Morning Drop-Ins

Who: Doc and Jocelyn
Where: Babylon
When: early morning

It was too early for a drink, even if Doc was hanging around a bar. He'd returned to Babylon not long after opening, a safe and quiet spot for most people, but one that was giving him some anxious feelings as he waited. At least there'd been coffee to occupy him as he composed his thoughts, though really? No matter how much time Doc ever had to prepare, it always seemed wasted when he actually found himself in the moment he'd been waiting for.

Somehow, he didn't think this was going to break from that tradition; he was here to see Jocelyn, to let her know of the options he'd worked out with Eris. And he thought the door he'd finally stopped outside of was hers, but was she even here? Had he missed Jocelyn's return at some point in the night? Only one way to find out, Doc told himself with a deep breath, reaching out and knocking lightly.

Jocelyn was awake. Not so much for getting up early but more for not sleeping and being up for most of the night. After her run in with Billy she'd felt energized enough to wander around town some more, and like Eris said do some shopping. Mix that with the fact that she'd gotten the tiniest bit lost, she'd managed to wander back into Babylon later in the evening and skirt past most of the familiar faces downstairs. Jocelyn had avoided Eris, who must have been in her office, which was good. Being around the woman after their morning conversation was bound to eliminate the calm exterior Jocelyn had obtained while wandering around Marquette.

So here she was, dressed in running shorts that weren't ever used for running and a fitted tshirt. Her hair was pulled back off her face in a loose ponytail and she had a mixture of books spread out around her on the bed. The insomnia, which was probably a result of her schedule typically kept for work, had sparked an interest in looking over new spells and four books later she was finally able to translate them. Not to mention working this hard kept her distracted from thoughts of Doc. The knock on her door just as the sun started to shine through the window in her room caught her off guard. Who is here at this hour? Being that it was Bablylon though, it could be anyone. "Come in," she called, pushing herself up to a seated position in the middle of her bed.

The door eased open with the soft pop of the handle, Doc's head appearing moments later as he glanced in and aimed a grin Jocelyn's way. "Hey," he said in a quiet voice, mindful of the time, "Am I catching you before your daily jog?" The smile was contained somewhat, hopeful but not wanting to glow her way without knowing what came next. Doc was trying his best to take Syn's advice, to go for something he wanted, but it was hard to do without knowing Jocelyn's own thoughts in the time since he'd seen her last.

Seeing Doc's face at the door took the wind out of Jocelyn's lungs. Just the sight of him and his grin was enough to make most of her fears about what Eris' had said melt away. How could she have ever doubted him? Her logic caught up with her heart though, just because he was back didn't mean he felt the same way about her. Somewhere in the midst of all of it Eris was right about some aspects of her situation. She bit down hard on the inside of her lip to try and keep all of her thoughts off her face, especially the ones desperate to hurl herself into his arms. In the midst of all of it she realized he'd asked her a question about running. Why would she be running? The shorts. Her smiled was as controlled as she could muster when she answered. "Hey you. And no on the run. I only run if I have to." A million questions for him hurled through her and she had to bite her lip again. She waved him in and asked the simplest one. "What are you doing here at this hour?"

"I'm here to see you," Doc answered easily, gesturing with the mug he'd brought up and tilting it back to finish the last swallow of coffee. "Seems like a pattern I'm establishing, really. Here late or here early, you're a good reason to bring me out." He moved inside the door fully, leaning back against the frame of it and folding his arms over his chest as he watched Jocelyn. Were they echoing uncertainty off of each other instead of passion this time? He knew that he felt it, for certain, and it seemed present in Jocelyn's subtle mannerisms. "I was hoping you'd have a little time, I wanted to stay and talk yesterday... figured maybe today could work just as well."

Jocelyn wasn't able to hide the flush when he mentioned her being a good reason. The idea of being a good reason to do anything was beyond her. She wondered briefly which part of yesterday he'd hoped would work just as well, but didn't ask because it felt too forward. Odd, considering the last time she met she'd managed to seduce him. "All the time in the world," she answered, starting to clean up the books scattered about. The effort to not stare at him leaning in the doorway like that was almost killing her that she had to keep her hands busy. "I'm on a work...break sort of thing." In an instant she was conscious of her appearance and felt embarrassed. "Do you want to sit or something?" Why was he making her so nervous?

There was nothing for Jocelyn to be self-conscious of, not from where Doc was standing. The shirt and shorts weren't an unwelcome sight, but he wasn't going to let himself get distracted by her obvious beauty. "Yeah, I can sit," he said, moving from the doorway to the chair near Jocelyn's desk. He intercepted her en route, settling his hand at her back fleetingly and dropping to sit. "I, ah... I spoke with Eris. And you have some options, Jocelyn, based on what you might want to do."

The world might have fluttered in and out of focus when he touched her. Ok it did, but that's putting it lightly. Jocelyn barely heard what he'd said about options, but returning movement to her body was more important at the second. Get it together, she told herself. "Eris?" She'd regained movement and sat on the edge of the bed facing him. "Options?" Jocelyn was turning into a silly little girl in the presence of this man and he was going to end up hating her for it. She took a deep breath and did her best to gather her senses. "I have options?"

"You do," Doc reiterated, eyes twinkling with good natured humor as he watched her settle across from him. And maybe one hand strayed as if to reach for her, but he didn't let it get far. If he couldn't control this? He'd only disappoint Jocelyn, and lead her into this task for all the wrong reasons. "I need to ask... what do you want to do from here? Do you like having a room here? I know it's safe, but is it where you want to be? because your options all depend on that, and I'm willing to listen to whatever you might be thinking."

