Leaps of faith

Who: Doc and Kayos
Where: Somewhere in Wyoming
When: Late

The fear wasn't gone, neither were the regrets. The memories of pain were never going to leave him, and not even ignoring the urge to sleep would purge them entirely. Doc knew they would always lurk somewhere in the back of his mind, ready to surface with any sort of reminder, no matter how tangential. But he'd faced them again, that was what mattered to him. it wasn't a melange' of hurt and guilt, for the first time in a long time. He'd stared into the ugly past and the things he'd done, and while there was no atonement? There was acceptance. He was ready.

Beardless again and seated in front of an open fire Doc had built out on the open plains, he sat with his shoulders rolling in slow, deep breaths. The fire was a necessity, but it was one Doc didn't care for. He loved the clarity of the night sky out here, and knew he'd miss it somewhat when he returned. Maybe he could come back someday, though it was doubtful. Unless he was summoned to see to Redfoot and his people again, Doc didn't know that he'd ever see this sky again.

Being ageless now, he couldn't know for certain. And with only a handful of hours in the night, he knew it was better to save his questions and musings for another night. Slipping his coat free from his shoulders, Doc huffed another breath out as the chill of the air washed up his arms and down his spine. His eyes dropped down the the items laid out before him on a small white blanket, shimmering in the fire light. The flames had been started naturally, yes, but they burned now, fed by the raw power of this place. That alone would have been quite the ritual for Gericault to perform, and that fact made Doc all the more appreciative of this undertaking.

Before him sat the twins' gifts; a revolver for Syn, a straight razor for Seph, both immaculately wrought by his smithing skill alone, forged from consecrated silver. Without this, they'd still be flawless, and with it? They'd be so much more. Next to them was the blade he'd been crafting the last time Star had visited him alone, a crude-looking thing that almost looked like a broken sword, its' length inscribed with symbols of balance and duty in Greek and Latin. That one was for him.

They were ready, he was ready, now came the task at hand. For so many years of his career, Doc had needed the trappings of a scientist to truly leverage his gift, and while they still helped? He'd reached a point some years ago where they were only tools, and the real necessity was his will itself. It coiled and tensed within him, almost feeling aware of the moment itself as Doc spread his arms wide to either side, aiming his eyes skyward again, and began to focus.

He pushed his concentration out and down, senses extending beyond the space around him to tune into the invisible pulse of this place. Almost instantly, Doc could feel it. It was below him, around him, flowing over him like rain, and with a tense of his jaw he focused harder, seeking to leverage it and let it concentrate. It was immense to his mind, something majestic and wild, dormant for so long but nearly as strong as what he'd felt in the caves back in Marquette. It was, quite honestly, more than Doc could hope to control forcibly. Which is why he didn't intend to.

Again, he thought of Gericault, of the lost arts that the French smith must have rediscovered to achieve what he had all those years ago. The man had been a witch, and to Doc's knowledge, nothing short of Star herself could likely control this power. Not him, not Gericault, not the natives. So he was going on faith, faith in the idea that Gericault hadn't tried to control it, only to unleash it. The stars had to be right, the focal point of this place was needed, and someone had to invoke it. They were tumblers in a lock.

For a moment, Doc could feel the thing inside of him clash with the power of the land, the Warrior inside snarling defiantly. His eyes shut tightly as Doc pushed it down, listening to the ghostly sound around him and nodding slightly, just the once. "Yes," he murmured. The air crackled against his skin with a low feel of static as Doc opened his eyes, realizing that suddenly he wasn't alone. Seven blue-white figures stood in a ring around him, flickering in and out of sight as they watched him sit in front of the fire. Six ancient looking men, one woman, none blinking.

They weren't Goshute, he could tell that from their garb, the bits of stone jewelry adorning them seemed far, far older. Whoever they'd been, they were now tethered to this place, representatives of a force Doc doubted he'd ever understand, and that? It was humbling. "You seek what is lost," said one of the men in a strange, tonal language that clicked reflexively in Doc's mind, "Many seek this, few find it. Fewer still understand it." Looking to the one who had spoken, Doc shook his head slightly. "Not lost, forgotten," he replied simply, "I seek to remember it."

"To control it?" came the woman's voice, gruff and low from within the hanging shroud of her hair and the interwoven points of stone, "This is folly. This is impossible." He nodded a touch, hands spreading to the three items before him. "Not to control it, or to abuse it. It has purpose, I would serve that." He frowned in thought, musing on what both Redfoot and the spirit on the cliffs had told him before speaking again. "All that is left of this place is whispers of echoes, fragments with no history. New echoes must be heard, this is the last chance."

Doc thought he saw the flicker of a smile from the woman for an instant before movement distracted him, the movement of two of the spirits joining hands and stepping closer. "You are afraid," said the first, the other chiming in an instant later, "You are uncertain." He watched the two before answering, and though one wore lines of age deeper than the other, Doc could see stark similarities. Twins? he mused, nodding to their statements. "I am a man. I will always be those things and more." Saying it out loud reinforced what he'd seen in the depths of dreams, that he was so very fallible, that this might not matter. That everything would be lost.

"But I kneel before you all the same. I accept the consequences of this moment, and those that follow." He hadn't needed the etiquette for years now, Doc hadn't been a supplicant (aside from Star) since his boyhood. Still, he was grateful for it as the two stepped back and another raised his head. He was ancient, wizened, wreathed in white hair that moved on some phantom current. "Then sacrifice. Lay your mark, Man Who Is Not, and accept what shall be. We shall bear witness. Know that nothing is eternal, know that this may exist beyond you, beyond us."

