Missing Chrissy

Who: Gabe and Thom
Where: MSHS, the gym
When: Late morning

After Peyton left, Gabe stayed in the gym. At one point he wandered around to the memorials for the other students, but he kept coming back to Chrissy's, his thoughts growing darker as he imagined the last few minutes of her life. He hoped it was fast, that it had been as painless as possible. He hated the thought of her running scared through the park, unable to get away, dying in terror. It just wasn't right, and it was made even worse when he remembered that he would become that sort of monster. Gabe sat at the back of the bleachers, staring into space, as that fact sunk in. Every full moon he'd be reminded of her, of what he might do to the people he cared for.

Thom walked into the gym. He'd been here earlier on, but he couldn't stay all day - he just couldn't do that. He felt conflicted today. He'd be here because he couldn't not be. Yes, the girl was dead, but he wasn't crass and callous enough to just forget that they'd had something - even if all they'd had between them was a lie, a fake. He wasn't going to suddenly end that. But still, he felt almsot dirty, carrying it through, carrying on the lie. Even though admitting the truth would be no better. He was trapped in this - there was no way out, there was no right thing to do here. And there was still that guilt, that lingering guilt, that maybe he could have saved her, even though he knew he couldn't - for so many reasons it was pointless to count them all. So, he'd been there that morning, and then gone off to class, and now he was back again, pausing at her memorial before looking round. He spotted Gabe on the bleachers, made eye contact, wondering whether he'd be welcome to go over. Wondering whether he wanted to - given the situation, and given how things were left between them last time. Everything was a mess.

While Gabe expected Thom to be at the memorial, at the same time... he didn't. He'd never understood the two of them together, and eventually had come to the conclusion that he didn't know Thom as well as he thought he did. It was the only thing that made sense, because he did know Chrissy, and had continued to know her up until the weeks before her death. While she'd seemed a little softer, a little more vulnerable than before, she'd still been Chrissy through and through. And she'd been dating Thom, who hadn't been there with her to walk her home... or whatever it was she was doing in the park on Friday night. God, it was stupid. Nate had warned him. Kavin had warned him. And even if he didn't get how dangerous it was at the time, hadn't someone warned her? But then everyone hadn't known, just like he hadn't known... and so he couldn't blame Thom. Gabe sighed and gave Thom a nod of acknowledgment. He might as well try; losing one friend didn't require him to lose another.

Thom gave him a half smile and headed over, sitting down next to him and looking out over the room, before looking across at Gabe. "Hey - how're you doing?" he asked, the question about the other guy's welfare foremost in his mind, a natural step for him.

Gabe really wished he had a better answer here, since 'shitty' didn't seem to cut it. "Better," he said, figuring that was the most accurate without describing just how bad he'd been on Saturday. "But not great. I keep expecting her to start bitching at me for--" Gabe paused, then laughed bitterly. "--for anything. For not putting on a good enough show. For not wearing all black. Some crazy bullshit that I'd put up with just to change reality."

Maybe she'll come back as a ghost... Thom thought, then decided very firmly that he could not say that. Not only would it be wildly inappropriate, it just wouldn't be funny if it was true. And it was fucked that he was thinking that it could be true. Totally and completely fucked. "Yeah, I know what you mean," he admitted instead - honestly, in fact. He could imagine Chrissy doing the bitching part and he wasn't, in fact, happy she was dead. He was incapable of that.

"How're you holding up?" Gabe asked, turning the attention away from himself. He had to give Thom the benefit of the doubt. They'd been dating, so it made sense that this would hurt him, regardless of the fact that they seemed like an odd match. Gabe and Chrissy hadn't even been together, had faught over half the time they were in each other's presence, so it only made logical sense that her current boyfriend would have been on better terms with her than her ex.

Thom paused before answering, knowing he wasn't as cut up about things as he probably shoudl be, but he couldn't lie and pretend to be devastated like his heart had been ripped out or anything. Anyway, they'd been meant to have been dating - nobody said he had to be madly in love or anything. "I've been better," he admitted in the end. "I - wish I knew what happened," he added. Again, that was honest. He figured werewolf, but he didn't know. There was so much unsaid, nothing was entirely certain, after all.

Gabe nodded, thinking that they'd all been better before this happened. Chrissy wasn't the only student to lose her life; she was just the one that effected Gabe the most. "She was attacked," Gabe said, remembering Kavin's phone call. "She was in the park and one of those-- those things got to her." Even if he knew it was a werewolf, that didn't mean he could say it. He didn't need Thom thinking he was crazy on top of everything else.