Did she even know what she wanted? Besides crawling into his lap, which was very tempting at the moment, she couldn't be sure. Isn't that Eris said? How could she know after just a few hours? "I don't know." It was a lame answer but it was what she was feeling. "I like it here, I guess. I mean it's my home and it has been for some time. It's safe, yes. But I'm not as sure as I was." She paused and bit her lip again. "The other day, that was...Something entirely new and I don't know why. I couldn't see myself going back to work again. It didn't seem right." Mentally she kicked herself for admitting that. It seemed so vulnerable. "I'm almost certain I want to work for you. But I can't leave here." Her gaze, although it had never been on him just near him, dropped to her feet. "I don't have anywhere else to go."

Syn's advice loomed large in Doc's mind in that moment, countering his urge to just offer her the spare house that he and the twins kept for emergencies. It was in his nature to want to help, to draw Jocelyn close, to promise that she was doing the right thing. But all he could let himself do was reach out to tip her chin up, fingers lingering on the curve. "If you really wanted to go, I'd help," Doc said with a nod, "But if you like it here? Good. This place will keep a lot of the trouble out." Doc sat back as he considered everything else Jocelyn had said, smiling wide for a moment.

"It's not my place to say? But I didn't like thinking of you going back to work," he admitted, "What happened... it's been a while since I let myself have a night like that. And it's not something I just do." To him, it had meant more than Doc could easily explain, but that definitely fell under 'rushing things'. "What if you could stay here and... only have one client? One who had to come by regularly and you got to keep the way things are here?" Doc asked thoughtfully, the hesitance and the flash in his eyes leaving little doubt about who that might be.

She knew exactly who he meant. She didn't believe it, but knew who he meant. Jocelyn was excited, but confused won out. The idea that he'd be willing to make that sort of commitment it could mean a multitude of things. Some were wonderful things, others were less than glamorous but sacrifices to her dignity she might be willing to make just to be close to him again. "You...you would do that? Why?" The question was more than just the surface question. She understood that it wasn't his nature, but it wasn't her nature to assume that he wanted her, but to assume he wanted it. Why would he make that sort of sacrifice? Why would he pick her?

His answering smile was faint with the knowledge that she might not want what he was offering, that maybe all that had changed was Jocelyn's perspective. It didn't have to be him, she just wanted the routine to change. "It doesn't have to be me," Doc said first, shaking his head with the concession, "If there's someone else, or... I don't know. But it's not like that's the key point." The smile grew a little as he considered the 'why' of it, and Doc leaned forward, eblows resting on his knees. "I want you in this, that's why. Even if all we're doing is working together? You've been in the strange side of life for a while now. You're sharp, you're quick, you can read people. Or... you're pretty good with me, and I've got a good poker face."

Reaching up to scratch his beard in the absence of both a cigarette and a drink to fidget with, Doc was fighting his own confusion in this moment. "You're crucial, Jocelyn. To what I do, yes. To me too. I... I want to try. I don't want to scare you off with any of it, but I like thinking maybe there's more of a reason to you and I than what I do. If it was just work, there wouldn't have been a morning after."

Jocelyn's heart had clenched when he'd mentioned the option for someone else and she was sure for a moment that he'd just been telling her that to get her join up with him. Then he kept talking. In an instant she realized what he was saying, meant he was feeling the same thing she'd been feeling. It was her he wanted, her he needed. Her eyes finally raised up to his for the first time since he'd walked in the room. Tears were brimming but she didn't care. "How could it not be you?" The words caught in her throat and everything else she wanted to say, she couldn't.

Even with a life promoting balance, a defender's instincts were hard to shed. He wanted to dry her eyes before a tear even spilled, but once again? Doc didn't want to plunge them both too far, too fast. "Well, I didn't know who there was before last night," he teased quietly, sitting back and urging her towards him with an outstretched hand. "And... you don't know me yet. So maybe it wouldn't be me once you did? But I'm willing to risk that, to just fill in the gaps if you can too." And maybe that was a bad idea? Doc didn't think so, though; his secrecy had always worked against him in the past. It gave far too much room to justify his insecurities.

Jocelyn let him take her hand and pull her towards him. "I know enough Eric," she answered softly. "You've got scars that most don't have, ink that's got real meaning and a face that says you've seen more than any of the pyros who came before you." She paused, feeling the tears starting to fall. "And I'm willing to tell you whatever you need to know from me."

Willingness was good, given the price Doc would be paying for just this opportunity. And he was trying not to fear it; Eris seemed more like she genuinely needed the information than anything, twisting him with it seemed unlikely. But it warmed him to know Jocelyn was every bit as ready to try, and he showed it with a light tug of her arm to guide Jocelyn over to his seat. "Right now, you've told me plenty," he assured her in a low voice, wiping at her cheek once he had her settled. "It may change five minutes from now, or tomorrow? But if I can ask? Then I'll handle it when it changes."

Leaning in to rest his chin on her shoulder lightly, Doc's smile edged itself with nerves that felt weak but were still present. "And there's one other thing you need to know," he admitted in a murmur, "Before you meet the others, so it's not a shock... I have two kids. Twins. Teenagers. They're going to be there when we meet everyone." And that fact? Well, that had to play a large role in Doc's own insecurities regarding the age gap between himself and Jocelyn.

"Kids?" Jocelyn shouldn't have been surprised, but he hadn't struck her as the type to settle down and have kids. Twins though. And teenagers. "And by teenagers you mean 13?" Her voice didn't seemed shocked, more curious. There was some anxiety there but not so much in the age gap which was obviously an issue. She was more concerned about what they'd think. And what their mother would think. "And their mom? Divorced?"

"More like nineteen," Doc clarified, soothed with how she hadn't withdrawn and settling his hands loosely at Jocelyn's back, arms at her waist. "Their mom and dad both passed on a few years back," Doc explained, not minding the fact that he was a surrogate father. He'd been more of one than their real father. "She and I worked together for a long time, and when she retired? I promised I'd be there if she or they needed me. So... I stepped up. We needed each other, I think," he mused with a contented expression.