He brought his hands down to the blade between the pistol and razor, running fingertips along both sides of it to part the skin there as a soft sound rose up on the wind around him. It was a low murmur, perhaps a chant, but something not even his demonic gifts could decipher. Doc felt the calluses on his fingers part under the blade, low flares of heat and pain travelling to his fingertips as he raised his hands and let the blood fall free. It dripped steadily from spread hands, splattering on the cloth, the razor's handle, the chamber of the pistol, and the length of his broken sword. And but for the cloth, it didn't linger; each drop seeming to bubble fleetingly and fade into each weapon in turn.

And then? he felt it all swell up impossibly tight, felt the air thrum with power as the flame of the bonfire burned white and the low murmur of the spirits around him peaked in a sharp sound. It broke all at once, rushing over Doc in a wave of ecstatic power that he was only witness to, not the commander of. He felt it drain in from the air, seep up from the ground, filtering into the simple objects he'd brought with him. And it was over...

The fire died down as Doc's heart pounded in his chest, hands shaking as he reached for his blade, tucking it away, then to claim the razor and pistol from where they sat before him. He hefted one in each hand, breathing slow and deep with a pleased smile even as new feelings flooded his senses. The barometric pressure was fluctuating wildly, shaped by the power that ran in an undercurrent here, and even with no clouds in the sky? Doc knew when rain was coming. He looked skyward with the brightest smile he'd given in a long time, caught up in the wonder of the moment as the first drop kissed his forehead, followed by countless more splashing down along the land around him.

Doc laughed richly, keeping his head tilted back as water ran down the curves of his face and over cheeks that were finally smooth again. And all at once, just as he'd felt the rain coming, there was something else. It was a surge of power that he felt behind his eyes, locking his muscles tight and killing the laughter on his lips. It was power like he'd only felt once before, in the presence of the Mourning Star when she'd pulled him from one world to another. And it scared him. "Star?" Doc called over the sound of rainfall, swapping out his freshly crafted pistol for the Hell-forged one that was his mark of rank.

Doc's phone rang. It was only once, before the speakers were on, projecting as loud as they could. Teddybear was on the line, somewhere between the pops and cracks that were going on. "Um....Doc?" the child's voice of the familiar sounded--and for the first time in a very long time, he sounded rattled, too.

"Incoming."

That was when all the energy Doc had felt suddently seemed to backlash on itself. There was a deafening sound, a wind that whipped up because all the air around an absense of light nearby rushed as it to fill a vacuum. Spikes of electricity burned out, feedback blared out from Doc's phone, and all at once, everything stopped again. And where the absence of light had been, not just darkness, but something deeper than that, was a figure.

It was a diminutive frame, a girl sitting hunched forward on the ground, long blonde hair hanging over her shoulders and obscuring her features for a moment. After a moment she started to cough, groaning. "God, that sucked!"

The ring of his phone distracted him for an instant, and Doc hadn't even managed to reach for it before everything happened. The crack of sound across the air was a shock, like the sound barrier shattering, but even moreso was the wind. He didn't miss the way it even seemed to draw at the blue flames of his pistol, and if Doc hadn't been uneasy before? That would've done the trick. The weapon was rooted in reality itself, and anything that affected it? Well, it affected the whole tapestry of this world.

"You think that sucked?" he started to threaten, leveling the gun on the form. "Wait until..." Doc began to say, the words dying as familiarity washed over him with an icy rush. He didn't want to recognize that voice, and it was different, but there was something in the inflection, the cadence of those three words. "No," he growled, low in his throat, taking a step back and lowering his pistol.

She looked up then, reaching up at the same time to drag the hair out of her face, and she blinked for a second as she sat heavily back, looking up at Doc. It took her a second, but then she smiled, wide and bright. "Hiya, partner." she said. "Spider says hi." She might have jumped up to go hug him if she a) wasn't having a bit of a heart-hurt moment at seeing the man alive again, and b) she wasn't picking up on the whole this-was-throwing-him-for-a-bad-loop thing.

In the course of his life, Doc had been shot eleven times. He'd been clawed, burned, tortured, electrocuted. He'd once had a vampire dig inside of him and try to grab his lung. But he didn't think there'd ever be a pain quite like seeing her again. I buried you. I cried for you. A second step back was taken, the shock plain on Doc's face and in his wide-eyed stare. "No," he repeated, unable to process the mention of Spider, feeling himself hit a point of panic that Doc hadn't been at in years.

"It.... it's not you!" he snapped with a sudden heat in his voice, and just like that? Doc was gone. More specifically, he was airborne, wings ignited in sheer panic as he hurtled up into the rain, leaving behind his duffel of clothes and rushing to get far, far away from a situation he didn't have the first clue about how to handle. Or even react to.

"Hey--Wait!" Kayos said, standing upright, but well. She really had missed the memo on Doc having fucking wings now. That was new. That was real new. That was...something she could completely circumvent with a little help! Walking over to his stuff, she grabbed his bag up, then reached into her pocket for the little earpiece she always had with her. "...so where exactly his he headed, T?" she asked her familiar. She was going to need to deal, she knew, but for the moment she was pushing shit aside so she could deal later. For now? She needed to catch up with Eric, and say...maybe get him to speak to her and not like, run away like a little girl.

