Lingering

Who: Doc and Jocelyn

Where: Babylon

When: midday

Jocelyn was working again, much as she seemed to be doing most days. Eris hadn’t asked her to work extra shifts in the bar, but since her new contract had been struck, Jocelyn constantly felt like she was going to be considered not working hard enough. Especially with Doc being gone for so long, and thus Jocelyn not having served even her one client was making the girl more self conscious of her worth than ever. So she worked, hard and for hours on end. Eris had continued to either ignore her or just stay silent on the matter so Jocelyn assumed she was doing the right thing.

Plus work like waiting tables and pouring drinks was the .kind of work that she could drown herself in completely. Unlike catering to clients, which required removing one’s self from the situation in order to not get completely caught up in it, working at the bar could completely cloud her mind over and become the only thing she thought about. It was excellent work when she missed Doc while he was gone, and it had become even better work now that she needed to pretend he didn’t exist. Which was what she was doing now, pretending he didn’t exist, that Kayos didn’t exist and that her heart wasn’t hurting. Instead she was moving around the room at a decent clip, humming along to the jukebox and remembering Grayson’s soft smiles and reassuring touch. Who needed her pain in the ass boyfriend when she had a best friend who would go to war for her?

While Doc was the type of man to seek out distractions when he needed them, he hadn't needed to search very hard as of late. As always, there was plenty for him to do; as a father, as War, and as a man versed in the supernatural who couldn't help feeling it all shift around him. But eventually, as it inevitably went, the distractions and tasks fell away one by one to leave the man with the things he could only ignore for so long. They needed to talk, he and Jocelyn, and he had a hunch neither of them would like it.

Doc was hoping through his disappointment though, clinging to the idea that the spark in him that had flared to life when he'd found Jocelyn would sustain itself. It had to be strong enough this time, it had to. I'm getting too old to keep trying, Doc mused as he breezed through the front door of Babylon and made a neat line of movement for the bar, already spotting Jocelyn's dark mass of hair from the entrance.

She didn't notice him come in. In fact she'd made a good habit of not noticing much of anything at this point. Her various patrons from the morning on all looked the same, she only remembered them by drink order or table location. Most of the tables had cleared out and the few patrons left were at the bar and Jocelyn was realized she finally had a moment or two to catch her breath. Just as Doc got closer though, she ducked down behind the bar, looking for a clean apron to replace hers with since she'd managed to spill half a cup of coffee on it as she was clearing off a table.

Dropping into a seat with open space on either side, Doc briefly debated whether he should just outright let her know he was here or not. He knew they couldn't exactly launch right into everything that needed to be said, of course, but he somehow doubted that they'd both be up for playing casual until Jocelyn's shift ended. Still, there weren't many other options in front of him, and after a moment to tuck a cigarette in his lips he rapped his knuckles lightly on the bar. "Four fingers of whiskey down here, whenever you've got a moment," he called down towards Jocelyn.

"Just a sec," Jocelyn called up to him, not recognizing his voice right away. She'd found the apron and undid the one she had on as she straightened. With the clean apron draped over one arm, she let the dirty one drop to grab a glass to set on the bar in front of her patron and then turned her back to the bar to reach for two different bottles. "Do you want cheap or my personal favorite," she asked as she turned back, finally noticing who was sitting there. Her breath caught in her throat as she stared at him, a mix of emotions smeared across her face. Placing the bottle of well whiskey back under the bar she poured the Jameson into his glass. "Sorry," she told him, ducking her head to hide some of the flush in her cheeks behind her hair. "Sometimes I get a little too focus when I'm busy being waitress." Swallowing hard Jocelyn raised her eyes to meet his, focusing on hiding the waves of self doubt behind her mask of self assurance used mostly for clients. "Need a light?"

"No apologies, now," Doc chided without any real seriousness, shaking his head at her question as his eyes narrowed on the tip of his cigarette. He sparked a match to life instead of catering to the brief urge to light it with pure will, reminding himself that indulgences like that were part of the reason he came off as arrogant. "It's good to focus on the task at hand," he finally went on, sucking in his first lungful, "Whatever the job, it deserves attention. Especially when it nets me some Jameson." Grinning slightly towards her, Doc raised his glass in salute before taking a drink.