Thom nodded, allowing the generic term of 'things' to stand. That could mean a thousand things, of course, but he wasn't going to start talking about what he did and didn't know and did and didn't suspect here. Especially not to someone who might look at him like he was crazy-insane for even thinking 'werewolf' outside of a horror movie. Then again, with everything else that had gone on here in the last few months, Thom had to wonder when the general populace was going to wake up to the reality of what he'd known was real since he could remember.

"Kavin found her. Saw her. He called me Saturday morning," Gabe said. It reminded him that he really should call on Kavin, who probably had never seen a dead body before that. The guy had to be traumatized, even if he hadn't been all that fond of Chrissy. "Any idea what she was doing out?" he asked, looking to Thom. There hadn't been a party that night, but then it didn't even have to happen late. As soon as the moon rose, the werewolves would have changed and then all was fair game.

Thom shrugged a shoulder and looked down. "She'd wanted to go out," he told Gabe. And what Chrissy wanted, she got - whatever it took. "Didn't want to stay home." And he hadn't tried to talk her into it. He'd been too afraid of getting into why he couldn't go round to her place, or why he didn't want her round at his, or why the hell she should do what he said anyhow. And so the only argument they'd had was based around his refusal to take her on a date that night, not why she shouldn't go out regardless. He should have known better.

Gabe nodded, in agreement with the silent fact that Chrissy got what she wanted. Apparently Thom hadn't wanted to go out, hence the reason Chrissy had been alone. Gabe wanted to ask why Thom didn't warn her, but how was he to know? Gabe had been warned, but he hadn't understood. The same could have happened to Chrissy. Besides, Gabe didn't want to place fault at the moment. It wouldn't do any good and it wouldn't bring her back. "I'll miss her," Gabe said softly, then smiled a little. "She'd like that."

Thom chuckled a little. "Yeah, she would. Though I think you could also say she'd expect that. From a lot of people. Things will definitely be different around here without her," he added, thinking that over. Very definitely different.

"Different," Gabe said, unwilling to elaborate on if that was a good thing or not. He didn't want to think that way, as if Chrissy being gone was good for the populace. Death was never the solution, no matter how much other people hated her. "At least I knew what to expect with her running things." And, with Chrissy, he'd had an ounce of control. He wasn't sure that would be the case with whomever was next in line... and he was sure there was a line.

Thom hadn't really thought about it that way. He'd seen the gap she'd left, but not considered that someone may try and fill it. And his first thought when it slapped him in the face with Gabe's words was for Kaysen - would whoever tried to step up be a threat to her? He'd have to watch, and watch closely - would have to ensure that if anyone got that idea, they learned quickly that it was a bad one. "I hadn't considered that," he admitted, after a moment or two.

Gabe didn't think Marquette was special in the way in which it's high school operated. From what he'd seen, there was always at least one girl who ran the school, sometimes an entire clique of them. There were the guys that stuck around them, but it was the girls that really had control. With Chrissy gone, that spot would be empty, and he was willing to bet it wouldn't take long for someone to fill it. "Every girl wants to be queen," Gabe said, rolling his eyes. "The one that gets the crown is usually the one most willing to climb over everyone else. Think Em will step up?"

Thom smiled slightly. "I don't think Em ever really went away," he said, knowingly. He was a fool, but he didn't let go that easily. He'd tracked Em silently - just like he tracked Leija now. Once a girl got him, on some level, she always had him. "Em - Chrissy... They moved in slightly different circles. Same game, different grades, I guess. I dunno." It was the reason he would never really have gone for someone like Chrissy, why it had been so unbelievable to people. He'd lived through that already, and rejected it utterly.

"Seems to be that type of girl. Cheerleaders. Dancers. The ones that can't live without attention," Gabe said thoughtfully. They were the type of girls that easily caught his eye, but that was all. The relationships never went any deeper, no matter if it was a single date or a several month affair. "Guess we'll have to see."

Thom shrugged. "Lot of them around. I dunno - it'll be strange, things changing." Odd. Off balance. Thom suddenly realised the truth behind the maxim 'better the devil you know'. He'd have to have his ear to the ground in the next few, watch what was going on, how the circles shifted. He'd have to know.

