little sister help

who: kaysen and isaac
where: isaac's room
when: afternoon

After sending Thom on his way and venting a little bit on paper, Isaac ... didn't feel any better at all. Pretty much worse, in fact. Now, on a normal evening, there was music coming out of his room. Either his own or from his computer, or sometimes both. It was a constant, and something he often left on even when he wasn't there. But tonight? He didn't even really feel like listening to anything sappy. He was just laid out across his bed, eyes open, being more still than he almost ever was naturally. He felt like shit, didn't want to talk to anyone, and was pretty sure this was going to be his life from there on out forever.

Kaysen had kinda noticed that her brother was home, and there was a whole lot of nothing going on with him. Usually there was something. Music, watching tv, being on the phone, bothering her, you name it, but tonight he was all quiet. So, eventually, she went and ventured to his room to knock on the door. "Isaac?" she asked. She had her kitten with her, and tried the door, even if she expected it to be locked.

It wasn't. He hadn't bothered, just in case Thom decided to come back and force him out of his depression. Which he sort of half-hoped for, but ... not really. He wasn't any sort of good company, and he just ... kinda didn't feel like being stared at or pitied. Isaac felt some mild surprise to hear Kaysen's voice on the other side of the door. He would've thought she'd be happy for the peace. "What?" he called back, sounding more down than annoyed.

"Um, nothin." Kaysen answered lamely. Then she came in, and shut the door behind her. "What's the matter? Looks like someone just like, came and peed on your guitar or something." she said. She was eyeing him critically, noticing that he looked depressed. Her brother tended to wear his emotions on his sleeve, and depression was pretty darn obvious. Well, least it was to her.

Isaac didn't move, draped on his stomach with the cheek he was laying on all bunched up. He looked at her, though, not sure he wanted to explain. "Might as well have," he muttered. Which wasn't an answer to her question, but there it was. Actually answering would just make him feel even stupider.

Kaysen made a face at him then walked over to the bed. She dropped her kitten down on his back, then sat down on the floor by the bed. "What happened?" she asked, eyeing him with a look that suggested highly that she wasn't going to go away until she found out. And she could pull out every annoying little sister tactic in the book if she had to.

In all honesty, he hadn't even really registered the kitten until something small and alive was padding around on his back. It felt very weird. But he was dimly glad that she'd gotten what she wanted. At least that was something. "I got told by a girl I really really like today that she pretty much would rather die than go on a date with me. After reciting to me about how awesome I am." So maybe that was exaggerating. But that's how it felt.

Kaysen was staring at him. "...okaaaaay..." she said, frowning. "So she's a dumb bitch who obviously has no taste, brain, or feelings?" she suggested.

"No, she's a very nice, funny, smart girl," he corrected dully, eyes ticking off to some middle distance that wasn't her. "She just found somebody better I guess." Yeah, jumping off the breakwall sounded good.

Kaysen rolled her eyes, then grabbed a pillow from his bed and hit him over the head with it. Her kitten jumped off to the side. "Psh, whatever! If she's so awesome, then why would she pass over you? You're like, mr. popularity, you could have any girl you wanted, and if she's all dumb and can't see that, that's not your problem! You're awesome, her loss. If she's that retarded then she didn't deserve you anyways." she said firmly.

He closed his eyes and took the pillow hit. He felt a flash of irriation. No, he couldn't have any girl he wanted, because every single on he got to wanting lately didn't want to have anything to do with him, or were already involved or something. "Popularity is bullshit, Kaysen," he said, not sounding at all convinced of his supposed awesomeness. "It doesn't mean anything except people don't really know you, and they don't give a flying fuck to bother."

Kaysen looked at him. "Yeah, well people at least want to know you." she pointed out. "Could be worse. You could be me." She hadn't meant to sound so damn bitter about that, but she'd been trying to cheer him up, and with stuff she viewed as the truth even. So for him to say that was painful.

Isaac watched as her kitten climbed over his arm. "No, they don't want to know me," he said, really fighting not to sound snappish about it. "They want to hang around me because they're sheep and they think I make them cooler in other people's eyes by proxy. Or they want to fuck Thom. That's why they don't ever hang around more than a couple of weeks. I'm boring and lame and you have to love me because you're my sister. ... but thanks."

Kaysen hit him with the pillow again. "You're a jerk." she said with feeling. "You're not boring or lame, and if that was really all it was, then you totally would have run out of popularity points years ago, you moron! Cool people don't stay cool without actually being cool or they get pushed off to the side and left behind! You haven't been! You're smart and you're good looking and you're in a band and totally wickedly talented and everything! Quit moping around and being a total asshole with this crap!"