Jocelyn smiled, feeling herself slip into the charmed version of herself she often became in his presence. She had hoped he'd give her a chance to light his cigarette with her own conjured fire, but the trick hardly impressed him like it used to. "This is just different work, hard work," she explained. "When I was working upstairs, you really had to let go of yourself. Especially if you were playing in someone's fantasy. But here, you just focus, everything becomes glasses, drink orders and tables." She shrugged lightly then rested her hands on the bar, leaning into them. Quickly she let her eye glance across the length of the bar, looking futilely for Grayson. As she'd told the werewolf, she wanted to face Doc on her own, but just knowing that Grayson was nearby would have been a relief.

"Juggling variables," he agreed, setting his glass down and tapping the first ashes free from his smoke, "I don't think I'd have the patience with people to do that. Variables, I can do. People who might not know what they're actually ordering? Not so much." Doc's gaze didn't move from Jocelyn as he reached out to settle a hand on both of hers lightly, though he knew they didn't have much privacy here. Still, there were things he needed to say, and he felt like he could here and now. "I'm sorry, Jocelyn. For leaving things the way we did. It wasn't very fair of me, I know," he rumbled, only moving to take another drag from his cigarette.

"It's not too bad. Somewhere more mainstream might be a pain, but a place like this? Half the people who come in here don't want the help around long enough to recognize who they are. And I haven't dropped anything in a day or two." She wasn't completely watching him, knowing that just looking at him would make everything harder than it had been when he wasn't around. When his hand slid over hers, her entire body went stiff. Forcing herself to breath slowly she let her slide to at least try and meet his. "Not fair at all," she told him, trying to keep her voice steady. Grayson had been right, at the very least she'd been justified in feeling the way she had. "I suppose I could have acted better, but you could have done a better job of explaining yourself. Assuming you don't need to is sort of an asshole way to act."

So is taking shots at me, Doc thought but couldn't say, his only visible reaction to her words showing as a little bunching of his tattooed cheek. Still, he made no move to withdraw his hand, switching from smoke to drink with the other and nodding a little as he swallowed a mouthful of liquor. "I had a lot to deal with in that moment," he explained, "Like, say, two women I care about getting a less-than-stellar introduction to each other. And Kurt." Kurt, who Doc had hoped would be strong enough to bear Big Iron, but had gone in search of a different kind of strength.

"That's not an excuse, just an explanation. Just..." Doc trailed off, switching his vices again and making his cigarette crackle as he sucked down the majority of what remained in a long drag. "I know I'm a stubborn bastard, Jocelyn. I know I piss you off with the poker face, the secrets about myself, the distance. And I wish I could say it was going to change." Which was toeing the line of what Doc felt like he could share down here, nearly-empty bar or not. "But at my age? My ways are pretty set. And even if it does, it's going to be a slow process. I need you to know that before you decide if this is worth working towards."

Jocelyn sighed and clenched her hands on the bar. The way he was talking sounded so final. He's ready to end things if he thinks he needs to, she thought as a pain shot through her heart. "You know I trust you, at least as far as most things go. You were clear on how you wanted exclusive you wanted things to be, but this is still new. And who's to say you wouldn't find something better, elsewhere. We know full well I'd be the last to know, I believe in you too much to see anything else."

Unclenching her hands slightly, she fought the urge to increase the extent of her touch. The desire to be close to him was growing steadily, but giving it to it would be the same as giving in to him. "I know you have secrets. I know there's supposed to be space when it's business. But your secrets can't extend to actually physical people in our safehouse, or intermingled with our team. If you bring someone in and you want us to trust them, you have to give us a reason to, you have to explain it in some way. Some concrete way." Jocelyn paused slightly before continuing. "You know I want to trust you implicitly, but your daughter did a damn good job of pointing out that you'd probably wind up disrespecting me for not making sure I've learned as much about the situation as I can."

There went the twitch in his cheek again, fleeting enough to almost make it look like a smile. He was surprised to hear that Kayos had tried to keep Jocelyn from putting him on a pedastal, but grateful too. "You told me, when we were on the beach, that you weren't going to give up. That we'd ground each other out," he reminded her, mindful of eavesdroppers and the fact that Eris could likely hear every word they were saying. "You told me not to make you regret this. And I told you I wasn't going to stop caring... I meant it. But even if I never stop, I know that who I am makes it harder and harder for people to stay close, either because they learn more or because I don't let them."