Where he was headed was up, plain and simple. He needed space, a chance to breathe and to find some kind of equilibrium in all of this, but it just wasn't happening. It was too much, the tearing open of old wounds that bled back through him furiously. She was here, down below him somewhere, but it wasn't her. It couldn't be her. Doc had found Kayos' body, he'd spoken to her shade, still visited her grave several times a year to just sit and talk to no one at all. She was dead. She was gone. Still rising upwards, he gave a raw cry of anguish, voicing the fresh pain that the very sight of the woman he'd loved had rekindled. The scream helped, but what now? He wasn't even sure he could face her.

She kept her eyes up on where he'd disappeared, thinking. "Well technically, he's not going anywhere." her familiar told her. "He's just kinda up there. Flying around. Which really, as far as reactions go, it could be worse." he offered.

"Uh huh." she agreed, though her tone was distracted. She dropped her own backpack down next to the duffle bag he'd left, and she kept looking up into the dark sky. "Ever take a leap of faith, T?" she asked. She thought she could see him up there. Kind of a vague dot moving around. Or maybe they were just floaties in her eyes or something, who knew.

"You are not seriously contemplating what I think you're contemplating, are you? Because correct me if I'm wrong, but if you're wrong--" Teddybear started, sounding all kinds of not happy with that question.

"Yeah, yeah." She cut him off. "Came this far, didn't I?" she asked rhetorically. "That was a leap of faith. Guess while I'm still technically riding that one, a second one can't actually hurt..." she continued, already mentally gauging just what she wanted to do.

"Yes it can! It can hurt a lot!" Teddybear protested immediately. "It can hurt whole worlds! There can be pain, and badness, and did I mention the bad?"

"Yeah, but only for like, a second, right?" she asked. "Whatever, talk to you soon. Probably." she said, grabbing the earpiece and pocketing it again over Teddybear's protests. Then? She teleported herself. there was a flash of blueish light, and then she wasn't standing on the ground anymore. She was up there, in the sky. She'd over shot just a little, so she wound up falling past Doc. And hey! She probably should have listened to her familiar. Because this whole falling to her death thing on purpose was not in any way fun, and she really did only need miliseconds to have a solid answer on that question.

There had only been a handful of seconds since Doc had bolted into the sky, but he was normally sure that his wings could beat his car in a quarter-mile race. So he'd put some distance between himself and the ground. Which meant that a form falling past him definitely wasn't a dead bird or anything. Granted, a bird also wouldn't have sent out a pulse of will that he could feel instinctively. Out here? Only one other person could, and then only if she was who she seemed to be.

Doc's wings cut out as he reacted on reflex, twisting in a moment of freefall to point towards the ground before fire lit up the sky again and he plunged down after her faster than gravity said he should. And there she was, falling with a very real look of uncertainty on her face. And it was something she would've done in the first place, really. Teleporting, sure, but just teleporting up into the air to prove a point. But it couldn't be her. He darted back up once she was above him, arms hooking to pluck Kayos from the air abruptly.

The girl squeaked when she was caught, even if she'd been expecting it. Or, she'd hoped he would, anyways, because she hadn't really wanted to die today. It'd be kind of counterproductive at best, and yeah, just really a whole lot of not cool. She gave herself a second to breathe again, because it seemed like all the air left her lungs. "So...you've got wings." she noted, the first thing that came to mind to say. "and as cool as that is and all, do you think maybe we could say, head back to where I'm totally not going to have any chance of falling to my death and talk?" she asked, in a conversational tone.

It was her. Every instinct told him it was; from the feel of her in his arms to the little squeak she gave to the way she even turned a thousand feet of altitude into smalltalk. It was Bridget, but only he was allowed to call her that. Still, the rational part of him couldn't believe it. Not even with everything he'd seen and done in his life, not with every lesson about the fragility of reality itself. "Who are you?" he snapped at Kayos, wordlessly agreeing to her request and slowly dropping towards the ground.

She squinted one eye shut at his tone, and she made a face at him. "You know, you don't really have to be mean about it." she said. "Even if you think I'm some evil clone here to...I don't know, mess up your day or something, you could probably get that information with a nicer tone of voice. More flies with sugar. Er. Honey. Whatever the saying is. That thing. You should try it. I mean, wasn't I usually the bad cop anyways?" she asked, just rattling that all off. "But to answer you...you know who I am. It's me. Bridget. Kayos. 'The Kid' if you're talking to Eddie." she answered. "I know I have explaining to do--just give me a shot, before you take off again."

Somewhere in there, there were hints Doc could pick up on. She'd never been the bad cop in their shared past, she'd been the cute girl who just happened to have a very large revolver. She hadn't been 'the Kid' for long either, not with her decision to grow up faster than was natural so she could help the fight. And then there was the power Doc had felt... the power that had only been experienced once, when he'd come here. All of this was turned around in his head without a word, pieced together until his feet touched the ground.

He set Kayos down, stepping back quickly and running his hands over rain-slicked hair, making it stand up in points like he'd worn it in his youth. "So... explain," Doc muttered, looking down at his boots with a grimace of apprehension.

