turnarounds

who: caleb and nic
where: his house
when: late
nsfw

After all the work she'd done on her car, Nic knew she wanted to get a chance to drive it. She'd taken it home from Ash's shop that day, parking on the street near her house until night time when her mom headed into work, then slipped out and hit the road. Caleb was going to need it, given that his new place was likely on an unfamiliar route to school for him, and besides which? She was pleased with herself for the work she'd done and wanted to show it off a little. The steering wheel no longer groaned in protest as she swung around a corner onto the street Caleb had given as his new address, rolling into the driveway outside and looking at the new house before cutting off the engine.

"This kid's brothers need to stop stealing his allowance," she murmured to herself, scoping the place out and hopping from the car, then moving up the front walk. Nic knew better than to say as much in front of Caleb, so she gave herself the one little comment before reaching the door and thumbing the doorbell in.

Caleb was still getting used to the place. Like it had a doorbell, which he didn't think the other place did. It had had a buzzer, but that hadn't meant it worked. But apparently? This one did, as there was a chime sound in the house. Whaaatever. He headed for the door and opened it up, smiling when he saw Nic. "Hey." he greeted. "I see you found the place." The weird place that still felt like someone else's house.

"Yeah," she answered, leaning against the doorframe and dangling his keys from one crooked finger, "I live here, remember? Streets that throw you for a loop, city boy, are depressingly familiar to me." She glanced past Caleb fleetingly to peer inside the furnished house, blinking a little. It was... it was furnished! And well, too. "So did Martha Stewart hold you hostage while she decorated?" Nic asked with a wicked smirk for Caleb, feigning sudden concern as she leaned in and whispered "Is she still here? Does she have a sequined gun trained on you right now?"

"Something like that..." Caleb said, making a face. He also reached out to snag her wrist and tug her inside. "But no, she and her sparkly firearms cut out yesterday. I think Math just hired some chick to buy shit and put it in here, and she decided to add a woman's touch or some shit. It's...really weird." he told her truthfully.

Nic stumbled slightly as she was pulled in, smirking at Caleb and squirming free. "Should've called me," she chided, shutting his front door with a heel and leaning back into it, "I would've scared her right off for you. Except... your brother hired her? So that'd be shitty of me." Moving a step away from the door, Nic glanced sideways to get another glimpse into the house. "Looks nice, at least? But yeah... weird," she agreed sympathetically.

"It's nice, I suppose. Math's kind of got the upstairs claimed, and I've got the basement, which makes it tolerable." Caleb told her. He more or less got the whole basement, which wasn't bad. He had a bed down there, and suchlike. And, he'd gotten a few more art supplies so he wasn't entirely out anymore, and stealing from the school. He still felt a little on the depressed side when he thouht about all the artwork he'd lost, and it was killing inspiration to make more, but he figured it'd come back eventually.

"Nice. All 'People Under the Stairs' style, minus the incest," Nic complimented, winking at him and curbing dual feelings of jealously and wickedness. Her room was small, and a whole basement would be awesome, but somehow she knew that asking to see it might get her in trouble. Good trouble. "Kinda unfair of you though, going Mole Man on me. How the fuck am I supposed to climb in your window for drooling pictures now?"

"And tongue-mutilation." Caleb said. "Annnd find where the windows are, and drop in that way?" he suggested. "Or get really fucking good at the ninja stealth skills and sneak in through the front door. Though I'm living with Math, something tells me he won't give a damn whenever you're around. I don't exactly have a mom with a rifle waiting in the livingroom for discouragement on visitors."

Really, there were no safe jokes to make there. Her own mother's involvement in keeping them seperate was a point, and Nic knew that Caleb's mother wasn't a fun topic either. "Guess I'll have to start learning to sneak, then," she agreed, "Maybe try bellycrawling into the basement... put some pillows under the windows, I already used all my good bruising excuses for the rest of the year." Even though she'd only been here a few minutes, Nic could see why the place made Caleb uncomfortable. It looked nice, sure, but it didn't feel like somewhere he would live. "So... anything you might like for housewarming presents? Something to wear down the magazine cover feel you've got going in here?"

Shrugging, Caleb didn't really know. He didn't think much would actually make the place feel less like it was fake. It just felt that way, and it was probably going to, end of story. Not much to be done about it. "Got anything in mind?" he asked, sort of half walking through the living room, but not really stopping to sit down. He tended to not spend time in there. It had a television and dvd player and all that shit, but yeah. Just kind of weird for him all around.

He may have kept moving, but Nic flopped down onto the sofa in passing, scowling at the feel of it. It was too stiff and firm, it obviously needed breaking in. Still, she kept her feet off of it for the moment. "Well? The basement's yours, right? So make it feel like yours. Let's paint that bitch up," she suggested, tucking an elbow under her to sit up and watch him. "I've been itching to spray, you don't want me out after dark, and it's getting cold enough to freeze my hand to the spraycan, so... why not?" It'd be fun for her, and Nic was curious to see how Caleb might do with the medium, not to mention what he'd portray.

He watched her flop over and considered her idea. "...okay." he decided. He was also considering what kind of trouble they might get into while down in the basement with a few too many paint fumes in the air, but decided that either way, he was happy to roll with it. "Might keep you out of trouble." he added with a smirk. At least monsters in the dark trouble.

"Me?" Nic balked, sitting up on the sofa and flipping Caleb off. "I'm not the one with cheerleaders bugging him and ghosts trying to roast him, jerkoff," she countered, "I'm the one with a job and ass-kicking classes, remember? I keep you out of trouble." Granted, Caleb had helped her knock off the drinking and the reckless skateboarding, but she couldn't really give him the point so easily. "Anyway, I've got my markers if you felt like drawing some outlines tonight," she offered, digging a hand into the front pocket of her sweatshirt.

Caleb was certainly fast to point out the fact, even if Nic wasn't. "...who was bleeding from a head wound when someone decided to try stupid skateboarding tricks while drunk at home even if tv always says not to?" he asked. "But sure. If you want to, we could do that." He didn't usually sketch things out so much in a plan-type way as he just went with whatever he was feeling at the time, but he wasn't going to pass up the excuse to do something like that with her either.

She slipped off his couch languidly, offering out a pair of markers with differing thicknesses to Caleb. "Technically we were both bleeding from the head? More technically, mine was the face," she had to add, touching her cheek and grinning at the memory. It had been remarkably stupid of her, but that bad decision had started the night that revealed the true nature of the world to Nic. "You know what's weird, though?" she asked somewhat randomly, "I don't even miss getting tanked like... a little. But yeah, I figure we can sorta draw whatever, then I'll bring by my paints and some masks." The last bit was an afterthought, something to buffer unspoken thanks for how much he'd done.

"Really?" he asked, picking the thinner point marker as he started to lead her towards the stairs to the basement. He'd not thought about it, really, but then he'd never been one much for substances. Every now and then, whatever, but generally speaking, Caleb was a guy who lived his life aware that really, at any point? Things could go from zero to hell in .2 seconds. And one really needed not to be falling over off their game when that happened. It was, of course, fantastic amounts of paranoia, but...well. Whatever. Opening up the door near the kitchen, he flipped the light on and started down the steps, the temperature dropping a few degrees. Sure, the basement was heated, but it was always going to be at least a little colder down there. Just not uncomfortably so.

"Yeah, I dunno," Nic went on, shuffling down after Caleb with a smile at the slight temperature change. She was curious about his new room, still sad for him having lost everything and wondering if down here would feel as fake as upstairs. The kid already never seemed to sleep, after all. "It's like, back in Green Bay? That was what we did, you know? Get a few bottles, throw on some Descendents and get all sloppy. Up here, it's mostly been drinking by myself? And it's cooler kicking it with you or someone else while I'm sober than it is drinking on my own." Not to mention that she understood the barest edges of Caleb's paranoia now; with how abruptly trouble had struck before, Nic wouldn't assume it wouldn't happen again. So she needed to be ready if it did.

"Drinking alone I've never considered to be a good plan." Caleb said. The basement was largely untouched by the magazine-insert feel of things from upstairs. There weren't really 'dingy teenager's basement bedroom' sets available. So what it was was he had a new bed, which was a double as opposed to the single he'd had before, and there were some shelves, a dresser, a stereo...basics, but nothing too fancy. There wasn't anything really that overwhelmingly decorative going on either. "But...good to hear, anyways." he told her. "...so, welcome to the basement." he said as he stepped off the bottom stair.

Stopping at the bottom of the steps, Nic looked around appraisingly, squinting at Caleb after a moment. "Dull," she pronounced to him, shaking her head disapprovingly, "Although you'd save on repainting costs if we didn't do this. But then we'd have come down here for nothing and our only option would be to draw beards on each other. So..." Kicking her shoes off, Nic unzipped the front of her hoodie and moved into the basement farther, debating where to start and what to draw. "No laughing at my attempts either, or you'll still get the beard option."

Caleb smirked, leaning against one of the metal supports that periodically hung out in the middle of the floor. "Sure that's our only option?" he asked her innocently, the tone of course contradicting the look he was giving her. He had to. She always pushed his buttons then expected him to be the one to hit the breaks, every now and then? He liked to push things on his own terms. He ignored the bit about laughing at attempts. He had seen her work before, and had liked it, he wasn't expecting she'd do anything he didn't like now.

She glared back at Caleb over one shoulder, smirking a moment into the expression. "Lucky I lost my match or I'd threaten to whup on you," she snarled without any real malice, running her free hand along a bare wall. Nic needed to settle on an idea, but she was making herself nervous wondering what she could do that he'd want to see every day. "Think you might like if I did though," Nic added in a lower murmur, moving to Caleb's bed and slipping onto it on her knees. She looked back at him again with a brief smile before standing on the mattress, looking up at the ceiling just above her thoughtfully and uncapping her marker. Biting her own lip anxiously she raised it to the ceiling, commiting herself to the idea as the first thick streak of black swiped across the blank white overhead.

He watched her, wanting to go over there and do things that weren't on the list of 'good ideas'. But he didn't. Instead, he stayed right where he was, back against the pole, and he watched her. He didn't know what she was up to, but he wanted to find out. Plus, he hadn't figured she was going to do something on the ceiling, so that was interesting. Something he'd wake up and look up at would be nice. Better than the water stains on the ceiling of his last bedroom.

