Missing Returned

who: ten and caleb
when: early afternoon
where: caleb's room

Noon had gone by the time Tensiel arrived back in Marquette. Both she and her truck were covered head to toe in dirt and dust, her usually pale skin was aglow with an early stage of sunburn, her longish brown hair was tied up in a scrappy ponytail to keep it off her hot neck.

She was also biting her lower lip rather hard with nerves, but telling herself that this was still what she was going to do. Dorian's house was still exactly where she'd left it, and after giving her trusty truck a patting and promising to come out and wash it she walked up the side towards Caleb's window.

She paused and then knocked, the sunlight bouncing off the pane making it impossible for her to see anything but her own reflection in the glass. The knocking was because she had run away, and had given up her right to just come in anymore. It seemed that this was how she should be if she wanted to come back.

She just hoped Caleb was there. And that he didn't hate her.

Caleb did happen to be there. He'd been trying to get some more rest in before he was going to go be social, and wondering where Ten had gone. Then there was the knock at his window and he sat up, blinking outside at her. Opening it up, he sat back so she could climb in. "Since when do you knock?" he asked, rubbing at his non-black eye.

Blinking against the change in light, and the weird feeling of being indoors again, Tensiel climbed in without noticing the dusty smudges her fingers and soles left on the painted windowsill. Just hearing Caleb's distinct voice again seemed to make her feelings spike - but she didn't know if that was good or bad.

"I thought maybe you'd be--" she started to answer turning to him and making her eyes focus. Which meant she saw his cut forehead and his black eye.

Tensiel went quite still, then looked down to make sure her hands were in her lap and not going to touch him and make him upset, then looked back at him.

She didn't think he'd answer her if she asked what happened. Or why. But she couldn't help asking-- "Who did that?"

"Mathias and I were out, there was a fight." he said. "...not with each other so don't go yelling at him." he added, just to head that off. "Where've you been? There was a note for you, but I saw it on your pillow...what happened? You okay?" he asked.

The longer Tensiel looked at Caleb, the more injury she saw. But she didn't want to look away, because she had promised herself that she would not run from things any longer. At the mention of Mathias she had the unfortunate certainty that when she saw him he wouldn't have a tenth of the hurts that Caleb did and that it would turn out that he had left his brother somewhere dangerous just to satisfy his curiosity (Tensiel had played that game with him before). She forced her thoughts away from that though, one hand lifting to rub at her dirty neck. "I went driving," she told him vaguely, suddenly unable to look him in the eyes

He sat up fully, half cracking his back and he leaned against the wall, ignoring the twinge his shoulder gave. "All night?" he asked. "You seem really kinda...different, what's going on, Ten?" he asked. First she was gone all night, then she knocked...he wasn't sure what was up and his brain was having a little trouble coming up with answers for him. So he'd had to ask.

Tensiel was realizing from the lack of reaction when Caleb mentioned that she had been gone all night, indeed, from the lack of scolding and worrying when he had opened the window too - that Caleb hadn't really realized she had been gone. Or if he had, he hadn't (for whatever reason) cared. The second option was suddenly too painful to consider, and the first was the emptiest realization Tensiel had ever found herself having. She had worried last night, about if he was mad at her or if he was upset or if he was looking. It hadn't been fun, in a way, it had been awful because she had been so angry with herself... but now she didn't have to be, because he hadn't been any of those things.

It was a very hollow relief, and she felt bad for letting it be. But she wasn't the one who was hurt just now, that was Caleb, so she tried to push her own problem out his worries. "I just needed to go away for a while," she said quietly, making her eyes look at his, checking at the same time to make sure they were still brown. "But I came back, so here I am. Are you... do you need help with anything? I still have my first aid kit and... and stuff."

"Why'd you have to go? I just got back this morning. There was a note left for you, but you must have left before you got it." He rubbed again at his eyes, careful of the bruised one. "No, I'm okay." he added. "But...I feel like I'm missing something, what's up? Did you leave-leave?" he asked. "Some of your stuff was gone." But not all of it, which had made him think she had just been gone for a night or something. Which hadn't really stopped him from worrying, but then again, he'd been gone all night, he hadn't known til about an hour or two ago that she'd been too.

The empty feeling in her belly filled a little as she watched him. If he had been gone too then she guessed he couldn't have noticed, really. "I just..." she swallowed a little, then rubbed at her own eye. "...I felt sick. In here," she reached up and pushed her knuckles a little against her chest over her heart. "So I left, cos that usually makes it stop. I left. Only I didn't really think I meant it til I got to Ontario. And then I did mean it. And then I didn't. And then I got some coffee and went to a yard sale. Canada's nice, but uhm... I wanted to come home." She fidgeted her hands a little in her lap, because her voice had gotten a bit thick on that last word. "You probably should be mad at me."