She felt a little jittery on her feet, and so she sat down, flopping backwards and leaning back on her arms. "Okay. Here's the rundown." she said. "To make a long story short, everything sucked, the world was going to hell, and then it kind of just was hell. Everyone died, I was in hiding, being closed in on, pretty much, then Spider showed out of the goddamn blue, and told me I could help out someplace else. That you weren't gone somewhere else. That you needed me, because I wasn't around for you here. That there was someplace I could try again with, that hadn't dropped down into massive amounts of apocalypse yet. I said yes, here I am." she stated. "Okay, now feel free to bombard me with questions, I'll try to answer. Commence freaking."

'That you weren't gone somewhere else.' It stuck out to Doc. Even with knowing about other worlds, he'd never thought much on what he was doing in them, if he was dead or not in those fights. "Sometimes I think... even if there's an endless number of realities? There's only one Spider. He just hops between them, forgets which is which because he's too damned high." He smirked for a moment as he thought on the temporal master they'd both apparently known, shaking his head. "Here, this place? You died." Doc said flatly, "Three years ago." Taking a few steps towards Kayos, Doc crouched down and looked her in the eyes, studying the differences. "It still hurts, every day."

He shook excess water from his hand, reaching into his coat for his smokes and lighting up quickly. The chance to fidget with a lighter helped for a moment as Doc pushed past the confession, drawing in a deep lungful. "So... everyone died. I died. From who?" They'd had old enemies of all sorts. Survivors from their hunts, sure, but there had been more entrenched foes; forces too deeply rooted to stop entirely.

"I kinda think the universe might eat itself if there was more than one Spider. He's enough for any 'verse." she agreed wholeheartedly. Spider was just...Spider. And yeah, probably too high to really differentiate. She looked him in the eyes too when he approached, not flinching from what he was saying or anything, though it gave her a pang to hear she'd been gone that long. And that it still hurt. Nt that she didn't understand--she did. He'd died on her, after all. She knew how it was. How it felt now, to see him, even. "Everything. The union rose up. Stronger, they had help. They kept just...absorbing everything. And then there were the demons. They just came out of nowhere, fucking--there were even demons that other demons didn't know were still there. Everything went to hell really fast. Chaos hit up hard, governments died, society collapsed." she said, and this was where the fact that she'd come from a dying world seemed to reflect more in her eyes, in the way she sank back a little bit, didn't quite meet his gaze. "There was way too much. You and I, we tried, y'know? We all tried. Just didn't work out for us. We started dying, and every time, we just had to keep moving, but it never actually did anything but mean we didn't get to have a proper funeral. You've been gone about six months now. It was down to me. Just...me and Teddybear."

"The union," Doc repeated quietly, fire blossoming in his eyes. The Enemy, their oldest, the one they'd never had a chance of stopping. And just as she'd described in her world, Doc had tried here too. He'd fought them tooth and nail, he'd buried so many good people who were willing to die just to hold the line. And eventually? He'd been forced to vanish, they all had. Everything Kayos was telling him was what Doc knew he was supposed to prevent here, as War, but knowing that it had happened once already made it seem that much more daunting. That look in her eyes nearly had Doc biting back his next words, but she was here. If there was one shred of similarity between the Kayos he'd known and this young woman? She was here to fight it again, even if it ended up being just her. "It's starting here," he rumbled, "I don't know what the signs were for you, but it is. We're going to find a way to stop it."

"That's the short version I got." Kayos said, voice slightly quieter. "And that's what I'm here for. Trying to stop it." she said, sitting up straighter, crossing her legs to sit indian style as she kept her eyes on him. "You look different." she noted. "Guess we must've met differently here or something." she added, giving a strange sort of smile. One that didn't look quite right on her features. Like she didn't know if it was something to smile about or not.

"I don't think we did," Doc told her, head shaking slightly, "I was probably just less self-conscious back where you came from." All willworkers had the chance, with time, to make some of their effects permanent, or to perform truly earth-shattering feats, but the price? In many cases, it was permanent. In Doc's case, it was that his scars never healed, and his wounds always scarred. That had been true for almost all of his life, even when he'd met Kayos. But back then, he'd found a way to hide some of them. Facial scars were so identifiable, after all, and no one wanted to work with a man who looked like... like Doc really did.

Reaching to his jaw, his fingers seemed to worm beyond the skin, pinching the edge of a strip of synthetic flesh and peeling it back. There was a long streak of scarring beneath, and another he revealed high on his uninked cheekbone, a divot of missing bone and tissue. In all, there were five of them hidden, five tiger stripes on his face and neck that no one still alive in this world knew about. "You look different too," Doc eventually said, smoothing one strip back in place carefully.

She frowned a little bit, watching him start to re-hide things once more. "....guess you're right then." she said, and bit back the question of why he hid that. There were going to be differences, she knew that, understood it, all that jazz. It was just kind of hard for her to deal with. To her it felt a little like a kick to the gut. Then he went on about how she looked different, so she had to ask. "How?" Of course, she also wanted to ask how she'd died in this world, but didn't yet. It wasn't like she wanted to reciprocate and tell him the story of how he'd died.

He'd started reaching for her with his free hand, reconcealing his scars with the other, but Doc managed to stop himself. He couldn't know how things might have been different between them where she'd been, after all. "Younger," he said eventually, "And... just different. Like you've seen things you didn't here." Like she'd grown up at her own rate, maybe, and definitely like she'd never had children. Parenthood brought a maturity all its' own, and he didn't see it there.

