Then I'll try
Who: Doc and Jocelyn
Where: the phone, the shoreline, the safehouse
When: afternoon
Other: turns NSFW
Aside from the fact that Doc was going to be eating cold Thai food for the next couple of days, he considered the meeting a success. All he'd wanted was to expose everyone to each other, to get the initial impressions out and see where there might be problems. If there were going to be any, they wouldn't reveal themselves so easily. He'd just have to hope he could see them all coming, and address them before they created rifts he couldn't handle. Which was part of his motivation today, sure, though mostly? He just wanted to see Jocelyn. Living a life of subtle involvement had worn down the old edges in Doc, it was part of why he'd let himself get so close to Eva.
Enough time without the truly grim moments made him miss what he denied all the more, and though he knew it was a rush on things, it felt good. On that level, he thought the twins might even approve; they'd both told him he deserved to have good things in his life, after all. So he'd hold onto that, believe that he deserved at least the chance. Raising the phone to his ear, Doc thumbed the number for Jocelyn's new cell he'd given her the night before, stubbing out his cigarette and sitting back on his bed patiently.
The phone was ringing from somewhere and Jocelyn had to scramble a little find it and eventually pulled it out of the jeans she'd had on the night before. When she finally answered, she was half hanging off the bed and a little breathless from digging around her room. "Hello?" She hoped it was Doc on the other end but didn't get a chance to check the number before answering.
Doc had to grin at the breathless answer he got, she sounded like she'd run to the phone, like a teenager waiting to hear from her prom date. "Hey," he greeted, the smile evident in his voice as he leaned to one side, resting on an elbow. Doc didn't expect Jocelyn to like his planned absence from town, not with the fervor they both had, but the window of opportunity was so small. It'd be years before he had a decent shot again, after all. "You busy today? I felt like catching some fresh air, maybe getting a coffee."
Jocelyn grinned at the sound of his voice. The evening before with Billy and his friends had been fun, but being the fifth wheel had left her missing Doc. "Hey you," she answered as she rolled on her back still half off the bed. "Nothing much going on here. Getting together sounds great." She did note that fresh air meant, public which was both exhilarating and depressing. Being in public meant possibly acting like a normal couple but being alone meant well...alone. "Want me to meet you somewhere?"
"I could pick you up," Doc offered easily, "I was thinking about a walk on Presque Isle maybe, but nothing's set in stone. Aside from seeing you, that is." It'd be quiet out there, but there were definitely factors that favored other, private locales. "Anything you felt like doing, maybe?" he offered, thinking that he didn't really even know what Jocelyn liked doing yet. That sort of thought was what kept his enthusiasm in check, which was a good thing some times, and other times? It made him feel so old. He wanted to be young enough to just plunge into this sort of connection headlong again, but Doc had buried that part of him a long time ago. "I'm at your service if there's anything," he stressed with a soft chuckle.
"Anything you say?" Jocelyn's voice was teasing, but her smile could be heard through it. "A walk does sound nice though. I'm easy to please if you're going to be there." Really Jocelyn didn't have much in the way of hobbies. Between work and her magic, there wasn't much time for a whole lot else besides reading. "I've missed you darling."
Doc laughed warmly at that, sitting up and hopping off his bed. "It's only been a day," he teased, moving to grab his coat and stomping into his shoes, "But I've missed you too." It was the truth, it was a blissful feeling to be swept up in when he let himself. If Doc wasn't careful, he'd let himself spend all day in bed with her, just smiling and whispering. Still, he had to hope that Jocelyn's longing wasn't too severe, or his time out of town wouldn't reflect well on her. "I'm not exactly sure where Babylon is right now, so... call me back once you know what street you're on? That way you'll have time to get ready and all." And he'd have time to grab a couple of coffees and try to steel himself against those gorgeous, infectious smiles she gave him.
She sat up, realizing that telling him she'd missed him had been rather forward. "I know it's only been a day, but I had dinner last night with friends, only it turned out to be me and two couples. Just made me think about you is all." Jocelyn got up from the bed, pulling on her jeans while she held the phone between her chin and shoulder. "That works for me. Let's just hope I can figure out where I am as well. I'll see you soon." She hung up and busied herself finding something to wear that was both warm and pretty. Which harder than one would imagine. Finally deciding on something although not entirely pleased with the low cut dark sweater. She tugged on boots, tucking her jeans into them and did her best with hair and minimum makeup. Coat on and purse in hand she headed down the stairs and out of Babylon. She found herself on, thankfully, a street she recognized. Pulling her phone out of her coat pocket she called Doc's number.
By the time she called him back, Doc was behind the wheel of the Superbee, swinging around a snowy corner with the stereo buzzing. He'd just been driving, letting himself careen past each spot where he'd encountered Babylon in the past and wondering how powerful Eris' wards were to let the club move so freely. It was a building, after all, and that was a feat of power Doc hadn't encountered since the days when the twins' mother was still alive. But the ring of his phone snapped him from consideration as Doc turned the stereo down, grinning again before he even answered it. "So... where'd you find yourself at?" he asked in greeting.
"Fourth Street." She was bouncing on her toes, half out of excitement and half to keep warm against the cold. "Outside of that I can't tell you, but that's a start right?" Jocelyn was beginning to think she'd never get the hang of this town. It didn't help that her room moved around.
"Fourth goes a ways, but if there's no branches or corners then that narrows the options," Doc said, mind ticking over hte lay of the land and how best to get to where she likely was, "Should only take me a minute and one illegal u-turn." He chuckled at that, gripping the suicide knob on his steering wheel and cranking it harshly at an intersection, whipping the car around to head back the way he'd come. "There, now there's just a minute to contend with," he said with a laugh, ignoring the blare of a car horn behind him. "I'll be up any second, keep an eye out."
Jocelyn laughed at the car horn in the background and scanned the streets for a car that could belong to Doc while she hung up her phone. She'd remembered what he said about his car being the only thing of worth Doc had, so when the fully restored car ambled down the road towards her she knew it was his. Waving from her spot on the sidewalk and she grinned when he pulled up next to her. "This is nice. Very nice."
Doc winked at Jocelyn as he stretched to pop her door from the inside, sitting back and waiting for her to hop in. He'd thought ahead, and there were already two steaming mugs in the cup holders for their walk around the island. Even if it was nicer today, the chill that the winter brought could seep in gradually. "It's a fun car," he agreed with a light smile, "Something about living low-key all the time? You tend to want one thing that's really distinguishing, even if it's still functional. This car's taken me coast to coast at least five times over the years."
She climbed into the car and close the door against the cold. "Practicality at it's fully restored and shiny best." Running her hand lightly along the dashboard she glanced up at him from under her eyelashes. "Why do i feel like I should be sliding over to sit next to you?" Her smile was coy and teasing. Jocelyn leaned towards him, not all the way but closing the distance between him enough to feel his warmth.
Because no one's ever gotten close like that in this car? Doc mused but couldn't say, though the spark in his eyes hinted at a reflection of Jocelyn's coyness fleetingly. "It's a natural compulsion in this ride," he said instead, leaning in towards her, "Everyone gravitates towards the driver's seat, really. It's a car everyone wants to drive once." His eyes flashed with humor for a moment before Doc closed the gap between them, pressing into Jocelyn for a soft kiss as his hand moved to brush against her cheek.
She leaned into his kiss, wanting to push the intensity of it, but knowing they were still parked on the side of the street. "I really think it has nothing to do with driving and everything to do with that kiss," she murmured against his lips. Resting her cheek against his hand she looked up at him again. "Should we be off?" They needed to start moving in a direction or she just might settle for spending the rest of the day here in the car, as close to him as she could get, not giving a second thought to who passed by.
