The Other Side

Who: Dean and Thia (guest appearance by NPC Andy)
Where: Dean's room
When: Late evening

It was a strange fact that, although Dean knew full well that Thia was mostly deaf, he still lowered his voice slightly if he was talking around her while she was sleeping. Which she was currently, laid out sprawled on his bed where she'd crashed earlier on. He'd covered her with a blanket and shifted her to place a pillow under her head before heading off to his computer. Now, a couple of hours later, he'd been talking to Andy online for a while.

He could see the guy on the webcam feed, just as Andy could see him. The guy, who was back in England, was sat at his desk in his bedroom, this time alone, though half the time when Dean called, he ended up talking to one or more of his old friends who tended to hang round Andy's place more often than not. Andy had been out, but it was gone midnight over there and he was home again, and it was a little obvious the guy had been drinking. Not loads, but the effects had made him even more garalous, if that were possible. He'd been making jokes all the time they'd been talking about the clearly sleeping girl on the bed immediately behind Dean, ones that Dean had been trying to field - and hope to god Thia didn't wake up to hear.

The jokes had stopped recently though, since Dean had just imparted the news that he might be coming home. That had actually sobered Andy up quite a lot.

"...So, yeah, they're looking into options, but nothing's guaranteed yet," Dean told him. He hadn't left his room since they got there earlier today. He knew there'd been industrious activity from Dean and Sophie, but unless they were going to come and tell him that they could absolutely guarantee it was alright now, he wasn't really interested.

"Shit, that's bollocks, mate. Really," Andy said, sympathetically. "Hell, be great to have you back and everything, but..." He made a show of looking over Dean's shoulder and then back at Dean, smirking. "I'm sure you'd miss... things."

"Fuck you," Dean told him, blowing that off. "Anyway, if I come back, she's coming with me," he added, even though he still hadn't actually told his mum that was even a possibility - the returning home, let alone the 'bringing a fade' part.

Andy looked shocked and surprised at that. "Really? That's... Really?" For once, it was obvious that Andy didn't quite know what to say about that, but Dean could almost see his gears turning over it.

"Yeah, really. She's been living with us for a while now - she moved back in today. And..."

"Mate, seriously - you don't need to explain it to me," Andy reassured him, finding his track again. "I mean, if you want to bring your girlfriend back with..."

"She's not my girlfriend," Dean interrupted him, putting him straight on that again. Though sometimes he had to wonder why he bothered - Andy knew they weren't dating. Dean knew that he only insisted on suggesting they were to wind Dean up and Dean rose to it every. bloody. time. And it just gave Andy the in that he took right then, the one to immediately start in on, since they weren't dating at all, Dean couldn't possibly mind if Andy tried some of that since she was moving to England - maybe - and all. And, really, what could Dean say about that, other than to make vague noises. He had no claim over her, if she was interested, he had no right to stand in the way. And if she wasn't? Well, she was more than capable of telling Andy were to go, wasn't she?

Lullaby came awake slowly, sort of half wondering for a few seconds where she was, and why she wasn't immediately bombarded with skin-crawling bad feelings. Then she remembered, though it was more the Dean-scent on the pillow and blankets that told her more than anything. She made a tiny little sound, and rubbed her eye, pushing herself up on one arm to look around, all sleepylike. She drew in a deep breath and let it out in a rush, still not fully awake, and she looked over at Dean where he was at the computer and smiled. It was a sweet, genuine, 'I just woke up and I'm happy to see you!' sort of expression. "Hiiii." she said, voice sleep hoarse, and she stretched. "I waked up." she added, being particularly cute in behavior, because she'd rested again. It was so nice to get real rest. She tugged her fingers through her sleep-mussed hair, and then crawled down the bed towards him. Yawning again, she got up and walked behind him, arms going round his neck as she tugged him back a bit to give him a snuggly sort of hug. It was kinda only then that she recognized there was a person on the screen. And he was moving. And he was Andy. She smiled and waved.

Dean had cut Andy off half way through a sentence and turned as she stirred, watching her for a moment as she came awake, and then turning back to Andy, promising all sorts of messy ends if the guy didn't change the subject right now. So, by the time it came to hugs and waves, they were chatting away about the latest Premiership football action and how Untied had been doing in their last few games. Dean looked up again as she hugged him and gave her a smile. "Sleep well?" he asked, as Andy greeted her on the screen, giving her a wave and actually signing hello.

"Mmhmm." she said, nodding slightly, and she was still in cute sleepy-smiley mode. "When did I fall asleep, even?" she asked. Then she giggled a touch at Andy signing hello, and she signed back for him. "Hi Andy. Isn't it past your bedtime?" she teased.

"Yeah," Andy said. "Probably - it's late here, but Dean was on, so we were catching up. And you've been asleep since before I got on - which is over an hour now," he told her. "I hear you might be coming to live with us," he added with a grin.

Dean looked up and back at her. "A few hours - five, maybe? You needed it, I think, so I didn't want to wake you."

She smiled down at Dean first, then rested her cheek on the top of his head. It wasn't normal that she was higher than him, after all. "Thank you." she said to him. Then she turned her attention back on Andy, and kind of wondered what to say. "I might be." she said. But if we can help it, we're staying right the hell here. she added mentally.

"Be nice to finally meet you properly," Andy told her, leaning back in his chair, looking the picture of relaxation - and totally ignoring the glare that Dean gave him since he'd flipped things straight back onto the subject that Dean had earlier told him to avoid. Or almost onto that subject. He just didn't like being told what he could and couldn't talk about. "If you come, of course," he added, but only very belatedly, as if that were just a minor consideration and he'd decided it was going to go ahead.

"It'll be nice to meet you too." she said. "And Stu, and everyone else...that I totally don't know the names of because I haven't talked to them on the computer. It'd be cool to see another country, too." she said. Which was truth. But then they'd talked before about kind of visiting England. They just weren't keen on the whole possibly permanent thing. "If it happens." Which, she wanted to know if there were any updates in the last five hours, but figured if Dean was telling Andy about how they might be going there, then maybe there wasn't much. Or nothing positive, anyways.

Dean reached up, putting a hand over her arms where she still had them draped around him, an unconsciously possessive gesture which he didn't even think about, though he didn't actually say anything to interrupt their conversation.

"Well, I'd be glad to show you around," Andy said, apparently ignoring his best friend altogether in favour of the girl as he gave her a smile. "I know some great places that I'm sure that you'd love," he added with clear enthusiasm.

"That'd be cool, I'm sure. Maybe we could all go, I know I would be bugging Dean to show me castle-stuff. Eddie Izzard says they're everywhere so I want to see." she said, trying to think of other places that had been mentioned. And all she could think about was the fact that they'd talked about dead sheep just hanging out in the hills....but she was pretty sure that was just a her being weird thing, and Dean was the only one who wouldn't look at her like she was totally insane.

Andy shrugged, taking this easily. "Yeah, sure, we could get a group together, that's not a problem," he said, easily, managing to suggest in there that he would, of course, be the driving force and organiser in all of that, and getting in there before Dean managed to say a thing - seeing as how the guy had just opened his mouth to speak. "We can do castles and houses and there's some great scenery - loads of stuff. We're where the history comes from, right?" he added, going with her reference.

Lullaby laughed a bit and grinned. "That's what I'm told." she said. "I'm not sure about that. We have history too...it's just...y'know. Written down on cave walls and stuck on reservations with oral tradition and all. It's much less civilized history. Though I think the native americans around here weren't like...the 'hey Imma scalp you and take it home to hang on my teepee's flap' types. Those were farther south."

"Aww, and here was I thinking that I could come over and see scalps on teepees just everywhere," Andy teased. "I guess that's just not going to work on any number of levels, is it? At least this way, I don't have to wait for Dean to finally invite me to come visit," he added, finally and pointedly involving Dean in the conversation, as though he hadn't been purposely saying everything he knew his riend would before Dean had a chance to say it.

"You wouldn't want to come visit here now anyway," Dean told him, resisting the urge to pull Thia down onto his lap - if she wanted to be there, she would have sat down, wouldn't she? But she'd been too busy talking to Andy. And he didn't have grounds to be possessive and jealous, did he. And it was just the petulant part of him that felt like asking if he should just leave them to it. "Just about to start snowing," he added, his voice flat.

Lullaby glanced down at Dean at his tone, that catching her attention more than what he actually said. She gave him a squeeze, and debated something else but she decided against it, considering the insanity of the thought. "He's right, it'll be snowing, and there'll be more snow than you'd know what to do with. And crazy drivers. And yet more snow." Not to mention random outbreaks of supernatural weirdness. she thought. She tilted her head down to peer at his profile, just looking for a second. She wasn't going to ask him outright what was the matter in front of Andy, and she was remembering what Dean had said about Andy before, when she'd been de-glittering him. So she could guess.

Andy chuckled, ignoring Dean's tone completely, but aware of the jealousy there. He was used to that kind of thing anyway, and he was gently amused at the 'back the hell off' vibes he was getting from Dean. Which were pointless, since the guy made it absolutely clear at every possible opportunity that there was nothing going on between him and Thia so, as far as Andy was concerned, the girl was fair game. "Snow's cool - I love a good snowball fight. And I haven't built a decent snowman in ages. Hey, you guys go sledging a lot?" he asked her.