"I'm younger? Really?" she asked. "Huh. That's...different." And something she didn't even know what to do with, really. So, she decided to opt for not doing anything with it, and just taking it on board while moving on. "So, I don't remember you having wings." she said, latching onto that and rolling with it. "I'm pretty sure I would remember that, really. Kind of a big thing and all. I mean, you can forget someone's anniversary, or a birth mark shaped like Whistler's Mother on their ass, but wings? Not so much."

Of course she'd bring those up, making Doc feel like he had to confront the job he'd taken once again. A job which, if he'd known the twins' mother at all, she'd have been leery of in this life. "Yeah, I..." he began, frowning and weighing how to explain it, "You said there were demons that everyone didn't know about? I... I'm sorta one of them, I think. But on the other side of the equation." Which was shit for an explanation, of course, and he knew as much. He just didn't want to get too close to reliving losing her, or the time where he'd given up the battle, until Star had shown up. "For a while, I stopped. Tried to stop fighting, at least. And... someone approached me with a job offer, a demonic station. It needed to be filled, or we'd hit the end times a lot sooner." Maybe that was what had happened in her world, maybe the post of War had never been filled and everything had dominoed onward.

Kayos stared at him for a good half a minute. Not blinking, just staring, quite clearly shocked. And a heartbeat later, the girl was about fifteen feet back from where she'd just been and she had her revolver aimed at his groin. "How about you try that again, and this time leave out the word 'demon', because that? Is just in no way fucking acceptable, Eric." she said, voice rock steady, even if her form was trembling just the tiniest bit. "What. The. Fuck.?" she continued. "You know what I was talking about? Demons other demons thought were gone? They were the worst of the bunch. They came forward and it was a fucking plague. It was let's roast kindergarten classes in their classrooms while blasting 'My Little Playmate' over the loudspeakers of the football stadium. So try the fuck again, and this time it had better be a story I can understand, or we're going to have major issues, and you're going to be down at least one nut."

That was the reaction he always expected from people when the word came up. Of course he'd had no time to move, so Doc just looked up from where he sat and shook his head at her. "Like I said, other side of the equation. Yours were part of the end, what I do is meant to ensure there isn't an end. You said governments fell? I'm here to hold them up, keep them doing what they do." As much as the demonic side bugged, the job itself was a point of pride for him, and that showed in his expression. "Whatever's different between us? I think the cause was the same, once. We fought to keep the wrong sides from ever really winning, kiddo. now? I do it officially. My title is War, Bridget, my service is to the balance of all things, and if that spooks you? Start shooting. Looks aren't all that's different here, but I'm still me."

"Fuck--War? Like, Horseman Of The Motherfucking Apocalypse, War?? Not helping, Eric!" Kayos said immediately, not putting her firearm up yet. "Jesus you need to work on your approach if this is really your spiel! For the 'other side'? The fuck is that supposed to mean? I still hear 'demon', you know! And the wrong sides? There's more than one now? And please don't tell me you think telling me you're all for government now is supposed to sway me to thinking this is a good thing. We fought to keep the world from sliding down into oblivion, that's what. The only reason you still have manparts is because you're you, and I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt, but please start helping, or this is going to get very messy very fast."

Doc sighed, shaking his head at her and letting it hang a little as he made no move to rise from his crouch. "No, not like one of the horsemen, okay? I checked on that, trust me. And I'm not all for government, either, you're jumping to a lot of conclusions for someone who reality hopped here ten minutes ago, kiddo," he chastised lightly. "Okay, one," Doc began, counting on his fingers and producing a new smoke, "The other side? The things you saw worked for death, destruction, the end of things. My side, my middle, I guess, isn't that. It's the continuation of life through struggle, through conflict. Two, the government thing? I create conflicts across the world, I stop them sometimes, nudge them others, because that flux is what societies need to stay vital. I'm not going out shelling Kosovo or anything, I don't do more than talk to people."

He finally sat on the wet dirt below, holding up a third finger and catching his cigarette between the first two. "Three? Yes, there's more than one side now. We tried to stop the darkness from taking over, and that's one of them? But I've seen what happens when the light gains enough strength too, Bridget. I've watched the world fade because the things that are evil and fucking terrible can't exist any more, and as much as I hate it, they need to exist. It's not an easy ideology to accept, but I know that it's what I need to do. You don't have to, for once you get a choice about the fight..." He studied her with that, again wondering how different things were where Kayos had been, what her choices had led to. "Four, and finally? I'm a technical demon, not a real one. As far as angels and other demons go, I'm a bad guy. But like I said, it was a job I took, probably about a year ago now. I'm still me, still a sour old willworker, nothing had to change for this except my tendency to shoot first and eventually think about asking questions."

"You're the shit storyteller who decided to open up with 'Hey I'm a demon, Whee!', ass." Kayos snapped, giving him a Look that was something very her, and something that wasn't lost at all over different realities. But she was listening, too. Taking in what he was saying, even if it didn't necessarily make her feel all sparkly better or anything. Not yet. She also didn't say anything for a good few minutes, before finally her revolver went away again, and she reached up to drag her fingers through her wet hair to get it out of her eyes. She looked away hard, then turned and walked a little farther into the darkness. "I'm going to need a minute." she called back.

You're the one who crossed worlds to find me after killing yourself, Doc thought for a bitter moment, wondering how well she thought anyone could explain themselves on the heels of an entrance like that. "I'm not going anywhere," he said after her, sitting with his smoke and watching the stars, just wondering. This... this was his trial in some regard, he would guess that much. Maybe not the only one, but her return? It hurt, it jumbled his mind up. It made him wonder if he'd hurt her less in that other world.