"Probably," Doc agreed regretfully, sitting back slowly and settling into his seat. It was too addictive, a dizzying high that came just from being near her and pushed higher with every inch less of space they had between them. If he was smart, Doc would never get closer than ten feet. But he knew just how lonely it could be, being smart all the time. So he dropped the car back into gear, pulling back onto the road and aiming it at the shoreline. "So... you went to a dinner party?" Doc asked curiously, grinning at the road as he drove and wondering just what had happened there.
"Just out to dinner with friends," Jocelyn told him as she leaned back into the seat. "I met this guy Billy while I was out a few days ago. He invited me out with is fiancee, his best friend and his best friend's wife. It was fun, but like I said, fifth wheel at times." She left out the conversation that she and Maddie had had about weddings and the stray thoughts that had passed through her mind. "Did you do anything interesting yesterday?"
I was in Juarez watching a kidnapping. Watching a kidnapper kill someone for the first time. It was too grim to share, too grim for Doc to even want to dwell on it for long, so he just shrugged as he drove. "As close as I get to a routine, yesterday was it," he answered, mind ticking over who Billy and his friends might've been. Not out of jealousy, just curiosity. "Walked the dog, did my workout, did a little bit of work in the forge. I ran some sweeps for a friend, made sure our cellular lines are secure," Doc flashed a wink Jocelyn's way as he stopped at a stop sign before pressing on, "War or no, my life's a little dull some days."
There seemed to be something else there, something that just ticked across his face, but Jocelyn didn't press it. Still his day sounded far from routine, especially with the secure cell phone lines and such. Granted her idea of "routine" a few weeks ago wasn't a standard normal day either. "Routine is sometimes good. My routine has been thrown all out of wack. I was just laying around my room in my underwear reading. I don't think I've done that since I got here." She shifted in her seat so she could watch him easier. "Forge? Like fire pit blacksmith forge?"
"You should've called me, could've skipped the reading," Doc teased boldly as he brought the car along the shoreline of Lake Superior, smoothly crushing out a darker thought before it could even take shape. He wasn't going to sabotage his own chances, not this time. "And yeah, like a blacksmithing forge," he went on, extending one hand across the car to show off the callused pads and fingers, "Don't get hands like these from playing with kittens all day." Doc didn't think he needed to fear the internal doubts he had in every area of his life, not here. They were discovering each other's details without forcing it, which reinforced his hope for it all. "Next time you come by, I can show you how to swing a hammer," he promised, thumbing in the dashboard lighter and tucking a cigarette in his lips.
"Do i really strike you as the hammer swinging type?" she asked as she took his extended hand in hers, tracing the bones on the outside of it with her other hand. The callouses had never bothered her, she'd enjoy the contrast of his touch to her skin since the first night. It was interesting to know where he got them from though. There was something else though she wanted to know. "Could I have done that? Called and said 'hey, I'm bored, lonely and planning on spending the morning in bed, care to join me?' Would you come?" The question was soft, as if she didn't want to know the answer.
Doc was silent for a short stretch of the drive, and the first thing to shatter that silence wasn't him. It was the pop of the lighter in the dash as it reached temperature and sprung out. He raised it to his cigarette, cracking the window a bit and puffing slowly as he debated how to answer that. "I would when I was able to," he finally answered, swinging the car into a small parking lot that looked out on a patch of snowy beach. Even the seagulls were gone by now, leaving them and an odd, empty car in the lot as Doc looked out at the water, then to Jocelyn. "I'd want to, every time," Doc went on in a soft rumble, "But I wouldn't always be able to. What I am, who I am makes it difficult to accept the things and people in life who make me feel good. Better than good... but I also don't ever want you to think that sort of thing is why you're here."
She watched him in silence while answered but when he was done she turned away to watch the light hit the water. The silence stretched out between them while she thought over what he said. That he'd admitted to wanting to be with her for those simple moments, normal moments was enough and all she needed to hear. But the last statement, that was what had held her tongue. Taking a deep breath she answered without turning towards him. "Why am I here then? I watched them, the others. They can't figure out why I'm here either. They are warriors, even the twins. I'm weak. A spoiled princess in their eye's. My most recent training has been in seduction. If I'm not here for that then why the hell am I even here?" She'd been thinking about her place in all this for a while, since Doc asked her to join up even, but she'd failed to come up with a sufficient answer. "Where the hell is here anyway?" She knew her questions were ruining their perfect afternoon, their time together which was not to be wasted, but everything was tumbling out of her. She needed to know.
Ah, the uncertainty. How long had it been since Doc had seen it? Kurt hadn't doubted, the man was an assassin. Grayson, a former leader. The twins were raised by one of the finest hunters Doc had ever known, a gifted willworker to her core. Jocelyn, though... His research and connections had paid off, and details on a family as notable as the Laurents weren't too hard to come by. "You're here to protect, Jocelyn," he said eventually, watching an errant curl of smoke for a moment. "You're here because for all their training, for any weapons or gift of heritage, you worked to get here. Tell me, could Grayson get close enough to hurt you with those wards you wear? If the spirits turned hostile, would you have anything to fear?"
He turned in his seat, looking Jocelyn's way with a muted intensity showing in his eyes. "Being able to fight has never guaranteed victory, only violence. What you know how to do can save lives. The others can fight off an army, but maybe you could keep that army from ever getting close enough to fight." And he didn't expect that to allay her fears either, but Doc was trying. "I know it's daunting, I do. I was put on this road when I was a young man; I was a scientist who was asked to be a soldier, one who would never quit. And... I didn't know how to be that. The man who trained me just smiled and said 'you don't need to know how, just believe that you can'. And I learned over time, sometimes when I was alone and hurt and desperate, sometimes with the best friends I think anyone could ask for, that it's alright to be afraid of what you're asked to do. It's as normal as anything is to think you aren't up for the job. The only time you can genuinely be brave is when you're afraid like that."
Sitting forward, he ground out his cigarette and moved to squeeze Jocelyn's hand with his own. "What happened with us... it's an amazing thing, I'm scared I'm going to ruin it. But it's not why you're here, and it's not going to drive you away. Even if the day comes where I've burned my bridges, you have a place in this fold as long as you want it." As long as it exists. "And 'here' is at my side, waiting to see the sunset and wonder if it's the last one. You and the others, we're a crew now. I'll stand by each of you until I can't stand, period."
She'd listened to him, but it wasn't until he was done talking that she turned to meet his eyes. What he'd said was the truth. Her own wards were strong enough to keep most supernatural things away from her. It's true she'd feared Grayson but there wasn't much to fear directly. But all the wards in the world couldn't hold up against certain things. Jean had proved that all too quickly be getting shot. Which brought the image of the large gun that Kurt carried. There wasn't protection against that sort of firepower.
Worse still, what he was asking her to do, what her supposed role in all this was, it was something she felt the weakest at. For all her practice, all her talent, she'd lost her faith in being able to protect others when Jean died. And yet she knew he was right, she knew her place would be at his side, keeping his team intact, protecting rather than hurting. "If that's what you're asking of me, then I'll try. I'm just worried I won't be able to do enough." But she knew that if she failed to protect then the others would step up to fight. She just didn't like putting them in that situation. Squeezing his hand in hers she continued. "Eric, stop worrying about ruining it and just enjoy it. You said it, we have nothing more than a chance, but that's what everyone gets. You can't just decide from that to spend the rest of the time waiting for it to end. What if it never ends? You've wasted all that time not enjoying it while it was here." She leaned in closer, turning to look at the light. "I can't wonder if it will be the last sunset; I'm too eager for the next."
He smiled slowly as he considered her words, feeling Jocelyn's much smaller hand squeeze his tightly as she spoke. Of course she'd be worried, this life was seldom anything but worries. But if she could acknowledge it? "If you can try what I'm asking, I can try in kind," he said plainly, smiling for her, "Just... be patient with me. I'm a sour old man who's screwed up every shot so far. I get paranoid about this kind of thing. Giant sea monster? No sweat. Being human and admitting I care about you? Much trickier. But I'm trying... and I do." What if it never ends? It was simultaneously a wonderful thought and a scary one; how did one tell their lover they'd get to watch them grow old? How could he say that he'd always be fifty-two? For now, Doc was thinking he didn't need to. Maybe if we celebrate her thirtieth together, he mused, smoothing his fingers against Jocelyn's wrist.