Relief washed over her, the idea of an ex-wife made her just a little nervous. It made more sense to her that Doc would take in two kids who'd lost their parents rather than having his own. "Nineteen?" she asked,leaning back to see his face. "You realize that's only six years younger than me right?" She was smiling, a joking tone in her voice. Insecurities from how he felt about her were starting to fade and she was starting to feel more at ease. Even with this interesting news. "How old are you darling?" she teased, taking his face in her hands to rub her nose against his. "And tell me they are both boys."

Doc laughed quietly, cheeks flushing just above the edge of his beard as his eyes shut. He didn't fight the closeness, savoring the gentle contours of Jocelyn as she leaned in close, but the pet name was unexpected. It wasn't bad, it had just been so long since he'd been in this spot. Unbidden, memories of Eva calling him 'caro' flashed through his mind, but Doc didn't buy into the guilt they carried. She'd wanted him happy, had stressed that in the days after he'd freed Eva from the curse. "Yeah, I realize," he finally answered with a shake of his head, "They've been given full license to tease me for dating a woman who wasn't even born when I started hunting. And I'm fifty-two this year." He watched her intently for a reaction to that. "And no, one's a girl."

Leaning in closer, dipping her face to kiss his neck softly, she answered chuckled. "I wouldn't have guessed fifty-two." She kissed him again. "You're far too spry to be twice my age and then some." Jocelyn leaned back again looking at him thoughtfully. "You've told them about me? How did she take it?" There wasn't a need to ask how the boy would take it, especially if Doc was their surrogate father. At the very most he'd probably be amused or jealous but that would be it. The girl on the other hand could be a complete handful.

The praise was enough to keep the flush faint on his skin, drawing a pleased flash across his eyes. His powers had kept him strong and agile, and if he'd chosen a more peaceful life? He might have been able to pass for a man of thirty. Hunting, however, had definitely taken its' toll over the years. "She was... encouraging, actually," Doc answered, "I think you'll like her. She's wanted me to have parts of my life that made me smile for a long time now, her only warning was that I didn't rush into this." He could admit that much; if Jocelyn wanted to stay at Babylon, the major way they could rush was off of the table.

She was relieved again, and although still a little wary, eager to meet the twins. It briefly made her think of her own siblings and how much she missed them. Usually she left little space for thinking about them. "I like seeing you smile too." There has been something else there, something about rushing things. It felt like something had been left out. "How could you rush things given the tone of the first night darling?" The term was one she hadn't used since before she lost most of her accent, so it still had that southern twinge on it. Perhaps it was a little forward to use, but it felt right.

It was somewhat forward, but no more so than the fact that she already knew his real name. He'd come to her as War in the service of the balance, had found something bright and fascinating, and left the next day as Eric. "Technically?" Doc asked, reaching up to smooth his hand along Jocelyn's hair and down her neck, "I think that first night was rushing, but I wouldn't go looking to change it." Which was the truth; both the exultation and the uncertainty that Jocelyn provoked in him were so fresh and foreign that Doc wouldn't sacrifice either. "So... there's still one work-related thing I need to get out before I can let myself enjoy this," he added ruefully, "If you still want the job, that is."

The question had been artfully dodged, but she let it go. Whatever it had been it would come out in time, when he was ready. Just like on her end, the knowledge that something she'd thought had died in bar in New Orleans eight years ago, was coming to life again. That was something she'd keep close until she was sure about him. "Of course I still want the job. What do you need?" Something about his tone said it was something he'd need, rather than something he'd ask.

Reaching for Jocelyn's hand, Doc took it in his own and brought it up between them, turning it to kiss the palm fleetingly where he so often marked those who chose to stand with him. "I need you to be okay with bearing my mark," he murmured, letting her hand fall away as Doc kept his tone even and gentle, "It's nothing dangerous, nothing that'll harm you. It says to angels and demons that you're sworn to me, that crossing you means crossing me. And it'll let me come to you if you're in trouble, anywhere in the world."

Her eyes fluttered lightly with the kiss on her palm; it hadn't escaped her that it was the first time he'd kissed her since he'd arrived. "Your mark?" Jocelyn wasn't hesitating she just wasn't sure what it meant. "Visible?" She thought of the vines crawling up her back and glanced to the barcode on Doc's cheek.

"Invisible," Doc corrected with a smile, leaning in to Jocelyn playfully but holding back from properly kissing her. The giddiness was what he was supposed to be careful with, he couldn't give into it while his tasks and duties went unfinished. "Though if you decide you want some more visible marks, let me know. I've got a few updates to do for some of mine." Apparently he was thinking of the vines at her back too, fingers dancing up each point of Jocelyn's spine slowly. "This is just the symbol for what I do, at the core. I can hide it anywhere you like, even..." he teased in a low, promising voice.

"Here." She tugged the neckline of her shirt low, exposing the upper portion of her chest. "Over my heart." It was rash, but it was imbedded in real feelings. For a women who'd used her body for a multitude of things that were rooted in little feeling, pledging her body was useless. Pledging her heart though, that meant something. It meant everything.

Was it rash of her? Doc might've agreed, if he hadn't known people who'd fought to the end with him because of one shared night, one chance to save each other. To him, the strength of a bond wasn't dictated by the time spent first creating it. So Doc just smiled gently, coaxing Jocelyn in for a soft, aching kiss as he brushed his fingers across her exposed chest, feeling for the strongest point of her heartbeat. "It might... tingle," he warned in a whisper, tracing the demonic symbol in slow passes of his fingertips as a low buzz of power began to crawl from his hand to her exposed skin.

