sanity check please

who: caleb and nic
where: her room
when: late

Caleb had been walking around for what seemed like for-fucking-ever. Eventually, he wound up outside Nic's window, and sighed. But, he knew he'd just continue to spin his fucking wheels if he didn't get another take on this and at least get it out of his head for a few, so he reached up to knock on her window. Hopefully, she was home, or had time, or...something. He didn't know. Possibly he hoped she hadn't decided that she really wanted to never see him again over the whole weirdness, blood magic bullshit. Delayed reaction and all that. But...hopefully not.

At first, Nic was unaware of the knock. It was late, her mom was in bed, and she had to keep the volume down. She'd plugged in her overlarge headphones to her stereo, letting the cord run between dresser and bed as Nic sat with music blaring in her ears. It was loud enough that she missed the sound entirely, only realizing someone was there when she happened to see a flit of movement; the shadow of Caleb's hand, stretched by streetlight, bleeding past her shades. "What the-" Nic started to say, twisting her head to look and yanking her headphones away in the process. "God, whore," she cursed, reaching up to rub an ear where earrings had snagged and pulled.

Craning her head down to see through the exposed window, Nic blinked in surprise at the sight of Caleb. Caleb with a haircut. She hadn't thought much about seeing him again yet, too much of her mind was occupied with what he'd revealed to her, so her smile came easy as she hopped from bed in her sweats and moved to the window. She didn't even mind being seen in her pajamas, not compared to his cleaned-up look. Sliding the window open enough that they could speak, Nic lit up with a wry look aimed Caleb's way. "I'm sorry, but the Abercrombie and Fitch photo shoot is two blocks up, you commendably groomed young man, you," she told him with a wink, blowing smoke out.

He looked up at her and cracked a half smile. "Don't think they'd take me." he told her. "What about you? Got time for me tonight?" he asked. He hoped so. And at the same time he wondered what he could possibly do to fuck this up too. Because he was positive that he could! Yes, he was just that fucking talented today. He stepped closer and leaned his arms on the windowsill, looking up at her. "Fair warning, though, I apparently have the ability to piss off any girls I know in about .2 seconds, so it's at the risk of our friendship that you agree to see me."

Nic made a show of thinking it over, even holding up a finger as if telling him to wait. "Amazing," she said at last, "You're right. That last two-tenths of a second? I realized you suck. Lucky for you, I suck too. So yeah, I think I have some time." She smiled more earnestly, pushing the window open wider and leaning her arms in the frame, chin resting atop them. "Did you want to be all scandalous and climb in? I make no promises for your safety if you do. Or? You could give me a minute to put on real pants."

"I'm good for being scandalous tonight, I think. Might as well, with my current track record." He waited for her to step back a bit, before he pushed himself up into her window, then climbed in. He sat on the sill, and sighed, looking over at her. "So...how's your night?" he asked. "Other than the rampant sucking." he added, finding a little bit of humor for her. Or maybe she just brought it out in him better, and he was in a position where he wanted to latch onto it.

"Kinda boring," Nic confessed, moving back to her bed and flopping down on it, stretching out on one side. "Went for a walk to stretch my ankle, stockpiled some smokes... watched this movie? Dog Soldiers. Fucking awesome," she told him with a tight smile. The scabbing on her cheek pulled and hurt if she grinned too wide, but she could deal with a little sting. Something was wrong, obviously, and while Nic wouldn't immediately press for details, she'd do what she could to get a grin from Caleb. "British soldiers fighting werewolves, I think you'd dig it," she went on, turning down her stereo with the remote, then yanking the headphone plug free from her perch on the bed.

He didn't quite know where to sit, so he just shut her window--because it was cold out there, and then slid down to sit on the floor beneath it. "Dog Soldiers? I'll have to see it sometime. Though it's always interesting seeing a horror movie with something in it I've actually seen in real life. I've actually seen werewolves brawling before. And if you ever want to see something fucking brutal, that is." he told her. He propped his elbow on his raised knee, resting his head against his hand. "Not that you really needed to know that."

Okay, maybe he was right about ruining things. That comment? Dragged everything he'd shown her to the forefront of Nic's mind, popping her eyes wide and making her scoot to the edge of the bed, leaning closer his way. "Nuh uh," she asserted intelligently, "Shut up. There's werewolves? Like, real ones? That's... it should be creepy? But I'm not seeing one right now, so it's just kinda awesome. Are they... are they evil?" she asked in a softer tone, both freaked out by this fact and wanting to know more.

He shook his head, watching her. "No." he answered. "and most of them aren't like you see in the movies either. Not fuckers who run around eating people and shit. Some are, but they're different. Most of them are just...people who can turn into other shit. When the vamps hit town, I saw this...fuckin half bird guy, it was weird. Kinda fucked up. But they were helping against the vamps, so another point in the 'not evil' column. Not actually much is purely evil." he told her. "But there's a lot to watch the fuck out for. Vamps I have no real love for."

Nic nodded, taking that in with the same astonishment on her face. Half bird people? BIRD PEOPLE? That was a bigger shock than the werewolves, frankly, and it showed. But at least he was vouching for some of them. "Yeah, I don't thnk I'd be real wild over vampires either," Nic murmured, "Somehow I doubt they're all sensual and romantic like some of the movies." She'd seen the attack on the town, after all. "Anyway, enough of that weird shit that's gonna keep me up all night. What's going on under those stylish locks of yours?" she asked with an attempt at a teasing smile, wondering what it was like in Bizarro world where vampires and bird people were normal dealings, but women still upset Caleb.

He rolled his eyes. "I haven't even looked at it, Rose cut it today. Is it even even?" he asked. "I just wanted it out of my fucking eyes, and to quit doing that curl thing." he admitted. Style wasn't really high on his list of shit he cared about. "And I don't know. I pissed off the ex. I pissed off this girl I know...and I think she probably wishes for a meteor to come out of the sky and land on me. I...can I sanity check something with you?" he asked, looking her in the eyes. "I really need it at this point, I can't fucking tell anymore."

Well, this was important. Like, as crucial to him as showing her the truth, if the look in his eyes and the tone of his voice were both genuine. Nic felt flattered on some level, surprised that he'd come to her with it. But then? She also felt nervous. She didn't trust her own advice, not with how Nic thought of herself. Still, he was a friend, and she wasn't going to shoot him down when he was asking. "Yeah," Nic told him simply, nodding with her agreement and wondering if the sanity check was about the ex or the friend, Rose. She wanted to meet both, to see what sort of girls Caleb actually liked enough to date, and what sort of people could mess up his head so badly.

He sighed. "Thank you." he said. "Okay. So, here's the sitch. There's Rose. Who comes from a town my brother and I went through when we were going to get my other brother. Place was deserted. You know those stories of mass disappearances? Like the Mary Celeste and some shit? Like that. small town, everyone was just vanished. Well she was away at college, was supposed to take a trip home and when she got there, everyone was gone. So, her whole family and everyone she ever knew has poofed into thin fucking air." he said, setting up the backstory. Then he paused. "And before you ask, no, I never saw shit like that before in my life." he informed her. "Anyways, she puts up this website, and my friend Dean found it. Told me about it, when I was telling him about the town. Long story short I contact her, meet her, and she decides to come here instead of going someplace else to start fresh, even if I told her not to, because this place is fucked up. So, I'm kind of responsible for her now, because she's just...breakable." He shook his head, and leveled his gaze on Nic again. "And every time I see her, it's like nothing's happened. When we get together, she's just...fine. Like happy and okay, and talking about her goddamn rabbit, and she texts me and asks me to draw her shit, and it's all just looking like..." He shrugged. "I don't fucking know. But--is that fucked? Or am I just missing something huge here?" he asked honestly. "Is that normal, and my view of normal is just that skewed that I can't tell, and I royally fucked up in trying to push her to deal today?"

She listened without a word as he talked, the frown deepening as Caleb laid out his problem piece by piece. "No, that's kinda fucked," Nic said at last, reaching up to wind a lock of stray hair around her finger. "I mean, I can see it happening? Something that big... I don't know how I'd deal. Maybe she doesn't know either, so she's just not dealing. But it's not you." Nic scooted out of her lean, crossing her legs on the bed and resting her hands in her lap, somewhat aware how grungy she looked but figuring Caleb wouldn't care if she brought it up. Which was nice. "It's not healthy, that's for sure. And coming from me? Well, it should already be obvious. Do you think she might be dangerous? Like, to herself? Just... bottling it all up like that, eventually it's going to pour out, it's going to explode." She spoke with certainty, knowing firsthand how trauma like that could creep up without you knowing and blindside you when it revealed itself.

