Unsettled Ground

Who: Kayos and Jocelyn
Where: over the phone
When: midday

Jocelyn had stalled a little on getting in touch with Kayos that was the plain and simple of it. She'd justified it with the fact that she was busy and that she wasn't sure yet what she wanted to say to the other woman, but most of it wasn't as close to the truth as the fact that she'd just avoided it all together. Most of her morning had been spent pacing in Babylon debating on what to say when she called Kayos. Finally she just gave in and called the number Doc had given her, hoping Kayos would pick up in general.

Kayos was busy doing clean up in a nearly finished room in her building. She was kind of making it liveable one bit at a time, and she wanted a place that was going to be cool for, say, sleeping in. Sleep was cool, she enjoyed it. It was rad, and totally made her not flip out and become crazy. She was all about anything that ensured that, really. She didn't even look at the caller ID when she took the phone from her pocket, since there were exceedingly few people who had it at all, so she didn't expect anyone but Teddybear, Eric or maybe Hunt. "County Morgue." she answered, looking over the room again, and debating what else she wanted to put up with for the time being, or if she wanted to call it quits, shower, and fall into bed. That was kind of seeming like the more awesome option.

"Wait, what?" Jocelyn asked confused at the answer. Morgue? Doc would not play jokes on her about this would he? Wasn't her making friends with Kayos just as important to him as it was to Jocelyn? Quickly she checked the number she'd dialed on the phone and seeing it was the right one, she plowed forward. "Kayos?"

Kayos, for her part, didn't actually think anyone ever fell for the 'county morgue' line, so she blinked a second, then frowned as she heard her name and the confusion. "...ummmmm....speaking?" she suggested, sounding unsure herself now. Apparnetly confusion was contageious.

Well at least she had the right person. Jocelyn let plans to ward her room against demons and thus Doc drop and started in again with the phonecall. "It's Jocelyn. Doc's teammate." It was a struggle to find the right title, but she'd settled on teammate. She was afterall on Doc's team.

Right. Think I'm that much of an idiot? You're his girlfriend for fucks sake. Kayos thought, but didn't share. "Hi. Um...did you need something?" she asked, her confusion on being called by Jocelyn quite clear in her tone. The correct term was probably hedging in towards 'totally fucking mystified'.

God this woman was impossible. "We got off to a bad start. I want to try it over again." She paused, knowing most of her speech sounded rehearsed and knowing Kayos wouldn't be impressed. It was all she had though, if she didn't stay on script she'd hang up and give up on the whole situation all together. "Doc wants us to work together at the very least, and I'm willing to try that. I was hoping we could meet."

"Doc also likes to think everything'll work out in the end, he's a positive thinker that way." Kayos said. She sighed. "Look, Jocelyn, I'm sure you're only doing this because he's putting you up to it, and if that's the case? Then it's not going to work out anyways, because you won't really give a shit. I'm not going to be in your way. I am free and clear from your way. I'm not going back to the safehouse, it's all yours, and the other guy made it pretty damn clear that I wasn't welcome either so...you've put in your token effort. You're covered. If he asks if you called, I'll tell him you did. You're off the hook."

Jocelyn bit her toungue to keep from cursing at the other woman. "I'm not looking to be off the hook, Kayos. I'm doing this for our team as much as I am for Doc. He seems to think you'll help and now that it's really just the three of us besides the twins and I know he doesn't want to risk them." It was hard keeping her tone from being terse, but she was getting frustrated. "I'm not trying to keep you out of the way or push you to the side. I'm trying to make you part of our team. If Doc's even remotely close to right we're going to need all the help we can get." Something else she'd said though caught Jocelyn's attention. "What other guy?"

"If it's just the three of you and the twins, what other guy do you think I'm taking about?" Kaysen asked with a tired sigh. "Him. The werewolf. Who decided to hit me up immediately with 'are you a demon', by the way. That was fabulous. Where'd he get that idea? I know Doc hadn't told him about me yet, but he knew my name." So use your fucking head. "And you'll still get my help. I just won't show up for team meetings and get my own decoder ring and the secret password or handshake or whatever." she promised, because she would. No matter what, if she was needed, she'd be there. "You've got my number. If you need anything, call. It'll get done. You have my word."

