understanding metal ballads

Who: Caleb and Nic
Where: her room
When: Late

Eventually she'd crashed, as she knew she would. Nic had dozed where she could in school that day, using the energy to keep her motivated for kickboxing class and to see her through oddities like her encounter with Jaime or getting a ride from Kavin, of all people. But when she'd gotten home? She'd been well and truly exhausted. Nic had skipped dinner with her mom, giving weary hugs and reassurances that it had just been a long day, then heading to her room to sleep. She'd managed four solid hours of deep dreamlessness before waking again, and she knew within minutes of coming to that she wouldn't get much more rest if she just laid there with her eyes shut.

Thankfully, it wasn't like she was a girl with nothing to do these days. If she wasn't working at Ash's, she was training. And where said training was concerned? Sure, most of it had been the kickboxing, but she'd also spent handfuls of time with her most recent purchase from Nevermore, an introductory text to the core of white magic. The philosophy wasn't one she saw herself suited to; Nic was no defender in her own mind, but she was driven to try anyway. There was an urge inside to help the people that mattered to her however she could, so whether she admitted it or not? Nic was a defender, or on the road to becoming one.

That road? Well, at present it involved some Tricky playing softly on the stereo as Nic stood in the middle of her room, dirty laundry pushed aside both to give her space and to cushion her if she fell. She was perched on one foot, arms carefully stretched to balance her as she brought the other foot up high with a dexterousness that still surprised her, wobbling uncertainly for a moment. Her lips moved soundlessly as she stretched, reciting the components for the first minor trick her witchcraft text had offered up. The plan was to try and memorize them, but all at once her lips stilled as her brow knotted, the raised foot lowering with a mutter. Was it lavender or lilac petals the spell called for? Sighing and pushing her hands over her hair, Nic turned to move for her bed, claiming both the open book and the largely uneaten sandwich that sat on it.

Caleb hadn't gotten to catch up with Nic properly for a day or so, and it was making him twitch. But then again, everything lately was making him twitch. The situation with Dean was making him twitch, with Nic, with oh...everything else ever. Hell, he was even twitching that he hadn't heard from Rose since her last text and she hadn't answered any he sent to her since, and he hadn't seen or heard from Leija either. Or, well, beyond glimpses of the redhead in the halls at school, and in class, but that was kind of not the point. He'd kind of dropped into hardcore brood mode, something he knew he needed to kick himself out of, but he wasn't very good at that. Self motivation for things wasn't his forte. Either way, however, he wound up outside of Nic's window, and he had to pause to just look in at her for a few minutes before he knocked. He was still a bit of a stalker at heart.

Despite the fact that there was a precedent for Caleb doing exactly what he was doing, Nic wasn't minding the window. Her late night meal was moving away from her mouth as she chewed diligently, hips dropping in an impromptu strut to the music. Skimming the open page, Nic mumbled around a mouthful as she saw her mistake, shaking her head at herself. She was halfway into reminding herself that this would take time, that she couldn't rush it, when Caleb's knock sounded. Nic whirled to face the window, eyes narrowed warily for the brief second it took to register the face on the other side. She raised the book to hide her smile, swallowing the mouthful of food before lowering it and setting both her studying and meal aside. Moving to the window, Nic eased it open slowly to keep it quiet, propping her palms on the sill and smiling at him. "You lost?" she asked in a simple greeting.

Despite his brooding sort of mood of late, he flashed a short smile at her. "I might be. Got the heart to let in a weary traveler from the cold?" he asked her, thinking that with the whole snowbank situation, it was actually going to be easier to climb in her window. Not so fun getting back down, but the additional height from the ground worked in his favor the one way, at any rate.

She had a more than one teasing response spring to mind, but Nic choked them all down as she considered this. Before things had gotten so enjoyably complicated, Caleb only showed up like this when something was wrong. So was there a problem now? Did he just miss her? Was he the type who might just watch her sleep, creepy and endearing as that idea was? She figured it might not be any of them, even if she wanted one or another to be true. "Get to climbing," Nic answered with a wink, offering her hands to help hoist Caleb in, "I know I don't want you thawing in the yard when spring hits."

"That would be needlessly messy, yes." he said, climbing in and he made a light attempt to kick the snow off of his boots as he did so, before he was properly inside. Then he shut the window, so the cold air didn't follow him in and he bent to unlace them. "I interupt anything interesting?" he asked lightly, not looking up at her just yet, but listening.

"Working on balancing my teebs," Nic told him with a smirk, moving back to give Caleb room to shirk his boots. "I need to make sure I don't fall on my ass after I kick someone's ribs in, y'know? That'd just be embarrassing. Doing some reading, too. So in short? Absolutely fucking not," she summarized with a smirk, flopping down to sit on the edge of her bed. "What about you? Just a sleepless night?" His own were moreso than hers, Nic knew, and with good reason.

He shrugged, getting his boots off then he shrugged his coat off as well, walking over towards the bed, but he didn't join her on it. Instead he did what he'd done in the past, which was he took a seat on the floor next to it and leaned back against it, resting his head back so he could look at her at a bit of an awkward angle, but still keeping her in sight. "You know generally when you kick someone's ribs in, they tend to be way too busy doubling over in pain to really worry about you falling on your ass." he told her.

Nic chuckled quietly at the observation, reaching down and seeming to hesitate for a moment before brushing her fingers up through the peak of Caleb's hair. She knew she shouldn't, not with everything they'd talked about and even agreed on, but that knowledge was hard to hang onto when he was right there. "Can't say I've ever been in that situation," she admitted with a smirk, "Gotta remember that my fight record's been stupid shit at school, where there's always an audience." Moving slow, Nic shifted to recline along the edge of her bed, fingers tugging Caleb's hair fleetingly to turn his head with her movement. "What I'm doing now? Hopefully won't include said stupid shit."

He liked the little tug of his hair, and did turn it obligingly to look at her. "Hopefully." he agreed. "But yeah, ribs? Pretty important, really. They do things like house organs and such. And if you splinter ribs, then you start looking at possibilities of perforating organs, and...I'm just going to stop right there." he decided. "I can still hope you don't have to get into any serious fights." he added, sort of a tacked on statement.

"You and me both," she agreed, nose wrinkling with a grin as she digested Caleb's observations. Nic wanted to help, yes, she wanted to watch Caleb's back in a world that she thought didn't allow for such things very often. That didn't mean she wanted to go toe-to-toe with a werewolf or vampire or anything of the sort. She just felt like she had to be as ready as she could in case there was no other choice. "Missed you at school today," she said in a softer tone, her expression turning teasing a moment later, "I was dead-fucking-tired all day, wanted to go crash at your place, but I? Am too lazy to walk through that snow."

He smiled lightly at that. "Well, you could have. Or you could have stolen my car, and taken that back to my place." Not that he lived that far from school. But it was shitty out, end of story. It was nice to hear that he'd been missed, though. It was kind of an odd sort of feeling. He wasn't used to being missed yet. He knew it happened upon occasion. Leija had missed him before. Things like that, but...well. He'd disappeared for a while when he was sixteen and no one even noticed, so... Yeah. He wasn't used to it by any stretch of the imagination. "You not sleeping well again then?" he asked her.

Propping an elbow under her as her other hand went back to toying with Caleb's hair, Nic's smile dimmed a touch. "Story of my life," she confirmed with a shrug of one shoulder, "It's like clockwork, really. I just need a different weekend than everyone else so I don't have to do shit the next day." Nic liked thinking that she could just steal his car, she could imagine Caleb laughing to himself when he discovered its' absence. "Whenever I actually crash tonight, it'll be okay I think." She hoped, at least. Nic knew there was a pattern to the nightmares, but it was just such a strange piece to try and fit with her life. Or it had been, at least. Now? Maybe it could make a little more sense. "Seems like it's always Tuesdays or something, Wednesday is my toilet day."

Caleb was enjoying her playing with his hair a bit. That felt nice. It was relaxing, really, even if it was something that he wouldn't ever actually ask for. "Always tuesdays? That's...specific." he landed on. "What do you remember about them?" he asked. They'd talked about her nightmares before, but it never hurt to rehash. "What kinds of emotions?" Which might have been easier to latch onto than specific imagery or themes.