He sighed softly around an exhaled cloud of smoke, squeezing Jocelyn's hand fleetingly and crushing out his cigarette. "So... all I can do is try, right? Concrete evidence?" he asked, a ghost of a smile flickering across his lips. "Kayos... has secrets that aren't mine to share. But I've known her since she was eight years old. She saved my life the night I met her, and from there on? We were family. And maybe that's not concrete enough, but there's nothing else I can say or do in this moment to try and make you believe that she's worth trusting."

"I'm not giving up Eric, I'm just asking you to trust me. The same way you're asking me to trust you. The perk of having someone you're intimate with is, being able to actually be intimate with them. I know there are things you can't tell me about, but I also know there's stuff you choose to protect me from. You don't have to protect me. I'm young, but look," she told him gesturing to the room they were in. "I've been here over a year. I was raised by witches who have a feud with a vampire. One of my best friends is a werewolf, who's far more naive to the super natural than I am." Twisting the hand that was under his, she interlaced her fingers with his. "You're going to have to work harder on letting me be close. I want to be there, and if you want it too make an effort."

The information, or lack thereof really, on Kayos shed barely any light on the situation, but Jocelyn was perceptive enough to determine that he was being honest with her. "If you don't mind, I'd like to talk to her again. Hopefully she'll be able to give at least a little on her side, so that I know how to shift people's places. With Kurt gone there's a big a hole to fill. I don't even know what she's capable of." Jocelyn wondered if Doc would want Kayos to shift into Kurt's place completely, the person that Doc seemed most comfortable with in a business sense. It worried Jocelyn about where it left her on the team, Grayson as well. "You wanna get out of here?" she asked, eager to both get him alone and talk freely.

"Can you just go?" Doc asked, not touching on everything else for the moment. Here in Babylon, his first concern was what might be taken wrong and what could be used to gain leverage over Jocelyn. Eris had enough of that, and he wasn't going to willingly hand over more.

Jocelyn shrugged. "I've been here all morning, it's calmed down and technically you are my job, not down here. I've just been down here trying to seem as if I'm earning my keep." Her smile was slightly playful. "I can't imagine getting in trouble, provided I continue to cater to your whims."

Not one to argue an opportunity like that, Doc tossed back the rest of his drink in a few short swallows, nodding in agreement. "Well, if you're sure you'll be alright, then definitely," he said with a smile. He wasn't wild about her safety in this place hinging on him, but it was better than the other options they seemed to have, so it'd have to do for now. For a moment, Doc had to dwell on what Jocelyn had said, and how it intersected with Kayos' own words. You're going to have to work harder on letting me be close. Kayos had told him that the other him, the one she'd known, had suffered that same flaw. He'd labored under his work face, had believed that he had to keep himself separated for everyone's sakes. It was a slippery slope. "Whenever you're ready," Doc eventually said, sliding his empty glass forward.

She tossed the clean apron she'd not bothered to put on back on the bar and motioned to the other bartender that she'd be leaving. After putting Doc's glass with the other dirty glasses, Jocelyn looked back up at him. "What did you have in mind? If we leave Babylon, my coat and such are upstairs, but we can always just go up there."

"Let's talk up there," Doc agreed, sliding out of his chair and waiting on Jocelyn. he didn't want to say anything in the moment, but it wouldn't be good if they left the bar to talk and work suddenly hit him. She wouldn't like hearing that, not one bit, but it was a truth of the man. There was always work looming large. Which made him wonder about things he'd discussed with Star, finding a balance. Maybe he didn't find it once and call it done, maybe it was something he had to constantly adjust, like his own tasks that served the world.

"Works for me," she told him, leading the way. With every step up, Jocelyn concentrated on her breathing, forcing herself to maintain her convictions. There was no denying how much she missed him, or how much she wanted to be with him, but it was important to make him understand that she couldn't just be his lover, she needed to be his teammate, ideally his partner.

Following after, Doc's thoughts ran somewhat parallel in that he was strugling to maintain his own convictions. He wanted this sorted out, but to him? It was issues of trust that needed to be resolved. Still, the stairway wasn't anywhere near appropriate to launch into all of that, so Doc held his tongue as they moved upstairs, following Jocelyn into her room.

She pushed open the door of her room, holding it open long enough for him to follow behind, lighting the candles scattered across the open surfaces. "This is about as private as it gets in Babylon," Jocelyn told Doc. She had her doubts about how complete any sort of privacy at Babylon was, as Eris seemed to have a solid understand of almost everything that went on in her home. Jocelyn moved to the center of the room, arms crossed across her chest, watching him come in, waiting to see what he'd say.