Jocelyn cringed for Grayson. He was loveable but damnit sometimes he was an idiot. "That's Grayson, sorry. He's naive for a werewolf. Actually it's ridiculous, he didn't even believe witches existed. His bank of terms is limited and he's just latched on to one. I'll talk to him about it." If she'd doubted it before, it was more than obvious that Grayson was there for her, thick or thin and she loved him for it. "I don't want bad ground between us. In some ways I acted wrong, but in others you would have done the same. Strangers in a safe house is never a good thing. And being told implicitly to just trust someone without asking questions is a little ridiculous."

Kayos was silent for a minute. "Do not ever fucking presume to tell anyone you do not know that they would have behaved the same way as you. Because you do not know me, chick. You don't. And I don't want there to be bad blood either? But your behavior was deporable. Strangers at the safehouse--it wasn't like you just happened upon a burglar, was it? You say strangers in a safe house is never a good thing. Well, you were a stranger at one point. You didn't catch me just wandering around there by myself, I was with someone who knew where it was and had set it up. What if he was helping me? What if I'm meant to work with you, which happened to be the case? I could get it if you came by and I was wandering the place alone. If I was a total unknown, unescorted, in the wrong damn place. But I wasn't doing that. No, I was having breakfast with the guy you're supposed to trust more than anyone. You see someone in a relaxed setting with your 'boss' in the safehouse? You introduce yourself. You sit down, say hi, get to know them. Those questions you mentioned? Yeah, that actually goes better if you don't immediately hit the bitch button and alienate them. You don't immediately jump down their throat and hit the screaming suspicion switch. That was fucked, and if you ever want to learn to work with anyone, you need to tone that down. You went into full on suspicious, jealous bitch mode within seconds. I'm not an idiot, I know what that was, even if you're kind of selling it like it's something else." she said, sighing and leaning back against the wall.

"You were giving me the evil eye before I even said hello. There's nothing about that that's okay. Not for you, or your future relationships with people you need to work with, or for what it says about you and your relationship with Doc. You proved right there that you don't trust him as far as you can throw him and that's not right. Honestly? I felt freaking horrible for the guy with your displays there. And the shot you took at him about his preferences? ...that was insulting. To everyone in the room, including yourself. The man practically raised me, I can't tell you just how..." she shook her head, really feeling just flat out bad about the implication Jocelyn had made about she and Doc's possible relationship. No. Just no, no, and no. "It just...none of that was okay. To be honest, Jocelyn, you pretty damn severely hurt my feelings. And maybe that doesn't mean anything to you, I kinda doubt that it would, because I kind of get the impression you think that you're in the right and maybe just stepped a smidge wrong, and I should just roll over and take it, or let this be easy for you. But that's not who I am, and I'm not going to start compromising that for you. If you actually want to work on things, and you really care and want to put in the effort, I won't lie. It's not going to be a cake walk. You've damaged something here and if you want it fixed you're going to have to try, and just a phonecall isn't going to do it. You proved to me that you're unstable, you leap to conclusions and act on immediate impulses, and those aren't ones dictating a better nature. It was suspicion and jealousy that you went with the knee-jerk on, instead of thinking it through a minute, even if you were startled. I get startled. I get surprised. That's cool, it's how you dealt with it that wasn't on the level." She paused, then finished up. "I wouldn't have done the same thing, Jocelyn. Not even close."

Goddamnit. She should have known better. She should have turned that man down the minute he walked into the room she lost control of seducing him. Then she could have stayed semi miserable little Jocelyn the whore, who was damn good at what she did and who spent her downtime learning new spells and deabting the real wrong in blood magic. But no, she had to pledge herself and her heart to a man who didn't have time for her and who continued to surround himself with women who just hated her on principle. She was not cut out for this; she wasn't Kurt and yet now, more than ever she felt herself taking point on a team fighting something she wasn't even sure existed. Anger bubbled up through her and she had and urge to set something on fire. She should run, just like Kurt. She should pack up her stuff and leave now, head back for Louisianna and back to her gaurded heart. Back to stain of Jean's blood she'd bewitched to never wash off.