Her smile faltered as Nic glanced away for a moment, moving her hand by touch alone to the back of Caleb's head. "Fear," she answered, looking back as her thumb settled into a rhythmic brush where the pressure cut she'd given Caleb had been. She didn't like talking about this, not one bit. Even acknowledging that the dreams happened made Nic jittery, like she could almost taste blood in her mouth from the idea alone. "Hate... and it's not an emotion? But heat, maybe fire. I just... I don't know." Nic's jaw tensed for a moment as her hand went still and she forced herself to look at Caleb's eyes. "There's not a memory there, not really. Just shreds that disappear the moment I wake up."

he nodded, listening to everything, sort of just letting her get through it in her own time. He appreciated not being told to mind his own goddamn business, really. So, he didn't rush her, he just listened, and noted everything in his mind. Of course, it (probably inappropriately) gave him ideas for a drawing, but he kept that detail to himself. It wasn't like he couldn't feel that tension coming off of her. "Some night, you want me to stick around?" he asked, voice light. He knew it wouldn't make any difference if he was there or not, if she had the nightmare regularly, but he could be there when she woke up. Or if he saw her thrashing around, he could wake her.

"Only if it's to keep me awake," she answered after a moment of thought, the smile returning a touch. After all, that was how he'd helped her avoid it the night before Halloween, and that had been quite the method of keeping her alert. "My mom kinda sleeps light? She's used to making sure I'm okay." But the offer itself was touching, not one she'd really expected from anyone beyond her mother. "But if you don't mind me hanging out, maybe I could sneak out or something," Nic suggested instead, deciding that the setting didn't matter. Just knowing she had some support would make it all so much more dealable.

"You know where I live." Caleb told her. He didn't mind if she snuck over. He was also fairly sure that his brothers wouldn't in the slightest bit care if he had her over overnight. He shifted, turning more to face her, and he leaned closer to brush a kiss over her lips. Which really, he'd told himself he wasn't going to go in for this time, but yeah, he'd known even when he'd made the decision that that wasn't going to work out for him. And at the moment, he thought it would do a better job of expressing his feelings than trying to figure out wording. He wasn't so good with words a lot of the time, or so he thought. "So next time...come by."

As stupid as she felt for it, Nic was relieved with how her tension bled away as Caleb kissed her. She knew the problems weren't so easily solved, but a temporary fix was still a welcome one, even if it was just the solace of his company. Nic lingered where she was for a moment, wrestling with the urge to kiss him again and eventually sighing as her head dipped down to rest on her mattress. "I will," she said, smiling more fully at him, "You know... you're a tough guy to keep a line between, Lockwood." That was pointed out as her fingers brushed along the side of Caleb's neck and up, the tip of one teasing the corner of his mouth for a moment and withdrawing. "But I'm still glad you came by. So... why did you? Everything okay?"

He propped his arm on the edge of the mattress, looking down at her and not stopping her at all from whatever she wanted to do. When she said the bit about keeping lines in place, a little smile touched his lips. He knew. He didn't have a great track record with them. "I wanted to see you." he said. It was honest. there hadn't really been any ulterior motive involved. No real reason, no need for comfort, or anything else, he just had wanted to see her. End of story.

He was batting a thousand tonight, it seemed. That simple little answer gave Nic literal tingles, making her angle her face down into the mattress as she unabashedly grinned for a moment. "I'm glad for that, too," she murmured halfway into her blanket, shifting to curl a bit more around the spot where Caleb leaned against the bed. There was, and would likely always be, the little voice in Nic's mind demanding to know when she'd gotten so girly, but right now she just couldn't hear it. "I wanted to see you too, y'know," Nic went on, raising her face a bit, "You're just the more motivated one here, I guess. That's another gold star."

He watched her position change, and liked that. Absently, he reached out to trail his fingertips up and down the curve of her hip and up her ribs a little. Nothing too overt, nothing that was going to turn into more, but he just had the impulse and didn't curb it. "So if I hadn't come by, how long would you have left it before you came and hunted me down?" he asked lightly, watching her eyes.

The flash there for Caleb to see said that it would have been immediate, but it was influenced by the fact that he was here, touching her and asking at the same time. "I would've called in like... an hour," Nic informed him, glancing away briefly at her clock, "Just to see if I could wake you up. No way am I finding out who else is on the streets this late." Which was genuine, and something she'd been working to keep in mind. The snow only made being out past dark more dangerous, after all. "If you were all curled up and sucking your thumb?" she went on teasingly, biting at her lip for a moment as his fingers arced down her side, "I'dve just ambushed you before school with coffee and some Helmet. Breakfast of champions, y'know."

He smirked faintly, and pinched her side a little bit. "I don't generally sleep til late. I'm more awake at night than during the day." Which made school particularly annoying. "And I never sucked my thumb. But coffee is good. Helmet is too. You could do that anyways sometime, y'know, just if you happen to feel like it." he invited.

Nic gave a sharp little laugh, jutting a knee into Caleb's shoulder as she squirmed and reached up to seize the pinching hand. "Keep giving me all this permission and you're gonna regret it when you can't get rid of me," she warned playfully, eyes warm on him. "I've been doing pretty good with giving you space, boyo. But if you want less of it? I'll even bring you a bagel or something." She liked that idea, though, almost as much as she thought she'd like just staying over there, waking up to him. The problem was how much she liked it when Nic knew it couldn't happen yet.

Arching a brow, he eyed her. he did so for a few moments, then smirked. "You know, the way you put that, sounds like you'd be serving me..." he said, teasing. Though he could think of worse ways to spend time. Yeah, that idea had potential. But then again, Caleb did like to play around with shifting aspects of power. Whether or not that was the right thing to do, he didn't know, but it was just a part of his nature.

He almost got a full smile before Nic shoved a scowl into place, tugging his held hand by the wrist and scooting herself closer. "I'll serve you your own arm all the way up to the elbow if you keep that shit up," she warned menacingly, an expression that had never really seemed to work on Caleb. Probably because he knew what 'scary' really was, and Nic definitely wasn't it. "And you wonder why I'm always hitting you?" Nic scoffed, resisting the urge to do just that.

That would have been a lot funnier if he hadn't seen something very much like that at one point. A point he was very much trying to forget all about, even if his memory wasn't at all complying with that wish. And shaking that image would be really good right now. He needed to quit hitting trip points like that. But then again, it brought him back to what he and Dean had been talking about, which was just Nic's careless take on the world, and everything in it. It wasn't her fault, and as far as he was concerned, she never needed to know about the majority of the things he'd come across. Still, a shadow came over him for a few moments, before he shoved it aside. "I don't wonder why you hit me so much as I try and find new and creative ways to get that reaction out of you in the first place."

Nic didn't miss the flicker of discord in his eyes, it was hard to miss much at this close of a vantage point. She had to wonder about it; if it came from the secrets he still wouldn't share, if maybe she'd said or done something to conjure it, and just how small the chance was that he'd tell her if she asked. "I knew there was a reason I liked you," she said instead, smiling reassuringly at Caleb to ward off whatever that flicker of shadow had been, "Not only do you put up with me? You encourage me. And I hope it doesn't sound like a compliment, I know you're allergic to those, but you're damned good at it."

He appreciated her just moving forward with things. He didn't really want to have to go into the explanation of how he just occasionally had far more experience with fucking horrible things than anyone really should, and sometimes that got stepped on in the stupidest of ways. "I'm good at encouraging you? Well, you're just so compliant with it all, I can't help it." he told her, leaning closer again, though what he did was tilt her head to the side so he could eye the bruise he'd left on her neck. Reaching out, he traced along the edge of it, just a light, bare brush of his fingertips.

"God you just love knowing my mom's asleep, preventing me from wailing on you," Nic protested exaggeratedly, her eyes shutting as Caleb coaxed her head to the side. Nic didn't want to look away, but it was hard to believe she'd keep her gaze even, especially as she felt the light brush of his fingers. "Making sure your flag is still planted?" she asked with a faint smirk, her breath catching in her throat with the faint sting of tenderness the bruise on her throat conveyed.