They were letters, slow curves of darkness that looped around and joined each other to leave spaces that could be filled later. Nic worked slow and carefully, paying Caleb no mind as her weight shifted from foot to foot, occassionally perching on each end of the bed as she reached and wrote. When she finally finished, she unceremoniously gave Caleb an awkward smile and dropped down to bounce onto the mattress, sliding to put her feet on the floor. Above her on the ceiling, the phrase was simple, but elegantly written given the angle she'd worked from. When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.

He walked over, sat down next to her, then dropped onto his back, looking up at it. It brought a smile to his lips, a light one, but genuine. "I like it." he told her, gaze ticking from the words back to the girl in question. "That meant to be a reminder for me? So I don't forget that there might be a silver lining in there somewhere?" he asked. He also reached out and lightly touched her back, just barely brushing his fingertips back and forth a tiny bit.

Stretching an arm over Caleb's, Nic put a hand down on the mattress to lean and look his way, shoulders shrugging a bit once she'd adjusted. "I just like Beard, the guy was smart," she answered, grinning down at him, "But maybe you could use a reminder now and then, yeah. That however different shit might look with what you know, there's good things to see too. Even if they look distant." He did need that, Nic thought, but it wasn't the sort of thing that could be hammered home with Caleb. And really, it wasn't even a belief that Nic would devote herself to. A starry sky, while beautiful, was mostly black. "I was thinking maybe some Burroughs on one of the walls. Something like 'I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it'. Seems fitting," Nic said, looking down the length of his arm to the bare point of contact Caleb had made.

"So your plan is to put wording all over my walls." he said. "Interesting. What about a variation on that...angel and or demon you did the one night I was out with you?" he asked. He'd liked that. And he planned on probably putting the little shadow demons he had a penchant for drawing along the floorboards, and probably other places. Now that she'd put the idea of putting up artwork he was finding he was warming to it quite quickly.

"Not all over, no, just... on a lot of it." She chuckled at the assessment, looking past Caleb at the walls. He was requesting something? Now she felt pressured, for sure. Nic didn't actually draw much, spraypainting was much more forgiving for that sort of art, but she wasn't going to beg out of it either. "What sort of variation? My pick?" she wondered aloud, "Or did you have something specific in mind?" Personally, she could see the figure she'd done before with Caleb's own artistic detail of the streaks on its' face.

"If you were inclined to draw it, then of course it'd be your pick." Caleb told her. "And you don't have to. I just happened to like that." He'd gone by later to see it again though it had been painted over by some city worker or something. But either way it was gone, and he'd been disappointed by that. He drifted his fingertips back and forth again, mind drifting towards the shadow of Leija's he'd put up in the orphanage. Which remined him of Leija in general, and that had him withdrawing his hand and glancing away, like he was just looking at the walls seeking inspiration for art, even if his mind had really shifted gear. It did that.

Whatever insight Nic still lacked on Caleb, she knew a few concrete things by now. Like the fact that when he made contact, he didn't break it easily. Oftentimes it was when something made him twitch, though Nic had no clue what could've done that here, if it happened at all. She turned as he glanced away, Nic's arm folding to lower her down next to him for a moment. "I know I don't have to," she murmured, "But I like seizing chances when they come up. Hasn't burned me yet." And with that she slipped from the bed, sliding against Caleb as safely as she could and hopping to her feet, then moving for the wall to the right of the bed.

Maybe it hasn't burned you... went through his mind but he didn't share the sentiment. Instead he sat up again, and kept his eyes on her. He didn't say anything, not sure what he wanted to say. He didn't want to bring up Leija, though with her having been discharged and everything, her mom was officially off the hook. So that was something. No more heavy favors hanging over people's heads, or at least, not actively. The woman could certainly pull it out any time she wanted for presedence and the whole 'you owe me' thing.

Oblivious to the darker twist of Caleb's thoughts, Nic moved to the wall and spread her hands out to either side, gauging the distance between her arms. She tucked the marker in her teeth, shedding her sweatshirt and pooling it on the ground in front of her, then kneeling on it and starting to draw. He wanted variations, and suddenly she had an idea in mind. It started as low, curling tendrils that worked up from the baseline of the floor, growing denser and clumping together in shapes that were slowly becoming wings, the tips of which trailed and tendriled. "Keep encouraging me and I might actually end up trying it your way, all pencil and paper," she said back towards Caleb as she detailed the broader curves of the wings' outsides.

Keeping his concentration on Nic, it helped slide his thoughts back more towards the here and now, which was a benefit. He also liked what she was doing there, so that was good too. Seeing it painted fully would be interesting. "You should try it." he told her. "Or something else. I like charcoal too. There's a ton of different shit you could go for. And I have recently discovered that theft from the art room isn't that hard, so..." he trailed off, sitting forward, forearms resting on his knees.

"Charcoal?" she echoed, working the marker in narrow twists between the wings, shaping legs that seemed to be pointed down as if the figure was floating, "Just might have to try it. And dude, if I can lift tools from the auto shop? The art room's gotta be easy." She sat back for a moment, scrutinizing her work thusfar and adding the odd streak to each wing, then turned in her kneel to look Caleb's way. Nic watched him for a long moment of silence, eventually looking back and starting to toy with the angles of the face. She wanted to capture the agelessness the first spraypainting had held, but was still intent on changing aspects of it too. It was a challenge, but one she welcomed. "What have you been grabbing?" Nic asked as she got back to the drawing.

"Minor things. Paper, some graphite. Charcoal, shit like that. I was going to go for some paints, but my brother shelled out a little for me to get new stuff, so..." he shrugged one shoulder, still not sure how he felt about that. But then he was fairly certain he was always going to have issues with anyone paying his way even when he didn't really have means otherwise. "I haven't been doing much though...it's kind of hard to, lately." he admitted, still watching her work.

She was doing delicate work when he said that, inking the curves of hand that were interwoven with the bottom-most tendrils from the wings, and Nic had to pause. She capped her pen for a moment, standing and looking back Caleb's way. "How come?" she asked earnestly, "Because of the fire? Stuff with Leija?" Potentially, there were several more reasons, but Caleb was never an easy one to guess on. "Just not feeling inspired?" Nic added to the list of possibilities, toying with her marker and taking a few steps closer.

"D, all of the above?" he suggested lightly. "I don't know. I mean, it is all that, but every time I go to try and draw anything lately, I just kind of don't have anything. I think it's because I lost it all. I only had one sketch book with me, so I lost the majority of it. Like I lost the painting." Which was a spot that was much sorer for him than he would have guessed had someone told him it was going to be just so many ashes after a while. He supposed it was because it had meant something to him. And past that? Most of the artwork he did meant something to him. Sure, he did the idle, random scribbling and shit, but most of the serious drawings he'd done had some connotation to either his headspace at the time or the people around him. Like Leija was gone, and so were the ridiculously excessive amounts of drawings he'd done of her. Didn't exactly seem fair. But it felt a little like he'd lost little scattered pieces of himself when they got torched. That he'd put it down in the form of shadows and light on a page, and now they were all missing. Hell, it had been so long and so much had happened in the meantime with some people that he couldn't bring up a crystal clear memory of them. Like Ten. But he'd done drawings of her. He'd drawn her wings on her back. But he couldn't quite remember what they looked like anymore.

Nic moved to the edge of the bed, sitting on the floor nearby and resting an elbow on the mattress like Caleb tended to do in her room, listening and thinking on his perspective. "I should've taken the painting," Nic mourned with a sympathetic smile, "I mean... I sorta know about losing stuff? And you can't force it if you don't have anything, but if you lose something you can't outright replace then the best you can do is make new memories." Which, with her missing past, Nic had spent the whole of her remembered life working at. She was finally understanding that, too, and seeing the value of what she had. "When you have something to channel? You'll know. And hopefully I'll get to see it," she added, hoping it would be soon. Caleb was good, and Nic thought the outlet was probably a good one for him. She leaned in, resting her chin on her arm as Nic studied Caleb intently. If she was adding her streaks to the work in progress? She was adding his eyes, too.

"I'll let you know if I do." he said, voice light. "You can tell me it sucks, and that it's probably just angsty, pussy artist bullshit that got put down." he added, a bit of self mocking in there, but he couldn't quite help it. at the moment. "I don't keep photographs of people or anything. And even if I did, those would be gone too, I guess, but I do drawings. And....well. Some of those people are gone. And so's my personal record of them."

Reaching up with her other hand, Nic was hesitant and feather-light as she touched one of Caleb's eyebrows, brushing the slight curve of it for her own sake. "Well, remember what you can then. Write it down, draw it out, tell me about each and every one of them," she offered, feeling the other brow, "Life can take everything, you know? But that doesn't mean you should give it without a fight." She smirked then, shaking her head at him, "I haven't seen one bit of yours yet that was angsty, pussy bullshit. Do we need to start drawing lines on your wrist too?"

He didn't exactly lean back from her touch, but it confused him a little. Kind of like the way she seemed to be studying him too. What she said surprised him a little. The whole telling her about all of them thing. That he didn't expect. That was pretty invested in someone, if you were signing yourself up for that. Unless it was just a figure of speech... "I don't give up anything without a fight, just in this case, I didn't have the opportunity to put one up. It all just got yanked." At her last bit, he shook his head. "No. Just usually by now you've said something like that to me. Thought I'd beat you to the punch."

"You know I never mean it, right?" Nic had to ask, sitting back once she withdrew her hand, "And even if I did? Your art, Caleb? Fucking gorgeous. I miss it already, I can't pick up your slack." It wasn't a figure of speech, and honestly, Nic wanted to know. Talking about Leija had made her uncomfortable, but it was important too. If he was ever going to trust her enough to really confide in Nic, she had to find ways to deal with her own issues so she could help with his. "I know you don't just give up, too. It's one of the things I like so damned much about you," she added, finally rising and turning back to the wall. She wanted to capture his eyes before the shape and feel of them faded.