"If you'd shown up a few days earlier, I wouldn't have second guessed a damn thing. I would have continued to follow along after Doc like a damned lemming. Figures you'd show up after his daughter bitches me out for trusting him implicitly. So yes, most of my mood was based in jealousy but another part of it was Synnove's voice ringing in my ears about not being such a wet blanket and asking questions. So I asked questions and I got more pissed off when no one answered me. I called now to make amends and hopefully meet with you and ask a few more questions, see if you could tell me what Doc won't. He seems to have some idea that we need to learn everything for ourselves and you've seen how well that worked out with Grayson." Jocelyn's pleasant diplomatic tone was gone and the frustration and defeat was evident. "And, I'm making another assumption here, but I'm sure you can guess how well my relationship goes with Doc. You know him better than I do, and you can infer how he views it as a time bomb waiting to go off."

She listened, considering Jocelyn had listened to her, so it was only fair. "But that was it, you didn't really ask questions, you just jumped right to jealous bitchery. And if you can admit that most of your mood was that, then how does that translate to you just being a little in the wrong?" she asked. "I really...don't get you." she admitted, because it was true, and she thought that it should be out there. Because at least that meant she wasn't saying that she understood Jocelyn's motivations behind everything, except for the jealousy one that they both agreed was a factor. "...I wouldn't know about your relationship with him, we didn't talk about it, really. It's not my business, what you two have between you. I can only give you opinions on what I've seen. Though...why would you think he views it as a time bomb?" she asked. Because that part she didn't understand either, but it seemed important to address.

Some days Jocelyen didn't get herself. She was a living contradiction. Outwardly she'd been playing a game, constantly in charge and confident, when inside she was usually just scared and self deprecating. Now that's she'd shed more of her shield to be with Doc, more of the insecure part was showing through and it was hard to maintain her cool without giving in to it completely. One thing was certain she didn't feel wrong, but perhaps her anger had been directed at the wrong person. Maybe it was Doc she should be yelling at and not Kayos, but then again, the woman hadn't bother to give her anything in the way of an explanation, just another lecture. The anger was still there in her voice. "Do you want me to concede and just say you were right Kayos? Say that I was all in the wrong and that I shouldn't wonder where in the hell you came from or what you need from Doc?" Kayos' questions about her relationship stilled Jocelyn fierceness a little, but what was left in its place was sarcasm. "For my own sake, I hope he was different before, that there was a time and a place where he didn't believe either he was going to leave or everyone else would leave him at any given moment."

You, woman, do not get it. Was Kayos' first thought at Jocelyn's rant. "It's not about being right." she said first. "And I didn't ask you to concede anything. I'm telling you how I see it and how I feel. If you don't like it, that's not my fault. I'm also trying to help you, though I doubt a whole lot like you'd view it as such." she said. "It's weird that you worded it like that though. What I need from Doc. Who said I need anything?" she asked, because that one did seem to come out of left field for Kayos. "I was there having breakfast with my old partner. That was it. Catching up on old times, talking about people we've lost along the way. I'm here to help him. Not the other way around." she corrected, still wondering where it had even come from that she'd automatically leap to that conclusion. She guessed it just really said something about Jocelyn as a person. Then she thought about the last bit, ignoring the sarcasm, because she thought there had been a real thing to address there and she planned on addressing it if she could. Doc had women problems. He always had, and most of the time they were remarkably similar. So really, she might be able to help, if she could get Jocelyn to tell her what was up. "You said you think he views it like a time bomb. You're talking about what you just said? That he believes there's leaving going to be going on, regardless?" she questioned, so she was getting the problem in question right before she tried addressing it.