"Yes." he answered her, tone light. He came close to asking her if they could have bit of a talk, only not about what they needed to talk about. Or one of the things. Not his heritage. His conversation with Dean was still preying on his mind, gnawing at the back of it. He also didn't want to get into possibly difficult talks though right now either, and he kept just tracing his fingertips along the edge, looking pretty deep in thought. He knew he should probably say more, but nothing came to mind just then.

Somewhere in her mind, Nic knew she was running an odd risk here. She wasn't a masochist, didn't need the low ache to enjoy Caleb touching her, but she wondered if that might change some day. Nic didn't want that, it wasn't about the pain for her. So eventually she reached up for Caleb's hand, sliding fingers around his wrist again and brushing his touch lower down her neck. "It's not going anywhere," she promised with a smile, twining her fingers with his as she looked back to Caleb. Undetailed as it was, she could see the dance of thought in his eyes. Nic rolled to rest on her shoulder, weakly extending her free hand to brush at his hair. "What's going on in that thick skull?" she murmured, a twist quirking her lips.

He didn't protest her switching up where his fingers rested against her skin. Though after a moment, he shifted, and crossed both arms along the edge of the mattress, resting his head on them as he looked at her. He kept her hand, and vaguely wondered if he was a hand-holding type. Some people were. He didn't know if he'd had a penchant for it before, and thought that was something he probably should know about himself. He knew he had a tendency to take people by the wrist and pull them along or move them, but that was a bit different. He also was aware he was putting off answering her question by distracting himself with inane thoughts, so he refocused.

"Do you ever think about how you're perceived?" he asked her. And his tone wasn't pointed. It actually sounded a lot more like a philosophical question than one that directly related to her. Like some higher pondering that he was just wondering about.

Nic's brow lined in faint surprise as she considered the question, it was one she hadn't expected. Was he wondering about himself? She figured Caleb had to, at times: all the darkness he saw, all the burden he carried for people like her, it was bound to force some introspection. Luckily for Nic, she had given it some thought. "Not too often," she murmured with a little shrug,, curling a bit more on the bed to keep their eye contact level. "Really? I didn't for a long time after I got here. Set myself up as 'that bitch' and I figured I was good. Lately? Yeah," Nic admitted, "I do. I... it's hard to explain, I guess. Shit's changed, and it's changed me too, y'know?"

He nodded a slight bit, watching her eyes, not letting his gaze waver. He took that in, and tried to figure out what to say next, how to lead things around. He was again thinking that really, he wasn't that good at this shit, and he didn't know why he tried, but in the end, he tried because he gave a shit. So, there was that. Which meant he didn't want to let it go. "How would you want to be viewed now?" he asked her, since she was giving him that thread to latch onto.

Nic did need to be led along, otherwise she'd be content to just keep her thoughts to herself. They were still awkward to admit to, after all, but if he was asking? She'd answer. "Depends on who's looking, I guess," she started, "Most of the people at school? I think they need to see the bitch. Things are already so weird, and if anyone had reason to start snooping? I just don't want anything coming back on me or you or my mom. But..." Nic sighed, eyes squeezing shut tightly before she went on. "I'm not a total bitch, and some people? I want them to see that. I want you to see that I'm locking down my temper, or my mom to see that I'm studying my ass off, even if it's at martial arts. Hell, there's even a few people at school that I just... I want them to know they're not alone. That I'm not going to be starting shit, but helping them out of it," Nic tried to explain, thinking of the offer she'd made to Kavin to watch out for his girlfriend and wondering if all of that made sense to Caleb without those details.

It did make sense to him, at least on some levels. He thought maybe he was missing some, but blamed that on his heritage as opposed to anything else. Still, he got what she was saying, at any rate. "Things are different when you've seen things." he said. Which she knew, she'd just said so, but he was going to be giving her another perspective. "When you've had to do things that you're never going to quite forget about. That's always going to live in the back of your mind, and even if you get that you had to, that choice got dropped by the wayside a long time ago, it's still there." he said, voice light. Quiet. "Your point of view shifts. Your behavior does." And he knew he needed to explain more there, but he was working up to it.

Caleb did need to explain more, because Nic wasn't quite sure what he was getting at. "You mean, like... you start showing a side you're not even aware of?" she asked thoughtfully, musing on it all. Nic honestly didn't want to know the things Caleb had seen and done, though she still hated thinking that he carried them all by himself. "Or do you mean you see everyone else differently?"

"Not exactly." he said. Then figured there wasn't any easy way to put this, so he came out with it. He just kept his tone gentle while he did it, and he started to rub his thumb back and forth along the edge of her hand. "Makes some things less funny." he said. "Makes some things a little harder to hear, or deal with, when it's flippant, or a big joke to someone else." he tried. He drew in a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "Like just a little bit ago? You said something." he said. "And I know to you it was funny. Just a blowoff statement. But it's really not amusing when you've actually seen something like it." He shifted his head a little, resting his cheek against his arm, eyes still on hers. "Think one of the best analogies I could come up with is telling a lot of war jokes down at the vet hospital."

She wished he wasn't watching her so closely, because there was no way Nic couldn't flinch as the realization hit and Caleb's words sank in. Her hand tightened on his own for half a second, worming away slightly the next before she forced herself to not withdraw. And even with the struggle, she curled a little tighter, scooting back just a bit on the bed. Shit. Shitshitfuck. "I didn't..." Nic started to protest, the words dying before they formed. Caleb knew she didn't do it intentionally, otherwise he wouldn't be talking with her like this. But that didn't make her feel any less shitty in the moment. And she knew herself well enough to understand that it was a reflex on her part, a flippant attitude that kept her from getting too personal with most people, but considering it now? How she'd acted around Dean, or Drea, or Nate? And especially around Caleb, with all the horror he must've seen? She just wanted to hide. Nic did the next best thing, just shutting her eyes and squeezing his hand again as she breathed the words, "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

He almost wanted to pull her down off of the bed. Get her closer when he could feel her pulling back, even if she didn't entirely. That wasn't what he wanted, and he also felt a little like hell for talking about it in the first place. But it had been there, in the back of his mind, eating away like a slow little acid burn. "I know." he said, because he did, and that was clear in his tone, his expression. "I know that you didn't mean anything, didn't consider that." he filled in for her. He shifted a little, and kissed the back of her hand that he held. "And I know that you've generally gone that route because people suck. I just..." he'd wanted her to know. And he didn't want things to get ruined with her and people she was likely to be dealing with now, by just not thinking about how something came off. Especially when before? It would have come off fine, it just didn't hold up so well when you were dealing with people who had actually been in situations where violence was the only option, and a whole lot of blood got spilled.

Nic wasn't really doing much to help her own headspace as she laid there with her eyes squeezed shut. She felt like an idiot, even moreso with how she was acting in the moment, like she was some pouty little girl that needed consoling. It was a kneejerk reaction to realizing how much she'd inadvertently been screwing up, but it was still there. "How much have I fucked up with people? That you know about?" she eventually asked, figuring in this case 'people' would mean Dean and Caleb himself, but she still wanted to know. She remembered very clearly how much bluster she'd been throwing around the day she met Dean, and the sudden sinking feeling in her gut was the realization that maybe it hadn't gone so well after all. But she wasn't confessing those fears as she reached her free hand past the edge of the bed and onto the floor, bypassing her ashtray and instead grabbing a loose pen.

He didn't like seeing it, but figured it was going to happen. "It's less that you fucked up, and more that you just need to tone things down a little." Caleb said to her honestly. "Just less with the really heavy aggression mode all the time. I know you're not like that all the time. I know that there's another side of you, and that most people don't actually see that. Mostly you just...your first reaction is to say something about being violent to people, or otherwise, that's your default setting. I guess..." he paused for a moment, then continued. "You've seen a tiny bit of what I'm capable of. And you know that I don't pick random fights. That I don't really instigate anything. I guess just know now you're dealing with people who violence is something that actually means something, and it's really not something you blow off. It's this shit needs to happen or someone's not going to make it. It's...the end of the line."