"Your sarcastic voice is a whole lot like your regular one." Caleb said, which wasn't a direct answer to the 'you know I never meant it' question, but was kind of one. It was true, even if it didn't exactly pinpoint a yes or no there. Mostly, it was yes, he knew she didn't mean it, but sometimes that didn't quite matter if you heard the same thing over and over. And Nic really loved playing that 'you're a fag' card. Obviously she knew he wasn't, but that occasionally wasn't the point. And he knew at the moment he was just a tiny bit overly sensitive, at least moreso than usual. It was that vulnerable feeling he couldn't quite shake. With the Leija situation, what had happened with her then her abrupt departure, that didn't help. The fire, and all that rolled in with that which included Dorian skipping town...he actually had a lot going on. Though part of him really resented the fact that the loss of the angel who'd completely fucked his head over was still messing with him just as bad.

Nic flinched, glad she was facing the wall. Her shoulders heaved with a deep inhale to keep her hands steady as she drew a swath of black where one eyebrow was needed, matching it a moment later. Even if Caleb had told her not to edit herself, there were obviously still tendencies that needed addressing. "Yeah," she said simply, deft and careful as she outlined an eye, trying to capture the perception she saw in Caleb with simple arcs, "I know." Nic didn't know what else to say without sounding like she was making excuses for herself, so the silence drew out again as she drew the other eye, filling in dark pupils. She didn't move for the face, imagining the eyes surrounded by a splash of silver, like whatever the being was seemed to emerge from nothingness.

He didn't say anything further on the topic as he kept watching her work. He picked at a hole in the cuff of the long sleeved shirt he wore as he did so, wanting her to step back so he coudl see the whole thing but not wanting to interrupt her either, since she was working on it all. He knew that there was a flow sometimes, that you had to get things out while things struck you, and so he sure as hell wasn't going to go interrupting that. She was doing as he'd asked, he wasn't going to make that any harder on her. He considered putting music on, but didn't do so quiet yet, still more interested in watching her work than he was in filling the silence.

The last detail to be added was a simple one, a turn of the marker to run the flat of the marker down three times under the right eye, creating the streaks she'd decided on before even starting to draw this out. Nic finally capped the marker, setting it on her sweatshirt before she turned back around and scooted clear of the spot of wall, sitting back on the ground. She could've moved back over, but thinking about how she often spoke to him and not knowing how to address it had put her in an uncertain frame of mind. Which was probably for the best, given that Nic knew she'd want to push for things she should deny if she was right there. "Done for now," she said, letting her head thunk back into the wall, "Until I get out my cans and venting masks, at least."

He looked at it as she moved away, stopping the incessant little picking at the hole in his shirt thing as he did so. He took his time, and eventually stood up and walked closer, though still stayed a good vew feet back so he could view the whole thing easily. He noticed the streaks on the cheek, like he'd done with her, and that made a little light touch of a smile turn his lips. "I like it." he told her, and it was a few long moments more before he tore his gaze away to look at her again. "Thank you." Even if it wasn't done, he liked it. He appreciated it.

"Thanks for letting me take a crack," Nic replied, smiling up at Caleb as she said so. It could've been a multi-faceted statement, especially in regard to the details about Caleb himself that Nic had put into the piece, but she wouldn't say so directly. Either he didn't notice or he didn't mind, both of which were okay with her. She figured he didn't notice, and that almost made Nic feel a touch proud of the drawing itself. "Just wait until it's colored," Nic went on, "I can totally see it in black and silver."

"Whatever you want." he said. And he wanted to get closer. He really wanted to get closer. Which was why he stayed put. He wondered if she still owed him a few seconds, or if he'd cashed those in or not. He couldn't remember at the moment, his life had been fairly eventful lately. He did keep his eyes on her though, in that intense sort of manner he got when he was just watching. Studying her in his own way.

According to her own rules when she'd said as much, Nic owed him more than a few seconds. She wasn't thinking about them right now, though, caught in his scrutiny like she'd done to him earlier. "You indulge me too damned much," she mock-protested, futilely waving a foot his way and hitting nothing but air. "Keep this up and I'm gonna turn into a fucking princess, all demanding of you and shit." As usual, there were already demands she could make, but wouldn't. "What're you gonna draw?" Nic asked, instead of requesting something from him.

"Maybe I'm waiting to hear interesting princess demands." he said, light touch of a smirk on his face. It was just barely present, but there. And he thought about the little 'princess' drawing he'd done of her, when she'd been crashed out in his bed. Too bad that was gone. Maybe he'd have to do a new one. "And I don't know. I'll have to think about it." he told her, not really thinking about that right now. He was more focused on her.

Nic chuckled low in her throat, looking down at her knees as she did to keep from squirming. Caleb just had a way about him, and she didn't trust her eyes to not show some of those interesting demands when she looked at him. "So I could say something like..." Nic began, eventually glancing his way, " 'Oh my! I'm too tired to stand! Carry me, please'." Which was a phrase she'd punch someone for if she heard it, so she figured it qualified here.

He flashed a little grin. It was brief, but there, and he pushed off the pole and walked up closer, looking down at her. "You could demand that." he agreed. He leaned one hand on the wall, still looking down at her. "Are you?"

"Either that or some company down here," Nic decided, flashing teeth as she smiled up at Caleb. He would keep on bugging after she left, Nic knew, but if she could provide even a little relief for a while? Maybe just keep him safe from himself? It was a worthy goal. "And do I have to demand it? Or can I just ask? I know I'm a bitch and all, but I don't like being that kind of bitch."

He didn't let his eyes waver from her, but he hummed very slightly as if he was considering. "I'd say if you're going to make proper princess demands, it's got to be said right." he told her gravely, like he knew this was hard news for her to hear, but he had to tell her the truth. "I know it'll be rough on you, but really now." he said, shaking his head. "That's just the way it's got to be."

Nic sighed at that, bumping her head back into the wall solidly and flipping Caleb off. "I'm gonna have to kick my own ass for this later," she muttered, chewing on her lower lip for a moment before she fixed a critical look on Caleb. "You there, boy. I'm ready to be moved now, and don't jostle me around too much during, or you'll be worse than fired." Nic snapped at Caleb, unable to hide wincing at herself or to even keep the faintest hint of a laugh out.

Caleb had a hard time not laughing either, but he managed it. He grinned, an untrustworthy expression, but he reached down to snag her wrist and he pulled her up, before he did sweep her up off her feet. He purposefully cradled her against him, so she couldn't easily get down again. "Where to?" he asked. "Unless that was too bumpy for you already and I'm fired. Oh. Sorry. Worse than fired."

She wanted to kick and flail, it was instinct on how to react at being lifted and cradled. Caleb had done something similar once before, after they'd fought the werewolf, and it had been briefer, not to mention Nic had been too shocked to fight it. Now, she didn't quite want to fight it, she just felt weird as hell. Looping an arm around his neck, she leaned in to nuzzle at him just a bit. "Once around the block?" she suggested in a low murmur, "But no stairs, they'll upset my dinner of quail's eggs and lobster."

Again, he had to keep in laughter at that, but he started to make the slow circuit around the basement. past his bed, around past some shelves, past a little closet or two that he really hadn't looked in much, over towards the laundry area. He liked that nuzzle she'd given him. And he slowed a little, heading past the washer. He set her down on top of it, hands resting on either side of her on the washertop, and he leaned in close. He liked counters. Washers worked just as well. "I know this is an unscheduled stop and all, but it was a point of interest in the last city guide." he told her, voice low, near her ear.

"I can see why," Nic murmured in a low tone, smiling unsteadily when Caleb spoke in her ear like that. She was already feeling bad as her legs hooked around his to hold him where he stood, reaching up to grab his sweatshirt in both hands. Nic leaned back a bit, drawing him with her in a lean she was eager to support. "You do make a decent taxi, I'll have to retain your services," she added, releasing one hand and letting it smooth up over his shoulder to tease the back of his hair.

He was happy with all of that. He was happy with being kept there, and the way she leaned, and he went with it. "Just trying to do my job well, ma'am." he told her. That, as he nuzzled at her earlobe, then gave it a tiny bit of a nip. Which was possibly cheating, but he, in the back of his mind, had already decided he was going to be hitting buttons here. He wanted to, and he'd been pretty good with behaving lately. So, particularly with how he was feeling of late, he wasn't quite up for self sacrifice this evening.

It was definitely cheating, and oddly timed cheating at that. Nic hadn't planned on getting this close tonight, she'd originally just figured she'd drop his car off, hang out for a bit, and get home. But here they were, and this time the issue of self control was definitely hers to deal with. And while she tried? She was only human. The slight, too-quick nibble spawned a fleeting little gasp from her, a choked sound that would've been lost if Caleb wasn't so close. One leg slid higher, hooking him tighter as her fingers grabbed at his hair lightly. "Y-you're doing fine, young man," she stammeredi n a whispered rush, smiling at herself and the little routine they had going, "Keep this up and you may even get a bonus of some kind."

He made a tiny sound, not anything that was articulated so much as he held his breath for a moment, because he tended to like the hair thing. But what he especially loved was the trip up in her voice there. He nuzzled lightly along the column of her neck, not doing more than that for a few moments, so she could feel his breath against her skin. "Anything the lady wants specifically that might lend itself towards said bonus?" he asked. He kissed her neck then, sliding his lips up towards where he'd had her marked before, and unfortunately, that mark had faded. In fact, it was pretty gone, now, but he was considering reinstating it. And he gave her the lightest brush of teeth to put that idea into her head properly, just in case she hadn't already considered as much.

Any time he ended up near her neck, Nic's thoughts turned to the mark. His claim, his flag, the one thing that they'd agreed upon despite the confusion of everything else between them. She remembered their talk about collars, and Nic had decided at some point that one wouldn't do, because it would cover the bruise Caleb tended to leave. She didn't want that, not nearly as much as she wanted this. If he liked when her words faltered, he had to love the inhale Nic took as if she was about to speak, as it only produced a fluttering exhale that trembled all on its' own when she felt his teeth against her skin. "You've already been very... accommodating," she whispered, "But you will be justly rewarded."

Somewhere in the back of his mind, waaaay deep down he half wondered why he was doing this to himself, but it wasn't a voice he was paying even the slightest bit of attention to. Hearing her like that, the exhale, how she whispered, that was nice. His hand found her hip, and while she'd already hooked her legs around him and such, he pulled her closer to the edge of the washer. He nuzzled her skin, right where he usually marked her, and he brushed the softest of kisses there. "So I shouldn't stop then?" he asked, before he gave in and just bit the girl.