Jocelyn grumbled internally. She still wanted to leave town, or at least her box of a room. Briefly she wondered what it would cost her to get away from Babylon all together, if Eris would take her voice like the mermaid in the fairytale. Freedom had to come with a serious price. Also she considered how much trouble she'd get in for just wreaking havoc bewitching the hell out of the bar, turning wine to vinegar and ensuring glasses wouldn't hold liquid. It would be useless though, as Eris would know the first stop on the list of people to blame. Rubbing her eyes with the hand not holding the phone she did what Doc would expect her to do. "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings Kayos," Jocelyn gave. It was even a mostly genuine apology. She hadn't intended to hurt anyone, just keep from being hurt herself. "Did he call you then? Why would you be here if you didn't need something from him? I would think he would have mentioned it if he'd called you in." And given me a fucking heads up. "And yes, he operates like everything good must have an expiration date. I gave up my job for him and he still thinks I'm going running for the hills." Yet, she was still thinking about leaving. She reassured herself in the fact that she knew she wouldn't go, that she was too attached now to leave.

"Thank you for the apology." Kayos said. She didn't know if it made anything better, but it was a start. It was more than just 'whatever, I'm calling, let's pretend it's fine now' which was what it had felt like earlier. "He didn't call me." she answered. "...and we're partners. Haven't you ever had anyone in your life that you dropped in on? That didn't mean there had to be some ulterior motive?" she asked, thinking that certainly said a whole damn lot too. "You're...really kind of attributing a lot of weird here when it shouldn't be that hard a concept to grasp. So either you don't get human nature at it's basest level, or friendship, or...I dont even know what." she said. "I'm sure you've noticed, but the world's going to hell. He and I, we've always been in the middle of things. Always. So I showed. Things are bad, he's my partner, I wanted to check on him. See him. Help him if he needed me. And he does. I can do things other people can't. I'm useful to have around, and I know how he works and he knows how I work so we don't have to second guess each other."

"If you just dropped in, you would have come here, to Marquette, not just dropped in on him in Wyoming or wherever," Jocelyn pointed out. And sure she was contributing loads of weird to the whole thing, but that was Doc's fault. He was too vague with answers for her not to assuming something else was going on. "I'm just not sure what's going on Kayos, and I'm not enjoying being kept in the dark." Jocelyn stalled a second before going on. Kayos didn't know about her other employer or she would have known Jocelyn wouldn't be adept at personal relationships. "And no I don't have a lot of friends. My work doesn't lend toward it. It's mostly Doc, the naive werewolf and a handyman." She included Billy because it gave her some credit, even though she hadn't talked to him in weeks. "I left that part of life behind a long time ago, and I've only just recently started to get it back."

Kayos silently counted to ten. "If I was a girl who couldn't locate people by gps coordinates, and literally pop in on them absolutely anywhere I could find them, that would be true. But it's not. I teleport. I've got the man tagged, just so I can find him, like he can always reach me." she explained. "So for me, it's not actually unusual to just drop in where ever. I wouldn't just go to Marquette, because when I was looking for him, he wasn't there. He was in BFE. So, I showed in BFE. I get it might be odd to you, but it's just what I do. I don't make the same travel plans as everyone else." she explained as patiently as she could, which really, she did a good job with. "And again, if you didn't fly off the handle and treat me so badly, I probably could have cleared up a whole lot for you and then you wouldn't feel like you were in the dark. "I'm sorry but you not knowing things isn't my fault. If you'd not behaved how you had straight away, I would have been happy to explain this to you then." she said honestly. "Try visiting people sometimes when you don't have something you need out of them. It'll probably help you feel better." she added, and it was not a snide remark. It was honest, since Jocelyn said she hadn't had friends in a long time, and she'd automatically put things on those terms, so it had to be terms she would view the world through.

She can teleport, Jocelyn thought. She went over a quick mental list of things that meant Kayos was but nothing was really coming together. It was odd she didn't pick up that the other women was a willworker when both of Jocelyn's employers were such, but neither was terribly open about their actual abilities. Jocelyn knew full well Eris was capable of manipulating everything around her, and Doc seemed to have similar abilities, but the term hadn't been thrown out there yet. Even with a term or a full knowledge of Kayos' abilities it was easy to see how essential she could be in the end of the world. All of this would have been useful days ago when Kayos first poofed out of the safehouse. Jocelyn decided she was officially hexing her door against demons just give Doc an idea of her frustration. "The Laurents are not the type of family who want their prodigal daughter to return." Jocelyn was honest in return, and hoped that perhaps Kayos would understand that she wasn't the only one at fault for losing touch with almost everyone in her life, other people didn't want her around either.