Lullaby only looked back at the screen in time to catch part of that, something about snowmen, and ...a word that looked like 'sledding' but she didn't know if she caught it right. "Sorry, I didn't catch all of that..." she said. "Hold on." She stood back, and turned the chair around so Dean was facing her. She smiled down at him and leaned her hands on the arms of the chair. She didn't say anything so much as gave him a cute 'can I sit down to pleeeeaaase' sort of look.

Dean looked up at her, and immediately acquiessed, mouthing 'like you even have to ask' at her, before pulling her down and resting her back against his chest, his arms going round her. He told himself that he was a fool - that she only wanted to sit down so she could talk to Andy better. There as that urge to go again, rising up, just to leave them to it, but he ignored that. he knew what would happen if he went. This was Thia - no matter what she wanted, she'd follow him out. She'd demand to know what was wrong. Then she'd want to know why he cared and... That was a slippery slope. Best he just stay.

She giggled just a tiny bit when he said that, and she snuggled back against him, happily hugging his arms even more around her before she pushed her foot out against the wall to spin them back towards the computer. "Now...what were you saying?" she asked, leaning her head back against Dean's shoulder, and she ticked her eyes from the screen for a moment to look back up at him, but then knew she didn't want Andy to have to repeat himself a third time, so she paid attention again.

"I said that I love the snow - so much fun. And do you guys go sledging a lot? We don't really have decent enough hills for it round here, there's a shitty little slope up the end of my road, but if you want the decent stuff, you have to travel - and in the snow? Not so much fun," he said, talking easily, directing everything at Thia, again excluding Dean.

"What's 'sledging'?" she asked, then tilted her head back to look up at Dean again, because she wasn't excluding him. "You'll have to explain. This is a british thing again, isn't it?" she asked, smiling at him. "If it's anything like sledding, then sometimes, though I can't usually convince people to go with me anymore." she directed towards Andy, then she was glancing back to Dean again. "I still say we're building a fort." she informed him.

"Yeah, it's a British thing," Andy said, quickly, before Dean had a chance to say anything. And then he was a little surprised as Dean glanced at him and smirked slightly, before looking back at Thia.

"Yeah, we'll build a fort," he assured her, smugly aware that Thia had been looking at him when Andy had spoken, so she probably hadn't heard him - or not well enough not to need it repeating. "And yes - it's a British thing. Sledges are what you'd call a sled. Back home, sleds are bigger and always horse-drawn or that kind of thing. Sledges, tobbogans, they're little situpon things, with string at the front to pull them along or drive them down a slope," he told her, before glancing back at Andy again.

"There's a tobbogan thingy up in Ishpeming." she said. "I've gone before. Kinda rough hill though. I usually liked to go ice skating. But this year...I'm thinking a nice meuseum of crazy snowpeople, and a kickass fort." she decided, mostly directing her comments towards Dean, though she looked back at the screen at the last bit so she wasn't ignoring Andy. At least, not entirely. But he did keep sort of cutting Dean out, or not letting him talk, or something, and she wasn't going to be letting that go on. Of course, they were also talking about things that might not come to pass if they were in England.

"Well, if you come here, there's not usually enough snow to build forts. Sometimes, but not often," Andy told her, a little annoyed at Dean jumping in there, though he didn't show it outwardly. More, he was irritated by the look his friend had thrown him. That wasn't how this game was played. Hell, Dean wasn't even meant to be aware that there was a game. he'd never twigged before. "But there's an ice rink up the road that's pretty good," he told her.

"Aww, not enough snow?" she asked. Then paused. "Would there be enough snow up in the hills? Or not enough snow anywhere at all unless we piled it all up together and stuff?" she asked. Then she paused and tilted her head back again to grin at Dean. "I'm demanding a fort, regardless, you know. If we have to find trees to build that thing out of, we are going to. I will dig trenches. It'll be great."

"We'll think of something," Dean promised her, already thinking of options. Like he was going to turn her down - especially at the moment. Right now, she could have asked for the moon on a stick and he would have said he'd get it for her.

Andy, in the meantime, sat at the other end of the video stream, pretending that he wasn't annoyed at being ignored again as she looked back at him. And, no being in the room, he couldn't grab her attention unless she gave it to him, which made this unfair and almost impossible. It had already been shown that her hearing problems were so bad that if he spoke right now she probably wouldn't hear him, which just left him sitting there like a bloody muppet. "And we'll have to see about snow," he watched Dean add. Right, whatever, a stream of empty promises. Not even well put - god, the boy had no idea what he was doing, did he? It was pathetic, really.

She beamed at Dean. "Yay." she said, then turned her attention back on Andy. "So...do you go...sled..ging a lot when you have snow?" she asked him. Basically, she was wondering how playful a sort he was. She could kind of picture him being the 'I'm too cool for all of that nonsense' types.

"Of course I do," Andy said, enthuiastically, knowing by now that she was the type who'd like that sort of thing. "Dean and I always did that kind of thing together, didn't we, Conway?" Andy asked, finally voluntarily involving his friend in the conversation. "Though Dean doesn't really like the cold," he added. "Probably because he's such a skinny little thing," he joked, cutting through any answer Dean might have had to the question, though doing it in such a way it was hard to take offense to or call him on.

"He's tough." Lullaby said, making a cute little face at the screen. "I'm sure he'll make it. Me too, I'm kinda...littleish." Not to mention five degrees colder than everyone else. Which she still had to wonder about. Would it mean she could take the cold better? Maybe. "Plus there's things like hot chocolate in the world." she concluded. Not that she was sure if she could get Dean to drink any...but it was possible! He'd eaten pizza and everything. Which reminded her...and she paused, leaning her head back against his shoulder again, and she started to clear him of the negative bits in his system.

Dean opened his mouth to say something, but he was cut off by Andy again. "Yeah, you must be tiny, all petite and cute," he said, toning that to sound like a huge compliment.

"It's late," Dean said, abandoning what he'd been going to say in favour of just ending this now. He'd had enough of this. "You should probably get some sleep, you'll wake up your parents and you know how they get when you've been drinking," he added, pulling the 'I know you as well as you know me' card on him, since Andy had been playing it all night.

Lullaby blushed at the compliment, and might have said something, but then Dean did, and he was apparently saying goodbye now. And apparently, Andy had been drinking, which she hadn't known. "Goodnight, Andy." she said, waving at him, just going with what Dean said, basically. Besides. Andy was alright and all...but he still rubbed her the wrong way a bit.

Andy gave his friend a look, but then Thia was saying good night and he didn't want to get into an argument about things. Anyway, Dean was right - his dad would have a fit if he found out his son was drunk again. "Yeah, I should - night you guys," he said, agreeably. "Oh and, hey, Thia - I've missed you. Maybe you and I could talk again sometime soon?" he got in there.

"Sure, Um...probably not this week, but email me or something, or get ahold of Dean, and I'll let you know." she said, nicely non-committal about it. She had valid excuses and everything. After all, if things didn't work out, she'd be over there. "But go to sleep! You don't want to get into trouble. Goodnight." she repeated again.

"I'm going, I'm going - but you haven't told me you email address!" Andy protested, pulling a puppydog face. "Come on, let me have that and then I promise I'll be good and go straight to bed..."

She'd figure that he'd get it from Dean, and then vaguely wondered if Dean knew it. She'd probably forgotten to tell him, being they had absolutely no reason to know each other's email. She only knew his because he hadn't had to change it due to crazy death or anything. "It's faded dot lullaby at gmail dot com." she said. Something that really, only people who knew the whole story would put together. It wasn't like Lullaby was a common name or anything. So it probably just sounded a little strange, or like a private joke or something. Which it was, a bit.

Dean hugged her a little tighter as she said that - he hadn't known what it was until that moment and, unlike Andy, he knew exactly what it meant. He closed his eyes and rested his chin on her shoulder, whilst on the screen, Andy scribbled the address down on a piece of paper. "Cool, thanks. Okay, so - night, Thia - sweet dreams. And, see you Conway," he called, before the feed went dead.

Lullaby reached out to turn the monitor off, then settled right back where she had been, hugging her arms around Dean's. Her mind was kind of all over. There were a few things on it, none more prominent than the others. Like she almost wanted to say 'gee, Andy sure likes to try and cut you out of things, doesn't he?' but couldn't. She wanted to ask if he'd heard anything more from Sophie and Oz. Everything. In the end she didn't say anything, though, and just leaned her head back against his shoulder, and turned her face in towards his neck just a little.

"Did I wake you?" Dean asked, after a pause, once he was sure that Andy was actually gone. Somehow, the conversation had been easier between them before Thia had turned up. After that, Dean had just become more and more irritated and he knew he'd been acting possessive and jealous and being petty and shit, which had been entirely uncalled for. It had been really poor behaviour on his part and he should know better, but ... But there were no but's. He was just lucky Thia hadn't noticed and called him on it.