"That's what I'm worried about." Caleb said. "That she's repressing all of this, it's going to get to a point where she can't anymore, and then we're talking total screaming mental breakdown land. And when people have those...they're never the same, you know? If she dealt and moved forward, maybe she'd be okay eventually, but that's my main concern. That she's going to fucking snap, and that'll be it. Then she'll be unstable, probably at least a little full time crazy, and...it just will be that way for the duration." Which was part of where the entire argument had stemmed from, even if he belatedly realized that he hadn't in any fashion managed to bring that up with Rose.

"Do you think she trusts you enough to let you help? I mean, how much does she know about what you told me? About out there?" she asked, waving a hand at the window Caleb had crawled in. "Anything at all? Because it doesn't sound like something that happens in the normal world, obviously. So maybe..." Nic frowned, thinking her words over carefully. "Remember how you told me most of the world just turns a blind eye? Does it ever happen to survivors? You lose someone to the nasty shit out there, but you force yourself to believe it was something else? Maybe that's what this is, she's shutting out the possibility that something so fucked it defies explanation happened."

Which didn't touch on all of Caleb's concerns about Rose's sanity, but Nic guessed that plenty of people had denied the truth so hard that they'd broken down. "If she doesn't know... maybe you have to show her. I wouldn't want to do it, but maybe? She needs her eyes forced open."

"Iii think that my brand of helping is the kind that doesn't." Caleb admitted with a heavy sigh. "I tried, I'm just--if you haven't noticed I'm not actually good at any of this bullshit. Talking to people, relating, I'm--" Missing something. It's called being a fucked up half-demon. "And she doesn't really know anything. I can't--I'm not dropping that bomb on her on top of everything else. Can't do it. Hell, I don't even think she believes in the historical cases of mass-disappearance. I'm pretty sure she'd doubt the shit out of me if I told her the truth of what's out there, and even if I did, it still wouldn't provide her with an answer. And I think that's part of it. She didn't witness anything directly, but I figure she's convinced there's some reasonable explanation. Mentioned the military or some shit." Absently, he started scratching at the inside of his arm, at the stitches there. He was quiet for a long moment, then ticked his eyes back up to settle on Nic. "I think if I showed her what I showed you, all that would happen is she'd be afraid of me." he said, voice a lot quieter than it had been a moment ago.

Nic frowned deep enough to make her flinch, the skin on her cheek pulling taut against the scabs there. Words flooded her mind that she didn't dare say, for fear of making them both feel weird. Things like how he did help, he'd helped her, she wasn't afraid of him, she wasn't even all that scared of the vast unknown in the darkness, because she knew him. But all of that was too much, too soon. She didn't want to be a clingy, dependant girl like this Rose sounded, so she just buried it all away, reaching down to pluck at the sheets on her bed. "Well, is she your friend? Or do you only feel responsible for her?" Nic asked slowly.

"If she won't listen to the possibilities, and you just feel like you have to be there, there's a limit you'll hit as far as helping her." Nic had hit that wall back in Green Bay, dealing with recurring waves of paranoia over who she'd been, grief for a life lost she'd never know. Sometimes they still came back; she'd convince her mother to call her in sick and just spend the day in bed, looking in the mirror. "But if you care? If she knows it? She'll let you in, and maybe she'll listen. Of course, by then I think she'll be close to the breakdown you mentioned. Or... you could find out what happened. Which is probably impossible, but you know I've warned you about my advice, well, sucking several dicks."

He was watching her, and frowned a touch when she flinched. Her cheek, probably, since it was still right out there and looking painful. He didn't like when she asked the first questions, though. That he had to think about. "I...don't know." he said truthfully. "I feel responsible for her. And she's a sweet girl. But she's...she's sweet like I want to be careful with her, because I don't want to be the motherfucker who ruins it. Which I think I am anyhow, by default. But--" he stopped, trying to figure out how to word it. "Alright. Take you. I haven't known you that long, but I have a pretty good bead on you, and you, I figure, have a pretty good bead on me. You already know me better than she does, and that's because I have a much easier time talking to you. She's the kind of girl who kind of gives me a look if I swear, and talks about...it's just not on the same level." he tried to explain, all the while feeling like a dick for saying it at all. "It's like she comes from an entirely alien world to mine, and I know that shit really well. I know it every time she opens her mouth. And I..." he broke off, wording failing him there. "I know she thinks of me as a friend, but I don't know if it's just because I'm trying to help take care of her. Even if I'm doing a piss poor job of it. I care, I just--" he was aware of the different worlds thing. Far too aware. And that was a level he couldn't quite explain to Nic. Leija would get it, they both suffered from it, but he couldn't tell Nic he was a half-demon. That just...wouldn't work. "I could try finding out what happened but I don't know where I'd start. I don't have the resources to actually do it. I wouldn't even know where to start to find an answer."

Truthfully, it sounded to Nic like Caleb was going to drive himself crazy trying to help this girl. From how he'd described it, it didn't seem to Nic like this girl wanted help, which was all kinds of fucked up. "Just... warn her," Nic suggested, her lips pursing with quiet resolve. "To me? It sounds like she wants you there as someone to hang around with in that world, the pretend, sane one. Like, she wants people to reaffirm her idea that things'll be okay in the end? So just warn her." Nic lit up again, bending over to reach awkwardly under her bed for an ashtray and grabbing the bedframe as she teetered precariously. She sat back up, shooting him a look just daring to crack wise about it. "Tell her that you'll be there if she wants to hang out, but that if she asks, she needs to expect you being realistic, not fucking around and avoiding the issue or sugarcoating yourself and cuddling her bunny. Be her friend, but stop holding her hand. I think you'll find out if she really wants to be yours."

He didn't. At some other point in time? He would have in a heartbeat, but as things currently were, he didn't have it in him to rib her about anything. Not in the middle of this conversation. He took a few minutes to really think over what she said, as well. Her advice made sense. And it was actually a conclusion that he never would have considered on his own. Never would have thought about. "So just...let things lie, and say that if...how do I even word something like that?" he asked, at a loss because it was such an alien kind of idea for him. It was the best suggestion so far though. "And that's even if she wants to speak to me again. I don't know, Nic. I just...don't think I'm cut out for any of this. Now if she needs someone to keep her alive during the next fucked up crisis? I'm there. Probably with you and Leija holed up somewhere, just for your knowledge, but whatever, either way, I'd be fine for that. Give me something to kill. But dealing with all this fucked up emotional bullshit that I don't even remotely understand...I'm pretty fucking positive I'm exactly what she doesn't need in her life right now. Even if I think it'll lead to nothing but a fucked up mess for her...I'm not helping."

For all her teasing, Caleb didn't come off as the cuddly type, or one to want physical reassurance. Still, she thought he could use a hug. She just wished she was the type to give them out. This was really twisting him around, it was apparent. It was part of the reason Nic kept so many people at arms' length, she didn't know what she'd do if she was in Caleb's shoes. "Don't let it lie," she said gently, shaking her head and sucking down a drag. "Take a day or two, but not too long. You call her, tell her you want to talk. Try and be okay with things, go do something that you like doing. Get food, go for a walk, whatever, but you choose. Otherwise she's going to solidify her idea of the happy world again."

She wasn't sure she was going to get this right, but she was hoping Caleb would catch the drift anyway. "Tell her you're worried, but don't push? Just... point out that it's what you do. Because it is," she teased with a little quirk to the undamaged side of her face, "And tell her you want to help. But then? Say that 'help' isn't going to be repeating the idea of everything being fine. Don't tell her it won't be, even if I agree with you there. Just try and make her understand that you being there and you lying about who you are aren't the same thing. If she can't handle that, I guess you know where you and she stand."

He listened, and nodded. "...right." he said. Drawing in a deep breath, he let it out slowly, not sure what else to say. His mind was still buzzing along on everything, though. Then he looked at her again, and gave her the ghost of a smile. "Nothing I like to do I can really do with her. Beyond going for a walk, and last time we did that, I made her cry, too. Have I mentioned the part where I fucking suck at any of this? I don't know. I get what you're saying but I can't help but wonder if I should just hang the fuck back and just be tactic support when the shit hits the fan, and leave her the fuck alone otherwise."