She took a few. She took about fifteen minutes or so, walking around a huge circle, him at the center. She didn't want to go too far, but she needed the breathing room to sort out what she thought about this mess, too. In the end, she walked back up, and her revolver was still holdstered. "Tell me that it's still about them." she said, when she got in close enough, arms crossed over her stomach. "The people who can't do it for themselves. Tell me it's still about them, at the end of the day."

Watching her approach again, Doc gradually ambled to his feet with his smoke dangling from his lips. He listened to that request, smiling a faint, humorless little smile. "It always has been," he said at last, glancing down at his own holstered weapon, "It always will be. Here, this world... I was alone for a long time, Bridget. I worked solo for near twenty years, you had other things you needed to do, but I couldn't stop. Knowing that there were moments that could ruin a life, but that I could prevent, it was all I had. And now? Now I'm staring down heaven, hell, the union, and everything in between. And I don't give a shit how many of them there are, because there's more people who aren't a part of it who don't deserve to have the course of their lives dictated by the ideological bullshit of any of those sides. They deserve a chance to live, and I'm going to make sure they get it."

"Why were you alone?" she asked, frowning at that. "What did I have going on that would possibly be more important than the fight?" She had to ask it, because it was a bit of a foreign concept to her. She didn't get it, and certainly couldn't think of a reason why they'd have parted company. At least enough that he was actually considering himself alone. He'd said she'd only been gone for like three years or something, not twenty. that was a long ass time.

With a deep huff of breath, Doc looked to her intently, watching for her reaction. This, of all things possible, was likely the clearest distinction between lives. "Kids," he said plainly at first, "Twins, actually. Just about everyone has a couple now. Lex and Xail both, you did too... we disbanded, Kayos. You got pregnant, Lex got married, Xail followed suit. Everyone had too much to risk for the fight to keep going, everyone but me. And when you... when you were gone, I came back. I promised you I'd be there for the twins if anything happened, and I am."

There was blinking. Her blue eyes went very wide, and she stared. "I---kids?" she squeaked. "Me? I...um." she stammered. Then she shook her head immediately. "That can't be right, I'm just--only you said I was older here, huh, and I just--kids?" she asked, walking a little away, then immediately back again. "Kids, as in small humans, people type things, I had them? Two of them? Twins, even?!"

And this, the chance to see her reaction, was like stepping back in time for Doc. It was like her first days after finding she was pregnant, and the panic Kayos had shown over the idea of being a mother. She'd never thought she was wired right for the task, even if Doc had thought otherwise. In hindsight, he knew they were both right in different aspects. "I don't know if Ash was there, where you came from. He wasn't here for very long before he skipped town, but yeah. You and him, twins. Amazing ones, at that. Not sure what I'll tell them about this, of course," he finished uncertainly, giving her a little grin.

"Kids?!" Kayos was a little stuck on that. "And --- telling them?! Wait, I'm going to have to meet them? Are you sure that's a great idea? Especially if I'm all wormfood here?" she asked, fidgeting, and walking short arcs back and forth. "That's just not going to do, what if it freaks them out? I'm freaked out! There's a lot of freaking to be had here you know, and I'm not a mom and I don't know any Ash--wait, are you talking about that grungy skater ass who liked to call people 'bra'?" she asked, looking back at him again. "I bred with that guy?! Oh god please tell me that it's some other Ash, some cool, gramatically correct one! With better sense and the will to do something for the greater good! Please? Even if you're completely lying to me?" she asked hopefully, leveling her gaze on him again and giving him a bright hopeful look to go with her tone.

That was a rant that deserved a minute or two to be aired before Doc came back to it, chuckling a touch. "You don't have to meet the kids, no," he assured her first, "I'm not sure when or how I'd tell them, because yeah..." That didn't need explaining, did it? "We'll come back to that in time, once you're less blown away. But I'm not gonna lie to you, either. You've got the right Ash, he was more or less just a DNA donor. He headed west again not long after the kids were born, and you had plenty of people around to help bring them up right. Ash passed on a few years back too, from what I hear... may be different stakes in this world? But there's still not many of us left."

"Goddamnit, I asked for a lie, not the truth." Kayos huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and pouting for a moment. "that's a dumb truth. I don't like that one. Bad enough I have crazy random children and they're his? Lame." she said, rolling her eyes. "I guess we'll have to tell them something but I don't know, I mean, I've been dead, and...things...and...I dunno. Can I ask how I died?" she asked, coming back around to that question, even if she still felt weird asking it. But depending on the method, it would impact her decision on what to tell the mystery children.

Doc couldn't hide the twitch she got there, under one eye in his cheek. It started just from her wording, 'crazy random children'. Doc knew the twins both worried about getting disconnected from reality, and it was a sensitive topic for him at times, but the flinch was pronounced when Kayos asked how she'd died. "You did it yourself," he said in a quiet voice, turning away a moment later and moving for his duffel bag. Doc crouched low, digging out another bottle of water as he tried to force a pang of grief from his mind. He couldn't shake the image of her, her body opened up in the tub, cradled in Synnove's arms.

She stood there, blinking again. Okay the kids thing shocked her, but if she'd heard that right? That dropped the bottom out. "What?" she asked reflexively, even if she'd heard. That couldn't be right. She'd had kids, apparently. And he was her partner, and okay, apparently he'd buggered off or something for a long time but still, and she'd huh? She really couldn't quite imagine that. What could possibly have gone on to lead up to that.