His kiss was so inviting she found herself drowning in it and deciding it didn't last long enough. Jocelyn had nodded when he told her it might tingle and bit her lip against any impending pain. There was a minimal prick, like the first prick of a tattoo needle, but after that warmth as whatever flowed out him, flowed into her. Although she couldn't really see it, she could feel the trace of the mark as he traced the shape on her skin. She could feel something that reminded her of him, his scent, his skin, flow through her. Not quite Eric, but the other side of him. War.

One of these days, Doc would want to ask Star herself how she did all of this. As it was, his own approach was a mixture of his willworking lessons and pure instinct. When duty called, he simply said 'yes' in his mind and went where it took him. In moments like these? He focused on the idea of 'mine' and recreated the symbol his hell-forged pistol bore. What else might he be capable of? It was a question for another time, and one Doc wasn't even really considering in the moment as he slowed both his touch on her skin and the press of his lips, fingers caressing one last time before Doc sat back slightly. "Welcome to the fold," he murmured, grey eyes ticking down to where he'd marked Jocelyn so he could watch the rune fade.

Jocelyn's head was spinning from the mark and the kiss. There weren't any decent words to say, especially with her thoughts so fuzzy. "Thanks," was all she could mumble. Her hands tangled in his hair as she drew him closer. "Any more business?"

"Always," Doc answered with a grin and a sigh, savoring the feel of her fingers on his hair, "I'm never off the clock, really. The moment something is about to happen, or needs to? I'm there." And that was, he supposed, why he'd had the need for sleep removed; War couldn't show up looking prestigious in his boxers with the fuzz of sleep in his eyes. "But right now? Well, I'm here, aren't I?" he asked, slipping his arm around Jocelyn to stroke the small of her back.

"You are here," she mused pulling him in so their foreheads touched. "But I'm afraid I have business. You told me I can stay, and I can have just one client. I know Eris, she doesn't strike an easy bargain. What did you have to give her?" There was more Jocelyn needed know before she agreed to this, before she took just him into her bed. Working for Doc was one thing, she felt that she was meant to do that, but agreeing to keeping just one client? She needed to know how much of that hinged on her, and where it left them. An exclusive business partnership or something more?

She'd been amenable to many avenues of discussion, unsurprisingly. Doc had laid out plenty of options Jocelyn could take, Eris had told him their costs, and in the end he'd decided to try the simplest first. It was just luck that it had been the option she'd want. He wanted her safe, and shy of moving her in with the twins or Kurt, this would be the safest possible place. "Information," Doc murmured with a little shrug of his shoulders, hands releasing Jocelyn as his arms went slack and his coat slid free. "She wanted to know what the job was. And if something comes up in town that affects her, I let her know." There was more, but it wasn't anything that would threaten this, it could go unspoken. "She's got a stake in town, same as me. I respect that."

Jocelyn pondered the deal he'd made. Eris would start with just information about the town but probably push her limits the more Doc needed Jocelyn. Getting Doc into this mess made her worry. "Are you sure this is what you want?" She stroked his cheek gently. "I don't have to stay. I can find somewhere else to go. I can...go back to work if need be." The sigh was small but it was there. "If I do stay, and take in only you, where does that leave you and I?"

"This is what I'm willing to do, yes," Doc answered without a flicker of doubt in his expression. Even with his chosen handful of people, he knew things would get too big eventually. He'd need to know who else could be trusted to care enough to act, in that scenario. But the things Jocelyn was suggesting coupled with the brush at his bearded cheek to make Doc sigh quietly. "Jocelyn... I'm not going to judge you on what you used to do, or what you're willing to keep doing. I have no right to. But... if you chose that, I don't know there'd be much room for this sort of moment. I'm not someone who shares well." Which hurt to even say, but he wanted her to know where things stood before anything this wonderful got to be familiar; if he was going to lose it, Doc wanted to lose it when it'd sting less.

"I'd feel safer with you here, and I think you'd feel the same way staying here, right?" he went on, rallying with a firmer tone in his voice, "As long as you have the freedom to leave when you want, to not see a client you don't want, then yes. This is a deal I'm happy with. All I want is for you to have the choice, the control of your own life." Of course, there was still the one big question in there, the last one she'd asked. It shouldn'tve been as big as it felt, but it would dictate the terms of them working together in a lot of ways. "Counting you, I've taken four lovers in my life. Just four. It's not something I do lightly, so what happened... it mattered. Even if tomorrow had been goodbye, it meant something. But I don't want to rush anything you're not ready for, or shatter what's still so new. So... us? I don't know. Maybe we should just see where it goes, and be honest if one of us is confused. Where did you want it to leave us?" Doc asked finally, turning the question back around on her.

Four. The number scared her. There was absolutely no good reason for it to scare her but it scared her. How could she measure up to that? Jocelyn chewed on her lip, thinking about what he'd said. That he demanded their relationship be exclusive was a shining point, even if she felt it was forcing him into a situation that wasn't ideal. Doc, if anyone, could understand what had happened those years ago, when she lost Jean and watched her world turn on one end. "For a long time, working here didn't bother me," she started. "Most of that is because the part of me that could love bled out on a sidewalk eight years ago. I let it die when Jean died." Pausing to catch her breath and try and stay the tears that the memory brought. "So yes, there have been many, but only one I cared about. The other night though...whatever that was that was gone, it came back." Jocelyn raised her eyes to take in his. "As confusing and risky as it may be, I don't want to walk away. I can't walk away."

There wasn't an answer to his question in there, not a plainly spoken one. Between the lines, though, Doc knew what she'd said. She couldn't walk away, so she wanted to be here. Something had died inside, and now it was rejuvenated. Really, it was the only sort of healing Doc had ever been a part of, and one wholly different from his powers. "Tell me about him," he requested in a soft voice, reaching up to cup Jocelyn's cheek in the palm of his hand, his thumb light on her cheek and ready to catch an errant tear. "Jean." Doc knew how much it hurt to remember the dead, that fact was plain in his eyes, but he wanted to see where she'd focus. The loss? The happy times? How her life felt without him in it?