"If you hang back? I guarantee she'll think you hate her," Nic told him earnestly. "I am a girl, after all. Guys laying low always flips our Crazy switch on. So maybe you should tell her more? Like, ask to actually do something you like? Bring over a movie or something? Because what I'm hearing is that you keep masking who you are for her sake. You're softballing her, Caleb, and that might mean she trusts someone that you aren't." She didn't like saying that, but he'd asked for honest advice. Besides, Nic hadn't stepped lightly with Caleb before, and he deserved the continuation of that trend for all the trust he'd shown her. "I know it sucks, dealing with this. It always sucks, it's why I tell people to fuck off when they look my way, it's the only reason to avoid having friends. But keeping this... this mask on isn't right. I think you know that, I think it's why you feel so weird about this."

Nic blinked, startled with herself, but she was on a roll. "Can I just ramble for a second?" Nic asked rhetorically, "Here's the thing. I like you, I think I get you. And I'm guessing your ex got to see you, the real you. But you're pretending with this chick, Rose, like you don't know how fucked up it is out there. And that's what's bugging you. Not speaking your mind because you're afraid she'll freak. Which is nice and all, but not if it drives you off the deep end."

"if she did know more about me, she probably wouldn't trust me." Caleb said. "I don't know...and...girls make no fucking sense, no offense. I don't get how she'd think I hated her, but...okay, if you say so." Yeah. No sense whatsoever. "And maybe she shouldn't, it's not like I'm a nice guy. But...okay when I actually met her? Like I'd spoken to her on the phone and shit before then, but then I stopped in Ohio where she was. And we met and went out for pancakes or whatever, and she just...it was like she'd made all these arbitrary decisions about me. Like I was sweet, or a good person or some shit, and I guess I just...after hearing her say shit like that, how do you turn around and say 'you know, you're really a girl who's jumped to a lot of really unfounded fucking conclusions, and I'm not at all the guy you think I am'? And I even kinda tried to give her the idea that she was wrong out me from the get go, but she wouldn't really listen. It was kinda like talking to a brick wall, or maybe I just suck that bad at communication. Probably both. And now she's pissed that I'm not living up to it, I guess, I don't know. I know that the entirety of her is a lot of pressure. And I know she probably doesn't even realize that she's done it, but she did. I told her Marquette wasn't the place to go, I told her not to come here, and she just...showed up. And she showed up because of me." He realized vaguely that he probably lost his point somewhere in the middle there as he'd started explaining.

He sighed and looked back at her again, just letting her words sink in. "I am not the hero of the piece, Nic, and I think she set me up in her head like that. Maybe I should let it ride just because maybe now she'll realize that."

She was about to tell Caleb to say that to Rose, but hey. He already had. That was a stumper. "Yeah, maybe you should," she agreed slowly, doubting that he'd feel any better about all of this with that decision. "It really does sound like she puffed you up to be who she needed, someone to help her cope. But she's not coping. If I were you, I'd want to say something like ' I am not your friend, because you don't know who I am.' But I doubt she'd like that." Still, that was what Nic thought he needed to do for his own sake; to tear down the preconceptions so he didn't feel like he was stuck under standards he couldn't possibly live up to.

"Maybe... risk making her cry. Tell her everything you need to, then give it time. Put the ball in her court. Once she knows, if she still wants you around then it'd be you, right? Not the helpful hero? I mean, shit dude. She groomed you, I liked it all shaggy. But it's even, at least." Which made her smile and ignore the pain in her cheek. "She sounds disturbingly sweet. She could be scared of losing that if she owns up to what's happening, y'know? But it's not right to make you hold it all up."

He sighed, and thunked his head against the wall behind him, nodding a little. Then he paused and quirked a half smirk at her. Faint, but there. "So does this mean I'm not cute anymore, because I got my hair chopped?" he asked. To everything else, he could see her points. Actually, he could see all the points she'd made since they'd started talking about this. He just had to figure out how to fit them all together into something, and what he was going to do. It seemed like there were a couple of options, which at the very least meant he had things to think on. And direction, which he'd very badly needed.

" 'Fraid not, Quasimodo," Nic told him, curling her own half smirk back at him. "Get back in your belltower." Ah, familiar ground, the easy back-and-forth of taunting each other. The haircut did look good, but she couldn't admit it now. And she didn't necessarily have to, either. She just had to keep trying to bolster his spirits back to their usual cynical levels, instead of being outright miserable. Nic wanted to ask about something else he'd said; making the ex cry, but she didn't want to drag him right back down, so instead she picked out something he'd said much, much earlier. "So... you draw?" Nic asked, brow quirking curiously.

He chuckled lightly. "Yes ma'am." he told her, tipping off a light salute. Then he smirked at her. "But it means you definitely thought I was cute before." he added. Then moved on. "Yeah, I draw." he told her, actually sort of surprised that she'd managed to pick that out and remember it of all the shit he'd said since arriving. "Occasionally I'm told I'm good." he said with a shrug, which signified that he wasn't entirely sure what people were going on about when they said that. He supposed he was, but he didn't think he was amazingly awesome or anything.

"Oh dick," Nic was quick to snap, caught by her own wording. The scab-free cheek flushed a little, more visible without the makeup she normally wore, and she hunched forward a bit in embarrassment. "You did that on purpose, asshole," she went on, though she couldn't keep a chastising expression on for long. Who could blame her? Serious talks aside, she had fun talking with Caleb, fun that she didn't really get to have otherwise. "Do I get to see some sometime?" she asked, reaching back to free the main clip in her hair and secure the loose strands, letting it hang for a too-brief moment before it was all back in place. "Shit, you got to see mine already, it's only fair."

"Haven't I been saying in the last fourty five minutes or so that I'm an asshole? Did you miss that in my tirade?" he asked, laughing a little again. "I'm a dick, keep it in mind." he told her. "It'll save us a ton of trouble later." he said, then he shrugged one shoulder. He also kinda thought for a second there that she looked nice with her hair down. "If you give me a pen and some paper, I could sketch something." he told her. He didn't tell her it would be her, though. He thought she might pass if he told her ahead of time.

She eyed him skeptically for a moment, wary as if she had the same thought, but Nic nodded. "One sec," she said, hopping from the bed and tugging her overlarge shirt down as she walked across the bedroom. She grabbed a notebook and pen from her dresser, stuffing the pen in the wire ring and tossing both Caleb's way, then turning to her stereo. "I'm done rocking for the night," she said, more to herself than Caleb as she popped a new CD in, then moved to the bed to lounge again. "What're you gonna sketch?" Nic asked, giving a shrewd look to Caleb. Better not be me. Road rash on my face, Pantera shirt that Phil himself signed... yeah, I look like hammered shit.

He took the book and pen, then opened it up to a clean page near the back, before he propped it on his knees, shifting to get more comfortable. "Whatever I feel like." he told her, grinning. "You want me to sketch, or not? Just...pick a subject and start talking, I'm going to draw." he told her, and he started his sketch of her, which was a sort of variation of a few times he'd been with her. She had the scratch on her cheek, and her hair down, but it was her when she'd been spraypainting the devil-angel, and he even did an impression of that behind her on the details of the wall. In it, he had her looking back over her shoulder, body mostly turned towards her own art. He was taking his time on it, though, putting in a lot of little details.

Pick a topic? That was a stumper. Most of the time they'd hung out, Nic had listened, had given Caleb input on his thoughts or problems. And back to her problems with herself, what did she have to talk about that he might find interesting? She grabbed her remote, turning on the stereo with some low bass spilling out; a little Tricky was good for a relaxing environment. "I think I'm good to start what we talked about soon," she said, opting for something they'd already talked about. "With the knife and all? I still have to get one, but I want to get going on that. You got a spare I could borrow for when we hang out?" she asked, crooking a grin at him. Caleb seemed like the type who would have a couple.

He ticked his gaze up to her. "Sure." he said. Which, actually he didn't, not just laying around. His old knife he'd given to Leija, but he'd just make a point to buy one. and if she liked it, she could just keep it, or he'd tell her to keep it anyhow. He could make it sound feasible and everything. "And I should be disturbed that you just worded that like hanging out with me requires you to be armed, shouldn't I." he told her, shaking his head as he looked amused. He added in more shadows around her eyes, but not many. Then he went to work putting more detail into her hair.