Not moving nearly as far into the room as Jocelyn, Doc barely stepped past the door, shutting it and leaning back against it with his arms folding over his chest. It was a familiar pose for him, a minor retreat into himself that ensured space when he needed to speak his mind. "You don't trust me yet," he stated flatly, eyes level on her. "I know that you do in a lot of ways, and it matters that that's there, but..." Doc trailed off and sighed, shaking his head at himself. He always toed around the heart of the matter, and he was aware of the irony in a man like him playing diplomat so often.

"Jocelyn, you didn't know Grayson before the meeting. You didn't know Kurt, or the twins. I introduced you when I needed to, and I asked you to trust each other. The fact that Kayos is a woman who's not my daughter seems to mean that the sight of her set off alarms with you. And I know she's an unknown to you, but I trust her with my life, the same as any of you. So whether you know her or not, playing jealous like you did told me that you didn't trust me. That you thought it was possible that she and I had been... you know," he explained, gesturing vaguely with one hand.

Jocelyn watched him, listening closely. "I'll take responsibility for acting jealous, but you'll have to forgive me that one," she conceded. She wasn't willing to give much but she would give some. "You, unlike anyone else, knows my history. I've been in one real relationship that I had ripped out from under me. I wound up here. Not everyone who walks through the door is far from faithful. Synnove says I put a negative spin on everything, and she's right." I sometimes just don't understand why you'd want me anyway, she thought. Before continuing she took a long breath.

"I didn't know Grayson initially, and I don't know why he and I trust each other so easily. There's just some sort of connection there. I imagine it's similar to what you and Kurt had. You understood each other and I do the same with Grayson," Jocelyn tried miserably to explain. "Not trusting Kayos' arrival has nothing to do with not trusting you. I'm trying to be better at what I do. While you were gone I took your advice, I spoke with Synnove." Jocelyn flinched at the memory. "She pretty much ripped me a new one for implicitly trusting you, for not asking my own questions. So I'm asking my own questions. I realize you trust her, but where did you find her? If you're brining her in to join our team, fine, tell us that. If we're protecting her, fine. We need to know. We can't help if we don't know."

There was a short nod of approval from Doc as she spoke, a faint curl at one corner of his mouth that disappeared before it even solidified. "Asking questions of people you trust is one of the best things you can do," he confirmed for her, "Because if they don't answer them? Time to reassess." Which was setting himself up for a fall, no doubt about it, but Doc believed that wholeheartedly.

"She found me," he eventually explained, "Kayos and I parted ways a while back, I worked solo for a long stretch of time. She knows what's happening, though, that things are drawing to a head here. She knows I'm going to fight it, and she's never been someone to ignore the fight. So she found me." Which left a lot out, but that was deliberate. There was too much there that Doc didn't think he had a right to say. "If she's working with us, it's entirely her choice. I was sent for you, and for Grayson. But she came of her own volition. That's something only she can answer for you."

Finally taking a step towards Jocelyn, Doc's eyes didn't waver from her as his lips pursed intently. "And I know your history, but you know mine too. You know I've closed myself off for decades, Jocelyn. I stopped with you. Negative spin or not, that should count for something."

Jocelyn did her best to take it in. Doc had managed to give her information without giving her information, but at least he'd attempted to answer them. "So she found you. While you were away?" There were more questions to ask, but Jocelyn had already decided she'd have to ask Kayos herself. That is if the other woman would even see her. Perhaps that would need to be an unexpected drop in. "Is she going to be permanent at the safehouse, or somewhere else?" When he moved towards her though, she lost interest in the questions. Sighing lightly, she let her arms drop to her side. "Can you really blame me for being terrified that I'll lose you? That you won't turn as far away as you can from something that might be as good as this feels?"

"That's not me," Doc protested quietly, though he knew she had a valid fear there. "Once, maybe, but not any more. I'm not scared to live my life, Jocelyn, to share as much as I can with you. The only thing that scares me is that it won't be enough." And he wanted to give in in that moment, to pull her close, but Doc resisted. Closeness broke down his logic, it made them both prone to saying whatever needed to be said for things to be okay. We have to face this.

"I won't blame you if the day ever comes when what I can give isn't enough. I won't hate you, I'll just... wish I could do more, be better. But I won't turn away from this, even when it's over." And he felt the certainty there, it was as true as anything could be. In the past, when he'd had to walk away? He'd never stopped loving the people he hurt. It just wasn't ever enough.