Thom wasn't the only one who'd be watching. Gabe knew that being on the good side of the girls that ran the school was vitally important. They could make life easy for you, or they could make it a living hell. Due to the fact that he'd dated Chrissy, Gabe had fallen somewhere in between; it just depended on which the day. But it had been easy to work with, once he got the hang of it. Chrissy hadn't been as hard to manipulate as she seemed. A new girl, though... that set him off balance at a time when he needed every ounce of normality he could get. "I guess we'll just have to see," he sighed. This was a wait he wouldn't mind. They could take all the time they needed, since he needed his own fair share as well.

This felt weird, sitting with his apparent girlfriend's ex and discussing the social hierarchy of the school now she was gone. But, it could have been worse - they could have been discussing her directly, that would have been just downright uncomfortable, he knew. But, then again, what did you talk about at a time like this? Everything felt wrong, it always did. "Yeah," Thom agreed, after a moment or two, leading forward and resting his elbows on his knees as he looked out over the gym, at the people coming and going, oddly quiet.

Gabe didn't know what else to say himself. He didn't know how to talk about Chrissy with Thom, didn't understand their relationship, how deep it was or what she meant to him. And even if he did understand, that might only make it more awkward. Gabe hadn't been happy with Chrissy and wasn't sure he understood what kind of guy would be happy with her. He'd never thought it would be Thom, but it wasn't something to pry into now that she was gone. It didn't matter what kind of relationship either one of them had had with her, the point being that they'd both shared a part of their lives with her. And now she was gone. There was nothing to say that would change that fact. Sometimes silence was what was best.

Thom let the silence drift, happier with that for the moment. Somehow a companion in all of this helped, even if they were both likely feeling very different things. At least they were both directly affected by it. After a few minutes, though, he turned his head, looking once again at Gabe. "I take it you're planning on going to the funeral?" he asked. He hadn't heard a date yet, but he figured it would be in the next couple of days.

The funeral. Gabe knew that was going to be hard, to say goodbye. "Yeah," Gabe said. "My mom talked to her mom, but the date hasn't been set." He wasn't going to go to the wake, since most of the people he connected with were here, not her family. Her family had never been there, had barely ever been around. He didn't want to think about the fact that she was probably out because she didn't want to be home alone. "You?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna go - her mom said she'd call when she knew when things would be. It's... everything's a mess. police and everything." Fat lot of good that would do. Like the police were going to find anything. Like the police were even going to acknowledge the possibility of werewolf attack. He knew that much from his mother. Just like he knew Chrissy's body hadn't been released yet.

Gabe was quiet again. This week was going to suck. He'd been hoping Charlotte's Halloween party would cheer him up, but if Chrissy's funeral ended up on Halloween... well, that just seemed morbid. Which meant they'd likely push it to Thursday, All Saint's Day and his eighteenth birthday. It seemed selfish to be upset it, but did they really have to wait that long? The more drawn out it was, the harder it seemed to be to move on. "It's all fucked up," Gabe muttered. "They're not gonna find anything."

Thom laughed, humourlessly. "No, I know - but guess they have to go through the motions." With his mom being who she was, and with the upbringing he'd had, he'd learned a lot about the importance people put on 'going through the motions' as he grew up. What people needed to normalize their world, make them feel safe, make things make sense.

"It never gets easier," Gabe said. He'd done this before and, even if he wasn't as close to Chrissy, that didn't seem to make it any easier. He had the answers this time, knew how Chrissy died... and it still hurt. He didn't know if it was better or worse with a death this gruesome. "This year's been... rough." He couldn't even remember how many deaths they'd had in their high school this year, but he was pretty sure that even one was above the norm.

"Yeah, it really has," Thom agreed, his voice far off. It really, really had - ever since this summer, ever since everything had kicked in. He'd just like to go back to last year, when everything was simple - was that really too much to ask?

Gabe glanced at Thom, but didn't really know what to say. He felt like he should make an effort to cheer Thom up, that as Chrissy's last boyfriend he was probably in a worse place than Gabe was, but... there was nothing that was going to make it better. Everything just seemed to get worse, people kept on dying, and the explanations he had only made things more confusing. Knowing it was a werewolf definitely didn't help, reviving the fear that he might do this on the next full moon.

Thom let the silence drift again as Gabe didn't have a reply to that and he knew he was coming across as maudlin. Everything lately just seemed to be going downhill, and nothing he did seemed to improve that. He didn't feel like anything he did made the slightest bit of improvement. Hell, even dating Chrissy apparently hadn't helped any in the way he'd wanted and maybe if he hadn't been, she would have actually been somewhere that wasn't going to get her killed. But, he couldn't live his life by what ifs. He just had to decide what he wanted to do with his future. "Everything just feels so hard right now," he mused, eventually.