"Says the man who offered to train me in the first place," Nic argued with a smirk, watching him move the pen across the page. At least he wasn't glancing up at her every five seconds, so hopefully she wasn't the subject of his art. "Hell, I was fine with hanging out unarmed before, remember? But sure, you be disturbed if you like. It'll group you in with everyone else I know." That didn't seem like much of a topic to linger on, though, so her lips pursed thin as she thought again. "Oh! I might be getting a job," she told Caleb, chuckling quietly as she recalled the encounter with Ash earlier that day. "I'm hoping it'd just be a few days a week, but if it pans out I'll be a proper greasemonkey."

"Nic, it's a disturbing commentary to make on me, not a reflection on you." He pointed out. "Unless everyone you know is disturbed by me. Then, okay. Still." he added, adding in darker shadows along the edge of the drawing, killing the light sources from those directions. "And really? That's cool--that mean you're going to start charging me when you come to work on my car?" he asked, smirking as he ticked his gaze up to her again for a moment before returning to the page.

"Actually?" She just let the word hang there for a second as she opted to chain smoke, rolling onto her back to point her cigarette towards the ceiling. "Except for my mom, who I think wants to meet you, that's the general opinion," Nic explained, grinning his way for a second. "Of course, the vast majority of that opinion is fuckknuckles at school who I hear talking in the halls. And ever since you said no one could settle on an opinion? Well, I listen when 'Caleb' gets mentioned." Which might've been less creepy in her own head if she knew that he stalked her in an oddly protective sense.

"Your mom wants to meet me?" Caleb asked. Oh shit. Not that he'd necessarily say no, it was just...weird. He'd never really been someone that people wanted their parents to meet, or their parents wanted to meet. In fact, he was pretty sure most people he knew avoided that kind of thing for a reason. He wondered what her stance on it was, but didn't ask, not wanting to put her on the spot about it. "Interesting." He paused for a few long moments, eyes on her. "So what is it you do hear?" he asked, not sure he wanted to know, but at the same time, he was filled with a morbid curiosity.

"I think she does," Nic reiterated, chuckling and shaking her head. "She asks about you, if we're hanging out, how're you doing, all that stuff." It was probably because she'd told her mom some questionable things about Caleb's sexual identity, and she'd have to set those straight before the two ever met. Which would lead to a whole different set of questions about him. God. "Really? I hear conflicting shit. People don't know exactly what to think, but they agree on the disturbed bit. I heard some girl talking about your buddy... Tom or someone, and you, and some girl? But apparently it was ancient history?" She'd wondered if the girl was the famous Ex, but Nic wasn't exactly going to bust out of the bathroom stall demanding answers. "A lot of the guys call you a skinny fag, a lot of the girls think you're just crazy. No one has enough detail to really make anything sound plausible."

He chuckled a little, shaking his head. "Right." he said. "...the Thom thing--never met the guy. He's my ex's ex. She dropped him sort of for me, I guess. I don't know. I wasn't part of that decision making process, and it kinda fucked everything up. Before then, I apparently 'stole' Thom's friend Isaac's girl too. I didn't know about him til after I'd hooked up with Jamie, though. She...was leading us both on, I think. Like I'm pretty sure he didn't know about me. She was...a fucked up bitch." he said, shaking his head. And she pushed me into my first breakdown. Good times. "As for the crazy...well, that probably fits. I'm pretty sure I know where they got that." he said, shrugging as he kept working at his drawing, putting a ton of detail into it. It was possible he kind of wanted to impress her, even if he wasn't even thinking about it. "My friend Dean's psycho ex girlfriend has art class with us. I'm pretty sure they overheard me say something about being in the psych ward."

And that sort of thing? That was why Nic hated highschool. "Everyone's nose-deep in everyone else's ass, sniffing for shit," she muttered, shaking her head and trying to remember what the chatty girls she'd eavesdropped on sounded like. "What's her name? I'll steal a dodgeball from gym class and save it for her," Nic promised, tucking her smoke into the ashtray and rolling to her feet. "And you thirsty at all, Diego Rivera? I'm gonna go grab a soda from the fridge."

"Janice. Hard to miss, she's some bitchy little freshman cheerleader. Bottle-blonde, too much makeup. If you hit her face, never touch the ball again it'll be covered in make-up." he told her. "And sure." he said, considering he wasn't actually planning on leaving anytime soon. He was kind of relaxing slowly the longer he was here, so...he'd go with that.

"If I throw? I'm hitting a bitch in the face," Nic explained simply, winking at him. "Balls for a dude, face for a chick. And sit tight then." She cracked her door, slipping into the darkness of the house with a careful quiet to make up for her faint limp, working her way to the kitchen. Nic smiled to no one as she cracked the fridge, grabbing two cans and sighing a little. Hanging out was just... good. Despite all the weirdness he seemed to have with women in general, despite his unveiling of the stranger side of life, she liked having Caleb around. She pushed the fridge shut gently and ducked back into her room, easing the door shut again. "Oh, since I didn't say before? No, I won't charge you for working on your car. I will demand choosing the destination of a road trip somewhere far off in the future," she finally answered, handing him his soda and dropping back onto her bed, bouncing slightly on the mattress.

Caleb looked up and smiled at that. "Deal." he told her. Plus a road trip without something dire going on and with a friend sounded like an excellent idea to him. He took the soda, and cracked it open, taking a long drink. One thing he kind of forgot about when he was in hardcore brooding mode was doing silly little things like eating or drinking. Then he eyed his drawing critically for a few moments, then her. Then he took it and tossed the book in her direction.

She was a little awkward about catching it, her occupied hand joining the free one to clumsily snag the notebook as it flew her way. "Dick," Nic said again, smiling at Caleb before she glanced down. She went still, her eyes widening as she inhaled softly, surprised by what she saw there. It wasn't the girl she ever saw, that was for certain. There was a quiet mystery to the expression he'd given her, and she thought she'd probably wear her hair down more often if it looked half as good as the drawing. Nic's smile blossomed again as she touched the drawing lightly, one fingertip tracing the wing of the painting she'd done that night in the harbor. As much as she'd argue that it wasn't her? It was good. "...At least you got my face right-ish," she offered eventually, looking back to him with the little smile in place as she reached up to touch the scabs on her cheek. "Thanks."

He smirked at her. "Yeah, I tried." he said. "And you're welcome. There, now you've seen my artwork." he told her. "We're even." He'd of course been paying incredibly strict attention to her to catch her reaction. He figured that it was positive, no matter what she said. It wasn't the words he was interested in anyhow, words didn't mean a whole lot. No, it was just her general reaction that he'd been watching for. Her eyes, he'd caught that little intake of breath. She'd reached out to touch it. Yeah, he chalked it up as having done well. "I generally draw people." he told her. Which was the truth. He generally drew the people around him. Putting a lot of effort into details and how he viewed them, his own cracked lens of the world.

"Between using each other's windows and this? Yeah," Nic agreed, looking back down to the page for another moment, "We're even." Some part of her wanted to show it off, to dispel the rumors about Caleb with a glimpse of what he could do. THe rest of her, however, knew he'd hate that. And besides, it was her in the drawing, which made it deeply private to Nic. "But I can tell," she went on, nodding and looking down again, "Your proportion's pretty good. I read some anatomy composition stuff when I started tagging? And this looks almost dead-on. Hell, I should be more gangly." Though she was glad she wasn't.

He listened, still watching her really closely as he drank his soda. "I've just been kind of doing that my entire school career, because I'd start drawing when I was bored in class. I just never grew out of it I guess." And continued to refine. "And maybe you're less gangly than you think you are." he told her. "Or maybe that's just how I see you." he added. Since that was more the truth of the matter.

"Huh," Nic replied, swigging her own soda down and reclaiming her cigarette. "Well... I think you need glasses," she teased, though her heart wasn't really in it. Sure, they could banter, but he'd just given her this... this incredible thing, and in a way? It felt like another little bit of trust, like telling her about the hospital or his family. So she wasn't looking to mess with him too much tonight. Just a little. Can't have him thinking I'm getting soft. "I was gonna say that you didn't learn this in art classes up here, no chance in hell. But you should draw more. Not of me? Just in general, unless you already do a lot and I'm just now finding out."