Her head had turned back and skepticism rooted in poor self esteem floated in her eyes. I do. It was the simplest statement but rarely were the words uttered without significant meaning. They were words she was longing to hear, to know he felt the same way, but now upon hearing them it was hard for her to react immediately with the joy the knowledge brought. The surprise itself won out. "You do?" It wasn't the right thing to question it, to give him room to properly deny it, but she wasn't thinking straight.
He just nodded slightly, belatedly realizing he'd stopped at a fairly picturesque little beach. Doc didn't usually intend to frame these things so, circumstance and his love for a good view just seemed to betray him. "Walk with me?" he asked instead of explaining himself, grabbing his coffee from the cup holder and slipping out of his seat. Doc took a deep breath as he left the car, basking in the cold bite of the air. It calmed him on a more immediate level, leveling off his thoughts for the moment, but he was worried. This was something he'd never been able to reconcile, and even if Jocelyn understood his point, could she endure it over time?
Jocelyn didn't get a chance to answer before Doc got up, but she followed suit, taking her coffee and stepping out of car to meet him. The cold air pressed in around her, suffocating her, as if she couldn't get a full breath, but part of that could have just been that she was nervous about what he might say. She held the cup in both hands, savoring the warmth of it as she moved closer to him, waiting for him to take lead on their walk and trying desperately to not hate herself for asking for assurance in regards to his feelings.
He moved past the edge of the parking lot and down beyond the dead scrub brush, stepping through clumps of snow with a thoughtful gaze aimed out at the water. "I never stop caring," Doc said quietly, watching the lake, "I'm damn good with a poker face, but I never stop. In the past, the women I've loved and the people I've cared about, I've had to leave over and over. I used to think..." Doc trailed off, frowning in consternation and patting his coat down to find his cigarettes, looking back to Jocelyn as he lit up just for something to occupy his other hand. Fucking nerves.
"There's something inside of me, Jocelyn, something old, ageless. It needed me to fight, to never think the war could end. It showed me some hard truths about what I do now at a very early age, because the war can't end. It can change, but if it stops? So do we." Which was really a summation of what he did now as War itself, but it bore explaining that he'd lived with it his whole life. "Over the years, my crew kept fighting, changing. We remembered the fallen and we kept going, but there was always the feeling that they wondered when it could end. I was... close with a few of my partners over the years, and sometimes they would look at me in moments like you and I have, soft ones, and I could see them envisioning a world or a time where those moments didn't stop so work could start."
He had to look away, head twisting back out towards the water as Doc tucked his cigarette in his lips and pulled in a drag. Just talking about it made him ache inside with nostalgia, remembering the hurt and confusion in Lex's eyes or the quiet, pained tolerance Kayos always had somewhere in her eyes no matter how much she smiled when he'd visit. "I made the choice for them back then, and it was a mistake. I decided they couldn't stand up to that life, and I forced them out. It was easier for me to lose them because I chose to, and I'm not going to make that mistake again. I care about you," Doc finally said, looking back to Jocelyn, "But I need you to know that for me, this isn't ever going to end."
She'd followed his every step, taking in what he said. When he was done she stood next to him quiet for a few moments, half watching him, half watching the water. When the moments passed she reached forward to take the cigarette from his mouth bringing it to hers for a drag. The smoke burned through her throat and lungs, mostly because she wasn't used to it. Jocelyn wasn't a smoker by any means but while she was trucking around Europe she'd picked it up when she was stressed or out with friends. This moment would qualify as stressed. She took a few steps away from him, pacing almost, smoking the cigarette while she thought. Her mind was racing with what he'd told her. He did care about her, but it would never be normal for longer than a moment. There'd always be some war to fight, someone to save, some call that needed to be answered. Staying with him meant giving up the perfect life she'd dreamed of when she was little. It meant giving him up and letting him go when he needed to. It meant knowing she couldn't always follow. More than once she looked up at him as if to speak but then went back to pacing and smoking.
The cigarette was almost gone when Jocelyn finally stopped. She dropped the butt into her cooling coffee to put it out and turned to him. "So it doesn't end?" It wasn't really a question as much as a statement that was worded like a question. "We keep dealing, we exist in moments, in instances, and otherwise it's business." She wasn't really telling him anything or explaining things she was just stating what she'd gathered from what he said. "I can't stand here and tell you that I don't want that normalcy. I can't promise you that there won't come a day that I won't wish we could stand on this beach and bind our souls together. It probably won't be any time soon, because I'm still a little torn up about how completely wrong the last time went, but I hope you don't expect me to say any of that." Jocelyn turned away from him hiding her face behind her hair so he wouldn't see the tears brimming at the edges of her eyes.
"But that doesn't mean I'm giving up Eric. It doesn't mean we can't make the most of this, that we can't be something stable in all the chaos. That we can't be each other's grounding point." Jocelyn took a ragged breath and glanced back at him briefly. "I'm willing to try if you promise not to push me away. If you promise not to cut me off to protect me or keep me out of the fight if I want to stand next to you. If you promise to come back when you leave." Her eyes left his face and focused on the ground while she kicked her feet into the snow and scrub. "Don't make me regret falling for you." The statement was soft, barely audible.
It was his turn to listen, to consider each word with the flicker of a smile tugging at one corner of his mouth as Doc watched Jocelyn move away from him. She'd fallen hard, apparently, and Doc wondered briefly just how it still happened for him. He'd been told he inspired people, and after so long he knew it to be true in some regard, but he'd never understand how. "It doesn't end," Doc confirmed for her first, taking a few steps after Jocelyn, "But you and I, we exist in more than moments." She was asking a lot, but Doc? Well, Doc was the sort of man who kept his promises when he made them. "When the day comes where you feel like you need more, I'll listen. I'll try to understand," he said, reaching out to settle a hand at the small of Jocelyn's back, "And as much as I can, I promise. There's more reasons now than I've ever had to come back to this life, to keep every person who matters to me as close as they'll let me. Your choices are your choices, and while I hope you never regret them? If you do, I'll still be here for you to yell at." He turned her gently towards him, letting his smile grow and solidify. "And for the record, there's better beaches," Doc teased gently, "Most of them don't have a power plant behind them, for starters."
"Oh Eric," her voice was mixed with a sigh and Jocelyn let herself turn with his hand, pressing her forehead against his shoulder and breathing him in with slow deep breaths. When her heart had steadied she rolled her head to the side to look up at him and his perfect smile. "If the day comes and we decide that's what we both want, it can happen in the parking lot of the power plant for all I care." Her smile was both sincere and teasing, promising and mocking. "Although," she started, sliding an arm around his waist to settle under his shoulder better. "If love gets caught up in this mix we might just have to start balancing the effect we'll have on the world."
Doc knew there were future talks already hinted at there; she had an eye on the future, maybe dreams of marrying him. Thankfully, with what they'd already said? There was no pressure to plunge into it all today, both of them knew there'd be times of slow progress, difficult patches to deal with as they understood each other. He didn't need to shatter everything with the thought that he was already married to his work, to his children. Disappoint her some other day, old man, he mused somberly, a stark thought in comparison to the grin he wore. But the grin was genuine, no two ways about it. Doc had learned not to dread the future, to just deal with it when it became now. "So, since I promised," he said eventually, smile fading just a touch, "You believe I'll be back, right? Because I have some things to do that need me to leave town soon, and other things I need you to start on while I'm gone."