"So visit people who want you around or you want to be around. No one said 'family'." Kayos said honestly. There'd been a reason she'd wound up growing up in Doc's household. Her own parents weren't exactly on the level with her either. She didn't know where they were, what they were doing, nothing. They'd never quite wanted her anyways, so whatever. Her family was who she damn well said her family was these days. "Family...gets dicey sometimes. So if they don't count with you, do friends. Either way, my point stands."

How a conversation that was supposed to clear the air between two people worked into Kayos giving her advice on how to handle her relationships Jocelyn had no idea. But her personal life and it's shortcomings were the last things Jocelyn wanted to hash through with someone she didn't understand or fully trust yet. Sure, makes perfect sense to just pop in on a friend when you think they might be in need, but why would Doc take her back to the safe house and not his house? If he's known her most of her life, the twins are bound to know her as well aren't they? Or at least know of her? Why take her to the safe house which is almost inhabitable? And why was Doc being so vague and distraught when he talked about her? He acted like she was a ghost. "It's a process," Jocelyn explained vaguely. It's hard going from an osctracized black magic wielding witch whore to a fully functioning member of society. "Working at Babylon makes it harder than most would imagine. I've only just recently re-worked my contract so I have that sort of free time on my hands."

Kayos hadn't really known she worked at Babylon and didn't know what the reference was either. She plain didn't know Jocelyn's history, even recent history. "I wouldn't know about Babylon, or contracts or anything. Just saying, if you've got the time, try it. And you still haven't said why you think Doc thinks everything's doomed. Lately he seems pretty optimisitc to me. Sort of...figuring things'll run their course and work out in the end." She wasn't sure when he'd started being an optimist, but she guessed it was better than being a flaming pessimist. "I know that he sometimes has a tendency to get too wrapped up in the calling. Kind of..." she paused, trying to figure out her wording so it would make sense. "...where he forgets the little things, because he's too concentrated on the big picture. Sadly, the big picture is made up of the little things, and so really he kind of needs someone to drag him back down from Calling Land to show him that. It just takes work." I really hope that makes sense....

"Doc is Doc. I haven't known him long enough to judge if he's far more optimistic than he was, but he won't let go of the idea that he doesn't deserve the good things in life that come his way," Jocelyn started explaining without even realizing what she was doing. Honestly she'd not had the chance to talk to anyone about the situation. Grayson seemed to know something was going on, but didn't ask questions and it wasn't a topic Jocelyn wanted to broach with him. "It's fine though. I'm sure it will either work out or run it's course." There was nothing more that Jocelyn felt like she wanted in this moment than to stop talking about her relationship.

"Well that's bullshit." Kayos said. Not to Jocelyn's statement, she wasn't calling the girl a liar or anything, she was naysaying Doc's opinion on the matter. However it didn't really surprise her, either. "If it was fine, I don't think we'd be where we are right now." Kayos said, and her tone was actually gentle, there. "I don't want to stick my nose in where it doesn't belong, though. I don't know. If you want insight on the guy, I can probably give it to you, but I don't want to overstep."

"It's not my opinion, it's just how he acts," Jocelyn said, defending herself against the bullshit comment. The anger was starting to fade, but that was common when she let her thoughts drift to Doc. She was still angry at him, but finding herself less and less frustrated with Kayos. Well minus her not getting a clue about changing the subject. But oh, was the prospect of insight tempting. It was Kayos butting into Jocelyn's business, but that didn't mean it wasn't appealing to figure some stuff out. "Just don't understand why he thinks I'm going to want out every other minute." It wasn't much but it was something.

