getting the last of it on your chest and ribs and stuff, and I had wanted to slide my hand lower, over your stomach and actually kinda started to do that before I caught myself." she said, making a cute face at him.

"Yeah?" Dean asked, flashing back to that day. "See, now - I wouldn't have minded that. I... I liked what you did out there. And - I... By then I thought that maybe... But, there was so much else going on," he explained, hoping she would just understand that. he didn't want to bring up bad things tonight, not now when it would spoil his glow.

She nodded, and leaned forward, brushing a little kiss across his brow. "Yeah, I know. I've felt like that before too. How...things aren't the right time? But I felt that way anyways?" she suggested. "Liiiike wanting to make out with you in your room on a bed that was full of guns, and bullets, and first aid stuff. I figured that was pretty insane of me. But it happened anyways. Sometimes I think there are just...moments. And they aren't right, or wrong, or anything, they're just moments. Little fragments of time, and what's the saying? Nothing's good or bad but thinking makes it so? Or something like that. I think sometimes I just felt really connected, or like I wanted to be. Maybe I was picking up on something about you, and just didn't know it. I'm not sure. I just know I've had a lot of them, and they haven't all been at terribly appropriate times, if you look at them from an outside perspective." As she spoke, she kept giving him little light brushes of kisses, trailing down across his temple, then his cheek. It was unhurried, didn't have any real goal or purpose. She just liked doing that.

That wasn't what he meant, but he let her go on because he was really enjoying the little kisses and attention right now. And so he waited for her to finish before he spoke. "No - well, yes, that too, but... By then I thought that maybe - I mean, that there was a possibility that you liked me. But I wasn't convinced and... I spent so much time wanting this that I could just - I'd see things and then i wouldn't know if it was me reading things in, interpreting things in a way that i wanted them to be, rather than how they were," he explained to her.

She mused over that for a few moments, keeping up with the little kisses, til she got to his lips, where she gave him a lingering one. It was possible she was going to be a little overly affectionate for a while just in light of the ability to get away with that without badness. "This is still kinda...blowing my mind a bit." she admitted. "The idea that you would have doubted that I liked you, even if I suck a lot at hiding it. And i was totally in the dark about you. There were only ever these little tiny moments, where I wondered. Though admittedly, they got a lot more frequent once we got here. You kinda...did things you never would have normally. Though then I just told myself you were pretending, and I really had to remember that, even if wanted to do things like drag you off someplace to kiss you."

"No - I wasn't pretending. I just - I just stopped pretending instead. let myself do all those things that I wanted to do. And yes, I doubted you liked me. I didn't really think you saw me as a guy - at least, not in relation to you, anyway. And, you know - I was right for a long time. I just didn't clue in when all that changed. And, just in case you were wondering - if beds have guns on, guns can be moved. For future reference, if you ever get that urge again," he teased. "Same with first aid stuff."

She laughed, and nudged her knee against his side playfully. "Good to know. I just thought you would pretty much decide that you didn't want to be around me anymore. In fact I kinda thought that pretty often. I'd get the urge to do things to you and then I'd remind myself 'You know, Lullaby, doing that is just going to end your friendship' since really....would have been the last thing you needed, right?" she asked. "I figured you'd be mad. And y'know, think I was crazy, there's always that bit too."

"No, not mad. Exactly opposite, maybe. Together with 'floored' and 'amazed' and all sorts of other words that I don't know right now." He leaned in and kissed her, just to emphasise that. "So, y'know - if you get the urge to do things in future, I'd..." He smirked playfully at her. "I'd definitely be interested in things."

She blushed again, giggling a bit, and she made a cute face at him. "Yeah, I'll just bet you would." she said. "And you know, you could always go with whatever happens to be on your mind as well, not that you've been terribly forthcoming with that. Here I've been confessing all this stuff to you but all I've got is that you happened to have liked me this whole time--" she paused. "Actually...if you did, why did you freak out so bad when I told you I loved you before?" she asked. "Because I've wanted to say it since, but you..." she trailed off there, not upset or anything, merely curious as she watched his eyes, waiting for his response.

Dean bit his lip slightly, before replying. "Because I loved you back," he told her, but knew he'd have to explain it more than that. "Because I knew what you meant when you said it - you meant you loved me as a friend. And - I love you in that way as well, but I... I couldn't just tell you that like that. I was in love with you as well and I knew, if I said it, you'd - you'd know that. It'd be like... I couldn't hold that back. But I wanted to tell you that back, it was like this urge, but I couldn't or anything and it just surprised me and - and then there was the fact that even though I knew - or thought I knew anyway - that you didn't like me like that, knowing it was something different and all round basically I just freaked and over reacted and - god, I felt so bad about that, you have no idea how badly I felt about that. But then - there's been lots of those times. And I know they were getting worse. When I'd just - I tried to watch it, to not do the 'whee, I need to seriously back off now' so overtly, but I just... I couldn't explain it to you without bringing up the thing that I was trying to avoid you finding out about in the first place. And as for me not telling you things when you've been telling me - I guess... A lot of stuff I just stamped on so soon, because it was so out there and inappropriate and never going to happen that - the reality was that you were my friend. The rest of it was just..." He hesitated over the word 'fantasy', wondering if that would just be weird. "Yeah, well. Yeah."

She listened to him, absently playing with his hair again as he spoke, now that she didn't have to curb that impulse, or only use it when she had an excuse to. With her other hand, she found the cross around his neck, and searched up the chain for the ring. Her eyes didn't leave his though, as he explained. "I can understand that." she said. And she could have gone into how it made her feel, but really, she didn't want to. They'd been there, and it was past. She paused as she thought about things, before she came out with a question. "When did you...when was it...I mean you said you liked me from the start, which is still kinda breaking my brain a little, because you'd think I would have picked up on that, but...when did it become more?" she asked. She couldn't word it as blatantly as all that, couldn't just say 'so when did you fall in love with me'. So she kind of got the question out in a roundabout way.

"Well, I was really disappointed that first day when you told me you had a boyfriend," Dean told her. "Though, honestly, it was probably a good thing, because - well, you know what I get like and - I probably wouldn't have been able to really ever actually talk to you if you'd been single. As for when I fell in love with you," he carried on, putting it into the word he knew she meant, but hadn't said and feeling strangely calm about that. "I'm - I couldn't say exactly. I was trying to deny it so much. But before you died. I think that's when I really allowed myself to admit it. When you died." He dropped his eyes from hers as he said that, feeling the familiar hollowness rise up as it always did when he thought about those days. He'd never forget that morning, he could never convince himself that it didn't matter, that she was alive, so her death had no bearing anymore.