Her eyes lost focus as she let herself slip into the memory. "Jean was...perfect. Tall, handsome, rich, loving, still infused with his French heritage. We'd met at a dinner party our parents both forced us to go to. He was well on his path to becoming a lawyer, inheriting his father's firm and doing like old money does in New Orleans. I loved him in that raw, pure way that only a seventeen year old girl can love. He was my first everything and my whole world." Tears over Jean hadn't been shed since she'd left home and now sitting here with Doc they were falling again. "I was on track to fulfill my family's expectations of me, getting married, carrying on our bloodline and I was going to marry the man I loved. Everything was as it should have been. But the night before, I felt the wards I'd set on him blink out. I knew long before anyone told me he'd died that he was gone.

"I didn't leave my room for two days. I sat there, crying, holding my wedding dress, watching the wedding flowers wilt." Jocelyn took a deep breath to calm herself. "When I did leave I left that girl who was so full of love and hope in the room. I even moved out of there, to a different room in the house. I didn't want to just pass on the Laurent bloodline and fulfill my duties. I didn't want to stay boxed into one vein of magic. I didn't want to be her anymore, so I stopped being her. I haven't looked back."

There were details in there Doc wondered over but wouldn't ask about yet. He knew that all the wards and power in the world didn't always matter, not against pure circumstance. You could shut out the vampires, the demons, the shifters, but there was no ward against misfortune. And in the end, did it matter how the people you loved died? They were gone, and the world stopped. "I've found in my own life that we never really stop being who we are," Doc said in a soft, thoughtful tone, "We change what we show, but the core doesn't change. It just waits until we need it again, and it's there." That had been his experience, anyway; he'd lived decades as a warrior, a relentless force who moved from battle to battle. Only after becoming War itself did he return to the scientist, the inventor, and the man who let himself show when he cared.

"Maybe that's why I was sent for you," Doc mused, "To help you remember who you were and find some way to join it with who you are now." She'd mentioned one school of magic, after all, and the symbols set in her back? They were flavors of white witchcraft, was that her new territory? Or the old one? Either way, there was a concern there. Whether she now practiced black arts, bloodcraft, or even voodoo, they were all dangerous. But given the toll Doc's own powers exacted, he didn't think he'd do well to pry or lecture just yet. "Whatever the reason was," he eventually continued, "Everything that happened led you here. I'm sorry that you had to feel that pain, I know it personally, but you survived it. You didn't give up."

Jocelyn smiled, even through the tears. Giving up wouldn't be the term she used, but she'd pushed so much of that life away that it was almost the same. Running away was more accurate. Life always catches up with you, no matter how fast or far you run. Doc was right on one point though, all of it, had led her here and she couldn't begrudge fate that much. "I think I told you that the first night we met," she mused softly. "I've been asleep for ages and didn't even realize it." Turing her cheek to lean into his hand she softly kissed his palm. "The pain hurts, but sometimes it's the only way to remember you're alive."

How true that was. Doc had lived a grey and lonely expanse of his life walled away until the twins' mother passed on, and that had hurt like nothing he could recall. But in that pain he'd started living again, being a father, fighting for reasons beyond his own ideology. "I'm just glad you have more to remind you now," he said, watching her turn into his hand, "And lucky that I'm part of it." Really, he wondered how large a part he was. He knew he'd been a catalyst for her, but in time? Doc was confident that Jocelyn would rediscover all the joys of living, and the reasons to keep fighting for this world. There would be new pains along with the joy, of course, that was life. But he didn't think he'd chosen wrong; she would endure.

"You're the best part of it Eric." The comment was soft, but still heavy. There was hurt to feel again, but more than that there was something that was sparking to life in her, feelings that she'd given up on long ago. Reluctant to openly admit to how she was feeling, knowing that it could possibly ruin all the that was so wonderful about this moment, Jocelyn let the comment hang at that.

Oh how he wanted to refute that, to tell her about the women he'd hurt, the times he'd walked away, the walls he didn't think could be torn down. But it would be sabotage, and he knew it. There was no reason to tell her this would end the same as the others, because who said it would? In the life he led, and with the stakes he was facing, the odds were good. But Doc was a man who'd defied those odds for most of his life, and he didn't think it'd be right to stop that now. He just had to hope, to balance the passion of this with a dash of realism to keep from promising things he couldn't deliver. And he had to say something to justify the way her eyes shone at him. "Flatterer," he eventually murmured with a crooked grin, drawing Jocelyn in for another slow, smiling kiss.

For the few seconds it lasted, she let the kiss cancel out the rest of the world. "I'm under the impression there are few who actually do flatter you, darling," she whispered against his lips after the kiss had ended. It was useless to think of where anything more than where just right now would lead them. The odds are stacked against them, even without the current setting, their histories and their chosen lifestyles. Realistically it would make more sense to end it all now, and the part that had kept her safe and hidden for years was starting to make noises about that. What if after getting to know her he decided she wasn't everything he'd hoped for? Or if she couldn't live up to the women who'd come before? But sometimes, it's not worth listening to the paranoia or the insecurity and better to just move with feeling. Casting those worries aside, she kissed Doc again, slowly like the last kiss but with more intensity.

He was too happy to linger there, savoring the soft press of Jocelyn's lips against his and flitting his tongue around. For a man who lacked a long string of lovers, Doc made up for it with intensity. He filled every moment like this with the passion that was normally kept on such a tight leash, letting it celebrate. She made him feel young again, peeling decades away with the slight breaths that slipped from her lips and over his, but it wasn't because of the age gap, or the fact that a woman so young could find him desirable. It was instead a blissful release for a man who truly loved the world around him, all of it's horror and beauty, but whose life dictated that he rarely show that love. "You'd be surprised," he whispered when he finally broke away, "I've got a few people who insist on trying. You, though, you'd better have a legion of flatterers..."