"You killed yourself," Doc repeated, just holding the bottle of water with his back to Kayos for the moment. For everything good that had happened with the twins, Doc still wasn't ready to relive the loss, to confront what had happened and how things had changed. "You... your son, Eric," he began, looking back to her, "He killed someone, and it wasn't a hunt. And we all came together again to figure out what to do, and... we sealed away his gifts. Shipped him off to a clinic to try and get some help." Doc made a quiet, pained sound, looking away as he flinched again and abruptly hurling the bottle into the dark, then turning to face her fully. "I took your son away, and I wasn't there when you needed me, and your daughter couldn't understand why you let me do it... and you couldn't take any more." he growled in a low stream, rolling his neck to let his eyes dart around instead of staying on her.

Spider, you dick. A little warning next time, fucker. was the first thing that went through Bridget's mind at that. Because this was a whole hell of a lot to try and deal with, and obviously things were a whole special kind of fucked here. ...and not the kind of fucked that people got over, either. She could see that much, loud and clear. Hell, she could even hear the self recrimination in his voice, something that was familiar to her. Very familiar.

Okay. So she had kids. And one of them was a murderer. And...right. Yeah, she was just going to stop right there and make a promise to herself that she'd deal with this shit later, one bit at a time. This all at once bullshit wasn't flying. "So I left you? And everyone else?" She couldn't really say 'my kids' because they weren't hers. And that was just going to be something she wasn't sure was ever going to be right in her brain. But still.

I left you first. Over and over. He thought he'd come to terms with this, but seeing her again? Doc couldn't have predicted the effect it was having on him, no way in hell. "You'd endured more than most people should ever have to. I think that eventually, without the fight? You didn't see a reason to keep going." He still believed he might've been able to change it, but Doc would never know. "I visit the spot we'd picked out pretty often," he confessed finally, "You were pretty big on it."

She walked a little closer, but not that close, sort of wanting to be a presence without being intrusive, considering the subject. It was a fine line. How did you comfort someone over your own death? Really, that was fucked up. But then so was the fact that apparently she was a suicide. "You know you sound like you think it's your fault." she said, tone gentle. It was so strange to be on familiar yet not ground. she'd been in this position, so many times before with the man. But...not this one. Still, that didn't cut out the familiarity.

"I've been over it a thousand times," Doc rumbled, "And everything happened because I chose for you. I left, I visited a couple of times a year, I... I took your son. He was trying to defend you and his sister, and he did what we've done, and he got punished." That decision in particular haunted Doc still; it had broken something in Seph, it cut Syn deep, and it was the final straw for Kayos. "Sometimes I wonder if you did it because you finally realized how often I was wrong, doing what I do."

I am soooo out of my depth here. went through her mind, and she stepped up beside him, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. She kind of wondered just how long he'd been holding all of this in. Because he'd said three years, but the depth of the emotion coming off of him felt like it could have been yesterday. But then again, maybe this man was like his counterpart. He didn't really talk to people, not really, no one but her and that was mostly because she knew when to call bullshit. She knew how to read him better than anyone else, because she was his partner, end of story. Right now she was reading 'this is all my fault, and I hate myself for that'. She'd heard it a lot before. "You think you're wrong, or were wrong in what you do?" she asked, pulling on that thread of the conversation gently.

"I know I was," Doc admitted bluntly, nodding, "So puffed up on my own enlightenment that I knew best for everyone. I forced you out of the hunt, same with Lex. I pulled your son away, I kept on hunting because I thought I was the only one who still could." And for any differences, this was Kayos. She could see into his head, he knew. "I've... I've been trying to change. Being a father helps, I trust the twins, but doing better today doesn't excuse yesterday."

Yeah, she knew this riff. She'd heard it before, it was more than just the tone, it was the entire sentiment. But then she knew she'd had talks with Doc before about choices, and people making their own. Apparently it was an issue here too. She was silent for a few long minutes, just letting things sink in, and she kept looking at him out of the corner of her eye. "Neither does not letting go of things." she said. "So, you made some mistakes. Everyone does. You acknowledge it and move forward, Eric." she said, mind putting in that Doc had said her son's name was Eric too. Not surprising, really. What the hell had she named a daughter? Back on task here, Kay. she told herself. "You don't sound like you've done a whole lot of that moving forward thing."

At least he had firm footing here, this all echoed from things he'd confronted in the recent past. "I have," he countered, shaking his head, "Honestly? I've made peace with what I did. I had to face up to the fact that we all made our own decisions, that we stood together because we chose to. No matter how much I talk, at the end of the day it wasn't my choice. It doesn't mean I don't regret it, or that it's not raw again just seeing you." He smiled wistfully, looking Kayos' way. "I'm taking steps forward every day, Bridget. But some days I take a few back, too."

She arched a brow at him. "...I'd definitely say today, old man, because you aren't making a lot of sense. Make up your mind. Either you're upset because you made choices for people, or you're cool with shit and you know you didn't." she said. "Both doesn't really add up." she pointed out. "Unless you've taken a few too many knocks to the head or something..." With that she gave the slightest little half smile.