Lullaby decided that she really loved the sound of that from him. The world love, but the phrase 'in love with you'. That was...nice. It gave her all sorts of warm fuzzy feelings, and kept her smiling at him. By the time she woke up tomorrow she swore her face was going to hurt. What hurt at the moment was the expression on his face. How he looked away. Part of her was shocked. That it had been that long, that something like that had been the turning point. Or at least the true realization point. She reached up to turn his face towards hers, and she kissed him. It was a proper kiss, even if it was slow. The kind of kiss she'd wanted to give him in the basement, when they'd been talking about the samething. Her death. That first time she'd died. It was something that was meant to soothe him, at least in some respect. There was a lot that went into it, before she pulled back enough to rest her forehead against his.

He returned the kiss, appreciating it for what it was, not trying to push it into anything more, trying to banish those thoughts as he kissed her, but they weren't going away. "Did you never think - the way I reacted when I saw you that day..." The question was out before he could stop it, but he didn't try and take it back.

She stayed in close, fingertips still resting against his cheek, and she brushed her thumb back and forth lightly. There was the barest shake of her head. "No, I never thought that. God, I was...I was so scared for days there, and then suddenly you were there. And I was afraid you were going to be afraid of me, I was afraid of everything. But that's not what happened. You saw me, and the next thing I knew, I was in your arms. I can't even begin to describe to you how that felt." she said, voice dropping in volume, getting softer as she spoke. She wanted to try, but it was such a rush of emotion, it was so overwhelming in and of itself that she would need a minute to organize her thoughts if she really wanted to give it a shot.

"I was never afraid of you. You were alive - I didn't care about the rest," he told her, safe and secure in retrospect and ignoring any passing thoughts he may have once had about her being a vampire. Anyway, that still hadn't stopped him from flinging himself across that damn room to hold her and never want to let her go.

She was quiet for a few moments, eyes falling closed as she remembered it all. "I wasn't sure I was real til then." she said. That, she didn't think she'd ever told him. Even if they'd talked about the subject before, that bit she was fairly sure she'd missed out on. "Everything was such a blur, and...with the shadows thing, I would disappear. So...I didn't know. Most of the time, I just wondered, and I thought maybe I was a spirit, or not there, or...I didn't have any real way to gauge it. I couldn't tell what was in my head, and what wasn't, and everything felt so disconnected. And then all of a sudden you were there, and you saw me, and I could feel you. And you could feel me, so I had to be real. God, did I not want to let you go. I don't...do you know what it meant to me that you stayed that night?" she asked, suddenly wondering that.

"I know what it meant to me," Dean told her. "I went to school the next day and... And Caleb thought I'd met a girl," he admitted, knowing he'd never told her that. "Because I couldn't stop smiling. He thought I'd... Gone out and got myself laid," he added, blushing a little.

That had her smiling again, and she pulled back enough to look at his face. "Really? Well...technically, you did sleep with a girl..." she said. Then she had to pause. "...you know you're adorable when you blush." she told him randomly, because he was. And she didn't see it that often, so she was telling him now. "But I didn't know that. You were really that happy? That..." she smiled again. "That he'd think you did that?"

"Well, I... I think it was the whole 'happy but trying not to show it' thing," Dean admitted, though he knew he'd been practically bouncing that morning. "But yeah, I was really that happy. And, well - I'd really been that... There was a difference there to see," he told her, skipping around how devastated he'd been. And not rising to her 'adorable' comment. Just because he knew how she felt now didn't mean he was suddenly going to start taking complements any better than he ever had.

She nodded. "...I'm sure there was." she said. Because yeah, she'd died. He was her best friend, and...right. There was the L word thing. Love. "Can I ask you something?" she asked. "Why me?" she asked, not waiting for the permission. "You never...part of the whole reason I never ever would have guessed that you liked me was you've never showed me any kind of inclination towards even...you...we've even had discussions about it." She didn't want to say 'arguments' but she remembered really clearly the day when they'd been putting up wards, and she'd gone and told him all about why it was he was her best friend, and he--as usual--didn't really give her anything back. So, she was curious what it was he saw, what he hadn't ever said.

He guessed that she wanted more than a 'because you're you' answer, so he thought for a minute, trying to marshal his words to be able to give her that. "I liked you at first, because you're cute, and funny and easy to talk to. And because you never seemed to care or really notice that I'm an idiot - you just carried on regardless and that... I've never been much good at talking to girls, or new people a lot of the time. It... sometimes it depends on the circumstance, but - you never expected me to be anything but me. And you just accepted that. And - I could talk to you. I - a lot of the time, I spend half a conversation trying to get someone to repeat themselves, or they look at me odd for staring at them, or - that never happened with you and just all round, I felt comfortable with you. And I looked forward to spending time with you. And, well - you got cuter, and funnier, and easier to talk to and we had a lot in common and... And I don't think your eyes are just a dull brown, by the way," he told her, because she'd said that before and he'd never felt he was able to voice his disagreement until now. "They're not - they're lovely. They're rich and deep and they have these little specks of different browns in them and they shine when you smile and laugh."

He earned a blush from her with his going on about her eyes, thing. It was...definitely something that she wasn't used to, but was very nice. Still, it made her blush. It sounded like he'd thought about it. Spent time looking her in the eyes, and not just for the contact, like he'd simply appreciated them which she'd never figured he'd do. "Been saving that up?" she asked, since it sounded that way to her. "Thank you, I...thank you." She didn't know how else to take the compliment, but it was clear that it was something she did take to heart, and she really liked. It wasn't like she got a lot of compliments anymore. If ever. "And we do...fit." she said, landing on that description. "I think you and I just work together. I think we even each other out, and we're really balanced, things never feel uneven between us." which was important. Very important. She smiled. "And the only things I didn't feel like I could tell you were about the whole having fallen for you thing. Which hey, you know now, so..."

"Yes, I've been saving that up," Dean agreed. "Along with - don't dye your hair, it'd be a shame to lose the colour. It suits you - but... I like the idea of you growing it." he reached up and hooked a lock of her hair with a finger. "It's starting to curl a little at the back of your neck, just here," he added, letting her hair go and running a finger softly down the back of her neck, brushing over that little place he liked so much.

That got a bright smile out of her, one with a clearly amused edge to it. "You said that before!" she said, latching onto it. "You got all pissy when I mentioned dying my hair, that first night, when we were headed to my parent's house to steal my hearing aids!" She giggled, though it was cut a little short, because a shudder ripped up her back, from the touch he was drawing down her neck. "So that's why. Okay. I promise I won't ever dye my hair. And I'll grow it out. I've wanted to anyways. But if you want to see it...then it's getting done."