Her laugh was soft and sweet, just short of being a giggle. "A legion? That makes me sound like Helen of Troy." She leaned back a little so it was easier to watch his eyes. "This, sadly, is not the face that launched thousands of ships." Flatterers? Sure there were some, but did they matter? They weren't flattering her, but rather her art, the situation and her...talents. "There have been plenty of things said, but few of them were believed. I'd prefer just one if I knew I could believe him." Jocelyn went back to stroking his cheek, the type of touch reserved for a loved one. "Don't I have people to meet?"

With every passage of her fingers, Doc took a moment to wish he'd shaved the beard off. Of course he wouldn't, not so soon; it would trivialize the grief he'd felt for Eva's departure if he shed his reminder so quickly. And he had to wonder... did she like it? Past lovers had, though he'd kept from growing one for years now. Still, it was a trivial concern, and when the time came he'd shave it off. "Believe me, then," Doc offered with a spark in his eyes, "I'm a shitty liar, for one. I'd rather just say nothing than say something untrue, so if the words come out? I mean them." And really, she was the sort of woman who deserved praise, so far as he saw from where he was sitting. But it was all too easy to see why she wouldn't believe most of the compliments, given her previous employment. "And soon enough," he answered with a little nod, settling his hands at Jocelyn's waist to anchor her in his lap. "And for all I know, we may end up with another new recruit or two before the meeting even happens. I can't exactly predict these things," Doc confessed with a soft smile, leaning into her touch slightly.

His beard felt nice under her fingers. She enjoyed the contrast between it and the softness of his kisses, but it wasn't beyond her to wonder if he'd look even more handsome and less tired without it. The honesty of his statement meant the world to her, but she did her best not to show it. Acting like a silly school girl was not the way to win over an older man who'd actually experienced life and wasn't attempting to back down from it. "Others?" she quipped, tilting her head to the side. "Hopefully you don't plan on bringing them all into the fold the same way you did me. I don't have much ground to stand on, but I'd rather not share you either." Her smile was bright, enjoying the firmness of his hands on her waist and the security it brought.

Doc laughed richly, pulling Jocelyn snugly against him with a little thrill over even that minute claim of possessiveness. "You're the exception, not the rule," he teased warmly, "Mainly because I'm not into men. I was just a kid, but I already lived through the sixties. I've got a pretty clear view of my sexuality." Really, it was hard to imagine any alternatives with the situation he was in now; Doc figured Jocelyn could probably turn a gay man on if she put her mind to it. She'd shattered his defenses so effortlessly, after all. "But yes, others. You, my two other conscripts, the twins, and who knows? Maybe I'll get another local call here." He'd honestly feel better with one more recruit, given that Doc himself still couldn't directly involve himself if trouble showed up. One more would let him evenly group them together, at the very least. "And if I do and it's a woman? Well, I still think you're going to be the exception."

"The sixties? You're showing your age again. My parents weren't even married then," she teased. Sure it was a tad cruel but someone had to keep the age gap in check. If they couldn't laugh about it, they'd never make it. "I like being the exception. Especially the only exception." So at least the two others were men. She wondered briefly if they were all like Doc in their quiet nature, if they were warriors who'd seen plenty of battle or new recruits like herself. There wasn't much need for speculation, as she would find out eventually but it was her nature to be curious about everything.

He chuckled again, one hand tickling at her waist lightly as Doc winked at Jocelyn. "I said I was a kid, remember?" he repeated with a wink, "Too young for all the fun parts of that era, and then I had to endure the seventies." Doc feigned a shudder, already mourning the idea that he wouldn't be able to be so unfettered with Jocelyn around the others. He knew it'd be the case, it always was. When work was on the table, his propensity for smiling shrank down to bare, grim smirks. Hopefully she'd understand in the moment, and if not? Well, this time around he'd work to explain that facet of himself. "And I'm just hoping no one minds you being the exception, really. Sometimes people get ideas about bias in their heads when two partners are involved, you know? And I'll warn you now, when it comes to the job? No special treatment. We'll just make time for that between work," he promised.

She giggled at his tickles, squirming a little. "OH the seventies, how terrible!" Jocelyn was laughing now, enjoying her time with Doc. When she caught her breath, she looked at him closely. "I don't expect special treatment. I'm more worried about living up to expectations. I'm still not sure what I can bring to the table besides what's behind our closed door." Her statement made her wonder about that concept in general. How limited would their interactions be outside of one on one time? Would everything about them stay here in this room or would Doc be willing to let it see some light? "You are planning on telling them though right? The twins is one thing, but the others, they don't necessarily have to know." Shrouding the relationship in secrecy seemed almost natural; so many of her clients had preferred that course of action.

This would be something to work towards, convincing her that he'd made his choice for good reasons, that what was between them was a blessed bonus to what he needed from her as a partner. "Trust me, you'll be a complete and total boon to have on board," Doc assured her with a hand smoothing up Jocelyn's back and an easy smile in place. "You can prepare protections for the others and yourself, if that breathtaking tattoo is any indication. You can do things from a distance if needed, and you know this world, Jocelyn. So if I'm off on my own work? You're the information fount for the others. I know it's a big task, but I think you're up to it." He leaned in as she studied him closely, bumping his nose against hers as his eyes crinkled at the corners. "I'm going to tell them. I don't know when, but I will. Like I said, I'm a terrible liar. As long as no one thinks it's slanting things between us, there's no reason to keep it hidden, is there? It's not like either of us has a reason to be ashamed or worried, do we?"

"Provided no one accuses me of being a gold digger I'm sure we've got nothing to worry about." She wasn't entirely behind that statement because she still wasn't completely sure where they stood. But he seemed eager to give her a good place, a solid standing in the group, and he seemed keen on the more possessive tone their comments had taken on. Granted with him close enough so that every breath was laced with his scent it was hard to imagine tough times could ever come between them. She pressed her lips against his softly. "You don't actually have to leave do you?"