Kayos considered how to answer that. "I think it's less that he thinks you will, and more he gets that he's stupidly difficult to deal with at times and most of the women in his life have cut out eventually. Most of the time because he can't have the kind of relationship most people are looking for. Like...he's got this higher purpose thing rocking, and a lot of people can't handle not being the center of the universe for him, y'know? I mean, I think it's pretty lame to decide you might do that too, even before you have, but that's where it comes from. It's not personal against you, it's experience playing in for him." she explained as best she could.

"Yea, I've heard that one before," Jocelyn said weakly rubbing her forehead with the heel of her hand. "Did you leave him too? He wouldn't say, but I had assumed it was him bailing before you got hurt which seems to be his other excuse for putting an expiration date on our relationship." Her tone wasn't accusatory, it was just a question.

Kayos frowned. "...Jocelyn, we were never together." she said. "Which I thought I made clear, especially when I told you that I was insulted by the implication before, and how he practically raised me and all that." God did she need that spelled the fuck out, even though she'd made it perfectly clear that the idea was repellent to her? Either Jocelyn didn't listen, or she just conveniently forgot everything that wasn't fitting in with her current beef.

"No, no, I got that. I've had that pointed out more than once," Jocelyn explained. I'm not an idiot. "But you worked together, and then you didn't. And if it worked so well why stop working together. I just want to know what happened. Why you stopped working with him? He talks about you like he'd never thought you'd come back. I'm just curious what drove you apart."

"He had things he needed to do. I had things I did. So, we went to go do them." Kayos explained. "I still don't think that the kind of thing you're asking about would even impact a relationship that wasn't a romantic one. Neither of us bailed, we just had other things to do with our lives." she explained. Or, that was how she thought about it. Sure, he'd died on her, she'd died on him, but that wasn't quite the point..or one she could really say. "Things were just...different, I guess."

There was something else, something that wasn't being said. Jocelyn knew it wasn't romantic, she'd been able to figure that out as well as having been told it, but that didn't change the way Doc's demeanor changed when he talked about Kayos. She pushed back the itch to ask more questions, deciding Kayos wouldn't budge on her story and that Doc would have to be who she ferreted the information out of. "Sorry to pry, it just didn't seem that way to me. The way he talks...I think you going your way hurt him more than he'd admit. I just thought there was something different in the way you two parted ways. Something different than the other people in his life, not just the romantic relationships," Jocelyn conceeded, giving Kayos space to talk more if she wanted, but also giving her a way out.

Kayos appreciated the out. It wasn't like she was going to tell her real origin story, it was insane. Plus, way to dishearten people. 'Yeah I come from a world that died cuz we couldn't stop it'. Nope. Not inspiring in the least. "I'm sure it did." she said, voice a little bit quieter. "Life happens sometimes, though." Or death, in her case. But to Doc, it was the scars of having lived.

"That I can understand," Jocelyn answered, thinking of Jean and of her siblings she'd left behind. Sometimes you just had to do it, but that didn't mean it sucked any less. "Kayos, if he decides we can't handle being in the same room, he's going to see to it that we don't have to deal with it unless it's dire. I tell him it just won't work, Doc'll make sure we aren't put together unless the world relies on it. I'm willing to tell him that if it's what you want."

Kayos had already told him her own opinion on the matter, but she thought about it anyhow. "What do you think? How do you feel?" she asked, honestly wanting to know. Though Jocelyn's opinion wouldn't cover Grayson too. That was a whole other mess all on it's own.

"To be honest? I'm not sure I trust you with my life, or Grayson's yet, but that's something that's not going to happen overnight," Jocelyn started, her tone even. "I do know Doc trusts you that much and you him, so it's not completely out of the question that a trust of that level could be developed." Especially when there's such a need for it. "But I don't feel completely comfortable with him keeping us in the dark about each other. That seems dangerous." And I don't want him to feel like he needs to keep secrets.