"Ontario?" Caleb said, now fully sitting back upright again as he stared at her. "You went to Canada? What the...did you leave?" he asked, this really sinking in now. "Jesus, you just took off? And meant to...and without a word?!"

"Ah, there we go," Tensiel said, because there was the being mad at her she'd just mentioned. It was so strange though, because she'd been nervous about this all the drive back and now he was looking at her like that - and was probably going to say and look much worse - all she felt was relieved. As though a wave was crashing in slow motion inside her chest, and it kind of showed on her face. "You would have stopped me," she murmurred quietly, watching him with her blue-grey eyes. "And I did say 'bye', you were just asleep."

"I thought you were going to work, and yeah I would have stopped you." Caleb said, frowning hard at her. "Jeeze, you would have just...taken off like that?" And she came back. Remember she came back. It seemed like a small consolation considering he had the sick sensation of having missed a stair going down a flight.

Tensiel watched that frown and knew she should be feeling bad, and guilty, and things... and she did. But they were small feelings compared to whatever unidentifiable lightness was hovering higher inside her the longer she sat with him. "I always used to before," she admitted, with her characteristic small shrug that meant she didn't quite know why what she was saying mattered. "But I... it just made it worse. And I know I don't see you lots, cos I'm always at work or something's happened and that's not fair or being a very good friend I just... but I said to you I would look out for you and I meant it. I said I'd try, and I thought leaving was maybe..." she didn't finish the sentence because she couldn't tell him she'd thought it was a way to keep him safe without explaining why. She plunged on, "I need to be here to try."

"We don't have to see each other lots to be friends." Caleb said carefully. "And you're still...I know if I ever wanted to talk to you or anything you'd be around. I hope you know that about me." he continued. He felt like he'd just missed something very painful, and was still trying to get past it. "So be here. I was...well, there's a movies thing with some...friends, I guess. Today, and I wanted you to go too. Maybe meet some people you'll be going to school with and all that." he finished.

"School?" Tensiel echoed, then realized she had forgotten. "Oh..." Then she tilted her head a little curiously at him. "Friends?" For some reason which she perhaps shouldn't let be obvious that fact struck her as... incongruous with well... like she'd just said she was gone all day most of the time at work so what did she think he did with his time? Just drew in his sketchbook or walked? (Though each time she asked, that was what he'd said) There were other people their age in town so why wouldn't Caleb be their friend too? But... why hadn't he ever said before? How had she missed this?

Suddenly Tensiel got the impression she had been missing something important, something she suddenly wanted. It was probably her fault, she just didn't know what she was doing... but she wasn't running away.

"That would be really nice," she told him with a small smile. "Thanks, Caleb... oh, wait a second!" She turned and scrambled lightly out the window again, then was back a few seconds later with something heavy and square that she passed to Caleb soon as she was back in. It was a leatherbound sketchbook with a lot of sun fading on the spine and back, but the paper inside was still heavy and good. "I found it at that yard sale. For your drawings."

He took it and blinked, then smiled at her. "Really? That's...very nice of you, thanks, Ten." he said, opening it up to look at the paper inside. As far as he could tell, it was a damn good sketch book, and it was kind of the first time anyone had actually encouraged his drawing. So he appreciated it, and that showed on his features. "I really like it. I hope it didn't cost you that much..." Because it really was rather nice.

A smile for that which was much clearer than the previous ones had been. "Yard sale, remember? I got Dorian a book too but it has writing in it, I figured you could fill your one up on your own." It made her happy that bringing that back made him happy, especially if he was all sore and beat up. Tensiel was still worried about that, and more than a little uneasy because she could all but feel that there were more hurts under his clothes.

She still didn't think she'd earned back the right to ask to see, or to help, but all the same... "Caleb, are you sure you're okay?" she asked him again.

He looked up from the book, and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." he told her reassuringly. "I mean, sore, sure, but I've had worse, and it's nothing that wont' heal." he added. He sounded very much like he was telling the truth, because he was. As far as he was concerned, he'd be fine.

Tensiel nodded, still looking at him seriously. The hurt at the idea of him being in pain or danger didn't go away, and it wouldn't. Mathias was going to get one hell of a troubling from her when next they met. If he was lucky he would get to keep both his eyes. She glanced to the door, and then back to Caleb. "Does Dorian know? Because... it's kinda obvious, but maybe uhm..." she was trying to offer to help him sneak it past his brother again, like with the stitches on his back, but it wasn't quite so easy this time.