"Then trust me," she told him, clenching her fists slightly. "Trust me, the same way you're asking me to trust you. If something came up, I'd talk to you about it. I might seem to know everything like you, but I'm not naive. Even if it's just telling me how you're feeling, what you're thinking, or what's going on. It's not like I can't keep secrets. Plus if you keep holding everything in, it's going to keep eating away at you, faster than the outside world does." Her words were confident enough, but she was wearing a mask. Behind it, turmoil raged inside her, desperate to cling to him, to beg him to stay to not scare her again, to keep her at his side as his confidant. Only her eyes betrayed her disguise, and the reflected her inner thoughts and insecurities. "Please Eric," Jocelyn started softly, her voice faltering slightly on his name. "Stop focusing on when you'll fall short and start making an effort not to fall short."

He shook his head slightly at her words, studying Jocelyn's eyes intently. They did betray her thoughts, and once again Doc ached on an inner level. Even if he could make progress, could do what both Kayos and Jocelyn advised (and smirk at the irony there), he couldn't do everything that needed doing. Which meant, in his mind, that it was a matter of when.

"If you want me to? You need to ask," Doc explained in barely more than a low rumble, "And you need to know that there'll still be times when I can't answer. But I'll do what I can to make those times fewer, to be less Doc and more Eric. I... I'm never going to be caught up on the basics of just being a person, Jocelyn. But I love to study, so it's not like I'll get tired of trying." he finally finished, giving her a slight smile.

"Then consider me asking," Jocelyn said, but her voice was softer than before. Just being near him wore at her, and even though she felt that no matter what she said, what they had already had an expiration date on it. "What can I do to help? I want to help."

To Doc, the expiration date was only limited by her lifespan, or his own luck. But he wasn't psychic, he couldn't allay her fears, all he could do was purse his lips thoughtfully. "Push me," Doc murmured, "Don't let me say I'm going to do this and not do it, for whatever reason. Call me on my shit when it drops... people used to just let me do what I do, lead a fight, say some words, whatever. They trusted me to some extent, and I got puffed up on myself. Hell, I still am, in a lot of ways. So... knock me down a few pegs. I could use it."

Jocelyn nodded taking note of what he said. "Sometimes you can get a little cocky," she teased, but the playfulness didn't raise to her eyes. "Just call next time. What if she hadn't been your friend, someone you trust? But someone out to hurt you, or control you? I need to know that sort of thing before I walk into it."

"I get that," Doc assured her with a nod, "But it's a luxury we don't always have. When she showed up, yeah, I panicked. I honestly didn't think I'd ever see her again, and... well, let's just say I can get some quick height out of these wings when I want to." He smirked a little with the memory, shaking his head before going on. "She followed after me, except she can't fly. So... suddenly she's about half a mile up, she has time to look at me, and she's falling. So what we didn't have time for, as far as trust goes? She made up for with action. It's the Kayos I've known since she was a child. And even if you two never get along? Even with what Syn told you about trusting me implicitly? You can trust her to fight to the ends of the earth for you, whether she likes you or not."

"I believe you Eric," she told him, taking in that there was still plenty she didn't know about Doc. "I'm guessing you were around for at least a little while before I got there though right? I know you don't sleep, even if you haven't have mentioned it. It's hard to not notice that sort of thing when you share a bed with someone. You know full well there was time in there to call. 'I'm home Joce, I brought a friend. You don't have to worry about me anymore.' You gave us phones for a reason."

How did he explain this? How could he without giving away the strange nature of Kayos' presence in this world? Determined to try, Doc huffed in a breath as anxious hands searched his pockets for smokes and a lighter. "Honestly, the ten minutes I had to myself before you showed up were spent thinking of how to explain the fact that I'm a demon to the only constant in my life for the last twenty years," he said in an even tone, looking away long enough to light up.

"She never knew me as War, Jocelyn. She never knew me as a father. Hell, she never knew me as anything except a man who moved at least once a month to track down the next job. So after the two hundred mile-per-hour flight back from Utah? She took a shower, I went out for bagels so I could try to figure out where to start. Believe it or not, not sleeping doesn't free up much more time in a given day." He had to take a step back as he dragged on his cigarette, feeling his nerves rise even if his voice didn't waver. Jocelyn didn't deserve his ire, and he wasn't about to let it spill onto her. "Calling you was literally the next thing on my list."