"That's why," he confirmed, bringing his hand to rest at the base of her neck. "See - I do actually notice you. Just from time to time." Like, all the damn time. "And I think we fit as well - I'm just glad that we agree we fit like that, y'know."

She liked the feel of his hand there. It was nice, the slight weight of it. "And yeah, apparently you do. You just never bothered letting me know..." she said, teasing little tone to her voice. "...and me too. The agreeing thing. But I think we do. I think we make sense. A lot of sense, even." It was in such an across the board fashion that she didnt' even know if she could explain it, but she kind of thought she didn't have to, either. That he understood. As she fiddled with the chain around his neck again, she found the clasp, and paused to undo it for a moment, taking the ring off of it, before she clasped it back again. She looked down at it for a long moment, then reached out to snag his free hand. Where she started trying it on his fingers like she usually did with her ring. The one he'd given her...and now she wondered about that. "So...the night you gave me my ring..."

"I don't know what came over me," Dean said, watching her play with his fingers and her ring, wondering if she was going to take it back. He'd have to protest if she did - he could do that now, tell her that he wanted it. Maybe she'd give it to him. "You said - I mean, the whole point was that you didn't know. I was so careful. it wasn't that I didn't bother to let you know but that I actively - I worked at making sure you didn't know. And then we found that ring and I... Well, yeah, I mean, I know it wasn't exactly, like, romantic or anything, but..." But he'd given it to her, and shocked himself in doing so because he never would have dreamed about doing that at any other time.

"I really liked it." Lullaby told him. "I thought it was sweet. But then again...that night..." she blushed faintly, just as she slid the ring onto a finger where it seemed to fit. She turned it a little, to make sure it wasn't too tight, and then she held his hand out so she could see how it looked there. "I actually wonder sometimes if that night was the hardest night ever. If that was when I had the most trouble not dragging you into a room and shoving you down onto the nearest bed. It crossed my mind like a million times. Hell, I even thought about that awesome bathtub in the bathroom we found." Then she looked back to his eyes. "And you, you weren't helping at all. Because you pulled me up against you when we were in the water, and okay it was just for a second, but I swear my heart about stopped, and then, I was doing really good with behaving and everything when we were in my room and then you went to say goodbye, and..." she sighed, one of those types that could only be described as a bit dreamy.

"Oh god that bath," Dean groaned, thunking his head back against the pillow and closing his eyes for a moment, before cracking them open and looking at her. "I... Yeah, I noticed that bath as well. And... yeah," he said, blushign a little as he backed away from trying to voice anything about the fantasies he'd had revolving around that bathtub. "And, well - when we were in that water... I - that was one of those moments. When I pulled you in and then realised what I was doing and... One of those 'and then we kissed' moments in my head where I had to dump myself back into reality again. There've been lots of those," he admitted.

"Well, thank god it wasn't just me then." Lullaby said, smirking at him. "And seriously? You liked that tub too?" she asked. Then she grinned impishly at him. "Maybe some night we'll have to go there. Just check it out again." she suggested. Because hey, if they'd both found that really compelling, who were they not to try it out? Really now... "I really wanted you to kiss me that night. ...that was one of the nights where I messed up too, I grabbed your beltloop and pulled you towards me and everything, if I remember. Because I was fairly certain that that was the dumbest thing I'd ever done, and that I really shouldn't have and all. I just...couldn't help it."

"No, no," Dean avverred. "You really should have - it was... sexy as hell, actually," he admitted, after a slight pause to check whether he could actually admit that. "Compelling. And yeah, like the bathtub. I..." He looked up at her moving his hand to rest on her waist, runching up the nightgown she was wearing very slightly as he did so. "You'd really want to... check it out?" he asked, because he had very specific ideas about that tub and they involved things they hadn't done yet.

"Really? I'll have to remember that then." she said, and she would. So he didn't mind being tugged around by the beltloops. Or, not towards her anyways. She didn't figure she'd be doing it at random, just when she really was feeling the need for him to be closer. ...which now that she thought about it was probably going to equate to 'most of the time'. Right. Then she watched his eyes as he looked at her, and asked that. She was aware of his hand on her waist, and that her nightgown got tugged up a little. She didn't mind. Without breaking eye contact, she nodded, smile that spread out on her lips somewhere between shy and sensual. "Yes, I'd really want to check it out." Her ideas for it also included things they hadn't done, but they could fill a book with things they hadn't done yet. And it wasn't like they were heading back tomorrow or anything. Though really she understood she should probably start thinking about the whole continued virginity issue. Figure out how she felt about it and everything. There was one major issue she had, though it was purely physical and had nothing to do with anything else. She just had no idea how to bring it up with him. Or when, or anything. Though if they were in a bath of hot water, it would probably be much less of an issue.

He leaned up from the waist, pulling himself up to kiss her as his reply to that, feeling a thrill go through him at that look on her face.

She kissed him back, deciding she could really worry about all of that some other time, like, say, when he wasn't kissing her like that. She shifted closer to him, taking the initiative to deepen the kiss herself, because she could. She had permission for that now, and she wanted to use it. And alright, she was very ecstatically happy that he'd made the first move and everything, but that didn't mean she didn't have drives of her own. So she indulged for a moment.

He wrapped his arms around her as she deepened the kiss, and drew her back down to the bed so that he was lying flat and she was above him, running a hand up into her hair, playing with the short locks there.

She made a soft sound, and lost herself in it, forgetting what they were discussing entirely as she concentrated purely on the feel of everything. It was a slow sort of kiss, but as it continued, there was an intensity to it that built up. Her hand slid up to rest on his chest, up near his shoulder as she leaned a little more over him. His hand in her hair was nice. Everything was nice. It all felt so right with him.

Dean didn't break the kiss as he pulled her over, urging her onto him, but not going the whole way and actually moving her. He was aware that whilst she'd spent an awful lot of time sitting in his lap in the past, this had slightly different connotations - it was the whole 'lying down' thing - but it would also make the angle for kissing like this so much better. Right, yeah - there you go with the justifications again already, Conway, just admit it, you want the girl on top of you, he thought to himself, but it was more of an amused inner-monologue than his usual self-recrimination one.

Lullaby didn't really need that much encouragement. She went, shifting her weight over him, liking that she could get away with the position-switch now, when she knew she'd wanted that before from time to time. To have him under her. It...was decidedly nice. She didn't break the kiss until she had to, and then she didn't go far, she kissed along the underside of his jaw towards his throat. Slowly, her position altered further, her knees drifting apart, down to either side of his hips. It put her up a little bit, more sitting than lying, and when she got to his collarbone, she pushed herself upright, not fully but part way, just so she could look down at him, gaze heavy.