She shook her head. "No. You didn't wake me." she told him. "I just woke up." Then she paused, thinking. "I think I was dreaming. I was a little disoriented when I woke up." she admitted, though she didn't sound upset about that. "Next time you're talking to Andy, do you want me to kind of wander off?" she asked. Since he'd asked if he'd woken her, she had to wonder if she had interrupted. And, there'd been the antics Andy was up to. Maybe it was just because he'd been drinking. Hrm. She wasn't sure. She just knew she kind of viewed it as some little headgame and she didn't like it. But, out of respect for the fact that it was Dean's other best friend...she wasn't going to say anything.

"No - I was going to offer the same thing, actually," he admitted, though he hadn't been going to. He'd been going to not say anything about it at all, but the thought had been there and she'd brought the subject up, so he mentioned it.

She looked a little surprised, and tilted her head back so she could look at him. "Why?" she asked. "He's...I mean I know he likes talking to me for some reason and everything, but he's your friend." she pointed out. Seemed logical to her. "I don't really know him that well, and he's alright and everything, but...no. I wouldn't really want you to do that." she said, wording it carefully. Her first instinct was to say that she didn't really want Dean to leave her alone with him. But that was just...not good to say.

Because he likes you and you seem to get on and I feel like a third wheel and, really, it brings out parts of me I don't really like and definitely shouldn't be feeling in regards to you because I have no right behaving in the way I've just been behaving and even then I was trying to hold myself back. "Okay, then I won't," he promised her, not answering her question. "So, we don't have a definite either way on what's going on. Sophie and Oz came back a while ago, but, nobody's said anything, so I'm assuming there's nothing much to say right now," he told her, switching subjects.

She nodded, accepting that, and figured that was the case anyhow. "Are you okay?" she asked, hugging his arms around her more, and she absently started playing with the heart monitor, to give her something to do with her hands. "Have you called home yet, or are you going to?" she continued. "Have you looked anything up about like...I dunno. Exchange programs or something for school?"

"I thought about calling me mum earlier, but I want to have something firm to tell her. I only ended up telling Andy because we got talking," he admitted. "And school - I'll, I dunno. I might drop out til next year, then pick it back up then. Don't know what that'd mean if coming back gets to be an option again," he admitted. "But - the school system here and the school system there? They're not really compatible. We got back and I'd have to start A-levels, and it's too late in the year for me to do that, but there's nothing that's like the classes over here that I could pick up just to tide me over until I can apply for another visa or anything. So, basically, if we go back, there's a huge possibility that I'm screwed." He wondered if that would change her mind about coming with him. She'd been very clear that if she went, it would only be temporary. Would she back off if she knew that he might not be able to come back any time soon?

She listened, tracing her fingers back and forth along the cord around his wrist as she did so. "What about like...the student exchange program?" she asked. "I remember last year we had a girl from Germany in our class. I know it wouldn't be a long term fix or anything, but...could you even apply for something like that? And...okay. So...sorry trying to wrap my head around this." she said, thinking. "So if you did get to apply again, it would probably need to be later. Like...next yearish later? And there aren't any other kinds of visas you could apply for?" She paused for a second, then decided to ask another question. "That would be of course, if you would even consider living here without Sophie."

"I don't know - about any of that, actually," Dean told her. "I mean, I'd be willing to come back here without Sophie, if it came down to it. It'd be weird, I guess I'd be living with another family somewhere. And - what would you do? Would you stay with Oz?" he asked her, feeling vaguely uncomfortable of the thought of having to live in Marquette with a bunch of strangers who might not even know about what went on and might have known her when she was alive, so she wouldn't even be able to visit him, let alone... You have no right to have her living with you, he firmly reminded himself. "But I don't know about how visas work - mum and dad sorted mine out, I just had to go along for an interview when they told me to," he told her.

"Maybe you could apply to live with Oz." Lullaby suggested. "Or Bill...." she trailed that off, since she knew the house made him twitch as much as it did her. "...maybe they could just be on the paperwork." she amended. "And I don't know what I'd do. First we'd even have to see if I could come with you to begin with, and..." she didn't finish the thought. Instead, she sat there for a few long moments, still absently tracing back and forth along the cord. "I'll stay wherever you are, wherever I can, as long as you want me there." she said finally, voice a little quieter than it had been.

"You said earlier on that you'd only come if... This is your home. You'd want to come back. I..." He broke off, rejecting several dozen ways of saying things before he hit on a vaguely acceptable one. "I can't imagine being somewhere without you. You're my best friend. I... Just that. And not like Andy - he's... We've just always been friends. It's... different... with you. I... If I have to go, I'll do all I can to get back," he promised her, not sure whether by putting it like that he was encouraging her to come, or expecting her to stay.

She shifted a little, so she could look him in the eyes properly. She also had the urge to reach up and touch his cheek, like she had when they'd been in the closet, but that was likely not the best course of action. So she managed to curb the impulse, but it was a near thing. She opened her mouth to say something, then bit it back again, not for the first time today. "You're my best friend too. You...I don't want to be anywhere you're not. I don't even really want to consider you not being in my life, and...and honestly an ocean away? Is way too far away." she said. "Way too far away. Even if I could learn how to do the mirror thing and did that as often as I could..." she shook her head. "It wouldn't be the same." She bit back another sentiment, and almost reached up, even though she'd already curbed herself, and just caught it at the last second, letting her hand drop to her lap once more. "So I'll go wherever you are, if I possibly can."

He agreed with her there, and nodded. "We should start practising the mirror travel," he told her, deciding that firmly. "Just in case - and, anyway, if you do have to come, it'll mean that we don't have to - you can get into Britain without us having to worry that you'll get one of those letters, right?" he added.

"Right. I can skip over everything." Lullaby said. "I'll just...and I already actually have one for you, I was going to make sure I was really familiar with it before I gave it to you, but...I kinda got you this little mirror." she said. "When I was out for a walk the other night, I saw it in the window of an antique shop downtown...kinda looked like no one had been there for a while. I left a few dollars for it. But It's like...this little round thing that you open up and it's got one normal mirror and the other one's a magnifying mirror. I thought it was something you could kinda carry around or something...just in case. ...but all you'll need to do is have that with you, then text me."

Dean smiled, slowly. "Really?" he asked, clearly touched by this. "I... really?"

She smiled back at him, liking that it had gotten one out of him. "Yes, really." she said. "It might be in my backpack, but it might be back at Billy and Maddie's. I'll have to see. But yeah, I was just kinda...I figured it'd be good for you to have. And it doesn't look overwhelmingly girly or anything, and since it's in it's own case, it'll be protected and probably won't break..." And you can stop explaining yourself now. "You like the idea?" she asked, looking down for a moment, then glancing back up at him through her eyelashes, head still down a bit.

He more than liked the idea, but he just didn't know what to say to it. He didn't care what the mirror was, it could be pink and plastic for all he gave a damn right now, when this morning he'd been faced with the possibility of losing her forever. And now this? Yeah, he really liked the idea.

"I'll learn how to do it as fast as possible." she promised, and reached up, not quite curbing herself correctly this time. Though when she touched his cheek, she kind of turned it into tucking his hair behind his ear to cover. "Then...well, wherever you are, if you need me, I'll be there." she told him, her voice getting just a tiny bit quieter.

"I'd like that," he told her, starting to move his head into her hand a little, but catching himself before he really did it. He was really very aware of her sitting there right then. It had been an intense day and he was still feeling rather more vulnerable and exposed than he was used to. He just didn't know what to do about that. Probably tell her that they both needed sleep, grab some blankets and head downstairs to sleep on the sofa. That would probably do it.

She was aware too. Because it wouldn't take much to turn herself fully around to face him. And that right there would be an interesting position in and of itself. But she couldn't actually do that. It would be crazy of her. Not to mention unwanted by him. Yet it still took her a second to let her hand drop back down, and even then it seemed to gravitate towards his shoulder instead of her lap. "Perfect then, we'll...maybe try it in a day or so." she decided. Absently, she wondered if he was tense. If he'd let her give him another back rub. Hm...

"We should try it tomorrow," Dean told her, aware of her hand on his shoulder and refusing to let himself think anything of it. It was nothing from the girl who gave him more hugs in a day than he'd had in what felt like a lifetime, after all. "We might not have much time - better to start as soon as possible," he pressed. It was a real turn around for him, who'd before always preached caution, but now wasn't the time for that.

It was a turnaround and she blinked, going a little wide eyed. "Okay." she agreed anyhow. "We'll try it tomorrow." she said. "Just remember, it might kick my ass." And she might get lost, and it might not work, and a million other things, but she was more than willing to try if Dean wanted her to. No arguments from her! "But you're right, the sooner the better, just in case." she finished. She needed to move her hand. Or...possibly stop sitting on him. That might help. But she didn't. Not just yet. She didn't want to. Of course, of things topping her list of desires, she couldn't do a single one of them.

"If I have to leave in a week, you need to be perfect by then," Dean told her, explaining when he saw the look on her face. "We don't have time for anything else. And I don't want to be sitting on a, like, fifteen hour plane flight with all the time in the world to worry about if we should have practised more."