Perhaps his voice didn't change, but when he stepped away she knew it was a bad sign. Distance between them was never a good sign. "You think she'll treat you differently now? You're more than you were before as War aren't you? You're doing more than you ever were as a hunter." Jocelyn believed in their work, even if she didn't fully understand it. She was trying hard not to just trust Doc implicitly but that didn't exclude her from truly believing in what he'd told her about their work. "And if she was the constant, how did you lose her? Why did she leave you for so long." And why haven't you mentioned her before now, she thought but held her tongue. Enough questions were asked out loud.

His brow lined in consternation as Doc shook his head. "She won't, no. We've talked. But... we used to hunt people like me, Jocelyn. Even if they were decent, we had to plan what we'd do if they stopped being decent. The more power you have, the more chances you have to misuse it. It's why I don't directly involve myself, I don't trust me." 'How did you lose her?' The question made him flinch for a moment, Doc didn't think he'd ever be able to purge the memory of finding her body in Syn's arms. "Sometimes we don't get a choice about who we lose," he said plainly, "All we can do is carry them with us, any way we can."

"Someone had a choice in the matter. Either she left you or you let her go. There was a choice there." It would have been different if she'd died, like Jean had. But Kayos was as alive and well as ever, and no matter how the situation was spun, either she walked away from him or Doc didn't have the stones to follow after her. Jocelyn assumed it was a combination of the two, but leaned towards Doc's reluctance. Jocelyn sighed, deciding that even if she could get Doc to admit that it wasn't out of his control, he wouldn't admit his fault in the matter. "Do you want her on the team? We need all the help we can get, especially if what you say is true. I'm wiling to talk to her and let her know we need her."

"If there was a choice, it was made years before either of us knew what it would mean," Doc explained cryptically. "The real one was her decision to find me." He was on the verge of saying more, of snapping at her about what choices they had when one of them was dead, but Doc bit back the words. They would only lead to explanations he couldn't give, and maybe if Kayos herself said more he'd have a better chance of it all. "She's here because we need her," he eventually said, "Whether she officially wants to work with us or not, we can count on her. But I think if you made the offer, it'd go pretty far with her towards smoothing things over."

Jocelyn was still a little skeptical about smoothing things out completely with Kayos, but she'd learned that Doc appreciated the effort at least. Granted making amends with Kayos would hopefully be easier than trying to see eye to eye with Synnove, so it was worth a shot. Plus it was obvious that Doc planned on Kayos fighting alongside them, then it would be for the best. Provided Kayos didn't attempt to shoot her on sight. "I'll talk to her. Do you know where to find her? I can't imagine she's going to just come if I call."

She wasn't the only skeptical one; Doc predicted that reconciling with Kayos wouldn't be easy if Jocelyn couldn't face up to the core issues at hand. It'd take more than just apologies, but he wouldn't involve himself there. Either her efforts to apologize would be genuine and work? Or they'd fall short, and he'd have to work around a gap between people he cared about. Having dealt with that between the twins and Eva? Doc wasn't eager to do so again. "I can get you her number when you're ready to talk with her. If you call and ask for some time, she'll give it to you."

"Sounds reasonable enough," Jocelyn said nodding. The jealousy was still lingering, but it had drifted from being assuming things were going on between Doc and Kayos and morphed into a jealousy regarding his closeness with the woman. The logical part kept saying not to worry, that eventually they'd get there, it just took time and patience, but the jealous part reminded her that Doc wasn't the type and in the end he might just not let it get that far. "So where do we stand?"

"We're okay," Doc said without a hint of hesitation, finally taking a step back to where he'd stood and reaching for one of Jocelyn's hands. "We've got some work, sure, but we're going to be fine Jocelyn. I believe it. We just have to trust each other, I'll listen when you ask me something, or tell me something's getting to you. And I hope you'll do the same, plus give me a hefty dose of patience." His cheeks bunched in a grin as Doc claimed Jocelyn's hand and turned it over, running a callused thumb gently along the inside of her palm. "I know I'm a pain, I just hope it's worth putting up with. I like this, being with you. I'd be pretty cracked if we didn't make it two weeks. Which, incidentally, is tomorrow."

Jocelyn's demeanor let go of some of the tension at his reassurance. She didn't completely let her guard down, but when he took her hand it wasn't clenched in anymore. "Just remember that we care about you too," she told him speaking for both Grayson and herself. "And I worry about you and miss you when I haven't heard from you in a few days." Taking a small step, she closed more of the space between them. At this distance she was close enough to feel his warmth, but still far enough away. "You are a pain," she teased, a small smile creeping across her lips. "But you do seem worth the effort." Jocelyn reached up, brushing her thumb gently along the bar-code tattoo that seemed to define him so much. "Two weeks huh? Isn't it supposed to be me who remembers those sort of silly anniversaries?"