He admitted it to himself as she looked down at him, this was a position which really had it's benefits, one he was definitely enjoying right now. He reached up, resting his hands on her wrists, then running his palms up her arms to her shoulders, considering for a moment pulling her down, but instead pulling himself up, feeling the shift in their bodies as he did so. he let her go, dropping his hands back down behind him to prop himself up as he looked over her face. He tilted his head to one side, then leaned in further still as returned what she'd done to him a moment ago, kissing softly under her jaw.

Lullaby was seeing perks too, also happy with this position. She watched him as he moved, really appreciating for a moment the way his hair was a little tossled, and she was still a big fan of him being shirtless. Not only that but it was one of those effortlessly hot moments he did at random. There was something about the boy when he looked so relaxed. Why it was compelling she had no idea, but it was. That was something she wanted to see more often, and she planned to. When he leaned in to kiss her skin, she exhaled softly, and tilted her head to give him whatever access he wanted.

He left his weight propped on one hand as he brought the other round, deciding that he needed to pull her closer to him as he reached her neck and continued up and round towards her earlobe, pulling her hips down and holding her stable in place. He kissed the lobe of her ear, then experimentally sucked it between his lips, running his teeth over the flesh lightly, before letting it go.

Closer she could handle. She settled more firmly against him. When he started up the attention on her ear, she made a soft appreciative sound, it exhaled with a breath that caught just a tiny bit. It was too soft for her to have heard, but he definitely would have. When he let go, she turned her face in more towards his, but not fully, more to nuzzle a tiny bit against his cheek, but she was leaving things to him for the moment, letting him lead things.

Dean smiled into her ear and decided that one day he was going to have to tell her about how much he liked those little reactions. But today wasn't the day. Today was the day for kissing a trail across her cheek back to her mouth, and for running his hand over her bare thigh, feeling the skin beneath his palm and enjoying that as he kissed her, a long and drawn out kiss.

Thia decided that she really liked the feel of his hand running over her skin. Really, it was quite nice, and of course, it seemed to leave little trails of electricity in it's wake, particularly with the location. It wasn't as if she got touched there a whole lot, so...it was nice. When he kissed her, she kissed him back, hand sliding up his arm, over his shoulder, back behind to rest at the back of his neck, as if to keep him there in case he decided to pull away.

Dean had no intention of pulling away, in fact, he pushed himself up and closer, since he couldn't pull her down, not with his hand where it was. Which, he decided, wasn't enough. he ran his hand up her thigh and round the curve of her hip, up underneath the nightgown, over her panties until he could rest his palm on her back and pull her more into him. Better.

In the back of her mind, she decided Dean just did strange things to her. She'd never been a hormone driven girl, but he tended to bring that out in her. Like now. They'd already spent time doing things, and here they were, making out again, and she already had that urge to push in against him. Which she did, because tonight was all about not curbing her impulses, but she was aware it was strange for her. Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was just chemistry. That long denied attraction to him that she was finally getting to indulge in, and so she had lost time to make up for. And of course, she just wanted it all. Wanted him.

Dean shuddered as she did that, loving the feeling of her pushing against him and reflexively pulling her harder down against him as he deepened the kiss. He wondered if there was going to be anything tonight in the way of, say, sleeping, but he'd never been less tired in his entire life. He felt like he'd be this keyed up forever, especially if she kept doing things like that. But then, he'd been wound up and generally frustrated for months now, so possibly it was just that the dam had finally burst.

Getting reactions out of him was kind of addicting. She really enjoyed pushing his buttons, and getting the shudder out of him was enticing. She could admit it, she simply was very enamored with the idea that she could do that to him. Get reactions, the little involuntary ones. He definitely did it to her, so to get it back--she was pleased. So, after a few moments, she did it again, the motion a little more overt, considering he'd pulled her down harder against him. That, right as she nipped the slightest bit at his lower lip, to see how that might work out.

The reaction she got was a shuddering little exhalation before he pressed his lips hard to hers, sliding his hand from it's reasonably chaste position on her back down over the curve of her ass, trailing a finger down the edge of her panties.

Right! So, that worked out. In a nicely serious way, in her opinion. She kissed him back with just as much behind it. Intensity, urgency, the kind of kiss that had an immediate fire to it. It was to warm in there, again. She felt like heat was flashing through her system, and her heart was kicked up again. She gave it a few moment, swept up in the kiss too much to do more, but eventually she got back around to pushing against him again, rocking them against his in a slower fashion, though it wasn't any less a hard push. It was just more drawn out than the others.

Dean broke the kiss, pulling back and gasping in a harsh breath. "God, Thia," he managed, his voice thick as she did that - not that he looked at all like he was complaining about the action. Anything but, in fact. She really was going to be the death of him one day, it was just that the reasnos had shifted a little now. At least it no longer looked like he was going to die of frustration.

That had been worth it. Sure, he broke the kiss, but she heard his voice, and she loved what it sounded like. That, along with the look on his face. It was quite seriously a rush. She reached up, to pull him back in closer, using the chain around his neck to do it. It wasn't like she had to pull him far, and she didn't try to do it hard, either. "Did you like that?" she asked, knowing full well he did. And in fact, before he could answer her, she did it again, to see what he would do this time.

Dean bucked himself up against her, tightening his hold on her and pushing her down further at the same time. "Yeah - yes, god, yes I liked that," he said in a slightly breathless 'are you insane, of course I did' tone.

That got a smile on her lips, a bit of a wickedly edged one. That was good to hear. Good to know. So there was apparently this itty bitty little tiny part of her that was really getting off on having that power over the situation. She couldn't help it, just knowing how much she was effecting him was...very very compelling. It made her wonder what it would be like on the other side, and figured she'd find out eventually. She kissed him again, though this time she actually nipped at his lip before she went into the full kiss, rocking her hips again. Though this time, she did it more than just the once, not giving a pause between for recovery time or gauged reaction.

He gave up leaning on the bed entirely as he snaked his other arm around her, clutching her to him as he kissed her, urging her on with what she was doing, loving the feel of that as he pushed at her hips with his other hand, slipping a finger under her panties at the back, just resting against her skin there. No matter what they'd done earlier, he was right back up there again - she had to know what she did to him.

She had in fact, noticed his interest. She was pretty much in the same position. Sure, they'd already messed around but...well. She wasn't interested in stopping. His encouraging her worked out, she did just what he wanted her to do, what she wanted to do, and kept it up, rolling her hips in against his, rubbing against him hard. Kissing him until she needed to tear her mouth away to breathe, she kissed at his neck when she did so. Kissed at it, tasted his skin, and because the little nips seemed to work on his lip, she gave a tiny one to his neck. More just a brush of her teeth against his skin than an actual bite, but she wanted to see how he would react.