He didn't smile back, and internally Doc felt confident that this was a trial, being forced to face what he'd lost and seeing if his convictions would hold true. "Both don't have to add up, because they're not simultaneous," he mused, looking down to his shoes, "Most days I get it, that it wasn't my choice. Most days I feel strong accepting that, because I know the guilt I carry around isn't real, it isn't mine. But seeing you again, kiddo? Well, it makes me question everything all over again. And if I really learned the lesson, then at the end of the questions I'll get the same answer; it wasn't my fault. Just... you being here... well, it makes me doubt. I just have to beat it again." And he thought he could, given time. Of course this was too fresh, too sudden for Doc to take in stride. But it also wasn't her. I can do this, he told himself, Faith.

She listened to that, then shrugged one shoulder. "I guess." she said, not sure if she fully got what he was going on about, but she got enough of it to accept the answer. "...so what now?" she asked, thinking that was a good question. Really, there was a whole lot that could be done. But at the moment, she wanted to regroup. Figure out where she was going to be staying, reacquaint herself with the world, move forward.

In all likelihood, there was no real way to make her understand entirely. Kayos, the woman he'd known, had been good at seeing deep into the man, but this wasn't her. And even if it was, it'd been three years, and they'd been eventful years in Doc's life. Still, she seemed to accept what he tried explaining, and that was good enough for now. "Now?" Doc echoed uncertainly, "I was heading home tonight, once I'd finished up out here." And the world Kayos had left behind didn't sound like one anyone would want to go back to. "Feel like coming? I've got a little place in the town I'm staying at, one of the guys from my crew's settled in there, but he can share. I think you'll like it, it kinda reminds me of our old place, back before the roof caved in." Which made him wonder if it'd been the same sort of place for her.

It was, that fact illustrated fairly well by the way she lit up a moment, smiling. "Really? That's cool. And if you don't think he'd mind, or anything. It's not like I can't afford a hotel." she added. Wait, could she? Did she have money here? Fuck, whatever, she knew herself, and if she was anything like she was now, she had money squirrelled away in a whole ton of places, and Teddy would know where.

"Kurt doesn't mind much of anything," Doc informed her with a hopeful little smile of his own, "He took a bullet just above the knee a while back, we were neck-deep in vampires, and I don't think he even really stopped to let himself bleed. He's a good sort, ex-soldier and all." It was strange, but comforting. They just dropped right into the old ebb and flow, and while Doc knew there were issues lurking in his head? This was reassuring, this was heartening. It was right for her to be here, whatever turmoil it might create in him in the days ahead. "So... did you want to come flying with me? No spankings from reality for that. If not, Teddy can get you a bearing to jump to, and I'll meet you there."

Kayos thought about it. She eyed him, considering. "Well, we've done a whole lot together, but I guess not...us. And flying didn't make the list anyhow. Falling, maybe, but not flying, and those are pretty different in my book. So...sure, why not." she decided, smiling brightly for a moment. "It's not going to be all super cheesy Superman style, right?"

They had done plenty together, but Doc was working to remember the differences and what they entailed. Somehow, he had a hunch that the closeness in their past was different, and he wasn't about to ask for confirmation tonight. He'd just play it safe. "Only if you want it to be," he answered, chuckling, "Otherwise no, I won't be basket-carrying you. I could probably just kinetic-lift you, let you ride shotgun next to me. Otherwise yeah, it'll involve laying on me or something."

She laughed, a giggle-sort of sound, and she went to grab her bag. "I am not laying on you, and hello! The whole hand-holding, floating beside you thing is all cheesy superman-tech! I'd rather be carried! But I suppose it's not really the difference between flying coach or first class, so I can't be too picky, hmm?" she suggested, heading closer.

"We don't have to hold hands, even," Doc offered with a chuckle, moving to where she'd dropped his duffel and slinging it over his shoulder, "And if you want? Then yes, I can carry you, in the name of being less cheesy." No matter what, he wouldn't be pushing for top speeds on the trip back; how bad would it be to slip up so soon after her arrival? "Your choice," he finally said, adjusting the strap of his bag before activating his wings without the fire, looking Kayos' way expectantly.

She took an automatic step back at that, just looking them over, even if they were difficult to see just then. "Man....that's going to take getting used to." she decided. She shrugged her own bag onto her shoulders, then walked closer, looking up at him. She caught his eye, and held it. "You do whatever, I trust you." she told him, meaning it.

It took a long moment before Doc did anything, studying the look in Kayos' eyes. She trusted him. He believed those few simple words, he needed to. He'd crossed worlds to do what was right, and she? Well, she'd done the same to find him, to chase that same goal. To do what they were meant to do. Whatever personal fears Doc had, he could believe that, he could take strength from it. Shaping his wings carefully with a thought, Doc moved over and put his back to Kayos, smiling away from her and slinging his bag to hang from his front. "Hop on," he murmured simply, crouching a bit for her to hop up.

That had her laughing a little again. "Dear god this is gonna be weird." she said, walking over and doing just that. Her backpack was secure on her back so she was all good. She hugged her arms around his neck but not too tight, breathing was cool to do, and even if he was some sort of demonic presence now, she was betting it was still important. Then, after a moment, she just had to grin and say: "Giddyup!"

Laughing softly at the urging, Doc reached for her legs to make sure there was no chance Kayos would slip away and suddenly left the ground. He launched up in an arc, leaving the burnt-out campfire behind and below him as they streaked off into the sky and Doc relished the breeze on his face. For all he'd come out here to do, for all he'd accomplished? He couldn't have expected this. Somehow, that made it so much more important than any feats of power he had planned on at any point in his career.