She nodded. "Okay, Dean." she promised. "We'll try it tomorrow. I can...use the bathroom mirror or something to go through, see if I can come out yours." She was nervous, of course, because she didn't want to say...get lost. But she would do it. "What I'm going to try is focusing just on your mirror before I even go into the other one, and see if I can kind of...I dunno. Will myself there." she explained. "And we'll just see how it goes." She didn't start in on anything to do with if it didn't work. She couldn't start that now. Absolutely could not. He'd worry enough on his own. She knew that, he always did. It was just kind of what Dean's default mode was with her, when she was doing anything. "Maybe it'll work and be easy so long as I can keep my concentration, like with my other..." she made a bit of a cute face, more for his benefit than anything. "...abilities?" she suggested. "'Powers' sounds so...I dunno. Pretentious."

"I always preferred abilities," Dean agreed. "Powers makes it sound like you should be dressing up in some kind of costume, or have the ability to lift trains and jump tall buildings in a single bound. Which, I dunno about you, but my bounding's been sort of off lately..." he joked.

That made her giggle, and she grinned at him. "Now I've got these mental images of you leaping up at buildings and bouncing off the sides." she said. "But please, please please, Dean, I beg of you...if you're going to be getting into the costumed aspect of heroism...break the mold. Wear your underwear beneath your clothes. Stick with what works. Your kick ass jacket and...yeah that's about it, that works just fine for you." she nodded sagely.

Dean raised an eyebrow and looked at her. "So, you're saying that my superhero costume should just be a pair of boxers and my jacket?" he teased, without really thinking about that, it just struck him as funny, the way she'd put it, and the atmosphere had really lightened to 'jokey' in the last couple of minutes.

Lullaby cracked up at that, and batted at his shoulder playfully. "No!" she said. "That wouldn't have your underwear under your clothes now would it? Plus--there's the public exposure thing. Though you might be able to get away with it! You'd certainly garner attention, anyways. Especially in the middle of winter, if you were running around like that...just a jacket and boxers...I can't even imagine what your superhero name would be. You'd be able to charm women so long as you were standing behind a short wall, or sitting down. Then when you stood up, they'd have to wonder. They'd be all 'aww, he's really nice! a fantastic superhero, that 'fill in the blank whatever name you'd have', awesome! ...zohmygod! He's wearing no pants! Did he forget? Does he not have anyone at home to remind him to wear pants?' and then you'd get asked that in interviews...there might be a pants drive in the city for people willing to pitch in to remedy the situation...you'd have little old ladies knitting you things..."

Dean just laughed at that, highly amused by her ramble and he pulled her to him and gave her an impromptu hug, resting his cheek against the top of her head. This was one of the reasons he loved her, he knew - just this. She was funny, and silly and all sorts of things that just... She was just wonderful.

The hug was a touch surprising, but she didn't fight it at all, hugging him back warmly. She smiled, and drew in a deep breath, making a kind of tiny, happy content sound. There were a few things that ran through her head to say, but she didn't know if she could say them. So instead, she just hugged him, and attempted not to think all sorts of mushy thoughts about him--which didn't in the least bit work out for her.

"So," he said, eventually drawing back, though he'd taken his time about that. "What're the odds of you going for a midnight wander again tonight?" he asked her, wanting to phrase that in a way that didn't say she couldn't, but raised the subject so he could work out if he needed to be worried or not. or listening so he could be up and going with her if she felt the need.

"I think to get me to go on a midnight wander, there would have to be eldar gods climbing out of the lake, eating people." she said. "...or y'know, you coming with me. Either one. But beyond those two instances, slim to none. I'm here tonight. I'm not going anywhere." she assured him, and she meant more than just her remaining in tonight. She meant a lot more. Her tone carried that a little, though she tried not to be too heavy about it.

"Oh, that I'm sure of," Dean told her, firmly. "That, if you were going wandering, I'd be coming with - I just wanted some pre-warning so I could, like, solder those bells to your ankle to stop you trying to sneak past me," he joked with a rare grin, his mood lifting by the moment.

Lullaby was always a fan of it when Dean smiled, so to get an expression like that? She was even happier. "You could always set up tripwires." she teased. "Y'know, put them at the bottom of the steps so thunk--down I go, it'd wake you up. Or set up bells on every door I'd have to open to get out." she continued. "There'll be jinglebells everywhere, people will think it's christmas. It'll be great." she said. Then she shook her foot, letting the bells ring. "Or I could promise to not take them off." she said. "Or, you could say to me 'Thia, could you please not go wandering off in the middle of the night without me?' and give me puppy eyes. That would totally work out for you." she added sagely, with a firm nod. Then she paused eyeing him critically, one eye squeezing shut as she did so in a cute little display. "Or," she said finally. "You could just grab my arm if I happened to try it, and just not let me leave the bed in the first place."

"'Puppy eyes'?" Dean laughed, really doubting he could pulled that one off at all. It really wasn't his style - and anyway, you needed big wide, brown eyes like she had to do that. Which he didn't have, he just had nondescript murky green eyes. "I could just ask you - how about I do that? Thia: don't leave without me," he requested. He paused, trying to work out how to deal with the rest, because he could feel it coming, that edge of nervousness that generally had him falling over his words. "And, erm - I was... I'd assumed that I'd - sleep on the couch," he told her. Not that he wanted to - but it was that very driving want that had had him mentally deciding earlier that he would be sleeping downstairs. When phrases like 'take her to bed' started creeping into his thought patterns, especially earlier on at the house.

"I won't leave without you." she promised, and again, there was more weight to the words than their current conversation should have had. Then she made a face at him. "The couch? We're in your room." she pointed out, as if he should have caught that part already. "It's your bed. If anyone's got to sleep on the couch, it'll be me, but you're not in any way spending the night anywhere but right there." she said, pointing at the bed.

"And before it was my room, it was your room," Dean pointed out. "So, really, we've got equal claim to what is, in fact, the guest room. And I don't mind the couch." Lie. You hate sleeping on the couch. You'll get no sleep at all, because it squeaks every time you move on it, Dean reminded himself, but that was a fact he was ignoring.

Lullaby narrowed her eyes at him and leaned closer, very light little playful sort of smirk on her lips. "So if we both have equal claim to the room, I don't see why either of us has to sleep on the couch." she said. And about two seconds after she said it, she wondered how she'd even got that out of her mouth. Because it was just shy of actually wording things. Putting into actual vocalization that she wanted to share the bed with him. Which immediately had her internally flailing, but she couldn't take it back, and if she started talking? She'd ramble. A lot. And she didn't at all trust her ability to not say something stupid in a ramble so she bit her lower lip instead.

Dean looked a little awkward. "Well, because..." he said, not having anything to follow that with and kind of hoping she'd miraculously pluck the meaning from the air, without plucking too much meaning, but just enough meaning for her to get it, without her actually getting it, but so that she'd understand in some ways that weren't going to cause issues, or weirdness or... He didn't really know and he didn't have anything really that he could say, because it wasn't like they'd never slept together in the same bed before. Because they had - they'd just never really discussed it beforehand. The nearest they'd got to that was that one time where he'd actually gone to change before coming back, and even then they'd decided when they were already in bed. And there'd been that night when he first found her, but that was different, because he'd been so scared she was going to disappear again and so happy that she was alive and. And this was different and he'd wanted to kiss her for most of the day and... And damnit, he was a sixteen year old boy and with the urges he'd been getting towards her today, snuggling up in bed could end up being really bloody embarassing for him! Which is why, though he really wanted to stay, he was arguing for a bad night of not really sleeping and probably being cold downstairs.

She waited to see if he had any actual end to that thought, or if he was letting it ride, and it appeared he was letting it ride. So....yeah. She kept looking at him for a long moment, head tilting slightly to the side, and she slowly started to slide off of his lap finally, figuring distance might be good right now. It would keep her mouth in line anyways, and would stop her from thinking such dumb things. Maybe it would quell urges. "I just woke up." she said. "So...I'll take the couch. Okay?" she asked, taking a full step back from the chair and him as she did so.

Dean stood and took a step forward, closing the gap between them slightly, even though he was mentally justifying sleeping downstairs as a matter of necessary distance. "No, I'll take the couch. You can have the bed," he told her, firmly, glancing across at the bed.

"Now you're just being stubborn and ridiculous." Lullaby said, looking up at him. She took a second to shove her hands into her back pockets, too, to avoid putting her arms up around his neck. "I just slept for...you said like five hours anyways, it's your room now, doesn't really matter that it was mine before, and you'd probably sleep better up here than down there." she said, being absolutely reasonable. "So, you're sleeping here."

"I won't sleep thinking of you downstairs on the couch," Dean told her, not denying he was being stubborn and ridiculous. And also, he did kind of think that he wouldn't get any sleep down there thinking of her all warm and snuggly and in that big bed all alon... Oh for fuck's sake, knock off the imagery, Conway! Dean chastised himself.

Crossing her arms, she looked up at him, stubborn but maybe just a little amused too. "Soooo I'm supposed to sleep up here in the nice comfy bed, and not think about you downstairs where it's probably noisier and less comfy and I'll just nod off happily without concerns?" she asked. "Nu-uh. Not happening. It's your bed and your room and that's just the way it is. Don't make me put you to sleep." she warned--though that was an empty threat. She would if he let her, but...then she might not want to leave. Or, whatever, honestly, she wanted to spend the night in this room with him, end of story. Just with the way he'd reacted to the mere suggestion, she was thinking he didn't want that. Therefore...she was going to forgo that. She was just going to go without on her terms.