He rolled her. There was more than enough room on the overly large bed to tighten his hold on her and flip them round, rolling them sideways until she was lying flat against the bed and he was above her looking down. He flexed his hips into her, rubbing himself against her, losing the rhythm for only a moment as he repositioned them. He looked down at her for a second, then leaned in, kissing her deeply, wanting to press her hard into the bed.

The abrupt switch up did things to her. Him switching over into taking complete control of the situation, that sent little shocks through her system, and she drew in a sharp breath when he pushed into her this time. She hooked one leg around him, encouraging him that way as her hands slid down his back then back up again, just wanting to feel his skin. She kissed him back, hard, desperate sorts of kisses as she pushed back up against him, meeting him as he pushed against her.

He broke the kiss off, kissing his way across her cheek to her ear. "Do you like that?" he asked, just as she'd asked him, his voice deep and heavy with want and need as he kept up the rhythm, his hand pushing her nightgown up around her waist.

"God, yes." Lullaby managed to say, though it was after a little moan escaped her and her voice was breathy, not necessarily the steadiest it had ever been. That one at least she was aware of. She liked everything about that. And good lord, she was starting to think that he could do all sorts of things to her just with his voice. Just by sounding like that, where she could hear the change in it, from his normal speaking tones. She let her nails scratch lightly up his back, just a little bit as she matched rhythm with him.

He nipped at her earlobe again before drawing back, wanting to see the look on her face that went with that unsteady voice, pulling back enough to see that, the chain around his neck hanging down between them, the cross alone now, since he was still wearing her ring on his little finger where she'd put it before.

She gave a little bit of a cry at the nip, not overly loud, but it made her clamp her teeth down on her lower lip, just in case she was inclined to do that again. With what he was doing, it was a likely scenario. She looked back up at him, eyes half shut, a heated, needy look in her own eyes. Her cheeks were flushed, her heart was still pounding, and her breathing was so very uneven. She looked up into his eyes, not wanting to look away at all.

They been talking - they'd spent a lot of time talking. But somehow they'd got right back into talking being the furthest thing from the agenda and Dean had no idea what had even set them back onto this track again. Not that he really gave a damn right now and he sucked his bottom lip in between his teeth for a second and put his palm on her stomach, curling his fingers under, then stretching them out, trailing them across and up over her skin so they slipped under the raised edge of her nightgown towards her breasts. he looked at her for a moment and raised a questioning, almost teasing eyebrow before he curled his fingers back down again, this time lowering his entire hand down a little, towards her pantyline. Again, he stopped and gave her the same look, slowing the rhythm as he offered her the choice, silently.

She ticked her gaze between his eyes, really not of a mind to stop him doing anything. Seriously. No and no. She smiled when he gave her that almost teasing look, and she liked the feel of his hand on her skin there. When his hand slid farther down, there was a nervous thrill through her, and she had to debate with herself what she wanted to do there. Or, well, she had to debate with herself if she wanted to pause for a moment and discuss her maybe-issue now, or just see where things were going first. In the end she erred not on the side of sense, and she gave him a bare nod, pushing herself up a little bit, just enough to kiss him again.

Dean returned the kiss as he slipped his hand down between them, pushing her panties down as he did so, also really wondering how far this was going to go right now. Because, really, he knew how far he wanted it to go, but there were issues that really they should probably talk about and which were starting to rise up in his mind. But - possibly she wasn't interested in going that far anyhow. This was all happening really quickly, after all, so - maybe they'd be non-issues. But still, he worked on trying to ease her panties down around her hips, really needing for her to lift up off the bed for him to do this.

She helped, pushing up so he could get them down and off, also wondering just where they were taking this. Where he was taking this. She kissed him, feeling her heart thudding in her chest. Everything felt so amazing and strange. It was like all at once, she felt like she had control over absolutely nothing. Not her own reactions to him, not physically or emotionally. And at the same time, there was the huge bond of trust she had with him, so she knew no matter how chaotic it seemed to be, no matter how far control seemed to slide away--he wasn't ever going to do anything that wasn't okay. So it was like a controlled chaos, nicely wild but without any fear to it. ...or, well, not fear that say, anyone else in the universe ever would have to worry about.

He settled himself back down between her legs, very aware that it was only his thin cotton pants that separated them now, but making no move to do anything about that. Not yet, not without encouragement from her to do anything. He could feel the change though and it was electric as he started the rhythm back up again, if slowly. Even if it went no further than this, he knew, this would still do incredible things for him and, if her reactions were anything to go by, for her as well.

She felt the difference too, and gave a soft moan in the back of her throat. God, she did, she wanted him. And she knew that if that was going to happen, she would need to talk to him first. There was the virgin thing....which she was pretty sure he knew, but should probably be aware of anyways, and her worry about the fact that fade's natural body temperature was a full five degrees cooler than normal people's. There was the going fast thing but then again, she was reminded of the fact that it had been what...less than an hour after he first kissed her that they'd admitted love? It had been there already, had been for a long, long time, so it wasn't as if they were doing anything on a whim. Or, that's how she viewed it. Either way, she didn't do anything just yet, she just looked up at him, watched his face as she deliberately pushed back against him, rocking upwards in that slow-set pace.

Dean swallowed as he looked down at her, rocking gently, feeling her push back aginst him, seeing the look on her face, taking it all in. "Thia..." he said, running his hand up and along her thigh, pulling her leg further up, his voice filled with need and that edge of a question. He wanted her so much right now.

Yeah, it was official. His voice could do all sorts of things to her. Fully derailing things, it seemed to touch her as much as his body did. And his little move there with pulling her leg farther up, that made everything feel that much more intense, and god... She ticked her gaze between his eyes, and reached up to pull him down towards her, kissing him even if it was something that seemed a lot more gentle than the kisses that got them into this position to begin with. Funny how things had changed tone and she didn't even know when or how. But then again at one point, they'd been talking, and now they were doing this and she missed the transition there too. "Dean," she started, not even sure what she was going to say, and she knew her voice came out much like his had. "I...there's...there's two things." her speech was broken not necessarily due to lack of knowing what to say, and more she lost the ability to speak when he pushed against her like that. "...I think you know...the first," she continued. "Virgin..." Which was fine, but he'd need to know. Plus, just that one word was easier to get out than adding silly things like other bits to make a whole sentence. "And second, I'm...a fade, and...we're colder, I don't want...will it be okay?" she didn't know how else to put that or ask that.