Sure the thoughts and possibly even the dreams were there, how could they not be there in such a blissful moment, but they weren't driving her. They were merely something she was willing to offer if he wanted it. Doc had expressed plainly that he was committed and expected the same exclusive relationship from her. Maybe one day, but not today. Or some day soon. When he wanted it, when he came to her with it. When he mentioned leaving though, she sighed loudly and looked up at him with the smallest of pouts. It wasn't to convince him not to go, but to remind him she'd be missing him the entire time. "It's probably for the best you give me a task, I'll need the distraction." Pushing up on her toes, she pressed her lips against his jaw line, savoring the roughness of his beard on the tip of her nose. "Where are you headed? And when exactly do you have to leave?"
"Out west, somewhere around Wyoming," he answered, chuckling at the little kiss and pressing his hand more securely against her back. Closeness was just too addictive, and Doc knew he'd miss it when he was alone again. Returning to solitude just seemed so unappealing, even if he knew it was necessary. "And tomorrow, actually. I'm working against the clock on this project, and if my info is right it's the only shot I'll have for a long while. Shouldn't take more than a few days, a week tops." If it did? It'd be for nothing, he'd miss his chance to tap into what he suspected was an old power not unlike the one here. "While I'm gone, I need you to start preparing things here. Wards for the others, extras we can distribute if needed. And heavier defenses at a second house I keep in town, just in case we need somewhere safe to go. And, of course, watching and listening for what's happening here."
Tomorrow sounded so early, but it left an opportunity for tonight. Jocelyn avoided bringing up the question though because she was certain if he was interested he'd let it be known. "Well I wish I could come, but I understand." Her week now looked like it would be spent buried in books trying to get refreshed on her white magic skills, which had obviously deteriorated in the past few years. But it would give her an excuse to visit Maddie's shop, which could be fun. "Do you need anything in particular for the team and the house or just a general barrage of protection? There are some decent curses in the black magic repertoire that could be useful as well," she told him her mind already running over options. "It gets iffy with Grayson being a werewolf, but I think I can work around that. And you, what about you? If you're willing, a forearm tattoo would look decidedly sexy on you." Jocelyn turned her face up towards his with coy smile playing along her lips.
He couldn't resist that smile any better now than he did the night he met her. Lifting Jocelyn up towards him again, Doc's kiss was slow and savoring as he held her in close, sighing regretfully as he let her go. "No wards for me," he murmured with a flash in his eye, "I deal with all sorts, can't be scaring them off with that sort of thing. And when you're setting up for the others, make sure to keep demonic wardings separated on their own." Even with all his understanding of how things were now and how words were just words, Doc never liked to admit this. "Otherwise I won't be able to get very close," he murmured, "It's a technicality, but it applies." Of course, as much as he disliked admitting that he was a demon in some sense? He wasn't thrilled about Jocelyn's offer of black magic either. It was useful, sure, but it was like a gun that guaranteed a backfire on the user. "Do some looking for curses that could be useful, but promise me you'll be careful, okay? I've seen the dark arts get the better of people in the past."
There was something about they way he kissed her, especially the slower kisses, that completely blocked out the world around her. When he pulled away and everything came back into focus she sighed regrettably as well. "Alright no wards for you, but don't put that forearm tat out of your mind." Jocelyn nuzzled in closer, but her mind was still moving quickly. Demon? "You might have mentioned the demon bit a little earlier love, as it's built into my tat as well. Lucky for you I didn't feel I needed my wards from the second I met you, but that would have made things awkward." So demons are separate wards, and easy on the werewolf things. When he warned her against the black magic though, she pulled back a little. "I'm always careful. As you said, I only use it to protect." And survive, but that wasn't as necessary as it used to be. "Any other requests?"
He laughed quietly, head shaking for a moment before Doc thought better of it and nodded instead. "If you get the chance, call up Grayson or Kurt and see if they want some company when they're watching the streets. The best way to figure out how we'll all work together is to actually work together," he said, smiling at the idea of either of the large men who worked for him and Jocelyn. It'd be interesting, but it'd also give a chance to find problems with compatibility before times got critical. "And the demon thing tends to scare people off, it's a bit of a sore spot. But at least I managed to mention it early," he argued playfully, "Better than running into a ward or grabbing something that's been blessed, right?"
"I'm sure I'll at least run into Grayson at Babylon, since he seems to work there. That wasn't embarrassing to find out at all." The undercurrent of sarcasm was matched with a small laugh. The idea of calling Kurt seemed borderline ridiculous though. She'd warmed up to Grayson as he'd seemed almost as lost as she was, but Kurt was...Kurt. He was huge and stoic and the ultimate warrior. Calling him to walk around town seemed about a ludicrous, even if it if was re-con work. "Talk about looking like I have a bodyguard. Maybe I should take Kurt around shopping, I can pretend I'm a celebrity." Jocelyn giggled at the mental image of Kurt loitering in a shoe store trying to eavesdrop on conversations and him holding a stack of packages. "As for you, I shall do my best to avoid wearing my blessed underwear in your presence."
"You have blessed underwear?" Doc asked, laughing and fixing an incredulous look at Jocelyn, "I'm going to assume you actually don't, for my sake. And don't take Kurt shopping, that's just mean. But call him, seriously. He could use the company lately." Not that Doc'd explain all of Kurt's recent loss in the moment, and maybe he'd do better just waiting until Jocelyn went to ward the safe house, since Kurt was planning to move in there to be more centralized for the others' sakes. "And once again for the record? You have nothing to be embarassed about as far as Babylon, okay?" he asserted confidently, "We all make our choices, you chose to stop doing that for a living. No one gets to leverage your past as a weapon, not in my world."
Kurt had struck Jocelyn as the type who enjoyed solitude but if Doc was saying he'd need company she'd call him. No guarantees he'd be willing to see her, but she would try. Twisting so she was completely in Doc's arms, she fixed a look on him. "I know you don't consider it leverage, darling, but you aren't everyone. Plus people like to talk and people like to make assumptions. I don't like the idea of your children knowing how I made a living. I'm sure that gives me nothing but gold stars in their eyes." She leaned closer, resting her head against his chest. "And I really only quit for you. If you didn't want me, I wouldn't have given it up."
That was odd information to consider, no two ways about it. Doc had to work hard to remind himself that his standards weren't everyone's; the weight he placed on being close and exposed wasn't nearly the same for the rest of the world. Just because he'd only stayed the night with a woman twice in the last twenty years, it didn't mean he could hold Jocelyn to the same rules. "You didn't have to quit," he pointed out in a low murmur aimed down into Jocelyn's hair as she leaned against him, "But I'm glad you did. I don't share well when it comes to that sort of thing." He didn't share at all, in truth, and her decision had really been the one that mattered. Doc's willingness may have been an incentive, but she was the one who made it count. "Give the twins some time, they didn't really like my last girlfriend either." You master of understatement, you.
"I'm glad I quit too," she told him. "I feel a lot more free. Which is good." Jocelyn took what he said about the twins to heart and tucked it away. She still was unsure about where she stood with them, but she had to hope for the best. So what if they didn't like the last girlfriend? she thought. That certainly didn't mean they were necessarily going to change their minds this time. Then she realized how he'd worded the statement. "Girlfriend?" she asked. "Am I getting a title? Making our sordid little affair official?" Jocelyn reached up and pulled Doc closer to her, covering his mouth with a passionate kiss.
He laughed into her lips, a warm and throaty sound that Doc was all too happy to share. So what if people had their misgivings about this? To him, it felt good. Both of them knew nothing was guaranteed, both of them were willing to try anyway. "You use some interesting descriptives," Doc eventually said, lingering in nearly close enough to be kissing Jocelyn again, "What's sordid about it? Does it qualify as an affair?" His eyes sparkled with good humor in that moment, unconcerned with what a single other person saw when they looked at this moment. "And not to be a buzzkill, but no, no titles yet. Beat the shit out of me and let's reconcile, then we'll be on the same level as the last lady I used that term with," he teased, squeezing Jocelyn lightly.