"I actually started drawing more since I got to town." Caleb admitted. "I guess sometimes it helps me thing. Or not to think, if that makes sense. Most people don't see them, that's all." he told her. Taht was the truth. He did little drawings for people here and there, but generally speaking, his artwork wasn't something he displayed, or told people about. "And I don't need glasses. They don't come in 'minds eye' frames anyways." he told her, smirking at her. "And even if they did, my mind needs a hell of a lot more correction than that."

"Like a brain-lense?" Nic suggested with a crook in her brow. "I mean, I get the private aspect. I don't exactly show my stuff off either. Mainly because it's illegal and all. But yeah, it's a private thing. I just go out when I need to not worry about anything, and I paint. And when I'm done I'm not thinking about whatever's bothering me. Just about my tags." She set the notebook aside, mentally amending to put the drawing somewhere safe and private later. "But I'd be cool to see more of your stuff, if you felt like showing any of it to me."

He shrugged. "I've got drawing pads at home you could probably look through." he told her. "If you wanted to." He just knew he'd not show her the one that had mostly Leija throughout it, mostly because there was the one he had done of the scars on her back, and that was Leija's secret, not his so he wasn't up for showing anyone that one. And a lot of them were so focused, that he just...wouldn't be sharing that one. It was a little too revealing about how his head worked. Everything else she could see, and it would give her another look at the inside of his head, but just not too much information on Leija. "Fair warning, generally speaking, I've got darker subject matter--not that I think you would really mind or anything, just...yeah. Fair warning."

Nic smirked, tucking her ashtray back under the bed and hopping up to shut the window again. "Well, I've been warned. What with all the Hannah Montana posters I have, I can see why you're wanting me to know," she joked, settling back down. "Seriously, it won't be weird to me. I'd really like to check it out. And some night if you need a walk or... just want to hang out? I can show you a few tags I did. They might be painted over by now, but we won't know until we get there." He probably needed the offer, if what he'd said thusfar was true and she really did level out his headspace.

"I'd like to see other things you've done." Caleb said readily enough. Because he did. He'd liked what he'd seen her do, he would be curious to see what else she had going. What else she might have come up with. "I think the closest thing I've done to what you do, is I put a shadow once on the inside of the orphanage." he said. He didn't tell her it was Leija's shadow. He didn't tell her he'd done it just before he'd tried to kill himself, either. Those were details she just didn't need to know. But she might be interested to know either way. "It was charcoal. It's washed off now, though." What with him having asked Dorian to do that.

"A shadow?" That had her intrigued, and she wondered if it was a solid shape or an outline or what. "I haven't been in the orphanage for a while. Last time, I was kinda drunk? Tore my hand up on a loose nail, my mom freaked. Made me get tetanus shot and all that. So I think a safety buddy is in order if I do go back." And now she wanted to, even if his shadow-drawing was gone. The orphanage was good and secluded, fun to explore. Honestly, she thought it'd be a suiting environment for Caleb, at least as far as his demeanor. "Hell, you're already good with a pen. I'll loan you my fatboy markers, see if there's a tagger inside of you, Lockwood."

"Yeah, a shadow." Caleb said, smiling faintly. "I'd go back. I kind of like the place." he told her. And he hadn't wandered around it nearly enough, in his opinion. It would be weird, going back there without Leija, but maybe he needed to. Maybe that would be good for him or something. Cathartic? Maybe. He wondered if Nic would bitch at him as much as Leija had if he snagged another cross, where one sort of had to risk falling to one's death to get one. "And sure, we'll see. I'd be game for it." he told her. "The roof is a bitch to get to, but worth it for the view. Though i've often wanted to explore the basement." Which would be a hell of a lot harder, because hello with the no light. Floors above ground level were pitch fucking black. Going down would be worse. But he still wanted to.

She'd never made it to the roof, so that idea had instant appeal to Nic. Bracing one hand against her cheek, Nic dared a genuine smile for Caleb. "Awesome, I'm gonna hold you to that. God knows I have plenty of nights doing exactly what I was when you came knocking, and I already know all the words to my discs." She chuckled a little, looking at him earnestly. "Besides, I'm taking a break from the high-risk skating, remember? So I have even less to do now, since I don't feel like kicking my own ass much more."

"You know, I think that's a wise decision." Caleb said, smiling faintly back. Particularly since he'd dropped pretense the other night and flat out told her not to pull that shit anymore. "So, orphanage basement explorations coming up. I don't have a lot to do either. And possibly even less now, with my current situations with the other women in my life. So...yeah, I'm down. We'll have to be prepared, and it'll probably be ass fucking cold down there, but somehow I think we'll tough it out."

"Well it's a good thing we both look so good in sweatshirts, hm?" Nic asked, winking his way. It sounded like a fun plan already; she liked the dilapidated space, it was peaceful and removed from everything else. Which probably made her a little weird? But Nic was used to that by now. And she liked Caleb's company, as well as giving him the reprieve he so often seemed to need. Already thinking ahead, Nic was mentally tallying things to bring as she reclined on the bed again. "You really do need to work out all these... women situations," she suggested, "God, what would you do without me to help?"

Have another nervous breakdown and probably try to kill myself again. Caleb's inner cynic piped up immediately. But hey, was he ever not saying that! Hell no. Not ever. He reached up to tug his fingers through his shorter hair, and smirked at her. "Crash and burn?" he suggested, tone lightly playful. Like it wasn't some form of the truth. "Be a hell of a lot less entertained? I don't know but you seem pretty vital these days." he continued, tone that same playful tone. Nevermind there was truth to it. Then he grinned at her, a decidedly wicked bent to it. "Or, alternately, they'd get together, and plot my imminent demise."

Vital? Her? Me? Nic couldn't hide the surprise in her eyes, joking tone or no, but thankfully before it could settle in Caleb gave her that evil smile and snapped her out of it. "Shit, ever think they've already started plotting?" she suggested, giving him a smaller grin of her own, "I'm gonna make some fat cash off my insider information." As always, the banter was good. His 'crash and burn' joke wasn't entirely a joke to her even; she knew about his time in the psych ward, so there had to be a grain of truth in it. "Of course, I'll try to keep you nice and stress-free until they're ready to do you in."

"Right, I'm sure you can pick up a pretty penny for lulling me into a false sense of security. It'll make their lives so much easier." Caleb said, smirking at her. "Because yeah, I figure they've started plotting. They probably did today when I was brilliant enough to send one girl who was pissed at me to deal with another one. This is all my own fault really. So when they come to take my dumb ass down, it won't be unexpected. But hey, if you make a mint off of it, all the better. Then everyone's happy, right?" he teased.

"Right," Nic agreed, tilting her can back for another drink. "And don't worry, I'll take care of your car once they get you. Better care than you do, vampires or not." Her smile turned into an expression of mock-horror as Nic shook her head alarmingly. "Oh Caleb, you sent one girl who's mad at you to talk to the other? Tsk tsk, for real. That's just... that's just asking for trouble. Which fits with what I know about you already, at least."

He chuckled and shook his head. "at least they would have something to bond over?" he suggested. "The goal wasn't to keep anyone happy with me, it was to make sure Rose isn't having a full on fucking breakdown. And the best person to deal with it was Leija...it made sense at the time..." he protested. "Honestly, I'm not that masochistic! I didn't do it on purpose!"

So that was her name. Leija. Nic had heard it in the halls once or twice, but not in some time now. She'd just stow it away like she did so many other things, watch and listen, fill in the gaps missing from her perspective. She was, after all, far too curious about the girl who'd made such an impression on Caleb. "Dude?" Nic asked with a skeptical look, "Show me your stitches, then tell me you're not masochistic." She grinned immediately after, shaking her head at him. "Just fucking around, I know you're not. If this blows up in your face? You know you can hide out here."

He chuckled. "Do I get to share the bed, or am I going to be laying on the floor like a stray dog?" he asked, purposely going for that, just to rib her a little. She kind of got a little cute or flailey when he did, and who knew, that might even earn him a punch in the arm from her. "Thanks. I appreciate it. They'd never find me here. Which...this is the only place I'd want to be that I couldn't be found at. So, I appreciate it." he said more seriously. "...and my stitches were just the result of something I was required to do. For you I might add. And if they'd quit fucking itching, that'd be awesome."