Dean considered this, pushing away the first how on earth do i know? thought that came to mind. "The first - me too, I've never..." he said, but he figured that wasn't news to her. She'd known he'd never even kissed a girl before Janice, after all. "The second - I... don't know." God, I hope not! "I - we'll... Have to see. But, there's... I... Don't have anything and I - does it, I mean..." She was a fade, but he'd specifically skipped that chapter in the book, it felt wrong to read that, somehow. Far too personal, especially given his hidden feelings for her.

That, Thia knew off the top of her head. That she knew well. It was one thing she'd found out fairly early on, and it had stuck with her, because it went against what she'd wanted in life. "Fades can't..." she started, figuring that was a good enough answer to his almost question. An almost answer to an almost question. That worked. She looked up at him, eyes locked onto his. "What do you want to do?" she asked in a whisper. Because really, it was kind of a risk to take for him. At least they'd know that it was uncomfortable for him if he decided to go through with it, but that was probably something to stop and consider. Who wanted their first experience to be a bad one? Which was really what she was so afraid of. She didn't want something that was supposed to be something that was shared between them, something that was the physical representation of how they felt about each other to be awful for him. ..nevermind she was more than well aware of the fact that it was going to hurt, at least for a while for her. That just so wasn't the point. Besides, she'd get over that, but if her body temperature was a major issue, that would take getting around.

He caught the way she said her almost-answer and leaned in to kiss her, kissing that pain away, or trying to - even though he had to admit that right now it was a benefit for them. "I want you," he told her, his voice just loud enough for her to hear. "I want to be with you. I want it to be you." He kissed her again. "And anyway, if - I mean... If it was... that... not-doable then, well - then the other issue would never have come up, right?" he suggested. Five degrees - and Fahrenheit at that. That wasn't that much, surely and... he was more than willing to find out right now.

She kissed him back, the attention and everything he was doing working to soothe her. It helped, it just...made her feel better. It didn't erase the worry or anything, that it might wind up a disaster, but she could share his idea that she wanted him too. And that yes, she wanted to be with him first. And she nodded, sure, she could agree. She just really didn't want this to end badly. That would be traumatic enough, really. Whole lifetimes of issues could stem from that. She kissed him again, drawing it out, still thinking it was probably his decision if he wanted to go and risk things, and...yeah.

He didn't like it when she was quiet, but he got that she was nervous. And she seemed to be leaving it all up to him. And he knew what he wanted. He pushed her nightgown up as he kissed her, getting it up around her shoulders before breaking the kiss and pulling at it, urging for her to sit up so that he could take it off of her.

She did so, helping him tug it off over her head, and she dropped it down off...somewhere. And vaguely she sort of wondered what the room looked like, with clothes all over the place. Not that she minded, really. it just probably looked interesting. In that HMMMM sort of manner. When it was gotten rid of, she went back to kissing him, pulling him back closer. She was in fact, very nervous, but kept trying to tell herself it would be okay. really...they could just have one thing not go wrong, right?

He ran his hands up her sides as he kissed her, thrilling at the concept of the fact she was completely naked beneath him, trying hard to come across as completely confident and secure in all of this and not at all like a fumbling boy who had no clue what he was doing. He didn't know how successful he was being with that. He drew the kiss out for a few long minutes before breaking it off and pulling back, sliding his pants down and off, throwing them off the end of the bed. He went back to her, running his eyes over her body, taking her in, slightly in awe of this entire thing.

She looked back up at him, taking in the view of him there. God, this was actually happening, wasn't it? Which wasn't a bad thing in the slightest. She sent up a little prayer that really everything would be okay, that her worries were for nothing and five little degrees weren't that important. That was her hope, anyhow. Though, the back of her mind was already trying to work ways around it, just in case. well. In case he ever wanted to try again if it did happen to be terrible for him. She needed her brain to shut the fuck up now, thank you very much. As she looked up at him, she realized something. She didn't feel all weird or exposed like she thought she would. She'd figured she'd feel strange about it. But really, really not. She supposed it was like the scars. She didn't hide those from him, because he was allowed to see, so...he was just allowed to see the rest of her too.

He took a moment, looking over her form, for the first time really taking in the scars which littered her torso, before his gaze ticked back up to her face and he lowered himself down, an arm wrapping around her, lifting her hips slightly. "You're so beautiful," he said, his lips by her ear. That was something he wanted her to hear, wanted to make sure she did hear it, rather than just read it on his lips. Her scars had been bad, and he knew she was conscious of them, but he still thought that she was beautiful as he slipped down between her legs.

Lullaby did need to hear that. It was a phrase she didn't think she'd ever really hear, especially not from him. So, hearing that? It was a good thing. A very, very good thing. It set her a little more at ease, even, relaxed her more as she drew her knees up alongside his hips. She put her arms up around his neck, pulled him in closer. Again, she was thinking about the fact that she loved him. And was loved in return.

Dean took a breath and pushed up slowly, not wanting to hurt her and not sure what to expect for himself either, given her qualms, things he wouldn't have even thought about if it were him, but that she'd voiced. He dropped his head down a little towards the mattress, slipping his other arm round her shoulder as he moved, just a little more, before he raised his head again, watching her face.

There was in fact, pain. Pain, but maybe not quite as bad as she was geared up for. That, and he was going slow, so he wasn't aggrevating it either. she made a sound, tensed up, clinging to him for a few long moments as she waited for it to subside a little. Her teeth sank into her lower lip to keep herself quieter than that. After a moment she realized she hadn't been doing silly little things like breathing, or loosening her grip on him, which she should probably do now. So she eased herself back a little, let go, a little at a time, but not necessarily entirely. Just enough so she wasn't holding him in a death grip. Breathing resumed as well, and she drew in a shuddery breath, letting it out in an unsteady rush. Turning her face towards his, she opened up her eyes, to look up at him. Then she drew him down to kiss him. And then she asked it. "Are you okay?" That, just a little softly whispered question.

Dean let out a breath that was almost a laugh, and not a steady one at that as he looked at her, his eyes very slightly unfocused. "Yeah, I'm... very definitely okay," he managed, thinking that if there was anything that wasn't normal here then, well - it wasn't like he had any point of comparison, but he wasn't going to be complaining about it any time soon. "You?" he asked, not moving, waiting for her answer.

She nodded. "I'm okay." she told him, and that almost laugh got a smile out of her. Plus the fact that he was apparently okay. She owed a few deities cake or something. Or the universe in general. She encouraged him a little, pushing her hips up just enough to feel movement against him. That, before she kissed him again, deciding that now that they'd established okayness...she wanted to see what all of this was really like.