The little shifts were a warning, but being warned never made the eager anxiety lessen for Nic. She shifted willingly as Caleb slid her forward, her other leg rising to join the first in keeping him trapped there with her. It seemed like his whisper was as torturous as the bite itself, since she'd never told him to stop. In fact, she'd only ever told him the exact opposite. The first instant of the bite saw her fingers knotting hard into his hair as Nic cried out, shaking bodily against him and feeling the pain-starred pleasure crash into her. But that first instant broke as the sensation became so natural-feeling to her, her hand untensing to smooth down his hair and scratch at Caleb's neck. "Not ever," she whispered, feeling a low fire in her stomach as she cradled his head in against her neck.

Her reaction was something he savored. He loved getting that kind of reaction. Both all the physical cues, the auditory ones...especially that little whisper of hers. He knew that he'd be leaving a mark, and as he drew back, just enough to look, he could see the white ring of teeth marks, the harsh, dark red around them, and soon colors would start to fill in all of that. He didn't really give himself that long to admire his work, though, he looked back at her, reached up with his free hand to tangle his fingers in the back of her hair, and he pulled her in to kiss her hard. So sure, he had meant to downshift after he bit her again. That just didn't happen, and he wasn't ready to start agonizing over it yet.

What he could see, she could feel. The break of contact brought out the basement's cooler temperature starkly as the wet patch of Nic's neck was exposed, and it only accented the heated ache and pressure Caleb's bite had left. She wanted him right back there, but at the same time, he was good exactly where he was. Kissing him bruisingly hard, Nic reached back to Caleb's hair, nails digging into his scalp as she pulled him harder into her lips. She wanted to draw him right back onto the washer with her, to kiss hard enough that they'd both be bruised, but of course it'd only lead to more trouble. I like his trouble, though, she thought dimly as they meshed.

There was definitely a helpless little moan in the kiss, he liked her nails, the fact that she was kissing him back with as much force as he was putting in. He pulled her back towards the edge again, so she was just barely supported there, because that way, he could grind against her which he did. Yeah. Trouble. Whatever. He was a little done at the moment with giving a damn about that.

Really, Caleb was creating all the little things he liked so much. The urging little moans from somewhere in Nic's throat timed with his presses into her, and that contact was breaking down what little restraint she usually had that kept her from going too far. She wanted to peel off her shirt and feel his lips all over her, to press forward and let him carry her wherever he wanted, to do whatever he wanted. Still, there was the dim awareness of the Lines somewhere in her mind.

Nic hadn't wanted this until Caleb could tell her everything, they both knew it. It was just so hard to resist, knowing how good it could be. But she'd meant it in the past when Nic had told him that control wasn't just on Caleb, that she would fight for it too. Even with the intent there, she still couldn't help indulging for a few more long moments, sliding her tongue past his lips and murring in enjoyment. He tasted like pure want to her, and it was damningly invigorating, almost enough to just let her run with this wherever it led. "Oh god, Caleb," she gasped as she finally broke away, trembling and pushing back into him against her better judgment, "We... we need to stop."

He didn't, not right away, though he did groan in protest, really hating that idea. Stopping just seemed like such a bad plan. His heart was thudding in his ears, and he wanted her. Flat out, seriously, he wanted her. And they were alone in a house and would be for quite a while. They had privacy. And a bed, not that far away, if they even made it that far. "I don't want to." he told her, voice not the steadiest it had ever been. He wasn't saying no, that they weren't stopping, he was just expressing himself in the most honest way possible.

Those simple words made Nic hate herself for speaking up in the first place, given that she didn't want to either. She wanted to take the chance and damn the consequences, to groan his name, taste his sweat. "I want you," Nic purred, back arching so she could press into him as she squirmed on the edge of the washer. "I want you so fucking bad," she went on, the purr becoming a sultry growl as Nic's nails dragged up through Caleb's hair, "But... we can't. Not yet."

She got another sound out of him, due to her voice, what she was saying, her nails...everything. "I want you too." he told her. "I just..." he started, but cut himself off, growling as he rested his forehead in against her shoulder, by her collarbone. He took a few moments to just breathe, and calm down, not that it was working for him. "I'm not...I know we're not meant to be officially together, or any of that shit, and I just...fucking--I'm not built for it."

The closeness was soothing to Nic in and of itself; if he'd kissed her again instead, Nic might have lost herself and her resolve. So she just held him at first, feeling both of their hearts jackhammering and listening to Caleb breathe as Nic switched from scratching at his head to smoothing over his hair. "Hey," she murmured, gripping Caleb's hair lightly after a moment and tugging his head up so she could find his eyes. "Whatever we said officially? I'm here, I'm with you here... it's where I want to be. I want it enough to piss us both off when I pull back like this." She smiled faintly but genuinely, her cheeks still flushed, chest still heaving. Of course, now it was as much from the anxiety of being honest as the rush of them together. "I said before we didn't have to push? But we can push."

"Can we?" he asked, watching her eyes. He leaned closer, wanting to kiss her again. Feeling like it was bordering on need, and he didn't even know where this was coming from. Maybe it all played into his mood. Where his head had been at for weeks now, and all of a sudden he was in a position to make all the noise stop, just for a little while and he wanted that to happen more than anything. And beyond that? There was genuine emotion involved, which made it all worse. If it was only the headspace he had to worry about he could shut it out. But it wasn't. It was her, too. And everything about her. He reached up, to pull her in again, to kiss her, though it was something that was more reserved. Something that was almost tentative, but not quite. There was a whole lot of held back, pent up feeling there, and he recognized somewhere in the back of his mind that his hand was shaking just a little.

Nic's eyes slipped shut, an anguished smile twisting her lips for a moment. She wanted to ask him everything he couldn't say before, but it was wrong to consider right now, she could see it from the intensity in his eyes. It was wrong because he was vulnerable, the guy who seemed so untouchable most of the time. "We can," she eventually murmured, twisting in to kiss him softer than before. There was pressure to it, but it was slower, conveying the depth of it all that she felt both in herself and Caleb. When she finally pulled back, it was reluctantly, and her hand slid from his hair to cradle Caleb's cheek in her palm. "We're strong enough, I believe it," she whispered, coaxing him back in without another word.

He went with it. He didn't know how strong he thought they were. He knew he didn't feel a whole lot like he had the best grip on control at the moment. There was a thread of desparation going through his system right now that he couldn't do anything about, and still didn't want to examine too closely. He kissed her, wondering deep down how she felt about this. About him. About how he was behaving at the moment. He tried to keep things lighter than they had been. He tried to keep things from hitting that hard passionate level they'd been at a minute ago.

To Nic, it was an exultant moment. He wanted to be with her, to make this a real thing, and she felt like they were so close to shattering whatever barricades there were that Nic had no problem with kissing him firmly. Some part of her wondered just how much of the shake she'd seen in Caleb was from this, and how much was from everything else. From Leija, or the fire, or the things that spooked him about himself. She wasn't scared of it, though; Nic had helped him before they'd gotten close, she still could. More than anything else, she wanted that. Even if it wasn't official, she would hope for a balance between this and soothing the darker side in Caleb.

For him, he took the firmer kiss as encouragement. Really, he'd be happy to take a lot as encouragement at the moment. That worked well. He let some of his guard down there, and kissed her back with a little more force to it, not quite entirely letting himself go but easing back in, possibly. Enough that he felt better for it.

She wanted him to feel encouraged, hopeful even, as Nic leaned into Caleb and drew in breath from his lungs. She reached down to seek out one of his hands, guiding it up the back of her shirt and shivering just a touch as she settled it low on her back. If they could do this, it meant there was less worry over guilt, less reason to watch the lines. And Nic knew there'd still be a time, probably soon, when they'd have to confront everything still unspoken. But it wasn't here, it wasn't now. Now? She needed him, and she was starting to feel like maybe he needed her too.

There was something a little thrilling about her doing that. Her actively putting his hand where she wanted it, a permission that was given in some form. He slid it down further, though just to get beneath the hem of her shirt, so he could touch her skin. It was a slow progression back up, then farther, so if she wanted him to stop that she most certainly had the time to let him know. But he wanted to feel her skin, to touch her.

Whatever issues they'd hit tonight, wanting Caleb to stop hadn't been one of them. Recognizing that he'd needed to, sure, but that was a different matter entirely. This was different, no less hungry for Nic, but more restrained and focused. She gave a soft, approving sound into his kiss when he touched bare skin, the legs around his waist that had never moved pulling Caleb back in a bit. Releasing his arm, Nic slid her hand down the back of Caleb's shirt, wanting the same privileges he was taking but knowing that exposure was definitely still an issue to trip over.

He shivered a little at the contact, though didn't try to shy away from it. And when she pulled him back in a little, he took the opportunity to abruplty pull her closer, up against him. It went against the grain of the tone they'd set, but that was okay with him too. There was just that heartbeat of really giving in again that had slipped past. He nipped a tiny bit at her lower lip, but kept it light.

Being pulled in like that was a surprise, and it curled Nic's lips in a smile as she kissed Caleb, giving the briefest laugh when she needed air. She pulled back a bit as he bit her lip, eyes wide and delighted as she tugged it beneath his teeth, then pressed back in. Her nails sank into his back, scratching and teasing as they coaxed higher and reached Caleb's neck. Nic was torn, some part of her wanting the rush back, but she'd already shattered that moment and it was gone. And really, she couldn't complain at the current one.

He'd shivered a little before, but there was a violent shudder that ripped up his spine when she really dug her nails in. It had him sliding her shirt up, in a clear effort to rid her of it. And he'd stop if she wasn't up for that, but he really hoped she didn't stop him. He didn't want to be stopped right now. He didn't want anything of the kind. Even knowing full well this wasn't quite going to end how he wanted? He wasn't letting himself think that far ahead.

She wasn't using foresight much either, though Nic did have enough to know she wasn't going to be stopping that move on Caleb's part. They'd come close a few times, and each time it hadn't failed because one of them didn't want to, more because of their boundaries. But those had, to some extent, been toppled. So she didn't even think twice as her shirt slid up, gooseflesh tingling along Nic's ribs with the change in temperature as her arm left Caleb's neck, joing the other in rising up to let him pull her shirt away. There was a flash of anxiety as Caleb raised her shirt, uncovering skin that was pale, but not as much as the makeup she wore, and dappled with both the odd freckle and the scars on her arms and chest Nic would never know the origins of.