As he spoke, she'd brought the pen up to the underside of her claimed hand, drawing a steady line back and forth on her wrist to streak a bit of ink there while Nic mused on what Caleb said. She knew how she reacted to people, but it came back to the fact that her reactions were wrong when it involved people like Caleb or Dean. And more often lately, she was finding out just how many people there were like that. So... he was right, it had to be dialed down, but that spooked Nic a little. Her remaining option was exposing herself, and that just wasn't something she was comfortable with very often. "I think I probably need to tone things down a lot," she amended, dropping the pen once the line was in place, "Just... that's kinda freaky for me. I mean, I'm already trying? I was serious when I said I hadn't gotten busted for a fight in weeks and all? But I can't be content with trying, I think. There's a lot that probably needs to change if I'm going to be any good at this."

"So give yourself time to do it. It's not like anything has to happen overnight." Caleb reminded her in a gentle sort of manner, one that didn't come out that often with him, but sometimes it was called for. "keep it in mind and go from there. I know you're already trying. Don't push yourself too hard on it though, I know how hard it is to try and actually alter a natural reaction for yourself. I have to get over knee-jerk reactions all the time, and I'm pretty sure we can both safely say I'm not any good at it." He shrugged one shoulder. "But I keep trying, I guess."

"I think if anything happened overnight, it'd be kinda obvious I was faking it," Nic pointed out with a weak humor in her voice, "And I might just have to bite a little of your style, say a whole lot less to people at school. It'd probably be a good way to wear down the reflex." Though she'd be tempted to pipe up with a threat very often, Nic already knew. It'd be easier if so many people they went to school with didn't deserve it, for starters. "Maybe I'll just test for my G.E.D. or something," she mused halfheartedly, knowing her mom would never allow it. And even if Caleb's gentle tone was helping? She was still tense over it, still figuring this might keep her awake and thinking on things until it was time to go to school.

"Speaking less does keep me out of a lot of trouble." Caleb admitted. "Not all the time, but sometimes." Then he made a little face at her. "If I'm stuck going to that ridiculous hell hole every day you have to too." he told her, and he leaned closer to kiss her cheek. He stayed close when he drew back, though. "I don't want you to edit around me though. Can I ask that? Even if sometimes you step on something...I just..." He didn't want her to start that. He liked that there was a mostly honest thing going on between them. Sure, he still had to tell her his own shit, but he was honest about having it.

Somehow, he just knew how to make her smile. Which definitely fell into that overly-girlish realm Nic worried about, but she couldn't help it. Something about him asking her not to filter herself was infinitely reassuring. With little supportive reminders like that, Nic didn't think she'd need an overnight fix. She could endure; not for Caleb, but in some capacity because of him. "You can ask," she assured him as she tamped down the smile a bit, "And I'll try. Might start using my other wrist, too, but I won't water myself down. I don't know what you'd do, suffering through every day and me halfassing some sugar and sunshine."

"I'd think you were replaced by a pod person, or have to start inspecting for where the parasite entered in." Caleb told her, smirking at her. "Which, while possibly entertaining, at least on that last bit, might be a little old, and we'd have less fun. Plus I don't know what I'd do if you stopped hitting me. I like getting a rise out of you." he told her. Which was the truth. "But yeah, don't edit. If I wasn't cool with you as is, I wouldn't still be around." And yeah, he could deal with her making him twitch less on that score, but her? Just who she was? he liked her. She was worth his time, in all kinds of ways.

"I..." Nic trailed for an awkward moment, sighing at herself. Why was it so hard? She knew he had some degree of feelings for her, enough to want to tell her the truth before they got to any real serious point. But it was still tough to admit, even in private. Still, that was something to work towards, just like everything else. So she leaned in, bumping her forehead against Caleb's lightly and snapping her teeth like she might've tried to bite him. "I'm glad you're still around," Nic finally managed, "And not just because you like winding me up. Weird-ass."

He laughed quietly at that, then reached up to turn her face towards his. He knew--lines, not crossing things, dialing things back, all that. Good justifications for it all and everything, but he wanted to kiss her. And properly kiss her, too, not just the little ones he'd given her already tonight. So he did. He indulged. He just happened to keep it light. Soft, even if it was in depth, and there was a fire behind it. Then he'd probably...go sit by the window again. Or something.

With that slow burn he was putting into things, Nic had absolutely no intention of letting Caleb go sit by the window, or even move from where he was. Really, it was his fault. If there were supposed to be lines, Caleb needed to stop crossing them, or at least agree that they could fade away now and then. She was hoping he would as Nic reached behind Caleb's head, fingers winding through his hair to hold him in place as she kissed him back, shifting closer to his lean against the bed and stretching her legs out.

Yeah he was very definitely not good at remembering the line thing when there was blurring going on. And at the moment he also couldn't be bothered to care, so he kissed her back, and just...gave himself that for a few long minutes, catching small breaths where he could, but not really prepared to draw back yet. He counted his not climbing up onto the bed his 'behaving' at this juncture. Even if really, he wanted to. They'd crossed fairly close before, right? Sure they had. In his room, he remembered.

They had an unspoken agreement about what qualified as behaving right now, at least. And to some degree, it was safe to assume that wouldn't happen. After what they'd just talked about, Nic wasn't feeling the urge to tear into him like their past encounters, or to let him trap her and bruise her. She just wanted this, the feel of him in close, the rhythm of his breathing. And granted, it could probably go farther if they weren't careful, but Nic wasn't scared of the possibility. When she finally broke away, it wasn't far, and her hand didn't move from the back of Caleb's head. "How late can you stay?" she murmured, sucking her lower lip between her teeth to capture the taste of him again.

He gave himself a second to catch his own breath, and brushed another kiss over her lips before he spoke. "I live with my older brothers. I don't exactly have a curfew." he told her. Which he didn't, really. There was kind of just an unspoken if he came home at some point, all was well. Or at least let people know he was fine. He hadn't been talked to before about that, not since way back before Math had hit town. Things had changed a lot since then.

"Then... stay?" Nic asked quietly, a hopeful lift raising her brow as she brushed her fingers over the curve of Caleb's ear, "I can scoot back right now if I have to, or if I just should, but I'd like it if you did." Of course, if she did move back, she'd need something for them to do or they'd end up toeing the lines again. And as much as Nic liked that idea, she didn't like thinking she'd ruin things with her own wants. "We could sneak into the living room, watch a movie, eat some cereal. Y'know, pretend we're ten and waiting for cartoons to start or something," she teased, pulling back a touch to back up her offer of space between them.

He eyed her, and the space, and the idea that maybe she wouldn't make room, and...he figured he was in trouble and this was likely a bad idea. And yet, it didn't enter into his mind not to stay. Shifting, he stood, leaning one hand down on the bed next to her, and he looked down at her. He didn't say anything for a long moment, then flashed a grin at her. "You know this is a bad plan, right?" he asked. Just so they were both on the same page, anyways.

Nic did exactly as she'd promised, sliding along the bed a bit to make room for him. Not much room, but she could move more if it was needed. "You expect good plans from me?" she asked, propping an elbow down under herself and smirking up at him, "You do remember my terrible decision to drunkenly skateboard into you and stop with my face, right?" She laughed quietly, looking down at Caleb's hand on the bed, then back to his eyes as a gleam flashed in her own.

He smiled again, a purely untrustworthy sort of expression, and he got onto the bed with her, stretching out along side her. "I do recall that." he agreed, reaching up to rub at the back of his head which had been gushing blood due to that. "I didn't walk away unscathed and everything. So, I suppose, with that in mind, you are absolved from being expected to come up with any good plans. So if you make bad judgment calls, and we know I make shit decisions too...where does that leave us?" he asked, reaching out to rest his hand along her ribs.

"Fucked?" Nic suggested with a crooked grin of her own, "But not in the literal sense. You couldn't handle it, and I'm not up to explaining that to your brothers." She winked to cover her own nerves over the very idea, thankful for the boundaries on that score at least. Still, she looked down at his hand at her side, huffing a small breath out as Nic fought the urge to slip it past the hem, to feel his touch on her skin. "But I'd rather be in the middle of a bad idea than bored and awake by myself," she asserted, "And like you said? Nothing changes overnight, so I doubt this is the last time one of us makes a rough call." Of course, the rough call here was that they were supposed to hold back, and then she'd asked him to get closer.