"Maybe I don't need that girlfriend title after all. Me attempting to beat the shit out of you sounds like a death wish." His proximity was far to tempting and she closed the final gap between them for another kiss. "And you'll have to forgive me," Jocelyn told him when she pulled away. "I don't think any aspect of my love life hasn't been sordid in years. It's habit to assume every thing is as much." It was hard to believe, but she was relieved. The last time she'd been someone's girlfriend she was in high school and the whole situation made her anxious. She had enough expectations from Doc to live up to and being a good girlfriend wasn't another thing she was eager to add to her plate.
"Nah, I don't hit girls," he confided in Jocelyn, smoothing a hand up her back and nodding for her to move with him back towards the car, "Not until they've hit me ten or twelve times first, that is." And really, hearing her explain things as she did, Doc could understand. Some part of her still had to be seeing things in the light of her time spent working at Babylon, and that'd make Jocelyn assume the worst on a lot of levels. "But all of that's irrelevant," he went on, taking a step back and leading her with him, "This is pretty amazing just how it is, right? No need to complicate it in any way. Let's just figure out where we're heading next." He'd promised her the chance to do whatever she felt like, after all.
Jocelyn turned with him, but stayed tucked under his arm as they moved to the car. "I think it's perfect just how it is." She walked with him to the car in silence, just enjoying the feel of him nearby, upset that he'd be leaving for a few days. Once they were by the car she broke the silence. "Where are we headed next?" she asked turning his question about their relationship into a question about their day.
Doc leaned back against the body of the car on the passenger side, drawing Jocelyn in with him and reaching for the handle of the door. "I was leaving that up to you," he confessed, brow lining in thought, "We could still take that walk around the island if you weren't getting too cold? Or we could swing by my safehouse so you know where it is. Not much there yet, I don't think. I just kept some bedrolls and ammo there, but Kurt's planning on setting up shop at some point." He was loathe to leave town, and even more loathe to think they might encounter someone else. As much as Doc wasn't the type to admit it? Being alone was plenty for him right now.
Her body moved with him, letting him pull her closer and lining her body up with his. "I'm willing to do just about anything." Jocelyn raised a hand to brush along his cheek. "But if we swing by the safe house, it gives us a moment of time alone before you leave." If they were going to try with this relationship they were going to have to steal this sort of time away from prying eyes. At least at first until that solid foundation was laid. For what it was worth, Jocelyn was still beyond smitten with Doc, but their conversation made her realize that she was going to have to keep her head in this just as much as her heart. Even if she didn't really want it.
"You have a point," he conceded, turning his face to kiss at Jocelyn's wrist for a lingering moment. He felt like he had to constantly double-check his own thought processes, to remind himself that when she wanted to be alone? He wasn't taking advantage of anything, he could let himself have this in his life. "Think I might even still have some old beers in the fridge, but I wouldn't try eating anything in there. You'll want Kurt and his gun with you when it comes to cleaning out that fridge." He popped her door open slightly, pressing in from Jocelyn's wrist to kiss at her neck for an eager moment. Doc stepped away from the car as he did so, turning her towards the open car with ease; she was so lithe, practically weightless. "Buckle up," he murmured in against her neck before releasing her and stepping back, moving for his side of the car.
His kisses never lasted long enough, so she was slightly disappointed when he moved her towards her door and pulled away. "So if Kurt decides to move in while you're gone I should remind him to go grocery shopping beforehand?" There was something completely intoxicating though about the way he just moved her around so easily. Her joking did what it could to cover the fact that her heart rate had kicked up a notch or three. She slid into the car and buckled up as he'd ordered, briefly wondering if she should be concerned that Doc might be a little reckless behind the wheel.
At any point in the decades he'd owned the car, that would have been a valid fear. He knew his car well, had it customized by his own two hands, and loved putting it to the test. But not today. Not lately, really. The car already caught peoples' eyes, and him driving like a maniac would lead suspicion to where he was driving. "If you do," he said as he dropped into the driver's seat and fired the engine up, "Tell him to try White's, down on Third Street. They'll have beers he can stand, nice little gourmet section of essentials too." Whatever he could do to promote both comfort for his people and unity between them, Doc was willing to try. "And you or he should check in with the twins, too. THey're generally fine, but I'm a fan of oversight," he added, pulling out of the parking lot and starting towards his safehouse.
"I'll let him know." Jocelyn didn't comment for a little while about checking in on the twins. If there was one thing she was certain about it was that the last thing they wanted was her checking in on them. "I'll let Kurt know to add your house to his rotation of the town." It wasn't said but it was obvious she'd decided that the task would fall to someone else.
She didn't need to say that she wasn't eager to see the twins, Doc could easily assume there was still tension there. Eventually it would need to be faced head on, even if just to determine that they'd never get along. But that had been the case with Eva, and Doc was hoping for better things here. "You're welcome there too, y'know," he assured her, flicking a wink Jocelyn's way, "Take Voltaire for a walk if you like, tell the kids I asked people to take turns popping in, see if they want to walk town with you maybe. Trust me, they're not all that scary once you get to know them."
Jocelyn sighed, understanding what Doc was trying to do. "I like them, I really do. I just don't think they care much for me." It was true, she did like them, but it wasn't hard to tell that they didn't quite see her place as part of the team. Jocelyn was sure she'd have to earn that place before they even dealt with her place as Doc's lover. "But you had to throw in that little ball of fluff didn't you? He's not at all what I imagined, but he's perfect."
He grinned widely, loving the praise of his herald and nodding at the assessment. "He's something special," he agreed, "He doesn't even blink when I take him on work with me, just... always excited to be somewhere new. And he's good for when I need to get kids clear of impending trouble." And it was a good momentary buffer from the more serious topic she'd touched on. "The kids don't know you yet, Jocelyn," he pointed out, "Of course they won't seem like they care for you yet. All they know is that you're a witch, you're not much older than them, and you slept with me. Which I'm sure weirds them out, so... work to make it less weird. Give them a chance."
"They don't have to care about me. It's not like I'm gunning to be a stepmom or something. I just want them to trust me. To respect me." She turned in her seat a little so she could see Doc better. Looking at his profile though she remembered what he'd said about how he'd try for her and it was much heavier stuff she'd asked for than being friendly with his kids. "But for you I'll try. I promise. I still think I'll have better luck taking Kurt shopping."
"Well, the effort's what matters," Doc asserted, giving her a pleased smile as he swung around a corner, moving closer to the safehouse with every moment. "And it's like I said at the meeting, I'm asking for trust faster than I know it forms. In place of it, there has to be willingness to let it form. So if you're willing, and they are? I have faith." It was what his life was built on, really. "And this is me up here," Doc said at last, rolling down the street for half a block before parking in fromt of a smallish, one story house that hadn't had any of the snowfall cleared from the driveway or front walk yet.
She nodded, conceding that she'd give the effort. When they stopped in front of the safe house Jocelyn turned her focus. The house itself looked almost abandoned and she wondered who Doc had in mind to keep that drive and walk shoveled. The snow was still piled high from all the snow so far this year and Jocelyn wasn't really looking forward to navigating it. "Let's hope you don't have squatters in there."
"Hey now, it's not that bad," Doc argued with a laugh, skirting the deeper snow and dragging his feet to make clear spots for Jocelyn to step in. Sure, the house he lived in now was far nicer, but it hadn't been a bad place to live when it had just been himself and Synnove. "We moved into the other house pretty quick after coming here, so I never really had time to do the whole handyman thing on the outside." He waited at the edge of the porch, offering a hand back her way for balance. "The inside's much better, though it's pretty empty. But there's heat and power, so it's not a total loss."
Jocelyn followed Doc up the walk, appreciating that he cleared a path for him so she wouldn't get soaked walking in. She took his offered hand, but didn't let go of it after getting up the stairs. Instead she laced her fingers between his and squeezed his hand. "Well that's all that matters then right?" Pulling him a little closer she pressed her lips against his cheek.
