tell your mom I said hi.

who: kaysen and thom
where: thom's back porch
when: late night

It was getting on towards nightish. It was dark, anyways, as Kaysen walked over to sit on Thom's back porch. Sure, she could knock. Or ring the doorbell. Or y'know, totally just open up the door and walk in like she owned the place. But...she didn't. Because she still wasn't at all sure what she was going to say. There were words. Opinions, in fact, but...expressing things wasn't really her forte.

Alright, she did fine with anger, but that was it. And she didn't really want to be pissy at him over this. She wanted to attempt rationality. Rationality, and like...normal talking tones and she could tell him what she thought and maybe it would be over.

Or, alternately, she could get pissed, say a bunch of shit all at once that she regretted later, had no idea how to apologize for, probably in the end would figure it was too much work anyways, and then everything would be Weird.

Which, actually, now that she was thinking about it, put things back to normal...

Casting a longing glance towards her house, she sighed, rejecting the idea of just going home again. No, she'd put this off for-fucking-ever. It was time to talk to him about The Chrissy Shit.

Thom was home, in the kitchen chopping up vegetables for dinner, having decided that he'd cook tonight, rather than grab a takeout. He saw the shadow pass the window and his first thought was Isaac, except it was smaller. He put the knife down and headed out, a little surprised to actually see Kaysen sitting on the porch. "Hi - you okay?" he asked, stepping out to her and sitting down.

She for some reason hadn't expected him to sit down. Why, she wasn't sure, maybe because that was kinda something you did with a friend or whatever, and she still had trouble sometimes thinking about Thom in that kind of capacity. Dumb, considering all they'd been through together but it didn't stop the kneejerk 'woah' in the back of her mind. "...No, you're like...pretendy dating my worst enemy because of some diseased idea that it'll make my life easier." she said. Communicating wasn't her forte, but she could be blunt as hell with the best of them. "Or, that's what it was before. Maybe you're like for real dating now or something but either way it's fucked up and I don't like it."

"You really think I'd for real date Chrissy Chapman?" Thom asked her, though he didn't really sound like he expected an answer. "And you don't have to like it, it takes her out of the loop, that's a good thing," he added, unrepentant. He was confident in the fact that what he was doing was the right thing to do. He was her protector - she didn't have to be happy about the things he did for her. If it made things better, then he was doing his job.

She looked at him for a long moment. "I don't know." she said honestly. "I didn't think so at first but this has been going on for a while." Too long. Way too long. And she'd been putting this off for fucking ever. "Well, I'd rather deal with whatever shit she has to dish out towards me than have you doing..." she made a vague gesture at him. "That. I don't like it. It's not cool and like, whatever, I mean I know you got dumped and shit by your girlfriend and that's probably fucked with your head because you don't like...do that kind of thing but still! I really really hate this and I think it's weird and fucked up that you're like..." she paused and mumbled the rest, unable to look at him while she said it. "doing it for me."

"If it makes you feel any better, you can look at it that I'm doing it for me. It's something I can do, make life a little easier round here," Thom told her. "People don't need shit from her - any people, not just you," he added, deciding to widen it out from his real motive and hoping he could sell her on that. Not that it really made any difference, at the end of the day, but he'd prefer it if she wasn't upset about what was going on. She didn't have to be happy, but he couldn't help but want to try and smooth things over if he was given a chance and if a lot of her problem came from the fact it was her-focused, then he could try and take that away.

She picked her feet up to the stair she was sitting on and propped her chin on her knees, frowning out at the back yard. Waaaaay easier than trying to look at him. This was harder than she thought it would be. Because she was definitely feeling things--she just didn't know how to put it into words. Not coherent, sense-making ones, anyhow. She tried anyways. "It doesn't make me feel any better, cuz you're with a huge stupid whore of a bitch who's sole pleasure in life is to fuck anything with a heartbeat and make everyone else around her miserable. And that's just fucked, and you shouldn't--it shouldn't be like that. I can deal and whatever other sad bastards have to put up with her shit they can deal too. Thom, at this point, I'd even consider making my self more of a pretty target for her if you're worried about the poor drooling fucking masses, I just hate this. Okay? It's stupid. And fucked up. And lame. And....other things that are bad." she continued, positive she wasn't making any sense. It was possibly because she was leaving out why she thought that, why it was bothering her as much as it was, which she wasn't sure she was physically capable of like, laying out there for him.

"No - you don't get to make yourself a target, so shut up with that. Look, she and I made a deal, it's simple. Anyway, for some fucked up reason she likes me - and she's actually trying to be nice to me." And apparently wants to 'learn' to be less of a bitch, Thom thought, but he didn't share that right now. Somehow he figured he'd get the whole 'and you don't seriously believe that, do you?' line.

"Yeah, and who died and made you the second fucking coming with all your mercy and shiningly good guidance?" Kaysen snapped. "It. Is. Fucked. Up. Okay? It totally is. It's like..." she made another flailing, vague hand gesture in his general direction. She also didn't necessarily want to use the word that came to mind, but couldn't come up with another. So she made an exasperated grr. "You know what I mean! It's stupid! And you like--I don't know, deserve better or some bullshit like that, and she's a dumb bitch who deserves whatever comes to her, and I can't even tell you how squicked out this entire thing makes me. For real, Thom, this has been bugging me to no end since it started, and I've tried ignoring, believe me, but I can't really, because I keep getting reminded about it at school all the fucking time and it's--fucked." She kept almost brushing up against the root reasons then not going there. But she wasn't used to trying to get herself across like this.