That got him moving again as he returned the kiss, though it was as slow as his movements were, taking his time and, god, savouring it, though the urge to pick up the pace was beginning to build as he pulled her to him, deepening the kiss.

She kissed him back, letting that slow burn intensity build up in it. Things didn't have to be fast and urgent to be intense, and what she was pouring into it was that. Slow, but charged, not necessarily desperate, but needy. It was easy to find rhythm with him as well, slow as it was, she rocked her hips against his. As she did that, the anxieties were fading, dropping down into the back of her mind where she wasn't at all thinking about them anymore, and her full concentration was on him.

He pulled back from the kiss, really needing to be able to breathe right now as he pushed deeper, rocking his hips, lost in the torrent of charged feelings that he'd never had before. Nothing had prepared him for the intense reality of this as his breath came in quiet but audible gasps and he increased the pace a little, needing her so much right now, clutching onto her with his hands as they moved.

As things got a little faster, she moved with him, and her concentration was up on him, and she watched him, eyes half shut. Her own breathing got more ragged, her hearbeat was picked up, all as she started feeling things beyond the pain of things. Better feelings, positive ones. Pleasure. She let her short nails scrach really lightly down his back, then back up again, wondering what that would do, if anything. In the back of her mind, she figured if she was going to be doing little experiments, she'd better do them before he started moving faster, harder. Because she was already starting to lose coherency, and she figured it'd be gone pretty damn quick once he started that.

Dean gasped as she ran her nails over his back and it spurred him on. Right now it felt like every nerve ending in his body was primed to touch, only in a way that was indescribable, yet oh so very good. He reached down and hooked a hand behind her knee, pulling her leg up further as he strove to push deeper, wanting to feel more, driven by want and desire.

That was a good reaction--she was happy with that. And she had all of three seconds to appreciate the effect right before she moaned. And she really hoped it wasn't that loud, but that little thing he'd done with her knee really made everything else feel amazing, and it already had, it just sparked things up even more. That, and she liked him pushing deeper. Enough that she encouraged that by pushing back up against him a little harder, and with the leg he hadn't pushed up higher, she pushed him in towards her more. She looked up at him again, though knew in a few moments here she was going to have to shut her eyes--she already had when he'd first pushed her leg up higher. Now, all she needed to remember was that she needed to be quiet.

"Oh God." The moan was quiet as Dean managed to retain enough sense to remember that his parents and his brother were in the house and that being quiet was probably a bonus, but the words slipped out anyway before he buried his head into her shoulder, throwing his concentration into lathing her shoulder with fairly desperate little kisses as he upped the pace, leaving 'slow and gentle' behind, abandoning it - it just wasn't enough anymore, he needed more, so much more.

It was quiet, but she heard him. He had just enough volume that she caught it, and that sent thrills through her just as much as everything else. Or, almost, because then he started moving faster, and harder, and god that was the best thing ever. And any kind of coherency that she had had dropped away fast. Any kind of thinking ended, she was a creature fully comprised of physicality and sensation. It was strange, because she still had a little soreness involved and all, but it so didn't matter. It was overridden by everything else. This time when her nails dug into his back a little bit, it wasn't on purpose at all, she was just holding on as intensity built up. She definitely didn't discourage him from upping everything, and the next low moan in the back of her throat probably did the opposite.

He was breathing heavily now, working on keeping the rhythm going, his breath coming in audible gasps as they moved. He felt her nails bite into him as she clung on, but the tiny bits of pain did nothing to detract from the sensations he was feeling, or distract from the very small world that was just them right now. He raised his head and kissed her, frantically, probably messily, as she moaned, wanting to share all of this with her, wanting her to know when he didn't have words or breath to say them.

She kissed him with just as much desperation to it. Because yes, now things were urgent. Like she needed it all to keep living. She kissed him like she'd never get to again, and gasped in breath when she could. She could feel everything building like it had the first time, a tension that started to coil in her frame. She said two words, though they weren't necessarily anything she intended to say. They were 'God, Dean', uttered between sharp intakes of breath and kisses.

Dean dug his toes into the bed, trying to find any more purchase that would let him move better, deeper, anything as he braced a hand against the bedstead, pulling it in so that they were moving, not the bed, his other hand wrapped tightly around her waist, holding her to him. "Thia," he agreed, the short word somehow drawn out almost to three syllables as he lacked the total coherency of speech entirely, lost in a world of sensation.

The little things meant a lot. Like the headboard thing, and part of her, some deep part that was paying attention to such things thought that was just hot. She didn't really have time to fully appreciate it or anything, because she was still completely lost in it all, wrapped up and concentrating only on how everything felt. She started to push harder herself, striving for the same things he was, and doing her part to help out in that matter. That, as she started feeling dangerously close to the edge, the sounds she was trying to keep quiet articulating that. They were coming a lot more frequently, soft little moans that at least were quiet enough for her to miss with her own hearing, but she was aware she was making them. She could feel it in the back of her throat, and really? She wanted him to hear it. Hopefully it was just him.

He looked down at her as they moved, taking her in, running his eyes over her - the flush of her skin, the tousling of her hair, the look on her face - all of it, it was hypnotising and it just added to everything as he felt his need begin to build and he found extra stamina from somewhere to push on when he thought he'd given all there was to give. There could never be enough, he decided - there was always more.

She looked back up at him, but only when it started feeling like sparks were shooting through her system. When everything felt like it was far too much--and then he kicked things up even more. That got a little louder moan from her, and another uttered prayer. Her eyes opened up to look up at him, as she drew closer, things really moving fast now. He brought her closer with every push. She felt like she couldn't breathe, like she had absolutely no control over anything, and that was fine. Just before everything got far too intense, she breathed his name again, a shakey, barely coherent articulation. When she started to feel herself and the world around her shatter, she gave a louder cry that she cut off by burying her face against him, teeth clamping down on her lip.

Dean let out an audible gasp as she did that, her climax doing things with muscles he never thought would be possible and made things oh so much better. He was almost there, he could feel it and he kept on going, riding her wave towards his own, reaching for that, feeling it building until he finally felt it, clutching at her as he achieved it, the light above them flickering then dying with a crackle-pop, plunging the room into darkness.

God, things were intense. Everything about her own end and then the build up to his...intense. And she felt it when he hit, felt it all, right before the room went dark. She clung to him, not wanting him to do anything silly like pull away yet or anything. So, she clung, one leg locked around him to keep him where he was, so he didn't move away at all, not yet, she wasn't ready for that. She was left drawing in ragged breaths as aftershocks went through her, shudders in her frame. Or maybe she was just shaking, that was entirely possible too.