"When you run as much isolation and celibacy as I do, then yes, you can be the one to remember the 'silly' anniversaries," Doc told her, shaking his head a touch. "At my age? Every landmark is worth noticing." Even if it was only in the sense that they might not make it to the next, which he hoped was wrong. "Jocelyn..." he murmured, worry flashing across his eyes, "You know that if I'm right, if trouble is coming towards us all? There may be times when it's longer than a few days."

She dropped her eyes from his, staring a point where his shirt met his neck, chewing on her lower lip in slight distress. "If you're right," she started, not completely denying his senses, because she did trust them above all, but there was still an inkling of hope in Jocelyn. She was jaded, but when Doc tore down her barriers, there was still hope left at the bottom of the box. "And if you're right, like you said, you may be around but it may be all business." What she didn't say was what could happen. To any of them. How someone could so easily leave and not leave like Kurt did, but leave in the more permanent manner. It didn't need to be said though. It seemed to just linger in the severity of the turn her life had taken. She hadn't seen the danger yet, but the way everyone kept talking had her starting to worry it was just lurking around the corner out of sight. "It could go months or years though, Eric. That doesn't mean the worry goes away. Just like you'd worry if I was the one that was gone."

That was the problem, it could go for that long. And the worry never faded, Doc knew that all too well. Out on the road, hunting alone, he never quite managed to dispel the nag in his gut that he'd be too late to help someone he cared about. In the end? He was right. "That's why we need to trust each other," he said eventually, "Even if it's not implicitly, at least enough to stick together. No matter how long I'm gone? I'm here, Jocelyn. When things get bad, believe that I'll come when you call me."

It hurt, hearing him ask that of her. Didn't he know her trust extended that far and more. Even with the issue of Kayos she trusted Doc. She just didn't trust the other woman. "No matter what I question darling, I won't question that you wouldn't come if I needed you. If we needed you. None of the people who follow you would have agreed to join your cause if they didn't you'd be there when we needed it." Finally she closed the last of the distance, leaning against him with her head resting on his chest. "Don't think I won't be there in a pinch if you need me," she said softly.

"Mmm," he murmured into her hair, nodding slowly, "Now I just need to teach you how to teleport and it'll be entirely true." Not that he could in any case, that was a skill beyond Doc's forte'. He could map out his surroundings on a mental level, could even scry with great effort and focus, but teleportation? He'd never master it beyond the reflexes of his title. "And just as a warning? That's where you'll need to push. I'm legendary at refusing help when I need it. The last time I turned it down I was laid up in a hospital for a while."

"Teleport? That would be fantastic. I'd never walk up another set of stairs again," Jocelyn said with a light laugh. Her breathing was relaxing and the tension was flowing from her body as she wrapped an arm around his waist to pull him closer. "I'm not the best at asking for it either," she told him truthfully. "But since I can't hide my feelings ever, most figure out I need the help before I have a chance to get around to asking for it."

Doc smirked, head shaking as he resisted the reflex to lecture her about that. "It's not that free and clear," he indulged for a moment, "Power has a price and all that." Still, he let himself unwind for the moment, knowing it was fleeting and that it needed to hold them both over. There was more to do beyond the walls of her room, as always, but for just a moment Doc let himself breathe deep. "You're in luck there," Doc murmured, "I'm great at being pushy when I think people need help. In case you hadn't noticed yet..."

"Power always has a price. But what's the use of having it if you can't use it to your advantage right?" Jocelyn nuzzled closer, breathing him in and enjoying the moment. "You are kinda pushy aren't you?" there was a tease in her voice as she shifted slightly so she could look up at him, but remain close.

That? That struck Doc wrong. He understood the logic, he'd been in the spot where he needed the power countless times in his life, but he didn't like hearing it said so plainly. Power is supposed to teach restraint, he thought but couldn't say, chiding himself for the lecturing urge. He wasn't her teacher, wasn't even using the same sort of power. "I can be," he agreed, smoothing a hand over her hair, "Except when I have a full boatload of things to do. Then I try to be pushy in record time." Doc sighed regretfully, leaning down to kiss the peak of Jocelyn's forehead fleetingly. "I... I can't stay, Joce. But soon, tomorrow if you want, I'm yours for the night. Say the word and I'm there."