"Well, I could threaten the same to you," Dean pointed out, stubbornly, not giving an inch. "Since the hair trick seems to work all round - you dropped off in no time the other night."

She arched a brow. "Annnd I was tired, and needed rest, and I just got up from rest! Since someone let me fall asleep in the first place." Plus she'd been comfy, and hadn't wanted to go anywhere. She'd been right there with him, she'd been all kinds of good. Not the point! "You're not sleeping downstairs." she repeated again. "Your room. Your bed, you need sleep. You've had a really, really rough day, even." she said, and half moved to reach up to do the arms around his neck thing, but at the last second went back to putting her hands in her back pockets. She'd also drifted a little closer to him. "You're probably really tense, and at the very least emotionally exhausted." she continued, ever so reasonably. "So...unless you can come up with some really brilliant reason why anything with me trumps all of that-and I'm not even promising I'd listen then...you lose. You're staying here."

"At this rate, we're going to end up staying up all night," Dean pointed out, mirroring her, putting his hands into his back pockets as well, though he didn't move back at all as she moved forward. "I'll be fine on the couch - all those reasons you just gave, they add up to me being so bloody tired that I could sleep anywhere. I'll be asleep before my head touches the pillow, I could be sleeping on the floor for all I care," he told her, though, right now he doubted he'd ever been more awake in his life. Though she was right about one thing - he was really tense and he absently rolled his shoudlers a little as she suggested it.

She noticed that, the shoulder roll. "Why don't we put the sleeping arrangements decision off for a little while." she suggested, walking around him, pushing the computer chair back out of her way as she did so. She reached up to rub at his shoulders a bit. She didn't say anything further, since she wasn't sure how exactly to put it, but her intention was pretty clear. "We can argue about it later." And in the meantime, she could do something else. If he let her. Which she was really, really hoping he would.

"Thia," Dean said, looking a little back over his shoulder at her. "You don't need to do that," he told her, though his voice didnt really have any effort behind it. Because he had to admit that it was nice, especially today.

"You are right about that, I completely agree. I don't have to do it." she said with a nod. Which didn't at all stop her from what she was doing. "I want to. See? Huge difference." she added helpfully. "But you are too tall for me to do this properly. Go lay down." she told him. And then thought back to the last time she ordered him into bed. That had been to baby him in one way or another too.

Dean paused as he looked toward the bed again. He'd been trying to avoid going there. But this was something different, he justified to himself. He hesitated a moment more, judging whether to offer the compromise of him sitting in the chair, but finally just nodded and went to dutifuly lay down on top of the covers, shifting the pillows slightly so that he could lie full length, his head resting on his arms.

She wondered if he was going to fight her on it, if she'd gone too far, but then he went and laid down, so she called it good. She was thinking back to the last time that she'd done that. When she'd been determined to let him sleep. And he'd of course been resistant for a long time. Crawling onto the bed to kneel next to him, she reached out to start with his shoulders, and work down from there. Of course she couldn't help but think that if he had his shirt off, it would work better. But she wasn't sure if he'd get twitchy over that or not. So...for the moment, she was working with what she could.

He turned his face towards her, or, at least, to the side of him she was sitting on, so that she could see his lips if she looked. But he closed his eyes, relaxing - if she was going to do this, then he'd take as much from it as he could. "That's nice," he told her as she started in on his shoulders. He wondered absently if she'd ever let him return the favour - or if he'd dare, given the chance. It was - the thought was - he... There was this little spot on the back of her neck, just a tiny little place, nothing distinguishing about it. Apart from the fact that whenever she sat nestled back against him, he was always aware that if he just moved his head slightly, tilted it to one side and moved forward, with her hair so short, he could just brush his lips over it. He'd developed quite a little obsession with that little point, though he'd never knowingly actually even touched it. He could, if he was doing this. He could run his hands over her body, touch her and... And he really needed to stop thinking about this right now.

"Let me know if anything hurts." she said in return, smiling a bit at his statement. That was nicely encouraging. She could deal with that, most certainly. She kept slowly working her way down his back, a little bit at a time, and of course had to pause some, working specifically at knots she'd found. Absently, she wondered if he just worked up this kind of tension because of stress, or if he was usually this tense, and she should do this more often. Then she wondered what he'd say if she suggested that.

"It doesn't hurt," he assured her. Anything but, in fact - what she was doing just felt so good, though his shirt getting in the way was mildly annoying. He wasn't going to suggest that he took it off though. He was minded that right now that would be asking for trouble. On his part, anyway. On hers, well, she was just being nice, wasn't she? And he doubted she'd bat an eyelid at him shirtless - wasn't like she hadn't seen if before and she'd been just as oblivious then. He just - his imagination was enough right now without him actually feeling her hands running over his skin.

"Good." she said softly, continuing. It took her a good ten minutes, but eventually she got down more towards his lower back, and had a real debate with herself. Because she was right there, and all it would take was the tiniest bit of a shift of her hand...and in the end she did it, totally unable to resist. She'd already tugged it up inadvertently while she'd been working her way down his back, so whatever, she was just going to do it, and if he didn't want her to, he'd say something, right? That was her theory, and she was sticking to it. So, she put both of her palms down against his back beneath the hem of his shirt, then slid them up, pushing his shirt up with them. "It'd be easier if you took this off." she said, voice still just that little bit quieter than usual. She was just being reasonable. Really she was. It was just practical. Sure it is. You're a bad liar you know. she told herself. Apparently, she sucked at lying to herself, too.

Dean bit his lip and stiffled a moan as she slipped her hands under his shirt. And then she started pushing upwards. And then came that statement, that observation that he had no problems hearing in the quiet. God, could she feel that his heart was hammering right now? Was he breathing faster than normal? He opened his eyes and blinked in the light, his mouth slightly agap as he breathed through it. He didn't really tust himself to speak, but he knew he had to say something. It was either that or he had to take his shirt off - and right now he didn't trust himself not to do something like hurry too much or... He needed to say something. It was a perfectly reasonable, normal, sensible observation, after all. "Okay," he managed, finally.

She sat back, having pushed it up all the way to his shoulders, and she resisted the urge to help any more than that. It reminded her a little of how she always took the holster off of him. Pushed it down from his shoulders...You can stop that now. Her brain just kept kicking little things at her tonight. Again, it cast back a little bit, to when they'd been in her room, and she'd been getting glitter off of him. She'd observed then that he'd had a nice back, and that had been before she'd...gone off the deep end and noticed everything else. ...and upon a second look, here, she couldn't at all retract her initial assessment. He had a nice back.

Dean couldn't stop the little spurt of disappointment that she didn't remove his shirt entirely, and he clung onto that, mentally beating himself about the head with the feeling. Of course she didn't - because her only interest in moving his clothes was to get better access to his back, because she thought he was tense. There was no ulterior motive here - she never. had. an. ulterior. motive. That was just his warped fucking imagination. So no, he didn't get to take his top off the rest of the way, since she hadn't indicated at all that he should do that.

She continued to wait for a moment, then reached out to tug at it, pulling it towards his arm and up by his shoulder. "Ooooffffff." she said, still pulling and waiting for him to shift a bit so she could get it the rest of the way off. But she couldn't with him laying like he was.

He lifted himself up a little, moving his arms to push his upper body up off the bed, though his lower body remained right where it was, thank you very much, and for a moment, he considered just letting her finish it off. But, no, he'd moved now and he was just indulging in his own little fantasies with a girl who was oblivious to their very existence. He made himself reach up, slower than he'd like, and grab his shirt by the back of the neck, pulling it up and over his head before balling it up and chucking it off to one side. "Sorry," he said, looking back at her a moment and giving her the tiniest of apologetic smiles.

She had been helping, but then he did that so she sat back again, and watched, and tried very very hard not to let her mind go wandering. Which of course, didn't at all in any way happen. Occasionally, there were just things that were compelling. Hot. And that right there she figured was. That was marked down in her book. And she needed not to be thinking about it right now, not to be sitting there with some key buttons pressed. Snapping herself out of it, she returned the smile. "I'm sure I'll find it in my heart to forgive you." she told him, reaching out to muss his hair...then decided it shouldn't be mussed and she drifted her fingers through it to set it straight again. That, before she started back on his shoulders again, and the back of his neck, shifting closer to him, moving a little more over him. You're staying right where you are. she told herself as ideas of how this might be easier bubbled up to the surface of her brain. If she was even thinking with her brain anymore. She might be being ruled by baser things than that.

Dean had lifted his hand to stop her as she started playing with his hair, wondering if she intended to cheat. Then again, he doubted that he was going to be able to move from this bed for a while now anyhow, so it was possible he'd be forced to agree to her sleeping downstairs. He dropped his hand again, though, when it became clear she wasn't trying to send him to sleep and he let himself drop back down to the bed, pillowing his head in his hands once again, closing his eyes once more as she began to touch him, hands on bare skin this time.

She was going to push his hand back down again but he did it on his own, so she didn't have to. She smirked a touch though. "Don't worry, I'm not going to start that." she promised. Yet. She was still doing other things. Which she continued, moving more towards his shoulders since he had his shirt off and it was easier to do that now. The only other thing she would want at current beyond the position-switch she wasn't at all going to do, would be if she had some lotion. That would make it all perfect. Buuut she didn't, or more, she did in her backpack, but it was pretty girly-smelling stuff Sophie had gotten her before. She didn't figure he'd appreciate that so much. So she didn't even suggest it. For now, she was taking her time, making herself focus on getting rid of all the knots he had in his back...which happened to be a good few.