Caleb was kind of a fan of the literal sense, but didn't say anything about it. As much as he was teasing, and all, he still recalled the whole not going there for a reason thing. Which was why he didn't go with his own urges, which really matched up with hers on the wanting to feel her skin thing. He propped his head on his hand, and kept his eyes on her. "So you've got my undivided attention, I'm apparently here to entertain you...what now?"

"You could massage my feet," she teased, swinging a leg up to rest her calf across his thigh, "Except I'm ticklish? And I'd feel bad if I kicked you in the face without you deserving it." And she hoped it hadn't been a mistake to even say as much. Caleb hopefully wasn't the type to use that information against her, though Nic figured he was. "Technically, you're just here to keep me company. Normally the host does the entertaining." Which wasn't her strong suit, sadly. She could swear up a blue streak for him, but there wasn't much staying power in that.

He glanced down at her leg, and then slid his hand down her side to rest there instead. "I wouldn't like getting kicked in the face. I like when you punch my shoulder but that's a little different." he told her, eyes making a kind of slow progression back to hers. "And alright, if you're doing the entertaining, what are you going to do to keep me entertained?" he asked, flashing that untrustworthy grin again. It contrasted with his rather innocent tone.

Nic was pinning the blame on herself here, and it was probably a rare opinion to have? But in her mind, Caleb was innocent for once, despite his smile. "I could... teach you the basic kickboxing stance? Or tell you how to tighten your heat shield in your car? It'd get rid of that fucking rattling sound it makes. I could rub your feet." She was willing to do any of those, but not without giving voice to the worst part of what they agreed was a bad plan. "First? I just need to ask. You, um, you remember that first night? When I told you that you didn't have to curb your reflexes?" she asked hesitantly, rubbing her leg against both Caleb's own and his hand, "Is that a two-way street?"

He absently brushed his thumb back and forth, watching her eyes. "You want permission not to have to curb yours?" he asked her, wondering if he was getting that right, or misinterpreting. With the current track his mind had hit, he wasn't entirely sure he trusted his own judgment there, so he needed the clarification. "If that's the case...don't curb."

"I've been doing that," she admitted, her leg hooking over his with a bit of strength as Caleb answered. Even knowing that the attraction was there, and having had chances to seize the opportunity? Even having been the one to start things between them, she still had a knot of nerves low in her stomach. "I guess it's permission, yeah," Nic went on, sucking in a steadying breath before quite abruptly just swinging her leg over Caleb entirely. She pushed at one of his shoulders, leveraging herself up onto him with a self-conscious grin that showed her flashing feeling of triumph. "So..." she murmured, looking down at him, "Are you entertained? Or should we do car talk instead?"

Caleb let himself be pushed back, and shifted a little to get more comfortable, but he could safely say he was in fact, entertained. Gazing up at her, he settled his hands on her thighs, not doing any more than that, just keeping his eyes locked to hers. There was a smile there, and he had to wonder just what she had been holding back. He was happy to find out. "I'm entertained." he told her. "Or, you have my attention, anyways." He was pretty sure if they were going to talk about anything that wasn't focused on her, or her position, things of that nature, he was going to need to be dumped out her window to spend time in the snowbank first.

Nic laughed somewhat self-consciously, pressing her hands down into Caleb's chest to shove him into the bed pointlessly, bouncing both of them a touch. "I'd better have your attention, asshole," she chided as she leaned into the press on his chest, lowering down a bit, "You think it's easy for me to even try this?" She wasn't looking to push things, but it was comfortable, and Nic never thought she'd complain about getting a little dominance. "It's my first time on top," she went on in a lower voice, settling against Caleb and running her hands from his chest to his sides, "Don't let me fall."

Caleb still wasn't entirely certain what it was she had in mind here, but wasn't about to stop her. Instead he just took a moment to appreciate the view, and he smiled. "I won't." he promised. He could have made a crack or two, but didn't. Not with that light little admission of nerves or whatever. So he just gave her reassurance instead.

If he'd asked, Nic wouldn't have even been able to say what she had in mind. She wasn't thinking of pressing things, not with how tense the last time had been between them or how tonight had already gone. She just wanted to be close, and he'd climbed up onto her bed. "And you can tell me to back the fuck off whenever," she added in a low murmur aimed at Caleb's ear before she nipped lightly at his neck, near the same spot where he'd bruised her, "Kinda thinking I always wanted to plant a flag myself, though."

Because he would actually at any point tell her to back off. Right. That was going to happen. He gave her leg a squeeze with one hand, and smiled, head turning a little towards hers when she went and murmurred in his ear. He tended to like that. He also liked the nip at his neck. "Do you." he said. "Planning on doing that then?" he asked. His tone was light but interested. Really? He wouldn't complain. In fact, he was just maybe a little enamored with the idea.

Nic didn't exactly answer, instead taking a page from Caleb's own book. He liked to tease, to build up an almost-dread that was more akin to anticipation, and she wondered if he could take it as well as he dished it out. She just laughed softly, a low and throaty sound that spilled into his ear as she nuzzled the lobe. One hand drifted down his side to the edge of his sweatshirt, nails traversing just a hint of skin beneath as Nic braced herself. She knew he didn't like his scars, but Caleb had been okay with her feeling them before, so maybe it was just seeing them that was the issue. And if not? Well, it'd probably be good for him to break away from her, even if she'd be frustrated enough to hit someone. Or if it was a problem? She could just distract him. Nic dipped down to his neck again, smiling against Caleb's skin as she pressed her nails in firmly just above his hip and bit down hard, her tongue painting the held patch of his neck.

He tensed, because yeah, his scars were a bit of a twitchpoint with him, and while he was often times alright with it, occasionally it still happened. he was comfortable with her, and liked when she did that. It still kicked up the tension. What he didn't do was stop her. He tilted his head to the side, giving her the access she wanted. And then there were nails, and teeth, all at once, and he drew in a sharp, hitched breath, jaw clenching as he dealt with the sparks of pain she was bringing out. He made a quiet sound, but one that expressed appreciation.

She purred low in her throat, pleased by the little reactions Caleb was giving as Nic's jaw worked slowly, drawing out the bite. Her other hand ran up across his chest and around, drifting over his cheek to brush through Caleb's hair and knot tight there. Nic still didn't plan on escalating things, but sometimes enjoyment just... ruined any plans. So it was more of an instinct than a conscious effort that made her roll her hips atop him as she bit just slightly harder and finally released, bringing her nails back up over his clothing with another low chuckle. "There," she murmured, idly curling his hair around a finger, "Now we're even."

When she pushed against him, it was really difficult not to go with the natural instinct of pushing back. He managed, but felt frustrated for it. But then again, she was deliberately winding him up, so there was bound to be frustration somewhere in the mix. His first thought to what she said was also something he didn't let her know about, considering it was 'are we?' He still considered her one step ahead, with what had gone on in his room. Buuuut he just yeah. Wasn't saying so. Even if he thought it. "Feel better?" he asked, once he pushed frustration back enough that he was pretty sure he'd sound normal. And hey--he gave himself points, he did.

"A little," Nic answered teasingly, her knees squeezing at Caleb's waist as she made no move to hop off his lap. "I think if I wanted to level out, we'd need a lot more time and a lot less lines," she went on with a smirk that was edged in faint frustration. I'm not going to push. I'm not going to push. It was a mantra she needed to cling to right now, or else she'd just start touching him, scars be damned. Sighing, Nic moved to lay right on top of Caleb, savoring the warmth and the low feel of his heartbeat underneath her as she moved in to nuzzle at his neck, watching the slow blush of skin on his neck. "I should probably move, hey?" she murmured, hoping that was a question he wouldn't agree with.