"Not all," Doc countered, his cheek bunching under the kiss as he grinned, "But it's a good start." Keeping her hand held, Doc fished out his keys and popped the lock on the front door, leading Jocelyn inside. It was dim within, though they'd maintained the place enough in the warmer months that there was no musty smell clinging in the place. The door led into a small living room area, a stack of four bedrolls stacked against one wall, with one already out on the floor. "And here we are," he presented, looking back. "Front and back door are the only access points that would need warding, the basement's fortified, kitchen's right through there," Doc explained with a nod beyond the room where they stood.
Not letting go of his hand Jocelyn took a few steps forward to really get a feel for the house. "We can just ward the doors, or we can make the whole damn place disappear. Granted that might be awkward for Kurt living here and all." After assessing the place for a minute more or so, weighing options for ways to set up wards and such, locations for different markings, she turned back towards him. "Are you ok with added art work to the walls? There's plenty of really effective symbology that works best if you just apply it directly. It can be covered over, but if it's done right it can look really lovely." Which Doc would know since he'd seen her tattoo. In case that didn't come to mind right away she closed most of the space left between them, unbuttoning her coat with her free hand.
Once upon a time, he couldn't have seen the trappings she was describing. This had been a home, he'd been more concerned with a stable environment. And he could handle most any threat that managed to find this place. But now, it was an invaluable suggestion. "I think it's a good idea," he agreed, letting his old fatigue jacket slide off his shoulders and dropping it in a heap, "If we need to cover it? I'll buy some pictures and we can hang them, it's about time I learned how to decorate. Though with my recent experience? That sort of art is best appreciated uncovered." He grinned at that bit, reaching up to slide her coat from her shoulders as Jocelyn undid the buttons.
She let go of his hand so her coat could slide the rest of the way off. Once it was off though she reached up to wrap her arms around his neck, twisting her fingers into his hair and pulling him closer. "If I paint on your walls I promise to make it look better than any sort of pictures you could hang to cover it." Which was true. She wasn't the most talented artist, but she'd been doodling magic symbols her whole life and was more than capable of creating what she wanted. Her mouth lingered next to his, close enough to feel the warmth off his skin but still not touching; Jocelyn would let Doc come that final inch.
"It's not about looking better," he murmured, suppressing a shiver from the soft rush of breath she let wash against his lips, "It's about hiding it in case the cops come knocking or something." His eyes flashed with a mix of quiet humor and heat as they stood there in close to each other, and Doc knew that as much as he'd controlled himself since that first night? He couldn't now. "Though I don't doubt you'd make it look amazing," Doc added, brushing his lips ever so slightly against Jocelyn's as his hand went to her back and under the edge of her shirt, fingers brushing the ink he knew laid underneath.
"I promise to make it cop friendly. But you should tell Kurt he's going to have to throttle back on the rager parties if he moves in, that's not a good way to stay below the radar in town." His humor was reflected in her eyes, as well as the heat. Just like before, the air around them seemed to smolder and Jocelyn's skin felt warm with every pass of his skin. The brush of a kiss was a tease but she held her ground. The first time she'd pursued him, this time she'd let him take the lead from the start.
He thought he had some idea of what was happening here, but Doc didn't mind. She'd confessed some uncertainty about them, and while they'd addressed it? Sometimes solid proof went farther than any words could. He wouldn't complain about needing to show his affection for her, not for one second. "If Kurt starts throwing parties? We'll have a whole mystery to sort out right there," he said quietly, guiding fingertips higher up Jocelyn's back and leaning back slightly. Doc pulled away from her lips with a flash of teeth in his smile, leaning down and in to press past her hair and kiss at the slope of her neck.
Jocelyn's laugh was light and airy. "I think Kurt could be a raver deep down beneath that stoic exterior." Doc's kiss on her neck caught her breath in her throat though and she tilted her head away to give him better access to her neck. Her hands were still twisted in his hair, but she used one to smooth across his forehead as the smallest of noises passed through her lips in reaction to his kisses.
He laughed at that observation, a puff of warmth against the wet patch of neck he'd been kissing as Doc trailed his head lower, teasing her collarbone with a fleeting scrape of teeth. He figured Kurt might be bewildered by electronica, not amazed, but that would require more details on the German man than Doc felt he could give. Plus? He was a little occupied. A roughshod hand slid back down Jocelyn's back, joining the other at the backs of her thighs as Doc pulled her snugly against him and lifted. Even without his demonic strength it would've been effortless, and with it? She was a cloud in his grasp as he pulled her up and bore her back into the nearest wall. "I think..." he purred against her skin, gradually looking back up and giving a fleeting kiss, "...I'm not interested in talking about Kurt any more." Or talking period, it seemed, because then he was kissing her with a smoldering intensity, coaxing her legs around his waist as he held her there.
There was no way to avoid the groan the escaped from her when he nibbled at her collarbone. And the same jump in heart rate she felt earlier when he moved her outside the car spiked when he lifted her and pressed her against the wall with almost no effort. Once his lips pressed against her with the passionate kiss, he didn't need to coax her legs around his waist, she was already tightening her grip on him and pulling him as close to her as she could muster. Jocelyn kissed him back, matching his intensity with her own, letting the air around them spark from it.
Pressing her securely against the wall, Doc's hands left Jocelyn long enough to yank his t-shirt free from the grip between her legs and his body, peeling it up as far as he could before he broke the kiss with a gasp. He kept one hand wound in the shirt's material, the other grasping her jaw as Doc pressed back in with a moan, grinding up into her as he kissed her. He groaned as he pulled back, peeling his shirt over his head and slinging it aside. He wanted to feel her on his skin, to taste Jocelyn's in kind as he had on that first night.
The space between them ceased to exist and Jocelyn moaned through his kiss when he pressed into her. She'd helped him pull his shirt off, mostly because her hands were already around his neck, and she was desperate to resume the kisses he'd broken off to get the shirt over his head. Once it was clear she pulled his mouth back to hers with a hand on either side of his head. Kissing him like it was the end of the world, she released her grasp and moved her hands to glide down his shoulders enjoying the feel of power beneath his skin, of taut muscles and unspeakable strength.
He was drawing breath from her lungs, near-silent gasps of air he let slip between them as Doc ran his hand from Jocelyn's jaw down her neck, pulling her towards him. There wasn't an inch of room to really do so, but he was compelled in that moment before his hand slid lower, describing the curve of her breast by touch. His tongue teased hers as he slid the hem of Jocelyn's shirt up a bit, feeling the edge of her waist as he pushed against her. This? Complicated things immeasurably for them in the capacity of work, but Doc couldn't help himself. It was a rejuvenation for the older man, as addictive for him as any drink or battle had ever been.
As he moved his hand along her skin, her initial reaction was to arch her back against the wall, giving him space between them for him to touch her, but his lips held her anchored to his mouth. She nibbled on his lower lip with bites that were a little rough but her control was breaking and she doubted he would mind. Perhaps it would make things more complicated, maybe it would just make them easier. None of that really mattered in this moment. What mattered was the way his hands felt on her skin, the way he pressed against her so every inch of was lined up perfectly with him, the lightheadedness she was starting to feel from not bothering to pull away from his kisses to catch her breath. They were here together and even if he promised to come back their moments would be fleeting, why not savor every second? Jocelyn did her best to untangle her arms from him and reached for the hem of her own shirt, attempting to pull if off.
Setting his grip on Jocelyn again, Doc broke from her lips with a gasping laugh, holding her close as he stepped away from the wall, giving her the briefest of chances to shed her top. He staggered backwards towards the bedroll on the ground, curling his legs under him to settle on the cushioning with an ease of balance that hinted at martial training. The moment he was settled he was leaning in, seeking out the skin she exposed in the absence of her shirt with an eager little growl, the hands at her waist rocking her in his lap.