"Good," Dean said, lazily. "I'm hate to think you were cheating, Thia Michelle Chambers," he teased, trying out her new name for the first time.

That made her laugh just a little bit as she grinned down at him. "Me? Cheat?" she asked, mock aghast, tone totally innocent. "I would never." she continued, working down towards his mid-back, sliding out from his spine. "I am an innocent little angelic bunny. In fact, I believe you at one point told me just how unintimidating I was. What did I live up to? Kitten-level?" she asked. "So you could never suspect me of anything untoward, sir." she finished playfully, eyes up on his profile. And she was ignoring the whole liking his profile thing again.

"There are lots of different ways of cheating, kitten," Dean told her. Like right now, he decided. Right now, she could probably get him to do anything at all in the world. Not that she really ever had trouble getting him to cater to her every whim or anything. But right now, possibly the only thing she couldn't get him to do would be to turn over. Not unless she decided to stop being real!Thia and morphed into fantasy!Thia.

Lullaby blinked a second and grinned at him, even if he wasn't looking at her. That was the first time she thought he'd ever really...like called her a pet name. She occasionally called him pet names, it was just natural for her, but he didn't necessarily do that. She instantly decided that she liked it. "Like what, exactly?" she asked, still effecting the innocent sort of tone. "What could I possibly be doing that could be alternative ways of cheating?" she asked. "...and is that my new name now?" she asked, still beaming just a bit. "Kitten?"

Dean stilled and tensed under her, realising that he'd said that out loud. He hadn't intended to, he hadn't. He - shit. he hadn't intended to do that. "Erm, I, erm... that is I mean, it's just, just, I..." Fuck, fuck fuck fuck. "Just - I was just teasing," he finally landed on after a few minutes of mental flailing.

She of course felt the tension rise up, because hello--she had her hands all over him, trying to alleviate just that. Watching him flail and stutter, she couldn't help but be amused. "Too bad...I kinda liked it." she said, starting up again, since she'd paused for his twitching. "I mean, okay. Granted, most people didn't consistently call me Lullaby. But with a name like that, the only nicknames that you ever get are like...variations of your name. So the closest I ever had to one was 'lulu'. And for the lazy, just 'lu'. And when you're five then you get teased a lot because of the 'skip to my lou' song and all, and we're discounting all of the shots at me because I was short. 'shorty, short stop, short round'...all those just don't get counted in the grand scheme of things." she told him, working her way down to his lower back again.

Dean just listened to her talk, not really taking it in that much, still panicking from his slip. He'd been mentally using the name for her for a while now - really since he first brought up her kitten-like qualities. Maybe even before then, he wasn't sure. But, she wasn't ever meant to know. He had a name for her - Thia. Thi, occasionally. She'd already told him that near enough nobody else had consistently used it, though that obviously wasn't the case anymore but... He wasn't meant to have a pet name for her. That was - boyfriends had pet names for their girlfriends. Best friends didn't. Those were the rules. At least, they were in Dean's head.

He seemed to have untensed a little, but not enough for her liking. So she paused, sitting back a touch, hand ghosting down his back a little in a gesture that was purely unconscious. "Hey." she said, then leaned closer to him, down by his shoulder, where she put one hand. "Relax." she told him, voice a little softer. If it was any other day, she probably would have asked him why he was stressing, but not today. Today, things had been hell. They'd been really, amazingly stressful, and she wasn't going to start dragging anything out of him now. She just wanted to help. Which, she reminded herself, was not pressing a little kiss to his shoulder where she was. She curbed the impulse, but it was kind of a near thing. "Everything's okay." she promised at the end.

Dean met her eyes, aware of how close she was right now. He was just so aware of her right now, and she was just - she was just being her. It was like they were living in two different worlds, each invisible to the other. In her world, he had no doubt, he was acting inexplicably strangely. In his world, she was right there, just out of reach, just far enough that he couldn't feel her breath on his face, but he could imagine it. In his world, all he'd have to do was move forward a little and kiss her. And in her world, that was the last thing that her best friend would ever do, so unthinkable it wouldn't even occur to her to be a possibility. Unfortunately, he lived in her world. "I know - it's... it's just been a long day," he told her, forcing himself to put his world back in its box again.

She nodded, and again resisted that little urge to drop a kiss there. She did give him a little hug though, even if the position was a tiny bit awkward. She let her fingers drift up into his hair, and stroke through, just once, not trying anything, she just...did that. Then she went back against her willpower and did press just a little tiny kiss to his shoulder, before she sat up, so she didn't do anything more than that. She stroked her fingers up and down his back lightly, rubbing a little but it was actually more of a petting sort of gesture than anything else. "Just close your eyes, and let go for a while." she said, voice very soft. But with his hearing, she knew he'd catch it.

At the other side of the room, Dean's computer quietly died. It wasn't a showy death, it simply broke down, the only evidence the quiet that rose as it stopped, but Dean knew she would have seen that. Anyone else and it may have passed them by, but Dean knew Thia would see the transfer of negative energy. He hadn't meant to do it, but it had happened anyway, just as he'd bit down hard enough on his bottom lip to draw blood and he'd still been unable to stop the tiny little moan from escaping. Hopefully she hadn't heard that though, since he'd turned his face to bury it into the bed. She was going to kill him, she really, really was. She just had no idea. And, obviously, neither did he - what the fuck had he been thinking, agreeing to this?

She looked up of course when she saw the negative energy streak out from him, and frowned at the computer. As it was, she did miss the moan, it was too low for her to register. She remembered that they hadn't actually shut it off, she'd just shut the monitor off, but she couldn't see the power button glowing anymore. Then she turned her eyes back down on Dean. He'd changed position there, and...she could see the tension. What she couldn't really see were black lines. No kicked up negativity, or at least, not that she could really detect. She didn't say anything for a minute, not moving, one hand resting on his lower back, but without pressure. She tried to find her voice, to figure out something to say, but there was too much going through her head to pick one. So...she didn't say anything, and waited, even if she didn't know what she was waiting for.

Dean kept his face buried in the bedclothes, willing the embarassed redness in his cheeks to just go away. He'd felt her turn, shift on the bed - she'd noticed the computer then. He didn't know if he'd just switched it off, or whether it was truly broken, but that was low on his list of things to worry about right now. He focused on his breathing, trying to will the blood from his face, god, he was an idiot. Total fucking idiot.

Lullaby's gaze didn't waver, she just kept looking down at him, trying to figure out what she'd just seen there. "...Dean?" she asked voice still very quiet, after what seemed like far too long. "...are you okay?" That felt like the wrong question. Not that she knew what the right one was, but that was all she could accept from herself as a reply to him. It was the most acceptable, anyhow. Otherwise she was going to be asking him what she'd done, or if she'd done something wrong, or of he wanted her to go now, and she didn't want to go. ...it was already going to be a long night on the couch, she didn't want to go just yet, but then again, maybe she should.

Dean closed his eyes and took a breath, then opened them again on the exhale and turned his head toward her, hoping that he looked normal. He still felt off-balance and like he had a huge sign on his forehead. "Sorry, just - yeah, I'm fine, don't worry," he told her, making himself reach over and hook one of her hands in his, but not moving otherwise.

She looked down at their hands, and she brushed her thumb back and forth where it was for a moment, eyes ticking back up to his face. She wasn't so sure about that. But again she had to debate if she wanted to try and dig anything out of him. In the end, she gave his hand a squeeze. "Do you want me to get you anything?" she asked. Which was both a real offer--and her giving him an out. She'd done it inadvertently before, back in his room, when he had the terrible thing he hadn't wanted to tell her. The thing he still hadn't. He'd sent her away on a bullshit errand, and she'd come back and things were all different. This time she was just willingly handing it to him. Just in case.

Dean was aware that last time she offered that, he'd used the excuse and she'd called him on it. But this time - this time he could really actually do with her leaving the room for a few. It would make things oh so much easier right now. But - she'd know that he was getting rid of her, or she'd think it, which made him feel that he shouldn't take the out. Except he really needed to. He hated himself as he met her eyes. "Glass of water?" he asked, knowing that he'd asked for the same thing before.

There it was. The out. Taken. And he probably wasn't going to want this water any more than he'd wanted the last one. But, she'd done it for a reason. He held his gaze for a few long heartbeats, then nodded. "I'll be right back." she told him, giving his hand a squeeze again with a light smile, then she slipped away, off the edge of the bed, and out the door...which she shut behind her. She made herself not look back at him as she did so, since the entire point here was to remove herself from his presence for...however long she could justify dawdling downstairs. She did hover outside the door for a second though, drawing in a deep breath, letting out slowly, and trying to center herself. And not feel awful. That bit was harder. Then she pushed herself forward, to head downstairs.