He dropped her shirt off to the side, and didn't immediately draw her back in, even if a large part of him wanted to. Instead, he looked at her. He took a moment to appreciate what he could see. Like the scars, even if she'd showed him before. He reached out and brushed his fingertips over them, concentrating there for just a moment. Clean slices, that reminded him of some of the marks he had. But then again, Caleb had marks of all different shapes and sizes, someone would be quite hard pressed to come up with a scar he didn't have a match to. He let his fingers rest there for a moment, and then, in a heartbeat, he was back to her, pulling her back in, and kissing her with a little more heat to it. A little more of that urgency that had been threadded through everything else but they'd almost left behind. Just...not entirely, apparently.

The contrasting feel of his clothes against her skin wasn't entirely new? But it had been a long time since Nic had been undressed in any capacity with a guy. Still, she was glad this moment was the one to shatter that dry spell. Pressing into him eagerly, Nic bit down on Caleb's lower lip as she replayed the wandering touch he'd had. The way his eyes had looked when he'd been studying her, not judging, just... observing. Detailing her in his memory, maybe. And the brushing touches across her scars had been a wonder, for once not making them alien and terifying for her. Whether it had been intentional or not, that burning desire had started to surface with Nic again. Her lips shuddered against his, rippling down Nic's body for a full tremble as she led his hand around her back again, settling it at the clasp of her bra.

She could really keep right on up with the encouragements like that. This one, like the first, had it's own effect, and he exhaled, and concentrated a moment on getting the clasp undone. It took a second, but he managed, reaching up to slide the straps down her shoulders, then it got dropped to the wayside as well, not that he was really paying attention to where her clothes went, so long as they weren't actually in his way anymore. Sliding his hand up her ribs, he cupped a breast, squeezing just a little as he kissed her again, again, harder, that initial mood creeping back in a little at a time.

It was a strange feeling, the sensation of being touched, of being so exposed. It was definitely cooler in the basement, the chill seemed to cling to her skin and give her light shivers as Caleb teased her body. Or maybe that was the rush of it. Probably the latter, as those shivers spurred Nic onward to kiss Caleb more heatedly, reaching to the top of his jeans and pulling him into her as she ground back against him. She wasn't thinking about what was next exactly, stopping herself beyond the knowledge that she'd likely enjoy the hell out of it.

He was all for pushing in against her, and he wanted to feel her skin against his. He just wasn't ready to take that full step on his own yet. Which sucked, but one didn't just get over twitches like that with no problem. He still needed to work at it. Still, he kissed her hard, and let his hands explore, map her out, until he got to the button of her jeans.

That touch on her waist, the insistent strength she could feel from Caleb, surged through Nic on another little flutter of anxiety. She ignored it, knowing that every moment in the past had been good, that this was a moment she had to trust. Diving into it, Nic undid the catch of Caleb's jeans with a deftness that surprised even her. She didn't seek lower, though, instead smoothing her hands under his shirt and slowly up his sides. "I don't need to see you," Nic gasped as she broke away for a breath, "But I want to feel you." And then she was back in, hungry and fevered as she kissed him.

Caleb weighed that. And really, it was no contest, because he wasn't exactly doing a whole lot of clear thinking. Especially with what she did with his jeans there. So yeah. Sure. Right. He pulled back when he could, and looked back over at the light that was on, which was just a lamp by his bedside. And it was really far away. So he took care of that by sweeping her back up again, kissing at her neck as he walked them back over towards the bed. He dropped her onto it, killed the light, then dropped down onto the bed with her.

Oh shit, Nic thought in the rush of seconds when she was carried and dropped onto the bed. It wasn't a panicked thought, more of a pure rush over the fact that this was happening. She slipped around on the bed, feeling for Caleb as the darkness washed over both of them, and when she found him next to her Nic didn't waste an instant. Her hands were back under his shirt, smoothing up his stomach and chest to push the shirt higher as she leaned in, pressing her lips to his ribs. The feel of him was strange in ways she'd tried to anticipate; raised in some spots, divoted in others as Nic got closer to the scars than she ever had. She knew the sight of them would bother her, so the darkness was a perfect cover to let her keep focused as she dug her nails into his chest, growling hungrily into Caleb's skin.

It was sensitive for Caleb. He didn't usually let anyone touch him period, he twitched about that shit, and so deliberately allowing it was strange. Especially since it had been a bit since the last time, and the last time hadn't exactly gone well. But he was determined to not let that derail anything. So, when she pushed his shirt up, he reached up and tugged it off, dropping back, letting her do what she wanted. When she dug her nails in, he hissed quietly, reaching down to drift his finges into her hair, and he pulled just a little.

He was a roadmap under her, and as Nic snaked higher along his torso she could feel all the strange edges and contours of his scars. Some felt smooth, others were harsh and ragged-seeming, and though she knew she'd flinch at the sight? Nic also thought she'd want to see them sometime. Just not tonight. The last vestiges of the sloppy bun holding her hair up fell away when Caleb pulled, spilling some of it to each side to drag across his skin as she moved, and Nic hissed in quiet appreciation when he pulled. She went with the pull, working higher up his body and teasing Caleb's neck with her tongue before she was kissing him fiercely again, pushing him down into the bed for a moment and starting to roll to one side.

Caleb kissed her back, grabbing her leg behind the knee and dragging it up by his hip when she rolled them to one side. He was well aware of the fact that by now? He was probably just in massive trouble here. He shouldn't have started it in the first place, definitely shouldn't have let it get as far as it did, and bringing them over to the bed? His worst idea yet. And yet he could not be bothered to care in the slightest at the moment, as he just completely dropped into the moment, letting everything else go for a few, as rare an occurance as that was for him.

She liked to think there were still lines, that there was a shred of control to rely on. But in the pure heat of the moment, with darkness to hide any worry either of them might show, Nic wasn't entirely sure that would hold true. Her leg slid around Caleb's waist, hooking him to pull him with her as Nic twisted onto her back, wanting his weight against her. Really, she should've stayed stopped when she'd voiced her doubts the first time, but wasn't this the chance they'd both wanted? Maybe, but maybe not, if they couldn't follow through on it. Smoothing a hand up over the criss-cross of scars on his back, Nic tangled her grip tight in Caleb's hair as she pulled him down into the kiss, knowing that it was either that or going lower. And lower was trouble.

He rolled with her and pushed against her, groaning into the kiss as he really did just revel in it all. And he still wasn't quite coming back to his senses which he really needed to do, yet didn't want to. Caleb spent a whole lot of time restraining things. Instincts, urges, thought processes, everything. Pretty much in all areas of his life, he did it to some degree, and for once he was just saying fuck it and letting go. Probably not his wisest decision ever, but that's where he was at. Going with the moment, feeling her against him, wanting more.

Caleb wasn't alone in that instinct, and that was a problem. The small voice in her head that told Nic there was still control would be drowned out if she had to make a sudden choice, her head was spinning and the push Caleb gave only dropped her deeper into the haze of it all. Nic didn't have much of a chance to really think about her actions as she reached between them, scratching along his waist and past the open clasp of his jeans. She was running on a mix of instinct and need, and her only conscious thought was more, a thought that voiced itself as a longing groan into his lips.

When she touched him, he groaned, and pushed up against her further. Yeah, sure, this really hadn't been the smartest idea but damn he was not in a frame of mind to regret it right now either. He wasn't calling a halt. He was fairly sure that was an even worse plan. So...he didnt. He drew back to breathe, but didn't do so far, and he bit at her neck again, really going for leaving a black mark on her this time. One that was going to hurt for a few days and last a while.

Pressing the side of her face into the pillow, Nic made a whimpering sound as Caleb bit down. It genuinely hurt this time, but she was too swept up in things to care enough to stop it. Not to mention the strange, possessive feelings she had where his mark on her neck was concerned, especially after tonight and Caleb's 'I don't do anything halfway' comments. Feeling him for the first time, she shuddered beneath Caleb as one hand smoothed up over his shoulder and down his back, pulling him urgingly when he pressed in even as the other teased at him with a certainty that came more from desire than experience.

He'd gotten the button of her jeans undone earlier, and he started to push at them, wanting to rid her of more clothes. He was still aware, still in the back of his mind just how bad this could get, but he wasn't listening right now. Besides...he'd messed around before and not gone that final step, right? Sure. Whatever. He let up on the bite on her neck and kissed it, not tasting blood, which was good because he hadn't wanted to break the skin. But he did know she was going to be wincing for a day or so if it got knocked.

And simultaneously, Nic found herself both squirming to help her jeans come off and yelling at herself about just how dangerous this was, or would be. She knew how they smoldered together, always seeming to burn a bit more intensely with every chance to be alone, but Nic wasn't questioning the wisdom of it too heavily. Somehow, she still trusted herself to back away if needed. Really, she trusted her anxiety for that. Sliding both hands off Caleb with agonizing slowness, Nic hooked them in the waist of her jeans to slip them down her hips easily, wiggling free under Caleb and drawing a bare calf around his legs as she turned to undoing his jeans properly.

He appreciated that little move, the calf thing. Of course he also appreciated her enthusiastically helping him out with the getting clothes off thing. That was nice. And when she started on his, he didn't stop her. He did take the opportunity to do a light, almost too light exploration of her skin, kissing her shoulder in what was actually a soft sort of manner for him. Of course he nipped at the same spot a moment later, to make up for that momentary light touch, but still.

She was gradually working herself around him, trying to envelop him in long limbs and keep Caleb held close, not seeming to want any sort of real separation. His jeans were loose around his hips now, an opportunity Nic exploited as she kept her arm down to leave her shoulder beneath his lips. Working her other hand with her legs, Nic was slipping the jeans down gradually, insistantly as she craned her head up to bite at the clump of muscle at his shoulder and felt him on very different levels. She was done dwelling on the scars, even if she could feel them pressed into her; there were too many details right now telling her that Caleb was completely caught up in the moment with her.

He let out a sound, one of appreciation more than anything else, and he sort of half helped her with his jeans, while giving her shoulder attention, liking the smooth expanse of skin. When his jeans were clear, he pushed her back, shifting to lay out next to her. Which really, wasn't where he wanted to be. He wanted to be over her. He wanted that worse than anything, but...well. He still had some loose threads of control left.