With the granted space she managed to untangle herself from the sweater, trusting Doc to not drop her as he moved her away from the wall and settled on the bedroll. Especially in the moments where she wasn't holding on to him. There was an instant to marvel in his strength and poise, but then his mouth was at her chest and she lost functioning thought. Her head leaned back and her body arched towards him as he leaned in close. His breath was warm on her skin and his beard rough where his lips were soft. Jocelyn was torn between letting him continue to entice her skin and pushing him away to she could do the same thing to him.
The curves of her body were sleek and supple, the sorts Doc imagined sculptors of olden days might want to immortalize, and briefly he had to thank providence for whatever it was about him that had compelled Jocelyn so. He craned his head into the small space between them, laying wordless adulation on her as he worked open the catch of Jocelyn's pants. If he didn't already know there was more to do with this day? Doc felt like he could spend hours, or even days in seclusion with her. It was an old dilemma, being truly torn between what he wanted and what he knew needed doing.
With Doc's attention being on her jeans, Jocelyn took a small moment to catch her breath, running her hands through his hair, enjoying the feel of his hands on her waist. Maybe she was making all the wrong choices when it came to this man, but it didn't matter. He wanted to be here just as much as she did and she'd have the entire time he was gone to debate over how he felt, how she felt. Right now she felt at peace, well minus the burning desire coursing through her veins. Once he had her jeans undone she managed to slid from his grasp and off his lap, reaching down to pull off her boots and taking in the site of him, scarred, tattooed and perfect.
Desire or no, Doc always felt self-conscious under that sort of scrutiny. He knew she didn't mind the scars, even found them attractive on some level, but being uncovered made him all too aware of the canvas of his own skin. He grinned unabashedly at Jocelyn, bending each leg inward in turn to tug off his shoes and socks as he returned her observation. Ink aside, she was a flawless creature to behold; smooth and unmarred by the darker side of life, and her tattoo only added to the appeal of her symmetry. Stretching his tattooed feet back out and tossing his shoes aside, Doc reclined slowly to rest one elbow on the bedroll, offering his other hand out for her to rejoin him.
As always, Jocelyn marveled at the way Doc watched her. Yes, she was much younger, but in his time he'd met many women, how could he find her as appealing as he seemed to? Her cheeks flushed lightly as she looked away briefly, ducking her face behind her hair. After a moment she took his hand and laid beside him with her head propped on one elbow to watch him closely. "Why me?" she asked as she reached out to stroke his cheek.
Leaning into her touch for a moment, Doc took the chance to savor the feel of fingertips on his beard before dipping his head in to kiss at Jocelyn's bare shoulder. He let his head rest there, drinking in the smell of her skin before looking to her once more. "The last woman I was involved with was... she was a good friend," he murmured, wanting to explain this without letting it hit awkward points from him dwelling on Eva. "But when I met her, I lived a lie for a long time. I wanted to think I could separate what I am, I hid my powers, my job, even what I was thinking because I thought I wanted something... not normal, not mundane, but something like the rest of the world had." He reached out to settle a hand on her hip, content to just lay there even if both of them were half-clothed. "But it never felt right, I never let myself get close. And you? I don't have to hide any of it. Even if it scares you, it doesn't scare you enough to make you run. You're the first woman to see me in a long time, and I like the look in your eyes when you do. You've been a part of this world your whole life, and you turned out remarkably. Not in spite of it, not because of it... you just did."
Jocelyn slid closer to Doc letting his hand slide around her waist. "I'm not entirely sure I'd say I turned out remarkably but I understand what you're saying." Pressing a light kiss against his forehead she leaned back to look at him. "And I'm not scared of you really. I fear what I can imagine you're capable of, but I don't fear my own safety. I can't believe you'd hurt me." She was just as content as he was to just lay here, talking, taking in him emotionally as much as taking him in physically. "I'm know enough about this world to know when its worth fearing something," she told him as she reached forward to kiss him, long and slow. "And when it's not."
He almost wanted to contest that, to say that the very possible end of everything was worth fearing, that she might not see it coming, but that'd counter what he'd just said. He had to keep what he talked about with Eris in mind and try not to act like everyone needed his perspective for their worlds to make sense. And that slow, deep kiss went a long way towards quelling the urge to speak up. Doc knew a lot, but he didn't know everything. Maybe I just know enough to realize that I don't know shit, he mused with a smile, lazily walking his fingers up from Jocelyn's hip and along her side with a smile. "I'd never want to hurt you," he agreed, "But then, lately? Ironic for War to say, but I don't really want to hurt anyone." It was a long way from the life he'd lived, from what his task entailed, even from the purpose of his planned trip out west. "So... even when there's something worth fearing? I'm here. We're all here together."
A shiver tickled up her spine as Doc moved his fingers along her skin. "Maybe you really don't have to for a while. I don't know enough about your job, but at the moment...There's no one to hurt." Taking his chin in her hand she pulled his mouth to hers and kissed him again, reaching around after starting the kiss to pull him closer. "I'm in favor of just making someone feel good rather than hurting," she whispered against his lips when she broke off the kiss.
He didn't need to explain that she was right, the certainty of that knowledge did plenty for Doc all on its' own. Maybe his prohibition was still in place, maybe not. Either way, he had no fights to pick up directly, he had Jocelyn and the others to test in such circumstances when they came up, and as Star had pointed out once? It leveled him off, it left Doc feeling centered, balanced. He even figured that relative peace of mind was a large part of his confidence in even pursuing something like this with her, and that was a wonderful though. "You're pretty good at that," he praised in a soft voice when she broke away, "And I'm learning as I go."
She bit her tongue against telling him that making others feel good had become a way of life for her, because that wasn't what he needed to hear. There wasn't a need to point out the number of lovers she'd kept before him or the fact that she'd been with someone else just the night before meeting Doc. "You do just fine, darling. Better than fine." Jocelyn pressed in close, kissing his shoulder as he'd kissed hers. "I'm actually quite fond of your skills in the department."
Thoughts about her past profession definitely weren't what Doc needed to hear. There'd been a moment or two since that first night where he'd mused on it, and on some level it bothered him. But he was trying his damndest to be true to his own words, and if she was done? She was done. She'd slept with who-knew-how-many people, and he'd killed more in all likelihood. Neither of them was clean, on the moral scale. "I must be a natural," Doc murmured teasingly, smoothing his hand up Jocelyn's back and twisting a strand of her hair around his fingers idly. "Of course, a good coach goes a long way too," he went on, tipping her chin up to lock Jocelyn in a kiss and draw her onto him as he reclined onto his back slowly.
Grinning, Jocelyn settled on top of Doc's chest comfortably, savoring his kiss. "Well you've come to the right person. Consider me you're own personal feel good life coach." Leaning back she kissed his chin, neck and then dropped lower to kiss along the tattoos of his chest. "I know it's saying a lot, and you probably don't trust where my intentions lie, but I am so glad whatever it was that brought you to me, brought you to me." Jocelyn looked back up at him. "And not just because I completely adore you."
"Is it because there's a point to every day?" Doc asked thoughtfully, craning his head up to look down at Jocelyn, "Even if you don't know quite what the point is yet?" That had been his own satisfaction with things when he'd taken his job. The hunting wasn't as directionless, his actions in this town could have some structure, some cohesion. And he knew that the work had satisfied Kurt on some faintly similar level as well. "Whatever it is," he continued, "I trust that there's a mixture of intent. I want there to be a fair share caring about the job, but I won't complain if there's some set aside just for me."
Jocelyn tilted her head to the side and thought about what Doc had said. "I guess it's something like that. I was thinking more like a reason to do something, but I suppose that's similar." She leaned forward again, closer to his mouth again. "There is always some extra caring set aside for you. No matter where we go or whatever you get us into, it's there. Does that work for you ?" Closing the rest of the distance between them and kissing him lovingly.