"I think you're fine right where you are." Caleb told her, taking to tracing little lines back and forth along her thigh on the left side. "It's not that big a bed...and if you're comfortable here..." he said, knowing he was just making it worse for himself, but whatever. He couldn't help it. He didn't want her to move, so he wasn't about to encourage her to do that. He had trouble sort of discerning between the best thing and the thing that felt best. Or, it was less he didn't know the difference and more he didn't care.

As much as Nic loved to hear that answer, the obvious problem was that it opened the floodgates for more questions she knew she shouldn't ask, or even think. Dimly, she was realizing that she was at fault for their problems, that all of the rational and discussion they had in calmer moments just didn't matter when this sort of thing happened. And she would be the one to blame when things went too far, when everything fell apart. BUt those thoughts were dim indeed, barely registering at all as Nic smiled, blowing a soft puff of air against the bite on Caleb's neck. "I'm definitely comfortable, I just need to figure out how to stop thinking," Nic murmured, "Because I just realized that technically? I owe you another one."

He was vaguely surprised, since that had been going through his mind, and really? While he didn't think she'd forgotten about it or anything, he hadn't thought she would consider that at all. So it was strange, but there, he supposed. "Are we keeping score now?" he asked, instead of either telling her one way or another his opinion on whether she owed him anything else or not. She could be talking about something else entirely, after all.

"I am female," she reminded him teasingly as the hand she'd been scratching with trailed lower, lingering at the waist of his jeans, "We're always keeping score, Caleb. Group bathroom trips? That's when we balance the books." She chuckled low in her throat just to hide her own anxiety over moving into new and definitely dangerous territory. Did he want this? Was she pushing whatever they had right over the edge? "And me, well... I don't like being in anyone's debt," Nic added, brushing the catch of his jeans.

"And when have you been on a group bathroom trip in your life?" Caleb asked, mind rebelling at even picturing Nic gossiping furiously with a group of chicks in a could of hairspray and makeup, hovered around the mirrors. He also had a decision to make, because really, he wanted whatever it was she had in mind for him, and yet kind of didn't like the idea that she was only going to do it to balance the books so to speak. Plus her mother was home. And while he'd made a good impression on the woman so far, somehow he didn't think that would add into the mix if she came in and caught them...doing whatever. He mustered up as much willpower and better nature that he had, and reached down to clasp her fingers lightly. "I'm not keeping score." he told her, watching her eyes. And sure, he was aware, but he wasn't necessarily holding it against her.

She laughed first, cheeks coloring as Caleb discarded her claim entirely. "Okay, I'm caught," she confessed with a shake of her head, "That was entirely bullshit, you should be a detective." Her stomach knotted as Caleb's hand closed around hers, breath catching in her throat at what felt like a flat-out denial. But if it was? He would've been moving to get clear of this. And with all they'd talked about concerning her progress, the best example of it Nic could see was the urge to fight her own reflexes, to have a little faith. "I'm not keeping score either," she murmured a moment later, leaning under his chin to kiss the hollow of Caleb's throat, "I just... I start touching you and I don't want to stop."

That was a much better reason for things in his opinion. Much more like he was wanted, and less like it was just evening out the playing field. And sure, with some people in his life, in the past, it being about doing that was a perfectly acceptable course of action, but with Nic... He wanted it to be different. Really that was just it. He wanted it to be different. He wanted it to be something that she wasn't going to regret ten minutes after it happened. There was the nerves thing to think about. There was a lot to think about, even if the thinking process wanted to happily shut the fuck down. He drew in a breath, and let it out slowly. "I don't want you to stop either. I don't want to stop at all. But..." Well her mother was home. And there were the lines. How far did they really want to blur them? And if they started, would there be stopping? And if they did stop just how bad was that going to make things? Because things could always get worse. The inner doomsayer that lived beneath his skin said that with no hesitation.

He didn't even need to finish, Nic knew where that train of thought went. And she was grateful that he'd been strong enough (again) to be the one to stop things from crashing. She felt a sting inside from the idea that continuing now would be the worst kind of selfishness, even if she wanted to, and Nic sighed near-silently. She pressed another kiss on his throat briefly, moving up to find Caleb's lips in a slow, soft moment. "It's okay," she said when she finally withdrew, smoothing a hand over his hair again, "You're right, even if you didn't finish the thought." Nic smiled fleetingly, biting her lip to fight off the insecure feeling that she knew was wrong but couldn't help. "When it happens? When anything happens, I don't want us to doubt it. I'll just need reminders along the way," she explained softly, finally moving her other hand from his waist.

And, like she couldn't help the insecure feeling, he couldn't help but have to fight back that slice of disappointment. Because as much as he was in fact, trying to do things right here, and for very fucking good reasons, that didn't mean he didn't pretty desperately want her. Or any approximation thereof. Nowish would be a bad time to say, roll her over and kiss her like he wanted to just then. Say fuck it and just do what he knew they both wanted. Yeah, he just...needed to not think like that. When she kissed him, he kissed her back. You need reminders...think I could get help with reminders now and then? he thought but didn't say. Okay so he had to be the strong one here. ...he wasn't very good at that, but he'd try. "I'll give it a shot." he told her. "I don't want to have doubt either." Sure.

"We're going to have them no matter what," Nic admitted with a slight frown, "Or I will, at least. But... you told me before. The night the werewolves came? Rushing into things is a recipe for disaster, so I'm going to try to hang onto that idea. Even if I get pissed off at everything, I'll just take as much time as I can. Do this shit right." She started sliding off his lap with that, moving to return to where she'd been on the bed in a small show of belief in her own words. "Blow your fucking mind when it happens, Lockwood," she promised with a smirk that said Nic doubted that bit. Her mind? Definitely. His? Possibly, but she wouldn't be surprised if that was a learning process like everything else.

He was more certain she would have doubts rather than himself, but still. "That the plan?" he asked. "Blowing my mind? I'll have to prepare for that then." he told her. What he didn't say was that he had been sexually active before. Which actually, he vaguely wondered if she did wonder about. Had they talked about it in detail? Or...vague detail anyways. He wasn't handing out stories, like had the once with Leija...even if that had had a rather interesting reaction. He knew she'd messed around before, but not gone all that far. Then he was wondering if that was going to bother her or not, and figured it just meant that not bringing it up was a plan.

Really, Nic would have to be kidding herself to think Caleb hadn't gotten laid by now. He was a guy, after all, and definitively not gay. She didn't dwell on it deeply or often, but at some point she'd figured that one of his exes, hooked by the same intensity that had drawn her in, had found a way around the boy's issues with his own skin. "You do that," she murmured, stifling a yawn and stretching on the mattress, "Get good and drunk so we're equally clumsy, maybe." She didn't want to ink herself in front of him tonight, so Nic kept the mental image of herself falling off of both him and the bed to herself with a smirk. "I'll pay for a month of Cinemax so I can study, too," Nic joked, nudging Caleb with a knee.

"Not much of a drinker." Caleb said. Really he wasn't much of a substance user, period. His mind tended to drop down into dark places at the best of times, it wasn't like he really wanted to encourage more of that. He didn't like not being in control. It was a feeling he wanted to avoid at all costs, so...yeah. Drinking and he weren't good pals, and anything other than that, it was the same thing. "How about you just don't overthink shit, and just go with what feels right at the time?" he suggested. Which was much more how he ran on things. He didn't overthink, he just sort of acted and went with whatever was working at the time. Not overly awesome to admit, he guessed, but he hadn't got complaints as of yet.

Nodding slightly at the advice, Nic's lips parted like she was about to speak at any moment, giving nothing but silence for a moment. "So..." she murmured eventually, scooting a little lower to hold his gaze, "I was going to ask you to help me not overthink? But I think I'd rather ask if..." She trailed off again, frowning with a faint line creasing her brow. "Am I putting too much on you here? I mean, we're still in that weird Limbo place? And I'm asking you to keep me in check? Is that shitty of me?"