It was curious to be in this spot, to know some things objectively and see how they didn't matter in the heat of the moment. And it was good that there were bits of control in each of them; Nic would've hated herself if she'd had to break things off, no matter how right the choice would be. She didn't stay back for long, of course; shifting onto one side to drape a leg over his as Nic fought the urge to just climb onto him. It would've been easier if she didn't already know how perfectly they seemed to fit together, that was for sure. She smoothed her calf up Caleb's again, silently marveling at the patchwork feel of his skin as Nic settled a hand at his chest and smoothed it down, wanting to hear those quiet sounds from him again.

He was keeping his own twitches to himself for the moment. They were there, it had been quite a long time since he'd been quite this unclothed with someone. Generally, he at the very least kept his jeans on but apparently? Not tonight. Tonight, things were going differently than planned. He slid his palm along her thigh, up towards her hip, liking the feel of it. Being in the total dark here was interesting. It made him feel a little more secure considering she couldn't see all the damage. And maybe eventually he'd be alright with her seeing it. She was feeling it without seeming to be repulsed, so...that was something. He was taking it at face value at the moment. Moving his hand around her hip, down her stomach, he brushed his fingers lower, seeking, and he listened for her, thinking running on sound and touch at the moment wasn't the worst of ideas.

They were already a tangle of limbs on the bed, but Caleb's touch was what knotted them tight. And it wasn't that Nic had no warning, it was just a sort of pinnacle unto itself; being so tightly wound and then hitting a moment that was exactly what she wanted. She choked on a gasp, one hand closing tighter around him as Nic pressed into his touch and leaned in to his bare chest. Shuddering out a breath against him, Nic planted a quick set of unsteady bites and kisses up his chest before she sought out his lips. She was deliberately slow, not trusting herself in the dark as she nuzzled at his jawline to locate him and finally pressing in for a kiss she was aching for as she ground against his hand.

Caleb was, for just a few little minutes there, happy. It wasn't an emotion he was that familiar with, really. Usually there was something wrong somewhere, his disposition usually being set to 'sullen and mildly combative' was proof enough of that. But with her reaction there? Yeah for just a few moments, he was all good. He put his full concentration into touching her, getting reactions out of her and of course, kissing her. He was fine with the pace-change of the kiss too, and he threw himself into it, going for that slow, intense burn that he'd felt before, that he wanted her feeling now.

Her body was betraying her, but it was nothing Nic could gripe about. There was just no chance that she'd be able to hide the pleasure that was flowing through her, no hope of stifling the gasps between kisses as Caleb's hands roved. Nic couldn't even control the way her own ministrations got more urgent whenever he was coaxing her just right, but she didn't care. She wanted him to feel this amazing, to get even a glimpse of how dizzying it could all be for her. The ache hadn't gone away, it was building slowly in her muscles, hinting at what was ahead, and as Nic shuddered under its' intensity she started a slow back and forth of her free hand, twisting nails up from Caleb's hip across his back, then down again

Caleb was really enjoying this, which, sure, was a given, really, but he was vaguely surprised by enjoying it on more than just the base, physical level. Though that was there too. He pushed against her, and kept up his concentration on her, pushing things a little faster, maybe a little rougher. After all, they were on par with those sorts of things, weren't they, and he could feel her nails. Plus they were in a basement in an empty house, it wasn't like they needed to worry about being overheard or interrupted.

The gasping gave way to proper moans as Caleb pushed things forward, overwhelming Nic with a moment of sheer bliss that she fought to work with instead of lose herself in. It was maddening to know how close they were, how easy it would be to take that final step, and the longing for that spurred her to match his movement. Nic squeezed him tighter, trying not to get too rough but needing to throw away a bit of control for her own sake. Keeping things how they'd been just took too much conscious thought, and it was thought she didn't have to spare. "God yes," she gasped as she broke away, rocking against him and dipping her head down to settle a bite on Caleb's collarbone.

She was drawing him closer during it all too, though something about what she said there seemed to trigger things even more. The way she was moving, sounding, what she was doing, it all added in together. He was making his own sounds, rough exhales as his breath got harder to catch. Everything seemed to drop away all at once, leaving him feeling a little blindsided, but in a good way.

All at once, it became too massive for Nic to rein in. Maybe it was the reciprocal encouragement of the noises he was making, or the feel of him, the taste of his skin with a faint edge of sweat to it. Whatever it was, Nic found herself seized by it and dragged past the edge of control. Her body felt whit-hot, muscles surging exultantly as a drawn-out moan escaped her lips and she shook bodily against him. She twisted higher as her leg locked around him, seeking out his ear to bite at the curve feverishly and give a throaty groan of "Oh fuck...", her hands striving to drag him with her and express the awe of the feeling.

He wasn't far behind her, really. Just a little, just a few more moments before everything hit him. That seemed to make everything in hm tense up all at once, and he was very aware of everything then. Her, their position, what she said, the bite on his ear, everything. Everything tensed...and then he collapsed back, taking her with him, since he was of a mind not to give up the closeness for the time being, as he tried to catch his breath, and let his heartrate return to normal. That might be a bit, though.

His crash was an utterly foreign thing for Nic, a first for her to witness. Sure, she knew what happened on a basic level, but to be there for it? It was a wholly different thing with his reactions thrown in; his tension, his breathing, everything made it amazing. She wished she could've seen his eyes, imagining what they'd look like as Nic let Caleb pull her and settled against him. Her head rested on his chest briefly, hearing his heart pounding away before she kissed her way up over the scars and claimed his mouth slowly. "Damn you, Lockwood," Nic murmured in the darkness, the shaky smile plain in her tone.

He kissed her back, smirking a little into it. "That's what I get? Damned?" he asked when he pulled back from it, his tone a little winded still. He had one arm around her, and he traced his fingers up her spine, because he could. He was all kinds of good with just lying there for a few, not doing anything that would even remotely be considered taxing.

She laughed in the darkness, a short and exhausted sound before Nic pressed him down into the bed with a kiss, sliding her fingers back through Caleb's hair. "No, you get me," she whispered as she broke away, "I'm just damning you because you're too good." Not normally an excessively snuggly type, Nic was nonetheless pressing in to nuzzle at his neck as she savored the passage of his fingers up her back. "Don't think I've ever trusted my legs less," Nic added, low and aimed into his ear.

He chuckled a little at that, grinning in the darkness. "So, don't trust them. Stay here." he said. Which he knew wasn't a fix for the whole night, she'd have to leave. She had a mom who worried about her and shit, but for the moment...well, he wasn't going anywhere and he didn't especially want her to. "And too good? Really? Is there such a thing?"

"As long as I don't have to move? Nope, no such thing," she answered, smiling wider when he laughed, "Which, lucky for us both? I'm not planning on getting up and finding my clothes any time soon..." Nic settled atop him more fully to back the words up, uncurling lithely to slip her leg in with his and keeping her hand busy in his hair. "So..." she murmured more thoughtfully, "Feeling more like home down here yet?"

He laughed a little, really really enjoying this. The feel of her against him and her fingers in his hair while he was this relaxed? Yeah, that was something he could get used to really fucking fast. "Might be." he told her. "It's definitely feeling a lot less hostile." he added. "One might even call it welcoming at this point."

She curled against him when he said as much, looping her other arm above Caleb's head as if she was hugging him without squeezing. "Here's hoping," Nic told him, leaning in to kiss Caleb for a light, lingering moment, "Otherwise I might not come visit, and that'd be an issue for me since y'know... " He was right, though. The dark seclusion of the basement did feel welcoming, and though Nic wouldn't give herself all the credit? She took a private moment to think that it was their space, in a sense.

He started to pet her back, like he had in the first place, light traces of his fingers up and down her spine. It felt nice to be able to do that at all. "You have to come visit." he told her. "Can't bail on me now." At least, he really hoped she didn't. He hadn't even told her yet, she could bail then. which...really didn't make him want to take that last step, admittedly.

"Who's bailing?" Nic scoffed incredulously, leaning up like she might get indignant at Caleb and instead preening into his touch a bit. "Worst-case scenario, I still have a room we can defile too. There's just a lot less room for invaders here." Settling back in, she was careful as she lined her forehead up with Caleb's, wonder if there were actually flashes in his eyes she could see, or if she was imagining them. "Besides, you're more comfortable than my entire bed."

"I'm comfortable?" he asked. "Hm. You are too, really. Even if I'm playing furniture right now." he said lazily, still just kind of in a good, laid back mood. "But defiling your room...you know I could really, really be up for that." he told her thoughtfully. "Your mom works a lot." What with being a nurse and all. And at MGH, which had frequent calls to deal with weird shit.

She couldn't help laughing, smiling at the slight feel of her hair brushing his cheeks. "You and me both," she agreed, "Hell, if you ask me? We pick up where we left off in there." Which was the wall by her window, something Caleb seemed to enjoy that Nic had become a fan off too. She shifted slightly, kissing Caleb's jawline as a tingle of nerves rose up, even if Nic didn't think they were valid. "I'll bug you, though, and you can just come over," she said, "Even if my mom's there? I just... I like seeing you. I could use more of it."

Caleb tilted his head more towards hers. "This mean we're going to stop sort of...avoiding?" he asked. Since they had been to some extent. And he just wanted to be absolutely sure they were on the same page. Though from here it sounded like this was on both of their agendas as a regular thing. Which he could very much handle. At least at the moment, before everything else kicked in.

"I want to," was the simple reply he got before Nic had to buy her face against his neck, taking slow breaths to compose herself. "I... I'm fucking stupid about you, Caleb. And I'm pretty sure you think I'm okay," Nic teased with a little chuckle, "And I know we need some lines? You need time to sort out how to say what you need to. You have it. I need time to just... be ready? For that, for this too. For being close to you. So let's keep a few lines? But throw the rest out, they clutter up the place."

He smiled at that, and reached up to tip her face back out so he could kiss her. He kept it light, soft. More in depth than a brush of a kiss, because he wanted it to convey more than that. "Okay." he told her. He was good with that. He could handle that. Kinda. Probably. He'd sure as hell try.