She was in the middle of finishing her drink when he asked about sleeping space, and Nic choked on her soda, pinching her nose shut a second later. "Augh," she groaned, "God that fucking burns..." For exactly two seconds, Nic was focused on the soda she'd nearly sprayed out her nostrils. Then her gaze darted over to Caleb, followed by the empty can a second later as she flung it at him. "I so need a better word for you than 'dick'," she snapped, glaring at him and fighting the smile he was obviously trying to compel from her with his own. "You get to sleep under the bed with my nasty socks and secret ashtray, so you smell like feet and butts. Cigarette butts, but still butts."

He laughed, holding up a hand to fend off the attack, and any others that might follow suit. It was genuine laughter, though, true amusement. He'd figured he'd get something thrown at him, he hadn't expected to practically coke her. "Under the bed. Right. Check. Smelling bad, all that..." he rattled off, looking still just amused as hell. "It'll be hard to draw under there though. And isn't it a little cliche...?" he asked looking wholly unrepentant.

"How about in the closet, then?" Nic suggested, letting her feet drop from the bed to the floor, "At least then I'm not lying to my mom about you." She shot him a challenging look, raising her fist warningly like she'd done plenty of times now and waving it. "Keep cracking wise, Lockwood, and I won't give you any lotion for those stitches. I'll just let you itch, which is probably worse than you pretending my punches actually hurt."

"Your punches would probably hurt someone who didn't practice blood magic." Caleb said helpfully, grinning at her. "But okay okay. The closet's fine for an emergency, and I'll behave. Really, I'll be angelic, even." he told her. Then he paused, eyeing her critically. "...though it occurs that if I did behave, you'd have a lot less fun with me. I mean really, let's be honest here. You keep me around because I occasionally amuse you, and you can't necessarily predict what I'll say or do at any given moment."

More than occasionally, Nic mused, still leaning in his direction like she might get up and slug him anyway. "If you behaved, we'd both have a lot less fun. You'd be dating a cheerleader or something messed up, and I'd laugh at you when I saw you in the halls." He was cute enough, though she wouldn't admit thinking so. But lucky for her, he was just too bitter, too twisted, to fit into the world of the people Nic hated. "Besides, I don't want to predict what you do. That'd be boring, and I'd never get to hit you."

"And really that's just part of your charm, so how about I skip it." Caleb said. Then paused. "If I was dating a cheerleader, I think I'd have to kill her inside twenty four hours. Or myself. I mean, if there's a concept of hell that's truly frightening...." he trailed off. It hit a little close to home for him, but she didn't know that. He could go with the humor on the subject. It was better than brooding for the time being. He wasn't up for brooding. He'd come here so he could not spin his wheels. And really Nic was very, very good at making sure he didn't.

"My charm? Weird-ass," Nic spat out, flashing some teeth in her smile. As much as she didn't like his odd little compliments, it was easier to take as long as she told herself he was just messing with her. "Without making this into some gay pinky-swear kind of thing? I'm pretty simple. Don't go thinking you ever need to change around me like you were doing for your friend, Rose, okay?" she asked him, taking a moment to be serious. "I'm cool with you, Lockwood. With everything you told me or showed me. So... no behaving, okay?"

He looked at her for a long moment, just kind of...taking that in. "That's one of the reasons I like being around you." he told her after what felt like a longer time than it truly was. "I don't really feel the need to put up a front. That and I laugh a lot more when I'm with you." he admitted. He smiled, even. He recalled that he had a sense of humor. Things weren't always direly serious where everything out of his mouth was giong to have to be analyzed, and could potentially hurt someone's feelings. Where it would be read in, and everything was so precarious, that if it wasn't read in the best light, everything got worse. "I appreciate you." he told her. Then paused. "That non-gay-pinky-swear enough for you?"

Nic laughed, nodding in answer to his question. "You'd better appreciate me, buddy." Reaching behind one ear, Nic grabbed a braid and twisted it idly, watching Caleb thoughtfully. "It's a good thing when you can laugh, you know. So much shit out there?" she said, waving at the window vaguely, "So not worth taking seriously. But everyone does... so I laugh at them. And I think you're getting the hang of it? So I appreciate you too."

That's the thing, though. I take all the other shit seriously. The shit no one else even knows is out there, and it's a lot. Caleb thought, but didn't say. He knew what she meant. "Yeah, I'm getting the hang of it. It's still a little new for me though. Generally speaking, I could probably be described as 'sullen', even." he told her. "I'm just less so around you. So, feel accomplished. I'm a miserable bastard a lot of the time but sometimes you make me forget that part."

She hadn't meant to get all serious, but it seemed like they were lingering. And as Caleb spoke, she saw that tension again. Like he said, it was less than usual, but it was still there. Sometimes he forgets. That made her smile a little, bittersweet over the idea that she could actually make someone's life better with her company. Aside from her mom, of course. Nic made up her mind right then, hopping from her bed to pad the short distance between them. "Tell anyone about this and I'm going to put your phone in your ass, then call it repeatedly," she warned as she crouched down, leaned forward with an uncertain look in her eyes, and slid her arms around Caleb in a light hug. He just... seemed like he needed one. Like he might've needed one for a while now, even if she was the worst source of them in the entire Upper Peninsula.

He looked up at her as she got closer, eyes following hers as she crouched down, and then he was getting a hug. Which kind of shocked the shit out of him. He didn't so much twitch about it either. He'd probably lost a bit of the twitching over her touching him when she'd say, had her hands on his arm keeping the bleeding from getting worse while he'd been stitching himself up. That and when he'd patched her up. So...he didn't tense up so bad as he might have otherwise. And, after a second, he hugged her back, even if he wasn't quite sure how she'd take that. Either way, it was kinda nice, in a way he couldn't really describe.

The return of the gesture was, well, surprising. Nic had expected him to take it, say something witty, and pull back. So when he didn't? Well, she just stayed there for a second, feeling the play of muscles in his back as his arms slid around her. "You'll be the only guy whose asshole plays Soundgarden," she joked in a quiet voice, her arms tightening for a brief squeeze before releasing slowly.

He didn't try to keep her there or anything, though when she pulled back, he let his hands slide down her back a little bit as they dropped back down away from her. "As amusing as that is, and you know how deeply being original is important to me, I think I'll just...keep this to myself." he told her. Seemed like a private thing, anyhow. He was aware that she wasn't exactly a huggy girl. Not like, say, Lullaby, who he could see was pretty snuggly in general. Nic wasn't like that at all. Any contact he got from her was because she was hitting him, or trying to keep his blood on the inside. That thought brought up the mental imagery of her walking, hand covered in blood as she just sort of played with it. Which kind of gave him an idea for a drawing of her that she would not be seeing.

The feel of his hands moving down her back was nice, leaving Nic with an awkward grin that was just as easily from the hug itself as anything else. She didn't move back to her bed, instead sitting down on the floor in front of him and nodding. "I appreciate it. I've sorta put a lot of work into cultivating an image. If it gets ruined? God, I can't deal with all those people." The smile dimmed a little as she winked, shaking her head at herself. "And don't go expecting those on a regular basis either. I only build up maybe one or two a year."

He smiled at her. It was lightly tinted with a smirk, but only just that little touch. "I'll try not to be such a needy bastard who you feel has to have them." he said. "So it should even out then. I won't be needy, you won't feel obligated to be affectionate against your will. I think it'll work out. And both of our reputations will be safe. I mean, what would I do if people started being able to get a bead on me?" he asked. "The rumors alone would get a lot less fun and exciting." he told her, watching her eyes.

She was watching his smile, the subtle changes in it when it wasn't edged with cynicism. "What did I say five minutes ago? Don't behave," she agreed, looking up to Caleb's gaze and containing a fidget as she realized he was studying her. "I'm not looking for a submissive. And I think the rumors might get weirder. Like, 'oh hey I heard Caleb is on lithium', 'oh well I heard he got a lobotomy because he bit a dude's nose off'," Nic suggested, laughing a moment later.

Caleb had a few errant thoughts on her wording there. The whole not behaving thing. Because he could think of a course of action or two that would fall under that heading, which he wasn't in any way acting on, but the thoughts crossed his mind most definitely. "I'm only a submissive when being held down, and usually not for long." Caleb commented, flashing an impish sort of grin at her, mostly because he figured it would make her twitch again. "And hey those rumors would be pretty cool. I'd be fine with them."