Kayos exhaled. "Jocelyn." she said, attempting to be patient. "The reason that you don't know anything about me, is because you walked in before he got a chance to even do more than catch up with himself. And then you drove me right on out of the house, and didn't bother asking me anything, really, so this continued pity party about being 'kept in the dark' is bullshit, and it'd be really really nice if you could get off of it. You haven't been wronged here, I'm not keeping you in the dark, and if he is, then that's an issue to take up with him. But really? If you're feeling like you haven't been handed over information it's your own fault, and so far, you don't seem willing to take much responsibility for anything. So at least own up to that. You could have gotten a lot if you'd just behaved rationally. You didn't. Now there's a whole lot of damage done and ground to be made up for, if it's even possible. Right now, I don't know. I'd like to think maybe, but...seriously, this conversation you've blamed Doc, you've blamed me, you've blamed Doc's daughter...pretty much everyone but you. That says to me you're looking for the out. That you can't even look at a situation and say 'I fucked up'. You want to place blame on the people around you rather than doing the adult thing. And if that's what's most important to you, than I'm pretty sure this isn't going to be worked out. So...I guess get back to me when you figure that out. I'll still be around."

Jocelyn breathed slowly, fighting back her fears and insecurities that were pushing through the glaze of anger that had worn thin. Was there nothing she could do right? She'd been given one task, make Doc happy and even now she was sure she failed at it. Maybe she was just hurt that he'd set someone else in front of her, that she had another strong person to live up to, or maybe, maybe she'd just been jealous of how relaxed he'd seemed from the start. "I did fuck up Kayos, I wouldn't have called if I didn't. I do that. Being human means I fuck up. I'm just not allowed any mistakes, so sometimes I just have to take my fuck ups in stride and move on as if they weren't." She sounded in control, but she was losing it. One lone tear escaped and a sob caught in her throat but she managed to swallow it down. "I should go."

"Well, the people you fuck up with just see that as you not owning up. That's you just pretending you did absolutely nothing wrong, and you don't give a shit that you trod all over them. So if that's your way of dealing? Know that that's the result. And it's not a good one. I'd recommend working on that. Calling doesn't say 'Hey, sorry, I fucked up', it says to me? Probably Doc put you up to it. You're allowed mistakes. Everyone is. But take responsibility for them. No one around you's a mind reader. All we have to go on is what you say and what you do, how you behave. Keep that in mind. It'll probably help you out a whole lot if you do." Kayos said, honestly. People, as far as she had experienced, often forgot that very simple detail. That no one else lived inside their head. That all anyone had to go off of was what they gave. And if they didn't give anything but 'whatever'? Then...

"Doc didn't put me up to it, Kayos. I called because I wanted to. Because he means the world to me and you mean the world to him. He supported the decision, but it was my idea." Jocelyn was able to push back her anxiety while defending her decision, but it wouldn't hold. "I am sorry though." What else was she supposed to say? It seemed she just lived her entire life completely wrong. Standoffish and closed off had helped her survive Jean's death and now it was slowly killing her.

"Thank you." Kayos said. The simple apology helped. "I appreciate that." she said, tone indicating she was being honest there, because she was. "Not sure what'll go on, but...you have my number if anything's needed on my end. Don't hesitate to call, either." she said, wanting to stress that. Because with Kayos, personality non-meshing aside, if she was needed? She was there. End of story. "Seriously, don't. I'll be around. And I'll always help."

"Thanks," Jocelyn answered, hoping she wouldn't need it. Or at least she wouldn't be the one making the call, even though she knew full well she would. If they needed Kayos, it would mean Doc wasn't around and if Doc wasn't around...well those sort of things fell onto her now didn't they? Kurt had left her a giant pair of shoes to fill hadn't he? The sense of responsibility weighed down on her again and she pushed the heel of her free hand against her eyes. "Same goes for us, if you need us, just call." Her voice wavered on the edge, but she spoke for Grayson same as herself. If she told him she needed his help, he'd help. That's what friends were for.

"I will." Kayos said. "...have a good night, Jocelyn." she said. "I'm sure we'll see each other sometime, here." she added. They would. She didn't know when, but sometime. It was inevitable. She hung up, and hoped for the best, even if she was having a little trouble doing that lately. Though, even if the call hadn't gone very well, likely by either of their standards, she felt at least they'd gotten some things covered. And sometimes that was just where you had to start.