Dean was up and off the bed the moment that she shut the door behind her, leaning against the door for a moment, his heart hammering as he worried she might just walk back in for a moment. but she didn't and he heard her head downstairs. He looked down at himself. The damage wasn't too great, thank god. He would have had some explaining to do had she come back and he was wearing completely different jeans. He stripped quickly, changing his boxers before pulling his jeans back on and buttoning them again, checking once more. Better. And the bed was fine. God - god he'd wanted to die there for a moment. Long moment. Moment that was still going on. He'd never been so embarrassed in his entire life. he grabbed his shirt and hovered with it - on, or off. God, last time she'd known because he'd been all different, so maybe this time he should just... go back to where he'd been. Pretend like nothing had happened. Or something.

In the end, he compromised. The shirt got left on the bottom of the bed, with the intention that he'd pull it on all casual-like when she came back, as though he didn't really care one way or another. And he went to his computer, to start checking whether it was fixable. See:cool, unbothered, not at all freaking out. And not too different. Hopefully.

Lullaby walked to the kitchen, but didn't even get a glass out when she did so. The light was off, and she left it off. Sophie and Oz she thought were in the living room. She hadn't been paying much attention, and she merely leaned on the countertop, then pushed herself up on it to gaze out the window above the sink. Last time, she'd been trying to get back fast enough. This time, she knew that she wasn't really doing what he'd asked her to do. That was just the acceptable pretense. So...she sat there, and looked out the window, and tried to clear her mind. It was spinning it's wheels far too much. She wanted to know what happened she wanted to know if he was alright, she just...wanted to know what she was missing. Because she was positive on that score. That there was something she didn't understand operating up there. She could see movement outside, and stopped to track that, barely seeing the outlines of what she thought was a deer, but the moon was too weak for her to be positive. In the end, she was downstairs going on fifteen minutes before she wondered if it was actually safe to return upstairs, and just how quickly she could leave again. She'd...just go sit downstairs or something. Take her backpack and work with the mirror, if it happened to be with her. She considered going for a walk to the other house to get it, if it didn't happen to be, but she'd promised she wouldn't leave without him. Dropping down from the countertop, she almost just skipped the glass of water completely, but in the end got it anyhow--just so he could keep pretending, properly. Walking up the steps, she took her time with those too, almost dragging it out even more before she finally couldn't put it off any longer, and she even knocked quietly twice before she opened the door, and peeked in.

Dean had started to wonder whether she was actually coming back. In fact, he was thinking about going to find her. His computer was fixed - thankfully he hadn't done lasting damage to it. And he'd picked up and put down his shirt and million and one times in the last ten minutes since that was done. So, when the knocks came, he headed for the door and pulled it wide open just as she peeked in. "You okay?" he asked, worriedly, wondering where she'd been - maybe she got talking to Sophie. But, he would have heard the voices downstairs. Maybe... Maybe she was just avoiding you, since you took the out, didn't you - the code of 'give me a few minutes here'. And she knew what it was and she went anyway. So she'd probably just been sitting down in the kitchen waiting for enough time to pass before she felt she could come back up here.

She kind of hadn't expected him to be worried, so it caught her off guard. Had she been gone too long? She'd figured the longer the better. "I'm fine...there was a deer outside." she said, latching onto the first thing she could think of that was at least true, or partially true. She'd never in her life been an adequate liar, and so she needed to say something that wasn't false. "...or I thought it was, the lighting isn't so good. It was the new moon the other night." she added, as total, unimportant filler. Of course now she was going to be paying the hell attention to the new moon, but...she didn't think she'd be bringing that up to him. Possibly ever. She'd maybe just get really, really sidetracked or lost on those nights. She'd inexplicably become very busy. "Here's your water." she added, holding the glass out for him--which she expected him to put aside like he had last time.

Dean took the glass from her and took a long mouthful - now that she was clearing him out of the little things that made his life so difficult health-wise every day, drinking a glass of water was no longer something that had to be done carefully. So, he could give her that - he could act like he wanted it. Plus, his throat was feeling a little dry right now. "Thanks. A deer - really? I would have liked to see that. I've only ever seen deer in parks before," he told her, realising he was still holding his shirt balled up in one hand.

"You never saw them in the back yard back home?" she asked. "And you could go look, but, like I said...the lighting wasn't very good. It was just kinda a big enough shadow to be a deer, sticking mostly towards the trees. We'd have to have apples and stuff to put outside to get any to come closer." she said, as he at least put in a little effort and drank some this time. That didn't mean she was fooled into thinking he'd actually wanted it. She found herself looking at the cross and ring against his chest. This mostly came into focus for her because she wasn't looking at his eyes. She almost reached out to right it, to get the ring off of one side of the cross where it was hooked, but stopped herself halfway to doing that. "It's kinda getting late." she said, making herself look up to his eyes, and wondered if that was her equivalent of 'I have school tomorrow' that he always used. God, was it?

Dean chuckled a little. "Thia, I grew up in the suburbs of a major city - we were lucky if we saw a fox in our garden," he pointed out to her, making a point of drinking some more of the water. He caught her gaze over the rim of the glass and lowered it again. "Yeah, it is," he agreed, not saying any more than that.

And he caught her off guard again. "I meant--" she started, then quirked a little half smile. "I meant home like...Oz and Sophie's place." she said. Maybe you were far too busy with vampire attacks, and shadow monsters, and trying to take care of everyone all the time and such to have looked. Like you hadn't looked at the stars. Like I doubt you think to take time outs to do little things like that. she thought. It was kind of a sad thought, and she recognized that she was kind of making herself more and more sad by the moment. But she tried not to show it. "You going to go to sleep?" she asked him.

"Oh! I... Er, no. I - it's been kinda busy," he admitted. or, at least, the first few weeks he'd spent hanging around in his room and then it had gotten busy, but there hadn't been all that much wildlife spotting whilst he'd been here. The first time he'd really spent any time staring out fo the windows had been the night Oz had put him on vamp patrol for the first time. "And, I guess, but - I'm kind of awake, right now," he admitted to her. He had a feeling that once he stopped again, he'd go down fast, but he was awake as he'd ever been at the moment. "How about you, I mean - if you're tired..." he suggested, looking back to the bed. He had to remind himself that he'd definitely checked it. It was fine. But still, he tried to casually move his stance so that his shirt was hanging lossely in front of him. Just in case.

She shook her head. "I'm not tired." she said. And she wasn't, she had just woken up a bit ago. She also hadn't been woken up, she'd just slept til she woke up, which meant she was pretty well rested. "And I'm still not crashing in here. You are." she said, and there was a note to her voice that said there wasn't any arguing to be done on that score. Especially now. "You'll get tired way before I will anyways." she continued. Then gave a little half shrug. "...nocturnal."

"Are we gonna keep this up all night?" Dean asked her, feeling slightly more like he was back on firmer ground with the return to the argument. "With both of us refusing to sleep in here?" Which is what it came down to - it was what it always seemed to come down to. Each arguing that the other was more important.

Lullaby shut her eyes for a moment, and exhaled. When she opened them, she reached out, fixed the ring and cross, then looked up to his eyes again. "Dean--don't argue with me." she said simply. "Please." Again, there was a note of strain to it. Just enough that it was noticeable. Right this second, she wasn't having it. He didn't get to send her off to get away from her, then decide to be self sacrificing and make sure she was comfortable. She was confused enough right now, even if she just caught on then in that moment that that's what she was going through. Confusion.

Dean frowned a little, looking torn. "The sofa's really uncomfortable," he told her, after a few. "You'll get no sleep on it at all. And you'll be cold. I'd prefer it if you slept up here," he added, hating the idea of her trying to sleep down there on a number of levels. It just wasn't right.

Lullaby made a little frustrated sound. "Dean." she said, the strain in her voice a little more evident and she dragged her fingers through her hair. "It's your room. It's your bed. I just woke up a little while ago. You will need to sleep far before I will. It is absolutely fucking ridiculous for you to insist on sleeping on the couch you just admitted was uncomfortable, when you even need more sleep than I do because I'm whatever the hell I am, and don't need as much. Please, just stop." she said. "I appreciate that you want me to be comfortable, but just...stop." she finished, losing all the steam she'd had, even though her voice had never raised. There was just tension running through it, which died out at that last bit.

He wanted to ask her to stay then. To give up on the farce of separation and just tell her to stay, since that had almost been her suggestion earlier on. Her assumption at one point, anyway. But - with what he'd just done... He didn't trust himself. He might be able to keep his hands to himself, but what if...? "Okay," he agreed, reluctantly, not even attempting to look happy about it.

"Thank you." she said, since he looked unhappy about it, and there were lines spiking up to go with that. Not overwhelming, but enough. So, the least she could do was thank him for giving up his stance. She wanted to go for a walk now. Of course she did, after she'd promised him she wouldn't. She'd been fine, earlier, hadn't wanted to be so much as arm's length away from him. Now, she could do with distance. Distance so she could figure her head out, and kick back all the stupidity--because it was getting worse--and come back feeling normal again. She could not feel hurt for him sending her away because she was removing herself for a while too. It would even out. But...she kept her promises. And knowing Dean...he'd be listening. And even if she could get out of the house without him knowing? She'd know. And that wasn't acceptable.

"We'll sort something better out tomorrow," he promised her, putting the glass down and shifting the shirt from hand to hand before giving up and pulling it back on, even though it was now a crumpled mess.