"It gets better," Gabe said, attempting to pull himself from his funk by being optimistic. "Right now, it just hurts. But the pain dulls and you find yourself stronger than you were before. Able to handle more. Hold on to positive memories and let the rest go. Take the lessons learned and use 'em. Make it worth something." These were things he'd always tried to take away from losing Cynthia, never suspecting he'd have to do it again. While it didn't hurt quite as much, the same principles applied. Gabe just had to convince himself of what he was saying, which was harder than it sounded.

"Thanks," Thom said, honestly, grateful for the sentiments, even if they didn't apply the way Gabe thought they did. "I - haven't had to really live through something like this before." Just the unfortunate loss of other school friends. Which wasn't something any of them had to live through either. "...God this place is fucked up right now."

"Welcome," Gabe said, trying to give Thom a small smile. "I've... kind of gone through this before. You get past it. It just takes time." He knew that wasn't incredibly comforting, since neither of them could speed time along, but at least there was the promise of moving on. "I'm starting to worry about the norm here. Gets more twisted every day."

Everything had always been twisted, as far as Thom was concerned. It just hadn't always been the norm. Why hadn't he given her anything? It wasn't like he couldn't knock up a protection spell in an afternoon. He'd handed out bracelets like candy during the vampire attack, but he'd just had this block when it came to Chrissy this time round - he'd not wanted to encourage her at all, and giving her presents would have done just that. His own pride had got in the way and now she was dead. "It does - it really does. After Lullaby's death, I didn't think we'd see any more this year. But there've been - god, we must be into double figures now this semester." Which was just terrible, truly awful.

"Think there's anything we can do?" Gabe said, trying to think back to before the werewolf attacks. His friends had told him to stay in, but even with the precautions he'd been out just enough to get bitten. Leading up to it, all he'd known of were animal attacks. The reference to Lullaby's situation just threw him off, since he knew she was... not dead. Or whatever she was. Alive might be accurate, but that still confused him in a way. He didn't want to think about the logistics of her dying and coming back, but not being a zombie. It all felt about as real as the bite on his shoulder.

"Be careful going out at night?" Thom suggested, keeping his advice vague. Somehow he didn't think 'invest in some good books on defensive magic and a big knife' would go down too well. "maybe take some self-defence courses," he added in there.

Yeah, right, was Gabe's mental response, though he nodded anyways. He was pretty sure that self-defense courses wouldn't do shit against a werewolf. Silver bullets might be better... which was a rather sickening thought, coming from him. Maybe they should all carry tranquilizer guns from now on out. "Makes me wonder if the animal attacks will continue." It wasn't the full moon, so they should settle down, right? Except that they'd been going strong leading up to the full moon, and Gabe still didn't understand why.

"I think they're done with, for now," Thom said. But then again, from what he knew of werewolves, there should only have been attacks on the night of the full moon, and they'd been attacks fitting the pattern before then, which had been what had had him confused about them all in the first place and questioning whether they were, in fact, werewolf attacks. There seemed to be little question of that now though. It was over with until this time next month.

"Maybe," Gabe said, since he wasn't so sure. He needed to check with his friends that knew something about werewolves to understand what was going on. Even then, they might not know more than he did. "I think the best we can do is hope and be careful." It seemed like a plan, and he'd feel ten times better if he had a plan.

"I'm not sure hope will get you very far. Being careful can't hurt though," Thom said, sounding resigned. Things were going to shit, things were still going to shit. Right now it just felt like a question of 'what next'.

"Hope's never a bad thing to have, Harkin," Gabe said with a hint of a smile. "Don't plan on every day being doomsday. Though, I guess, if you do, you can always celebrate making it through another day." That would definitely put another spin on things. Not necessarily a positive one, though.

"That's one way of looking at it, yeah," Thom agreed, though he thought personally that he was almost glad he hadn't been truly involved with Chrissy - if he had, he might not have taken that sentiment quite so equinamicably as he did. He looked back out over the gym, then back at Gabe. "I should get going, I guess. Classes," he added, though he knew that for him people would be understanding if he decided they were optional today. For lots of people, that would be the case today.

"Yeah," Gabe sighed, though he didn't move from his seat. Going to class would prove useless when his mind was mush, so he thought he'd continue to hold vigil at Chrissy's memorial. It wasn't just her death, but all that came with it; he just couldn't explain that to everyone. So few would understand. "I'll see you around," he added before his eyes turned back to Chrissy's portrait. She would dominate his thoughts today. Once again, he thought she'd like that.