Nic couldn't decide if it was a victory or a failure, given that she'd wanted to hold back entirely, once upon a time. That was the problem with getting to know him, she'd realized. Caleb already held back so much on his own, and what escaped when they were together was earth-shattering. She was marking it in the win-column as she kissed him back and slid a hand down his ribs where she'd been scratching. "We can keep up the public indifference," Nic assured him eventually, "Unless I need to smack some ho cheerleader."

He kissed her again before he answered her. "...is that what you want?" he asked. He didn't know, really. But then he was the dumbass who couldn't actually handle friends with benefits on any real level. Most guys would jump at the chance, love it, but not him. Of course, not him, when it would have made everything so much easier.

Nic took a silent moment to consider that, absently twisting a lock of Caleb's hair around her finger as she did. "I don't want to be joined at the hip," she said eventually, "We can hang out now and then? Ditch class, get lunch, whatever, but it's not like I'm going to think you're ditching me if we don't." Nic was grateful for the insight on Caleb that she had, it made her own conclusions feel just a bit more right.

"You're not my whole world, Caleb. You just happen to rock every other part of it. So... yeah, that's what I want. As long as you know you can find me any time you want, and I'll do the same." she explained slowly, smiling at the end of it all. Consideration, that seemed to be the key. That and a willingness to make her effort clear.

He listened, and there was a part of him that was disappointed, he had to acknowledge that. And he did, silently. On his own. It wasn't that he wanted to be the center of her world. That would probably be the absolute worst thing ever. But there was a part of him that didn't want to just be something on the side. And remain on the side. Hanging out, doing whatever, not curbing impulses, but what she wanted was that publicly casual thing. So...she'd get it. He just knew he'd have to make some adjustments in his own head over it. "I'll keep it in mind. And you know where to find me." he said, conceding to her wishes on things.

What he didn't know, what she hadn't been able to say, was that they were nearly parallel on what each of them wanted. "What do you want?" she asked of Caleb instead of taking back what she'd said. Of course Nic wanted more time with him; she was ready to ditch whatever part of her supposed image she'd have to for it, but she thought of what he'd said before. Of the weight of holding someone else up. And however much Nic knew she was crazy about him? She wouldn't force him into that spot again, not for anything. "Do... do you want me there?" she went on, her voice lowering to a whisper that echoed with uncertainty, "It's where I want to be, y'know. With you, wherever it is."

That's not what you just said to me. Caleb said, so it confused him. He was quiet for a few long moments, wondering why she'd kind of turned around on things. He hadn't said anything wrong, had he? He'd just...agreed. Gone along. In the end he didn't so much answer directly, as gave her an honest statement. "I want not to fuck this up." he told her. So whatever it is you want, you'll get. Just pick something.

"So do I," Nic agreed, chewing her lip for a moment, "It's like..." She trailed off, unsure how to explain it at first as she pushed up a bit to look down at where she knew Caleb was, watching the faint silhouette of him. "Remember that first night? When I said we didn't have to push? I... I want to push now, but I don't know if I should. And it's stupid, but it's new too, and I'm scared I'm going to break it." The vulnerability of the moment was unsettling, but Nic didn't think she wanted to back off now. That was how Crazy Girl behavior started, she figured.

"Just bear me with, okay? If you see me and you want to throw me up against a locker? Run with it. If you don't? Okay. I'll go with my gut, which'll get us in trouble in the halls but whatever. It beats playing it safe," she explained, at least feeling better for voicing her full perspective, if not confident that it all made sense, "But you're my first boyfriend, so I deserve a little slack in figuring all of this out." Which, using that word? That was telling in and of itself, but also true in her mind.

She wasn't helping on the confusion front. Maybe it was a girl thing, and he really just flat out didn't understand or something. Girl-brain really didn't make sense to him a good chunk of the time. "Nic," he started, after a few long moments of silence when he just tried to work out how to word things. "First you said that you want it to stay casual. That that was what you wanted. And now I'm hearing the word boyfriend. Help me out here, okay? I'm lost." he told her honestly. He couldn't very well not fuck things up if he didn't even know the score anymore.

Yep, she'd definitely screwed that one up, and the darkness of the room was good to hide the burn of her cheeks. Still, Nic was rallying to not scramble away from him or really do anything to show her anxiety. "Okay, bear with me, part two," she said with a nervous smile, "What happens at school doesn't mean much to me, that's what I meant when I said it could be casual. If I know what's here with us? And that we'll have our time to do whatever? Then I don't care what everyone else sees. You could piggyback me around all day and I'd love it, but you don't have to, you know?"

She sighed as she leaned in, brushing a thumb across one of Caleb's eyebrows. "What they get to see isn't what's here, I know that. And maybe it'd be weird for me in the halls, I really don't know. But if there's a chance to just... put it out there?" she asked, sighing again and shaking her head down at him. "It's tricky to explain, I guess. And I just need to ask? Are you wondering about what I want at school? Or what I want from us, period? Because it feels like you're talking everything, and I just figured you meant, like, at school."

He took a minute to answer. Seemed he was making a habit of that, and didn't know if that was a good thing or not. Still, he sort of kind of tried to figure out what to say before he opened his mouth and stupid things came out. His main trouble was he didn't know what the right answer was anymore. He wasn't any less confused about things than he had been five minutes ago, even if she'd tried to explain. He was still stuck on the saying one thing then pulling a one eighty on him. Which really, he was used to being the one who pulled that random abrupt turnaround bullshit, it was taking him a second to catch up with it from the other end. Why would I mean just at school? Did I mention school? Was that anywhere in there? he wondered but didn't say. That he figured was The Wrong Thing. So, he just kind of kept that in. "I'm kind of not sure what to say at the moment. I feel a little like I'm not sure where I stand." he admitted. "I--maybe we should talk about this when we're a little more sure about things." he tried, not sure if that was the right thing either, but he didn't like the feeling like things had shifted and they hadn't been meant to. He felt like he'd missed a step somewhere, and for the life of him couldn't actually figure out where.

That feeling was mutual, and Nic hated it for happening. She'd been trying to clarify, to correct the way she'd misunderstood, but it was too late. And it stung. "I... think I had things wrong," she murmured, leaning down to kiss Caleb's chest as she started to slide gradually off of him. "When you asked what I wanted? Public casual shit and all? I thought... I don't know." She did know she wouldn't be able to explain it in any way that'd fix the tripfall she'd apparently hit. "I know what I want. I may express myself for fuck-all, but I know. And... I'll be here when you feel like giving me another shot to screw up expressing it." And then she was off of him, feeling for her discarded pants and the marker she'd shoved into her pocket. Fuck, I need a smoke.

Internally, Caleb was just flat out flailing a little. He couldn't help it, it was just the way things were going and he wasn't quite sure what was actually happening. He definitely felt like he should know, but that didn't magically clear it all up for him. So, he didn't even know where to start to get things clarified, though he felt like things were all wrong now. Perhaps he should have just stopped when she said to. ...had he pushed too hard and gone and fucked everything up? He didn't think that he had. She hadn't seemed unwilling or anything. But then again, he knew his perceptions weren't necessarily the most spot on it the world. He was a half demon. He didn't always get shit right. He knew he didn't like when she pulled away, but he didn't stop her, not trusting himself to. He also sat up and went searching for clothes. "Did I do something?" he asked, after a few long minutes of silence.

She'd managed to slide pants back on during the silence, listening to Caleb shift around on the bed behind her, and when he finally spoke again Nic uncapped her marker and gave a quick slash of black on the underside of her wrist. "No," she eventually said, using her own voice to cover the click of the cap closing, "I did. Honestly, Caleb? You haven't done a single thing wrong since I met you. Not one. Hell, you've done everything right." She fell quiet again for a handful of moments, finding her bra in the darkness and slipping it back on before Nic spoke again. "I thought... when you asked what I wanted, I thought you meant what I wanted in public, at school, any time where we act like nothing's up. And I felt like it'd be best for both of us? But..."

Nic felt her throat tighten from the sheer anxiety of it all, and she reached up to her shoulders to wind her hair tight again, tying it back with an elastic from her wrist. "It's not what I want. I want this, and not because of getting close with you. I get you, and not in that 'asshole I know your game' way, just like... like I've been there, or close. And I like that, I like understanding someone. I don't want to be casual about that, you know? But just... this, all of this? I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, and I keep messing it up even when it's shit as simple as 'what do you want'. Shit that anyone with a brain and a tongue should be able to handle."

He listened, trying to follow it all, and still didn't get where he might have given the impression of things only in public or whatever, but that was beside the point. He did listen when she said she'd thought it would be best, though, and even if she kind of half took that back, his mind definitely latched onto it. He had to wonder if that was her gut reaction, if that wasn't what they should go with. He didn't know. Then he figured he might as well just say what was on his mind. "Nic, if that was what you thought, if that was your knee jerk reaction to that, then maybe that's what we should go with." he told her. Nevermind that hadn't been what he'd been talking about in the first place, that was where her mind took it, what she'd interpreted it as, so it was just as valid, in Caleb's opinion.

"I've learned not to trust my gut reaction," she told him, shaking her head, "Like, after the werewolf? When all I wanted to do was push myself until I broke? Or with you, and my first instinct was that things were going to be sidelined at best as far as us even being friends." She started to chew at the tip of her thumbnail, needing some kind of fidget to make up for a lack of cigarettes, hen turned to look towards Caleb's voice. "I don't trust me, Caleb, I sabotage myself. But I trust this, whatever it is we have. And I know I told you once that I wanted to know the things you couldn't say, and I still do? I just... I want to be selfish, to let you be selfish too. I want to take a fucking chance and maybe end up hating you because I know I'll be happy before that time comes, if it ever does. But, like you said, maybe we should just go with my gut. It's probably saner."

And probably safer. Caleb thought but didn't share. He also didn't comment on her thing about being happy before the fall, because he knew about that, and it still bothered him. Like everything did, and sure, here it was. The place where he remembered exactly why he'd been avoiding going further with her. Because when he did tell her it was all going to crash. And not just between them but it was going to blindside her, and she was going to be left with a lot of really fucking awful questions. Like what it said about her, and other fun things. "...maybe we should." he said quietly. "Least for now."