"Right now? No," Doc assured her, all too happy to return the soft kiss with a low murr buzzing his lips against hers. "Sometimes I'm sure I'll have to go unexpectedly, but this isn't one of them. Other times, I just won't be able to help in the crisis, whatever it might be. I have very specific rules to play by at times, whether I want to or not. And really, they're good things." They kept him from, say, tearing apart the city when his temper flared, or pushing so hard that he burned himself out of reality entirely. And when he followed the rules? He got moments of peace like this. "Gold digging? On me?" Doc asked with a laugh, "Only if you're interested in a collection of old t-shirts and records. The only valuable thing I own is my car, Jocelyn, and that's already promised to the twins."

"You didn't strike me as the worldly possessions type." She grinned against his kisses and continued to return them but kept talking in between. "I realize the job has it's demands, darling. I just hope when you popped off unexpectedly you try to find your way back here." She snuggled in closer. "The doors always open if you need to just get away, or re-group." It was almost as if she could sense his thoughts were on how much of a toll the job took on him, but his comment about rules had lead to that.

He sighed with relief at the mere idea, the offer of sanctuary here, nodding in close to Jocelyn in acceptance of the idea. "I'll make a point to," he murmured agreeably, thinking that losing himself here was worlds better than going out drinking or lurking in silence in his bedroom. It wouldn't always pan out; he still needed to be there for the kids, but sometimes? When the things he saw or the events he caused weighed on him? Just knowing the option to rest with her was a real one was invaluable to Doc. "I'll even bring you a souvenier now and then," he teased, leaning back a bit to grin at Jocelyn.

She took his face in her hands, enjoying his smile. "I always like presents," she teased. "And if you need me," Jocelyn started. "I'm willing to come to you as well. I know it's a lot to ask for, but I'm not tethered to this room." Still not feeling like she could fully live up to her end of the bargain as his partner, at least not compared to warriors or hunters or whatever else Doc had at his beck and call. Offering to be his grounding though, she could do that. She could be his humanity.

"It's not much to ask for, really," Doc argued weakly, "I'm asking you and the others for a lot of trust, Jocelyn. If you're willing to give it to me, I need to be as willing to return it. It's part of why I'm holding the meeting at my home." He chuckled softly in her grasp, recalling Kurt's surprise from earlier days. "When the living shadows hit town? Everyone bunkered at my place, it's pretty defendable. But my first sworn, Kurt, didn't even think I was the sort who'd have a family. It threw him when he met the kids." Doc sighed quietly, thinking on how to word it best. "I'm at once very far removed from, and very closely anchored to humanity. There's things I can do that would scare you only in their implications. So if I want everyone to trust me, and what we're doing, I need to show that I am human. That means being willing to call for you when I need help, among other things."

"I can do that Eric," she told him. Eric, because that's who she was talking to. Both the other aspects of him, Doc and War were sides she respected, trusted and in their own way loved, but it was Eric sitting here with her now, laughing and smiling. It would be Eric that she'd fall in love with if she were to fall. "I want to do that for you." In all honesty she needed to do it. The part of her that she thought was dead was coming back to life and it would need time to heal, and being with him, like this was the best way to put it back together. She needed the opportunity to love again in order to learn how to properly love again.

He took a slow, deep breath, basking in the trust he saw in her eyes. This time, Doc was desperate not to screw this up, to give the same degree of trust he was asking for. He would likely always have the insidious doubts in his head whispering that it was just a matter of time, but for now? With her close? He could tune them out. "All we have is a chance," he murmured, leaning in close to kiss Jocelyn's forehead and linger there. It's more than most people get, or realize they have. And whether that chance paid off, whether it worked or not, it wasn't going to be squandered so easily this time, not if anything he'd learned in his time in two worlds mattered.

Her sigh when his lips grazed her forehead was light and contented. There was no denying the happiness that flowed through her in his presence. "What more do we need?" she whispered back. "It's not about how it ends, it's about how you get to the end." It was the mantra scrawled across the locked door to her heart and the only way she had been able to survive Jean's death without taking her own life. It wasn't that she'd lost him, it was that she'd loved him. Out of respect for that love she'd shut it all down, not wanting to taint that love with someone else. Funny really, how stupid that seemed wrapped up in Doc's arms.

It was a mistake Doc could've empathized with, if he'd known she was thinking it. He understood just how loss could drag barriers in place, walls that might not even be acknowledged. And having them pierced? It was terrifying and wonderful at the same time, especially when time stretched out the familiarity of those defenses. It was far too soon to cement any of his feelings for Jocelyn beyond the fact that he felt something, a compulsion to be close and honest. "Wish I could've figured that out at your age," he teased, "It would've saved me a lot of time. But then, who knows where I'd be now?" He'd met others of his ilk who'd had far different roads through life; quiet and contemplative ones spent deducing the power within them. Doc's approach had been different, to say the least, but as she'd said? The journey was what mattered.

"I am wise beyond my years," she teased back with a tone of mock superiority. "Granted, I wouldn't want to change where you are at this moment for the world. I'm rather enjoying you being here." Jocelyn wouldn't change where she was either. It was exciting being on the brink of a thousand new things, that good sort of uncertainty that means the whole world awaits your next move. And all that was ignoring her new suitor.

"Not for the world?" Doc echoed with an incredulous smile, leaning her back securely in his grip and looking down at Jocelyn. Internally, he wondered about that; how often had he done the exact opposite? Every time Doc had pushed someone away, it was for that exact reason. There was always a bigger battle, a war he'd needed to fight that he wouldn't sacrifice anyone but himself to. Now that he was that war, maybe he could avoid that choice. "What about for... breakfast?" he asked playfully, leaning down to nuzzle Jocelyn's collarbone, "I know a great place on Third Street, bagels and coffee. My treat, even."