"Oh, I didn't realize." Jocelyn's smile faded. Things felt better between them, but him running on to other things didn't seem like the right way to end the night. But who was she to question his motives or his business? For an instant she felt more like she was servicing a client than she ever had with Doc. "Tomorrow's fine I suppose. I don't really have plans. Just here or downstairs helping out. Grayson's probably working; we've been trying to work at the same time as much as possible lately." Jocelyn wasn't happy and in order to seem less heartbroken she'd started babbling a little.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, sincerity flickering in his eyes as Doc slid a hand to the small of Jocelyn's back. He hated leaving like this, knowing that he wasn't helping the situation between them, but at the same time? This touched on what they'd just talked about. Trusting each other, keeping faith in each other. "I just... I wanted to see you. We're going to get our time, Jocelyn. You and me, whatever we want to do. You can even bring Grayson, if you can both get the night off," he promised, tilting her chin up to catch Jocelyn's eyes and quirking a smile at her.

Jocelyn nodded, chewing on her lower lip a little, trying hard to be strong under his gaze. She wanted to prove to him she was strong enough to do this, but just being around him brought down her defenses. While most clients and most of the world saw the cool calm exterior she presented, Jocelyn found that the closer she got to Doc the more the insecure girl started to show. At least he'd said what she wanted to hear: that he'd wanted to see her. "I know we will," she told him softly.

His thumb brushed higher from her chin, gently disengaging Jocelyn's lip from her teeth as Doc let some of his hope shine through in his eyes. There was so much to do, but all he wanted in this moment was to stay and work out everything perfectly. But this? This was just step one; he still needed to find Kayos, check in with Grayson, be home for dinner with the twins. And all of that assumed work wouldn't barge in, as if war itself might pause long enough for the man to eat a slice of pizza. "Thank you," he whispered, leaning down and coaxing her up as Doc drew her in for a slow kiss that he knew would prolong his exit.

She saw what she needed to see in his eyes and was able to let some of the pain go, although not all of it. Letting go though made giving in the to the kiss easier and she felt herself drowning in the rush of emotions and desires she'd been holding back since she'd walked into the kitchen a few days before. Forcing the kiss deeper she slid her other arm around him, pulling him close enough to her as if she could melt into him. The last thing in the world she wanted was for him to let go.

It was, as always, dangerously tempting ground to be standing on. His arm wound tight around her back as Doc hefted Jocelyn up and held her snugly against him, returning the kiss fervently. It'd be so easy to just stay for a while, and as much as he wanted to? Doc was a man who distrusted the easy option almost every time. But he could linger for a minute, right? As long as they had before one or both of them needed to breathe, at least.

Surprisingly enough it was Jocelyn who pulled back first, letting the kiss taper off naturally she ducked her lips away from his mouth to keep from starting up again. It wasn't that she didn't want to seduce him into staying, but she'd felt it in the way he'd clung to her, the urgency and desire. Playing into it and using it against him would be wrong, even though she wanted it. Jocelyn had spent plenty of time doing just that, using someone's wants and needs for her own gain and she couldn't bring herself to do it here. It went against the very trust he'd come to talk to her about. She didn't speak, but tucked her head under his chin, resting her cheek against his chest again. He would leave, but he'd be back. He'd promised.

He had promised, and even if Doc figured there'd be more difficult discussions ahead? he wanted to come back. To do his damndest to work things out or at least see it through... she deserved no less. "Call me tomorrow," he murmured into her hair, "The moment you want me around. Unless I'm somewhere else on a job, I'll be here in a flash." He gently disengaged from Jocelyn after a long, lingering moment, shoving his hands in his pockets to keep from pulling her right back in, then stepping back towards the door.

"Don't be surprised if your phone rings the moment I wake up," she offered. It wasn't full of her usual teasing. "I want to talk with Kayos first, but soon enough." Jocelyn wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly cold without him close. "Be careful, Eric."

"I rarely am, but I will be. Promise," he told her with a flicker of a smile. Doc turned to leave before the urge to say more could take hold, slipping back into the hall and moving for the steps back downstairs. Conflicted? That would be him. He had to wonder as he moved his his worry was the internal sabotage he dealt with so often, or if for once it was valid. Whatever it was, Doc refused to let himself decide in this moment. There was something real between them, something vital and strengthening. They were stronger together. He just needed to believe it, to see it through.