He figured right; Nic blinked in belated realization, sitting upright and shooting a wary glance at Caleb. "Okay, did I need to know that?" she asked, putting on a disgusted face. "Would I ever have found out without you telling me? No." It wasn't that Nic was completely inexperienced in such things, she just hadn't been in them for a while now. She shook her head, disregarding the subject entirely. "Well, I'll make a note to work that in with our others ideas for the 'truth' about Caleb."

Caleb chuckled. "You're the one who brought up submissives." he pointed out, but then dropped the subject as well. "And the truth about me. Manufactured and off the wall. I still fail to see what it is about me that makes people talk. I'm sure there are more interesting people around to deal with. Newer people as well, is it me, or are there a ton of new people wandering around lately?"

"A ton?" Nic thought about that, figuring there probably were and she just hadn't met them yet. Only Nate and Drea, really, but both were cool enough. "Well... probably? I think some of them have probably heard the news about me and they're steering clear. But yeah, I've noticed a few. Seems like they're okay though, not filled with the Suck that comes with being from the area." Maybe not, but she hadn't seen anything to disprove her theory thusfar. "Who've you been meeting that makes you say that?"

"I don't know. A girl named Elise the other day. I'm newish. Leija is, Rose is, my friend Dean...there's just a lot going around, I suppose. I think I might have actually met more people who aren't from around here than actual locals." Caleb said. "But really they could start talking about them any time now. Think if I started spreading the rumor that I'm a serial killer, it would stop?" Then he paused. "wait. Whenever anyone interviews the people who knew serial killers, they always say what a nice, unassuming guy he was. Fuck, that blows that theory."

"Huh. Add three more to your pile then. I met that girl, Drea? Told you about her," Nic added, mentally tallying up the names he'd rattled off. "And this kid Nate, we ditched third hour together. He was alright. Plus this chick Lily, but that was before the masquerade, even." But it sounded like Caleb was right; there was a population boom in the works. "Maybe the real estate skyrocketed up here. No other reason to move, given how fucked up things have been. Let's just add all of them to my listening checklist though, rumors at school are never as funny as when someone's brand new."

He quirked a half smile. "Right, do that then." he said. "I don't know. Sometimes I think something's happening around here. And yeah, I know, Captain Obvious and everything, but I mean seriously. Like everything's on this downward spiral, and this is just the start of it." he said. Then sighed. "And yes, I'm a pessimistic bastard. But you knew that."

She frowned his way, as much from the words as from the sigh. Nic couldn't blame him, though. She knew practically nothing, but just knowing there were vampires and bird people and who-knew-what out there? She could see how a flood of new students could be an omen. "Maybe it's like that 'Faculty' movie," she suggested, trying to ease the seriousness a little, "They're aliens, and you'll get to stab the football team in the eyes with a pen." In truth, Nic didn't like to dwell on it yet. She'd be alone eventually tonight, and really? How could things be much worse than they'd been during the vampire attacks?

"Well, that would make me feel better." Caleb said, going with the lighter, teasing sort of tone. "Though topping out my list of popular assholes I'd like to see dead, Chrissy is still number one. I swear, if I saw that bitch getting devoured by rabid weasels, I'd just hang out to watch." he said. And while he sounded like he was kidding--he actually wasn't. He would hang back and watch her die. He just would.

And for any insight Nic had on Caleb, there was still plenty she didn't know. Things like what he'd just said still struck her as jokes, albeit incredibly deadpan ones. Fighting vampires was one thing; a distant, still fantastic one in her mind. Letting another human die? Well, Nic wasn't sure she could buy him doing that. "Yeah, I wouldn't mind a show like that either," she agreed with a dark smirk. "Maybe slather her in gravy and toss her to some tigers. But Chapman earns her enemies, I know that. What'd she do to you?"

"It was less what she did to me directly." Caleb said. "...when I first got here this summer, there was a girl I sort of got involved with. I met her on the beach with Chrissy--who tried to hit on me, but I wasn't interested. Jamie, I was though. But Jamie...fuck. Bitch was crazy. And honestly? I think that it was her. I think that most of the fucked up cracked psyche that Jamie wound up with was due to Chrissy manipulating her for years. After a while she just...broke down. Put it this way, after seeing that Jamie had me over at her house? Chrissy threw a paperweight through her bedroom window in retaliation. And that's just one small example of the fucked up that went on there." From the way he spoke, it was pretty clear that Caleb had actually cared a lot about the girl in question, even if he did call her a crazy bitch. She'd effected him pretty hardcore. It was a lot of her influence that wound up responsible for his first breakdown--not that he was sharing that. He just couldn't fully edit out the underlying emotion in his tone when he talked about her.

Yeah, you didn't have to have a degree in psychology to see the underlying emotion there, or that there was plenty unsaid. Nic had known of Jaime, though she'd never known Caleb had dated her. Of course, she didn't pay attention to the boring rumors of who's-fucking-who, just the juicy and insane ones. "That girl feeds on drama like some fucked-up vampire, I swear," she muttered, "All listening to Fallout Boy instead of the howling of the wolves. It's like, Gabe? Hockey cock who needs to swallow his own teeth? Dude's a tool, but I bet he'd be slightly less so if he'd never dated Chapman."

"I'm pretty sure that proximity to that girl immediately starts killing the soul. And braincells, but mostly the soul. After a while there's just an empty, zombie-esque husk left. That's kind of what Jamie reminded me of. She just...she was so fucked on the emotional front that it was like there weren't boundaries anymore, no clear lines. And like it needed a killswitch. She literally used to stress herself out so bad that her muscles would lock up. It was..." he shook his head. "Bad. But yeah, I just...I lay that at Chrissy's feet. I don't think Jamie started out that way. She just wound up insane. So yeah. I'm pretty sure Chrissy just feeds off of people's souls, and no one's really noticed."

"Shame you can't deal with her the same as the vampires," Nic murmured, watching Caleb thoughtfully. She gave him the benefit of the doubt, but still wanted to see his expression with the thought of killing another person. After all, he knew magic. He fought monsters. She trusted him, but still wanted to see where the lines were drawn. "Human monsters... those must be the tough fights."

He stilled a little bit. He wouldn't actually go out of his way to kill her. He could, but he wasn't there yet. Yet. He still feared he would be one day. And that put a shadow over his features, and he looked away. Letting her die was one thing, actively hunting her down was another. But sometimes? He wanted to. Just to save everyone else the trouble. Just to be the hand of karma. "Human monsters...there's.." he didn't finish, and realized he needed to pull it together a little better, but his mind flashed on the demon bar again. All the things he'd seen there. How it didn't compare.

"No easy answers?" Nic suggested in a soft voice, kicking herself for even pushing that boundary. Caleb looked bitter with whatever he was thinking, and it was her fault. She'd never stumped him with a lack of something to say, that was for certain. "Well, don't dwell on it. Someone's going to beat us both to Chapman, I bet. Girl's pissed off enough people that she needs a bulletproof slut-skirt for her cheerleading uniform," Nic tried, stretching a foot out enough to give Caleb a little shove as she smirked his way.

He looked down at her foot when she nudged him, then ticked his gaze back up to her eyes. He gave her the ghost of a smile. "...I was just thinking that there are some things that.." he didn't finish the thought. "Yeah, something'll get to her at some point. Karma, if nothing else." he said, switching tracks there. And he tried to get the mental imagery of the person being skinned and cauterized out of his mind. Some things you couldn't unsee, and that was one of them.

Whatever track of thought he was on, he seemed stuck there by the severity of it. "You know... I want to ask what it is bugging you back there, behind your eyes," Nic told him with a shrewd look, "But I won't. Somehow I doubt you'd tell me. Don't gotta keep it all to yourself though, just remember that." She'd made the offer, though Nic didn't doubt that whatever he'd seen could give her nightmares. He'd fought the vampires head-on, had been using powers that were killing him. Who knew how many of those scars she'd seen had come from the former camp?

Caleb didn't say anything for a long time, just watching her. It was an intense study of her, as his mind ticked over everything she'd said, and everything he knew of her to date. His major malfunction was so close to the surface then, and he almost did want to tell her. Not the specifics--because no. Just no. If she never had to know even part of what he'd seen there, then she'd live a lot happier life. he didn't need to haunt her with it, not like he was. But the desire was there, the urge to talk about it. Just so he didn't have to carry it on his own anymore. But he didn't. "You wouldn't want to know." he told her eventually, voice slightly quieter than before. "...fuck I wouldn't want you to know."