Dean let himself go, collapsing down, half on her and half off her, though making no moves to withdraw right now, he just... He was fine just here for now and, well, with her leg around him like that it didn't seem she was in a hurry for him to go anywhere either, so that worked. It crossed his mind in a hazy, relaxed, lazy kind of way that maybe he should apologise about the light. And he wondered if he'd broken anything else, though he couldn't actually bringing himself to care one way or another. It was more of a kind of an 'oops' feeling right now that was completely overridden by the hazy of goodness and contentment that was stealing over him and that made him just want to lie here, catching his breath, with a stupid grin on his face. Which, randomly, reminded him and he pushed himself up a little, looking at her for a moment before he kissed her again, smiling all the time as he did so.

She kind of liked the weight of him where it was. Her fingers drifted into his hair, or had, before he pushed up, and she looked up at him. There was a pleasantly surprised look on her face as she saw the smile there. It was an actual, proper smile. She kissed him back, and then pulled back, smiling just as brightly and genuinely in return. "That's the best expression I've ever seen on your face." she told him, voice just a tiny bit hoarse from all that hard breathing and the sounds she'd been making. She kissed him again. "If this is what it takes to get a smile like that?" she continued, kissing him again. "We're going to have to do this a lot." God, she loved it. It made such a difference, just seeing that. She definitely wanted to make sure this wasn't a one time deal. She wanted to see that all the time.

Dena laughed a little, kissing her again before he spoke. "Really - this is just about the smile for you then?" he asked, flexing his hips slightly, watching her face still thoguh he doubted it'd have the same impact anymore. "You know - a bloke could be offended..." he teased, the glow of the moment giving him confidence enough to be cocky.

She kept smiling up at him, a playful, relaxed, satisfied sort of expression on her face. She bit at her lip a tiny bit when he pushed that light bit. "Yep, it's all about the smile." she told him, but relented pretty much immediately. "Except not. You caught that part where you made the entire world cease to exist beyond you, right? Because you did that. I'm pretty sure you were paying attention and everything..." she told him. "...but I've never seen you look this..." she paused, trying to find a word, as she reached up, and drew her fingertips down his cheek. "...Happy? Content...something."

"'Something'?" Dean asked, still teasing as he nuzzled lazily at her jaw. "You know - you're going to have to work on your vocabulary, kitten, really," he teased, kissing the point of her chin, just because.

"My conversational skills apparently go right out the window after you completely alter my entire world." Lullaby told him, loving all the nuzzling, affectionate attention. And, of course, that he'd called her kitten again. He had just the one time, and she'd really liked it. So, to hear it again, that was a good sign, right? It showed on her face that she liked it too, as she grinned at him. "Yours seem to get better, though. Expanding with new and exciting descriptors thrown in there." she told him, reaching up to turn his face towards hers so she could give him little kisses. Little light ones along his jaw, over his lips, near his ear. "I'm going to go with happy, though, unless you have a better word for me." she told him. "...satisfied might play in there. At least, if things were even half as nice for you as they were for me." She started ghosting her fingertips up and down his back, over his shoulder and back down again, really a light, light touch.

"Hmm, yeah - happy and satisfied are particularly accurate," Dean agreed, snuggling down into the pillows a little more and relaxing back, letting her do whatever she wanted to him right now as he held her loosely. "And I altered your entire world, did I?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow. He thought that was probably a bit of an exaggeration.

She nodded, humming an affirmative. Her fingertips still traveled up and down his back, over his shoulder, towards his collarbone then back down his spine to start the path over again. "I did just give you my virginity." she told him. "And I'm pretty sure most first time experiences aren't anything like this. Plus, I'm still getting used to the idea that after wanting you for what feels like forever, and being so convinced it would never happen....that I've got you now. So yeah my world's feeling pretty damn different right now." She nuzzled his cheek and kissed it. "Seems like a pretty nice place to be."

"Does, doesn't it?" Dean had to agree with her there. the world felt like a really damn fine place right now, even if there was a twitch at the back of his mind that had to remind him that that was just an endorphin-sponsored illusion. It was an illusion that he really liked right now. "And I promise that I'm going to be here in the morning," he added, wondering absently if maybe they could get away with never getting out of bed ever again. okay, so possibly that was pushing it...

"Mmhmm." she said, nodding and she just took the time to look at him for a few long moments. There was a smile on her lips, a soft, genuine one. She was trying to take it all in, everything that was him, and them being together. Then her smile got wider and she looked away for a moment, before her eyes were back on his. She felt silly, and a little giddy, but she couldn't help it. "I know I've already said this a few times tonight and everything, but...I love you." she told him. It felt like the right kind of time to remind him. When they were both feeling good, and spent. "And good. I'll be a happy little Thia then." she informed him. "I'm not difficult to keep happy." Him sticking around in bed with her in the morning really wasn't that difficult a task, right? And she didn't know it, but her mind was running a little along the same lines his was. That just...staying in bed, that sounded like a good plan. Really, it did.

He moved then, pulling back and turning her so that she was facing away from him and he could spoon up against her back, his arms around her. "I love you too," he told her, his voice lazy, still full of contentment, smiling as he was actually able to say that for the first time. Say it and mean it. "And one day I'll get you that rocket ship - promise," he added, since he was going to be keeping her happy.

She giggled at that, happy to snuggle back against him, feeling comfortable and content. and she was pretty aware that she was going to be very sore tomorrow, but that was tomorrow. "You're so good to me." she told him. There was both a playful edge to it, and an undercurrent of truth. "But I'm patient, so...whenever you get around to it. I'll wait." she promised. Right now she was of an opinion that things were well worth waiting for. Like he had been. Even if she sort of already understood in a weird way that their relationship wasn't actually going to be changing that much. It wasn't like she was wondering where the lines were now, or she was feeling anxious over boyfriend-girlfriend issues. It was more she felt like they'd just happened to add a new dimension to their existing relationship, not replacing it. Like her world in regards to him had in fact changed--but only because it had gotten bigger.

"Okay," Dean agreed, reaching to pull the covers up over them. He was tired now. Tired and sleepy and comfortable and happy. And loved, he couldn't forget that one. But sleepy was definitely starting to top out the list and it sounded in his voice as he felt himself begin to drift, not fighting it overly much.

She heard it, and really, felt it herself. She smiled, though. And hey, they didn't have to turn out the light... "...goodnight, Dean." she murmured to him, drawing in a deep breath, and letting it out slowly. For the first time in what seemed like forever, she started to let herself drift, going to fall asleep without heavy thoughts plaguing her. They were just taking a break for the night, really not able to creep back in in the wake of what had happened tonight.