He couldn't help thinking that it could change, that the caring might go away, but that was Doc. He doubted himself, and knew what he'd done to people in the past. But knowing it helped him be determined to avoid it this time, making it easy to return the kiss and nod slightly. "That works perfectly for me," he murmured, "Gonna do my damndest to keep from even testing it, too." After all, they'd have enough hurdles to clear without him adding more. And in this kind of moment, he didn't even want to consider the ones that already existed; Eris, the twins, the age gap, their shared jobs. No, he just wanted to be in this moment.
"Good," she told him. He was right, it wasn't like they didn't have enough to contend with, why let that creep into the quiet moments like these. Jocelyn pressed another kiss against him, harder, grinding her hips into his. Dropping her kiss lower, she moved her lips down his neck and across his collarbone.
As much as Doc seemed to love the sound of his own voice, he was always okay with being at a loss for words. Which he definitely was. All he could manage was an appreciative groan as she pressed down into him, reaching to settle his hand in the small of Jocelyn's back, keeping their bodies pressed together even as she trailed lower and his legs knotted tight. He could study the lithe play of her body against his all day if it weren't for the reactions she was getting from him, and Doc was honestly somewhat helpless as he ran his free hand through her hair, pressing up into Jocelyn in kind.
A smile played against her lips when he pressed himself back against her and she savored the feeling of his hand at the small of her back. There was little in the world she felt like she was good at but this; this she knew she was good at. Life could do what it wanted, history and the past could knock down the door but she could make him forget even if just for a moment. Jocelyn continued to slide down Doc, tracing lines across his skin with her fingers and following in the lines of his tattoos with her mouth. As much as each moment was for him, it was for her as well. Something about Doc sent Jocelyn into a tailspin and every kiss made her head spin like being on an amusement ride. She pushed past it, doing her best to hide it, but not sure if she was even remotely close to successful.
From where she was on his torso and constantly creeping lower, Doc couldn't have caught much about Jocelyn's thoughts. Her mood, sure, and as far as he knew she was every bit as enthused by this as he was, but her thoughts? Not happening. Still, she was successful in one of her goals; Doc had forgotten plenty of his concerns with this to focus on and be swept up in. His fingers slid through her hair and down her neck, teasing at Jocelyn's tattooed shoulder with a low, throaty laugh of enjoyment as he snaked the others from her back to tease the skin just beyond the waistline of her jeans.
It was hard to not just give in to his teasing hands and let herself be pulled away from the task at hand, especially with the one hand dipping lower on her back but she pushed on. Once her kisses breathed across his stomach, Jocelyn lifted herself up enough to reach below her, undoing his jeans as he'd undone hers. Pulling away from him and resting her knees in the space between his legs she tugged at his clothes, pulling them down low enough to expose all of his hips. Tossing him a quick smile, she leaned in to run her tongue along his hip bone.
Just when he'd started to feel like he was comfortable in the situation with Jocelyn and him as a whole? His anxiety reared its' head once more. It wasn't that Doc didn't enjoy her touch, far from it, he was just hyper-aware of it, unsused to being in a spot where he had no control. And this was one of the rare times when he wished he'd gotten less tattoos as well, not that he'd voice any of those doubts. He just bit his own lip lightly, giving up the parts of Jocelyn he couldn't reach mournfully and shivering under her ministrations. Even if it didn't quite line up, he knew he needed to get used to not always being in control of the situation. Hell, in times like these? Doc needed to learn that you could enjoy not being in control.
She teased along the edge of the waistband of his jeans and boxers, but didn't push the limits. Something about him, maybe the way he tensed or just the way he breathed led her to believe more might just be too much. Jocelyn was rather adept at reading people after all; she didn't get in Eris' good graces without some skill. Pressing a final kiss against his stomach, she rocked back again on her heels. There wasn't a need to rush or to push things, so she waited and watched him from where she was with her hands tucked into the edge of his jeans, waiting for a cue to move on with a soft smile on her lips.
That smile was dangerous, Doc had seen it before. That was the sort of look that got men like him to do dangerous things. He didn't think Jocelyn was the sort to twist him so, though, so he was easy with releasing his lip from his teeth and returning it. "Don't let me stop you," he murmured, stretching an arm out and brushing fingertips against her cheek, "Unless you'd rather come up here and do things we both enjoy..." Because in his mind, the little gasps and cries of pleasure she gave were sounds he could hear every hour and never get tired of.
Now it was Jocelyn's turn to tuck her lower lip between her teeth as she continued to watch him. Slowly, the bit lip turned into her character coy smile. Pulling hard she yanked the rest of his clothes off. Once he was free, Jocelyn scrambled back up on top of him, still in her jeans. Her hands rested on his chest, holding herself over him, looking down through her hair. "What did you have in mind?" Her voice was almost as coy as the smile.
He gave a startled laugh as she peeled the jeans away, marveling up at Jocelyn. Doc knew exactly how long it had been since a woman had done something like that, though he wasn't going to linger on past lovers. It was just far too amusing and invigorating. "Well, not that," he chuckled at her, "Which was a flaw with my plan, I'll admit. Of course, a plan like this? It's all about... symmetry." Those words cued his hands traveling down Jocelyn's sides, hooking on the waist of her undone jeans and delving beneath to feel against her hips slowly. Doc chuckled throatily as he leaned up to bite softly at Jocelyn's collarbone, hooking her jeans on his wrists and slipping them back and down. He had an engineering degree, he could figure out how to do this.
"So true," Jocelyn agreed with him, lifting her legs and hips just enough to help him undress her. Sure she was a college drop out, but experience makes up for everything. Shifting so she was free of her pants she settled back on top of him, pressing forward on her hands to kiss him intensely. "Now what?" she whispered.
"Now?" Doc whispered back, teasing her with the hand that lingered on her leg fleetingly, "Well... I've been told I can withstand torture like few people, how about you?" His smile was devilish as he arched up into Jocelyn with a little groan, not letting himself do what he wanted any more than a slight grind as Doc repressed a shiver. "Of course, there's all kinds of torture," he admitted with a shiver, reaching through her hair to cup her cheek in his palm.
When he pressed himself against her she moaned in return. Jocelyn leaned into his hand, using it to steady her and keep herself under the level of control he was showing on his end. "I wouldn't know," she answered with a breathy voice. Raising her hand between them she danced sparks across her fingers finally letting a small flame burn in her palm for a moment. "Typically I'm the one doing the torturing."
He'd never been one for masochism, and wasn't about to become one either, but the little fire-conjuration was a thrill in its' own right for a moment. She had an ease to her abilities, and even if Doc didn't like black magic? Her proficiency with it would come in handy some day, he knew. "Well, technically you're the one in the power position here," he murmured, moving his hand from Jocelyn's cheek. He curled it around her own once the fires were gone, bringing it down to the center of his chest to feel the residual warmth on his skin. "Grab the reins," Doc challenged, "I won't get burned. But I might keep mixing my metaphors..."
Her grin said she accepted his challenge and she let the heat rise beneath her palms against his chest. Not enough to hurt, but warm enough for him to notice. Rocking back she rocked her hips into his, dragging her fingers along his chest as she leaned back and lifted off him. Hovering just over his body, resting on her toes, she waited. Between the warmth of her conjured fire and the heat of their desire the air around them was thick. "I don't know if I know enough about what you like to really torture you, but I can try." Her fingers dropped lower, farther gently massaging as she went.
"Oh I'm sure you can do more than try," he sighed, skin buzzing with warmth as her hands traversed his body, "You're a sharp one." The separation of their bodies was agonizing all by itself, but the little back and forth they had? It promised that it would be worth it. He reached out as Jocelyn leaned back, letting his own hands roam gently in kind as her wandering touch made his muscles bunch and sing deliciously. "And if you want to know more? Study," Doc added with a crooked grin.
Despite the warmth beneath her hands and the heat of his touch on her skin she shivered. Jocelyn's eyes closed as she let out a contented sigh. The smile curled up around the corners of her lips. "Call me cliche but you very well might be my new favorite subject."
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