She smiled strangely at that, a knowing smirk as Nic nodded faintly. "Not saying I do. Just that I want to ask, to give you the chance to not keep it to yourself. I can handle helping someone carry a fucked up burden, y'know." It was the same reason she'd told him about her memory loss, after all; secrets built up pressure inside one's head, and eventually they needed to be vented out, shared in their enormity. "Don't you worry about me, Lockwood. I'm not exactly the delicate sort. Just... remember? I'll listen if you want to talk. And I'll ask when you look like you need to. Just keep telling me no if you like."

Again, Caleb was studying her, not saying anything immediately. "I know you'd listen." he said. "Which is probably the problem." Because she'd probably listen, and then never forget. Which would be the kicker. It wasn't something that one blew off like nothing, after all. Hell, he was a half demon, a being that was missing pretty key bits of humanity, important emotional patterns, all that shit, and it still blindsided him with badness. So for someone like her...as much as they were compatible people, as much as they were a lot alike in a lot of respects--no. He wouldn't do that to her, even if he was tempted. "Don't take this the wrong way, Nic," he started. "But I wouldn't want to crack down the remains of your innocence. And yeah, before you throw a fit at me, you've got some. I appreciate it too much to destroy it."

She wanted to argue that, even if Nic knew he was right. There were a small handful of things she knew made her innocent in some regard. Still, it was frustrating to know he was just going to choke down whatever was getting to him. Nic wondered if maybe this sort of thing had factored in with his ex, Leija. If she'd known the truth to some degree and couldn't deal with not knowing it all. Or maybe if she'd learned too much, and just couldn't take it. "Well, when it's all gone, I expect some answers, okay?" she offered instead, offering a smile that was sad for his sake. Caleb didn't deserve whatever had happened, no more than he deserved suffering its aftermath alone like this.

He kept watching her eyes, and he nodded, not breaking the eye contact. "Okay." he told her. He didn't know if he would or not. Or if she'd ever get to a point where he didn't feel like he'd be crashing down a worldview or giving her nightmares for the rest of her life by telling her what had happened. What he'd seen. But he actually kind of liked the possibility. Like even if he didn't ever get there, there was one little sliver of hope that he wouldn't have to sit on it forever by himself. Or, maybe he just liked the idea that she wanted to know. And she was smart enough to know that she might not get answers but she asked anyways. That...meant something to him. He gave her a smile after a few moments that mirrored hers a bit. There was a bit of sorrow to it, beneath the surface. "Just don't mind me if I keep hoping that it never dies completely."

His words got a small, touched laugh from her; a delighted sound he'd earned with that little, sentimental comment. "Well, you'll just have to keep an eye on me to make sure it doesn't then," she told him, "Plus, that way I can ask you over and over. One way or another, I'll find out. I'm a stubborn bitch, after all." And while her inner cynic said that she wouldn't get to the levels of trust he had with some of his other friends, Nic knew she already had someone reliable in Caleb. It was good enough for her just the way it was. "In fact? I should probably just go ahead and return your offer. My window? Always open if you need one to climb through."

"Yeah, but you're an endearing stubborn bitch, and I won't mind if you keep asking." Caleb said. He'd actually feel better if she did. It would mean that she hadn't forgotten, or just stopped caring. "And trust me, I plan to keep an eye on you, try to keep that innocence intact as much as possible. I like you just fine as is." Which was flat truth. He really did. He liked her a lot, in fact. And every time he spent time with her, he found new things he liked, and they added in a little at a time. "I'm going to remind you you said that when I do that in the middle of winter, and you get icy cold air in your bedroom at three in the morning." he told her, giving her just the faint traces of a smirk.

"You'll get icy cold feet in your balls," Nic retorted with a death glare. Part of her wanted to crack wise about the 3 AM part of it too, but she hesitated there. Obviously, Caleb's damage ran deeper than she'd known before, and this was the second time he'd come looking for her in the hope of ridding himself of darker thoughts. So if the third time happened to be a three or four in the morning visit? She'd leave that option open for the same reasons he wanted to try and protect her. "And even if you're keeping a creepy, stalkerish eye on me? Not at school. I have an image to protect," she joked, huffing disdainfully for a moment and winking at Caleb.

"You know that doesn't encourage me to use the offer you just told me about..." he said, smirking at her more fully this time, particularly at the wink. And he curbed an urge that rose up in the back of his mind. "So I'm allowed to climb in your window, but I might have to sacrifice my balls for it...think I'd stick with the mental truama." he teased. "And yes, yes. You have a rep. I will do everything in my power to keep it up for you, and not damage it in the slightest. I can be stupidly overprotective very quietly. Plus I'm good at stalking, no one'll even know I'm there." he assured her, that smirk still in place.

"Fine," Nic said dramatically, throwing her hands up, "Your balls are safe, okay? Just c'mon in, grab a blanket, and get in the closet." She wondered vaguely if that might make her feel better, if it could alleviate some of the unmemorable nightmares that seemed to plague her like clockwork. "Well, if I see you, you're in trouble. I'll have to start beating up underclassmen to keep my little kingdom of one intact, and I don't have time for that." If she'd known just how good he was at quiet stalking? Well, Nic would've been flattered and spooked simultaneously.

"Somehow I don't think you'd actually have any trouble beating up upperclassmen." Caleb told her. "In fact, I'm sure you could hand some of them their asses no problem." And hey, he was being honest there. She held herself like she could hold her own. It was just in posture, things like that. Little cues. "And yes ma'am." he told her, knocking off a salute. "Blanket, and straight into the closet, like a good dirty little secret."

That got another small laugh from Nic, one that slowly turned into a stifled yawn as she stretched one arm taut to the side. "Mmm, best kinds of secrets. Perfect size, and clean ones are boring. But I think I'm about ready to pass out and drool on myself, thereby improving what you see in front of you," she said self-mockingly with a waggle of her brow that was straight-up Groucho. "You can hang out if you want. Maybe read me a story if it's sufficiently bloody, or..." Tuck me in. That just sounded... a little more suggestive than she felt like she could get away with, considering. But she couldn't leave that hanging, or he'd call her on it. "... or climb back to where you came from, maybe go get in some more trouble with my gender," Nic said instead.

"I've had more than enough of that kind of trouble tonight, thanks." Caleb said. "Any more, and it might kill me." Nevermind it kinda sorta came close before... Then he paused, and seemed to look her over critically. "Drool I think might take away from the look you've got going on." he told her, quirking a smirk at her. "It's fine as is." He pushed himself to his feet, and after a moment's thought, offered her a hand up, if she wanted to take it. "I think you're a little too young and delicate for my kinds of bedtime stories, though, so I'll probably just be fucking off to head home."

She took the hand, rising to her feet with only a slight lurch from her ankle, and promptly shoved Caleb back towards the window with her other hand. "Delicate my ass," Nic chided, twisting her hand around to flip Caleb off. "You oughta see what goes on in my head. It's like a GWAR video when I close my eyes," she joked, moving over a few steps to where she'd shoved him near the window. "Just get on home, Lockwood. Come bug me next time you run out of sane sources of advice, or I'll call you when I feel like playing in condemned buildings."

He let her shove him, backing up a pace or two to keep his balance, even if he was grinning at her impishly. He curbed another urge, and turned towards the window to open it back up again. "Alright, alright, I'm out." he told her. "Have awesome Gwar-themed dreams. I'll see you sometime soon." he promised, dropping down out of her window. At least he felt better. Better, and he had a lot to think about, really. But it wasn't all bad, so...that was a start.

The window didn't shut immediately. Nic leaned down into the frame, arms crossing for a chin-rest the same way they had when Caleb had arrived. She watched him go, smiling curiously. Had there been something devilish in his eyes just then? Probably just another wisecrack, she told herself as she watched Caleb get swallowed by the shadows between streetlights. "Smartass," she muttered with a grudging smile aimed his way, tugging the window closed and moving for her bed. It was a good way to end the night, especially when she could sleep as late as she liked tomorrow. Her window finally went dark as Nic turned her stereo down low, hopped into bed, and smiled privately over the idea that she'd done something good for a friend.