She'd done it, she'd cracked things apart before the afterglow of even being with him could start to fade. And Nic knew that was overdramatic of her, but she couldn't help it. She'd admitted to wanting things that they both knew were wrong, and once again Caleb had to be the one who was strong enough to point it out. Still knowing that she was taking it all too hard, Nic found her shirt and pulled it on, looking up to the solitary line of light from the door out of the basement. "Okay," she agreed softly, "We can." And to do that right? She'd have to back off for real, not just say she was going to and give up the next time she saw him. "I should bolt, I guess. Last thing I need is my mom finding an empty bed."

Was it that late? Probably. Caleb exhaled quietly. "yeah, I guess so." he said, and he finally, clothed entirely again and all, turned the lamp back on. "...you okay?" he asked, not quite sure how else to word his concern. So he went for straight forward. It usually worked best.

Scowling at the sudden light, Nic moved for her sweatshirt with an eagerness to cover back up, looking back to Caleb as she shoved her arms down into the sleeves. "I will be," she told him, not really even considering anything but the truth. Whatever she'd done wrong here, lying about how she felt wouldn't fix anything. It'd only get her in the same class as Caleb's exes, and Nic dreaded thinking that was possible. "I, uhm, I have a lot of shit to think about, I guess. Where we stand, what I want, what I need to do if it's just not realistic. And... maybe making sure I'm answering the same question you're asking, next time," she added with just a hint of a self-deprecating smirk, shaking her head at herself.

He watched her, and felt like he'd fucked up. He didn't know quite how he'd done it? But that was definitely what it felt like, even if Nic's agitation wasn't directed his way and he knew it. "...you'll have time. I...kind of feel like I've fucked things up, though." he told her, going for honesty there. "I'm sorry if I did." he added, because that he needed out there too. Fuck. He needed things not to go to hell so fucking consistently.

There was a sharp twitch under Nic's eye when she heard him, and when she looked over? Caleb's body language made it plain and clear that he meant it, he blamed himself. So even if her own issues had prompted her to distance herself from him initially, Nic wouldn't stand idly by and let the guy beat himself up for her screw-up. She moved over, grabbing him by the chest of his shirt and giving a little tug towards her, but not pressing in for anything too personal. "Hey," Nic murmured, already shaking her head, "You didn't fuck a single thing up, Caleb, okay? If either of us did, it was me. Maybe... is it possible we're both stressing over each other? Blaming ourselves for just misunderstanding shit?"

He considered that. "...that's possible." he said. He didn't know if that made him feel better about things or not, but there wasn't a whole lot that was going to do that right now. So, he didn't go for putting on a happy face, but he didn't look like things were worse either. "So we're...figuring things out?" he suggested. "Taking time?" How in the living fuck had this turned from his wanting to say fuck it to the friends with benefits thing to taking time? He really had to wonder how the shit that had come about, but that's what it seemed like was going down.

"I'm ready to try it," she agreed, nodding slightly and still holding onto his shirt. Nic's lower lip disappeared between her teeth for a moment, fingers tightening in his shirt. She didn't think it was a good idea to do this? But she had to try. "Or... we could trust each other and take a chance. Be together, tell everyone to get fucked," Nic murmured, watching his eyes raptly and gripping his shirt tighter to keep her hands steady, "It might be a bad idea? I'm made of those. But I'm not scared. Not of this, not of you." And then she stepped back, grip loosening a little as she shook her head at herself. "Taking time's probably the way to go," Nic admitted, sighing at herself and the effect Caleb tended to have on her.

He went back to being confused. Tonight was kind of a big ball of that, really. Because there were more turnarounds. Telling him she wanted to take a chance, then stepping back and saying taking time was the way to go.... He reached up to rub at the bridge of his nose for a moment. "Right now I think I'm just going to...not make any fucking decisions." he said. "Is that alright? I just...don't know the score right now, and you know how I feel about you and everything, but you're not helping me out a whole lot just now."

"I'm not helping either of us," Nic murmured, "I just keep fucking second-guessing myself. So... yeah. Ignore me. And we'll talk about it sometime or something." And the worst part of it all was that none of it was Caleb's fault, it was her. Asking him to take a chance and then giving him an out before he could even answer, but why? Did she think he'd say no on his own? Nic wasn't entirely sure, her head was a mess of endorphins and adrenaline, emotions were running high, and she knew she was digging herself in deeper. "I... can I say I'm sorry? For fucking bouncing back and forth?" she asked, "Because like, in my head I know what I'm trying to say, what I want to say. But none of it's coming out right."

Exhaling, Caleb dragged his fingers through his hair and looked at her. "You can, but I'm not pissed or anything." he told her. He wasn't. Confused as all fucking get out? Yes. Beyond confused. He was off balance in a fairly major way at the moment, and he was just really having a hard time even beginning to suss this out, but that he didn't blame her for. "We'll talk. Sometime." When he wasn't sure. Yeah. Off balance was a good way to describe him at the moment. Vaguely, he wondered if Dean had these kinds of issues.

"I didn't think you were. But you remember when you gave me shit for making sex jokes without experience?" she asked bluntly, smiling at just how ludicrous she sounded, "I... don't exactly have experience here either." She moved away from him and to the steps, sitting on the bottom few for the moment and toying with a hole in the sleeve of her sweatshirt, eyes trained on it. "So, I dunno, it feels like a pendulum? Like I feel great and just want to dive in, then I'm suddenly paranoid that I fucked things up and I back off. Shit, you just saw it. So... I'm sorry for all that. And if I actually figure shit out? I'll let you know."

Caleb leaned back against one of the metal support beams in the basement and watched her. "...I'll be around for when you do." he told her. He hoped she didn't take overly long in it and shit, but...well. there wasn't much else to do. He couldn't push her to just make her mind up or anything. And if he did, he wouldn't be satisfied that it was what she really wanted in the first place. So, yeah. There was little to actually do here but agree. "Try not to drive yourself nuts over it or whatever..." he added, thinking she probably would anyhow.

She smirked up at him, resting her chin in her palms and shaking her head. "No chance of that," Nic told him honestly, reaching to her neck to gently brush the mark there. The skin was exceptionally tender, which seemed fitting for her frame of mind at the moment. "But I'm glad you'll be here. It seriously means a lot. I feel like I do know what I want? But I'm sabotaging myself tonight, so I'll not-sleep on it," she went on, shaking her head at him. This fucking guy...

"Somehow I don't think lack of sleep will really help out the head on that." Caleb said, quirking a light half smile at her that didn't make much of an appearance, but was there for a second or two. "Never does with me." Because he was king of spinning his wheels on shit and losing sleep over it. He did that to excess a lot. "Just remember, if you've been awake for seventy two hours you're legally insane." he added on the end, to try and lighten the mood a little.

"Psh, I can do seventy two hours like nothing," Nic assured him, heartened even by the flicker of a smile. She'd get her head straight, she was confident of that. And when they did talk, she'd make sure it wasn't on the tail-end of the best experience she could remember. "So watch out, Lockwood. They'll never convict me," she said with a note of feigned menace, rising from the stairs and holding out a hand to him.

He pushed off of the post, and walked over, unsure really what to do now. Yeah, that off balance thing fucking sucked. It left him feeling like everything might be a little wrong, or could potentially be. And as he'd said from the start, he didn't want to fuck this up. So, he wasn't quite sure what to do, but he did get closer to her, waiting to see what she'd do.

What she did was a simple thing, but one that still brought a needed degree of reassurance to Nic. Still reaching out, she grabbed Caleb's shirt again and stepped in close, thunking her head into his chest lightly and staying there, just breathing in the smell. She could faintly hear his heartbeat, a sharp contrast to the pounding she'd heard less than an hour ago, and the diffrence ached a little, but Nic didn't let it show. This was fixable, she was confident of it. "Sorry," she murmured into his shirt, "Just... in case we take a few days before talking or something? For my memory's sake, that shit's all busted."

He stayed where he was, reaching out to settle one hand at her side, but he didn't do more than that, still all kinds of unsure of himself. He wasn't generally used to feeling like this, though it occurred that he should be. Still, it didn't help. He stayed where he was, though, and smiled faintly. He also wished he had the perfect thing to say, but he was thinking the less he said the less likely it was he was going to make things worse. So, he just stayed where he was, close, and he did much like she did. He drew in her scent a little.

She could've stayed in close like that for a while, but Nic figured it'd lead to trouble of one kind or another. Tell me what you couldn't, soon, she thought at Caleb, slipping her arms around him for a much too brief squeeze before she let go and sighed. "God damn am I ready for a smoke," she murmured, smirking at him, "First of the day and shit. If I keep this up, every cough's gonna come with a prize." Which felt solid; returning to the gross, somewhat self-deprecating humor she relied on.

"Well, you enjoy that." he said. Though he was kind of glad to hear it was the first of the day. He was still under the impression that unless you had perks that let you ignore the physical hinderance that kind of shit put on you, you didn't do it. Because one never knew when you were going to need your lungs to work properly. Or whatever, really. Or you were caught somewhere without your drug of choice, and fitting over that in the middle of shit wasn't a good plan. "Talk to you soon." he promised.

She was surprised that he wasn't already planning to see her home, but Nic wasn't going to ask about it. She could use the time to clear her thoughts, maybe turn that one cigarette into three. And if Caleb wasn't thinking of it? She really had fucked with his head, and he needed space that she wasn't in. "Even if it's not the talk," Nic started, moving up the first few steps, "Bug me at lunch? Or I'll bug you. Whoever finds whoever first." She gave a more enthusiastic smile to Caleb, mentally rallying at her own convictions here. Optimism, while foreign to Nic, was a must. So do it, bitch. Put on some sunny disposition.

He nodded. "Alright. See you then." he said. totally unsure about oh...everything. Though he was probably going to follow her home. It had been a while since he'd stalked, and he could use the walk in the first place. it wasn't that far, or anything. He might have offered to drive her, or walk with her, but at the moment, he didn't want to drag this out. He was already keeping himself quiet so he didn't fuck anything up worse, prolonging that would only make things that much worse. "Careful on the way home." he told her like he wasn't going to be shadowing her.

While he'd hinted before at his tendency to shadow her, Nic wasn't thinking about it tonight. Moving up the stairs and back through the unfamiliar house, she had to stop to tilt a framed picture on one of the walls before she moved out the door, still thinking the place needed breaking in for Caleb to feel comfortable in it. And then she was out the door, shivering at the cold that cut through her sweatshirt before Nic lit up, pulled her hood over her head, and started on the walk home.