"Yeah, he does. Look, he's really upset, and Math and I just...it's nothing big. Just happened, it's over, I'm fine, he's fine, it'll be okay. I promise, okay?" Caleb said. "If nothing else, at least I got to know him better. I hadn't done that yet in my life, so..." he trailed off, shrugging. "It's okay."

Tensiel paused for a long, long moment. Just looking at Caleb and being both grateful to see him and very aware of the uncertainties she had about being around him in her own heart. It wasn't just the reasons she had tried and failed to leave; it was the reasons she had felt like the world had slid away from under her feet a few times around him.

For just then though, she decided not to say anything about her own previous experience with Mathias. Not because she was worried about hinting there was something paranormal about herself, but because he seemed to think it was an important thing about his relationship with his brother and she didn't want to intrude on that.

Family was family. So Tensiel kept her mouth shut and just nodded. She looked at him sitting up in the bed and realized that he must have been tired, and maybe she had even woken him up. "D'you... I can let you sleep," she said a little bit lamely. She didn't want to leave his company, but he was entitled to whatever he needed to feel better in himself from her.

Friends did that for each other... she was sure.

"You gonna be around when I wake up?" he asked. "I think the get together's later...like...fiveish or so. You'll be around?" He really thought she should go, and he was going to call Leija to go as well. Who knew who Journey was having go, besides his friend 'Lulu' whoever that was.

"I won't go anywhere," Tensiel promised, getting up off his bed and crossing her arms to hug herself slightly as she looked at him. She missed her wings being out so much now, but it was the price she had to pay for this.

"Want me to come wake you up for leaving on time?" Her eyes found his familiar brown ones, and she told herself simply that it wasn't too high a price.

He thought, then nodded. "Please." he said. "Maybe around three thirty? Then I'll bring you down to Journey's, and you can hang there while I go get Jamie, get to know people. And um...if you ever do decide to leave again, can you warn me? I'd rather you didn't, but I...it would have been really awful for you to just have said 'bye' while I was half asleep then just never see you again. I'd hate that."

Tensiel didn't know who Jamie was, or Journey, or why it was better she get introduced to one but not the other, but she was trying to learn and so this would be okay. She trusted Caleb...

...which was why her eyes finally did drop when he did call her out properly over going like she had. She nodded and her hand rose to rub at the back of her neck as she looked down at the carpet. "I know..." she said softly, glancing up to him then straight back down. "...s'why I came back."

Caleb looked at her for a long moment, then smiled faintly. "Well...good. I'm glad you did." he said honestly. It was too weird to think about, her disappearing at random. Would have been awful for him. He'd probably never have stopped wondering what had happened to her. So much better that she'd come back.

Everything Caleb had just thought, had also gone through Tensiel's mind the previous night - despite all the other thoughts pressing on her. She tried to smile back but it didn't entirely take, so instead as she opened the door to his room she glanced at him and bit her lip slightly.

"I would've written you," she said very quietly, because it didn't matter so much anymore because it hadn't happened. "I wouldn't have totally..." she sighed and shrugged a little, giving him a sort of wry and embarrassed look. "Guess now I never have to write it down."

He was mildly relieved that she wouldn't have disappeared with no word, but... "...I'd rather you didn't have to write me." he told her. He thought it was important she know, since he wasn't sure she did. He wanted her to stick around. He still had that urge to protect her, and well, couldn't do that when she wasn't there. Besides. He'd miss her.

Unsure of what to say to that for a moment, Tensiel just looked at him. For some weird reason she thought of her truck's radio suddenly picking up frequencies without an aerial, and then she managed to smile at him and nod.

"I think... me too," she managed to answer. Then she leaned her head a little against the door's frame. "I'm sorry, Caleb."

Part of her thought it would have been kinder and smarter to lie to him once she knew he didn't realize what had happened, and hadn't had time to worry. It was a way of getting away with everything scot free, and then not having this odd strain in trust between them. But she had said to herself and to him she would not lie so... here they were.

"I'm sorry," she repeated.

"It's okay." Caleb said, laying back down again, and setting the book she'd gotten him carefully to the side of the bed so it wouldn't get stepped on or otherwise. "I'm just glad you're back." he finished, giving her a little smile. "See you in a little bit." he added, tugging the covers over himself, and feeling like he might actually get some sleep now. Wouldn't that be novel.