Jocelyn giggled and caught her hands in his hair as he leaned into her collarbone. "Breakfast does sound tempting..." Not as tempting as dragging him back to bed again, but he probably was ready to get on with his day. The prospect of being outside of these four walls with him though won out. "I can do breakfast. Granted you'd have to let me go so I can change."

Planting a brief kiss past the collar of her shirt, Doc sat back with a feigned groan of strain. "I do, don't I?" he asked, eyes dancing, "That's a Herculean task if I've ever seen one. Luckily, people say I can pull those off sometimes." He was being modest on some level; the stories of his days spent hunting were scarcely believed, some people didn't even think Eric Martens was real. Of course, those stories had largely happened because of his gift to shape reality itself, a gift that did nothing against the temptation of a beautiful woman in his lap. "I can manage if I don't have to cover my eyes," Doc offered with a wink, grudgingly releasing his hold on Jocelyn.

"I imagine you'd give most of the Greek gods a run for their money," she teased lifting herself off his lap. "I also think that even if I told you to cover your eyes, you'd still peek." Jocelyn pressed a kiss against his forehead before crossing the room to her dresser. Away from his touch the room seemed significantly colder than it had before. Out of the dresser she pulled a sweater fitted and a pair of jeans. She tossed the clothes on the bed before pulling the tshirt off over her head and slid the shorts off, trying very hard not to be self conscious of the simple bra and underwear combo she'd put on for lounging around her room all morning. She paused, briefly just long enough to catch Doc's eye and flash a smile at him before she pulled on her jeans and sweater. After a quick peek in the mirror to ensure her hair wasn't a complete mess, she turned to him, palms out. "Do I look alright?"

"Better than 'alright'," he answered as he rose from the chair near her desk, stooping to reclaim his discarded coat and slinging it back on. The old fatigue jacket was a constant, even if it was likely made up more of new material than the original fabric by now. It still felt comfortable and familiar. Dipping one hand into his coat pocket, Doc extended the other to Jocelyn as he felt across the loose contents of his coat. "You look like someone that no one on earth is going to think is with me, unless maybe I'm your bodyguard," he teased, figuring it might not actually be a stretch in this town lately.

Smiling, she slipped on her own coat before taking his outstretched hand, lacing her fingers between his. Her coat was warmer than most of the coats the natives had on at this time of year, but she still hadn't been able to shed her southern roots. This weather was still far too cold for her blood. "I find that hard to believe. You don't give yourself enough credit." Jocelyn leaned in close resting her head against his shoulder. "Plus better, the body guard than my dad right?" Her grin was hard to hide when she tilted her head up to look at him.

He laughed richly, taking her hand and moving for the door. "Absolutely," Doc agreed easily, "The last thing I need is anyone at the meeting saying they thought I only had two kids." And in all likelihood, he'd still hit some issues along the way, both of his own and others'. The gap was just to big to expect otherwise, but Doc was determined to push past it. If he could talk with the kids when he hit snags, or confess them to Jocelyn as they happened? Maybe it wouldn't be a perfect fix, but it'd be better than brooding on his problems in solitude. And that was something in and of itself.

"I've always wanted to be the root of real gossip in town." Jocelyn was more than pleased that he was ready to keep their relationship in the open. Shrouds of secrecy grow tiring after a while, and it's hard to figure out where one part of you ends and the other part begins. For someone who's been spending so long trying to figure herself out, the lifestyle had just led to more confusion; Jocelyn had lost herself in the mix.

She wasn't the only one. Doc had lived with secrets of his own since adolescence, since the first manifestation of his power, and it was tiring in a way that defied words. Recent days had shown him how relieving it could be to shed even a little of that secrecy, so even if he had to keep the majority? Any break was a welcoming one. It was a regression of sorts, really; enlightenment in his new station in life meant remembering how to be human again. "I might have to shoot down the rumors," he told Jocelyn as they slipped from her room, "If only to drink in the shocked looks that say 'she's dating you?'." Honestly? That would be a bit of fun.

Stopping briefly at her door before they left, Jocelyn tapped the protective wards on the door in to action. It wasn't much of anything that kept someone out, it just let her know if someone had been there. She didn't have much to hide, but it was a habit she got into in high school to make sure her parents and siblings were snooping in her room and she'd never kicked it. "I'm personally not eager to have to live through looks of jealousy from all the women in this town. I can only imagine I'm taking one of the town's most eligible bachelors off the market."

Doc laughed once more, shaking his head at that suggestion. "You're one of a handful of women I actually know, Jocelyn," he pointed out, starting back down the hall to the stairs, "And the ones I don't? Well, they only ever see me in the bars in town that no one goes to to meet people." He wondered about the awe she seemed to have, if it was pure flattery or something, but Doc wouldn't argue it right now. Maybe she did see him like that, a prize to revel in. It was definitely that way on his end, and who could blame him?

She squeezed his hand tightly. "Just because you don't know them, doesn't mean they don't notice you. I noticed you, and I wasn't even really looking." Jocelyn did see him as a prize. Age difference or not, genuine attention from a handsome man, as unique as he was, was something she wasn't used to. Doc might have been unconventional in aspects of his looks, but Jocelyn couldn't understand how he didn't leave women dead in their tracks wherever he went. But for some reason he'd picked her, and not just because he'd been called to her. There were plenty of opportunities that night to walk away from this, but here he was, leading her down the stairs holding her hand to show the world she belonged to him.

"That's how you normally find something, I've found," Doc pointed out as they started down and out of Babylon, "Look too hard and you get nowhere, stop trying and you trip over what you're looking for." Which applied to both of them, he figured. She'd needed direction, he'd needed someone to make him feel like he deserved this. Luck was a funny thing like that.