Well, weren't they just hitting subjects tonight a ton that weren't that comfortable to talk about? He wasn't sure what to say to her, even if he knew he needed to answer. He glanced away for a few moments, trying to figure out exactly how to word it. He didn't really want to give her a blow off answer of 'no it's fine! Really!' when it kind of wasn't. "I don't really know where you get the idea that I'm completely trustworthy, or that I've got endless willpower." he said, tone not at all harsh. "Because it's not the case. And I guess...it's not necessarily shitty of you to lay that on me entirely? But it'd be nice if it wasn't actually just all on me. That's...well. It's a lot of pressure to just say 'hey, I want you, but I'm going to expect you to lay the brakes down every time even though I know you want me too'."

Her expression made it clear that Nic wasn't taking this wrong, that she'd asked because she wanted to know if this was the case. So she nodded slowly again, the thought process plain in her eyes before she spoke. "I didn't think it was endless, just... at first? You were pretty good about holding back, bite marks aside," Nic began with a brief wink, "And it's not a trust thing, or it is... but not like you mean. It's like, I know you're more experienced than I am, and I don't think you want this to go fucko. I didn't expect you to do all the work, but I thought you'd be better at dodging the obvious trip ups like moving too fast." And they were both trying to avoid that one, Nic knew, it was just hard in moments like these.

"I'm trying," she eventually continued, "And if I need to try harder? I will. Because you know I like hanging out with you, but jesus, Caleb. This shit is hard. It's not like I can read a book like the witchcraft shit and figure this out." Nic huffed in a small show of frustrating, hands curling into loose fists to bump at his chest. "But I don't want you thinking you need to hold me up entirely, either, or to even feel like you have to. I got by before you showed up, even if I was a bitch. Doing this fairly? Hell, I might be a bitch again, so bear with me. And..." she smirked, punching his chest a little more firmly, "Get the fuck off my bed, Lockwood." And as much as her expression was joking? it was a small effort at backing up what she'd just said.

He winced faintly, though it was for show as she hit him. "Hey. No need to be abusive about it..." he said, sighing as he did as she asked, and dropped off the end of the bed. He crossed his arms on it, keeping his eyes on her. He looked amused, and shared his thoughts on the matter a few moments later. "You're missing out one important logical step you know." he told her. "Considering I am more experienced than you?" he said, flashing an impish grin. "I know what I'm missing, so that might actually make it worse for me." he pointed out.

She laughed quietly at that, turning into her pillow to muffle the sound as Nic raised a hand to flip Caleb off. It was a confirmation of her thoughts, he'd tried the things she wanted to, and if what they'd done was any hint? The wait would be worth it if they got there. "That logic doesn't work, y'know," she eventually shot back, looking back to him with a smirk, "Just because you opened one or two Christmas presents and saw what was inside, that doesn't mean you know what's under all the wrapping. Think on that. Think on it and suffer with me."

"I never said that I knew everything there was to know. I said that I know what I'm missing. So if you really want to talk about suffering, save a little of that pity you have for yourself for me. You don't have to give me shit to think about to make shit worse on me, you know. It's already there. You probably would have noticed if you weren't busy asking me to give you an excuse...amongst other things...."

Sitting up and snorting a quiet laugh at him, Nic dug under her pillow for a pack of cigarettes and lit up, taking a drag before she started miming writing with the cigarette. "Save pity for Caleb, check," she murmured as she pretended to take a note, "Get more perceptive about his weird taste in chicks, check. Anything else?" Nic leaned forward, resting on her knees as she watched him. "Maybe 'stop being a smartass'? God, this is turning into a list my mom would write."

"I like you being a smartass." Caleb told her. "So nix that one. If you stopped doing that I'd have to wonder what alien came in and replaced you, then I'd have to start getting more paranoid than usual, and I'm pretty much already up to psychosis levels, so let's not go there. But no, if you're writing out notes to self and all, I don't have anything special to add." At least, nothing he could say out loud, particularly after the conversation they'd just had and the fact that she'd kicked him off of the bed. Which he kind of wanted to test to see just how serious she was about that, but knew it wasn't the time to push.

"Well you're no help," she chided half-heartedly, tucking her smoke in the corner of her mouth and leaning over towards Caleb, "So make yourself useful? Tell me when you feel like hanging out next. Or don't and I'll call you with random bullshit again sometime soon." It was a promise on Nic's part; even if they had to work harder at the separation that was supposed to be there, she didn't want to do so by avoiding Caleb entirely. "Get Dean to hang out, too. That'll be less weird, yeah? Keep us in line?"

"Possibly." Caleb said. It would, he knew. He just didn't know about the being less weird part. Plus, he liked getting alone time with her, and so he didn't want to nix that out entirely. It would feel strange. Off, really. He didn't especially want to do that. "I'll try. See what he's going on." Mostly he knew it was mildly strange because he and Dean didn't hang out that much. And there was the Lullaby situation. "And I don't know. Whenever you want?" he suggested on when they could hang out next.

Was that a test of everything they'd just discussed? It would be on her to decide when they saw each other, if others were there, and if they'd behave themselves when it happened. Nic wanted to think she could do it, but if he was in close and eyeing her like he was dying to bite her, could she? Gotta try, she told herself. It was just... frustrating. They both knew that. "Soon, then," Nic told him, committing herself to the trial of her own patience. "I've got work and kickboxing and shit, but we really need to work on your car. That heap's not gonna make it through the winter as it is right now."

He quirked a half smile at that. "You're right about that." he agreed. It wouldn't. But then again, it had actually lasted him longer than he'd thought it would in the first place. Especially after it ran over a werewolf. Twice. "So does that mean you're going to be showing up in my garage sometime soon?" he asked. And he tried not to think about another encounter he had in there.

"That, or you could let me drive it over to the shop I'm working at," Nic suggested, "I don't think Ash would care if I pulled it in, and I could probably work off the cost of parts." That would be the fastest way, and the most legal too. She'd considered stealing more parts from the school's autoshop or around town, but getting Caleb a bumper had been eventful enough for Nic to ditch that idea. "Of course, you'd be without a car for a few days."

Caleb winced faintly, making a light face at her. "Something just doesn't seem right about my--" he paused for a moment. He'd been going to say 'girlfriend'. It was just kind of the natural thing to say there, to fill in that blank--but they weren't, were they? She wasn't his girlfriend. She was his friend. They just happened to be all over each other whenever they could be. she just wandered around with a claim mark on her neck. Right. "...friend fixing my car and 'working off' the parts required." he finished after his pause.

"Dude?" Nic scoffed as she saw the look on Caleb's face, shaking her head at his concern, "It's not like I'm turning tricks or dealing crack or something. I'll ask for an extra shift or two, do oil changes for Ash since he hates that shit. Pay me back when you've got the scratch handy, it's not like I don't like working on cars." Which was a convenient mess of words to cover her anxiety over his pause. Had he been thinking of what to call her there? "I mean, either way I'll have to get parts from Ash. So, y'know... your call."

"Let me think about it." he said. He'd agreed to let her mess around with his car, but that was sort of before there was things like payment in the equation. Mostly before it had been whatever she wanted to do with her free time, but this felt different to him. so...he was going to have to consider. He didn't like owing people shit. It bothered him, on some probably deep, lame psychological level. But that didn't curb the twitch, obviously. So, he was going to have to figure something out. Hell even if he got most of it, if she just wanted to put in the work, maybe, but he couldn't justify to himself letting her do all of that. It didn't track for him.

"Okay," Nic lied easily as she ground out her cigarette, leaned to one side of Caleb and over, then tucked her ashtray away again. His car had saved her life, his life, who knew how many others? Nic wasn't about to let the coming months of snow, cold, and road-salt exposure wear it down or kill it. Her mother always watched for her to skip on Wednesdays, so maybe if she bailed on a different day she could sneak work in on it without Caleb being any wiser. Unless he's driving to school, retard, she chided silently. "Just don't take too long. Cars are like bodies, dude. It's all about preventing catastrophe instead of trying to recover from one."

Caleb smirked faintly at that. "...you're talking to the guy who's arm you had to hold shut just because I was showing you what I could do." he reminded her. "I'm always recovering from catastrophes. Prevention isn't really part of my repertoire." At all. It wasn't in his nature, either, really. He was much more a person who tried to get people clear of things while he dealt with it head on. And head on usually involved injury of some description.