Like she didn't mope. Though he knew better than to point that out. Isaac knew he was being a dumbass, but he couldn't help that gaping sick-stomach feeling of crap. Like everything was his fault for sucking. That was why Jamie didn't want him, because no other explanation fit in his head. She found somebody better, because he was lacking. It all added up. He wasn't sure what to say to Kaysen, and he felt that lump in his throat again, so he just kinda moved his arm over his head. Goddammit.

Kaysen sighed, and looked at him for a minute. Then a few minutes. It stretched out. "You're a good big brother." she said. "You're really awesome and everyone else thinks so, and don't let some dumb girl make you all emo. You're totally better than that. And she just has to be completely mentally challenged not to see it." She stood up, and gave him an awkward sort of hug.

"Yeah," he managed, though it was fairly choked. God he did not want to cry in front of Kaysen. He didn't even do this in front of Thom, and he trusted that guy with everything he had. It was retarded and of course she was right, but ... Jamie. Not mentally challenged. Isaac patted his sister where she came close to his hand. "Thanks."

Kaysen heard how his voice sounded, and internaly hit the 'flailing panic' button. Because ohhh boy. Yeah, this was Isaac. He totally didn't cry. Like, ever. He probably hadn't cried since he was like, three. Okay maybe that was an exaggeration, but she hadn't seen it! What did she do? Go away just in case he was going to? Stick around in case? If she did, what could she do to help? Was she just making everything worse? Cue massive flailing. "You're welcome." she said. "Isaac...it'll be okay..." she tried, not sure if that would make things better or worse. Though at least when it came to him she believed that. Her, not so much. But him? He'd always be okay. It was how his life went.

She could be sweet sometimes. He knew that, he'd lived with her for her entire life. But he also knew that whenever he showed any sort of weakness like this, it massively weirded her out. Isaac wasn't stupid, he knew that Kaysen had him on a pedestal he couldn't always climb up to. He didn't feel so beaten down very often, but when he did, it was all his to bear, he didn't usually get her involved. So ... time to man up. Since his shoulder was convenient, he wiped his face on it and swallowed hard. "Yeah I know," he said, and cleared his throat. It was a bit steadier. "Just ... sucks. Right now."

"Wanna go egg her house?" Kaysen asked. She was almost kidding. "Or I could crank phonecall her. Or...something." I could go sit on her porch and ruin her social life for like, the next month while she tried to convince people she hadn't invited me over. Spread the social leprosy. It was a plan. Not a particularly good one, but a plan.

That actually got a faint chuckle out of him. Mostly because he knew it was genuine. If he said yes, Kaysen would go with him to chuck eggs at Jamie's house. Which would be amusing for about two minutes before he started to feel bad for it. "Nah, that's okay," Isaac said, sounding a touch more normal. He pet her kitten. "Where'd this come from?"

She felt better when she heard him laugh, even if it was just a little one. That was infinitely better. "Charlie gave him to me." she said. "The girl across the street. She said she met you." Watching Edison wobble around and suck up the attention from Isaac, she smiled a little. "She said she couldn't have any more pets or something." Kaysen was still kind of waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under her. But...Edison was still worth it so far.

"Yeah, I met her," he confirmed, looking up at Kaysen's face. That was ... encouraging, maybe? He scritched behind the kitten's over-large ears lightly, smirking a little as it just flopped over and purred in that snorty-kitten way. "She seemed like a nice girl." Please god, let them be friends. She needs somebody, c'mon.

Kaysen shrugged. "Yeah, I guess." she said. She still wasn't sure. Or more, she was still convinced that when school started, Charlie would see what she had meant about people and would like, run for the hills screaming. That was a pretty likely scenario.

Well, that was better than 'hell no, she will hate me', which was Kaysen's usual response to that kind of shit. So maybe ... there was a little hope. Maybe. He nodded and rolled onto his side, propping his head up with one hand. Being careful of the kitten, of course.

Kaysen reached out to scritch him between the ears. "His name's Edison." she said. "You can play with him whenever you want n stuff. If you want to." she offered. "He's snuggly. At least, so far." She knew most cats weren't supposed to be very snuggly, they were supposed to be like, independent n stuff, but maybe this one wouldn't be.

That struck him as really sweet. "They're all snuggly when they're little, I think," he said softly, looking at her. Then he held out his free arm. "C'mere." Yes, sometimes you had to hug your little sister.

She looked at him, then got up and went over to give him a proper hug. She didn't say anything, mostly because everything that came to mind was pretty lame sounding even to her. So--hugs would suffice. Oh! But she did have one thing. "I really love the books you gave me." she told him. Because she'd already flew through one of them and was nearly done with the other. What with the awesome.