Thom gave her a bit of a look, but remained his usual calm self. "I said nothing about guidance, or mercy - or any of that shit. Just that she likes me and she's trying to be nice to me," he told her. And thought he didn't show it, he knew what she wasn't saying and the fact was that he agreed with her, but that part - that he wasn't showing, not to her. She never got to see the part of him that hated all of this. She needed to think he was just fine with this.

"Or, she's using you, and playing you, and she's just going to double back and pull shit anyways, and like hurt you and everything, which I told her what happens to her if she does that but that's hardly the fucking point, and whatever, do you know how bad you hurt my feelings over this bullshit?" she asked, that last bit not actually clearing itself with her brain first. Then she was just off on a tangent, the rest of what she hadn't been saying coming tumbling out. "And do you like this? Because you're seeming to or whatever, are you actually into her? It's fucking stupid and horrible and I can't stand it and you're better than that and anyways, it's like you're just whoring yourself out over this and I can't even tell you how mentally fucking scarring that is to me because hello!! That shouldn't happen ever ever ever, definitely not from you and my god what is the matter with you?!"

Thom looked at her as all of that came tumbling out and realised he had to deal with all of that. Which was going to be... interesting. But this was Kaysen. She never made anything easy. "Of course she's using me, I'm aware she might be playing me. I'm not that easy to play and if she does it, and if she pulls shit, I'll deal with it. And I can deal with it, Kaysen. Which I've already told her as well. And I'm okay with this-" Which was different to 'like', but he wasn't going to admit to the fact he vastly disliked having to do this. "-and if I can stand it, so can you. Look, the girl was making your life hell. She's not any more. That's a good thing." He paused, ignoring the 'whoring' comment, though it stung him right where he'd already been aware of exactly what he was doing. "But, no - I didn't realise I'd hurt your feelings," he said, after a moment. He'd never expected her to be happy about it, but the way she phrased that sounded like it was something different.

Kaysen was dead silent for a few long minutes as she stared pointedly out into the dark, posture closed off and the air around them warmer than it should have been until the breeze took it away. She didn't notice. "Well, Thom, here's one more little bit maybe you haven't thought of." she said. It was that little thing she didn't want to think about, that last little brush up against things she wasn't happy with, and it sank pretty deep down. "You say she might be playing you but you're hard to play? What if this whole fucking thing is the play? You know she likes hurting me it's like her passion in life. Well....what do you think this is doing? What do you think she's accomplishing here? Hi, genius. You're pretty fucking busy with this sick little play she's having you put on. Not exactly paying attention to what might be going on with me. And like....I know you didn't before but you started. And I don't want to be within a country fucking mile of you when you're with her. How long's it been since we even like...I dunno. Fucking...talked or whatever. Or texted even." She was muttering by the end of her statement, and looking down, picking at the frayed edge of her hoodie's front pocket.

Thom looked across at her. "Last time we did that you basically screamed at me. I was giving you some space. And it's not like we really hung out or anything beforehand. I didn't really think you'd miss it," he told her. Sure, he'd liked the fact they'd kind of got to a point where they were getting on better, but he'd figured that was just him, that it was a fair trade for giving her a better school life. She hadn't been his friend when he took her as his protected, he'd never expected to be her friend, he'd gone into this with the belief that they didn't need to be 'friends'. He just needed to keep her safe.

Kaysen stood up and walked down the steps. "...yeah well. Whatever. Look." she said, arms crossed over her chest, and she still didn't look back at him, eyes on the grass. "Most of my life there's been exactly two people in the world who I've been okay with. My brother and you. I was up to four. Now I'm back down to three. I don't like it. It's fucking with my world." she said, then started heading back home, knowing she was now into territory of saying way too much, and it was mushy shit and she didn't like it and she'd spent a lot of time cursing his name when she was twelve. Sure, she'd got over it, but he'd been so much cooler lately. Kinda...whatever. She was done. She was just really depressed about it.

Thom actually looked a little surprised to that. Really, the fact that she'd been okay with him did come as a surprise. He'd always generally assumed that she was of the opinion that if he dropped off the face of the planet it couldn't happen too soon. Or, at least, that's what she'd generally thought since, say, the day he and Isaac had found her diary. After all, he'd been kind of a dick to her over the years. At least until he found maturity and after that he just ignored her. Until she became his protected and this all began.

"I'd rather deal with anything that motherfucking whore can possibly do to me and more, than not have you around, you stupid son of a bitch." Kaysen said as her parting comment, before she headed back across the yard. Or, it almost was. "Tell your mom I said hi." she added, before the lights from his house faded and she dropped into the shadows. She was going to go for a walk. She needed to clear her head now, and dig up her brain, where she remembered not to put herself out there like that. All it ever did was get her hurt. This just proved it. Again.