"Well, I'm a chain smoker who skates drunk and learns kickboxing from a guy who uses slaps in the face as learning aids," Nic argued, knowing it didn't quite measure up but wanting to shoot back at him. "So I'm not real preventative either. Seriously, I probably take better care of cars than myself, so at least let me work a little magic there." Really, she just thought that something in his life needed to not be falling apart. He used magic that could kill him, she was a mental mess, his brothers were such a strange unknown that Nic didn't think they could count as a positive based on Caleb himself. Even Dean apparently had seen some shit. The least that Caleb deserved was a car that wouldn't constantly be facing death.

He eyed her for a few moments, trying to assess things. "You really want to do this?" he asked. Because if she really wanted to--which was the impression he was getting--he might be more inclined to let her. He'd still feel weird about it and would have to try and figure out a way to get cash flow going to help, but if it was termed for him that way it was slightly less twitch-worthy.

Nic smiled just at the question, the hint implied within it that he was considering the offer. She sat forward to get a little closer, eyes fixed on Caleb's as she reached out to muss his hair. "I like your car," she reminded him, "Of course I want to. Remember? Road trip? That thing's not gonna make it to Mexico in January at this rate." Of course Nic could've gotten closer, but somehow she thought that managing to hold back might lend her words a little more signifigance. "I just... I want to do something for you. And it's not a repayment thing? I love chilling, listening to you vent and trying to help make sense? But this, I can do. So... let me."

Caleb opened his mouth to say something, then shut it again, considering. When she put it like that... He exhaled, and reached up to right his hair again--as right as it ever got, anyways--and he watched her eyes. "Fine." he told her, smiling just the faintest bit. He didn't want it to be a repayment thing, because he didn't think he was owed. But she was making it sound like it meant something different to her. So, if that was the case, he was more alright with it.

She returned the meager smile, something glinting in her eyes when Nic did. "Thanks for your permission, tool," she teased in a soft voice, internally thrilling with a feeling of triumph. "Think you'd miss it this weekend? I can call the shop tomorrow and see if it's cool. If it is, I could probably be done by like, Monday or so. Unless someone took out your engine and took a big shit where it's supposed to be," she speculated with a hint of an increase in the smile. It might mean sacrificing her weekend to work on the car, but she had a feeling that it'd be an accomplishment she could relish.

"I don't live that far from school, and I'm not exactly the biggest social presence aruond, so yeah, I'm sure I could spare it this weekend." he said. "Longer, if that's what it takes, engine-switching aside." He was kind of getting the urge to tug her closer again to kiss her, but curbed the urge. Though part of doing that was sitting back from the bed, stopping leaning on it with his arms there. It was too easy to otherwise just reach out.

"Well, if you wake up Saturday and it's gone, that's me," Nic warned him, "Leave the keys. Cracking a steering column is easy, fixing one is a pain in the asshole." The urge was mutual, though since the first time she'd done it, it hadn't ever really faded for Nic. It was just a low itch in her mind she was trying to ignore, like holidays back in Wisconsin when she'd been forbidden to smoke around her aunt and extended 'family'. Thankfully her mother had never tried too hard to make the trip since moving to Marquette.

"Any other demands?" Caleb asked, arching a brow. He could think of some, but again, he was trying to be good. Which had him sitting farther back, actually making a move to sit back against the wall, well out of reach. He...basically really sucked at the whole not having the mentality that lent to things of that nature thing. He didn't know where it came from, but wished he could edit that bit of himself. At least for the time being.

She watched him edge subtly away, deciding it was a good call even if she didn't like it. Because Nic could think of some demands, no doubt about it. "Just clear out anything incriminating," she told him, "No crack pipes or gay porn. Or, more seriously, knives or anything my boss might say 'what the fuck' over." Even if Ash knew that she was clued into the weird side of things, Nic didn't know how the angel she worked for would take someone like Caleb. "Leave the rest to me and brush up on your Spanish."

Caleb actually had to think for a second about things, wondering if there was anything in the car that might be considered untoward. But he didn't think there was anything. Mostly because he didn't have a lot in there to begin with, and any weapons were always on his person, not kept in the car. "Yes ma'am." he said, smirking at her and knocking off a little playful salute. He was thinking he should take off before he got back into the frame of mind that suggested getting closer would be fine, really.

While Nic didn't want Caleb to leave, it was just getting later and later. And the slow return of fatigue to her brain wouldn't make her argue against him cuddling back up very strongly, she knew. Something about the idea of having someone to curl against while she slept just sounded wonderful, but just as when Caleb had said she couldn't resist teasing him? Nic was determined to show she could live up to her own claims. In this case, it was two-fold; toning down her aggression somewhat and remembering where the limits on them needed to be. She wasn't his girlfriend or anything. "Dunno if it'll leave me much time to hang, though," she teased, stretching languidly, "Which sucks, since you're just about out for tonight, and there's nowhere to pop a quarter for more." Nic grinned wickedly from the bed, willing to push Caleb's control a little before she kicked him out.

He looked at her for a long moment, and pushed back all the urges that kicked up. Which he found a bit unfair, considering he'd just told her that it wasn't really fair to lay shit on him, especially since she was deliberately pushing. But, as with most things with him? He was actually far better at it than he gave himself credit for. So he didn't give in even if he at the moment would have liked to, just to teach her a little bit of a lesson there. That didn't seem like something he should even start and he blamed the urge at all on his demonic streak. He did push himself to his feet though, and leaned back against the window sill, eyes on her. It took him a minute to come up with something to say, as a whole host of things of varying degrees of cynical and playful came to mind and he rejected all of them. The girl did strange things to him, that was for sure. "Didn't know I was automated." he said. And he kept the comment about her just needing to get some new batteries to himself.

Nic smirked as she swung her feet off the bed and stood, moving over towards him. Behave, she chanted silently as she headed over towards Caleb. "I'm sure you've got 'made In China' tattooed on the bottom of your foot or something," she asserted as she drew closer, "And if you don't mind me being kinda nasty? I'll call on the weekend anyway, you can share the smell of motor oil with me." Nic had to remind herself to behave as she reached her arms out, planting her hands on the wall to each side of him. "No touchy," she murmured at him, leaning in to bump her head against his chest for a moment, lingering far more briefly than she wanted and pushing off. "Now go on Lockwood, it's past your bedtime."

Again, the urge to dole out payback for all the commentary, all the hits to his psyche, everything else was strong. He could do it, it would be easy, and he was pretty sure she wouldn't actually stop him, either. He set his jaw and exhaled quietly to bite it back, even if his nails bit into the palms of his hands deep to keep himself in line. He wondered then, in those moments if she brought it out in him. If just by her nature, it kicked at it just often enough that it was closer to the surface. And if that was the case? What it meant. Leija had been attracted by it, she'd wanted it closer to the surface, where she could see it, flirt with it. Nic? Just didn't know what she was doing, because while she was aware there were shadows, she didn't know what those shadows were. Where they stemmed from. All at once he was thinking he needed to go for a long walk and think about shit. Really, really think. So, sleep wasn't going to be on his agenda for a bit. "Night, Nic." he said, as opposed to anything else, and he decided it was best not to give himself any leeway at the moment. So instead of even pressing a kiss to her temple like he wanted to, he just opened the window and dropped back out of it, after tossing his coat and shit out first. The cold would do him good at the moment, or that was the working theory.

"Goodnight Caleb," she said after him with a quizzical smile. Nic had no clue that she was being unfair. To her, she was showing some control by stepping back like that instead of pinning him in a biting kiss like she wanted. It wasn't the darkness that drew her in, it was who he was in spite of it. It was just so compelling. "Walk safe," she murmured just enough to be heard before sliding the window closed and sighing. Nic needed to know what he couldn't say. She needed to, even if he was telling the truth and it would scare her off. The denial of such compatibility hurt, but in a good way. "Now I get those shitty eighties ballads," she murmured to herself as she watched Caleb disappear into the dark. With a sigh, she turned back to her bed, shirking her t-shirt and climbing back in. "Fucking hair metal," Nic muttered, thinking that it'd be a good weekend, car work or no.