"Don't worry so much about it." she said. Then she was at a total loss for what to say or do next. She really, really was. She could ask about his computer she was sure he would have checked it, but at the same time, she didn't want to bring up...whatever it was that happened there. Her backpack was right there against the wall, and she could pick that up, shoulder it, and say she was going downstairs to...possibly work with the mirror, but she didn't know if that was the right thing to do either. Because as much as she was feeling twitchy, and like she needed to not be right there in his room with him, she also didn't want to be so obvious about it. She knew what it felt like from the other end, and that had her hesitating. Or maybe he wouldn't care, or wouldn't feel hurt about it, she didn't know.

"Thia," he said, impulsively. "I'm - I'm sorry. About - before. I..." Earth to Dean - you know, it really helps to have an explanation that'll fly before embarking on trying to explain. Given that the actual truth is actually something that you not only don't feel comfortable telling her but you never want anyone to know ever, ever, ever. "It's been a really long day. I thought, this morning... I thought that was it. I mean, it might still be and, I keep thinking of more and more things that can, I don't know - go wrong still, or be problems, or issues and. My head's all over the place. And I just... If I'm being weird and all over the place too, I don't - I mean, that is, I just... And I just - I didn't mean to upset you. or make you worry. Or... anything. And, you've like, dropped everything for me and I haven't even... acknowledged that and I'm just - I feel like I've been all me me me today and there's you and I'm sorry and I - I'm not fair to you and today's not been easy for you either and everything's so all over the place and I just - I don't know. You being there means so much and I - I... I. Thanks," he said, breaking off his ramble.

She was following along, though she wasn't entirely sure she made sense of it. It was a bit on the difficult side, after all. Because...well. There was a lot there. A whole lot, and she didn't even quite know where to start. It left her blinking, and then she stepped closer, wanting to give him a hug, since that was her first instinct, but she wasn't sure she should. Then she decided fuck it, she was doing that anyways. So she put her arms around him, and gave him a hug. "Don't be sorry, okay?" she asked, feeling a little more Awful fall down on her head. She'd felt it before for the whole him taking the out thing, then more because she wanted to go away for a while, and now here was another helping, because she felt like she'd fucked up. He had had a really hard day, and she felt like she was being selfish because of him being...however he had been, and hello! It was perfectly understandable that today of all days, he didn't need to make any sense and she couldn't always read him perfectly. She'd relaxed too soon, since they'd started joking around and everything, that was where she'd gone wrong. "I'm sorry if I was short with you. I didn't mean to be. And I'm...I'm okay." or she would be, what was the difference? "And you don't have to thank me for anything, alright? I'm your best friend, it's kind of in the definition that everything's going to get dropped for you that's not...that's just something that...you don't need to thank me for that. Everything is okay. And if things don't go the way we want, we'll work it out and it'll be okay somehow. Things'll get figured out." she promised.

"But - I just... I... I appreciate you and I don't - I should, that is... Should I just shut up right now?" he asked her in the end, more than well aware that what he wanted to say wasn't coming out. Which was probably a good thing. Definitely a good thing. And he was just rambling incomprehensibly. So, instead, he stepped in and just hugged her back, if a little more delicately than he normally would have done.

She didn't say anything for a few long moments, just hugging him before she took a step back. Here was where she attempted to be reasonable. "You've had a really, really long day. That's been amazingly awful." she said, reaching up to tuck his hair behind his ear, but that was all she allowed herself, hands dropping back down in front of him where she twisted the ring around her finger. "You're probably exhausted in more than one sense. I know you said you're feeling awake, but you probably should just...lie down for a while. Get some rest, let yourself recuperate." she said, thinking she sounded normal. Or she hoped she did. "And tomorrow we'll hear more from Sophie and Oz, and we'll have a better idea of what's going on, and we'll be able to work out yet more crackpot ideas for what to do to help the situation." she added.

She was leaving. This was a 'and this is where I walk out of the room' moment, he could feel it. And he should let her go, because, really - obviously today close was too close. But he didn't want her to go. He wasn't ready to let her go. But he didn't know whether he dared ask her to stay. His imagination had been running riot all day and it had led him to bad, bad places. To curl up in bed with her - that wasn't going to help. And that would be what was involved, wouldn't it? But - he didn't want her to go. "Thia," he said, far too quietly for her to actually hear him. "I - will you help me sleep?" His heart was hammering even with that small request, scared almost. But, maybe it was a half way. She could sit by him, she could leave afterwards, if she wanted to - and he'd be asleep. Hopefully that would be safer, acceptable.

She internally heaved a sigh. "...'course I will." she said. She couldn't refuse him. Definitely not with a request like that. She didn't have it in her. Twitching like never before could be happening with her and she still would have stayed to do that, since he asked. "...want to get ready for bed, then?" she asked. "I can just..." she made a vague gesture towards the door. Maybe it would give her a tiny bit of breathing room where she could shove everything going on in her head back down again, so she could do this, then fuck off for a while.

"I can change in the bathroom," he told her, stepping back a little. "I should go do my teeth anyway," he explained - which was a step that was usually missed on the nights that they did actually spend together. Probably because those were of the type that if they both started getting organisational, reality would come crashing in and it wouldn't happen. From his side, anyhow. She just... He didn't know, actually. He'd never dared ask. He turned and crossed to his dresser, rooting round in a drawer until he found sleeping clothes. I'll be right back," he told her, before ducking out.

She watched him go, and sighed, sitting on the end of the bed. She reached down and took her bells off, shoving them into her backpack where they wouldn't make noise. If she was actively putting him to sleep, then her moving and them ringing wouldn't exactly help. She also rooted around in there to find the mirror she'd gotten for him...and did actually have it. So that was a good thing, she supposed. Her mind was spinning on things she didn't want it to be spinning on. Like how she still felt like she needed to not be here. Like she wasn't helping at all, and he needed someone to be helping him. And how much she hated that. She wanted to be helpful. She wanted to be making things better for him, not worse. Definitely not to the point where he'd short something on accident. She was unsettled to a huge degree, and couldn't quite shake it. It was probably a good thing that when she petted his hair, he tended to drop off fast. Absently, she got up and tugged the covers back for him, not even recognizing the fact that she'd done it on 'his' side of the bed.

Dean spent a good half of his time in the bathroom staring at his reflection in the mirror and asking himself what the hell he thought he'd been playing at today. He didn't allow to himself the excuse of a hard day - that might be something to say to try and make it better with her, but he was stricter with himself than that. If he could master himself, then making things better with her wouldn't have to happen in the first place, would it? Prevention: always better than cure. He changed and threw his clothes into the hamper, before heading back to the bedroom, leaving the door ajar behind him.

She looked up when she saw the movement, and noted he'd left the door open. He'd done that when they first got back too. For some reason, now she was really taking note. She supposed it would make it easier for her to leave without waking him. Maybe that was why he'd done it. That sort of clear 'and then you can go now' bit. Or she was reading in, which right now, she was almost positive she was far too apt to do. She gave him a little smile, and stepped back away from the bed so he could lay down, and she knew she was feeling far more awkward than she should. She never felt like this. This wasn't how things worked. In fact...looking at it all, she was kind of behaving like he did sometimes. And you always feel like hell when he does that, so you'd better push it all back, and really fast, Lullaby. The last thing he needs tonight is to feel worse over stuff that isn't even his fault.

Dean hardly looked at her as he walked across the room and got into the bed, pulling the covers up around him, a silent way of saying 'see, I'm underneath, you're on top'. He felt bad for doing that, but it was better for her. She wouldn't have to hate him this way. But he still didn't want her to go.

She skirted the end of the bed, then crawled up on her the other side, til she was up by the headboard, and she leaned her back against it, instead of lying out next to him like she would have wanted to. Then she reached out, and started to draw her fingers through his hair, wondering if she shouldn't say something. The trouble was she didn't know what to say. She couldn't quite grasp something that she knew would come out right. At current, she thought everything would come out wrong, and she didn't want that. So...she stuck to silence, and paused, before she got up again to flick the light off. Then she came back.

He closed his eyes as the room went dark, feeling her hand in his hair. He wanted to reach for her, to snuggle up against her and hold her. It felt wrong not to do that. He never slept without holding something - he was one of life's natural snugglers, always had been. But, she was leaning against the spare pillows, so they were out. And his... Well, they were always an option. Her or his pillows? He knew which he'd prefer. And, in the end, that's what he went for - oh he meant to pull his arm up from under the blankets to grab his pillows and pull them round so he could hold them, but somehow, between breaking air and finishing the move, he'd shuffled over to her more and draped his arm over her thighs instead. Weird position, but he felt better for it.

Lullaby didn't try to stop him at all...but he did just make it amazingly difficult for her to leave now. It felt nice, but at the same time...she didn't know. She was going to be in for a long night. Either way, she stroked her fingers through his hair, slowly, lightly, drawing it back from his face, so she could see the faint outline of him highlighted. She wasn't sure if he just wanted to be closer to her, or what right now. Generally he shied, but apparently not right now. She was reminded of when he'd fallen asleep for her before, how he'd snuggled up with her, held her the whole time. ...yeah, she was very likely in for a long night. "...goodnight, Dean." she whispered to him, still playing with his hair.